The Ponyville Colt Air Force (P-CAF)

by ShadowBrony21

Rating: teen
Tags: Button Mash, Comedy, Pipsqueak, Random, Adventure, Rumble, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Featherweight, Tender Taps
Length: 6716

Button Mash, First Base, Pipsqueak, Rumble and Tender Taps attempt to fly an aircraft armed with rubber bands and water balloons to defend the peaceful town of Ponyville. What could possibly go wrong?

Ever since the Ponyville Derby Race, The colts of Ponyville have decided to do something more interesting.
After somehow getting the required components, They build a plane that can fly (somewhat).
Follow these brave, and magnificent colts as they perform death-defying stunts on dangerous missions to defend Ponyville from... uh... no, actually they just muck around and do things ponies who value their reputation wouldn't do.

Warning: May contain mild swearing, intense flirting, high amounts of stupidity, lack of responsiblity and propaganda (Capitalist, Communist and Slight amounts of Facist). Check with your doctor if you are capable of sparing a few brain cells and are not able to die from laughter. (The latter is not-nessesary)

Published 2016-10-24 03:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-12-20 21:52:37 UTC

Prologue- Mayday

14/8/3014, 1130 hours

Outskirts of Ponyville, Equestria

Day 6

Mayday

All is well in the small town of Ponyville. Ponies were in for another day of trotting, chatting, eating and shopping on the weekends, but for a small group of colts, the day couldn't get any bigger. In a small, wooden, make-shift cabin on the outskirts of town, seven colts were making the finishing touches to their first creation, a wooden biplane powered by a smoky combustion engine of unknown origin.

"Alright Lads!" A small orange colt with an army-green officer's cap slapped onto his head boomed out to his comrades. "We are due to take-off in 10 minutes!" He looked at the small watch on his hoof. "Button! How is everything going?!" He asked, referring to a brown colt who wore a small red and yellow cap with a bent twig of plastic on top.

The colt jumped out from under the wooden contraption, before scooting over to the orange colt with a clipboard in hand. His face was cover in black from the inner workings of the machine. "Um... Eh..." The colt stuttered as he fumbled and flipped through the clipboard, searching for the correct page.

The orange colt rolled his eyes at the lack of co-ordination of the group, especially the colt standing in front of him. He sighed, then coughed to interrupt Button Mash's searching spree, catching his attention. "What did I tell you about organisation Corporal?" He asked with the sternest voice the young colt could muster, standing up as straight as he could.

"Umm... Ah... Sorry Sergeant, it's just that all my papers are in this and they tend to like to mingle with one another." Button looked down at his clipboard again and continued searching.

"Argh..." The orange colt face-palmed, "Tell me Corporal, what is the point of the clipboard having a clip?" He asked, causing the colt the stutter even more.

"But then... it all looks like one pile... and everything's in there shuffled up.... You only gave me one clipboard." The brown colt replied.

"You could just sort out the pile, Button," The orange colt continued. "For instance, recent things at the front, older things at the back, specific categories in between, and if you really want to go that far, separate them with coloured paper. Otherwise, instead of shuffling papers, you'll be juggling clipboards. Which do you think is more efficient?"

"I can learn to juggle, Juggling's fun!" Button replied, oblivious to the colt's sarcasm. "Oh! here it is!" He said grabbing out the sheet of paper and reading it.

"Finally..." The orange colt muttered.

Button cleared his throat before skimming the report and then reading it out loud.

"All is ready for take-off, few minor issues were encountered, but shouldn't stand much of a problem." He flipped the page, revealing a list which he red off.

"Ropes and plates are slightly rusty, but Snips is currently brushing the rest off."

Behind him, a short, chubby unicorn was levitating a metal brush, taking off the rust on the wing supports of the bi-plane.

"Radio frequency issues are being sorted out."

To his left, Snails was tweaking the ground radio, attempting to connect it with the plane's own.

"The some of the controls are reversed and inconsistent, but Rumble's testing them out to get used to them.

On the pilot seat of the plane sat a grey colt with goggles on, who was pulling on the controls and turning around to see their effects on the tail and wings.

"The landing gears are slightly deflated, so Tender Taps is pumping them up and giving them tests."

Below the plane was an orange colt with a purple mane pumping air into the tires and poking them with his hoof, before going at it again.

"The winds are quite unpredictable today, so Featherweight is measuring wind speeds and direction."

Outside the cabin, a slender Pegasus colt was being blown around by the wind like a toy, before settling down on his hooves and blowing him around again.

"The turret and guns are being reloaded and should be done soon enough."

On the plane, Pipsqueak was filling the 'guns' with rubber bands.

"Mum said I should be home by seven, because the fries would get cold and..."

"Button." The orange colt cut him off. "Important issues," he said, putting an emphasis on 'important'.

"But Base, she said that I could bring you guys along." The brown colt whined.

The orange colt thought to himself. "Hmm... Kinda relevant, food and rations should always be listed down."

"I think you're taking this thing too seriously," Rumble said approaching the colts.

"Hey private! Aren't you meant to be testing the controls?!" First Base questioned.

"My point exactly," The grey colt muttered to Button. "Already done them, know them like the back of my hoof."

"How do you remember the back of your hoof?" Button asked, "I can't picture it completely without looking at it." Button looked down at his hoof which he extended in front of him.

"It's a saying," Rumble told him.

"Seems like a bad one to me."

"Guys!" First shouted to get the colt's attention. "Thanks to your disorganisation, rambling and sidetracking, we only have five minutes before take-off." He glared at them both, especially at Button. "And you forgot something in your report. Why is there paint on your face?"

"Oh, um... it's 'Oil'," Button corrected. "I took care of that just then."

Meanwhile, a small piece of tape fell from under the machine, followed by a spill of black liquid all over the floor.

First Base sighed and rolled his eyes, giving Button as many hints of his disappointment as much as he could without the use of sound. The brown colt was still completely oblivious.

He finally let out a cough, attracting Button's attention, and addressed Button.

"Button Mash. You have proven to me that you are incompetent, stupid, forgetful, inefficient, oblivious and extremely, extremely innocent And... clueless. You are almost useless besides the tools and equipment you provide us with, and I wouldn't give a second thought of not discharging you from service if not for that. Due to these reasons, I am hereby demoting you, Corporal Button Mash, to a Lance Corporal." He swiped off Button's rank slide and replaced it with another.

"Hey! I worked hard for that chevron!" Button cried out.

"Well, now you don't deserve it," First Base replied. "Besides, the first chevron you had was just given to you."

"Fine! I'll trade this chevron for the one I earned!" Button firmly stated.

"What's the difference?"

"The other rank slide's chevron is the one I earned, this one." He pointed at the slide in his hoof, "is the one a got for free. If you leave me with this chevron, I forget be reminded of the horrible mismatch of my unearned chevron."

"Unearned? is that even a word?" Rumble asked.

First Base grunted in frustration and yelled, "Shut up! Whatever, fine! Give me that slide, and I'll give you your stupid chevron; by shoving it right up your..."

"Sergeant! We are ready for take-off!" Snips interrupted.

"Radio is connected!" Snails added.

"Oh good!" First Base cried out in relief. "At least some ponies are productive, maybe Snips and Snail should be my new Corporals."

"But I thought I was a good Corporal!" Button cried out.

"You were." First Base replied.

"I think you are taking this rank thing too far Base," Rumble said, stepping into the conversation as Button sat on the ground and wept from the lost of his position.

"What?! Just because Button sits down and starts crying means we should call this whole thing off."

"It's just that it is really confusing and doesn't really make all too much sense," Rumble continued. "For instance, I'm a private, but on the plane, I'm the pilot and captain. So I can command you in flight, but you can command me in ground."

"So what? That seems fine."

Rumble sighed and continued. "Another example is Featherweight. He is a Corporal, but he is not in charge of anypony as all of us are under Button." Rumble pointed outside at Featherweight flipping around, being tossed by the wind before putting him down and starting again.

"In the regular military, each Corporal controls five to ten ponies. Button is only in charge of four."

"It's always: The military does this. The military doesn't do that. In the military this!" Rumble raged on. "We are not the military! we started this for fun! It's not like we have to defend Ponyville or save Equestria; That's what Twilight and co. are here for! Besides! You did not earn the rank of Sergeant yourself. You self-appointed it!"

"Well, somepony had to take the lead! We can't just be a bunch of colts doing whatever we want!" First Base retaliated.

"Um... Guys?" Button interrupted. "We are a bunch of colts doing whatever we want."

"Well, we should at least try to keep things in order! We can't spread panic and chaos over the streets of Ponyville with our missions."

"We don't have any missions!" Rumble shouted. "It's all just self-appointed, just like your rank. Speaking of your rank, you're just an NCO! You can't just decide what to do! Orders in your 'regular military' get passed from above!"

"Well I guess I should self-promote myself to a Lieutenant! After all, I could just off easily appointed myself as the captain of the PCAF! Or even Colonel! And maybe even General! After all, I started this!"

"We started this! And from all that self-talk of self-appointing about self-promoting is really starting to drive a bolt into my nuts! Next time, you can lock yourself away, and point at yourself with your finger, and ram it right into your..."

Snips and Snails we're just watchin in awe as the argument continued.

"We're going to be Corporals?" Snips asked his slender friend, who is just as confused as he is.

"I don't know," Snails replied. "I'm still not sure if this is an disagreement about the flight, or a heated argument that gets us nowhere."

"You're the rear gunner of the plane, so you better not make me..." Rumble continued.

"I thinks it's an argument." Snips whispered to his friend again.

Snails looked around, checking on the others. Pipsqueak was almost done with loading the guns, Tender Taps was giving the tires a final check, and Featherweight was still being tossed about.

"When are they gonna take-off?" Snails asked. "Everything's pretty much ready."

"I guess we're waiting for Featherweight." Snips replied.

"...And you can ask your MOM to help you with that!" First Base screamed at the top of his lungs.

"Hey! Leave my mom out of this!" Rumble exclaimed.

"You think we should intervene?" Snips asked.

"Nah. I think they got this under control."

"...How would your mom like THAT?!" Rumble screamed.

"I don't have a mother, I'm an orphan."

"Uh... Maybe we should," Snails said, changing his mind.

"Umm... Guys?" Snips interrupted. "You think we should maybe... I don't know... Take off?"

"Okay sure... um..." First Base scanned over the ponies in front of him, as well as the bi-plane. "Hey! Where's Featherweight?!"

"Right here!" A voice called for the door.

"Ah... Featherweight! Weather report!" First Base boomed.

"Yes! Relatively clear skies, no airborne migrations, wind is acting strange but predictable," Featherweight replied.

"Good!" First Base looked at the clock, "About time we should take-off! Let's get this thing out of here and up in the air!"

Everypony just looked at each other before Button raised a hoof.

"Yes, Corporal?" First Base looked at the Brown colt.

"Umm... How exactly are we going to do that?" He asked.

Everypony looked towards the Bi-plane, which had a wing span wider than five ponies with their hooves stretched across, and the makeshift, wooden door.

After eventually getting the bi-plane out, by blowing open a wall, the colts all stood on the dirt run-way with their helmets and googles with their magnificent creation as well as a table, two stools, a radio, a notebook and a pen, a ladder and a pair of binoculars.

"Alright gang!" First Base shouted as Button, Pipsqueak and Tender Taps pushed the plane into place. "Today will be our first test flight! Ground crew! How is everything going?!"

"All ready Sir! I meant eh... Sergeant!" Snips called out from the table.

"Giving final radio checks!" Snails reported.

"Good!" First Base grinned to himself, feeling all in control and seeing everything work out is extremely satisfying. All this hard work is going to pay off! However, little did he know, all that is going to change.

"Sergeant! Get your butt over here!" interrupted his thoughts as he snapped back to reality and turned to the source of the voice. There he see Rumble in the pilot seat of the plane, smirking at him as Pipsqueak and Button Mash boarded the plane.

"That's no way to treat your commander!" First Base shouted at the pilot.

"What do you mean 'Commander' Sergeant?" Rumble replied with a cheeky tone.

"We're not off the ground yet." He warned dreading the possible stunts Rumble can pull off on the earth pony.

Everypony was doing something to get the plane ready for take-off: Rumble was fiddling with the flaps, Pipsqueak was tuning the radio, Featherweight was strapping the 'B.O.M.B's (Blue Ominous Meteor Blasters aka Big Blue Water Balloons), Tender Taps was taking off the wood blocks around the tires, First Base was preparing the 'guns' with 2mm rubber bands, Snails was tuning the ground radio and Snips was climbing on top of the cabin, levitating a pair of binoculars.

"Crew, this is Captain speaking. Report!" Rumble shouted towards the colts on board.

"Signaller ready Sir!" Pipsqueak shouted.

"Bombardier ready Sir!" Tender Taps shouted.

"Wait... What... Rear gunner ready Sir!" First Base shouted, recovering from zoning out.

"Um... Extra crew member ready Sir?" Button Mash answered.

"Crew is ready!" Rumble boomed to the ground crew.

Snips set himself up on the cabin, pointing his binoculars at the plane, Snails gave finally radio-checks with Pipsqueak and Featherweight gave final instruction to the pilot.

"The wind is following a steady pattern!" Featherweight told Rumble. "Go on the east-west runway and wait for the wind! When wind blows from behind, power up! The wind will push you forwards, gaining speed, before stopping and blowing the other way! The wind going against you should give you lift! Above the cloud level, winds are relatively calm!"

"Roger!" Rumble acknowledged and strapped his googles on.

"Buckle up people!" He shouted as the crew strapped on their googles and seatbelts.

"Um... Captain. I don't have a seatbelt." Tender Taps said.

"Oh... just use that rope in the back, ensure you can quick release if things get shifty." Rumble casually said.

After taxiing to the correct runway and Tender Taps tying himself to his seat. The crew were ready for take off.

"0, Alpha, this is 1, Bravo. Permission to take-off? Over." Pipsqueak spoke into the radio, before hearing a crackling and slightly muffled reply.

"1, Bravo, this is 0, Alpha. Permission granted. Over."

"0, Alpha, this is 1, Bravo. Acknowledged. Out." Pipsqueak responded, cutting the line.

"You know that you can just say 'Roger'," Rumbled said, flipping a few switches and pulling a large wood crank, causing the engine to sputter. "It's much easier and quicker to say."

"I just prefer Acknowledged, more. It sound more official." Pipsqueak replied.

"How so?"

"It just does."

"That's what they all say." First Base muttered.

"Are you completely sure that this rope is adequate?" Tender Taps asked, his hooves vibrating at the fear of taking off on a crude plane they just made.

"Yes," Rumble answered. "Not just hold your tapping: We need this take-off as smooth as possible. How about some music to calm your nerves?" Rumble asked, flipping on a radio that was imbedded in the controls of the plane.

The sound of music rang through their ears, leading up the lyrics of the song.

"I didn't know you put a radio there!" Pipsqueak shouted over the music.

"I decided to personalise my cockpit to suit my needs." Rumble said, reclining his chair and sliding out a cup-holder.

"Those magnificent men in their flying machines. They go up-ditty up, up! They go down-ditty down, down!" The radio sang.

"What's a man?" Button asked out of the blue.

"I don't know," Rumble replied. "Apparently, this radio picks up signals from other dimensions."

"Other dimensions?" First Base cried out. "Rumble! Button! Where did you get these stuff?!"

Their reply was cut off as Featherweight, who was nearby, gave a large yank on the plastic propeller, using both his wings and leverage of his long legs, making the engine sputter more intensely before creating a loud hum and slowly, began to pulling the plane forwards.

Snips watched the plane accelerating forwards through his binoculars and shouted excitedly at the Snails to inform him. "They're moving!"

Rumble let the engine warm up as the wind began to slow down. The moment the wind picked up from behind, he increased throttle to max; storming the plane down the runway, picking up speed and kicking up dust from the ground.

The colts were shaking vigorously up and down. Tender Taps having the hardest time as he and his ropes were shaking even more vigorously.

The acceleration also pushed the rest of the colts to their limits: First Base as the rear gunner facing backwards, had his crudely stapled down seatbelts pulled to the limits, threatening to release him flying out of the air craft at each tiny bump. Pipsqueak's radio was vibrating largely due to the bumps on the rocky runway, barely holding together in one piece. And Rumble was focused on the wind and the runway. Flaring out his wings slightly, he sensed every small change in the wind. As the wind calmed down, and began to pick up again, he pushed the engine to the max and pulled the nose up. Plowing directly against the wind, the plane slowly pulled up, causing a few 'ooh's, 'ah's and screams, especially from Button and Tender Taps.

However, the plane pulled up too much from the wind, forcing the plane to go up almost vertical. The speed plummeted, as the plummeting began to pick up speed as the wind died down.

"Oh Sh-I-za Kofff!!!" First Base screamed as he stared at the ground coming closer to him.

The plane was only 30 metres (33 feet) up in the air as they started to plummet. Screams echoed around Rumble as he focused on the controls. Pulling a wooden lever, He set the flaps into combat mode; creating drag, however allows the plane to maneuverer more quickly.

He rotated the plane's wings to roll the plane over, belly pointing upwards, forcing the plane down to the ground towards a depression, picking up speed.

Snips could only watch in horror as the plane plummeted down behind a tree which was blocking his view.

Thanks to Rumble's aerial instincts, he slowly flipped the plane over on its wheels and pulled the nose up, engine working at max. Button Mash and Tender Taps were hugging each other for comfort as the plane's wheels bumped across the grass at the side of the ridge and then up and over the edge of the depression and into the air.

"Yes! Yes! YES!!!" Pipsqueak screamed into the radio, blowing up Snail's eardrums. "Rumble did it! We're Alive!!!"

Rumble grinned as the plane flew up into the sky, as cheers from his crew echo through his ears. Suddenly, the engine sputtered and died.

"They go up-ditty up, up! They go down-ditty down, down!" The radio sang.

Wooden Wonders

07/8/3014, 1200 hours

Ponyville, Equestria

Day 0

Wooden Wonders

"Derby racers, are you READY?!" Cheerilee announced on the top of her lungs. "GET READY! SET!! GO!!!"

The cart on the race track zoomed down the track, well except for the one with the two apples in it. Rumble and Button Mash watched in awe as the speed of the carts continually sped up even through the tight turns, drifting their way around the track. They were there for their friend, Snips, who was with his dad, who was a mechanic, in his cart, which was a four by four, for moral support, which was currently not very effective. Although the cart was robust and reliable, it wasn't fast enough to catch up to a certain Rainbow maned mare's vehicle.

"Come on! Snips! Pedal to the Metal!" Rumble scream on the top of his lungs.

"Get as many items as possible!" Button scream with him.

"Items only exist in your games Button," Rumble reminded his friend. "Don't listen to him! He knows nothing about racing!"

"Then explain why you always get shredded!"

"That's cause you and your stupid item using 'AI's gang up on me and BUCK me over sideways!"

"Oi! Don't swear in public, chill out!"

"I'm not swearing, I said 'Buck instead of 'Fu..."

The conversation ended with a hoof connecting with a colt's jaw.

Snips turned and turned, he tried to accelerate fast enough, but with the amount of weaving and curving, he wasn't catching the lead.

His father in the back seat chuckled as he watched his son fiddling with the steering wheel, pedals, brakes, and the gear change.

"Havin' fun there?" he chuckled.

"I can't catch up! That 'Swan-Car' is in the way, as well as all these twists and turns!"

His father chuckled before giving some words of advice, "Don't always press the accurate or break without the need for it; it is sometime better to out-maneuverer your opponent rather than going faster than them." He smiled.

Snip looked back to meet his father's encouraging smile and smiled back, turning around and taking his advice on racing. His dad said that he choose to make a four by four rather than a speed car because it is more reliable and manoeuvrable when used right.

He pulled out to the side of the 'Swan-Car', whose driver was busy singing a song and flapping the wings up and down for no reason. Timing the interval between the flaps, he concentrated on running his car right through.

"Let them have it!" his father cheered as the wing when up.

The moment the wings when down, he pressed the accelerate as hard as he could. The four wheel drive prevented him from flipping over as well as giving a large boost of speed. And as soon as he reached the wings, they popped right back up. Seizing his moment, he burst through the gap, drifting on the next corner and pulling in front.

"Yesss! That's my boy!" His father praised.

Snips had the widest grin plastered onto his face, he looked back to see his father's wide and proud smile. Then, his smile suddenly started to faded and turned into dread. Snips, who was confused looked back forwards to see the makings of a huge collision.

And he was one of the ingredients.

BAM!!!! Cling!! Clank!

"How did nopony get injured?" First Base cried our in surprise.

"I didn't believe it either, I though Derpy was DEAD with all those carts on top of her!" Button Mash cried aloud.

"Well, don't question it. Would you rather somepony got hurt?" Rumble asked.

The three colts were walking down the streets of Ponyville, heading directly toward the (in)famous Sugarcube Corner, talking about the recent derby that took place earlier in the day.

"I wouldn't want anypony to get injuried from such a silly mistake! I mean: What type of demon would take over somepony's project without their consent!" Button cried louder, attracting unwanted attention from the surrounding ponies.

"Uh... Button. I think it is best if you shut up." Rumble whispered.

"Let's all shut up. We are wasting our saliva in a dire time of need from refreshments. Before you know it, Button here would be on the floor, screaming at the top of his lungs with a dry throat." First Base added earning a look of confusion from the two colts beside him.

"Um... Excuse me?" Rumble asked.

"Was I meant to understand that? I only started listening when you said 'Button' and kinda stopped when you said 'Mash'," Button blurted aloud.

"Let's just head in," First Base dismissed, changing the subject.

As they entered, a poofy maned, pink mare hopped down from the ceiling directly in front of the colts to greet them.

"Oh! Hi Button! Rumble! and... First Base! Dine in as per usual?" The hyper mare gave a extremely cheesy smile as she finished, even earning a background 'squee' noise.

"Yes Pinkie! What's the special for smoothies today?" Rumble replied politely.

"OH!!! We always have specials for everything! I... Pinkie Pie always strive to make everything special! Once I tried making the menu alter from hour to hour, so that there will be hourly specials to make everything special! But then the cakes couldn't keep up to supply the demands required, so then I decided to have daily alternating menus, but then the locals prefer a more predictable menu so they would always known what's on! What a load of bull-laugh! They should really spice up things in their lives, I mean, having the same foods on every single day for every single week for every single month for every single year for every single decade for every single lifetime for every single era for every single eon for every single millen... mil-len-eia? Mill... Millennia! Wow! that funny word to say very quickly, I mean, that's the first time I had a real problem with tougue-twister in years! So back to, yes! Millennia! That would be sooo boring. I mean these ponies should really learn from Discord. Did you know, one day Discord used a one thousand-sided die to choose what to order. Man! That was sooo funny until the die decided to run away and started dropping rainbow dots all over town. I mean, how many dots are there on a thousand-sided die. I mean, it would be 1+2+3+4, all the way to a thousand. And those dot stains were nasty too. I had to use the lasso tool and reach out of the screen to press 'delete' to get them off. And I had to be careful not to delete anything else or it would cause a rip in the fabric of space and time. Speaking of time, how long did it take me? I mean if 1+2+3...+1000='x'... the 'x' times the amount of cheesecake in the universe multiplied by the reciprocal of the gold in a nokia 3310 to the power of brony haters, all divided by the amount of computers in the 'human-world'... Wow! That's a lot of hours! I mean how did I do all that? Wait! Derpy and her Colt-friend took me into this blue box so I could do it all and return back to life without me, or anypony noticing. And so... I decided to create a daily special for each catergory on the menu every single day! And so..."

"Um... Miss Pi..." First Base uttered.

"... 'x' = 250 499 and the daily special for smoothies is Choc-chip and Syrup with Vanilla and Blue berries!" Pinkie finished in one breath in a time under 25 seconds. (Challenge)

Leaving First Base with his mouth tunneling through the ground to hold the size of the jaw drop. "Okay... Umm... Wow."

"I'll take that!" Button cried excitedly.

"Same as him," Rumble added.

"Um... Do you have anything suited to cure a severely dropped jaw?" First Base asked.

"Sure thing!" Pinkie chirped as she placed a tiny brown pill inside his mouth.

Feeling silly, having a random pill in his mouth, First Base told Pinkie, "I don't think it is doing anyth..." As he reached to take it out of his mouth. Suddenly, the pill evaporated and started sending electrical shock throughtout his body as well as changing tastes randomly.

"Ahhh! Oh!!! BAHH!!!!!! BARGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!" First Base screamed and shouted with a varying degrees of surprise and horror.

Suddenly the pill started fizzing violently and then exploded in a loud bang, reducing the saliva-activated pill to a puff of pink smoke and confetti.

"Oh... Um... Gee thanks," First Base said as he regained his senses.

"Don't worry, free of charge. Just doing for a friend!" Pinkie stated cheerfully. "So... what do you want?" Pinkie grabbed out a menu from her poofy hair and raised her hoof up while letting it roll down, the bottom just touching the ground.

"Umm..." First Base looked at the menu and scanned through the contents. "I'll take... Cookies and cream with chocolate sauce and strawberry topping along with blueberries and... cheese?"

As he said his order, Pinkie was behind the counter, creating the smoothie as hyper-speed. First throwing the glass on the table; miraculously bouncing comically without falling over or smashing. Then threw into the cup with accurate precision the ingredients without even putting her hoof over the glass by lobbing ingredients from the cupboard in front and behind her; each ingredient landing one by one and paused as he stopped speaking as the cheese floated from the air into the glass.

"No wait... can you replace the cheese with cream? Or is it already too la..."

"Not a problem!" Pinkie Pie said before grabbing a large ray gun from the ceiling out of nowhere and aimed it at the glass, shooting a large magical blast that blew up and left the café full of smoke.

The colts coughed as the smoked settled, they found themselves at a table with Pinkie Pie in front of them with a waitress outfit on as well as a circular tray with the three orders on it.

"How did... What?" The colts muttered and squeaked in awe.

"Trade Secret..." Pinkie whispered to them and carefully placed the three smoothies one by one in front of each colt. "Enjoy!" She stood right back up and smiled before running towards the counter and literally jumping behind it without a trace of sound or her mere existence.

"Somethings are better left unanswered." Rumble said as he put his mouth onto the straw.

Author's Note

Thanks for Reading!
This story with be updated once every one or two months.
If you have any questions or suggestions, feel free to ask/tell.
I don't mind criticism. I would like to take ideas to improve my writing for future chapter/stories.

The Prolonging

"IT HURTS SOO MUCH!!!" Button whined as he stumbled forwards while vigorously rubbing his forehead.

"That's what you get for trying to slurp do your order in one go," Rumble mumbled.

"Why? Just why do you keep on doing that?" First Base cried as his mind couldn't comprehend Button's actions.

"It's on my bucket list!" Button said aloud while pressing his hooves on the side of his head.

"You don't have to do it now at such a young age," Rumble said.

"But what if I go to sleep, and the next morning, I never wake up?" Button asked.

"That's stupid," First Base replied. "One, you don't even have to complete a bucket list. A bucket list is just a goal set by yourself that doesn't achieve anything besides bragging rights. And... Two, who would waste their time, effort and energy to kill a small and useless brown colt who is nothing but a pain in the arse!" First Base huffed at the last comment, suddenly pausing and then thinking aloud. "That doesn't help does it."

"Oh no... That worked magnificently!" Rumbled sarcastically spoke aloud as Button shivered so much, it would even rival Tender Taps'.

"Alright! Let's throw this topic away and continue on a more important one," First Base cheerfully cut in through the silence. "What should we do now?"

"Your putting entertainment above the safety of my life?!" Button cried out.

"Come on, you'll be fine," Rumble dismissed. "Just don't piss anyone off."

"We piss off Diamond Tiara all of the time. Will she kill me?" Button asked whilst trembling in fear.

"No," First Base interrupted. "She wouldn't kill you herself. She'll hire professional assassins to do that for her."

"No!" Rumbled cut in front of Button, putting himself physically between Button and First Base as Button froze. "We didn't piss her off. She pissed us off and we just retaliated. Therefore, we have the right of attack."

"Right of attack? What's that?" First Base asked.

"It's in fencing." Rumble humbly replied while trying the shake Button out of his broken state.

"Fencing... Hey... Wait a minute...!" First Base thought aloud, before putting on a face of confusion and nudging Rumble in the shoulder. "Technically, that means she has the right of attack!"

"What? How?" Rumble asked.

"She attacked first, that means she initially has the right of attack! The only way for us to get it off her is either to disengage and attack first or to successfully defend, then retaliate!"

"That! Is not helping!" Rumble pointed behind him at the broken down colt.

"Well it's the truth!" First base shouted. "It's like deluding yourself that you are the centre of the universe and that everything is all lovey dovey when it's not!"

"Just... Shut up!" Rumble burst out.

"And now your denying the truth! It's like your the guy who wouldn't listen to a single bit of criticism! Just covering you ears and looking away even though everything he's done in his life is going to Shat!"

"No..."

"Your as stupid as a person who drops a piece of bread on cow's pat and picks it up and pretend nothing happen!"

"ALRIGHT!!! I HAD BUCKING ENOUGH!!!! JUST SHUT UP AND HELP ME GET BUTTON FIXED UP!!! HE ISN'T RESPONDING TO ANYTHING!"

"THEN JUST PUSH THE BUTTON! Oh..." First Base uttered in realisation as he looked towards Rumble trying as hard as he could to get Button to respond. "Oh dear. That ain't good."

"Thanks for noticing Mr Observant," Rumble sarcastically said as First Base tried to get Button moving himself.

"No... Nothing's working!!!!" First Base cried out in desperation as his hoofs waved in front of Button's shrunken pupils picked up speed.

"Oh... jee, didn't realised that," Rumble added another sarcastic comment.

"What... What should we do?!"

"I don't know, I totally haven't been trying to figure out what to do for the last five minutes!"

"That wasn't five minutes!"

"It's an exaggeration! jeez..."

"Okay! Okay! How should we do this? Should we try fixing him up without any pony knowing?"

"Well it's not like we can dress him up as a dog and give him to a vet! We gotta come clean to somepony who knows what their doing."

"Twilight Sparkle?"

"Nah, that ain't gonna cut it."

"Time turner?"

"No. we need somepony who really knows what their doing!"

The colts pondered in silence before being interrupted by First Base's voice.

"I know! Button's mom!"

And so the colts carried a frozen Button towards the household of Love Tap.

"By the way, when a button isn't responding, you don't desperately push it again and again. Beacause it won't..." Rumble stated out of the blue.

"Shut up!"

"You ring the bell," Rumble whispered.

"No... You ring it," First Base muttered back.

"I was the one who was trying to help him."

"Well, you can help him up now as well."

"My point is, that you should be the one confronting the colt's mother, whose son was is frozen, not breathing nor responding due to your actions."

"It's not my fault that Button is such a push-over, wait no... what's the word? Submissive? No... That's not right..."

"Just Shut up! and ring the doorbell."

"For you information, I happen to..."

At that moment, the door opened, revealing a cream colour mare with a brown mane.

"Oh, hi colts! What is it this time?" The mare happily greeted.

"Oh... um, hi Love Tap..." First Base stuttered, praying that the mare in question didn't hear too much of their previous conversation. "Wait... 'This time'?"

"Don't ask," Rumble muttered harshly. "We got more important matters in hoof."

The mare looked at the duo with a confused look on her face, before realising that there were only the two of them.

"Where's Button? Is this request about Button? Where is he stuck at?" Love Tap asked as she took a step out of the door to look around, only to be stopped by the two colts.

"He's fine." The colts stammered.

"If something bad happened to him..." Love Tap told the colts sternly. "Somepony's gonna find out and you'll have to take the blame anyway. So just tell me the truth instead of delaying the punishment."

The colts looked at each other with uncertainty.

"Not that I'm gonna punish you," Love Tap smiled at the colts before turning her face into one of pure seriousness and spoke in a low pitched voice. "Now where is he?"

The colts looked between themselves and both let out a sigh.

"Base, get him over here," Rumble muttered.

The orange colt drooped his ears in shame as he walked behind a tree and picked a frozen brown colt from behind it.

Love Tap's eyes widen, taking up half of her face, then she ran towards her son.

"Quick! Take him inside!" She commanded as Rumble ran over to First Base and the three carried him over to the door. "Tell me! What happened? Verbal or Visual?"

"Verbal," Rumble replied quickly.

"Talking about Life?"

"Yes," First Base answered.

"Any themes about death?"

"Yes."

"Alright," Love Tap acknowledged as Button's body was brought to lie down on the couch. "We just need to expose him to the truth."

"The Truth?" First base asked in confusion.

"Yes," Love Tap replied.

"The one from discord whooves and zerum 'truth'?" Rumble asked.

"Uh... No. What are you talking about?"

"Nevermind what I said," Rumble quickly answered.

Love tap ran the to cabinet and got a few games out of the shelf and into the gaming console, before setting the game up and grabbed a remote. Before passing the remote to Button, she sternly looked towards the two conscious colts and said in a vary low tone, "Never tell anypony about this and what you have seen."

"What?" The colts replied in unison and confusion.

"Oh... screw it," Love tap muttered beneath her breath. "Have any of youse afraid of action violence?"

"Uh... no," First Base answered.

"Nup," Rumble quickly added before all eyes could turn on him.

"Any of youse afraid or never been exposed to blood and gore?"

"Nah-da," First Base replied.

"Not exactly but..."

"Any of youse been exposed to, 'the birds and the bees'?"

"Um... what's tha..." Rumble asked as First Base cut his response off.

"I don't like where this is going. How about Rumble and I go upstairs and only come down when you need help or when it's safe."

Love Tap thought for a moment and then handed (hoofed:derpytongue2:) the remote to button, who somehow in his frozen state, took a firm grip of it and started pushing buttons and moving joysticks.

"Now! Go!" Love tap ushered towards them as the colt when up the stairs to the next floor.

An hour passed and the colts were still upstairs.

The colts had finished with Button's game console and were now fiddling with sticks, pencils, rubber bands and paperclips in their hooves.

"What's taking so long?" First Base asked in desperation.

"I don't know," Rumble quietly said as he made final adjustments to his paper aeroplane.

"We just talked to him about the chances of his death! Isn't that a bit over exaggerating? or is that not the right word?"

"Seems like to me that the author just doesn't know what to write and is just prolonging the story." Rumble replied, in a trance like state while checking his plane.

"What?" First Base asked whilst twisting his rubber band.

Rumble shook his head vigorously and looked towards First Base and asked, "What!? What happened? What did I say?"

"Nothing, nevermind." First Base sighed.

Author's Note

Sry,
Really busy with real-life stuff.
After the new year, I'll probably get everything back on time.