My mother always told me, ‘If you love something, set it free’.
I had never expected that something such as that would be so painful, so hard to cope with. I never thought it would be as bad as this. Not for me.
Especially not for me.
Brushing my bright pink mane out of my eyes, I fake a grin as she steals a glance at me for reassurance. She is scared, too. But, unlike me, even her fear is beautiful.
That Sparkle that she used to have still shines as bright as ever.
Her dress flows behind her, a tint of purple among the massive expanse of white marble. She is levitating the most beautiful bouquet of flowers. I squint my eyes to get a better look. Violets, just like the color of her eyes. She is carefully trying to avoid the rose petals that a certain orange filly had scattered around before her. The smell of lavender perfume rings through the air, but I can only wonder why she decided to use it. Her natural smell is so much better.
A murmur runs through the crowd as the mare finally reaches her place next to her lover.
I cringe at the word. Lover.
Even the Princesses were here. Both, this time. They couldn’t miss her wedding, could they?
Princess Celestia was even the priestess. Though she was not of the royal family, Princess Celestia insisted on showing up in only the most 'fitting' role. I was there when she said that, too. She looked just as much in denial as I did. Letting your most faithful student go must be hard, huh? I bet it isn't as hard as losing your love for the final time.
The other mare gave a faint smile at her bride.
I don’t think anypony can say that she isn’t beautiful.
Her dress, though obviously not as beautiful as the unicorn’s, is beautifully made, a rainbow of color. No, really. The beginning of the spectrum is at her midsection, and it spins in a spiral of color all the way to the ends of her hind legs. The way her dress intervenes with her natural colors is very flattering to her already sleek body.
Honestly, who hadn’t had a crush on her at some point? Mare or stallion, that gorgeous body, that luscious spectral mane, it was very hard not to feel some sort of need to be around her. Even I had had some small crush on her when I had first met her. But that’s long gone now, replaced by my lust for her.
***
It took us all by surprise when they, the bookworm and the jock, were engaged and ready to plan a wedding.
I hadn’t even known.
They hadn’t even told me that they were dating until near the end. They had kept it all a secret from us. From their best friends. They didn’t tell us until they were already in a relationship. I felt like an idiot, not seeing the signs, not finding out for myself. They told us that we would doubt them, would see them differently as a result. They should have known that we wouldn’t have done that. I was torn up inside, but I kept a smile on my face and asked if they would like a party. Though I desperately didn’t want to, I needed to be there for the unicorn.
In case of the inevitable break-up situation.
But, of course, with my luck, that never happened.
Remembering this forces even me to chuckle slightly.
They even asked us to plan the wedding.
I was to be in charge of the after party. ‘Who else?’ I remember her saying. She had told me that I would be perfect for the job. I can’t say she was wrong.
Just for her, it’ll be the best after party the world has ever seen.
***
Everything’s set up now, in the other room that the brides are sure to walk into after the wedding. It will take them completely by surprise. The balloons, the banner, the streamers, all perfectly aligned unlike any party I have ever thrown before. I honestly don’t think I have ever put this much work into something.
Rarity was to make the dress and do her mane. She had been in and out of the boutique, completely running on coffee. Rarity would call her almost every day to measure a new piece of fabric, or try on the works. I remember just how beautiful she looked when she came out, her mane still slightly curled.
Applejack was to make the cuisine. As much as I wanted to take on a second role of making sweets for her 'big day', she wanted a healthier meal. Some apple pies, to be exact. And you could only get that from Applejack. Not from some old baker like me, no matter how much I desperately wanted to help.
Fluttershy was to do the music. I see her right now, watching her birds and nodding once in awhile to one of them to play a different note. They are so well trained, however, that the individual nods are few and far between. Her bird choir was unmistakably the best in all of Equestria, and I’m sure the brides are proud to have her as a friend. I know I sure am.
I begin to daydream, to pretend that this was my wedding. Mine and hers.
***
It would be beautiful, a whirlwind of color, mainly purple and pink, spreading all the way across the church. Sometimes, just like this, I wish I had gotten to her first. I smile as I realize that that could have never happened anyway. A scholar like her would have never gone for a baker like me. I would just slow her down.
I slow everything down.
***
I feel a sharp jab on my side as Rarity breaks me from my daydream. I was about to hiss at her in pain before I remembered that that’s not what ‘I’ do. Not how I compose myself. I give her a wide, playful grin before I realize why she jabbed me.
They are about to say their vows.
I hear Celestia begin. She stutters in her words for a few moments, resistant of letting her most faithful student go to another mare. I take a long, deep breath and brace myself for the impending sadness that awaits me.
I begin to process a thought that had been with me for almost the entire day. It was almost over.
Tomorrow, I could lock myself in my room, and cry until I run out of tears. I could cry out for a multitude of things. Forgiveness, happiness, another chance. But tomorrow, I will cry for her.
Tomorrow, I could drown myself in the never-ending abyss of sorrows that surround me.
Tomorrow, I could finally rip the mask I wear in half, even if only for a day, and watch it shatter on the ground in front of me.
It is a theatre mask, the bright, happy one that shields the sad, broken one. If that first mask shattered in front of me, all that would be left is the broken mirror that makes up my inner self.
I really hate that mask, but it is what must be worn.
And right now, I had to be there for her, more than ever. No matter what my heart told me, no matter what mask I had to put over my feelings, I had to be there.
I had to keep that mask on.
I would do it for her. Of course I would. Seeing her smile makes my life light up again, even if only for a moment. Her smile is twice as bright as any other pony’s that I ever will see.
I would do it for her as well, the mare that stole her away. She is my best friend, after all. I can’t get mad at her for stealing her away. She hadn't known anything. I had kept the box that is my heart just as locked around her as around any other or our friends. When I remember all the pranking that we did together, I can’t help but smile.
I would do it for myself, as well. For one last day.
Just one.
But it’s always one more for me. I need to wear this mask. It has become a part of me, a previously unneeded part that I hate with all of my heart. But it does its purpose to this day.. If they found out about me, the real me, they would run away. They would be scared of me, I am sure of it. They would never see me again.
After that, there I would lie. Forgotten.
But after today, that will be just fine for me.
So, today is a special day, for them and for me. Today is the day I will finally be set free from the chains that bind me to this mask.
And it was there that I decided it, as the two brides both said their ‘I do’s’.
Today, I would hide my constant frown yet again from the world.
Today, I would be the bright and cheerful pony that Ponyville knows and loves.
Today, I would be Pinkie Pie.
***
We are about to go into the room. That room. The one that proves that it is over.
She walks over to me, smiling just as bright as she always does.
For the first time in my life, the smile I give back is real.
