Discord Spices Up Your Date

by Flutterpriest

Rating: teen
Tags: Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Second Person, Romance, Comedy, Random, Discord, Flash Sentry, Human
Length: 1134

Why in the world did you give your free will to Discord, Femanon? Couldn't you see this was a bad idea? No? Well, now that you're on a wonderful date with Flash Sentry, you find out why Discord volunteered to help you so readily.

Why in the world did you give your free will to Discord, Femanon? Couldn't you see this was a bad idea? No? Well, now that you're on a wonderful date with Flash Sentry, you find out why Discord volunteered to help you so readily.

Written because of a bet with Lise Eclaire.

A Sequel to Discord Sets Up Your Date

Published 2016-10-19 20:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-10-19 20:50:02 UTC

Don't Give Up, Anon!

You don't bother replying, wrapping your own arms round the muscular body of your first successful date. Not a bad job, Femanon, considering. Apparently dreams can come true. At this point there's only one thing left to wonder: once the fun is over and morning arrives… where will you wake up?

Wait, what?

Oh yes, that's correct, Femanon. This story isn't over. Or did you happen to forget about me? After all, I am guiding your limbs. I am your acting hand. I decide your fate.

Discord, why are you doing this to me? I finally got ONE nice thing.

Oh, what can I say? I do enjoy a good bit of fun now and then. Where were we? Ah! Right. Last we left off, you had your arms wrapped around your new love, Flash Sentry. A glorious Pegasus of the guard, now turned human by your magical powers. A questionable choice, if I do say so myself. Better not let Princess Twilight know.

Wait, what?

Don't worry about that, it's not relevent. Besides. Aren't you happy with your new stallion boyfriend? Sure, I gave you some momentary control, but I still have the power here.

... So, what now?

Now, my dear little Femanon. It's my turn to thow a bit of spice into this happy ending.

"Flash?" you say.

Wait, no! Please!

"Yeah?" he says, watching the way the sun sets on the horizon.

Your eyes move down to the grassy hill that the two of you sit on. You feel the warmth of his wing around you. You smell his natural masculine scent. The air has an edge to it's chill, but he keeps you warm and... even more importantly... safe.

"Would you still be interested in me even if I wasn't human?" you ask.

The bottom of your stomach drops. Your eyes grow wide.

DISCORD! What are you doing?!

Why, protecting you, of course? With a love as impulsive and sporatic as this one, one must take proper steps to ensure it's not superficial. This is for the best, Femanon, though you may not agree.

But... Don't you think this is chaotic enough as it is? This is already pretty bonkers.

But this is what you want? To persue a relationship with somepony who only may love you for how you look? With somepony who's using you as a rebound? Do you really hold yourself in such low esteem, Femanon? If so, we have much more urgent things to address than your love life.

Your mouth hangs slightly open as Flash turns to you in surprise.

"Wait, what? What do you mean?" he says.

"Well, I have this curious power for reasons beyond my comprehension," you begin, words spilling out of your mouth at an alarming rate. "I can mystically change into any form I want."

"Like a changeling?!" Flash says in alarm.

"Kind of," Discord volunteers for you. "But with significantly less evil involved."

Flash stares at you and a silence falls over the setting sun.

Discord, I beg you. Stop now. Let me have this.

Trust me, Femanon.

You literally are the supreme being of chaos. Why would I trust you?

I saved your life?

Oh. Right.

"So, what are you really, then?" Flash asks.

Discord cackles deep within your brain, and you feel your skin begin to grow warm. Your nails burn as they extend further and sharpen. A splitting headache bursts through your head, and the clothes begin to feel tighter around you. The air feels as if it loses it's chill and you feel as if you're about to lose the dinner in your stomach.

When you open your eyes, you look down at a deep dark fur across your whole form. Sharp sets of canines line your mouth, as well as two floppy ears and an extended nose. You look down at your hands, now replaced with two grey paws. You gasp. You feel a deep, inner part of yourself shatter as the realization overcomes you.

Oh my god, I'm a furry now.

"This is what I look like," your mouth volunteers. "I'm kind of a bit-"

"Femanon," Flash says, cutting you off from that terrible pun. "I don't care what you look like. You seem like a nice person with a caring heart. That's way more important to me than a set of claws, or the color of your fur, or what species you are. I'd love you if you were a human, diamond dog, or a pony."

A silence rings through the air, as well as your mind.

Oh.

Yeah, that was certainly unexpected.

Well, what now, Discord.

Honestly? I got nothin. He's good. I'm all done here. You can have your body back. This isn't fun anymore. Ta-ta!

Hey! Wait, are you just going to leave me to figure out how to explain that I'm not really a diamond dog?

Silence fills your thoughts as you wait for some sort of answer from the second voice that was in your head.

Well, shoot.

"Well, uh. Haha. Just... kidding. and stuff. I'm actually a human! Surprise!" you say, trying to hide an element of awkwardness from your tone.

He raises an eyebrow, clearly picking up the hesitance in your words.

"Well, okay. Sure," Flash says. "But, if you had some sort of thousand year old being that lived in your head, then we might have a problem."

You stare out to the sunset as he pulls you closer to him.

Welp. You suppose things could have been worse. You could change out of being an anthromorphic dog if you really wanted, but it's sorta like being caught with your pants down. You might as well just embrace it and move forward with the madness as if it were normal.

Besides, life is more fun that way. The sun soon fell down below the horizon, leaving the two of you to stare at the stars.

"What happens after this?" you ask him. "It's been an extremely crazy, random, unexpected twenty-four hours for me."

"I have no idea," Flash answers. "I was hoping you would help in that regard."

You rose to your hind legs and extended a paw to Flash.

"How about going back to your place and ending the night on a cuddly note. You know, take things slow."

Flash stares at you for a second.

"You changed me into your own species before changing into a Diamond Dog," he says, before taking your paw. "I wouldn't really call this 'going slow.' But, yeah. That sounds nice to me."

And with that, the two of you walked back to Flashes home, paw in hand, and had about as happy of an ending as you could have had. All things considered, that is.

Author's Note

Wut.