"How did you become a cult leader anyway?" Trixie asked out of the blue.
Starlight dropped the firework she had been holding, causing the show prop to go off and fill the area in sparks and smoke. The two mares coughed and hacked profusely until the dust had cleared, at which point Starlight began to glance around nervously. "Uh... Why would you ask that? I told you about Sunburst..."
"Loosing your childhood crush to a cutie mark does not instantly turn you into a mad cult leader. Trust me, Trixie knows."
"He's not my childhood crush!" Starlight objected.
"Okay, remove the childhood bit then." Trixie smirked. "Still, not enough. I don't see how that led to you controlling every aspect of ponies lives."
Starlight bit her lip. "Well... I guess you're right. That's... That's just where it started. She fell silent, looking at the ground sadly, studying the patterns of the grass as it blowed in the wind. She pawed at the ground with her hoof absent-mindedly.
Trixie frowned. "If you don't want to talk about it you don't have to..."
"Sorry." Starlight said. "I'm just collecting my thoughts. You do deserve to know the whole story... You've earned that much."
Trixie stopped sorting her props and sat down, attentively listening as Starlight began her tale.
You know where it started: Sunburst got his cutie mark and he was shipped off to Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, and I blamed his cutie mark for it. I was mad - and I let that madness stew. When the other fillies got their cutie marks I would shun them. I wasn't close friends with any of them to begin with, and, well, the thing with Sunburst soured me to the whole idea of getting to know any of them particuarly well. I didn't even think about making friends with others who had already gotten their cutie marks and weren't going anywhere - I was young and viewed the marks themselves as something to be despised. I saw them as a controlling influence that told ponies what to do, a destiny forced upon them that was beyond their control.
I suppose I still believe that about the marks to some extent. I still think that many cutie marks are destiny forced upon you. It just seems... too controlling to me. Of course now I see that there are many ponies who don't devote their lives to their mark - Cheerilee comes to mind, and the Crusaders tell me there are several others. But what bugs me is that the majority of ponies just seem to accept their marks as a master over their lives.
I... Don't really know. The way they exist and affect our lives just bothers me. I've been thinking of writing a book on it one day...
This doesn't mean what I did was right - ponies need individuality and talents to make society better. Removing these talents just... doesn't work. It leaves ponies nearly lifeless. I just wonder if we didn't have marks telling us what our talents were, maybe we could branch out a bit more...
Anyway, there I was, little old me, convinced that cutie marks were of Tartarus. I made no secret of my feelings, and soon everyone knew of crazy Starlight and her anti-mark spiel. I decided early on that I personally would never get a cutie mark - that I would live free. A foolish idea, but I had plenty of childish determination.
The 'preaching' I did was probably the main reason I didn't make any more true friends - some ponies started to listen to my insane ideas, but they were more blind followers of my ideas than friends. It had begun...
"So that's when it really started." Trixie commented. "You got a crazy idea stuck in your head."
"Yeah... Hey you can't tell me you didn't have crazy ideas as a filly!"
"Become a showmare." Trixie smirked. "It's given me... mixed results."
"Not as mixed as mine... There's much more to the story..."
I had a handful of followers who thought I was onto something. I had already started the group, already putting ideas in the heads of others - even as a filly. Back then, I thought that was how it would always be.
Then I got my cutie mark.
I was talking to the other foals, suggesting that all we needed to do to avoid cutie marks was to refuse them. I was positive it'd work - I was the oldest pony I knew that hadn't gotten hers yet, and I held onto that fact with zeal. But then, I saw a manticore heading right for us - enraged about something. I don't know why he was mad, but I do know that I reacted right then and there, blasting him with an intense beam of my magic. I saved everyone - and they stamped in applause at my magic until they noticed my no longer blank flank.
I... I went home crying that day. My world had been shattered, my life ruined. The one thing I had condemned was now upon my flank, mocking me. You think I would have reevaluated my worldview at that point.
I am very stubborn...
The next day I grabbed a filly named Thyme and hit the library. She and I had only one goal - figure out how to remove the cutie mark. She had been the one to buy into my philosophy the most, and she was determined to help me keep it. Honestly, that wasn't good for either of us.
We kept at it for months. I discovered what my cutie mark meant in the process. It's a star undergoing a solar flare event - a cosmological event with a tremendous release of energy, like how I had a tremendous amount of magic to release at my will. I was literally a magical beacon. Upon discovering this most fillies would sign up for Celestia's school, but I refused - I hated the very idea of the place at that point. I refused to even acknowledge the idea.
Thyme got her cutie mark as we studies - turned out her talent was keeping things organized - but we kept at it. We didn't stop utnil we found an ancient tome buried under a floorboard, with red crystals all over it...
"That just screams 'evil artifact, do not touch' Starlight." Trixie noted.
"And you bought the Alicorn Amulet." Starlight reminded her, raising an eyebrow.
"Eh..." Trixie said, trying to find a way to turn the conversation into a win for her. She couldn't. "Fine. Point taken."
We were desperate at that point, so we dove into the dark tome. It was a book written by an old centaur on the art of removing magic - and I quickly found out that it could be applied to cutie marks with a few tweaks.
Thyme was there when I removed my cutie mark for the first time. it placed it in a jar and felt... free. I was so relieved that I didn't feel the emptiness at all. I was no longer bound by some foolish destiny. The presence of the equals sign brought peace to my young mind.
Then I tried to remove Thyme's, but couldn't. I had lost my talent. I needed it to cast the spell - and to keep the spell active. Without my power keeping them away, the cutie marks would all return to their original bodies. Removing mine was pointless - it would always return naturally. I was cursed to keep my own cutie mark because of a technicality. I was originally going to return to my followers and tell them I would sacrifice my free will to help them break away from their own destiny, but Thyme had a 'better' idea.
Lie. Say I had removed mine, but really just paint an equals sign on. Say the power came from a magic artifact made by some long forgotten ancient wizard. I followed this advice, and the Staff of Sameness was born. None of my followers save Thyme knew about my deception until the end.
I returned and started removing cutie marks. We were almost adults at that point, and some ponies began to take my ideas more seriously and actually give me some thought. I was evidentially a great speaker and had a dozen or so ponies utterly convinced I was right about cutie marks. We tried to convince the rest of the town, but they hated our ideas, and thought we were creepy and lifeless. They thought we were corrupting their children - which we were.
I eventually realized that we weren't welcome. I purchased some building supplies and led my followers - my ponies - into uninhabited territory. We built a town. I designed the layout, mirroring our equals sign. It took a house all to myself so I could have some privacy an hope no pony would see me reapply my fake equals sign.
The town was never given a name.
It was simply 'Our Town.'
Trixie looked at Starlight sadly. "That... Makes more sense. I'm sorry..."
"Nothing to be sorry about." Starlight said. "Besides, I hadn't started the actual brainwashing at that point... That happened a little later..."
Occasionally travelers would stumble into Our Town, but few would stay. They found the whole thing off and creepy most of the time.
We were completely open with them in those days, telling them everything. How all of us were equal, how we had no destiny chosen for us. Most ran away.
So one day I decided to try a bit harder, fed up with all the failures. I forced my ideas onto poor Party Favor with some magical coercion. He became the first of them to do that 'smile.' I didn't realize how disturbing that 'smile' was until much later..
He was merely the first.
After that I set up a system. I would forcibly take the cutie marks from individuals and indoctrinate them with magic. I eventually opted to leave the flashy and somewhat suspicious magic use in favor of the sound system. Repeating messages into ponies' minds day in and day out does wonders to a pony's psyche. It... it tears down their mental barriers, infusing 'truth' into their minds. It was brutal, but effective.
However, the conditioning seemed to wear off after a time, so I started to create rules. Specific hairstyles for everypony. A specific way to walk. A specific way to talk. A specific way to 'smile.' Copy the others in every way possible - that way they would stay indoctrinated. The others pressured them, and they stayed.
It was at that point I believe I had truly lost it. At that point it was no longer a mission to free others from destiny. I found that I liked having control and domination over their lives. It...
It was really bad. But it was also really easy - I learned to love horrible muffins and deal with substandard services - for as far as I was concerned, I had created a haven from the evils of cutie marks, and the world would thank me for helping everyone. When in reality... All I had done was make things worse.
I probably had a diagnosable mental condition, frankly.
Sometimes I would remove my own cutie mark just for a few seconds to feel what it was like. Never for longer, for I couldn't have the spell fading and all the cutie marks returning to their owners. But I did it just enough to know. I ignored the empty feeling it gave me and, over time, stopped removing my own cutie mark and accepted my position as ruler. As controller.
It was several years later when the Tree of Harmony sent Twilight and Co to Our Town, and they freed all the cutie marks.
You know how I swore revenge, tried to break time itself, and eventually saw the error of my ways. Looking back, I'm surprised at myself. I started with a misguided attempt to free ponies, and I ended up locking them in a different destiny, one much more horrible than the one I had 'saved' them from.
Perhaps my original ideas about destiny still have some merit - I've been talking to Twilight and the Crusaders about it. As I mentioned before, I'm thinking about writing a book on the topic. But I do know that what I did in that town was wrong, so wrong I can't even begin to describe. I trapped ponies in a horrible chain-link of equality.
I manipulated them all.
I even manipulated myself...
Starlight stopped the story and started to cry softly. Trixie moved in for a hug, and the two just sat there for a while embracing.
"...Thank you Trixie. I needed to get that - all of that - off my chest." Starlight wiped her eyes. "Sorry for burdening you."
"I asked." Trixie said. "Though I am wondering one thing."
"Oh?"
"What happened to Thyme?"
Starlight sighed. "She... kept her cutie mark removed. She had kept her cutie mark in the jar I put it in originally, when she was but just a filly. That cutie mark was never freed. And she didn't free it even when everyone else got theirs back - she kept the equals sign. When I went back to apologize, she accepted the apology, agreeing that my brianwashing was wrong - but... She refused to put her mark back on. I... I think I broke her Trixie. Beyond repair." Starlight sniffed.
Trixie frowned. "Starlight... Maybe what you did was wrong. Maybe ponies are not meant to be without cutie marks. But is she happy?"
"Well..." Starlight pondered this. "...Her smiles are genuine..."
"Then maybe, just maybe, the equals sign works for her. Maybe you did free her from a destiny of organizing pointless things."
"I... I guess so. Maybe you're right. You're a great friend Trixie."
"Pfft. You speak as if this is news to you. Trixie is nothing short of awe inspiring!"
Starlight laughed, and the mares went back to organizing Trixie's supplies...
Thyme looked at her cutie mark floating in the jar, mesmerizing her. It was a beautiful mark of a well constructed pyramid, each block in precisely the correct mathematical position, each level with exactly twice as many bricks as the one above.
"You sure you don't want to put it back on?" Double Diamond asked again.
"Yeah." She said. "This is my life now. This is whatI have chosen." She smiled - a large genuine smile. "I am happy. Maybe most ponies need their cutie marks. But I happen to like being a bit disorganized." She chuckled. "Life is more fun this way."
"If you say so." Double Diamond said, smiling back. "We're planning the Sunset festival soon..."
"Make sure to invite Starlight." Thyme reminded him.
"Wouldn't dream of excluding her."
