Life in the Mushroom, and the Flower Girl

by Raw Cringe

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Adventure
Length: 1311

Life in the mushroom is not all bad.

Life in the mushroom is not all bad.

In this tale I go into town to meet a girl.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-11-21 20:50:01 UTC

Life in the Mushroom, and the Flower Girl

I wake up in the mushroom and it is a normal day. Smells like mushroom.

Mistress is in the corner. She hangs in her web. The smoke is a little thick with the tobacco, it is Mistress's hookah which she is smoking from. The samovar smells too of the strong tea. Overall it is at least three strong smells.

The clouds of the smoke make it hazy in the mushroom. The hookah looks a little like Mistress, except it has more color. I roll off of the pile of gills and I try to awaken my mind, which is hazy. The tattoo on my forehead itches.

Mistress shakes a little in her web. She is pretty big and heavy. It shakes the mushroom a little bit, and spores like snowflakes descend delicately.

"Ah, Good-For-Nothing. You're finally awake. You have work to do today."

Mistress gives me work to do every day so I knew that she would also give me some work to do today.

"Yes, Mistress," I say.

"Here," she says, and pours me a cup of the strong tea. It is frightfully strong and I don't like to drink it. "Drink some tea and wake up, Good-For-Nothing. Today's work is important."

"Yes, Mistress," I say, and I lower my head to the saucer. I try to drink the strong, smelly tea as quickly as I can.

Mistress has a lot of the bugs in her web. I am glad that Mistress lives here with me. No one would eat the bugs if not for her. I would be all alone and then my mushroom would become infested by bugs if Mistress ever abandoned me.

It is not all bad, living in the mushroom.

"Last night was the new moon," says Mistress.

I pay attention. I know the new moon has some magic in it.

"I performed a haruspicy," she says, and her chelicerae twitch a little. "If I send you into town today, you will meet a mare with flowers."

I feel the blood come into my head, and I look at the ground and keep drinking the tea. Mistress puffs her tobacco and exhales.

"Those flowers will be my undoing."

My chest tightens and my eyes twitch. I finish the tea and look outside. I see the loam, and the mossy wood clumps, and I watch the tall blades of brachiaria and crabgrass bend in a burst of wind. I realize I am hungry.

Mistress stares at me. "You must go into town, Good-For-Nothing, and meet the flower girl. Steal her flowers and dispose of them. That is your work for today."

I meet her eyes. "Yes, Mistress."

"All right. Get going. And remember to be back by sundown."

I put on my horseshoes and go out from the mushroom. The tattoo on my forehead burns, and I grow larger with each step.

At the edge of town it is almost noon, and I am still hungry. I think about getting food. I hear the sound of a creek nearby, and I decide I will try it.

I follow the sounds of the water until I see the stream. I bend my neck and drink the water, and I feel nice. I hear a lot of sounds. Wind pulls a light coating of sweat from my hair. I see my reflection in the water, and behind it, the sky.

I have a thought. No one is looking, so I decide it doesn't matter.

I wade into the shallow water and lay down. I roll around and splash a little, and I get all wet. It is fun. The cool water feels good on my body on a warm day.

I stand back up and shake myself off a little. Then I spy a nice-looking stone, parting the stream of the water. It is round and pale and smooth and it is about the size of my head. The sun sparkles against it and it is pretty. I pick it up in my left foreleg and I get back onto the dry land.

There are trees all around. I look at a few of the trees until I find a blooming acacia that has a lot of shady leaves and low branches. I carry myself and the nice sparkling stone up carefully into the tree, one hoof at a time. The wind blows and rustles the leaves, making a loud white noise. That is good.

I find a spot in the tree and I look up to see the sky, but there are too many leaves. I think it would be nice to fly around in the clouds like a pegasus pony. I look down again and I daydream about the sky and I wait.

I hear a rustling below. A rabbit comes into sight. It nibbles around below me. It does not see me. The pale stone is in my hooves.

I throw the stone but miss the rabbit. It runs away. My stomach rumbles.

I swear out loud. I have wasted a lot of time. I jump out of the blooming acacia and land on my hooves.

As I land I hear a short squeal. I look up from my landing and I see the rabbit. It is attached to a pegasus mare. The mare has a basket of flowers. She sees me, and blinks. The rabbit writhes and gesticulates wildly.

I look at the pegasus, and I step forward.

She steps back a little, and looks around. Then she speaks.

"H-Hello!" she says. "You gave me a fright, jumping out of the tree like that. I thought you might be a monster!" She gives a nervous laugh, and looks a little more closely at me.

"I'm sorry I frightened you," I say. I eye the basket of flowers and the rabbit. "Does that rabbit belong to you?"

"Um, yes!"

The rabbit thumps his foot on the pegasus mare's rump.

"W-wait, I mean, no," she continues. "I mean, he doesn't really belong to me, more like, he's a friend who lives in my house and eats my food... And, and does things! For me! Things like... brushing my hair after a bath..." She looks at the rabbit with a sheepish grin. "And, um..."

The rabbit seems unflattered.

The pegasus stands up straight and looks me in the eye, with a bright beaming smile. "And other things, too!"

"I see," I say. "I apologize, then."

"Apologize? For what?" she says.

"For trying to eat your rabbit." I look her in the eyes, and she looks into mine, and I see a little of the sky in her eyes.

The pegasus traces over my words with her lips, silently. A look of puzzlement followed by bewilderment. "You were... trying to eat my rabbit?" she says, slowly.

"Yes," I say. "I am hungry. I apologize again." I sit down on my flanks.

"Hungry..." The pegasus furrows her brow. "I—here," she says, and pushes the basket of flowers toward me. "Eat these."

I look at the flowers. Monk's cress, bright orange. I remember the job given me by Mistress. I think that eating the flowers will destroy them as much as anything. I also think I want to be nice to this pegasus mare.

I taste the monk's cress, and it sparks in my mouth.

"I've never eaten flowers before," I say. "But these are good." I begin digging in.

"You've never eaten flowers?" She says it like it is crazy. "You're not from around here, are you?"

I look up and swallow a mouthful. "I live in the forest, a few miles west of here," I say. "In a mushroom on a log."

The pegasus stares at me with an intense curiosity mixed with incomprehension. "What's your name?" she manages at last, softly.

"My name is Good-For-Nothing," I say.