Derpy Hooves and the Quest for the Chocolate Muffin

by Lavaman

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random
Length: 1227

A funny and random story that is a lot better than my first one!

When Derpy finds a map in the ground, she goes on an adventure to find the chocolate muffin! This story is so random, it may make you a bit confused! This story is a lot better thatn my previous one, The Story of Gizmo.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-27 18:14:04 UTC

Finally! Some Action!

Derpy finally had reached the jungle. She was very excited because she really wanted that muffin; I mean she wanted it so badly that anyone in her way would probably end up in the hospital. Anyways, after trekking through the jungle for another boring and uneventful hour, she finally reached the temple. She then saw a whole horde of vikings guarding the temple entrance with their alien technology from another planet known as Flagnog. Derpy knew what she must do... She would do a backflip on top of one of the viking’s head and then make friends with all of them by giving them some ranch dressing. I can only sum up what happened in one word: derpydidabackflipontothevikingsheadandthengavethemranchdressingandeveryonewashappytheend. Whew! Try saying that five times fast!

After befriending all the vikings, Derpy made her way into the temple. She then met her first booby trap: Justin Bieber music. She accidentally stepped on a tile that then caused a stereo to come from the ceiling and play Justin Bieber music. A fun fact kids, JB music is actually used in war, and is a very effective weapon! Luckily, Derpy had brought ear muffs so she put those on and was happy.

After that, the temple didn’t really have any other traps. You see, at that time, the people who built the temple spent almost all of their money on building the actual temple itself. So, all they could afford was a small booby trap that played Justin Bieber music. So she then went into the next room and grabbed the chocolate muffin. She decided she wanted to look all cool in front of her friends and eat it back in Ponyville.

When she arrived back in Ponyville, she ate the muffin in front of everypony. When she took the first bite, she said eight words: “Oh my gosh! This muffin is the worst!” Apparently Derpy was allergic to chocolate, but she went to the hospital and got all better and even got a lollipop.

The End!

Moral of the Story: Always make sure that you are not allergic to any foods before you eat them!

The Quest Begins!

It was yet another fine day in Ponyville, the birds were singing, the sky was clear, and everypony was going about their usual business. Derpy was walking along minding her own business when she spotted something with her eye, stuck in the ground was an old, crumpled piece of paper. She proceeded to pick it up.

    When she unrolled the piece of paper, she found out that it was a map to a mysterious lost temple in a jungle far off in the distance. She couldn’t read it too well, so she asked somepony to read what it said. “Derpy, it says The Lost Chocolate Muffin!” the pony said shortly. Derpy new she must have that muffin!

She headed through the square in Ponyville trying to get to the path leading to the jungle. But, all of a sudden, ninjas popped out of nowhere and started to use their nunchucks and shurikens. Luckily, Derpy knew Pony Fu, and defeated the ninjas with a swift kick in the face! She then resumed her journey.

She had finally reached the path and saw that there was yet another obstacle in her way. It was the world’s largest potato that had grown in front of the path. Derpy then remembered the words of her Great Uncle Jim: “When you see a giant potato blocking your path to the lost chocolate muffin, make tater tots out of it and serve it to everyone in Ponyville,”. But then Derpy remembered that her Great Uncle Jim was just some guy she met at a restaurant and walked around the potato.

Derpy kept walking all the way until she met a fork in the path. She politely said hello to the fork and kept on walking, as it was looking for its lost friends, knife and spoon. Derpy kept walking but then kept thinking about that fork. She was like: Oh my, that fork is all lost and wants to find his friends who are also lost and may have already been eaten. Derpy knew what she must do: help the fork find his friends. Well she did, so I’m not going to go into boring detail about the epic quest she went on to find the spoon and knife, mostly because that would then make this story too long.

References and Hoboes

After that epic adventure that Derpy went on, it quickly became night. Luckily, she was able to find a hobo who said he would love to share his beans with her. The hobo put the beans on the fire, and Derpy and the hobo sang the best hobo campfire song ever. Any song was good to Derpy as long as it wasn’t Justin Bieber. After a lot of hobo campfire song singing, the beans were ready to be consumed. Derpy and the hobo enjoyed their meal quietly. After the beans were eaten, Derpy and the hobo began to fart. The farts were of all different smells; sometimes like rotten eggs and sometimes like garbage. They farted so much that the farts were beginning to sound like the song they just sang.

Anyway, Derpy and the hobo got tired really quickly and went to sleep on the ground. But they didn’t really sleep on the ground. Why is that? Well kids, horses sleep standing on their hooves, not on the ground! You’re so silly. The very next morning, Derpy left her hobo friend early to get a good start on her journey. Derpy couldn’t wait to taste the chocolate muffin. She never had one before, because she never had chocolate in her fridge at home.

After many more hours of boring and uneventful travel, Derpy reached a tall mountain. Now, you maybe thinking Oh, Derpy can just fly over the mountain! She isn’t a good flier. Oh! Well she can be very careful and hike up the mountain! Stop giving answers! What she’ll do is take the escalator. Every mountain has one.

After she climbed the mountain, she then saw that she had to ford a stream. Now, you may now be thinking Oh, this story is so uneventful and flat.  And you’re probably right. Or not, I can’t decide. I think this little argument was for the better. Anyway, she then got into a special truck whose name I won’t mention because I may get sued! So she hops into this truck and she fords the stream. You may know of the truck I’m talking about.

After she fords the stream, she then looks up into the sky and sees a beautiful rainbow. Either that or it was just Rainbow Dash. She couldn’t tell. But she followed it like the map said and at the end of it was a giant pot filled with... Gold! No! What would Derpy do with gold? It was filled with cereal. Derpy loved the marshmallows in it but hated the cereal itself. She didn’t think anyone else did either. Wow this story is very boring... Three things I must say to you, sir: One: You just rhymed! Two: If you can guess the reference I used in the last three paragraphs, you get a gold star! Three: Why are you so mean to me?