Snarky and the Dork

by Cursory Note

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Original Character
Length: 1534

A simple life of love and friendship for two Ponyville citizens: Sharp Wit and Keen Eye

Sharp Wit is a pegasus who works with the Ponyville weather team until her writing career gets off the ground and Keen Eye is an earth pony who makes hayburgers at the local fast food joint while working as a carpenter at the furniture shop. Both of them love their town of Ponyville, their friends, and each other. Life gets hard sometimes but these two will always find a way to work it out and be together.

Note: This is a collab with Action Stations so updates aren't going to be on a specific schedule, but they will come with a degree of regularity.

Published 2016-10-08 23:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-10-08 23:40:01 UTC

Has it Really Been Two Years?

The sun was shining over Ponyville as the leaves were beginning to turn for the fall. There hadn’t been any grave calamities in the last few days and ponies were going about their day cheerfully. At the cafe, a waiter was tending to a few ponies sitting outside on the patio, including two pegasi mares at their weekly get together.

Sharp Wit sighed into her hot chocolate and turned to the mare across the table, “You gotta help me, Ditz.” The cream pegasus threw up a hoof in frustration, “I have no idea what to get Keen for our anniversary!”

Ditzy Doo shrugged, “Maybe some muffins?”

“I dunno, we’ve been together two years, I want to get him something more special than muffins.” Ditzy’s face fell and Sharp smiled, “Thanks for the suggestion though.”

Ditzy lit up and gobbled the rest of her muffin, “No problem! I’m sure you’ll think of something in time!”

Sharp adjusted her glasses slightly, “I sure hope so, our anniversary is today!”

Ditzy grinned in her own way, “Today is your anniversary? That’s amazing! How long have you guys been together?”

Sharp Wit put a hoof to her chin, “Two years. Wow, really? It seems like so much longer than that.” She laughed, “I guess time doesn’t really fly when you’re in love.”

Both mares laughed until the clock chimed. Ditzy looked at the town clock and gasped, “Oh! I forgot about Dinky! I gotta pick her up from school! See you later Sharp!”

Sharp waved as Ditzy flew away towards the school, “Tell Dinky I said hi!”

She sighed as she tossed a few bits on the table and started walking towards the center of town. She had scoured every store in Ponyville that morning and found nothing that screamed Keen Eye, her special somepony of two years. She groaned in frustration as she walked through the town and struggled to think of something, anything that would be a good present for her stallion. Sharp saw Thunderlane working on busting a group of clouds and decided to ask for his advice.

She flew up to him and smiled, “Hey Thunder. How’s it going?”

Thunderlane smiled back, “Pretty good, I’m almost done with my shift. How are you?”

Sharp shrugged and bucked at a cloud fragment behind her, “I’m okay, I could use your advice though.”

He cocked his head, “My advice? Really?”

She laughed, “Yeah. You’re one of my best friends, I mean seriously, I know you so well I can practically read your mind.”

The two pegasi began flying towards some other clouds as Thunderlane frowned, “You can’t read my mind.”

Sharp raised her eyebrow, “I totally can.”

He crossed his forelegs, “Oh yeah? What am I thinking about right now?”

The mare deadpanned, “Tacos.”

Thunderlane’s jaw dropped before he narrowed his eyes, “Okay you got that right but how about now?”

“Still tacos.”

He glared, “Well how about-”

Sharp rolled her eyes, “It’s still tacos. It’s always gonna be tacos.”

Thunderlane huffed and they both chuckled. He started bucking a cloud and asked, “So what do you need help with?”

She sighed, “I don’t know what to get Keen Eye for our anniversary and it’s tonight. If I don’t come up with something soon I’m going to be the worst marefriend ever. You got any ideas?” She looked at him with pleading eyes.

The stallion thought for a second and shrugged, “Sorry, but I don’t know either. I don’t know Keen all that well, he’s only been living here for a couple years.”

Sharp huffed, “You’re useless to me! Useless I say!”

Thunderlane rolled his eyes, “Yeah but you still love me.” He fluttered his eyes at her and she rolled her eyes.

Sharp spotted Princess Twilight down on the ground and decided to ask her for some princessly advice. She turned to Thunderlane and gave him a quick punch on the shoulder, “Thanks anyway, see you later Thunder.” Thunderlane waved as she landed a few yards away from Twilight.

Sharp walked a few steps closer and bowed, “Good afternoon, Princess Twilight.”

Twilight smiled, “Hey Sharp, how are you?”

The pegasus smiled back, “I’m fine, but I could use some advice.”

The princess cocked her head, “Is everything okay?

Sharp waved her hoof, “Yeah, yeah, I just need some help coming up with a present for my coltfriend’s and my anniversary.”

Twilight grinned, “Congratulations! How long have you been together?”

“It’s been two years.”

Twilight nodded, “That’s great, I’m so happy for you guys.” She thought for a second, “Well I don’t know your coltfriend but I know I always appreciate a good book!”

Sharp put a hoof to her chin, “A book? I hadn’t even thought of that. What book would he like…” Her face exploded into a grin, “Of course! I have this book I got in Canterlot that he’s been drooling over for months! I’ll get him a copy of that!” She blasted into flight as she called, “Thanks Princess!”

Everything was perfect. Sharp had wrapped up Keen Eye’s present in a nice blue box, she had put on the strawberry lotion he liked, and she was ready to pick him up. They were going to go to a nice restaurant that specialized in desserts after a nice walk through White Tail Woods. Sharp didn’t usually like wearing dresses, but tonight she had on a black and purple floral pattern she’d found at a flea market.

She was brimming with excitement as she walked to Keen Eye’s house and smiled tenderly when her stallion walked outside to meet her. He had trimmed his blonde beard and moustache very nicely and was wearing Sharp’s favorite black shirt. They hugged as soon as they were close enough and kissed each other tenderly.

Keen smiled at his date, “You’re pretty.”

Sharp nuzzled him, “You’re pretty.”

He shook his head and started walking towards the woods. The late afternoon cast a soft glow on the terrain as they walked and talked about nothing in particular. A chill wind blew past them and Sharp pushed her wing into Keen’s side to keep warm. Every now and again she would look up at Keen’s face and wonder how in Equestria she wound up with such a perfect stallion. The sun began to set just as they walked back into Ponyville. They had planned on browsing a few shops in the town on the other side of White Tail Woods but they were all closed when they got there so they went back home.

Keen frowned, “I’m disappointed. I really wanted to show you the candy store they have over there.”

Sharp Wit smiled, “We can always go back.”

The earth pony shrugged, “Yeah I guess.”

She cocked her head, “You wanna go drown our sorrows in cheesecake?”

Keen nodded, “Let’s go drown our sorrows in cheesecake.”

They walked to the restaurant and were surprised to immediately get a table even though it was a Friday night. They both were carrying their presents in their saddlebags and once they had ordered their appetizers, Sharp gestured to hers.

“When do you wanna do presents?”

The tan stallion shrugged, “Whenever you want. We can do them before dessert, after, we could do them now if you want.”

The pegasus nodded, “I mean we don’t have anything in the way right now.” Keen Eye nodded and Sharp continued, “Open yours first.”

Keen chuckled, “Okay.” He tried to open the box but it was taped shut. He playfully glared at Sharp, “You just like making things difficult.”

Sharp chirped, “Yup!”

Finally he got the box open and grinned, “You got me the book?” He pulled it out of the box and read the title, “Monsters of the Everfree Forest, by D. Master, the Wizard of the Coast. Fifth edition.” He stood up and walked around the table to hug Sharp.

“You really like it?” She asked.

He nodded and kissed her, “I love it. Thank you so much, Baby.” He pushed his present, a small box with a black bow, across the table to her and smiled.

Sharp raised an eyebrow and opened the box, gasping at the beautiful necklace inside. She pulled it out and examined it while Keen Eye explained.

“It’s an aquamarine. There’s also a diamond up here in the setting.”

Sharp Wit wiped a tear out of her eyes and looked closer at the pale blue stone. She looked up at Keen and smiled, “It’s beautiful. Thank you so much.”

He stood, “Here, let me put it on.”

She handed him the necklace and he tenderly hooked the clasp under her pale blue mane. Sharp stood and faced him, more tears of joy threatening to spill.

“How does it look?”

Keen gave her the warm smile that made her feel safe and warm inside and nodded, “It looks amazing. Do you like it?”

Sharp nodded and buried her face in his chest. They embraced for a moment before Keen lifted her face with a hoof and kissed her.

He stared into her eyes and smiled, “Happy anniversary, my love.”

Sharp Wit sighed and put a hoof to his cheek, “Happy anniversary, Baby.”