The Adventures of Berry Punch

by PaintedNovel455

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Crossover, Berry Punch, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Romance
Length: 2339

Berry Punch is an alicorn. Drama ensues.

Berry Punch was recently become crowned princess. She took the liberty of reigning over all things alcohol, however every now and again she has to face the hate and drama that comes with such power. Many ponies believe she is unfit for the title, being an alcoholic. But she won fair and square, now it's time to buckle down for the wild ride.

Teen for very slight and mild cursing like: damn. The Sex tag is only for one a few chapter and never actually shows sex.

Published 2016-10-03 01:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2017-02-27 04:30:27 UTC

AlicornSitter!

Author's Note

Mainly just a side story to get the story going and ideas flowin.' It took a lot of tries to find a good way to start the series. I don't really care if you like it or not, I won't cry...too hard.:derpytongue2:

AlicornSitter!

Berry Punch was just wandering the many corridors of Canterlot Castle. She had just become an alicorn. And still, Berry did a double take as she walked past a mirror. The castle was alive as usual. Everypony had somewhere to be, expect Berry Punch of course.

After a few minutes of walking, Berry Punch reached her room. She set her crown on the table and smiled. “A new day is on horizon!” She thought to herself. It was around noon, so she could take a nap.

Berry slipped into her bed, and rested her head on the pillow. Later she fell asleep. The next morning she took the train to Ponyville…

Berry Punch had just unpacked, she stored her crown in a floorboard under her bed. Along with other treasures. Colgate her roommate and best friend from school, came into her room.

“Hey… You free today?” Colgate asked. It was obvious that she needed something.

“No,” Berry said, popping the cork to a wine bottle that she was holding and took a swig.

“Aww come on please,” Colgate begged.

“What is it?” Berry asked.

“Okay I just need you to foal sit a few foals,” Colgate said.

“Why can’t you do it?”

“Cause’ I, I mean, well you see. I have a concert to go to,” Colgate admitted.

Berry rolled her eyes and took another sip. She swished it around in her mouth, “alright. I’ll do it.”

“THANKS, come on Dan! She said yes!!” Colgate said running off.

“Dan?” Berry ran over in time to see a stallion walking off with Colgate. Berry headed downstairs to fix herself some breakfast and watch TV. It was black and white in Equestria. Around 1:00 the doorbell rang.

Berry walked over to the door and opened it. There was a Mom with a bit more than a FEW foals. There was around 10 children.

“Hello dear, I’m Daisy. This is Pound Cake, Pumpkin Cake, Lighting Shine, Tarry, Rainbow Droplet, Heart Attack, Azure, Sea Breeze, and Bitter Sweetleaf.” The Mom rushed. “I come get them at 4:00.” Daisy gave Berry a saddlebag of snacks and supplies.

“Mommy an alicorn!” Tarry sang. “Can we go flying pretty please.” The filly was around 7.

“No Sweetie--”

“FLYING, FLYING.” The foals began to chant.

“Heh,” Berry chuckled. “Come inside I have cookies.”

“Yeah!!” A gust of wind blew inside as all the foals rushed in the doorway. Berry closed the door and followed after them. Colgate left a tray of cookies in the oven. Berry levitated the tray out onto the counter, it was warm. Everyone expect Pound Cake, Pumpkin Cake, and Rainbow Droplet grabbed their own cookie. But Berry had to hand one to them.

“What games do you wanna play I have Monopoly, Spill the Beans, Game of War, Alicorn: Zero…”

“Let’s go flying!” Bitter Sweetleaf said.

“YEAH!!” The foals agreed.

“Listen, I got my wings yesterday. A-And, plus your Mother said-”

“FLYING, FLYING, FLYING” the foals chanted.

“Why Colgate, why do you hate me!” Berry said to herself. “Alright! But after one game of Monopoly!”

“YEAH!!” Berry levitated the box over to a table and set pillows all around it. Tarry sat next to her, “can you turn me! Into ah alicorn.”

“I don’t think I have that power, or permission” Berry sighed. “Only 8 pieces. Who wants to play?”

“Me!” Pound Cake, Pumpkin Cake, Lighting Shine, Heart Attack, Azure, Sea Breeze, Bitter Sweetleaf, and Tarry shouted.

Rainbow Droplet crawled into Berry’s hooves and sobbed, “I wanna play Moon-naw-pony!”

Berry chuckled to herself, “it’s alright you can watch.” Rainbow grabbed another cookie, and nibble on it.
The game of Monopoly was long and the foals, of course, got restless and squirmed in their seats. Heart Attack won the game, “YEAH! Now flyin’.”

“Oh, yeah…” Berry frowned. “Okay stay quiet. Do you know where your Mom is?”

“She went to the hardware store, then the dress store for a dress for her anniversary.” Twinkle Shine said, she was about 10.

“Perfect,” Berry said walking out the door. “Okay, Pound and Pumpkin Cake, Rainbow Droplets on my back.” They listened, “Everyone else find a spot on me.”

Big Mistake, all she ended up was getting her hair pulled and face slapped. The foals collapsed to the ground. Pound Cake took off, flying towards the sky.

“Hey,” Berry Punch said and a lavender aurora surrounded Pound Cake. That’s when every foal who could fly took off. Which was only Rainbow Droplets and Tarry but, they carried as many foals was they can. Berry ended up flying up their after them.

Since she didn’t want to leave the others alone, so she put them on her back. She didn’t realize it until she was high in the air, that they had tricked her.

They must of noticed that because they started laughing. Berry groaned and looked down, and Daisy was walked into the hardware store.

“Sssh!” Berry said and pointed at the ground.

“HI MO--” Tarry shouted but, Berry slapped her hoof over her mouth. Daisy looked around her, but went inside.

“WE are going home, NOW!” Berry ordered, and counted the foals. “Nine? Who’s missing?”

Twinkle’s eyes widened, “BITTER SWEETLEAF!!!” Berry pulled her ears back. And she flew down to the earth, Twinkle Shine shouting “weeeeeeee!”

Berry teleported behind of a stallion who was selling corn, who was in the way. Tarry, Rainbow Droplet, and Pound Cake flying in the air as they were dragged by their tails.

Berry Punch reached her house and stormed inside, Bitter Sweetleaf was passed out with Berry’s opened bottle of wine and a bottle of whiskey near her.

“NOoOooO!” Berry shouted, falling to her knees. She levitated the empty whiskey bottle to herself and turned it over, a drop came out. “That was imported from YakYakistan…”

“Seriously,” Tarry said. “You have a drinking problem.”

Berry Punch wiped around, “do not!”

“Do too!” Tarry said, sticking her tongue out.

Berry smoothed her messy hair in place, and levitated Bitter Sweetleaf into a ball. The put her in Colgate’s dentist themed bed and covered her up.

“What’s wrong with Bit-taw? Rainbow asked.

“She’s asleep” Berry said.

“I tired,” Pumpkin said yawning.

“Alright,” Berry said.

“Can we play Spill the Beans?” Heart Attack asked.

“Alright.” Berry said, levitating the wine bottle to her mouth and drinking the few drops in there. The cupboard had her stash of alcohol, she took a large cup and filled it with bourbon. She drank it in one gulp, and headed over to them. Heart attack was eating a candy bar, caked in skittles, drizzled with caramel, and speckled with chocolate drops.

“Uh… I don’t think you should eat that.” Berry tried to grab it but Heart just shoved the whole thing into his mouth. Chocolate and caramel drizzling down his lip, he quickly licked her lips.

Berry sighed and set a rubber bean in the pot. Then the other foals, Berry turned back to Heart Attack to see him eating a doughnut coated in glaze and M&M’s.

Berry snatched it and shoved it down her mouth. Yum!

“Hey,” Heart said.

“Why do you have so much candy?”

“Cause’ I have SweetJaw.” Heart said, placing her bean.

Berry levitated her bean into the pot, not taking her eyes off Heart. “What is SweetJAW?”

“I have to eat sugar to survive, it’s sorta a curse.”

“Meh, lucky.”
“Not really, everything else tastes like barf.” Heart said flatly.

The pot of beans fell over on Twinkle and everyone started laughing. It was nice, they played games and chatted. It was blissful.

At 4:00 Daisy came back. “Hello!”

“Ello,” Berry said. And the foals hurried over, “mom!”

Daisy looked around, “where’s Bitter Sweet?”

Just then Bitter came downstairs, “Mommy I have a headache…”

“What happened?” Daisy asked.

Berry bit her lip as Bitter said: “I found some juice and it was burny…”

“Burny? Like…” Daisy looked at Berry, who chuckled...again.

“YOU GAVE MY CHILD ALCOHOL!”

“Not intentional--”

“GOOD DAY!” Daisy said, storming off.

“I thought you were funny!” Tarry said, smiling… c:

AlicornNews: Why Are The Apple Trees In The Shape Of Apples?

Berry Punch stood in front the entrance to Sweet Apple Acres. She wore a fancy suit that only covered her top half. Also, there was a camera crew following her around.

Berry Punch spoke into a microphone, that levitated in front her. “Today we are at the infamous Apple Orchard. And today we investigate why all the apple trees look like apples.” Berry Punch’s camera crew followed her, as she trotted over to the barn door.

Applejack swung the top of the door open, “howdy Berry. What’s with ta camera?”

“It’s a conspiracy,” the camera stallion shouted.

“What da hay,” Applejack muttered, raising a brow.

“We’re on to you! We all know what you do to those trees,” Berry snarled. “Why are the shaped like apples?”

“Ah don’t know! Ask Celestia.”

Berry got closer to Applejack, so close that their muzzles touched. “Or is that what you want us to think. The truth shall be revealed!”

Applejack ducked away, “Ah think you’re drunk. So… Bye!” Applejack slammed the door.

Berry turned to face the camera, “see! She’s hiding something, and tonight we’re gonna figure it out. Don’t go anywhere folks, AlicornNews will be back after a word from our sponsors.

After a word from their only sponsor, We-Suck-Leaf-Blowers, Berry lead the crew over to an apple tree.

“Look! The Apple Tree is the shape of an apple! I call shenanigans,” Berry cleared her throat. “One theory I have is the work of GMO’s. GMO’s, genetically modified oranges, have been outlawed but they once were VERY popular. GMO’s make apples bright red or green. Like these,” Berry held up a shiny apple. “THIS! Is why their cider is so good! This! Is why the trees are they way they are!”

Berry held up a sign, it read: SAY NO TO GMO! She began to chant what the sign sign said for about a minute, as a hotline appeared on screen. After a few minutes the AlicornNews ended and an infomercial about necklaces came on.

Berry sighed as she flew into the living room. “Another wonderful day!”

Colgate tsked, she sat at the living room the TV on Channel Two. A reporter stood in front Sweet Apple Acres, where protesters were chanting “Say No To GMO.”

“Here we are at Sweet Apple Acres, as you can see there have been protests and riots, all in outrage after local wine-enthusiast, Berry Punch the Alicorn reported GMO use in the Apple Family products. If true then the Apple family could face up to twenty years in federal prison.” The reporter paused as stock images of Berry Punch, Applejack, and Granny Smith flashed across the screen.

And for a split second a random stallion with a big forehead appeared, his face being a recolor of Pepe the frog.

“Anyway, this is causing quite the commotion. Lester?” The reporter said. Berry sunk into the couch, mouth agape.

“Oh MY Celestia….. Did you see that stallion with the big forehead?!” Berry asked. Colgate facepalmed...sort of.

“That’s not the point, the Apple family could be arrested. We need to fly down there and straighten things up!” She said.

“But I was about to crack open a new bottle of Chocolate Milk,” Berry whined.

“Too bad, go down there and say you were joking!” Colgate said, “and do it quick. Sonic the Hedgehog is coming on at 9 o’clock.”

“Okay, come with me for support.” Berry stated, she bent down so Colgate could hop onto her back. They then shot into the air.

The Apple Orchard was hell. Hippie ponies had resided on top the barnhouse. Their vans being parked under the shade of the apple trees. Berry swore she saw Rick Astley, was she being Rick Rolled? Tree Hugger lead the resistance, she sat on a throne made of GlutenFree Wood.

Berry Punch arrived and everypony bowed to her.

“Oh Great Almighty Berry! You have saved these poor apples from the harmful GMO,”Tree Hugger said, getting of her throne to bow as well.

Berry Punch chuckled, being to sweat. “Well you see. There isn’t actually any GMO in their apples.”

“Darn tootin!” Applejack called, she had been tied upside down to a tree.

“And, I made that story up for...ratings...hehe,” Berry Punch said. The crowd gasped.

“She made us populate the air getting here, for nothing!?” A hippie stated.

“ATTACK!” Fluttershy snarled.

“Fluttershy?!” Berry and Colgate asked in bewilderment. Berry and Colgate screamed as the crowd galloped forward, Berry tore into the sky, Colgate levitating behind by her tail.

“We. Are. Screwed.” Berry said. Right then and there it would have cut to commercial, if it had been an actual TV show. However it didn’t.

“No we aren’t! What do naturist love the most?” Colgate asked.

“UH...being naked?”

“Right, so if we dress in all clothing then they’d be so offended they’d stop caring.” Berry huffed and zeroed in on her emergency stash of clothing. Why she has one you ask? Why are you asking you ask?

After Berry Punch and Colgate dressed in all clothing, they made their way out onto the street. Being spotted immediately.

“THERE THEY ARE!!” A stallion shouted.

“AND THEIR WEARING CLOTHES! EWW!” A mare stated.

Tree Hugger dropped her all-natural pitchfork, “ehh. Let’s riot somewhere else.” And the group dispersed.

“YEAH!” Berry Punch jumped up. In a flash, white text with black behind it appeared next to her, giving an 3-D, which it read: “Bad Foal.”

Colgate jumped up too, the text reading: “Ultimate Wing Mare.”

More text appeared reading, “cameo by: Rick Rolled!”

Neva gonna give you, neva gonna let ya down!

Author's Note

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTMqgv-k_eQ