Being a Displacer is pretty hard. First, you gotta get the right materials to properly displace someone. Ever wonder why a merchant would give someone something that is matches their costume perfectly? That’s why. Next, you’d have to choose which place you could get Displaced to. Most people pick Equestria. And why not? It’s a perfect place for a villain like Sauron or Doctor Doom to just march in and destroy from the ground up.
For Niko Zoloto, however, he viewed Equestria as something different. He was always a fan of survival games and wanted to give his victi- erm… customers, the same feeling he had when he played in an MMORPG as a teenager, when his username was Sid. Of course, it can’t just be any Equestria. It had to be a special kind of Equestria.
Hence why Niko wore the Military Police uniform that he took from a guy. It offered some fast mobility with the hook shots and the gas that would propel him, but also combined it with some deadly firepower in the form of two specially made pistols that shot out gas that was so compressed, it could blow people’s heads up like they were melons. They weren’t as effective as durable blades, but they make up for it in stopping power.
This is what Niko would need for this latest survey. He was just gonna stick his next Displaced into the heart of the Changeling Kingdom. However, he had to see just how dangerous the Changeling Kingdom is. He wanted to give his next customer a sporting chance, after all.
He broke into the kingdom rather easily with the help if a well-placed punch through a weak wall of the castle. The Changelings built their hive like how wasps built their hives out of paper. He ripped into the wall and immediately shot upwards to hide from the ceiling, knowing full well that the Changelings would notice the noise and close in.
He looked down and noticed that the Changelings… stood out? They were not the black and green colored drones he was familiar with. No. They were more colorful. One was fully green with a set of purple eyes while the other was merely orangish green with green eyes. The Changelings soon looked up and one of them began to open their wings.
Wings.
WINGS?!
Niko nearly crapped his bright white pants… Next time he goes to that kingdom, he’s gonna give whoever thought of the uniform an earful as to why white pants would not work in a world full of scary giant naked people. Niko readied his gun as the Changeling flew up to him.
“Hello!” The Changeling said. Niko would have dropped his gun had it not been for the fact that it was tied to his 3D Maneuver Gear. It was so unlike a Changeling to sound anything other than ‘GROWL! HISS!’.
“Um… Hi?” Niko asked.
“What are you doing up here?” He asked.
“I could say the same for you.” Niko then took out the hook and fell down, only to reshoot his hooks and fly off with a well-timed push of gas. He had to go deeper into the kingdom. Those were just rejected drones, r-right?
However, a horde of multicolored Changelings ambushed him before he could even get his guns out. They dogpiled him to the ground and…
Proceeded to cuddle him.
“Aaaaaah…” Niko had no idea what to say. It’s a nice alternative to being ripped to shreds, yes, but he felt so icky from having literal bug horses snuggle him. Maybe this is a defense tactic, right? They use their body heat to cook the victim. Yeah, that’s it.
“Don’t run! We only want to love you!” One of them said.
“Can’t… breathe…” Niko said. That’s when some of the Changelings went away to give him some breathing room. “… Um…”
“We’re terribly sorry! Are you okay now?” One of the Changelings said.
“… Okay, what’s with the politeness? Aren’t you guys supposed to be evil and stuff?” Niko asked.
“Oh, right… I suppose you haven’t heard…” A new voice came in. Niko turned around and saw a moose bug. Wait, what?
The Changeling was tall enough to be of some high authority, if what he knows of the Queen is any indicator. He had four purple wings, a crystal gem on his neck, and had two orange horns along with the standard horn on his forehead.
“Yeah… What’s with the tie-dye?” Niko asked. He figured he’d take advantage of their niceness to milk some information.
“Well, we have shared our love with each other and that has caused us to evolve.” He said.
“… Ooookay. Erm… Can I speak to your leader?” Niko asked.
“You’re talking to him right now.” The moose Changeling then bowed. “I am King Thorax.” He said.
“… No.” Niko said as the Changelings all backed away from him. “Where is Queen Chrysalis?” He asked.
“Erm… Gone.” One of the Changelings said.
“Yeah, we sort of overthrew her.” Another said.
“… And… you’re the new ruler?” Niko asked.
“Exactly!” King Thorax smiled. Niko then thought of something.
“So!” Niko clapped his hands. “What’s the situation in Equestria? Tyrants ruling it with a clad iron fist? Monster destroying the wayside?” Niko asked, hoping for some mirror universe.
“Um… No.” King Thorax said. “It’s still being ruled by the four princesses… Well five counting the baby.”
“… So… The only change here is that you’re ruling the Changelings… Erm… you planning any invasions?” Niko asked.
“What? No! We’re planning on sharing our love with all of Equestria and beyond!” Thorax said.
“… Nope.” Niko then flew out and continued to repeat “nopenopenopenopenopenopenopenope!” throughout his trek out of the castle.
He was far away from the castle when he ran out of gas. He dropped the canisters and panted. Taking out a notepad, he crossed “Changeling Kingdom” off the list so many times that it nearly ripped the paper. He sighed and looked to underneath “Changeling Kingdom”.
Well, he did owe Hades a new soul after that incident a while back. Might as well send his next customer to Underbrooke.
