You probably shouldn't go on the internet for a while.
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You probably shouldn't go on the internet for a while.
Twilight was so busy bonking her head on her desk that she didn't even hear the knock on her bedroom door. She didn't hear the second or third knocks either.
"Twilight," said a muffled voice.
"What?" she answered sharply.
"I, er, I would like to talk to you."
"I really don't feel like talking now."
"Yes, I gathered that. But even so. I promise I won't be long."
Twilight sighed and got up to open the door. Rarity stood outside looking sheepish.
"Make it quick," Twilight said. "Right now, I just want to go to bed." She returned to her desk.
Rarity stepped into the room and quietly closed the door behind her. Twilight had already changed into her pajamas, and was wearing a robe on top of it for good measure. There was a red spot on her forehead where she had bonked her head on the desk.
"First of all, I feel that I should... apologize," Rarity said gingerly. "I honestly have no idea why I did not make the shoulder strap stronger."
"Oh, really?" Twilight said flatly.
"I really am sorry, Twilight," Rarity said. "If there was anything that I could do to fix the situation, you know that I would."
Twilight snorted. "Maybe we could take a picture of your tit and spread it all over the internet. At least then maybe they wouldn't pay so much attention to mine."
"I... doubt that would help much," Rarity said carefully, hoping that Twilight was just being snide. "I certainly do take pride in my figure, but I don't quite think it would be enough to draw attention away from... uh..."
"A Princess?" Twilight asked.
Rarity nodded.
"Ugggh!" Twilight bonked her head on the desk again. "It isn't fair! I was finally getting used to being famous and popular and then this happens! That's all I'm going to be known for now, you know. No, I'm not 'Princess of Friendship' anymore, now I'm 'Princess Whose Tit Popped Out!'"
"I hardly think it's as bad as all that."
"Have you looked at the internet lately? It's everywhere! It even has it's own hashtag! It's not even that clever!"
"Out of curiousity..."
"It's 'Princess Titlight'. They weren't even trying. UGGHHH!" Twilight bonked her head on the desk again.
"You really ought to stop doing that," Rarity said. "I can't imagine that it's very healthy."
"I know, I know." Twilight sighed. "What am I supposed to do? I mean, I'm not stupid enough to try to quash it. That's only going to draw more attention. But I have to do something."
Rarity sniffed. "Well, the first thing you can do is calm down. It really could be worse."
"Worse? How could it be worse?"
"Well, first of all, you could've been caught without panties."
Twilight thought for a moment. "I guess being the Princess of Tits is a step up from being the Princess of Cooch, but that's like saying that losing a finger isn't that bad because you didn't lose the whole hand. You know, if you would've made that stupid shoulder strap just a little bit stronger..."
"I know. I'm sorry. I really am."
"Yeah, I know." Twilight's head started to move towards the desk again, but she caught herself. "But what do I do?"
"You ignore it. Your breast may be everywhere now, but within a few days, something else will have come up, and everyone will lose interest. It will only stay in the public consciousness if you make a big deal out of it."
"And what makes you say that?" Twilight said sullenly.
"Twilight, keeping abreast, er" —she wilted slightly under Twilight's glare— "keeping up to date with the celebrity scene is part of my business. And as a result I can tell you that nearly every celebrity has undergone something similar, and most of them are forgotten. Or at the very least, no one cares enough to discuss them."
"Really?" Twilight asked, perking up slightly. "Like what? I really don't keep up with this sort of thing."
"Well, a year or so ago, Princess Luna was at an airship christening and the back of her dress caught on the corner of the podium. Needless to say, the tabloids had a field day with all of the 'mooning' puns."
"Huh."
"Yes. It was everywhere. For all of a few days. Then some movie star backed their car into a donut shop and suddenly everyone forgot all about 'Princess Moon-a'."
"Princess Moon-a?"
"No one ever said that the media were witty."
"I guess so," Twilight said. She leaned against the desk, clearly tired.
"And at least in your case it was only a quick flash," Rarity continued. "I remember once Fleur-De-Lis attended a red carpet premiere and hadn't realized that her dress was... more sheer under the lights than she had anticipated. It must have been half an hour before she realized that her chest was visible. Needless to say I have always been careful that none of my clients would have to suffer that."
"A strap breaking, on the other hand..."
"Yes, I get." Rarity gave Twilight a sideways glance. "Trust me, I have an inkling of what you must be feeling."
"Is that so?" Twilight raised an eyebrow.
"It was a year or two before you came to Ponyville," Rarity said. "I had some photos taken to use for my Hearthswarming Eve Card. The dress I was wearing for the photo had a rather low neckline and, well... it wasn't until after I had sent the cards out that I realized it was a little too low."
Twilight bit her lip. "Awkward."
"Just a bit, yes." A slight blush crept onto Rarity's cheeks. "The worst of it is that not only did I send it to all of my family, but to a number of clients as well." Rarity shook her head. "Needless to say, things were quite strange for a while after that. And before you ask, no, you may not have a copy. I got rid of them all."
"I wasn't going to ask," Twilight said, smirking. "You should never let Spike find out about that, though."
"Trust me, he never will." Rarity cleared her throat.
"So what do I do while I wait for this to blow over?" Twilight said. She seemed at least a little bit happier now.
"If it were me, I would simply act like it never happened. If somepony asks you about it, just say it was an accident and move on. Make them feel foolish for dwelling so much on it."
"That's easier said than done," Twilight said.
"But it is doable," Rarity answered. "At least you don't have to explain to your little sister why you need to take her Hearthswarming Card and burn it. Or try to explain to your aunt that you aren't into that kind of fashion."
Twilight chuckled. "You're right. I guess it could be worse. Though I bet Shining Armor is going to tease me about it quite a bit."
"Probably. Siblings tend to do that. Nearly every year Sweetie Belle reminds me to make sure I cover up when I get my picture taken." She glanced at the clock. "It is starting to get late. I should probably go back to my room. Again, I really am sorry that I let this happen."
"Don't worry about it," Twilight said. "I know it was an accident, and things like this happen. I just wish it hadn't happened to me. You're right, and it'll probably blow over pretty quickly. I just wish it would be over already."
"Hopefully it will be," Rarity said. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight." Twilight stared silently at the door for a few moments. Then she got up, and headed for bed. "Seriously, 'Princess Titlight'? That's the best they could do?"
Author's Note
I tried to think of a good ponified name for The Streisand Effect, but I couldn't come up with anything, so I didn't reference it directly.
Also, yes, the Hearthswarming Card bit is a Seinfeld reference.
And holy shit I wrote something that isn't porn and that doesn't have Futa in it what is the world coming to? I do plan to write some of that shit in the near future though.
