Bird Brain

by Arbarano

Rating: teen
Tags: Big Macintosh, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Romance
Length: 1795

Pegasi are not birds. Though they act like them, sometimes. MacDash fluff.

Though entirely unrelated to birds, pegasi have been known to exhibit behaviours and habits that would be familiar to ornithologists.

Though it would not always be apparent, and indeed would often be shown in the most oblique of ways, Big Macintosh would find that his relationship with Rainbow Dash would provide good case studies to demonstrate this.

Blame Captain Unstoppable. For it is always his fault. Enjoy the MacDash fluff that is his fault.

Published 2016-10-04 22:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-10-04 22:10:01 UTC

Chocolate

Though entirely unrelated to birds, pegasi have been known to exhibit behaviours and habits that would be familiar to ornithologists. For example, though their diet is entirely consistent with those of other equines…

With a last gulp, Dash swung her hoof down and clattered her mug onto the table, eyes softly closed as the rich, thick chocolate had its merry way with her tongue. A deep, comforting warmth filled her chest to the very core as she snuggled deeper into the couch, the fabric teasing and scratching away the little niggles in her back. Beaming, her shoulders hitched for a moment before sinking down again, pushing out a languid sigh.

She smacked her lips, tongue searching them for more of the sweet, gooey goodness, and her head lolled back into the cushions.

Her ear twitched to a deep, burbling chuckle from her right. Her eyes shot open, flicking around until it fell onto red clydesdale sat next to her, and onto his big, stupid grin.

Brows nestling low over her eyes, she snorted at her coltfriend of three months. “Mac…” She regarded him coolly, unblinking eyes never leaving his own. Her hoof dragged over the coarse fabric as she leant over to him, head propped up on her shoulder, her muzzle inches from his own. “You better not say what I think you’re going to.”

Warm, wonderful breath washed over her muzzle, filling her nostrils with his woody, earthy scent as he ears rang with his chuckles. She kept her wings still, but her chest fluttered in its place and she scowled. No; he was not getting the chance to say it. “Mac.”

Her kept on grinning as she imagined the stormclouds circling above her head. Scoffing, she leant back into the cushions once more and folded her forelegs. Fine. She growled and turned away from the big oaf. If he was going to laugh at her for enjoying his sweet, awesome, thick cocoa, then she’ll go back to Pinkie’s.

Even if it meant her tastebuds hating her for the rest of her life.

“Nope.” She turned back to him, thrusting out her bottom lip as if it could smack that doofy smile off his. “Was just gonna’ say ‘Like the moustache, but I ain’t into stallions’.”

Dash stiffened, a hoof digging into the sofa as a brow quirked and her lips pursed. Her tongue wormed its way between them and she strained it towards her nose, eyes crossing and vision blurring as she tried to follow it. It had dried a little, allowing the fur poke at her tongue, but there was no denying the rich sweetness she found there.

She smirked, levelling her eyes right into his. “Really, Mac?” The sofa rumpled as she slumped back into the cushions, shoulders settling into their familiar groove, forelegs still wrapped together. “That’s your line?”

“Eeyup!” Mac thrust his muzzle high, letting out a proud chuff as his eyes closed. Heat flashed across Rainbow’s cheeks, her eyes gorging on the spectacle of that chest filling out, of those muscles bubbling up under that thick coat. A tingle skittered down her spine as his own straightened, raising his huge frame higher and higher until he towered over her, shoulders square and broad. A heady, sweaty scent tickled her nose, teeth toying with lips, stealing a glance at that thick, bulging rump…

Okay. Dash breathed in. The flutters faded in her chest. Dash breathed out.

Time to take this down a notch. And him a peg; she was the more awesome one, here.

“Well, if that’s the case…” she drawled, blinking to ease the tightness around her eyes. One corner of her mouth inched a little higher than the other as she leant over to the big slab of stallion. “I think you’re wrong.”

A chuckle shuffled out of her nose as Mac’s eyes shot open, his muzzle creasing and his brows crumpling into his eyes. He opened his mouth for a moment, a short breath whispering in, but popped it back shut and turned to stare at her. Cool magenta poked out from slitted lids into those wide, warm greens, and for a moment she got lost wandering in the leafy, grassy expanses. And then for a few more moments as he sat still, his barrel slowly deflating, her ears echoing to the rustle of his fetlocks against each other.

Her smile levelled out, eyes rolling. “I think you are into stallions, Mac.”

Mac blinked at her, eyes squirming to the fireplace before pulling them right back to her. “Uhh…” he affirmed, head cocking.

This time, Dash opened her mouth to release the cackle, cheeks bunching under her eyes. She rose to her forehooves, arching her back and stretching out like a cat, ready to pounce on the huge mouse. “Not judging, babe…” She nuzzled her cheek into his side, barely suppressing a cheer as she felt his heart hammering away. “I mean, I had the biggest crush on Stormy Flare when I was a filly, but…” Wood and work and warmth flooded her nose and she guzzled it, pressing more firmly into his side, muscles shifting and flexing underneath. “I just think it’s obvious.”

What had been a simple breath turned into a gasp as his nose tousled her mane. “Really?”

“Yep!”

One extra little shove was all it took for the mighty red oak to lean too far, and Dash grinned as it toppled, huge limbs spread wide but flailing limply. She caught its eye… trees had eyes, right? Yeah. Its eye as it kept on falling, chest trilling as she saw the sparks alighting them, before it crashed to the sofa floor with a loud “oof.”

Before his head had even hit the pillow she sprang to stand over him, hooves splayed wide to land either side of him expansive barrel. Dash gulped. It would be so easy… so right to just snuggle into that chest right now…

“Really, darlin’?”

“Mhm.” She nodded, shuffling and not waddling forwards so she could look right down into those bright, wide eyes. “After all, you thought I look like a stallion with this.” She brought a hoof to the sticky strip beneath her nose.

His snort tickled her chin. He smiled. “Eeyup.”

“And…” She brought the hoof down to his nose, his eyes popping as she booped his nose. “You’re into me. I mean, you can barely keep your hooves off this awesome bod, right?”

The smile grew. “Eeyup.”

“And this ‘tasche is the only difference between the two. Therefore…” She cleared her throat. Loudly. While perching her nose up and shimmying her shoulders. Before looking back down at her Mac. “You are into stallions.”

Mac chuckled. “Can’t fault the logic, Dash.”

“Plus…” She countered with her own laugh, a little wheezy and breathless. “I kinda am like a stallion.” Tilting her head, she flashed a smirk at him. “A bit.”

“Dash?”

“I mean, I do have really skinny hips.” She was a pegasus, after all. She needed to be rail-thin and super-light to slice through the air. “And some tight, corded muscles.”

“Dash?”

“And I do wear my mane really short. And messy.” Where was she going to find the time to deal with curling or straightening or, Celestia shoot her down, conditioning? More importantly, where would she find a buck to give about it?

Mac rubbed a hoof on her foreleg. “Darlin’.”

“And you’re always saying how much I stink of sweat. And that you love it.” He was the one who dragged her away from the shower to practically dissolve into her dank, clammy back, and he still called her beautiful.

“Sweetie…” His smile could melt steel.

“Hay, I think your butt sticks out farther than mine!”

That hoof rubbed against her foreleg again, this time shaking in time with his chuckles. “Eeyup.”

Yeah. She was the perfect picture of lean, mean pegasus, built to be at one with the sky, to work in tandem with the wind, and to string herself through an entire cluster of clouds and set them all off in turn without even losing her breath.

And she owned it.

“Yeah… I mean, you’d have to squint, but I do look kinda like—”

Warmth and tenderness smothered her mouth, and with it the last word. Her eyes popped wide, vision filled to bursting with red and orange, the green hidden. Smile softening and widening, she revelled at the little tingles his lip cracks sent across hers, throat clenching to hold back the moan he would never let her forget.

Something hot, something wet, something rough grazed her lips. Her hooves gave way.

Mac tensed as she drizzled herself over him, savouring the feel of his thick, coarse coat spreading against hers, but his lips stayed flush with hers, tongue flicking gently. Now she moaned; now she let that slick muscle into her mouth, somehow crisp and soft and earthy all at the same time; now she melded into his chest as his forelegs wrapped around her, wide hooves gently squeezing into her ribs.

It took everything in her to not groan when he pulled back with a small pop, his eyes cracking open. “The most beautiful mare I ever set eyes on.”

A million invisible, embarrassingly pleasant feathers tickled at her back, her wings straining to pop free, both against her and against those forelegs. She clenched her hind-hooves, blinking rapidly.

Darn this stallion. Just… just darn him and all the wonderful things he stood for.

“Y-yeah… but you like stall—”

His mouth crashed back into hers, hungrier and feistier as her gripped her sides ever more tightly. She practically squealed into the kiss, inching her hooves around his chest and writhing into it.

She could do this all day; just nestle into him and adore the little grunts and moans and spasms he made as she nuzzled each rib in turn, shamefully content and secure in the midst of her stallion. She tilted her head back, beaming as he slathered over her lip and tickled at her nose.

Hold on. Licking over her lip?

“Wait.” Pulling her head away from his, she stared at him through narrowing eyes. “Did you just do that to get the chocolate off my lip?”

He grinned. “S’good stuff.”

Author's Note

Well, when the random word generator chucks out 'Bird', what else is there to do?

Birds cannot digest chocolate. Actually, chocolate can kill humans too... provided one is committed enough to eat 10kg of it in one sitting. Conversely, a robin can be killed by a single smartie. (Source: QI).

Combine this, and an aversion to doing a basic 'kiss justified by presence of something on the lips' and we arrive this... which still ended with that trope. Darn.