TRIFLING ALICORN!

by Vertigo22

Rating: teen
Tags: Violence, Crossover, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Warcraft, Spike, Comedy, Starlight Glimmer, Random
Length: 2240

Twilight Sparkle summons Jaraxxus, an Eredar Lord of the Burning Legion.

While Starlight Glimmer and Spike are out for the morning, Twilight Sparkle attempts a spell she found in a book. However, she wasn't prepared for what would happen after she performed it...

"TRIFLING ALICORN!"

Published 2016-09-30 23:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-09-30 23:20:01 UTC

You Face Jaraxxus!

Twilight Sparkle stood in her bedroom. In front of her lay a large book with a few peculiar symbols, and a list of various items.

“Okay, Starlight and Spike went out for the morning,” Twilight said to herself as she looked around her room. On the nearby bookshelves were lit candles, and scattered across the floor were the seals of royal guard champions. Twilight levitated some green rocks onto the ground. Several others surrounded her as she reviewed the formation of the ground. “Everything seems to be in place. Time to see what this spell will do!” Twilight's horn glowed as she began the spell, which caused a green portal to open in front of her. “Ah-hah! I have done it!” she exclaimed.

The portal swirled and crackled with green electricity as a large hoof emerged, followed by a large, red skinned creature. It had enormous claws and was bipedal. It stood fifteen feet tall, and looked around the room before it yawned.

“Um, hello,” Twilight said sheepishly as she stared up at the enormous being. “I'm Twilight Sparkle. Who are you?”

“You dare disturb my beauty sleep!?” the creature bellowed, which caused Twilight to flinch. “The Eredar do not take kindly to being disturbed while they rest! Especially Jaraxxus!”

Twilight regained her composure and looked up at the Eredar. “A what now?” she asked, confused.

“An Eredar!” Jaraxxus proclaimed proudly. “It is my race! We serve the titan Sargeras!” he yelled as he walked towards Twilight, each step shaking the room. “We have conquered countless worlds! However, you are unlike anything I have ever seen.” Jaraxxus kneeled down and looked Twilight in the eye. “What are you?”

Twilight gulped as her eyes darted around the room. “Um, well, I'm an Alicorn,” she said as she continued to look for anyway to escape. “More specifically, I'm the princess of friendship!”

“The princess of friendship?” Jaraxxus asked as he stood back up. “I've conquered many worlds, but I've never been to one where they have a princess for that.”

“Well, now you have!” Twilight said. “So, uh, what's it like from where you are?”

“Lots of demons, big rock creatures, fire, and that bastard Malchezaar,” Jaraxxus said. “Anyways! I must plan for the destruction this world! Tell me: do you have a room we can use to plan in?”

“Wait, why do you want to destroy this world!?” Twilight asked.

“Listen, insignificant Alicorn, you summoned me here,” Jaraxxus said. “Nobody ever summons an Eredar unless they wish to conquer a world or destroy it!”

“Well, I was just testing out a spell,” Twilight said. “So, it was nothing more than a mistake!”

“A mistake!?” Jaraxxus stomped a hoof on the floor and glared angrily at Twilight, who took a few steps back. “There are no mistakes when summoning an Eredar! You clearly must wish for the Burning Legion to conquer your planet, and we must plan for it!”

“Well, this was a mistake!” Twilight snapped. “Now, go back from wherever you came from!”

“You dare order me—an Eredar Lord—around!?” Jaraxxus bellowed. “You must have a death wish to do such a thing!”

“No, I just wish to not have to deal with such a horrible creature on a day like today,” Twilight said. “I wanted to merely try out some new spells, and the first one summoned you—a being that rivals Discord in terms of obnoxiousness!”

“You clearly haven't met the Imps of the Burning Legion then,” Jaraxxus said. “They'd drive you to madness, and probably make you lose your hair—like me.”

“Wait, you once had hair?”

“I had the most glorious hair on Argus, until Kil’jaeden—the right hand of Sargeras—assigned me to attack a base on a planet with a squadron of Imps,” Jaraxxus said. “Those little bastards wouldn't shut up no matter what. It got to the point that I ripped every piece of hair I had out.” Jaraxxus covered his face with his hands. “They used my hair to make fake mustaches!”

“While I'm sorry about your hair,” Twilight said, “I'm afraid that this isn't your world, and I won't allow you to conquer it!”

Jaraxxus looked up at Twilight and growled. “You will help me or you shall perish in the wake of the Legion’s might!” he said as he stopped a hoof on the floor.

“Not if I have anything to say about that!” Twilight said as she charged up her horn.

Jaraxxus raised a hand, and green energy began to surround it. “Trifling Alicorn! Your arrogance will be your undoing!”

“We’ll see about that,” Twilight growled as she fired a magic bolt at Jaraxxus, which struck his chest.

“You face Jaraxxus! Eredar Lord of the Burning Legion!” Jaraxxus yelled as he threw a Fel boulder at Twilight, who teleported out of the way of the fiery rock.

“And you face Twilight Sparkle! Princess of friendship and defeater of Tirek!”

Jaraxxus let out a hearty laugh. “Yeah, that doesn't sound so intimidating from something a fourth my size.”

Twilight grit her teeth and fired off a powerful magic bolt at the Eredar Lord, which struck his chest, and made him glance down. “Well, you're a bigger nuisance than Wilfred Fizzlebang was,” Jaraxxus said as he flicked Twilight away. “Now, the destruction of this world shall truly begin!” Jaraxxus held out a hand and created another portal. “Come forth sister! Your master calls!”

Twilight charged up another blast of magic, and fired it at the portal, which caused it to explode. “Hah!” she said. “So much for your backup!”

Jaraxxus looked at the area where the portal had once been. “No matter! There's a reason you must summon an Eredar with green lava rock!” Jaraxxus raised a hand, which caused the green rocks to take the form of a large, green fiery demon made of rock. “INFERNO!”

Twilight watched in horror as the Infernal rose up and towered over her. It raised its fist and slammed it downward. Twilight narrowly dodged the enormous demons attack and fired off a flurry of magical bolts at it. Each one struck the creature, but did little damage to it.

“Foolish Alicorn!” Jaraxxus said. “Your pathetic magic is no match for the might of an Infernal!”

Twilight grit her teeth and charged up one of the most powerful spells she knew. “My magic is not pathetic!” she yelled as she fired off a blinding beam of magic. It flew towards the Infernal and vaporized it.

Jaraxxus looked at the pile of ashes that had once been the Infernal. “Pitiful insect!” he said as his hands glowed green, and two portals began to form beside him. “That was but one of thousands upon thousands of Infernals! Now, witness the true power of the Burning-”

Before Jaraxxus could finish his sentence, the castle front door opened. “That was awesome, Starlight!” a voice exclaimed. “I hope we can go do karaoke again sometime!”

Jaraxxus’ eyes widened. “Wait, did you say karaoke?” he asked as he ran out of the room, the incomplete portals vanishing as he did so. “I love that! I'm the greatest karaoke singer Argus has ever known!” he said proudly.

Spike and Starlight both jumped backwards at the sight of the gigantic demon. “W-what in Celestia's name are you!?” Starlight asked in horror.

“He's not supposed to be here,” Twilight said as she staggered out of her room. “Starlight, please find a spell that will send him back.”

Jaraxxus turned around and looked at the Alicorn. “You summoned me here and didn't tell me they had karaoke? You nearly doomed your world!” he said. “Well, I mean, it's still going to be conquered, but you delayed it by fifteen minutes.”

“Please, be quiet,” Twilight groaned. “You're giving me a migraine.”

“It'll go away,” Jaraxxus said as he turned around, only to realize that Starlight and Spike had both vanished. “Where did your friends go!?”

“I don't know!” Twilight lied as she looked at the furious Eredar. “Maybe they went out to sing again.”

“And they didn't invite Jaraxxus!?”

“I guess.”

“This is worse than the time the Legion left me out of Poker Night!” Jaraxxus cried. “You ponies shall pay for this dearly!” Jaraxxus raised a fist and summoned a volcano, which began to erupt with Fel fire. “I will not be denied my chance to showcase my talents!”

Twilight teleported out of the way of the fire, and back into her room, while Jaraxxus summoned more of them. “Find anything yet?” she asked her two frantic friends.

“Nothing,” Starlight said. “Was there anything in that book that you didn't read?”

“I think there was an illustration showing what one would have to do if they wanted to send it back,” Twilight said. “Let me check.” Twilight slowly stood up and walked over to the book as chaos reigned from outside the bedroom. Starlight and Spike walked over as Twilight flipped through it. “Ah-hah, found it! It looks like we have to kick its... flank… uh-oh.”

“What's wrong?” Starlight and Spike asked simultaneously.

“Well, I tried to use my magic against it, but it seemed to have no effect on him!” Twilight said. “I have no idea how we can beat him!”

“Well, he might be capable of not being hurt by you alone,” Spike said, “but I doubt he can brush off an attack from both you and Starlight!”

“Well, we better make it quick,” Twilight said, “because I'm getting tired. I had to use everything possible to take out something he called an 'Infernal’.”

As if on queue, Twilight’s bedroom door swung open. “Sparkle! I come for you!” Jaraxxus said as an unfathomable amount of green fire roared behind him. “You will bring me to your karaoke bar, and you will do so now!”

“Wait, what happened to destroying our world?” Twilight asked, confused.

“That will come after our duet!”

Twilight looked at Starlight and then Spike, who both shared confused looks. “Um… why do you want to do a duet?” Twilight asked.

“Consider it a gift from me to your pitiful race before we destroy you all!” Jaraxxus said. “The rest of the Legion would never do such a kind thing!”

“Twilight, I don't think he's serious,” Starlight said. “I mean, he's done Celestia knows what to the rest of the castle, and he keeps saying he wants to kill us all.”

“You dare doubt the word of Jaraxxus?” the Eredar Lord said, a look of indignation on his face. “Fine! Be that way.” Jaraxxus’ hands glowed green as a ball of fire formed in them. “Flesh from bone!” he yelled as he hurled it at the two ponies, who leaped out of the way.

“Twilight, use every bit of power left in you to get rid of this monster,” Starlight said as her horn glowed.

Twilight’s horn glowed brightly as she charged up a magic beam. “On you,” she said to her student.

“Now!” Starlight said as she fired off a magic beam at the demon. Twilight followed suit and fired off the beam at Jaraxxus.

Jaraxxus reeled back in pain before he fell onto his knees. “Another will take my place!” he yelled. “Your world is doomed…” With that, he vanished into nothingness.

Twilight fell to the floor, exhausted. “I'm sending that book to Celestia,” she said. “If I ever see it again, I'm going to burn it.”

“Oh, come on, Twilight,” Starlight said. “You’ve fought worse than him.”

“I guess,” Twilight replied. “Still, I wonder if the castle is in one piece.”

“I’ll go check for you.” Starlight walked over to the bedroom door and opened it. “Um, Twilight?”

“Yes, Starlight?”

“Do you have insurance?”

“Yes,” Twilight said, a concerned look on her face. “Why do you ask?”

“Because you have no castle left.”

“WHAT!?” Twilight screamed as she ran over to the door. She looked out to see that there was, indeed, no castle left, and that all that remained were numerous green patches of fire, a few small volcanoes—which were no longer active, the ashes of all the plant life that had once been inside the castle, and the cutie map, which had 'JARAXXUS RULEZ’ carved on it.

“Where do you think all of the fire went?” Spike asked.

“It probably vanished when Jaraxxus was sent back to wherever he came from,” Starlight said. “I guess the patches weren't initially made by him.”

Twilight—meanwhile—seethed with anger. “Spike?” she asked through her teeth.

“Y-yes, Twilight?” The little dragon asked nervously.

“Send a letter to Princess Celestia that the castle is mostly gone,” Twilight said as she walked over to a bookshelf. “Then, how about you and Starlight go back out for… say, the rest of the day?”

Spike gulped and quickly wrote a letter to Celestia. “W-what if she sends one back?” he asked as he held it in his hand.

Twilight turned around. “Spike, I want to be left alone for now,” she growled.

“Okay,” Spike said. He sent it to Celestia and ran up to Starlight's side, who levitated the baby's dragon onto her back. “Don't step in the fire,” he said.

Starlight giggled. “Don't worry, I'll be careful,” she said as she walked out the door.

Twilight let out a sigh as a nearby wall crashed down. She faced the bookshelf again and levitated a few books down, which revealed a few magazines that lay behind them. Well, at least I have my Playpony collection, she thought.