It was a cold day in December. The night sky hovered over the evening moon. Princess Luna was enjoying a nice slice of coffee cake from the royal kitchen and was currently watching the moonlight shine above. It tasted absolutely heavenly with the crumbled sugar that was on top. Perfect to enjoy for this time of night when one is not so awake. There was a chilly wind that swayed against her mane and it gave her an uncomfortable shake. Luna then decided that the cold air was not worth enough to endure. She closed the large windows and settled herself against the warmth of her room. The cake was about completely eaten and she threw it in her mouth with one bite to finish it off. Giving her a nice amount of a buzz from the caffeine interwoven in the pastry, she decided it wasn’t just time to give the day a rest. There was still some things that could be done.
While everypony was dreaming their little heads off. Sleeping against the cushion of their own beds. Luna returned to the kitchen and prepared some coffee from the coffee maker. She poured the much needed sustenance as it went into the cup. It was hot and pitch black, perfect for what she wanted. Now, Luna exited the castle and flew up to the sky. She watched the moon, and somehow, not even a warning came from below. No pony even wondering or yelling to warn others of the impending threat that was about to hit them. With a gulp of the drink down her gullet; the show was about to start. The earth began to shake and the Princess gave a big smile as the moon came closer to Equestria.
“Oh my, this coffee is a little hot. Might ruin this moment for me”, she said "I better get some more, wouldn't want this whole thing to be ruined..."
The moon paused down from it’s position, nearly hitting Equestria from the billions of miles it fell to get there. She went back into the kitchen and dropped the hot coffee down the drain and got some more that she filled from the coffee pot. Then, she went back outside, flared her magic and the moon came flying down at full force. Princess Luna took another sip and gave a cheerful giggle at the taste, it was absolutely perfect. Then, Princess Celestia came to her sister in an instant, confused to what was happening.
“Luna, What is all this what have you done!?” she said.
The coffee sipping goddess merely pointed at the massive structure about to make impact. Celestia flared her horn, but it was too late. At that moment, the moon completely eradicated Ponyville and caused a quick shock wave that devastated everything. Celestia screamed from the force and flew uncontrollably for miles. Luna just watched with excitement as the blast would destroy everything.
And with that, nearly half of Equestria was completely disintegrated. A mass of debris went outward through the atmosphere. The burnt in half corpse of Celestia floated through space with a expression of terror. Luna smiled on a rock as the third-degree burns singed her senses. Yet, she somehow let loose a smile against the coolness of space.
“Totally worth it”, she said with a weak gasp.
Then with one final flare of her horn. Luna teleported to her sister’s dilapidated corpse and started masturbating on her gigantic horn. She gasped with each hump with her skin causing immense pain and yet, she couldn’t help but do it anyway. From afar the broken piece that once was Equestria now was basically like a jawbreaker broken off from the side. Screams could be imagined from Luna’s mind as she creamed all over Celestia’s charred horn.
Discord then appeared amongst the two damaged horses, and laughed hysterically.
“Wow, Luna, I can’t believe you went through with it.” he said with a snide. “I can’t believe you actually went for our bet… high five!”
Luna raised her hoof and smacked it against his claw, to which she reeled back from the pain.
“Alright Discord, give me those five bucks you owe me”.
From his cartoonishly created pockets, he pulled five US Dollars and swiftly handed it to Luna for a job well done.
“Well alright, with that done, I’ll be going to another universe to mess around with, ta-ta”.
With that, he dissipated out from this plain of existence. Luna cheered with her newly earned five dollars and reeled in agony when she tried to flex her hooves. Then, she sighed and realized what she had just achieved.
“Celestiadamnit”, She said.
Luna then magically teleported herself through time, right before the destruction of Equestria. Her burnt skin and body arrived just in time before her past self was about to start the spell that would cause doom too all. Luna looked at the hairless, toasted future Luna before her and watched.
“Don’t do it, I’ll pay you in five dollars if you do”, she said desperately.
The past Luna went up to her imminent future and took the dollars from her hooves.
“Sweet, now I can buy more coffee to drink, thanks future me”.
She sighed and went limp to the ground, before the corpse faded out of existence. Reality destroying any trace of that future.
“Hah, I always make the best decisions”
She sipped her coffee, watching the moon up high as everypony slumbered.
And then she started laughing without remorse or control while her moon light shined down. No pony would ever know or even bother with what transpired. It was just a blur that would never come to the light. Luna then stopped chortling, stayed there sipping her coffee without a peep afterwards. The silence would be enough respite for what had happened.
And for that she was happy. As any other pony could possibly be at what occurred.
