Friendshit is Lols

by ThePonyCupcakeWizard

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Slice of Life, Dark, Alternate Universe, Romance
Length: 632

In Equlolstria, the sort of magic that goes on with friendship is a little... different.

Equlolstria. A completely identical world to Equestria: Only, the ponies are a little… well… different.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-26 21:14:31 UTC

Roseluck's Flowers

Whority clenched up her privates, the warm feeling of sexual pleasure moving through her clitoris. "Oh, oh, oh, OH!"

"Mmm hmm. You like that, dontcha, bitch? Whoo, I think I'm making a new hole. Oink for me, you sexy little pig." Caramel was enjoying himself.

"Oink! Oink! Oink! Ohhh... Oink!" Whority was enjoying this session. Normally, customers didn't give her any pleasure, paying and leaving once they had had their fill. Caramel had long since climaxed. Then again, this was her boyfriend. But she only charged him because of Daddy Spike's lust for riches.

I guess you probably want an explanation. Sure, Whority liked making clothes. She liked it a lot more than her actual job, as a prostitute. Actually, Whority isn't even this pony's real name. It's Sewrity, for her love of sewing. But how the fuck could she live off of selling dresses? Why the hell does a horse need clothes? Especially colorful horses with pictures on their asses! It's not like you're going to see a horse wang on My Little Pony! Sewrity had to find this out the hard way. She began running her business on low maintenance, and, well... got hired by Spike, who had begun pimping ponies. Sewrity signed up, and soon became bottom bitch, wearing spandex and licking horse balls (don't try to imagine how gross that would be). She made her dresses out of burlap (from potato sacks) to save money. Not that any pony knew that. Thus, she contracted the nickname "Whority".

Anyway, Sewrity could feel her vagina pulsate as her boyfriend shoved his shaft between her cutie marks. However, loud moaning and thumps has a certain capability of attracting the curious.

"SEWRITY! IT'S SWEETIE BELLE! I'M COMING IN!"

Sewrity and Caramel quickly got under the covers to hide their glistening parts.  "Oh... hello, Sweetie Belle, dear."

"Hey, big sis. Hey Caramel. What are you two doing in here."

"Um... private things... um... like, um..."

"What was all the moaning and thumping, sis?"

"We were practicing... acrobatics! The thumping was... uh... me knocking my underside on something hard. The moaning... um... was actually cheering... because... um... the acrobatics felt good."

"Wait, so you were practicing acrobatics... on a bed... in a small room... with no equipment?"

"Uh huh..."

"Sounds reasonable to me." Sweetie Belle hopped out of the room, humming.

"Where were we, sugar-babe?"

"It's no use, Caramel. The feeling's gone."

"Oh... well, you wanna go piss on Roseluck's flowers or something?"

"Why not?"

Daddy Spike strutted into the library, his gangly arms flowing through the air as he pimped out every step. However, his pimpin' was interrupted by the smell of smoke. "Twilight? You weedin' again? What'd I tell you about weedin'?"

"You told me that your fat dragon ass ain't here walkin' on the sunshine with me."

"Nah man, that ain't what I said. I said you should be dealin' it, not smokin it."

Twilight took another inhale from the bong. "Yo, Spike, did you get your hair cut... into... a turtle shell?" Twilight looked at Spike's head, bewildered.

"Hoo, man. Twi you trippin' balls right here." Owlichious piped up. "Anyway, man, quit hoggin' the bong. It's my turn."

"Take it, hooter. I'm set for at least an hour. Oh yeah, look at that lightning cake."

"Anyway, enjoy gettin' fried while I'm out pimpin' hos." Spike left, dissapointed. He had been trying to enlist the purple unicorn for the last two years.

"Hey, owl... dude... you thinkin' what... what I'm thinkin'..." The marijuana was starting to take it's toll on her thought process.

"I'm thinkin' that we go trip outside, you know..." Owlichious took another inhale from the bong. "We trip outside... like... where shit... where shit happens..."

"Yeah, you thinkin' right. Let's go piss on Roseluck's flowers."