Dressed to Egress

by AsiagoUnicorn

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Rarity
Length: 1030

Rainbow Dash is not a fan of dresses. Rarity is very persuasive.

Rainbow Dash is not a fan of dresses. Rarity is very persuasive.

Pre-read by MetaSkipper.

Published 2016-10-08 10:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-10-08 10:20:01 UTC

Suited for Distress

“No,” Rainbow Dash growled with a brash firmness. Her brows were furrowed, ears pulled back in a snarl. Her flared wings eclipsed the window and she stood low, steady, and prepared. Her eyes seemed to draw in what little of the light that filtered through her wings, burning with a piercing intensity.

Every living being in the room had a screaming voice in their head, telling them to flee while they still had legs to flee on. The primal desire to self preserve.

“Oh pish posh, darling. It won't be that bad.” Rarity, of course, had silenced this voice long ago.

“I said n-”

Rarity caught the Dash's eye and the mare froze. “Don't make me put these clothes on you,” she enunciated carefully, an edge hidden in her voice.

Dash's composure crumbled. Her wings snapping to her side, she backpedaled. The cool glass of the window pressed against her flanks and she whirled to face it. Freedom was inches away, and inches were not far for a pony as fast as Rainbow Dash.

The lock clicked, and Rarity cleared her throat, the blue aura of her magic spiraling off her horn. “You wouldn't want to ruin the stitching, now would you?”

Rainbow Dash whimpered as the last of her resolve shattered.

Dash struggled to breath, the tight corset almost strangling her. Every inch of her coat was assaulted by the clinging, pink fabric. Her hair pulled at her head, painfully bound in an elegant bun. The worst, however, was the utter lack of wing holes binding her wings to her side.

Rarity tutted. “Not the best fit, but that's to be expected with a dress designed for an earth pony client.”

“Earth pony?!” Dash's rage returned, the exertion of shouting winding her. She struggled to catch her breath in the corset, forcing herself to continue talking regardless, “Why didn't- you get- AJ- or Pinkie- to test this- dress- for you- then?”

“Oh darling, never. They're simply not the same wonderful shade of sky blue as you.”

Rainbow Dash screamed, and Rarity hastened to loosen the corset before her purple faced friend lost consciousness.

Dash had been through dress based hell and back. She had worn all manner of constricting, flowery, flamboyant apparel. Nothing had prepared her for this. “What in Celestia's name is this, Rarity?” she spat out in disgust.

“It's an abstract piece.” Rarity responded hesitantly, “Well I will admit I don't find the current abstractionist trend in the fashion industry very... shall we say inspiring? I couldn't resist trying my own hoof at it.”

“It's made of spaghetti.”

Rarity grimaced. “Yes. Yes it is.”

“Alright, that's it,” Dash snapped, “I'm done. Get this slimy thing off of me before I tear it off.”

“I'll just be a moment, I ha-”

“Now,” Dash growled, murder in her eyes.

Rarity grinned sheepishly, beginning to pull the dress apart in the most salvageable way she could manage. A stray noodle struck her foreleg like a cold, wet tendril and she shivered. Her horn grew brighter and she pulled at the dress, tearing it to shreds. There was nothing worth salvaging about it.

Rainbow Dash, free of her pasta prison, stomped to the door.

“Wait, Dash!” Rarity called after her, “Just one more dress? Please!”

“No!” she shouted, throwing back the lock.

“I'll let you pick?” Rarity's added, her voice reaching the squeakiest of highs.

Dash met the mare's pleading eyes. Her resolve chipped, and then fractured, and then fell apart under the weight of her crystalline blue eyes. “Fine,” she spat. “But it's going to be the least frilliest thing you have ever made. And it's not going to be Celestia damned pink!”

Rarity moved to the side as Dash scanned her collection. Her eyes ran over overcomplicated atrocities of every color, shape, and size. Something caught her gaze, hidden near the back, dark and subdued. She motioned to it.

Rarity bit her lower lip, “Are you sure about that, Dash. That's hardly my best work.”

“You said anything.”

“But-”

“Anything”

Rainbow Dash laughed, “I told you I was done with dresses.” She stood, or more accurately, hovered a foot of the ground, curled up in laughter, clothed in a simple black suit. The sleeves hung down around her hooves, accentuated with brass cufflinks. The back the suit was short, subtly framing her cutie mark.

“It really isn't my greatest work,” Rarity muttered.

Dash landed. “I didn't even know you make guy's stuff, Rarity.”

“I don't. Well, I did,” she corrected, “For a spell at least. There's just not enough you can do with men's apparel. It's just too... Functional,” she scoffed. “Well,” she looked up, “Time to take it off!”

“I don't wanna.” She inhaled sharply, covering her face with a hoof in a futile attempt to hide the flame of her cheeks. Her life passed before her eyes. She couldn't believe what she had just said out loud.

Rarity paused, surprised, before squealing in delight, “Did I just hear Rain- Bow- Dash- of all ponies asking to keep clothes on her?”

“No,” Dash hissed, barely audible through her hoof.

“I diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid~” Rarity giggled madly.

“I didn't say anything!” Dash shouted, her blush mixing with anger.

Rarity rolled her eyes, “Oh shush you. It's perfectly acceptable to appreciate a decent wardrobe.”

“It just makes me feel so handsome.” As soon as the words escaped her mouth, the electromagnet firmly attaching her hoof to her face reengaged.

“Ohoho,” Rarity raised an eyebrow teasingly, “Little Dashie feels handsome?”

“No!” she shouted.

“Yes.”

“... Yes.”

Rarity emitted a high pitch noise that only balloons can make, nearly bursting at the seams with excitement.

“If you tell anypony I will make sure it rains on your boutique for the rest of your life.” Rainbow Dash uttered with a dead seriousness, significantly undermined by the beet red tone of her face.

“Oh don't worry, Darling,” Rarity said, suddenly calm, “Your secret's safe with me.”

Dash nodded, “Good.”

Rarity kicked it back into high gear, “Oh I'm just so excited. I think you'll find things more to your liking next time.”

“Wait, what do you mean next time?”