Zap Apple Pie

Rainbow stumbled over some hay in the delivery room and gawked at the scene before her.  Three bales were broken open and piled around the room, making it feel more like the barn than a hospital room.

        “Uh, Doc, what’s with all the hay and straw?” Rainbow asked as she entered the room and kicked some from her path.

        “You requested a traditional earth pony delivery, Mrs. Dash.  Remember?” the doctor suppressed a chuckle.

        “Yeah,” Rainbow’s voice cracked as she looked back to the doorway and past the or to her four best friends, Quill, and Applejack. “But, I thought it meant I’d be delivering standing up, not in a bunch of snacks.”

        The doctor moved aside to let Applejack and Quill in while the others gathered at the threshold whispering amongst themselves, Pinkie held her comments simply beaming with excitement.

        “Now, Ah guess I coulda been a little more straight with ya.  An Apple does tradition the right way, not the modern way.  So, yer gonna be delivering here.”  Applejack gestured around the small room that was clear of all modern medical supplies, like beds.

        “AJ, can’t I get a couple clouds?  Ya know Ah need a couple ta keep comfortable,” Rainbow said moving to the center of the room and looking around again.  Applejack and Quill chuckled. “Ya knew, didn’t you, Quill?”

        “Well, I might’ve read a bit about it and put two and two together…”

        Rainbow frowned at Quill, then Applejack.  “Ya know, if… Agck,” she nearly collapsed as a pain shot through her side again, this time wrapping around her belly and stinging her back. “Please, doc, get ‘er out.”

        The doctor chuckled.  “Now, now.  We can’t just ‘magic’ the baby out.  It has to happen naturally, as we discussed and you said you’d handle ‘no prob’,” he gestured with a hoof making air quotes. “The contraction will pass and in a little while we’ll have a little baby for you to ‘hang out’ with.”

        Rainbow ignored him and focused on Applejack as the pain slowly died away.  “Whew, Fritter.  That, was intense.  I think that was the worst of them,” Rainbow panted and stood tall again. Her wings ruffled and flapped, sending some dust into the air.

        “Okay, ladies, time to go.  She needs her space,” Doctor Horse said to the mares in the doorway, “I’ll keep you abreast of the event, but know she’s in good hooves.”

        With shouts of encouragement the four mares reluctantly left to the waiting room.  “Um, I guess I should go, too,” Quill hesitated.

        “Ah’ll have no such thing. Yer a part’a this family, too.  Yer stayin’ put, so pull up a pile’a hay and rest up.”

        Quill smiled widely and hugged Applejack.  “I’m so glad to be with you.”

        “What about me?” Rainbow asked as she walked to the hugging mares.

        “We’re happy you’re here too, Rainbow,” Quill said as she opened a foreleg.

        “Mares, please,” Doctor Horse said clearing his throat, “let me check on my patient.”  For the next minute, Rainbow was poked, rubbed, and pressed in ways that more annoyed her and gave her cramps than anything else.  “And, there we are.  You’re really in labor, but it’s up to baby to know when it’s time.  I suggest ordering some food,” he looked to the mares sternly, “no eating the bales.”

        The mares laughed as the doctor smiled.  “I’ll leave you three alone for a little while.  The nurse will check on you periodically.  If you have any concerns just call out the door and somepony will be here, okay?”

        The mares nodded and he took his leave.

        “So, now what?” Quill asked as she went to a pile of hay and laid on it.

        The pile exploded, sending hay and straw across the room.  Pinkie grinned eerily wide. “I say we get this pre-birthday party started!”  Pinkie threw her forelimbs up, raining confetti and streamers across the mares who were huddled in shock.

        Quill sighed and calmly spoke to Pinkie.  “...Pinkie, I’ll ask you once to leave and not come back into this room, the window, peeking through some keyhole, whatever you do until we call you back in, or I’ll shove a storm cloud in your bedroom and let it rain for a day.”

        Pinkie laughed it off. “Oh, Quill.  You’re so silly.  My room’s been waterproofed for weeks.”

        “Don’t push it,” Quill frowned as Applejack stood up and pointed to the door while scowling.

        “Ugh, fine.  You’re gonna miss out on one great pre--”

        “GET THE BUCK OUT, PINKIE!” Quill shouted.  Pinkie’s enthusiasm deflated and she wilted, mane and body.  Nodding slightly and slinking to the door, opening it without looking back, and closing it softly, the three were alone again.

        Applejack looked to Quill but was stopped by a hoof held up. “Don’t start with me, she has no reason to rush poor Dashie into labor.  And a party in the delivery room?  No.  Just, no.”

        Applejack sighed and looked to Rainbow, who was laying on a pile of hay and resting. “Sugarplum, ya doin’ okay?”

        “Yeah,” Rainbow replied, “just getting tired.  I think this’ normal, right?  Right?!  Oh no,” she lifted her head and looked at the door with intent, “this isn’t normal, I need the doctor!”

        “Woah, Nelly…” Applejack placed her forehooves on Rainbow and pushed her back down into the hay. “Yer fine.  Ah asked Twilight fer that book on babies and this’ normal.  Yer gonna get tired so snack while we wait and Ah’ll be here,” she looked over to Quill, “we’ll be here for ya all the way.”

        Rainbow relaxed and fell back to her side, sighing heavily. “You’re right.  Everything’s fine.  Everything is fine.  Nothing is wrong.  I’m just overreacting again.”

        “Darn right,” Quill added as she trotted to Rainbow’s other side and placed her hooves on the cyan mare’s back, kneading lightly. “You need to relax to get through this.  Worst case it takes an hour, right?”

        Applejack gave Quill a look while Rainbow moaned a content sigh.

        “Oh yeah, Quill.  A little back, toward my tail… AH!  Yeah, that’s it…” Rainbow sighed and smiled as she began to doze.

        “Quill, why’d ya go and say that?” Applejack asked in a whisper, leaning over Rainbow Dash.

        “I just don’t want her to worry.”

        “It can take a few hours, not one.  Ya can’t lie ta her like that,” Applejack scolded.

        “I know, but can’t you understand why I did it?”

        “...Yes,” Applejack leaned back and placed her forehooves on Rainbow’s belly, feeling the foal move slightly. “And I’m not mad, just don’t do it again.”

        Quill nodded her purple head and resumed her massage.

Rainbow snored softly and the mares stopped their attention of Rainbow, sitting and enjoying the silence for a moment.

“Ah, ah, ah, ah, ouchie!” Rainbow sat up and pressed her hoof to her side and grit her teeth, hissing in pain as another contraction sent sharp pain through her back half.  “Ouch… almost over…” Rainbow squeezed her eyes shut and waited while Quill began another back massage and Applejack started to sing a soft country song to Rainbow.

The contraction passed and Rainbow fell back to her side.  “This sucks… Why’d I let you get me pregnant?”

Applejack cleared her throat but said nothing as Rainbow stared into space and enjoyed the attention her body was receiving.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

“So, Mom, can we skip the boring stuff and get ta where ya named me?  Ah really wanna know!”

        “Well,” Rainbow floated around the room while she pondered, “Ah guess I can skip some of the details and get to the end.  Short version.”

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

        “OH CELESTIA!  OUCH, AHH!” Rainbow screamed and stood, beginning to stumble through the hay and around the room. “Ouch, ouch, owie, ouch!  Ah, it won’t stop, AJ.  Get the nurse, I need drugs or something to numb the pain.

        Quill flew to the door. “I gotcha covered, Dash!”  She left the room and returned a few seconds later with Nurse Tenderheart in tow. “She’s in a lot of pain, I think she’s-”

        “Mrs. Apple?” The nurse asked Rainbow as she quickly met Rainbow mid stride.

        “I’m Rainbow… Dddash,” she whispered and bared her teeth.

        “Another contraction?  How far apart?” The nurse asked Applejack.

        “She’s been like this fer a good while now.  Must be minute, at least.”

        “Well, that’s good.  Great, actually!  Has her water broken?”

        “No water, need pain gone,” Rainbow said as she stumbled into a pile of hay and lied down.

        “Sorry, Mrs. Dash, you requested no medicine since ‘this’d be a piece of cake’,  remember?”

        Rainbow shot the nurse a look of desperation crossed with pained rage. “Get me something!”

        The nurse smiled warmly and backed away, out of Rainbow’s reach. “I’m sorry, it’s too late.  You’re in active labor, Rainbow.  I’ll get the doctor.”

        Rainbow lunged and landed on her hooves, but well short of the mare.  “Dangit… OUCH!”

        A minute later Doctor Horse entered the room and went straight to Rainbow, who was standing again.

        “Doc, give me something,” she pleaded, “I’m gonna die!”

        “You’ll do no such thing, Rainbow Dash.  I can see you’re ready to deliver.”

        Rainbow trembled and shook her head.

        “We’re here, Rainbow.  We’re here,” Quill consoled Rainbow as Rainbow started to cry openly.

        Rainbow trotted forward on instinct and bore the pain as her water broke, the moment she had looked forward to and dreaded was here.

            “Wow, that's why we're called dams,” Quill quipped to no one's amusement.  She redirected her attention back to Rainbow.

        “Here we go,” Doctor Horse said, beginning to follow Rainbow and watch under her tail. “Nurse, prepare the blankets.”

        Nurse Tenderheart went to a small dresser and got two towels ready and some blankets while Rainbow roared in pain.  A contraction like no other sent her to her knees and crying.  Applejack and Quill sided Rainbow and hugged her tightly as she began to deliver her first child.

        “We have two hooves, and two fine legs!” Doctor Horse said.  “And… here’s the head, we’re almost there, can you feel the baby wiggling out?”

        “Oh, Celestia it’s awful!  Get it out!” Rainbow shouted as she began to stand again, walking a couple shaky steps.

“Stay calm, it’s totally normal.  The baby’ just anxious to see you.”

She collapsed into a pile of hay, her body free of the life she had grown within her.

        A baby cried softly at first, then louder as Doctor Horse cleaned it up. “You have a son, Miss Dash.”

        Rainbow winced from pain in her belly and fell asleep before she could see her son.  Quill and Applejack stood over the bundled baby, looking him over and sighed. Quill sniffled and turned her face away.

        “Quill, ya okay?”

        “Lime, Applejack, he’s got her colors.”

        Applejack reached and picked him up, nuzzled him and flinched as he began to wail.  “We already decided a long time ago, Quill.  His name’ll be Lime.  In memory of Lime… but he’s got more to him, Ah can see,” Applejack said looked at the crying colt in her forelimbs.  A tear left her eye, “he’s got a dash a Lime in him, fer sure.  And his Mom’s spirit.  Listen ta that cry.”

        Quill leaned closer to the colt and nuzzled him, causing him to calm down. “Dash ‘a Lime...  The perfect name for him.”

        Applejack smiled and leaned over, kissing Quill on the cheek. “Ah love it.”

        Doctor Horse nodded to the nurse and bid a quiet farewell to the mares and left while the Nurse took the foal to Rainbow’s breasts and let him have his first drink.  Applejack and Quill laid on their bellies and watched the foal, holding each other and holding back tears.

        A few seconds later Rainbow awoke, groggily lifting her head and looking around with blurry eyes. “What?  How?  When?” she asked and looked to the foal drinking from her and sobbed. “I… I did it?  I’m, a mom, for real?” she asked Quill.  With a nod as a reply Quill moved to pick up the foal and gave him to Rainbow.

            The foal whined as his first meal was interrupted.

        Rainbow sighed, cooed at the sleeping foal and kissed him on the head. “Hey, glad ya made it out, ouch,” Rainbow winced at a small contraction, “I… AJ, I love him,” Rainbow said softly, holding the colt to her chest softly.

        “The pain will continue until your body’s clear of everything, Mrs. Dash.  I’ll be over there if you need anything,” Nurse Tenderheart said softly, going to start paperwork.

        Rainbow nuzzled the colt and sniffed him, taking in his scent. “Did we name him?” she asked.

        “Yup.  Dash ‘a Lime,” Applejack softly said as she lay next to Rainbow, nuzzling the mare and trading a kiss.

        “I love it, AJ.  It’s the perfect name for the perfect baby.  I love you so much, AJ,” Rainbow said nuzzling the colt again and laying down.  “Dash ‘a Lime.  I,” she yawned, “love it.  Next time it’s a pegasi birth,” she whispered as she fell asleep.

        “Next time?” both mares related aloud, looking to one another, then back to Rainbow Dash.  The mare was cuddling the foal against her neck gently, humming a nameless tune as she slept.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

        “Eeew!  Ah asked fer none ‘a the gross stuff,” Little Dashie complained.

        “Yeah,” Whispy agreed, “that was gross!”

        “Well, now you know what to expect, little lady.  It took eighteen hours for him to come outta me.  Almost a day of pain and a lifetime of love. You’re lucky I told you the gross bits, I didn’t know anything about it all until I was way older.”

        Whispy looked between her Mom and Mama. “Wait, that’s gonna happen to me?!”

        “And me?!” Little Dashie asked.  The mares laughed.

        “Yes to Whispy, no to you.  You’re gonna be the cause of it, and no matter what, she’ll love you through it all,” Quill said returning to the room and landing next to Little Dashie, giving him a nuzzle and draping a wing over his back.  “Isn’t that right, young stallion?”

        “And now ya know how ya got yer name,” Applejack added, “almost bed time!” she clopped a hoof on the floor in finality.

        “Yes, Ma’am.  Uhm, c-can I have a drink before bed?” he asked and yawned, sending yawns across the room from every other pony.

        “Reckon it’s neigh on time fer little colts and fillies ta get ta bed, ta bed Ah said,” Applejack sing songed.

        “Yeah,” Rainbow agreed with Applejack, “Quill, ya good ta put Little Dashie ta bed while I get Whispy?”

        “I don’t have a problem with that at all,” Quill stood and contracted her wings.  “C’mon, let’s hustle, I wanna have a talk with Mom and Mama.”

        “Yes, ma’am.”

        Applejack nodded to the colt and began to clean the slight mess that was made, reorganize the blankets, and make the couch presentable while the children were tucked into bed.

        “Ah swear, life can’t get any better,” Applejack said to herself, “and Ah’ve gotta have a talk about the messy details in her stories.”