A Basket, A Blanket, and a Bundle of Bills

Chapters

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Epilogue
Chapter 4

Chapter 1

A basket, a blanket, and a bundle of bills was all that Copperquick saw when he looked down. Well, perhaps not a literal bundle of bills, but this was going to be costly, or so he reckoned. Pinned to the basket was a note with a few scant words scribbled and left for him to read. Lowering his head to the point of his snoot touching the paper, he read what the words had to say.

I can’t deal with all of this. You can have her. I’m sick of her crying and constant need.

From beneath the blanket, there was a curious cooing sound and Copperquick felt a heaviness in his heart. Using his teeth, he pulled back the blanket and looked at his daughter. He had met her once, a while ago, not long after she was born, and then he never saw her again. She was the consequence of his feather fetish and a one night stand with a pegasus mare named Cielo del Este. He didn’t even know his daughter’s name, or if she even had one. The note said nothing else.

Lowering his head a little more, Copperquick pushed his muzzle into the filly’s belly, snuffled a bit, and was rewarded with a giggle. She looked a lot like him, so very much like him. Copper coloured pelt, bright amber eyes, the only thing she got from her mother was her mane, which was a stunning shade of jade. Copperquick’s own mane was the same unexciting brown as a graham cracker. He felt little stubby legs kicking him around his face.

Ears perking, Copperquick pulled his head away and thought about how he needed to be at work in half an hour. He didn’t know what to do with the filly in the basket. Leaving her home alone wasn’t a good option. Perhaps… perhaps he could carry her around with him with as he did his deliveries. That was a temporary solution though, as he had college courses he had to take at night. He needed a foalsitter, but had no idea of how to even go about looking for one.

At the moment, the filly didn’t seem hungry and she didn’t seem to need to be changed. He had never changed a diaper and he had no idea how to feed her. What did she eat? He doubted that she would do well on his steady diet of black bean avocado burgers. Foals needed milk he seemed to recall. He had some powdered coffee creamer in the cupboard, but he doubted that it would do.

There had been some serious chemistry between Cielo del Este and himself. She was an exotic dancer that did work with Sapphire Shores. A pegasus, she had the wings, the feathers that turned him on. And while she was a fantastic dancer and real nice to look at, he had been real glad to be rid of her by morning. She was snobby, she was stuck up, and she whined a lot. She was a real needy type of mare, and she was the sort that a struggling college student would have a hard, hard time keeping up with. His little fling with her had cost him a fortune in food and champagne, leaving him broke for weeks.

Snorting, Copperquick tried to figure out what had happened, what had gone wrong on that night so long ago. He had pulled out early and she had finished him off with a wingjob. He looked down at the filly looking up at him and smiled. She was kind of cute and seeing her smiling, chubby face, he didn’t feel much in the way of regret. He and Cielo del Este had remained amicable during the pregnancy, speaking a few times, and he kept track of the dates. They had agreed to go their separate ways.

But this happened.

“What do I do with you?” Copperquick asked in a soft voice, hoping that he wouldn’t make her cry. Crying foals were bad, bad enough that their mother would abandon them, it seemed. He didn’t want her to start crying.

“Flublubbloo?”

Ears splaying out, he replied, “Is that so?” Copperquick was thankful for the basket, he had one less thing to worry about, as she had something she could sleep in. Her little muzzle was slick with drool and she was an adorable little pudgeball. How did one pick up a foal exactly? He was an earth pony and he didn’t have fancy magic or wings with grabby, grippy feathers.

“It’s bring your daughter to work day!” Copperquick made his voice sound as cheerful as possible and he gave his little filly a wide, toothy smile. “You’re going to come to work with Daddy, it’ll be fun.”

“Duhwhah?” The filly blew a spit bubble, which popped, and then soaked her face. She lay there, blinking, surprised by what had just taken place, and then began to blow another spit bubble.

“I’ll take you out to lunch… it’ll be great. I wonder if you like sweet potato fries… or maybe a milkshake might be good for you. I’ll ask the guy behind the counter, I’m sure he’ll know.” Copperquick’s head tilted off to one side. “I bet I can sneak you into my college classes in a bookbag. Can you promise to be quiet?”

“Flerpity!”

“Is that a no?” Copperquick began to feel a vague sense of worry. “Well, I’ll figure something out. I gotta go to work… I have a hungry mouth to feed, and it ain’t my own.”

With the basket held in his mouth, Copperquick looked up at the sign for PDQ Dispatch. So far, so good. No foal crying, just lots of spit bubble blowing. His job wasn’t much, but it almost paid the bills, so long as he took up any odd job he could find and if he scrounged for additional income. He had a good job, and he liked it. There was nothing finer than getting paid to run all over the city of Canterlot.

It took a little effort, but Copperquick managed to wrangle the door open and he stepped inside of the dispatch lobby. In the dispatch window, he saw his boss, a griffon named Gargle, and for some reason, Gargle didn’t look happy to see him like he usually did. Copperquick wondered what was wrong.

What a relief it was to set down the basket and rest his mouth. Copperquick flapped his lips and watched as his boss gave him the stinkeye. The griffon was staring down at the basket, where a cooing sound and farty lip noises could be heard. The earth pony began to sense that something was wrong.

“What’s that?” Gargle asked.

“My daughter,” Copperquick replied.

“And what is she doing here? She is not an employee.”

“Well, she was dropped off in front of my apartment door this morning and I—”

“You can’t bring her to work.” Gargle shook his head and squinted his eyes at Copperquick.

“I can’t?”

“No. You can’t. Do you know what the insurance guys would do to me if you tried carrying her around with you while you are on the clock?”

“But I don’t have a foalsitter and—”

“I don’t care.” Gargle held out his talons. “Save your sob story for somebirdy who cares. Company policy is simple. Show up for work on time, or be fired.”

“But… but… I’m in college and I need to take care of her!”

“Don’t care. Do your job or get lost.”

“What do I do with her?” Copperquick demanded in a harsh tone as his dander got up.

“What you do with her is your own business. I don’t care. You need to be on the clock in three minutes, or you know what will happen. Remember what I said when I hired you, NO EXCUSES! I don’t care if you have exams, or if you spent all night studying, or you went to some college party and drank a lot… I just don’t care. I’ve heard it all a million times—”

“But this is different!”

“No it ain’t. Foalsitters exist for a reason. Two minutes.”

“Gargle, don’t do this to me. Don’t be a bastard. I—” Copperquick fell silent when the dispatch window was slammed shut. A protective barrier to prevent robberies now blocked the griffon from view. “Well, fine, Gargle, you can go fronk yourself for all I care, you damn greedy griffon!”

There was no reply from behind the protective barrier. Copperquick stood there in shock, trying to process what had just happened. Feeling a little numb, the earth pony stallion picked up the basket in his teeth, turned around, and headed out the door, which was a real challenge to open and close with his mouth full and the basket in the way.

Outside, a block away, sitting in a small city park, Copperquick tried to figure out what to do. The foal was getting fussy and he feared that she might start crying. Was she hungry? He didn’t know. He didn’t know anything about her. She didn’t have a name. Maybe… maybe it would be better if he cut his losses. There was the fire department. He could leave her there.

Scowling, he didn’t like thinking about that. But perhaps it was for the best. If he got rid of her now, before he was attached to her, it would hurt less. Thinking about it made the corner of his eye twitch and his stomach gurgled as his insides clenched. His nostrils crinkled as something foul tickled his nose.

“Ugh, somepony needs a diaper changed.” Copperquick realised that he didn’t have a diaper. He didn’t even know how to change one. Like a siren wailing, the filly began to cry, hearing her cry, Copperquick broke down almost right away, and began blubbering as he sat in the park, trying to figure out what to do.

The pair cried together and Copperquick hugged the basket to him. He didn’t want to take her to the fire department. The thought of it made him want to curl up and die. But he didn’t know what else to do. He had just lost his job. In a month, he was going to lose his apartment. Bills were due and he had college.

Perhaps it would be best to cut his losses. Lifting his head, Copperquick prepared himself to do the right thing. He had no idea what he was doing, and he wasn’t cut out to be a father. The filly deserved better, she needed a loving caretaker that knew what they were doing. Gripping the basket handle in his teeth, it was the heaviest thing that Copperquick had ever picked up.

“You there… yes, you…”

The biggest mare that Copperquick had ever seen was addressing him. She was an earth pony, white, almost gleaming, and she towered over him. She was enormous. Colossal. She had legs like tree trunks. She was absolutely terrifying for some reason. It felt as though her eyes were boring into his very soul.

Eyes narrowing, the mare said, “Don’t be a quitter. I don’t like quitters.”

With his mouth full, Copperquick couldn’t say anything. He stood there and raised his eyebrows in an attempt to communicate. Frozen with fear, he was unable to put the basket down. How had she known what he was thinking? Where had she come from? Why was she here? What did she want from him? His earth pony senses, which he had always ignored for the most part, now tingled in a most alarming way.

“My name is Helianthus. You look like you are in a spot of trouble. Due south from this park, walk five blocks, take a right at the bakery that makes the sun cookies, and walk for two blocks. You’ll see a rundown and dilapidated building. It will say ‘Foal Services’ on the big cornerstone that you will find on your way to the doors. Once you are there, ask for help. Request to speak to Twilight Velvet.”

“Othay,” Copperquick said around the basket handle.

“Don’t give up.” Helianthus’ face looked very stern. “If you do, we shall meet again, and you won’t like it. Remember, Twilight Velvet.” The big white earth pony with a sunflower cutie mark pivoted her ears forwards and her expression shifted to one of concern. “A father’s love can change the world. Never forget that. Best of luck to you.”

Copperquick nodded and the foal in the basket turned into a shrieking banshee. The stink was getting pretty bad and she was just inches away from his nose. He watched as the big white mare made a gesture, telling him to go. Turning about, he faced the south, and he made his way down the sidewalk, doing as he was told. The big mare was just too commanding to refuse.

“Good luck… and perhaps we’ll meet again,” Helianthus said as she waved goodbye.

Author's Note

This was made with almost no planning. It just sort of hit me last night and I started piecing the story together. It'll be short, only a few chapters.

If this is your first encounter, welcome to the Weedverse! It is a collection of stories about personal growth and progress, with a focus on positivism.

I would love to hear your opinions on the issues presented in this story, but please, keep them respectful and polite. Thanks!

Chapter 2

Ramshackle. Derelict. Dilapidated. Condemned. All of these words could be used to describe the foal services building. The cornerstone of the building had a brass face over it and Copperquick wondered what the building used to be before it was repurposed. He didn’t have the luxury of time to think about it though, as the filly was now a shrieking siren of misery.

The basket, made of cheap materials, was already disintegrating. Parts of it flaked off in his mouth, leaving behind a bitter flavour that disgusted him. Moving with haste, he made his way to the large front door of the building. Much to his surprise, it was not stairs, but a switchback ramp that lead up to the door, which was elevated off of the sidewalk. The condition of the doors was not reassuring. One door, which had decayed off of its hinges, had been secured into place with support beams and lots of nails. The other door, the hinges and the wood were in such bad shape that it appeared as though it could fall off at any time.

If a foal was left at the fire department, did it come here? Is that why foals were left at the fire department or some other public service building? Because any pony coming to this place would see how bad it was. Summoning his courage, Copperquick made his way through the door, which creaked open at his touch.

The ceiling was a confusing, chaotic mess of steam pipes and brass conduits. The walls were coming down, the wainscotting was rotten in many places, water stained, and in some places, it was gone completely, revealing grey stone. The scent of mildew was heavy in the air. There was a long dark hallway with a somewhat brighter alcove some ways in.

The wailing sound of the foal echoed up and down the hallway, causing Copperquick to wonder how long it took before a foal starved to death. He began to wonder if anypony was even here, or if this place was abandoned. As he approached the alcove, a pony stepped into view. Squinting, he got himself a better look as he continued forward through the dim hallway.

The pony appeared to be an older filly or a young mare. She was wearing a cardigan sweater, which was smart, because it was chilly in here, she had big square glasses upon her face, and her dark brown or black mane was drawn up into a big messy bun that spilled out everywhere. She was the colour of buttermilk, a distinctive yellow-white.

“Oh, hello,” the pony said as she moved down the hall, “What a powerful set of lungs that little foal has!”

“I need help,” Copperquick replied in a frantic voice after he set the basket down upon the floor.

“My name is Miss Oddbody and I—ew!” The pegasus, and it was clear that she was a pegasus, came to a halt and her muzzle crinkled in disgust. “Somepony made a stinky!”

“I don’t know how to change a diaper. Or feed her. Or do anything. She just showed up in front of my apartment door this morning.” Feeling stupid, Copperquick just stood there. “I was told to speak to Twilight Velvet.”

“Okay!” Miss Oddbody smiled. “A few things real fast! Mrs. Velvet is not here at the moment, but she should be returning. I need your explicit permission to touch the foal before I can help you. Now, would you please, please, please give me the permission I need because it smells SOOOOOOOOO bad!”

“You have my permiss—” Copperquick never got a chance to finish. Miss Oddbody and the basket just vanished. She was quick. She was Wonderbolts quick. He wasn’t even sure where she went. Blinking, he craned his head and looked around.

He took a few more steps and walked into the alcove proper. A battered looking desk, some chairs, a ratty looking sofa, and a stained floor with rough stone in desperate need of polishing. There was a little sign on the desk telling visitors to ring the bell for service, but there was no bell. With nothing else to do, he sat down on the couch to wait.

Maybe fifteen minutes to perhaps a half an hour later, Miss Oddbody returned. The basket was gone and the foal was in a proper carrier which she had around her neck. The filly was a little damp, but clean and fresh looking. When Miss Oddbody came into the room, she brought the smell of foal powder and soap with her. She pulled the carrier from her neck and set it down upon the floor near the couch. She picked up the squeaky clean filly, hugged her, and then turned to face Copperquick on the couch.

Humming to herself, she pushed Copperquick back on the couch, then, without warning, she slipped the foal into Copperquick’s forelegs, leaving him both startled and surprised. Using a wing, she popped the pacifier out of the filly’s mouth and stuck it right into Copperquick’s. Before the filly could start to cry or protest, the nipple of a bottle was slipped between her lips and the bottle itself was placed in her forelegs. Content, the filly lay back in her father’s embrace, and fed.

“Whew, that was easy!” Miss Oddbody said in a voice that held far too much enthusiasm.

Unable to reply, Copperquick was stuck holding the pacifier in his mouth.

“Okay, she has a bit of diaper rash and she shows a few signs of neglect, but we can fix that! And no, I am not accusing you, so don’t get the wrong idea.” Miss Oddbody booped Copperquick on the nose and then gave him a reassuring smile. “These signs of neglect take a while to set in and you said she was placed in front of your door this morning. Now, don’t be angry either, we can make her well again. Well, you can make her well and I will do what I can to help you, if Mrs. Velvet assigns me to your case, which I am positive that she will.”

Copperquick was forced to wonder when Miss Oddbody took time to breathe.

“Thank you so much for coming to us for help!” With a swift movement of her wing, the pegasus uncorked Copperquick’s mouth, allowing him to talk again. “Now, tell me about yourself. Why are you here?”

“I need help,” Copperquick replied, realising that the pacifier had been strategically used to keep him silent for a time. “I don’t know what I’m doing, I’ve never cared for a foal before, I just lost my job because I couldn’t do my deliveries, I have college classes tonight, and without a job, I’m going to be evicted in a month.”

“Oh my!” Miss Oddbody’s smile wavered for a moment and for a second, it appeared as though her eyes glittered with rage. “Oh my goodness! We can’t have that at all! A young single father homeless…” the pegasus’ volume dropped a fair bit. “Oh dear… oh… oh bother, I don’t have a script to follow for this. In fact, I’ve never had even one single single father come into this place. Should I use the standard script for mares?” Using her hoof, she scratched her chin.

“Um, Miss, if you ain’t offended by me asking, but how many cups of coffee have you had today?” Copperquick asked.

“Seventeen cups of Celestial Glory tea so far! It’s very invigorating! At night, I drink Lunar Lullaby to help me sleep! And I need sleep to help me be an enthusiastic go getter! Because Twilight Velvet demands one hundred and eleven percent from me at all times!”

Terrified, Copperquick just nodded and held his daughter.

“Being a single mom—parent! Yes, parent! Being a single parent is tough—I can adapt the script, yes I can. We can help you obtain various services to help you through this difficult period of adjustment and then help you transition into parenthood.”

Miss Oddbody lept up onto the couch beside Copperquick and checked out the filly, seeing how much she had suckled from the bottle. “She’s pudgy, but not nearly pudgy enough for her age. She’s burned through too much of her foal fat. It’s distressing. Mrs. Velvet might become mildly unprofessional for a moment or even an hour when she sees that.”

Copperquick thought of the note and how it mentioned the constant crying. He also felt a spark of anger, but there wasn’t much he could do about it. Cielo del Este was a very busy mare. Maybe there just wasn’t enough time in her day. He tried to muster some sympathy and failed, as he had a pretty good idea of how she was.

“Look at her, I think she likes you.” Miss Oddbody fawned over the filly for a moment, then, lifting her head, she looked Copperquick in the eye. “It’s gonna be tough. It’s gonna be the toughest time you ever had in your life. When she becomes a yearling, it’ll be a little easier in some ways, but even harder in others. But it will be totes worth it, do you know why?”

“Why?” Copperquick was desperate for some kind of hope to cling to.

“Because, little fillies worship their daddies and that’s awesome!” Miss Oddbody’s impressive volume made Copperquick’s ears quiver and pivot. “I love my sweet Daddums… he’s working two jobs to put me through university and him and Moomy write to me every week.”

“Uh huh.”

“Oh wow, she’s a drinker.” The powerfully perky pegasus mare looked impressed as she checked out the bottle, which was almost empty. “She’s still going. I think she’s gonna finish it. That much formula… POO-BOMB!”

Copperquick almost lept right off of the couch because of the sudden outburst.

“KABLOOEY!”

“Miss Oddbody! Poo-bomb… really?” A middle aged mare walked into the alcove and shook her head while smiling. She was wearing a heavy brown coat, battered, wrinkled, and covered with pockets. An ancient fedora sat at a rakish angle on her head.

“He needs help!” Miss Oddbody sucked in a deep breath and then just blurted out, “Mrs. Velvet, he’s a single father that just had this foal show up in front of his door this morning, he lost his job, he has no idea how to care for a foal, he has no income, the foal shows signs of neglect, and he has college classes tonight.”

“Oh,” Twilight Velvet breathed in a calm sort of way. Her eyes glittered and then a pleased smile spread across her lips. “A single father in need of help. I was just wondering when this opportunity would present itself. Might I have your name, sir?”

“Copperquick.”

“Well, Mister Copperquick, do not be troubled. Oh, things will be rough, there will be a lot of messy diapers, some screaming, and some scary times, but everything will be okay.” Twilight Velvet focused upon Miss Oddbody. “Buttermilk Oddbody, you are assigned to—”

“YES! YES! YES!” Leaping from the couch, the pegasus pronked around the office.

“Oh dear… she’s approaching the twenty cup of tea threshold,” Twilight Velvet deadpanned. She tossed her hat upon the desk and then began removing her coat, slipping out of it in a well practiced shimmy. “Dearie, do calm down!”

“WEEEEEEEEEEE! I need a cup of tea!” Squealing like a teakettle, the pegasus pronked right through a doorway and vanished, but her squeal lingered on.

“If she’s not careful, she’ll pronk her glasses right off again.” Twilight Velvet stared at the door through which her assistant vanished for several seconds, then turned her head to look at Copperquick. “If I had an army of ponies just like her, I could fix the foal crisis that Equestria currently faces.”

“That bad, eh?” Copperquick squeezed the tiny bundle in his forelegs and realised that the bottle was empty.

So did Twilight Velvet. She walked over, lifted the bottle in her magic, floated it over to the desk, set it down, and then lifted up the filly from Copperquick’s forelegs. A clean towel was conjured, placed over the stallion’s shoulder, and then, before he realised what was going on, he was holding his daughter again.

“Pat her back until she burps. Then praise her.”

“Okay.” Copperquick nodded and then began patting the tiny filly on the back with his folded fetlock.

“Don’t be shy about it, she’s a little earth pony. Slap that gas right out of her. But not too hard, of course.” Twilight Velvet smiled and then began to examine the little filly held by her father. After a few seconds, the smile vanished and she looked very stern. The corner of her eye twitched in a most alarming way, and then the mare pulled herself away.

“Mister Copperquick, I need your help,” Twilight Velvet began in a low voice that sounded a little gritty, as though she needed a drink or perhaps a cup of soothing tea. “You came to me during a time of reform. There has been social upheaval in Equestria and we are doing things in new and exciting ways now.”

“What can I do?” Copperquick asked.

“Get help for your daughter. Keep her, and never let go. I need you to fight for her.”

“I don’t follow.” Copperquick frowned and tried to understand what was being said to him.

“We have some laws that protect and aid single mothers, but no such laws exist for single fathers. I aim to change that. But I need a single father willing to challenge the system. I won’t lie, it’s gonna be tough. It’s probably going to be degrading and all manner of unpleasantness will take place. But… if you help me…”

“You’ll help me?” Copperquick’s ears pivoted around and he focused on the mare speaking to him.

“Well, I will help you no matter what, but you have a chance to help others.” Twilight Velvet gave the earth pony stallion a hopeful look. “I will assign Miss Oddbody to help you. She will foalsit tonight while you go to school. She will stay with you, I assume that you have a reasonably comfortable couch. She is a light sleeper and if that foal so much as farts in her sleep, she will wake up and check on it. Starting right now, you will have a full time job, but it doesn’t pay anything. It’s going to be an awful job. You will be waiting in lines and trying to push through red tape. Miss Oddbody will help you. Reform has to begin somewhere. You help me, and I will do everything I can to help you.”

“A full time job that pays nothing?” Copperquick gave Twilight Velvet a good natured smile. “Do I get a job title?”

“Typically, we call this position ‘Daddy,’ but there are some options.” The middle aged mare’s smile returned.

“WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” Miss Oddbody went whizzing by, her wings buzzing like a hummingbird’s as she flew a few feet above the floor, a cup of steaming tea held between her front hooves, which she somehow did not spill. She vanished through another doorway saying, “I can fly, it’s amazing!”

Shaking her head, Twilight Velvet rubbed her neck with her hoof and said, “Tell me, Mister Copperquick, have you ever seen a squirrel trapped in a pegasus’ body before?”

Author's Note

Ever been mildly annoyed by one of your own characters?

Chapter 3

It was now late afternoon and the little filly was sleeping. Copperquick found himself back in the park where he started, feeling a little bewildered, but happy. He was loaded down like some pack beast, but that was okay. Diapers, formula, foal stuff, and of course, his daughter. Miss Oddbody was loaded down as well. She was humming to herself, and Copperquick found that he liked her a great deal, even if she was a little overcaffeinated.

The filly needed a name, but Copperquick had no idea what to call her. Nothing came to mind. She was sleeping now, the filly, snug in her carrier, and she seemed happy enough. Something about her was precious to him and he tried not to think about everything she needed—doing so would only cause him to become overwhelmed. A crib, toys, her own room—his apartment was tiny, perfect for a poor college student in Canterlot, but terrible for a father of one.

There were far too many things he didn’t have answers to. Where was the rent money for next month coming from? How was he going to buy food? He didn’t have much in the way of groceries at home, he bought his meals out. Cooking was a time investment that he didn’t have, along with cleaning. He was always working, in school, studying, or sleeping.

“So, tell me about yourself!” Miss Oddbody said in cheerful voice that startled Copperquick. “You have an interesting cutie mark, I’ve never seen one like that before. Is that a bowler hat?”

Copperquick gave his head a nod. “Yep. That’s a bowler hat.”

“So, how does a pony get a bowler hat cutie mark? I’m dying to know!”

“Well, this pony was a late bloomer. I was content to just make my way through life with no real plan. I wasn’t like the other foals my age. I didn’t have my life figured out and my cutie mark came late. But I didn’t feel a big hurry about it either. I didn’t mind just being myself and not having a mark.”

“Oh. Yeah, more ponies should be happy just being themselves.”

Smiling, Copperquick looked down at his daughter. “One day, I decided that what I did wasn’t as important as being happy. I figured that I could do most anything an earth pony could do. I was an average student, not much that really stood out, I was perfectly average in every conceivable way. I didn’t get the best grades, but I didn’t flunk out on any classes either. So, this plan formed—I will remain perfectly average. I’ll become a banker, or an accountant, or I’ll go into marketing, or sales, it didn’t matter what I did, not really. I figured that I would become just another member of the workforce, one of the many workers that keep the world moving and keep society running. I finished secondary school, went to college, and right now, I am doing general education with an undeclared major.”

“But what about your cutie mark?” Miss Oddbody asked.

“Oh, oh yes, that… well, that showed up about the same time I formed my plan to remain average and become a well respected member of the labour force.” Copperquick bounced the foal hanging from his neck and was rewarded with a whiff of new foal smell, which smelled a lot like powder and milk.

“So, you wish to be a well respected pony—”

“A pony that can be counted on to do his job of drudgery without complaint. I figure I’ll form an equinality when I’m retired and have money along with free time.”

The perky pegasus tilted her head off to one side, adjusted her oversized square glasses, and her ears perfomed gymnastic feats as she cogitated upon Copperquick’s words. After several minutes of total silence, she exploded. “Let’s go get coffee! I have a stipend for daily expenses and nothing has been spent today! Coffee! You’re a student! I’m a student! Students need coffee!”

“You never told me about yourself,” Copperquick said to his pegasus companion.

“Oh, not much to tell. My mother is a dairy farmer who makes soaps and cheeses and sometimes soapy cheeses when she hasn’t had enough sleep.” The pegasus shuddered and squeezed her eyes shut for a second. Opening her eyes once more, she continued, “My father, he pulls double duty in the postal service and selling life insurance. He’s a pegasus like me. Moomy is an earth pony, he saw her working in the field one day and came down to say hello, and she didn’t let him leave. She plied him with cheeses and hot buttery toast.”

“Well, that’s one way to get a stallion’s attention,” Copperquick remarked.

“I got a butter churn as a cutie mark, as I am sure you have noticed. Yes, I like butter. On everything. I woke up one day and wanted to make a difference. Went to university. Radicalised a bit. Got in trouble for radicalising a bit too much. Ended up in jail after a demonstration. Non violent protest, but I still got arrested. Daddums and Moomy couldn’t afford my bail. I thought I was up a creek without a paddle. Had exams coming. A very nice mare came and paid my bail, along with several others. The others turned down her offer, but not me. I knew a good thing when I saw it, and that’s how I came to be working for Mrs. Velvet.”

“So, she saved you?” Copperquick felt a little intrigued.

“She’s saving all of us,” Miss Oddbody replied. “She demands hard work. There is no on the clock or off the clock with Mrs. Velvet. A pony is always working. We have to close up the cracks, Mister Copperquick, every pony lost through them is an affront to basic equine dignity. I cannot just sit back and allow bad things to happen to good ponies. I chose to fight! Because I’m a pegasus! And we fight things… I guess… well, some of us! This is my fight and Mrs. Velvet points out a target and I go PUNCHY PUNCHY PUNCHY and try to make things right!”

The perky pegasus got up and began bouncing around the park on two legs, punching and boxing the air with her front hooves. It was an odd sight, with her cardigan sweater, her glasses, and her messy bun. For one so young, she embraced a sense of granny fashion, but moved like a prize fighter hopped up on performance enhancing sugar-snacks.

“Coffee!” Miss Oddbody cried as she took off, her wings buzzing.

Getting up, Copperquick set off at a brisk trot after his companion, thinking a cup of coffee might be nice

↼Quite some hours later⇁

The night was chilly in Canterlot as Copperquick walked home from his classes. He had some trouble concentrating at first, he was restless, but then he had settled down and was able to pay attention in class. He was hungry, but there were precious few bits left and he didn’t know where more bits would come from. He and Miss Oddbody had coffee and lunch earlier, and that had been his only meal for the day.

So many nights he had walked this same path, along this same street, and always as a student. Now, he walked down this sidewalk that he had followed home so many times as a father, and somehow, it felt different. There was a sense of urgency in getting home. The routine was the same, but the conditions had changed. Now, there was a great big gap in his day, from four PM to ten PM where he was not spending time with his daughter.

As he walked, he thought about school. He might need to drop out, but if he did, then what? Become a wage slave that spent most of his income on foal care and remained perpetually broke? Copperquick was just smart enough to realise how screwed he was. His many books slapped against his sides in his saddlebags and he wondered how he was going to study without being distracted. Upon getting home at approximately twenty after ten, it would be study time until at least one or two in the morning, then sleep, then going to work at seven to spend eight hours of his day working for a—he paused, coming to a stop. There would be no work come tomorrow morning.

It was like a slap in the face. Hot stinging tears filled his eyes and the cold, near frozen air of the night made the stinging sensation even more painful. Standing in the island of soft yellow light offered by a streetlamp, Copperquick broke down and began crying, unable to hold it in any longer. He was going to be home late tonight, at least ten thirty.

Opening his apartment door, Copperquick peered inside. Miss Oddbody had set up camp in his tiny, cramped living room. His foal was on a pallet of blankets on the floor, sound asleep. His new roommate was drinking tea and looking very, very relaxed. Creeping his way inside, he shut the door behind him and looked at his filly.

After several long seconds, he asked, “Is she breathing?”

“Wait,” Miss Oddbody whispered as she dove into her bag. She pulled out a book, then scowled. “Nope, that’s ‘Is He Breathing?’ and I need ‘Is She Breathing?’ for the worried father… hmm.” After rummaging around, the now quiet and calm pegasus pulled out a book and passed it to Copperquick.

The cover read, ‘Is She Breathing?’ Sitting down on the floor, he accepted the book and held in his front hooves. With a little effort, he flipped it open and read the first page. This was a book on common questions for new parents, as well as a source of reassurance for common fears, including what to do if a foal was not breathing.

“She hardly cries at all,” Miss Oddbody said in a voice as soft as a foal’s fresh washed blanket. “But she is far hungrier than most. I don’t know if it is because she is slightly malnourished, or if it is perhaps an earth pony quirk. New parents have to be careful which foal rearing books they buy, ‘cause precious wee widdle ones all have different physiologies and needs.”

Half listening, Copperquick nodded.

“So long as she stays full, she doesn’t cry at all. I’ve never had a foal be so quiet and well behaved… ever. She doesn’t like being poopy, and who can blame her, I don’t like being poopy either, and I don’t think she deals well with being hungry. The moment she starts to feel a little peckish, even just a little, she needs to be fed or else she becomes an alarm klaxon.”

Now paying a little more attention, Copperquick nodded again.

“We need to be up at six in the morning tomorrow,” Miss Oddbody said to Copperquick in a low, quiet voice. “The dole office opens up at seven and we need to see if we can get you enrolled in the relief fund for single mothers.”

Looking up from his book, Copperquick peered at his new roommate.

“See, the thing is, they made the relief fund for single mothers. Females. Mares. And fillies, who are raising a little filly of their own. Now, bureaucrats, being the soulless, spineless, sniveling creatures who are a slave to order that they are, well, they are going to notice that you aren’t a mare. But you would make a very attractive mare if you were, so don’t become distraught. I am not discriminating against your gender, I assure you.”

An exhausted half smile appeared on Copperquick’s muzzle.

“Because of the bureaucracy, the dole for single mothers is not handled by foal services, as it should be, but by the treasury wing of government niche offices connected to unemployment. The treasury wing is the last bastion of the old school conservatives and the authoritarians, the guard dogs of the Crown’s finances. They believe that social welfare is a form of social decay, and more social welfare is more social decay, they are quite hesitant to hand out anything, and everything comes with strings attached. Many of the treasury bureaucrats believe that society will be perfect when they are no longer required to have a job, as that means that the social decay has been addressed and dealt with. They are awful ponies, and I hate them just a teensy, tiny bit.”

“So, what you are saying is, preserving the state of the bureaucracy is more important than helping the citizens?” Copperquick’s eyes blinked in a rapid manner as he tried to understand the logic at work here. “Because I am not a mare, I do not qualify for aid, even though I am a parent in need?”

“Yup.”

“That’s asinine—”

“No swearing in front of your sweet little girl,” Miss Oddbody hissed in a very threatening manner. She held up a hoof and shook it at Copperquick. “Preserve her sweet innocence.” After a few more hoof shakes, she relented and then a serene smile spread over her muzzle. “I picked up a few groceries while you were gone. You don’t have much of a kitchen and you have a very tiny fridge, but I made it work. If you are hungry, I’ll fix ya something, but then you owe me in the rules of fair exchange.”

“I’m fine, thanks.” Copperquick stuck his nose into the book and didn’t even think about what he needed to study tonight. The book wasn’t very big, only fifty pages or so, and he was determined to read all of them. Foals needed constant care and attention, with regular feedings, and the book made it clear that questions were normal and healthy for new parents.

Sitting next to his daughter, Copperquick settled in for a good study session with the hopes that he could get a passing grade as a father.

Author's Note

Next chapter: bureaucratic drudgery and exotic dancers.

Chapter 5

The big white mare didn’t like quitters. Copperquick took a few minutes to think about what to do as he and Miss Oddbody took a break on the sidewalk. So many thoughts tumbled through his mind, so many questions, so many doubts and fears. As he sat on the sidewalk, Copperquick began to question his life, his values, and what few things he believed in.

“I fear I am losing my conservative nature,” he muttered as his ears splayed out.

“But… your bowler hat!” Miss Oddbody replied.

“I always thought the bureaucracy was a good system of checks and balances against excess, but I was never really well informed. I just… sort of… based my opinion off of what was in the newspaper. Right now, I feel degraded and… I don’t even know what it is that I am feeling.”

“This is why I radicalised.” Miss Oddbody’s voice was now quiet in a most curious sort of way. “I was just a silly little pegasus filly fresh off of the farm. I grew up in Tall Tale. It is a quiet little town, conservative, monarchists, good ponies. The local opinion crafters have ponies believing that leftism is a vote for Discord and chaos, and nopony wants chaos, so we all grow up learning to hate it, to despise it, and we believe that we are right, and if we are right, then by default, they are wrong. Sadly, most of them think that voting stinks of leftism too, and that the Princesses should tell us what to think, what to do, and that we should get rid of voting, because that invites chaos and disorder.”

“And what of bureaucracy?” Copperquick asked.

“It is seen as a filter of sorts, to save us from ourselves. A single pony is weak and prone to failure. Many ponies are strong and bureaucracy is viewed as the strength of unity. Herd-think. One of my professors calls it ‘the tyranny of the majority’ and I am inclined to agree.” Miss Oddbody shook her head. “A little education changed me. I don’t think I can ever go home again. One day, I woke up, and I realised that the two ponies that I love the most are painfully backwards.”

“That’s rough,” Copperquick said, feeling bad for his pegasus companion.

“I can’t even convince my parents that everything is broken. My Moomy thinks that once I finish university, I’ll come home, get married, and get myself sorted out before I make too many mistakes that I regret. She says that everypony dabbles in new ideas when they are young, but you have to grow up sometime.”

Ears perked, Copperquick listened.

“My parents call themselves compassionate conservatives. They donate to charity and they talk about how generous they are, and how much they give, but I can’t seem to get it through their heads that the bureaucratic system they support is the reason why these charities need to exist in the first place. If we had a better system that saved ponies from falling down, these charities would not be required. The fact that these charities are needed is evidence of system failure. This system keeps so many ponies poor… and my parents seem to think that donating a few bits now and then will just fix the whole of the problem. But my parents don’t see it as a problem. They got theirs. They’ve never faced agonising circumstances.”

Overwhelmed, Copperquick just sat there, calling into question everything he believed in up to this point. As his brain overloaded, he was stricken with an idea that made the confusing jumble in his mind fall away from him. He needed to go and see Cielo del Este. She would have the forms he needed, he was sure of it. It would be awkward, it might be painful, but that didn’t matter. There was a filly that needed him to pony up and be a dad.

“We need to go to Boardwalk Studios and see Sapphire Shores.”

“What?” Miss Oddbody looked confused. “We have important things that need done.”

“My filly’s mother will be there. We can get the documents we need from her. And then, I need to eat something, so lunch.”

“Well, let’s not waste any time. I have to check in with Mrs. Velvet by threeish, and it is noon right now.” Miss Oddbody slipped the filly back into her carrier and smiled. “She’s a good girl. I think she’s enjoying the grand day out.”

“Maybe, if we’re lucky, we’ll find out if she has a name.”

Boardwalk Studios was an impressive building, a mix of old and new architecture. Copperquick supposed the name worked even though there was no ocean for thousands of miles, as this was the home location for Sapphire Shores. It was a sort of thematic thing, he reckoned. Hanging from his neck, his daughter burbled, made farty sounds with her lips, and blew spit bubbles to amuse herself.

Taking a deep breath, Copperquick approached the tuxedoed guard at the door. He smiled, his ears pinned back, and in as polite of a voice as he could muster, he explained why he was here and what he needed. “I need to speak to Cielo del Este about our daughter. She is one of Sapphire Shore’s dancers. I need to recover a birth certificate, vaccination records, and a tribal registry. I’m not here to cause trouble or beg for autographs.”

The guard, saying nothing, stared at Copperquick and Miss Oddbody. After a few tense seconds, he stepped aside and the door opened. No expression or emotion showed upon the guard’s face as he gestured for them to go inside. Looking at the door, Copperquick felt relieved that this had gone so well so far.

“Thank you, thank you so much, you’ve made a rotten day better,” Miss Oddbody said.

This time, the guard did respond, and did so with a heavy Manehattanite accent. “We do what we can, when we can.” The guard smiled. “I knows dat foal. Get inside and talk to Sapphire Shores so yous can find out what’s up. You’s bound to be disappointed, but don’t worry. Everything will work itself out fine.”

“Disappointed?” Copperquick licked his lips and felt his frogs go sweaty.

“Bruddah,” the earth pony guard said to Copperquick, “Let Miss Shores set you straight. Cielo del Este is a jive-ass turkey!”

“Okay.” Taking a deep breath, Copperquick headed for the door. Wondering what he might learn, he made his way inside the building and as he stepped through the door, he was hit in the face by a powerful blast of air conditioning that blew his mane back and made his filly giggle.

Almost right away, Copperquick found himself beset by a gaggle of pegasi, all of whom were cooing at his daughter. He heard Miss Oddbody clearing her throat and with all of these wings around, Copperquick found himself in a very good mood indeed. Perhaps having a daughter wasn’t just a good a thing, but a great thing.

“Will you hussies move!” Sapphire Shores demanded as she sashayed through the mob. “You!” The fabulous earth pony singer pointed her hoof at Copperquick. “I knew you would be coming. Well, I have bad news for you, Sugar, Cielo del Este has flown the coop.”

“What?” Copperquick’s mouth fell open and his eyes went wide.

“That bitch freaked out and left town. She went to Las Pegasus. That skanky ass ho went off and broke contract. I have half a mind to send my boys after her and…” Sapphire Shores’ words trailed off and she clucked her tongue. “Suffice it to say, I’m angry.”

“Can we please not swear around the foal?” Miss Oddbody asked in a pleading voice.

“Ah, little Esmeralda Verde.” Sapphire Shores came forwards, lowered her head, and planted a kiss on the foal hanging from Copperquick’s neck.

“That’s her name?” Copperquick asked. “I don’t even know what means.”

“Well, my dancers and I called her that. Cielo called her something else. A lot of something elses. None of them nice. One of my dancers got sick of that nonsense, dragged Cielo outside, and beat the stuffing out of her a few days back. Blacked that bitch’s eye. Things got tense.”

“Oh.” Copperquick blinked a few times and then looked down at his daughter.

“Emerald Green. Esmeralda Verde means emerald green.” Sapphire Shores moved even closer to Copperquick. “So… you gonna be a daddy, eh?” The earth pony mare’s voice was breathy, silky, and sultry. “Single fathers are great… you know they put out.”

“Hey!” Miss Oddbody bowled into Sapphire Shores and pushed the much larger earth pony mare out of the way. “As a Crown appointed representative, I have to keep the environment safe, sound, and healthy for the foal.”

Grinning, Copperquick said, “I like Esmeralda Verde… it’s pretty.”

Also grinning, Sapphire Shores looked down at Miss Oddbody, who was several heads shorter. “I’m sorry, farmgirl, I’ll be on my best behaviour. This big city girl didn’t mean to offend your country sensibilities. Hows about I get in touch with you later and you can tell me what a bad pony I’ve been… after dinner.”

“N-n-no, th-th-that’s okay,” Miss Oddbody stammered as she backed away, her face turning bright red.

“Oh, come now, I could use a little butter on my bread and I’m hot enough to make you melt—”

“No!” Miss Oddbody ducked behind Copperquick and scowled up at the much larger earth pony mare. “Look, we came here hoping to find the mother and secure some papers. I am on the clock and this is not a visit for pleasure. I don’t mix business and pleasure, as I am a consummate professional.”

“My business is pleasure,” Sapphire Shores said in a purring voice and her dancers giggled. Tilting her head, she turned to look at the filly hung from Copperquick’s neck and her whole demeanour changed. “It’s not fair, what’s been done to you. Your mother is a real piece of trash, but it looks like you have a good daddy. A girl can’t ask for much more in life.”

“She was left in front of my door. I just lost my job. I’m trying to get help. I want to keep her and do what’s right. But it’s real hard and I don’t know what I’m doing. Miss Oddbody has saved me more times than I can count.” Copperquick looked around the room and saw the faces staring back at him. He saw understanding, sympathy, he saw recognition, and he felt better.

“Cielo paid to get illusion magics done to hide her condition from me because she was afraid of losing her job. She worked almost to the point of birth, then said she was sick with the flu. She was out for about a week, then showed up at work one day with this here adorable filly.” Sapphire Shores eyes narrowed and she shook her head. “Things got strained after that.”

“I would imagine so.” Miss Oddbody stepped out from behind Copperquick.

“We made it work somehow,” Sapphire continued, “trying to be real understanding, but Cielo wasn't the sort of pony that was easy to get along with. She was temperamental under the best conditions. A real showbiz type. She was already looking for agents and scouts with the hopes that she could get Esmeralda into the business, because let’s face it, that little filly is purty. Cielo started coming apart at the seams. Started molting from the stress. The cracks started showing.”

“And nopony helped her?” Miss Oddbody asked.

“No, at that point, she was a real bitch,” Sapphire replied.

“That’s sad and unfortunate.” Miss Oddbody took a moment to pluck away some lint from her cardigan sweater with her wing. The prim little pegasus was regaining her composure after being flustered and she also straightened out her glasses. As she worked to get herself straightened out, more of her mane slipped out of her bun and spilled around her face.

“Hey… why don’t the two of you stay and have lunch with us?” Sapphire Shores offered in a warm, sincere voice that also came with a smile. “We were about to have a lunch break. Catering brought over a huge meal… what can I say, we eat like horses. Stay with us. You can put Esmeralda down for a little nap. Cielo del Este was a real bitch, but we like Esmeralda.”

“I’d like that.” Copperquick’s voice was hesitant and he gave Miss Oddbody a hopeful look. He was starving and needed a good meal. This was a chance to get full, have a rest, and give his daughter a chance to nap.

“Well, I need to report in at three, and we have some time, so… yes. We would be very pleased to accept your invitation. Thank you, for your generousity.” Miss Oddbody bowed her head.

“I bet skinny li’l farmgirl eats like a horse,” Sapphire Shores said with a wry grin.

“Only after I’ve had to wrassle a heifer,” Miss Oddbody replied.

“OOOOH… daaaayum, you went there!” Sapphire Shores began chuckling and shook her head. “Oh, I like you. You gots sass, but it’s the classy kind. And you kinda has this whole sexy librarian thing going on. Come on, let’s go and eat. Today the catering crew brought curry and a whole mess of fried frittery thingies.”

“I… I do not look like a sexy librarian!” Miss Oddbody’s face turned a garish shade of bright pink. “I am a responsible, well dressed young professional!”

“Mmm hmm.” Sapphire nodded and made a gesture to be followed. “Professional librarian. Somepony gonna wanna check out your books, farmgirl.”

“Ugh, well, I never—”

“Well then, you should! It feels good!” Cawing with laughter, Sapphire Shores led the group off to lunch. “Don’t believe me, ask baby daddy over there… he’ll set you straight. You know he done sampled the goods, and daaayum, if he don’t make a pretty baby. Make a mare think, a pretty foal like that.”

Fearing for his life, Copperquick hurried after Sapphire Shores and didn’t dare meet the gaze of Miss Oddbody.

Author's Note

As promised, exotic dancers.

Chapter 6

Two thirty in the afternoon, soon to be three o’clock. Esmeralda was now well rested, more so than her father, who was starting to show signs of exhaustion. Lunch was finished. Miss Oddbody had to meet Twilight Velvet at three, and Copperquick had to be in class by four. The day, which had already been a long one, was starting to feel short on time.

“I’m glad you joined us, both of you,” Sapphire Shores said in a smoky, sultry voice. She took a moment to look at Miss Oddbody, studying her, and her eyes narrowed, but not in a seductive way. “Miss Oddbody… I hope that you get what you want. You deserve it.”

The pegasus, who looked a little more refreshed and had a fresh mane bun, nodded and blushed a bit. “Thank you, Miss Shores.”

“As for you,” Sapphire Shores began as she addressed Copperquick, “I hope you get what you need. If you need anything, anything at all, you come here and you talk to my devoted and hunky bodyguard, Mister Fuzzy Slippers. His parents had a real sense of humour. Imagine growing up on the rough streets of the Broncs with a name like that.” Sapphire Shores tossed back her head and laughed.

“Do you mean that? Anything?” Miss Oddbody tilted her head off to one side.

“Of course I meant it, I wouldn’t have said it, otherwise.” The smile never left Sapphire Shore’s face as she replied. “You have but to ask.”

“Little Miss Verde could use a crib… and foal stuff. But not a big crib, the apartment is too small and space is limited.” Miss Oddbody’s eyes shimmered behind her large square glasses.

“Okay, just give me some contact information.” Sapphire Shores, still smiling, gave Miss Oddbody a nod.

“No, I can’t let you do that.” Copperquick, hesitant, stepped forwards.

“Copperquick, I like you. So I am gonna give you some advice. Free advice, but damn good advice nonetheless. And you, my handsome baby daddy, are going to shuddup and listen.” Sapphire Shores got right up in Copperquick’s face, and when he did not respond, she continued, “There be two kinds of daddies in this world, Copper. The first kind is the worst sort. Oh, he means well, and he loves his filly or his colt, and he has the best of intentions. But he be proud. He be too damn proud, and because of this pride, he won’t bend his proud neck, and his foal goes to bed hungry, or does without, and he won’t take no damn help because of his pride.”

A single tear rolled down Copperquick’s cheek.

“Now, the second kind of daddy, he swallows his pride. He bends his proud neck and he does what is right for his daughter, no matter what it do to him. He takes whatever help he can get, with the knowledge that when his life gets better, he can pay it forward, and he can do what be right.” Sapphire Shores lifted up her head and stretched her long, graceful neck until her muzzle was inches away from Copperquick’s ear, and in a breathy voice, she kept going. “These are the best daddies, ‘cause they teach a girl humility… that’s where I learned my humility, see, from my daddy. He bent his proud neck and he did right by me. Now, I got me a chance to pay it forward. And right about now, this second daddy, he says a sweet little somethin’ something’ to the nice mare trying to help him.”

“T-thank you, M-Miss Shores,” Copperquick said as he struggled to hold back tears. With a shuddering sigh, he bent his neck and repeated himself, this time without stuttering hesitation. “Thank you, Miss Shores. Really. For everything. You’ve been kind to me when I needed it most.”

“You’ll have something nice for her to sleep in later this afternoon. I’ll have some of my stagehooves bring it by. Copperquick… it gonna be fugly-ugly for you, I won’t lie, but you ain’t alone. You come by and you see me if things get too bad. I’ll be in touch, Copperquick.”

“Thank you, Miss Shores,” Miss Oddbody said in a pleased, perky voice.

“Both you kids is gonna make me mess up my mascara! Now get outta here!” Sapphire Shores took a step backwards from Copperquick, then at the last moment, she planted a kiss on Esmeralda. “Damn, girl, you lucked out.”

“Just a second, let me get you the contact information, and then we’ll be going.” Miss Oddbody slipped a wing into her bag and began to dig around. “As it is, Foal Services would collapse without private donations. Twilight Velvet just forcibly took over in a bureaucratic coup détat. I was there… it was awful… I was there in the bowels of that horrible building when the papers hit the shredder…” A somewhat vacant looking thousand yard stare took over Miss Oddbody’s face.

“Farmgirl, speak to me, you okay?” Sapphire Shores said, looking worried about the professional, perky pegasus.

“Much ink was spilled that day… the halls ran black and red with it… the screaming… I was there when Mrs. Velvet recited the ancient bylaws and challenged the current head of the ministry to a duel. She thrashed him soundly and the battle spilled out into the streets… the princesses showed up, but nopony interfered. The bylaws had to be followed. The princesses kept the damage to the city of Canterlot to a minimum as the duel progressed. Mrs. Velvet did battle, all while reciting codes, laws, regulations, and creed. She smote Director Crewel Pinch and left him a bloody heap in the intersection. She accepted his resignation after he crawled to her and begged for mercy.”

Waving a hoof in front of Miss Oddbody’s eyes, Sapphire Shore’s lip curled back in concern. “Farmgirl, wake up, I think you is having some kinda flashback!”

With a snort, Miss Oddbody reacted. “What? Who? What’s going on!”

“You was about to give me some contact info,” Sapphire Shores said in a gentle voice with no trace of mirth.

“Oh, right, let me get that…”

Needing a bit of a breather, feeling far more tired than usual, Copperquick took a bit of a break in front of a bakery with sun cookies. Miss Oddbody was acting odd and he wondered if the stress was getting to her. She seemed withdrawn and out of sorts as they walked along through the streets together. Maybe she hadn’t had enough tea.

Glancing into the window, he saw loaves of bread, rolls, tea biscuits, digestives, rolls, and buns of all kind. It was hard to enjoy looking at them as he was worried about Miss Oddbody. He wasn’t even sure how to bring the subject up. His previous encounters with mares had all been practical ones—getting his itch scratched.

“Miss Oddbody…”

“Yes?”

“I couldn’t help but notice the brass plate over the cornerstone. What was that building before it became Foal Services?” As he spoke, Copperquick saw Miss Oddbody’s feathers fluff out. She was, in fact, cute, in a sexy librarian sort of way, with her sense of granny fashion.

“Oh.” Miss Oddbody stared up at Copperquick with a blank stare. “It was horrible. It used to be Foal Labour Services.”

“Huh?” Copperquick listened to his daughter burbling as he looked upon the distressed Miss Oddbody.

“If a farmer needed a field worker for the summer, but couldn’t afford to pay for an actual labourer, he could go into Foal Labour Services and pay for a permit that would allow him to go foal shopping in the orphanages and orphanariums. He could go and find himself a sturdy little foal or three, take them back to his farm, work them and discipline them within regulations that were never enforced or followed, and after the harvest, return them to where he obtained them.”

“What?!”

“I know, it’s awful, right?” Miss Oddbody squirmed. “We should be going. It’s almost three and you have classes that start at four.” The pegasus swallowed. “I believe in change, Mister Copperquick, and that is why I am helping you. You don’t know it yet, but you, you are our frontline fighter in Mrs. Velvet’s planned coup détat. She plans to absorb part of the treasury for more direct control.”

“I see.”

“She was just waiting for the right set of circumstances to come along.”

“Well, I’m in this fight, Miss Oddbody. I’ll throw my back into it.”

“We should get going, Mister Copperquick.”

Standing on the ramp that led up to the doors was a mare in a coat and a battered, ancient fedora. Copperquick recognised her right away, and upon seeing her, he had a profound new respect for her. She was tough, she was fearless, and she had raised both a prince and a princess. After such a feat, the mare could be just resting on her laurels, but no, she had a hobby. She had drive, and purpose.

Beside Mrs. Velvet, there was an earth pony wearing a terrible, tacky looking tropical shirt and who was also wearing a fedora. A donkey mare completed the group and the trio were talking as Copperquick approached. He slowed down, unsure if he was intruding on something private.

“Yammy, don’t let me down.”

“Of course, Mrs. Velvet.”

“I need that evidence. I know for certain that the Labour Services division is seeking to overthrow me. I just need proof so I can launch a preemptive strike. We can’t let things go back to how they were, it’s appalling.”

“We can do this,” the donkey mare said. “Trust me, we burros are invisible. We’re just another janitor to be bossed around.”

“Go, both of you. The society is counting on you. Remember to keep a stiff upper lip, my friends.”

Copperquick watched the earth pony and the donkey go. He heard Mrs. Velvet sighing, and Miss Oddbody hurried over to Twilight Velvet’s side. Copperquick began to cotton on that something big was going on, something real big and important. Somehow, he had stumbled into the middle of something that he had trouble comprehending.

“We need a birth certificate, vaccination records, and a tribal registry,” Miss Oddbody reported.

“I can help with those,” Mrs. Velvet replied. “I’ll make those happen. You shall have them tomorrow, perhaps by noon. Maybe. Somepony owes me a favour and he doesn’t want any embarrassing secrets revealed. Yam Spade is very, very good at what he does. I wish I had a hundred of him. That pony has a knack for skulduggery.”

“The filly was named by friends of the mother, and they call her Esmeralda Verde. Copperquick has decided to keep the name.” Miss Oddbody smiled and some of her perkiness returned.

“Ah, good, I approve of ponies with burro names. Cultural diversity is good. I am pleased.”

Hearing these words, Miss Oddbody beamed. “We got a whole lotta nothing at the dole office today. But we had a very nice meeting with Sapphire Shores, who is going to help out a bit. How much remains to be seen. The mother, Cielo del Este, worked for Miss Shores as a dancer. She’s gone now, she fled to Las Pegasus. Little Miss Verde has friends at Boardwalk Studios. Miss Shores had promised to secure some basic supplies and a crib of some sort.”

“Ah yes, Miss Shores.” Twilight Velvet seemed quite pleased. “I have always been fond of that song she did where she praises her father for all the hard work he did. It makes sense that she would be an ally. Hmm, I shall have to go to her and remind her about keeping a stiff upper lip. She might be able to get some mutual friends interested in helping us.”

All of Miss Oddbody twitched at Velvet’s words. “Celestial Glory is how I keep my upper lip nice and stiff… I’m feeling a little run down. I really need my tea. I’m beat.” After a moment, the peppy, perky pegasus added, “You know, Mrs. Velvet, Mister Copperquick might be interested in learning how to keep his upper lip nice and stiff.”

“You don’t say…” Twilight Velvet stepped away from Miss Oddbody and walked over to where Copperquick stood. Saying nothing, she walked around him, examining him. “A bowler hat… very, very interesting. You look like you could have a very stiff and starchy upper lip.”

“I don’t follow,” Copperquick replied.

“Not to worry.” Twilight Velvet’s lips pursed into a tight, crinkled line. “Miss Oddbody, keep applying for assistance in the short term. See if you can apply for food assistance through the Ministry of Agricultural Surplus.”

“Yeah… that place… where the process to claim food is so long that it rots before a pony can get it. I’ll get right on that, Mrs. Velvet.”

“In the long term, I am going to gather lawyers willing to take on a tough case.” Mrs. Velvet looked as though she had been eating lemons.

“Lawyers?” Copperquick felt a twinge of panic. “Why are lawyers needed?”

“Mister Copperquick, it is my intention to petition to have Cielo del Este pay foal support. She’s a dancer with what sounds like good earning potential. It will be the first trial of its kind, and no doubt, it will be a disaster that will ruin the careers of all who are involved in it… or possibly elevate them into the stratosphere.” Twilight Velvet peered up at Copperquick from beneath the brim of her fedora and she still looked a little sour.

His breath caught in his throat, Copperquick thought about what Sapphire Shores had said about there being two types of daddies. For a moment, pride almost made him protest, but then he thought of his daughter. And not just his daughter, but little daughters and sons everywhere. It was then he realised, for there to be change, somepony had to be brave and go first.

“Whatever is needed of me, I’ll do.” As he spoke, he felt a most peculiar sense of relief.

“Do as I ask, when I ask, and I will see that you and your daughter are taken care of, Mister Copperquick. You came to me at just the right time. I have plans, as you will soon see, and you are just what I needed. A big strong, stocky earth pony that can bear the brunt of the burden. I am about to pick a fight, Mister Copperquick, and I need like minded allies.”

“Like me!” Miss Oddbody said in the most chipper voice she could muster.

Her sour expression vanishing, Twilight Velvet smiled. “This will be a cry for help that can’t be ignored. It feels like everything's coming together, as though this was meant to be. Go on, Mister Copperquick, you need to get to school. You look very tired. Try to make it through your classes. Best of luck… and remember… keep a stiff upper lip.”

“Of course, Mrs. Velvet.”

Author's Note

Crewel is a real word. Look it up.

Chapter 7

Standing just outside of the door, Copperquick hesitated, his bones weary with exhaustion. Inside, he heard crying and he thought about crying as well. The growls from his stomach sounded like some caged beast. For a second, just a second, he wondered what he was doing and why he was doing it. Almost asleep on his feet, he pushed the door open.

Amidst a flurry of wings, he was pulled inside, herded through the room, and shoved down on the couch, too tired to resist. A crying, screaming infant was stuffed into his embrace, and overcome with numbness, he looked down. Esmeralda let out one final ear piercing squall, then began to snuffle as she looked up at him.

“Oh, thank providence!” Miss Oddbody said in a weak voice. “She’s been crying for hours. Turns out she just wanted to be held by her father.” With an exhausted cry, the panting pegasus collapsed upon the couch and went still. She sat there, sniffling, as she too had been crying, overwhelmed and frustrated.

Holding his daughter, who appeared to be sleepy, Copperquick looked around his tiny, cramped living room. There was a cradle now in the corner and on one end there was a big wind up mechanical contraption that made it self rocking, or so it appeared. There were stacks of diapers, formula, and foal stuff. A few stuffed animals littered the floor.

“I think we’re in trouble, Copperquick,” Miss Oddbody mumbled. “The neighbors are peeved. They’ve been banging on the wall, the ceiling, from down below, and even on the door.”

The thought was disquieting. This apartment complex was for single ponies, students and low wage workers just getting started. There would likely be no tolerance here for a cryer with powerful earth pony lungs. Unable to form a response, Copperquick remained quiet, knowing that he could be evicted for noise violations. He had signed a strict lease, as he had wanted quiet himself, and not a lot of loud partying while he was studying.

Laying against her father, Esmeralda hiccuped and went still. Copperquick thought about studying, but he didn’t have it in him to get up off of the couch. There was a savage rumble from his stomach, but he didn’t dare get up or move, for the fear that his daughter might start crying again.

“Perhaps the fatigue I am suffering is impairing my judgment, but whatever did you see in Cielo del Este?” Without lifting her head, Miss Oddbody turned it so that she was looking over at Copperquick.

“You really want to know?”

“Yeah, I asked.”

“She was a conquest,” Copperquick admitted in a weary, dry whisper. “She was smoking hot and way out of my league. I did it so that I could look back on the days when I was young and say that I had me a fine bit of tail. As it turns out though, she was as dumb as a bag of hammers and I found that I didn’t like her.”

“Oh.” Miss Oddbody blinked her eyes. “When I first came to university, I snogged a filly… somehow, I convinced myself that young mares came to university to experiment. I was drunk, she was drunk, and I think both of us found the kiss pretty disgusting.”

“What happened?” Copperquick asked.

“She puked in my mouth,” Miss Oddbody replied, “and when that happened, I puked back into hers. It came squirting out of her nose and splashed me in the face. I knew then and there that my days of snogging fillies was over. Since then, I have been a prim and proper pegasus who has looked after her own needs with thoroughly modern battery powered devices. What about you, have you learned anything from your experience?”

“Yeah.” Copperquick paused for a moment and considered his thoughts. “Now that I have a daughter, no more conquests. I don’t want her learning the wrong things. It’s time to grow up.” The earth pony shifted his bulk and tried to get himself comfortable on his lumpy couch.

“You know, something tells me that if you used your charms on Sapphire Shores, she could be another notch on your bedpost.” The sleepy pegasus’ eyes kept trying to close and she kept fighting to keep them open. “She likes you. I can tell. You’d hardly have to try. She wants to jump you because of Esmeralda.”

“I, uh, get the feeling that she likes you as well. If you felt like trying to kiss a mare again, there you go.” Copperquick was too sleepy to notice the drool soaking into his coppery pelt from Esmeralda, who was now sound asleep.

“You could have a Sugar Mama.”

“And what sort of message would that send my daughter?”

“I was just saying. Never mind me, I get weird when I get tired.”

“I love her so much already.” Copperquick’s voice was an exhausted, emotional whine. “The entire time I was in class, I thought about her. I talked about her. I drove some of my fellow students crazy.”

“Don’t you have friends?” Miss Oddbody asked.

“Sort of,” Copperquick replied.

“I sort of have friends as well. It feels like everypony I know is just at university to party. I came there to change the world. I value my grades more than social experiences I suppose. Maybe I should relax and party more, but I just can’t. The world needs saving.” Miss Oddbody let heave a sigh and she deflated, somehow looking smaller and more thin.

Staring at Miss Buttermilk Oddbody, Copperquick realised that she was more than a little pretty. Her mane hung down in long, loose strands, free of its confining bun and her glasses were askew. Miss Oddbody wasn’t pretty like Cielo del Este was pretty, a mare with a hot body that made for a hotter fling. No, Miss Oddbody was pretty like a gem that you kept and you treasured—or something like that. He noticed for the first time that her eyes were a sort of hazel-green. His sleep deprived brain thought back to the story Miss Oddbody had told him about how her mother had lured her father to stay with hot buttery toast and cheese.

Not to mention the fact that she was a pegasus. Copperquick had a thing for pretty pegasi. Wings. Lovely wings. Wings for flying, wings for dancing, wings for fanning, and wings for tickling. Wings, which offered flight, and thus made pegasi somewhat unattainable, unless they wanted to be caught. And if a pegasus wanted to be caught, well then, you did things with them until they flew away. Or didn’t fly away, as the case may be. That was the dream, the fantasy. Catching one and enticing them to stay on the ground with you. Giving them a reason to stay. Offering them a reason to come and make a nest with you, because that is what pegasi did, when they weren’t playing in some nearby birdbath.

It was such a wonderful fantasy.

Bleary eyed, half awake, Copperquick tried to collect his senses. Esmeralda had somehow slept for several long hours and so had he. He had fallen asleep on the couch with his daughter in his forelegs and Miss Oddbody beside him. Sniffing, he realised that somepony needed changing and he needed a shower. Copperquick’s head was thumping and his lips felt dry.

On the other end of the couch, Miss Oddbody was stirring. “And the cloud… goes into… the butterchurn… for super fluffy butter—SNORT!”

Held in her father’s embrace, Esmeralda made her feelings known with a couple of mewling cries, little warm up cries to let everypony know that she meant business. Food was needed, now, and a change was in order. When no warm bottle seemed forthcoming, she let out an ear piercing siren’s wail that caused Miss Oddbody to rocket straight up off of the couch and into the ceiling.

A moment later, the pegasus came back down to earth and crashed upon the couch.

“Oooh, birdies,” Miss Oddbody said as she sat cross eyed.

“I have regrets…” Copperquick tried to sit up but his spine decided to punish him for sleeping in such a manner. “AaaaaaaaeeEE!” There was a loud crackle from his back, like a bunch of celery being twisted in half. “Miss Oddbody… help. Take foal now. Please.”

“Hang on, help is coming, but I’m not sure which you is you.”

Mornings would never be the same. Ever. Struggling to even walk, Copperquick made his way down the busy street with a stabbing, burning pain in his spine. He had the bags, but Miss Oddbody had the foal. His exhaustion was now an all consuming sort of thing, it felt as though he hadn’t slept at all. Last night, he didn’t study and he feared that his grades would take a hit.

At least Esmeralda Verde seemed happy. She had slept for a good portion of the night and now, she was bright eyed and bushy tailed. The foal seemed to enjoy exploring the world while hanging from a foal carrier. She bounced and kicked about, cooed, giggled, and let out happy ear skewering shrieks at random intervals.

It was here, when Copperquick was feeling at his worst, when he smiled. His daughter was happy. He was coming undone, miserable, in pain, in dire need of real sleep, but all of these things paled in comparison to the needs that little Esmeralda had. He was an earth pony and he would endure.

The Ministry of Agricultural Surplus was across town, near the castle, in the Old Towne Historical District of Yesteryear. It was almost eight hundred years old and Miss Oddbody had told him that there were rumours that there were catacombs beneath the building where loyal, dutiful bureaucrats were filed away for long term storage. Miss Oddbody had also told him that Mrs. Velvet had told her stories that at least one bureaucrat had transformed herself into a lich and now roamed the bowels of the building, doing her job for an eternity.

Copperquick decided that it couldn’t possibly be true. It was just an urban myth. A ghost story told to scare office workers. There couldn’t possibly be any undead bureaucrats, that was preposterous, and far to terrifying to be true.

“Weeee. I have spit up running down my front legs and my neck.” Miss Oddbody’s voice held none of its usual enthusiasm. “Hooray. This is the highlight of my internship. I feel accomplished. This is what I’ve chosen to do with my life.”

Feeling almost dead on his hooves, Copperquick craned his head and looked up at the Ministry of Agricultural Surplus. This ministry served too many functions for Miss Oddbody to even list. They gave away extra food, sometimes, they determined the price of grains and cereals based upon surplus projections, and with a single pen stroke they could make or break a farmer.

The building was unremarkable, for the most part. Plain grey-white stone. Tall narrow windows. A sheaf of wheat and a sheaf of corn were carved into the stone above the door. The doors were plain wood, well polished, and the brass trim had a fine patina. Off to one side, a train of supply wagons hauled goods into the building through one door while empty wagons exited through another.

“Hoi!” a stout pegasus bellowed. “You here for food?”

It took Copperquick several seconds to realise that he was being spoken to. He nodded and turned to face the pegasus, who was wearing a pinstriped blue blazer and a flat cap. The pegasus nodded a bit, flapped his wings once, and then headed over.

“Hoi, lucky day and all that.” The pegasus tipped his cap. “Hoi, Miss. Right good looking foal you have there.” The pegasus produced a clipboard from beneath his wing. “Hoi, sign here, please. Springtime liquidation of the leftover winter storage. Hoi, summer is coming, it is.”

Miss Oddbody went to work, signing the paper on the clipboard, and Copperquick was thankful for a stroke of good luck. He watched the wagons going in and out while thinking that this day wasn’t going to be a total loss. Something in his stomach squelched and he thought about a big platter of scrambled eggs.

“Hoi, it’ll be really busy in a bit, the train is due from Ponyville, and lots of ponies will come for the free grain. You did good getting here early. You get one sack of oats, forty pounds. One sack of pinto beans, forty pounds. One sack of corn, dried, forty pounds. And last but not least, one sack of rice, forty pounds. An agent can help secure the bags to your back and lash them on tight.”

It took several seconds for Copperquick to register what was said. He nodded, not wanting to turn down free food. Frowning, he thought about the fact that he didn’t have a wagon to carry this sort of load and he wasn’t sure if he could haul this much home. What could he do?

“I don’t look like much, but I am a stout hearted little filly that grew up on a farm. I’ll carry the foal stuff and one of the big sacks on my back. Copperquick, do you think you can take the other three or do we leave some behind?”

Looking down at the plucky little pegasus, Copperquick worried that her skinny little legs would snap like matchsticks under a load. After a moment, he answered, “I’ll manage the other three.”

“Hoi, good business then. Let’s see if we can get you fine folk loaded up and ready to go!”

Author's Note

Upon request, a tag has been added.

Chapter 8

As far as earth ponies went, Copperquick wasn’t a strong one, like some, or a smart one, like others. No, Copperquick wasn’t blessed with big, bunchy muscles or a surplus of brains, both suited for different sorts of workloads. No, Copperquick was fast and he could do it for hours, which was why he did delivery work. He was fast enough on the Canterlot streets that ponies just assumed that he was just another pegasus courier and were shocked, shocked to discover that he didn’t have wings.

So, carrying one hundred and twenty pounds of load upon his back was a problem. Carrying one hundred and twenty pounds of load, while exhausted and with a sore back from sleeping on the couch while sitting up, made everything worse. Overhead, pegasi flew in the skies, moving clouds in and doing something with the weather.

“I’ve been thinking about the state of my conservatism,” Miss Oddbody said as she went along, skinny legs wobbling beneath the load. “I suppose as a distraction while I carry this heavy load. Been giving it a lot of thought this morning.”

“Oh?” Copperquick’s ears somehow managed to lift themselves, even with his exhausted state.

“I’m still a monarchist.” Miss Oddbody’s voice held a distinct pride that made itself known through her strain and fatigue. “I still believe in the rule of the Sisters. I was born a monarchist, I live as a monarchist, and I will die as a monarchist. I am a dyed in the wool monarchist and nothing can change that. Well, I suppose it isn’t a monarchy now that Princess Luna is back, but you get the general idea. And since I am a monarchist, and my parents are monarchists, maybe, just maybe, I can focus on what we still have in common, rather than our differences. I am really, really tired and my brain is all weird right now.”

Almost crushed under the burden lashed to his back, Copperquick thought about these words.

“I still have most of my core values,” Miss Oddbody continued, almost panting as she trotted alongside Copperquick. “I believe in strong, traditional family values. I believe in modest behaviour and decency. I still believe in most of the things my parents taught me. But what makes me a radical… what makes me a leftist, what pits me against my parents and so many others… I have lost faith in the bureaucracy. For this, I fear I might never be forgiven. Oh, and voting. My father and mother were quite irate when they found out I voted. I was lectured. That left a few cracks in my relationship with my Daddums and my Moomy.”

“The bureaucracy needs to go,” Copperquick muttered, all too aware that it was bureaucracy that had given him the food upon his back. One good deed did not excuse them for an uncountable number of offenses.

“See, that right there, that will get you tarred and feathered as a radical leftist.” Miss Oddbody shook her head and clucked her tongue. “Keep that up, and ponies will talk, Mister Copperquick, and they will have nothing pleasant to say about you.”

“As for voting, I don’t know how I feel about it.” Copperquick wondered if he was treading upon dangerous ground with Miss Oddbody and he looked down at her, trying to read her feelings. He felt some butterflies in his stomach, but he kept going anyways. “Voting and the right to vote certainly hasn’t done anything to stop the bureaucracy. I don’t see much changed by the right to vote. It’s an empty act that makes the common pony feel as though they have some say in governance, but in reality, visiting any ministry office will show the common pony just how much power they really have. The ministries now have ministries to regulate them, with more ministries to regulate the regulatory ministries.”

“Just because voting doesn’t work yet doesn’t mean that it can’t work later,” Miss Oddbody argued in a polite, respectful voice. “Reform has to be made first. Changes have to be made. Over time, as these reforms, these changes, these little shifts in power, with more power allocated to the citizenry, votes will gain more and more meaning. But yes, I agree with you, they aren’t very effective, for now.”

It was at that moment that Copperquick realised, he and Miss Oddbody could discuss politics in a civil, even polite manner and not come to blows, or even shouting. It was something that his fellow students failed at doing quite often—he hated his classes in college that trapped him in a room with blowhards and narrow minded idiots.

“For now, voting remains an act of conscience done to satisfy the soul. I see it as organised Crown-sponsored civil protest. If those votes are read, then somepony, some Crown agency, they know how the common populace feels on an issue, and if that is the case, then they see the writing on the wall.”

“That is a very enlightened way of looking at it, Miss Oddbody.”

“Why, thank you, my delightful gentlepony friend.”

Glad to be home, Copperquick pushed open the door and muscled his way inside. Esmeralda was starting to get a little fussy, but she wasn’t crying yet, just kicking and blowing spit bubbles of protest. Copperquick wondered if perhaps his daughter didn’t like the discussion of politics. It was going to feel real good to get the load off of his back. He went to work trying to pull the slip knots with his teeth and then shook the bags down to the floor.

It was then he noticed the yellow slip of paper that had been slipped beneath the door while he was away. It had been blown aside during entry and seeing it caused the hairs along his belly to feel prickly. A hint of urine reminded him that Esmeralda needed to be changed. Frozen, he stood there, with heavy bags flopped around him, staring at the little yellow sheet of paper, and feeling a growing state of anxiety.

“What’s that?” Miss Oddbody whispered as she shimmied off her heavy bag of rice.

“The end of me,” Copperquick replied, his words breathed through a strained throat, but not spoken.

With Copperquick frozen in place, Miss Oddbody went to retrieve the sheet of paper from the floor. Using her wings, she picked up the canary yellow slip of paper and then unfolded it. Angling her head to see through her lineless bifocals, she began to read. As she read, she began snorting, tiny snorts at first, then big angry, but defeated sounding snorts that were unique to pegasi, a part of their unspoken language.

“Is that what I think it is?” Copperquick asked, not wanting to know the answer.

Looking pained, Miss Oddbody nodded. “It is a writ of eviction stating that you must vacate in thirty days. Also, there is a five hundred bit fine for violation of your lease, which also must be paid in thirty days, or it will be reported to the authorities.”

Slumping, Copperquick sat down on a bag of beans, and he began to sniffle a bit. He lifted a foreleg, wrapped it around Esmeralda, who hung from his neck, and he gave her a squeeze. The first of his sobs hit his body like a train, undoing him and his defenses. He then lost it and the floodgates opened. Making an odd braying sound, Copperquick bawled his eyes out. The yellow paper slipped from Miss Oddbody’s wings and fell to the floor like a leaf in autumn.

Hearing her father crying, Esmeralda, already fussy, let out a shrieking wail and then began blubbering in earnest, kicking her legs and thrashing in her carrier. Miss Oddbody, who had more than few tears flowing herself, plucked the howling infant from her carrier and then went to work changing her, getting her freshened up. If Esmeralda was going to cry, she was going to cry in a clean diaper.

“Oh, this is a load of soggy bollocks.” Miss Oddbody showed no signs of regret for swearing around a foal. The prim little pegasus went through the motions of getting Esmeralda all cleaned up, all while scowling and muttering the most profane vulgarities to herself. When Esmeralda was changed, Miss Oddbody pulled a bottle out of a bag, slipped it into a bottle warmer that Sapphire Shores had donated, and then, the normally polite little pegasus sat waiting for the bottle to heat, all while a stream of profane words spilled like a flood from her lips.

Her mother was a farmer, and it showed.

When the bottle warmer dinged, Miss Oddbody yanked the bottle out, snatched up Esmeralda, and then stuffed her into her father’s embrace. Copperquick, still sitting on his bag of beans, somehow managed to take his daughter and hold her. The bottle was stuffed into Esmeralda’s lips like a cork, and the startled foal let out a displeased gurgle that she had been silenced. She kicked and fussed a bit more, but hunger won out and Esmeralda began to feed.

“Fronking bellends… stupid, manky little minge sniffing pish lickers… pox ridden tossers… buggering gits… fronking cack hoofed bastards... somepony is going to pay for this cockup, I swear…” Sitting down, Miss Oddbody cracked her front fetlocks and they made a most alarming sound as the slender, prim little pegasus prepared for some unspeakable act of violence. “Right then, I need a cuppa and I think I’ll fix you one as well.”

The citizens of Canterlot were no strangers to odd sights and strange events. Occasionally, bureaucrats would duel in the streets, sometimes, wizards and their spells would go horribly wrong in the worst possible way, Canterlot was a city where weird things happened. As such, nopony batted an eyelid at yet another strange sight on the streets of Canterlot.

A small, slight, skinny young pegasus mare dragged a much larger earth pony stallion along behind her, a strap gripped between her teeth and secured around his neck. The earth pony bawled, great racking sobs, but his tears were invisible, washed away by the pouring rain. Also around his neck was a foal carrier, and in the carrier, a foal squalled, her cries shrill and echoing through the urban canyons of Canterlot.

It took all of the little pegasus’ mare’s strength to tug the much larger earth pony along. He stumbled and dragged his hooves over the ground behind her, rearing his head back, and resisting every step of the way. But the little pegasus mare, with her skinny legs, her mosquito thin body, and her slender wings, she would not be deterred, scowling and squinting as she went.

Nopony stopped them. Nopony said anything. Canterlot ponies, most of them polite to a fault and not wishing to cause a scene, stepped aside and allowed the tiny pegasus to pull the earth pony along by his lead. The rain came down in a deluge, flooding the streets and turning the white sidewalks grey.

“Good heavens.” Twilight Velvet watched as Miss Oddbody dumped a drenched Copperquick onto the couch and she stood there, trying to assess the situation. With an almost mindless flick of her magic, she dried everypony present and cleaned up the puddles of water from the floor. “Gracious, what happened?”

“An eviction notice for lease violation, that’s what happened,” Miss Oddbody replied after she spat out the strap she had held in her teeth. “And a five hundred bit fine.”

“Oh.” Twilight Velvet let out a demure gasp. “Oh dear, well, as bad as this is, it might work out to our advantage.”

“How in the blue Tartarus does this work out to our advantage?” Miss Oddbody demanded to know as she stomped one petite hoof upon the dirty, stained floor. She gave herself a shake and her bun, now dried, collapsed completely, spilling out her long mane into a flood that spilled down her neck and over her face. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Velvet… but I am very upset right now. Please, forgive me.”

“This works out to our advantage. Mister Copperquick now faces a condition called imminent hardship. This is an entirely new set of qualifiers and we can use them to get appeals. With the ante upped, new conditions and opportunities are presented.” Twilight Velvet looked over at Copperquick, who was sobbing in an inconsolable manner on the couch, clutching his daughter.

“Mrs. Velvet, that’s all fine and good, but he is going to be homeless in thirty days.”

“Miss Oddbody… Buttermilk… I can’t save everypony, I am painfully aware of this fact, but I can pick and chose my battles. I have chosen to die upon this very hill, if that is what is necessary, and I assure you, come Tartarus or high tides, I will be looking after Mister Copperquick. We now have thirty days with an advantage… a powerful advantage, leverage, if you will, my lovely Buttermilk, thirty days that we might be able to exploit the system.”

“After thirty days, then what?” Miss Oddbody asked.

“Well, we need to keep Mister Copperquick homeless and without an address—that is just too good of an advantage to give up, but we can’t have him and little Esmeralda suffering. Give me some time to work things out. I assure you, I will find a way to keep our advantage while also ensuring that they are sheltered.”

“Thank you.” Sniffling, a long dangling ribbon of shimmering, shiny snot dangling from his nose, Copperquick looked up from where he sat on the couch. “I kinda lost my hope there… I’m sorry.”

Conjuring some tissues with her magic, Twilight Velvet went to work wiping Copperquick’s nose, and then also tried to clean up Esmeralda’s face. Looking both cross and stern, Twilight Velvet’s brows formed deep furrows as she began to think about the problem at hoof.

“I didn’t think about this working out to our advantage. I wish I had, I might have been able to comfort Copperquick.” Miss Oddbody slumped and her wings drooped. “Now I feel bad. I feel like I’ve failed my client.”

“Buck up, dearie.” Twilight Velvet began to pace the floor, her brows still furrowed. “I need to think about how to defend my hill. Miss Oddbody, go and fix me a cup of tea. Also, I think that both you and Copperquick could use one as well. Now go. Off with you, young miss!”

Wings buzzing, Miss Oddbody zoomed off, her hooves just inches above the floor.

“What a delightful set of circumstances I can play with.” Pacing, Twilight Velvet’s eyes narrowed into slits and her ears angled forwards over her face. “Copperquick, darling, I assure you, I am far too invested in this to allow you to slip through the cracks. We just need to make it look like you are about to slip through the cracks. Dire circumstances and all.”

“Where will I go?” Copperquick asked.

“Oh, I shall think of something. I’d let you come and stay with me and my husband, but that would be a conflict of interests and pose a number of issues about professionalism. But not to worry.” Turning about, Twilight Velvet yelled, “Miss Oddbody, do pull out the biscotti! I believe this warrants a special occasion!”

“Right, Boss!”

Author's Note

Right, I do apologise for all of the filth presented to the reader. Dreadfully sorry and all that.

Chapter 9

Pacing back and forth in front of Copperquick, a deep brow furrowing, corner of the eye crinkling scowl appeared upon Twilight Velvet's face as she looked at the pony holding his daughter. A faint wickering could be heard down deep in her throat, a maternal equine sound, and for those that knew Twilight Velvet best, an indicator that something was troubling her. With a light, quick hop, she lept up onto the couch beside Copperquick and sat down.

“Here is what is going to happen,” she said in a reassuring, maternal whisper to the young adult pony sitting beside her. “I am going to take you and Miss Oddbody to lunch. I am going to feed both of you. And then, you are going to go home and try to get a little nap before you go to school. I am going to be coming home with you, and I will use every trick in my arsenal to keep little Esmeralda quiet so that you can get some much needed rest. If necessary, I will silence your room so that you might sleep.”

“Okay.” Copperquick made no resistance when Twilight Velvet began to wipe his nose again. When she leaned up against him, he found himself leaning back against her, and he let out one final shuddering sniffle.

“I have Esmeralda Verde’s papers on the way, so that is one less thing for you to worry about. Her name has been added to her documents. She has been added to the earth pony tribal registry with a note that her mother was a pegasus pony and that her father is an earth pony. Now, when she grows up, she can go and explore the rich history of both of her tribes and know where she came from.” Twilight Velvet smiled and gave Copperquick a nudge, hoping for a smile or some sign that he felt a little better. She also wiped away a few biscotti crumbs from the corner of his mouth.

“Thank you, Mrs. Velvet.”

“Now, I’ve been meaning to ask, and I know this can be a sensitive subject, but can you contact your parents for some help? Now, I’m not saying to move back in with your parents or anything, but asking them for help surely can’t hurt anything.” Twilight Velvet, hearing a slurp, looked over at Miss Oddbody, who was drinking her sixth cup of tea.

After thinking about Mrs. Velvet’s words for a moment, Copperquick had this to say. “My parents are very far away and I doubt they could help. I’m Grittish, you see, from Liverypool. I came to Equestria by my own means with my own coin and I am putting myself through college.”

“I see.” Twilight Velvet leaned back and looked up at Copperquick.

“My mum and my dad are both factory workers. Average types. Working class. They have a perfectly serviceable row house that looks like every other row house in the row. Liverypool isn’t a bad place, but it’s not a great place. You can work in a factory, you can work in a steel mill, or you can work in the dockyards. It is a dirty, sooty place, with grey skies, and it rains almost every single day. I decided from an early age that I wasn’t spending the rest of my life there.”

“Hmm.” Twilight Velvet’s ears stood up and she placed one hoof upon her chin.

“We’re all quite poor. In the winter, nopony turns on the heat, because everypony believes that the family in the next row house over will turn on the heat if it gets cold enough, and with the row houses all connected, everypony thinks that when the heat comes on, some of it will seep into where you live… but nopony ever turns the heat on and we all stay very cold. Jumpers are very common.” A maudlin, nostalgic smile appeared upon Copperquick’s face.

“Well then… I shall see about paying for an intercontinental telegram to your parents so that we can at least share some happy news about them being grandparents.” Twilight Velvet smiled and gave Copperquick an affectionate pat. “Trust me, a mother wants to know.”

“My mother’s name is Banoffee Pie and my father is called Copper Clanger.”

“Oh my goodness, we have another Pie.” Looking delighted, Twilight Velvet leaned forwards and smiled up at Copperquick. “Pies make for the very best sorts of ponies.” Looking down at Esmeralda, Twilight Velvet nudged the little filly and then booped her on the snoot. “You’re a little Pie… no wonder you are so adorable.”

“I’m starving.” Copperquick, feeling better, blinked a few times. “Can we please go get lunch?”

The bistro had a thick green awning to keep the rain off of the tables. The rain poured down in a steady flow, beating a staccato rhythm upon the heavy canvas awning. Even with the rain, life in Canterlot did not slow, and the streets were full of traffic. The breeze was cool, moist, and pleasant. Glasses had to be set down upon napkins to keep them from blowing away.

Miss Oddbody was drinking espresso, tiny cup after tiny cup, the waitress had brought them out on a tray. Twilight Velvet was comfortable in her chair and kept blowing raspberries against Esmeralda’s belly. Copperquick ate. And kept eating. He demolished an entire quiche all by his lonesome and was now grazing on a Mustangian salad that was heavy on the dandelion greens.

“I’m Grittish-Equestrian,” Miss Oddbody said in a casual, conversational tone.

“Most of us are, dear,” Twilight Velvet replied. “Our Founders came over here from there during the Winter of the Windigos.”

“My mother’s mother’s mother came to Equestria because she couldn’t afford a patch of farmland back home.” Miss Oddbody slurped down another tiny cup of espresso and smiled. “I come from a long line of cheesemakers.”

“You know what they say…” Twilight Velvet smiled.

“No, what?” Copperquick looked over at the mare holding his daughter.

“Blessed are the cheesemakers.” Twilight Velvet blew another raspberry against Esmeralda’s belly while both Miss Oddbody and Copperquick groaned. When the little filly yawned, Twilight Velvet cradled her and held her close.

“Many ponies from the Grittish Isles flock to Canterlot. I am told that it reminds them of home. Space is limited, there are lots of row houses here, and it is an old city, rich in history.” Miss Oddbody lifted up another tiny cup of espresso and smiled. “Does Canterlot remind you of home, Copperquick?”

“A little,” Copperquick replied around a mouthful of greens. “What threw me off is that they call a bowler hat a derby hat here in Canterlot. We have a lot of the same things, but different names. It was confusing at first, but I settled in. What confused me was the bathrooms. Where I come from, we have baths in the bathroom and the toilet is in the water closet. You ponies are a little backwards here in Equestria.”

Holding Esmeralda, Twilight Velvet chuckled.

“And you pull wagons on the wrong side of the roads,” Copperquick added. Having said what needed to be said, he pushed his muzzle down into his salad and kept eating.

“Miss Oddbody,” Twilight Velvet said in a soft voice as she rocked Esmeralda, “don’t worry about doing anything tomorrow. Take a day to rest and recuperate as best you can. The day after tomorrow, armed with the right papers, I want you and Copperquick to apply for assistance again. If they reject you, and they will reject you, demand a same day appeal due to imminent hardship and plea your case to a manager. Make certain your hairpin is activated, because I want every word said recorded.”

“Yes, of course, Mrs. Velvet.”

“Recorded?” His lips dripping oil and vinegar, Copperquick lifted his head a little and glanced over at Twilight Velvet. “What am I getting into? What goes on in this city? What is up with the bureaucracy and what’s up with the subterfuge?”

“To understand the bureaucracy, you have to understand the reasoning behind it,” Twilight Velvet replied in a low voice as Esmeralda yawned and made an adorable sound, the sort of sound that made parents love their foals, and therefore, that much more difficult to reject them. “It comes down to herd-think. Group-think. A single pony is weak, vulnerable, and alone. The bureaucracy represents a herd. It is difficult to approach and hard to coerce. The herd is concerned about survival, not the individual. Think of it as a sociological version of survival of the fittest.”

“And dueling ministry heads?” Miss Oddbody asked.

“The alpha rules the herd and the alpha is expected to be the smartest and the strongest. For a new alpha to appear in the herd, the old alpha must be defeated.” Twilight Velvet settled back in her chair and got comfortable. “Unicorns are seen as the ideal heads of ministry. It’s tribalist, but it is something many believe to be true. Our magic allows us to perform certain functions that pegasi and earth ponies just can’t do. Our magic also allows us to engage in duels to challenge one another for leadership positions. In theory, it works, but in practice, it fails and falls flat. The strongest, the smartest, the most capable, the most magical, these should be ideal heads of the ministries. But as is often the case, they are not.”

Chewing his salad, Copperquick listened with perked ears.

“In order to tear down the system, I have to play by its rules.” Twilight Velvet bowed her head and kissed Esmeralda on the nose as the filly drifted off into slumber. Looking up, she said, “Eventually, with time, it is my plan to have heads of ministries voted into office by the ponies that they serve. It will not be a perfect system, but I believe it will be marginally better than what we have now.”

“And I am going to get to say I was here from the beginning.” Miss Oddbody had a pleased smile upon her muzzle as she leaned over the table. “I will be able to boast that I was there when Mrs. Velvet set her plan in motion.”

“A mare must have hobbies.” Twilight Velvet let out a soft laugh and then added, “Finish up, Copperquick, we need to get you home for a nap.”

The nap, though short, was just what Copperquick needed. He was almost certain that he could make it through a night of school now. He stood in his cramped shower stall soaking his head under steaming hot water and feeling a little better about his situation. He realised that he missed his parents and he put writing a letter on his list of things to do.

Over the sounds of the water, he could hear Miss Oddbody and Esmeralda laughing. The sound lifted his spirits, made him feel better, and made him think that things were going to be okay somehow. Things were tough right now, the future was uncertain, but he wasn’t going to fall through the cracks. He had a friend in Mrs. Velvet.

And perhaps in Miss Oddbody as well. A different sort of smile spread over his muzzle when he thought about her. He was growing fond of her and he hoped that she was his friend. She was pretty, she was witty, and she was nice to have conversations with. There was no doubt that she was smart—smarter than he was. But she wasn’t snobby. The kind and generous filly was just a fantastic pony.

Grinning, he hurried to finish his shower.

“Do well in school,” Twilight Velvet said in a warm, supportive voice to Copperquick. She held up Esmeralda and touched the filly’s snoot to her father’s. “Remember what you are fighting for. It’s tough right now, but not impossible. Just be a good earth pony and keep pulling if you want to get through this.”

Gurgling, Esmeralda blew a spit bubble and left her father’s nose slick with drool. Holding out her forelegs, she grabbed Copperquick’s muzzle and snuggled against it, burbling and spitting with glee.

“Also, to help put your mind at ease, I spoke with your apartment manager.” Twilight Velvet’s smile vanished and she now looked serious. “The eviction still stands, he has to do his job and I know that you are mature enough to understand that. I was however, able to convince him to drop the five hundred bit fine, but only on the condition that the apartment is absolutely, utterly spotless upon moving out. Getting these places cleaned up for the next tenant is expensive it seems, so everypony walks away happy.”

“Fleeblubbleshizzit! Floop!” Esmeralda looked into her father’s eyes and made another spit bubble. “Bleeblorp shpeenoopula?”

“That’s a mouthful, little one.” Puckering up, Copperquick kissed his daughter right between the ears, which made her squeal in happiness.”

“Don’t worry, the neighbors didn’t hear that,” Twilight Velvet said, trying to reassure Copperquick so he could go to school with an untroubled mind. “I took a few magical liberties. I’m sure you won’t mind. It is one less thing to worry about. Now, off with you, it’s time for school and I need to be going as well. Miss Oddbody is properly caffeinated, so little Miss Verde will be in good hooves.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Velvet, for everything.” Copperquick felt himself blushing as his daughter kicked him in the face with her stubby little legs.

“Do well in school,” Miss Oddbody said in a gentle, but commanding voice. “I’ll be here waiting when you get home. I might even fix you dinner, but you have to do something for me in return.”

“Fair exchange?” Copperquick’s eyebrow arched.

“Fair exchange.” Miss Oddbody nodded. “We’ll figure something out, don’t you worry…”

Author's Note

On the updated MLP map, the Grittish Isles are an actual location. For realsies.

Chapter 10

A day off. Well, that was a bit of a misnomer, as he had plenty to do, but Copperquick was looking forward to spending a day with his daughter—and Miss Oddbody. He also planned to study a bit, if he could, and it might be nice to get out of the house to spend some time in a park somewhere. Everything was nice and green after the scheduled rain yesterday.

Little Esmeralda was crawling on the floor, burbling, and leaving little puddles of drool everywhere. Copperquick lay on the floor with her, watching her, fascinated by what he had created. A moment of steamy passion with a near stranger a year ago had led to this, this moment where he stared at his own daughter with his chin resting upon the floor. She looked so much like him. Her bright, curious amber eyes took in everything she saw. The distinctive shade of copper in her pelt, a metallic looking colour, it was something that Copperquick had inherited from his father.

Lifting his head, he stretched out his neck, and with his teeth, he grabbed his daughter by the scruff of the neck. She let out a shrill squeal as she was hauled close and set back down upon the floor. Copperquick then rolled her over onto her back for a better look at her, wanting to see her face, her little legs, every detail that she had to offer, he wanted it committed to his memory.

“Blorp?” she asked in a most inquisitive way.

“I am mildly concerned,” Miss Oddbody said from where she sat on the couch. “She should be talking now. Simple words and such. She wasn’t socialised enough, I fear. Mrs. Velvet and I discussed it. Mrs. Velvet did a few tests and we discovered that Esmeralda just shuts down if she is spoken to in too loud a voice. It was quite tragic to observe and Mrs. Velvet believes that Cielo del Este may have screamed at her in an attempt to make her be quiet. There may have been other means of silencing her as well, such as nipping her or—”

“I don’t want to know,” Copperquick blurted out.

“I understand.” Miss Oddbody offered a prim nod of her head. “It’s over now. She has a parent that loves her. I’ve been watching you and how you are with her. She adores you and trusts you.”

Feeling troubled, Copperquick lowered his head down and pressed his muzzle into his daughter’s barrel. He chuffed and was rewarded with a giggle, along with some kicks. It bothered him that he had procreated with such an awful pony. He had gone after her strictly upon the bases of good looks, and Cielo del Este was a looker. A moment of indiscretion, a mad desire to scratch his itch, it had cost him. His job, his apartment, and perhaps some of his youthful naiveté.

While he might have screwed up, Esmeralda was not a mistake. Copperquick placed his lips against her right front frog and blew a raspberry. A geyser of spit squirted out of her lips as she freaked out from the ticklish sensation and then she started laughing. It was a magical sound, something that he treasured, something that made all of this worth it.

Never again would he bed a mare based upon her good looks, but rather, the merit of her character. Without even realising that he was doing so, he lifted his head and looked over at Miss Oddbody, who was studying for her own schoolwork. Some of her bun had fallen out, leaving tendrils of her long mane spilling down around her face, which was angled downwards and into her book. Her glasses had slid down almost to the end of her nose. Miss Oddbody was wearing a fresh, clean cardigan, this one appeared to be cotton, a light knit, with sky blue and iron grey in a twisted cord pattern. No other mare her age would be caught dead wearing such an archaic bit of fashion, but Copperquick liked it. Oh yes, he liked it a lot. Miss Oddbody had a somewhat frumpy librarian thing going on, or… or perhaps a nanny, or maybe a schoolmarm from yesteryear.

She was modest, careful, and unostentatious. Miss Oddbody was a mare that was mindful of her tail and the position of her body—in doing so, she left much to the imagination. Copperquick had a big, dopey grin that he was unaware of plastered across his muzzle as he watched her turn a page with her wing.

“Copperquick, I was wondering… about your name. Your father is Copper Clanger, two words, but your name is one word. How did that come about?” The curious young mare looked up from her textbook and focused upon the stallion on the floor.

“Oh, that’s my mother’s fault,” he replied, his grin growing even larger, “and not my fault at all.” Copperquick let out a discrete sounding chuckle and then thought about his mother. “When I was born, I was Copper, after my father, and then with time, I became Copper Quick. I was fast as greased lightning. I was so fast that my mother struggled to keep up with me and you know how mothers are… when you are in trouble, they use both names to get your attention.”

Covering her mouth with her hoof, Miss Oddbody began to giggle.

“So, it became a race to get my attention and to keep up with me. ‘Copper Quick’ was shouted out in such a way that it became one word that my mother would say when she was trying to get my attention before I zoomed off. ‘Copperquick!’ and by then, it would be too late, if she wanted to paddle my backside, she had to catch me. I never made it easy on her.”

Clucking her tongue, Miss Oddbody shook her head in mock stern disapproval. “For shame, Mister Quick, for shame.”

“I miss my mum. Today, while I have some free time, I need to write her and my dad a letter.” Copperquick looked down at Esmeralda, who was amusing herself by blowing spit bubbles. “She made the best jelly butties.”

“I don’t follow,” Miss Oddbody said.

“Jelly sandwiches. She had this trick, see, she would butter both sides of the bread, spread on some jelly, and then slap on the top piece of bread. Then she would let the sandwich, buttered on the outside, sit in a skillet and brown. The butter outside would leave the bread crispy, and the butter inside would melt…” Lost in nostalgia, Copperquick’s words trailed off.

“Hmm, that sounds good… I could do that… mmm, butter.” Miss Oddbody blinked. “That reminds me. You don’t have anything that you can cook things like beans, rice, or oatmeal in. You don’t even have a grinder for the dried corn, so that things like cornbread or cornmeal mush can be made. If you have the available funds, we should maybe see about getting a few things for the poor excuse of a kitchen you have.”

“I have a little, but not much.” Copperquick allowed his head to drop down upon his daughter and smoosh her. When she banged her front hooves against his chin, he smiled and rubbed his jaw against her belly.

“We don’t need much. A rice cooker can be used to fix oatmeal, beans, and even cornmeal mush. You do have a little toaster oven and that can be used to make some meals like cornbread. A cheap grinder won’t last very long, but it should serve our purposes for a time. If necessary, I can spend a little of my own funds, but don’t tell Mrs. Velvet. It’s fine when she bends the rules, but when I do it… Miss Oddbody gets lectured.” The young mare looked rather owlish behind her glasses as she blinked.

“When do you want to go, Miss Oddbody?”

“Oh, well, Esmeralda is nice and fresh at the moment, so now might be good,” she replied.

“Well then, let’s get ready and have a grand day out. I could use a happy day.”

“You know, Mister Quick, I think I could as well.”

Sitting in the warm spring sunshine, Copperquick wondered what it meant when two ponies went appliance shopping together, comparing prices, and discussing the merits of one model versus another. It was a rather odd experience and he had no frame of reference for making sense of it.

Esmeralda lay upon a blanket spread over the grass and she was sound asleep. Her little legs kicked and twitched as she dreamed, and looking at her, Copperquick felt a happiness that was previously unknown in his life. She was a tiny, precious thing to him, and he supposed that his paternal instincts had to be taking over in some scientific way that was beyond his reasoning.

Miss Oddbody chased after butterflies and hummingbirds, the overcaffeinated pegasus appeared to be having the time of her life as she flitted about the public garden. This particular park had a botanical section that was in a state of gorgeous spring bloom, which the butterflies and hummingbirds found irresistible.

With Esmeralda napping and Miss Oddbody occupied, Copperquick pulled a textbook out of his bag. Equinology: A History of Equine Civilisation. For him, it was one of his tougher subjects, but he needed at least one credit in it for almost any specialised degree he might chose when he decided what he wanted a degree in. Right now, the class was studying the First Tribes, those who lived in Equestria first, and their lasting impact upon civilisation. The First Tribes worshipped alicorns, holding them in reverence, while holding the draconequus known as Discord as a figure of revulsion, the equinification of evil. The First Tribes were now a minority group within Equestria, loved by some, while hated by others.

Opening his book, he settled in for a read. He needed to study. Studying was of vital importance if he was going to preserve his grades. And he had to preserve his grades, because he had to graduate. Not for himself, no, but for Esmeralda. He had no idea how he was going to pay for school, but he tried not to worry about that at the moment. Knowing Twilight Velvet, a way would be found.

For the first time in days, Copperquick was able to relax enough to concentrate. He settled into his book and began reading about the cultural contributions of the First Tribes. Their theocratic culture blended well with the monarchical culture imported by Princess Platinum. Both had strong similarities, but also a few differences. Princess Platinum was not worshipped as a living god-figure. There were some tensions when the Founders relinquished their own positions and submitted to the rule of alicorns, but those tensions were to be found among the tribes they had brought with them, and not in the leaders themselves, who saw a great and glorious future.

The issue, as Smart Cookie saw it, was that Princess Platinum, Commander Hurricane, and Chancellour Puddinghead, these ponies would not live forever. And while the three of them seemed content to live in a triumvirate, sharing power in equal measure, any successor might not, and might seek a way to gain more power for their own tribe. By abdicating their own positions and surrendering their tribes to the Royal Pony Sisters, equality could be maintained. Smart Cookie wrote long treatises upon this issue, many of which became foundations for Equestrian law, culture, and tradition.

The turning over of power was met with hostility by some, and these ponies went off to other places in the world to form their own nations, some of which were still hostile to Equestria to this very day. Others mellowed with age and became valuable trading partners. Some would go back to the Grittish Isles in what was called The Great Return, struggling to keep individual sovereignty. The Grittish Isles were still ruled by the royals of each tribe, each offering their own contribution.

Hearing a gurgle, Copperquick looked up and saw that Esmeralda was awake. She was being quiet and good, and seemed to be content to gaze upwards into the sky. Slipping his book marker into his book, he closed it and gave his daughter some much needed attention, thinking about what Miss Oddbody had said about socialising.

“Say ‘Daddy’ for me, Esmeralda.”

“Oorojaloop?”

“No, that wasn’t quite what I had in mind.”

“Shleesnorp?”

“If you keep this up, I shall have to give you a tickle.”

The foal blinked, considering her father’s words. With a grunt, Copperquick flopped down beside her and then scooped her up into his forelegs as he got comfortable on his stomach. She wiggled and kicked a bit, getting comfortable, and then went still with her head resting upon her father’s foreleg.

“Mokoo?”

“No, I must insist on being called ‘Daddy.’ Now keep trying. I’ve gone through considerable trouble to keep you and it is the least that you can do.” Copperquick settled in for a snuggle and looked down into his daughter’s amber eyes, which mirrored his own. “Now, keep in mind, we’re Grittish. We’re unflappable and polite. We work hard and we’re dignified.”

With a very surprised look upon her face, Esmeralda pooted, but did not fill her diaper.

“Yes, we occasionally do that as well.” Copperquick’s eyebrows almost pressed together. “My father gave me some advice… he told me that should I ever find myself doing that in a situation where it is unexpected or impolite, he said that I had to make eye contact as it happened and never once look away. ‘Just stare ‘em in the eye, little Copper, and don’t you look away,’ he said. And he was right. A pony will not say anything, do anything, or even react most of the time if you stare them in the eye as you let one rip.”

Copperquick heard hysterical giggling and looked up. Miss Oddbody was hovering nearby and clutching her sides as her giggles became hoots of laughter. He smiled up at her, relishing the sound of her feminine laughter, and he could not help but think that she sounded a bit like a bird as she hooted.

“Miss Oddbody, shall we go and get lunch?”

“Oh, that sounds lovely. Some place cheap though. I think I know just the place.”

Author's Note

This story is a tiny bit longer than I thought it would be, but we shall be wrapping up soon.

Chapter 11

More than a little nervous, Copperquick tried to make himself ready to face the morning. He was a little tired, but not exhausted. Last night, he had been able to study for a bit after returning home, and then he had gone to bed at a somewhat reasonable hour. Esmeralda woke up twice in the night after he had gone to bed, and both times, she had bawled for her needs to be taken care of. She seemed to be learning that it was okay to cry for help though and she was now giving off warning cries, rather than full blown wailing, at least to start off with.

The self rocking cradle was a magnificent invention that might just be the saviour of civilisation.

Sometime, during the night, Miss Oddbody had put oats into the rice cooker and now there was oatmeal for breakfast, slow cooked over the span of several hours. There were oats on the tiny patch of tile floor in his kitchenette, but nopony could be bothered to clean them. There were no containers to store the food in and the oats had spilled out of the cut open corner of the cloth sack.

With everything they needed, with all of the right papers ready and stowed away, the trio once more made off for the treasury offices to see if anything might get accomplished today. Miss Oddbody was hopeful, they did have an appeal, but Copperquick was doubtful, fearing that today would be another wasted day. The only consolation that he had for this mess was that he got to spend it with his daughter… and Miss Oddbody.

It could no longer be denied. He was growing fond of her. A crush? Infatuation? Whatever it was, he kept it to himself. She was more than a pretty set of wings to him, she was, without a doubt, the greatest thing that had happened to him. Miss Oddbody was an amazing pony and he wasn’t about to blow it. At some point, this would be over and Miss Oddbody would go on to continue with whatever was required of her. The best that he could hope for was to be friends.

This spring morning felt more like a winter morning. It was chilly, but warming up as the sun made its way into the sky. More than anything, it was the breeze that brought about the chill, which was cold enough to make a snoot sting. Esmeralda was wearing a little onesie and cap that Sapphire Shores had been gracious enough to donate. The little filly didn’t seem to mind the cold at all and she giggled with every bouncing step of her father.

“I don’t understand tribal registries,” Copperquick said as he made his way through traffic. “Why not just call it geneology and be done with it? Calling it a tribal registry seems like an invitation for more bureaucracy.”

“It’s more than that though,” Miss Oddbody replied as she buzzed in the air beside Copperquick’s head—he was walking far too fast for her to keep up on hoof.

“I don’t get it.”

“It’s a monument… a testament… it is hard proof of how much the tribes have intermingled. Very few ponies can say they are pure blooded types any more. The moment that some blowhard comes out and starts talking about tribal purity, somepony else can visit the tribal registry and see that said blowhard is quite mixed. Revealing that to the public discredits said blowhard and tribal unity is preserved.”

“Huh, I hadn’t thought of that,” Copperquick admitted.

“We can see where we’ve come from, from where we’ve been, and that we all share a common history. Sure, we still have problems, but things have gotten better.” Miss Oddbody looked up into the sky, looked thoughtful, and then continued as she flew beside Copperquick, “The ponies of Cloudsdale are still the most clannish and that is where many of the lingering problems still pop up. In sociology class, we learned that it is because Cloudsdale is so exclusive to pegasi. Earth ponies and unicorns have a hard time visiting that place, and it is even more difficult to live there. Pure bloods, thoroughbreds as they call themselves, can still be found there in significant numbers. Some of them pride themselves on never having come down to touch the ground.”

“And what about you, Miss Oddbody, how do you feel? Where do you stand on the issue?” Copperquick found himself intrigued. He came from a long line of earth ponies and it was fascinating to hear the Equestrian perspective on the issue.

“While I would not turn down the right pegasus if he came along, I will probably follow my mother’s example and marry outside of tribe.” Miss Oddbody clucked her tongue. “It feels like civic duty… adding to the great weave of the tribal registry. I see it as proof of the greatest social experiment of all times, our great Equestrian nation. Speaking as a young mare that will be a mother someday, I want my foals to grow up with multi-tribal perspectives.”

“So it comes down to civic duty?” Copperquick asked.

“A pony’s life should be defined by civic duty. We all have a debt to society to enrich it and make it better. It is like an obligation to clean up after oneself to leave an area neat and tidy. It is my opinion that the only ponies who have a right to complain about the world at large are the ones working to make it better.” Miss Oddbody grinned and looked very pleased with herself as she buzzed through the air beside Copperquick.

“So, you’d see it as your civic duty to date, say, an earth pony?” Copperquick knew he was playing a dangerous game, but he didn’t care. He was about to go into a brain dead coma when he arrived at the dole office. At least this might give him something to think about.

“That would depend,” Miss Oddbody replied in a very prim voice. “Does this earth pony have a sense of civic duty? Would he work to change the world? How does he feel about fair exchange? I have given over the entirety of my life to a cause that I believe in, as such, I would need a pony who would understand that and feel as passionately about the issues as I do.”

“Hmm.” Other than that, Copperquick did not respond and he hurried down the road.

Returning a second time, the office was somehow even more horrible. It was a matter of knowing what to expect and then being powerless to do anything about it. The conditions were every bit as miserable as the first time, if not worse, and after hours of waiting, Esmeralda was a disconsolate mess with a snotty nose.

“Look, I get what you are trying to do here,” the old unicorn mare said in a voice that was far too nasal. “I can even appreciate it. But I can’t help you. I’ll get in trouble. I could be demoted. The legalese makes it very clear that assistance is only for mothers. Females. Single. Unmarried. Who are not living at home with their parents. I would love to help you, but not at the cost of my own job. Even if I did help you, the ministry would just reverse my decision and take away any funding offered.”

Miss Oddbody’s lower lip protruded and she nodded.

“Mister Copperquick, I think what you are doing is admirable but I don’t know how to help you.” The old unicorn mare sounded apologetic and sincere.

“Mrs. Maplewood, I would like to request a same day appeal due to imminent hardship. My client faces eviction and will be homeless.” Miss Oddbody leaned her head into the window and gave the old unicorn mare a pleading look.

“I know these rules, laws, and regulations word for word.” Mrs. Maplewood scowled, then smiled. “There is absolutely nothing in the regulations explicitly stating that a single father can’t ask for an appeal. But I suspect that after today, there will be committee meetings to add that to the regulations. I’ll probably get a demerit for causing the committee to meet, but eh, screw them. What a bunch of knobs.”

“A demerit? What is this, a school?” Copperquick asked in a hushed whisper.

“No, a meritocracy,” Mrs. Maplewood replied in a dry, nasal voice. “I have my job because I got a filing cabinet as a cutie mark. The demerit system is there to keep us from getting ambitions and doing something that is believed to be beyond our reach. I am a clerk. I am supposed to get you to fill out forms and then I file them. I am not supposed to make decisions or cause a disturbance. If I do anything outside of my job description, anything at all, I get a demerit. Right now, telling you this, if one of my fellow coworkers report me, I could get another demerit and they could get a progress point.”

“Ugh.” Copperquick shook his head and didn’t know what else to say.

“Okay, pay attention father of the year, you need to go through the blue door with the number five five seven seven nine on it. You will be in a blue colour coded hallway. Follow the blue hallway and don’t go down any of the other hallways, like red, yellow, orange, or green. They intersect in a few places. Go up six flights of stairs, the lift has been broken for a year, and just keep following the blue walls. You will come to the offices of what we call the Withers Crew. They are the higher ups, but not the department heads. Take a seat in the blue waiting room and somepony will be with you at some point, you will get your appeal today before the office closes at five o’clock.”

This worried Copperquick, who had school.

“Good luck,” Mrs. Maplewood said.

“Thank you,” Copperquick replied, feeling unsettled and worried.

“Yes, thank you!” Miss Oddbody’s voice was chipper and a bit shrill in the dungeon-like environment of the deep, dark basement they were located in.

The waiting room might have been blue at one time, but now, it was a faded, weathered grey that held a suggestion of blue if one squinted and strained real hard. There were no plastic chairs here, but wooden benches stained with a dark finish, which looked out of place with the faded blue-grey walls. The lighting here was kinder, there were yellow globes mounted to brass finishings on the walls that gave a warm, pale yellow light. There was even complimentary coffee to be had here, which Miss Oddbody helped herself to.

There were no other ponies here. No receptionist. No nothing. There was the door that led back to the way they came, another door that was marked as the exit, and a third door that had to open into the offices. With it being so quiet, Esmeralda fell asleep in the foal carrier that hung from Copperquick’s neck.

“First we get sensory overload and now we get sensory deprivation.” Miss Oddbody plopped herself down onto the bench beside Copperquick and somehow did not spill her coffee, which she held between her front hooves. “We did pass some restrooms out in the hallway, if you need to go and didn’t notice.”

“I’m fine.” Copperquick looked down and listened to the sounds of his daughter sleeping.

“You know, Mister Quick, if I was looking for a partner to aid me in my left leaning shenanigans—he would need to be my helpmate. I don’t just seek a mate, but an associate.” A wry smile was on Miss Oddbody’s face as she spoke. “I’ve spent almost six years in school. I am now finishing up my thousand hours of intern service. After that, I’ll graduate with my MFOSW. Mrs. Velvet has already promised me a job. I would need a partner who is comfortable and accepting of all of this.”

Copperquick said nothing in return. He was still trying to sort his own life out. Feeling a little nervous and out of sorts, he sat there, his head bowed, looking down at his daughter. Esmeralda had changed his priorities, but he couldn’t say how much, not yet. He didn’t even know what a MFOSW was, and was just a little too embarrassed to ask.

“About a year ago, I attended a university dating service. Met a few guys. Some of them seemed nice enough… but… they wanted to be the breadwinner, which meant that they wanted a mate that was a homebody. Some of them even had the nerve to ask me if I would give up on my plans so that they could have theirs. I dropped out of the dating service. After that, I had a reputation at the university and I overheard words like ‘frigid.’ I’ll be honest, I just sort of stopped looking and I thought that maybe I’d look again when I was professionally established.”

Turning his head, Copperquick felt a sudden rush of unknown emotion. He looked at the little pegasus mare beside him. She was a tiny thing, skinny, gawky, she looked as though she was stuck in that in between stage, not quite a filly, not quite a mare, but he suspected that she was going to stay this way. She was far too much like a hummingbird, all swift movement and high energy. Feeling a lump in his throat, he swallowed, trying to make it go down.

“I still don’t know what I want in my life… and everything just got complicated. I don’t even know if I will be able to stay in school.” Copperquick wanted to say that he didn’t mind the idea of being a stay at home dad, but he could not get himself to say the words as he wasn’t sure if they were honest. “My future is uncertain and I don’t even know what priorities I should focus on to get everything back in order.”

A painful silence loitered about, waiting to see if it could settle in and overstay its welcome. Copperquick returned to staring down at his daughter and Miss Oddbody focused upon the depths of her coffee in its waxy paper cup. The silence, finding it was welcomed, made itself comfortable and snuffed out the conversation in the waiting room.

No sooner spoken than broken, the silence began to fortify itself, ensuring it would be difficult to break. It was an introspective silence, using the power of thought turned inward to muffle the sounds of life and living. It held both Copperquick and Buttermilk Oddbody in its sway, making them both feel distanced, isolated, and set apart.

In the magical land of Equestria, silence was a terrible, lurking vagrant waiting to settle in.

Author's Note

Yay, I defeated the power outage and got an update out!

Now to seek a source of entertainment during my powerless exile.

Chapter 12

Mister Blancmange was a stern looking pegasus of middle age that had a few more wrinkles than most ponies his age. He wore pince-nez glasses that somehow balanced upon the fine bridge of his muzzle and a soot grey suit that fitted him far too well for it to have been off of the rack. His mane was slicked back with an oily looking pomade that filled his office with a bitter, medicinal, almost unpleasant aroma.

“So, you have come to me seeking help,” Mister Blancmange said, his words not a question, but a statement of fact. “I will tell you right up front, there is no help to be had. You are an able bodied male and whatever help you think you need, you will not find here.”

Miss Oddbody, clearing her throat, began, “Mister Blancmange—”

“You know, not at all that long ago, there was a system of help for those who could not or would not help themselves. We had workhouses… labour farms… we had an exceptional method of patronage to help those unwilling or unable to help themselves. We had a means to carry them from the cradle to the grave. We housed them, we fed them, we sustained them, and all they had to do in return is work.”

Mister Blancmange cleared his throat, then continued, “But a certain group of radicals disparaged this system. The radicals, these… leftists, these so called bleeding hearts, they tore down a grand institution with no plans in mind to replace it. We had a fine, working system that protected the poor from starvation, deprivation, and destitution… the system worked and even generated money, enough so that it could fund itself and give a positive return to the Crown.”

Miss Oddbody sat back in her chair and scowled, while Copperquick had no reaction.

“But this system was disparaged… it was called degrading. Deequinising. These… radicals called it an affront to equine dignity. A system that housed and fed the poor. Now, these same poor sleep in the streets, wander the wilderness, and beg for food. Some have even turned to crime out of desperation. A terrible disservice was done to them, a crime perpetrated by these leftist thinkers that seek to undermine and undo our great nation and our fine social institutions. Now, almost every day, I see able bodied mares come to me, begging for more assistance, because what we give them is never enough to cover all of the things they believe they are entitled to.”

“I am more than willing to work,” Copperquick said in a low voice that threatened to crack.

“Then work,” Mister Blancmange replied. “Honestly, it is my opinion that you are using your daughter as an excuse. Do what is right for her. Place her in an orphanage or orphanarium and then return to behaving as a productive member of society. Is that so difficult?”

“I want to keep her and do right by her.” Copperquick leaned forwards in his chair and his eyes narrowed. “I’m trying to stay in school. I’ll be a better provider for her if I’m educated. I’m trying to do the right thing and take responsibility for what I have done.”

“Bah! More entitlement! Do you actually think you need an education? Work! You are an earth pony, are you not? Go and find work on a farm or a ranch somewhere! Stop making excuses! Join the guard, I understand that they make provisions for single parents and offer foal care. Or, you know, you could just do the right thing and turn your daughter over to Crown care. If you loved her half as much as you think you do, you would do the right thing, see that she is cared for by a proper maternal figure and you could return to following through with our own wish fulfillment, chasing after whatever it is that you think you are entitled to, without screwing up her life!”

“Hey!” Miss Oddbody snapped as she puffed out in a very birdlike fashion. “You are out of line, Mister Blancmange!”

Mister Blancmange turned to the smaller pegasus glaring at him and gave her a cool stare. “How typical. Let me guess… you must be one of those bleeding hearts. Look at you… just… look at you. You lack the proper cutie mark for this job. You don’t even have the proper temperament for the job. You are just some foolish young filly that thinks that you know everything because you are young and full of grandiose ideals. You let yourself be led around by emotion rather than logic, common sense, and cold reason. Perhaps you should return to whatever farm you came from before you make a fool of yourself and irreversibly mess up somepony’s life.”

As if she had been struck, Miss Oddbody fell back in her chair, slumping down, her wings sagging as her eyes flooded with tears. The pegasus mare’s ears drooped and she could no longer meet the gaze of Mister Blancmange, who continued to stare her down.

“Look at you… pathetic. Thin skinned. Worthless. Weak. Soft. You have no place here. If hearing the base truth causes you to start blubbering, then you have no place at all within this system. How could you ever be expected to make difficult decisions if you are this fragile? How could you possibly rely upon cold reason, logic, and common sense if you are too busy whinging and snotting, overcome with your weak, worthless, feminine emotions? You disgust me, you spineless, sniveling little—”

“Say one more word to her and I’ll snap your scrawny neck.” Copperquick’s words were every bit as cold and ruthless as Mister Blancmange’s. “Just one more word… say it… just say it… give me a reason to twist your pontificating head right off.”

Eyes wide and fearful, Mister Blancmange turned his attention to Copperquick. A large throbbing vein stood out in high relief upon Copperquick’s neck. Miss Oddbody had covered her face with her hooves and was letting out the worst sounding choked sobs. The tension in the room grew unbearable, and Mister Blancmange sank back in his opulent, well padded chair as Copperquick stared him down.

“Miss Oddbody,” Copperquick said in a soft voice to his companion, “I do believe that it is time for us to be going. Come on… come with me, Miss Oddbody.”

“I want you out of my office,” Mister Blancmange demanded.

“Shut up!” Copperquick bellowed. “You cold, heartless little ass! Just shut up! There is no way that you will survive long enough for security to get here! Not one more word out of you! Not ONE!”

Cowed, Mister Blancmange sat in his seat, quivering and terrified of the much larger and much more powerful earth pony. In the close confines of the office, there was no doubt of the outcome of the conflict, if it happened. The smaller pegasus stallion shook with so much force that his pince-nez glasses slipped from his muzzle and fell to the floor with a clatter.

Saying nothing, Copperquick collected Miss Oddbody and departed.

Outside, free of the confines of Mister Blancmange’s office, Copperquick eased Miss Oddbody off of his back, down to the sidewalk, where she buried her face into her hooves once more and sobbed in earnest. Esmeralda was becoming fussy as well and sounded as though she might start squalling. Not knowing what to do, Copperquick sat down beside Miss Oddbody and tried to collect himself.

“This is all I’ll ever be,” Miss Oddbody said into her hooves as she sobbed.

“Miss Oddbody?”

“Just some dumb mare with a soft heart. Some stupid mare. Just a mare with a bleeding heart! Just some worthless mare who should have stayed on the farm! Or better yet, in the kitchen! Everything goes wrong when a mare leaves the kitchen!”

Copperquick couldn’t figure out what to say. He scooted a little closer to Miss Oddbody, not knowing what to do to comfort her. Being the young and single sort, he didn’t have a lot of experience in comforting crying mares and he was quite scared of the whole situation, even though he would never admit it.

A part of him also understood Mister Blancmange. That horrible, wretched pegasus’ whole job was to make sure that those who made appeals were turned down and driven out of the building. His job was to run interference. And he had. Feeling degraded, feeling put down, feeling absolutely worthless, Copperquick found himself crying, and no matter what he did, he couldn’t hold back the tears that started to flow.

Deep inside, in the back of his mind, a little voice of doubt could now be heard. Was he doing the right thing for his daughter? Was he even fit to be a father? Perhaps he should drop out of school and join the guard or go and work on a farm somewhere. He didn’t need to be educated, he just needed to work. Was he using his daughter as an excuse? Overcome with doubt, Copperquick fell apart with frightening rapidity and his soft cries became hard, body wracking sobs.

“I feel so worthless,” Miss Oddbody said to Copperquick, “I feel so frail and vulnerable right now. It hurts inside.”

Without thinking about what he was doing, Copperquick pulled Miss Oddbody close to him. She resisted a bit, but gave up almost right away, and then the two of them sat together on the sidewalk. Esmeralda, upset, quieted just a bit when she was sandwiched between the two ponies who hugged one another.

But the hug wasn’t enough. Seeking comfort, without really thinking about about what he was doing, Copperquick slipped one foreleg around Miss Oddbody’s neck, he tipped her backwards a bit, and when she opened up her mouth to cry out, he kissed her, squishing Esmeralda between them. For a moment, there was resistance as she tried to push him away, but that resistance was short lived and then she pulled him closer. The little pegasus mare’s wings began flapping, then buzzing, and then it was all Copperquick could do to keep himself and Miss Oddbody on the ground.

It was Copperquick that pulled away with a breathless, slobbery pop. He let go and Miss Oddbody floated away, her wings buzzing, and she hovered around his head with a strange sad grin upon her face. The skinny little pegasus buzzed in a circle around the earth pony’s head a few times, then flew up in front of him.

“You kissed me.” Miss Oddbody looked Copperquick in the eye.

“Well, I think it is safe to say that you kissed me back.”

“You fool, you don’t know what you’ve done.” Miss Oddbody buzzed off and returned to circling around Copperquick’s head. “Tomorrow, I will have to report this to Mrs. Velvet. I’ve become emotionally involved. I’m going to have to be removed from the case.”

“I’m sorry—mmmph!”

Jamming one petite hoof into Copperquick’s mouth to silence him, Miss Oddbody said, “Don’t be sorry. This is my fault. I started this when I followed my Moomy’s advice and fixed you hot buttery toast with cheese. She told me that it would work and it did. I know I shouldn’t have done it, but I did it, and now I have to live with the consequences.” Adjusting her glasses with one hoof, she yanked her other hoof out of Copperquick’s mouth. “I’ve goofed, but I don’t regret it.”

“I don’t know what’s going on.” Copperquick, sitting on the sidewalk, watched as the pegasus mare he had just kissed flew circles around his head.

“Tomorrow, a bunch of stuff will have to be sorted out. I’ll face the consequences, but it will be worth it. Not to worry though, as I’m not giving up on you. I’ll find a way.” Miss Oddbody, revitalised, began flitting around like a hummingbird. “Come on, we need to get you home and then off to school. We can’t mess that up, Mrs. Velvet would kill me for sure.”

“I have mail,” Copperquick said as he peered into his mailbox. Peeping in, he saw the white envelope and it took a little effort to fish it out. Not having magic or dextrous wings, he had to do things the hard way and his hoof didn’t quite fit into the narrow mailbox. When he managed to get it out, it plopped down onto the cement.

Bowing his head, he picked it up in his lips, then got a grip on it with his fetlock. Holding it, he looked at Miss Oddbody, still sorting out his feelings about the kiss, and then he looked at the envelope, which was heavy and full of papers. It was addressed to Father, infant earth pony female.

Using his teeth, he tore away the top edge of the envelope and then just stared at it, wanting to know what it was, but not wanting to dump it out on the sidewalk. He should have waited on opening it until he was inside his apartment. He gave Miss Oddbody a sheepish grin and hoped that she would take a hint.

“Give me that!” Miss Oddbody snatched the envelope from Copperquick and pulled out the bundle of papers inside. Standing on the sidewalk, she used her wings to unfold the paper and have a look. After a few seconds, her mouth fell open and her eyes went wide.

“What is it?” Copperquick asked.

Saying nothing, Miss Oddbody held out the papers for Copperquick to read, which he did. The pair, now both in shock, stood there together, open mouthed, wide-eyed, and both of them were too stunned to do much else. Copperquick staggered backwards a bit and shook his head.

“Oh, that’s just not fair,” he breathed, having trouble making the words.

Miss Oddbody bit down upon her lip, shook her head, and said nothing.

“I can’t pay that… that’s more bits than I make in a year, and most of my bits go to rent and college. Right now, I don’t even have a job.” Once again, more tears welled up in Copperquick’s eyes and he shook his head as the first one rolled down his cheek. “That dirty bitch stuck me with the bill. I can’t believe it… this is how much it costs to give birth?”

“If there are complications, yes, maybe, or other procedures done,” Miss Oddbody said in a low voice. “They sent a list of services rendered. We’ll need to talk to Mrs. Velvet about this too, tomorrow.”

“I… I can buy a house in Ponyville for this kind of money.” Astonished, Copperquick just stood there, stunned, and crying once more, doing nothing to hold it back. “How am I ever going to get my head above water now? How can they do this to ponies?”

“You need to be off to school. Give me little Esmeralda and her foal stuff. Try not to worry about it too much. I’ll have dinner ready when you come home tonight, but you’ll owe me—”

“Fair exchange,” Copperquick said, butting in because he knew what was about to be said.

“Hurry, you are going to be late for class! Get a move on, you big lug!”

Author's Note

For every action...

Chapter 13

When Copperquick opened up the door, he heard the sounds of his daughter crying. He made his way inside in a hurry and shut the door behind him with one hind hoof. His tiny living room was dim, but not dark. Something smelled like food, but he wasn’t sure what it was. Miss Oddbody was on his beat up, abused couch, and she looked as though she had been crying.

“You look like you’ve been crying,” Miss Oddbody said, saying what Copperquick was thinking. “Have a long walk home? You’re a little late.”

“I’m fine.” Copperquick let his saddlebags fall to the floor with a thump and then he moved over to the couch so he could sit down and maybe quiet his shrieking filly.

Esmeralda seemed happy to see him, she waved and kicked her legs as she screamed, but when he held her, she did not quiet. Now in her father’s embrace, she sucked in as much air as possible and then let out an ear piercing yell that made everything in the tiny living room rattle. Copperquick bounced her around, trying what few tricks he knew to quiet her, but she seemed inconsolable.

After such a long day, Copperquick was tired, hurt, angry, frustrated, scared, anxious, and his nerves were worn thin. But he didn’t take his feelings out on his daughter. He just sat there, holding her, a thousand yard stare upon his face as Esmeralda tested the upper limits of the power of her voice.

Exasperated, he held his daughter up in front his face, her tiny body inches from his nose, and asked in a patient, loving voice, “What do you want, Esme?”

Surprised, perhaps a little spooked, the foal quieted for a moment as she beat and kicked her front legs against her father’s nose. Esmeralda made a few fussy half cries, but appeared to be concentrating. A long string of dribble spilled out of her lips and she looked over at Miss Oddbody.

“Mama?” Esmeralda looked around after she said the word, looking at Copperquick, then back at Miss Oddbody. Then, without warning, she returned to shrieking with as much volume as she could muster as her father held her. “MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

Nopony said a word. Miss Oddbody pulled her glasses off and set them down upon the battered coffee table that had seen better days. The dog-eared copy of Rarity’s Fashion Catalogue: Spring Review Edition was no longer anywhere to be found. Miss Oddbody rubbed her eyes with her fetlocks for a few seconds, then, groaning, she scooted closer on the couch.

Acting on a hunch, Copperquick reenacted the embrace from earlier today. He sat the foal down between them and pulled Miss Oddbody closer. Right away, Esmeralda stopped crying and decided that her hoof was now far more interesting. Miss Oddbody let out a sob of relief and then, without warning, she began crying into her front hooves, just as she had been doing earlier in the day.

Slipping his foreleg around her slender, supple neck, Copperquick joined her. He pulled her close and made her rest her head against his neck as he let his tears go in silence. Sandwiched between them, Esmeralda was chewing on her hoof and starting to nod off, now too tired and exhausted to keep her eyes open.

“I did very little but cry this evening,” Miss Oddbody confessed as she wept.

“I had to be excused from one of my classes… I explained things to my professor and she was very nice. I had trouble concentrating. My grades are going to suffer.” Copperquick closed his eyes and leaned a little on Miss Oddbody, who leaned right back. “I didn’t mean to make things complicated by kissing you. I don’t know what came over me.”

Sniffling, Miss Oddbody shuddered a bit and then tried to swallow her sobs. Turning her head, she looked up at Copperquick, who was a good bit taller than her, even sitting down. She reached up with her small, dainty hoof, and patted the corner of his sturdy jaw. After a few more sniffles, she wiped her eyes with her cardigan sleeve.

“I fixed beans and some cornbread.” Miss Oddbody let out a hiccup and then turned away from Copperquick. “I must look hideous. My sleeve is all snotty and I know I smell. I thought about how messy I was, how messy the apartment was, and how I couldn’t get Esmeralda quiet, and then I thought about you coming home to this and it made me cry even more.”

“Yeah, but I came home to you and Esmeralda.”

“Oh… you…” Miss Oddbody choked on her own phlegm and she started coughing into her hoof. It took her over a minute to make the coughing stop, and then she sank against Copperquick, exhausted and breathless. She closed her eyes and then remained silent, recuperating.

“All night, I’ve been second guessing myself. I keep thinking I should drop out of college. I should join the guard. I should go to Ponyville and see if I can get a job and lodging on one of the many farms there. I keep thinking about all of these scenarios over and over in my mind, and all of them fall flat and I can’t bring myself to do any of them.” Copperquick felt his neck and cheeks grow warm as he made his confession.

“Why is that?” Miss Oddbody lifted Esmeralda into her forelegs and cradled the now sleepy foal.

“Well, the main reason, in each of those scenarios, you weren’t there.” Copperquick had trouble getting the words out, and his voice cracked a bit. He felt Miss Oddbody stiffen against him and he couldn’t bring himself to look down at her face. He stared at the wall instead, and tears rolled down his now shiny, slicked cheeks. “My daughter just said her first word and I don’t know how I should feel. I’m so tired and numb and overwhelmed. I feel dead inside. I’m starving, I need to study, I’m exhausted, and deep inside of me, I’m still boiling over with rage from earlier, but I’m too tired to do anything about it. The hospital bill scares me to death, I know I’ll be taken to court over it. I keep fantasising about twisting Mister Blancmange’s head off of his neck. I’m not sure, but I think I’m having a nervous breakdown.”

“I keep wrestling with my master plan,” Miss Oddbody whispered in reply. “I keep thinking about today and everything that’s happened. I thought about quitting, even though the finish line is in sight, and going back home to the farm. Every time I cried, I thought about what that horrible pony said, and I felt ashamed. I kept hearing his words about how worthless and weak I am, because I have emotions. So, I’d cry and I feel worse, but no matter how I tried, I couldn’t stop feeling… I couldn’t make my emotions just go away. For about an hour, I kept rehearsing the conversation I am going to have to have with Mrs. Velvet tomorrow, I kept trying to imagine how it is going to be like, how I am going to explain myself and my breach of professionalism. And even with all of this going on in my head, I keep wondering… is there some way to hold on to you so I can have you when the dust settles?”

“Will you be in trouble?” Copperquick asked.

“Maybe.” Miss Oddbody offered up a half shrug. “Like I said, I keep rehearsing all of these scenarios and driving myself crazy. I know I goofed, and I know that I should care. I know that I should be angry with myself. I know that I shouldn’t even be here right now, I should have gone back to the office and reported this incident right away. I’ve really messed up and I don’t know how Mrs. Velvet is going to respond. For all I know, my head might roll and I might’ve messed up my future.”

“Well, I know mine is a mess.” Copperquick let out a sigh, leaned over a bit more, and allowed his head to come to rest on top of Miss Oddbody’s. “I am just waiting for a police pony to arrive at my door and arrest me for what I said to that wretched Mister Blancmange. I know that what I did was wrong and is a punishable offense.”

“Why’d you do it?” Miss Oddbody asked.

“Don’t make me say it.”

“Why?”

“Because he made you cry, okay? Look, I feel like a huge hypocrite right now and I am really beating myself up. I have been all night. I did something incredibly irresponsible that has screwed up my life. I banged Cielo del Este and I didn’t give a damn about her. She was just a warm body for me to jam my willy in and get my rocks off. And not just her, but others. I even led one filly along and kept telling her that we had something special and then I broke it off after I shagged her because I didn’t want to deal with a relationship. I made her cry. I can’t even remember her name. I’m a right git.”

Wiggling one wing free, Buttermilk Oddbody slapped Copperquick in the face. “That’s for being a cad. I forgive you for being a cad. What you just did took guts. You didn’t have to tell me the truth, but you did. Thank you.”

Cheek stinging, Copperquick felt as though he deserved that. The pain made his eyes water all the more and he blinked away more tears. He thought about his many mistakes and the big mistake, the one that was going to cost him. His future was on the line.

“She called me ‘Mama.’ I don’t know how to feel about that.” Miss Oddbody looked down at the foal she held in her forelegs, a foal that was now asleep. “Have I messed up? Have I made a mistake? Have I become emotionally involved at a time when I shouldn’t’ve? I’m terrified that I’ve messed up my future. I don’t know what Mrs. Velvet is going to say tomorrow. Just thinking about it right now makes me want to start crying. I think about it and my stomach starts doing flip-flops.”

After a bit of a snort, she continued, “This is my first big case and I messed up. What if I’m really not cut out for this? What if Mister Blancmange is right? I don’t have the cutie mark for this. On my first big case, I screwed up and I got emotionally involved. I made a mess of things. What will this mean for my future cases? What if I mess those up too? What if I get involved and my heart gets broken? What if I can’t be profess—mmmMMMmmm!”

Not knowing how to silence Miss Oddbody, Copperquick kissed her again, just as he had seen his dad do to his mom. The kiss was distinctly snotty and tasted of mucus. There was bad breath too. It was, without a doubt, pretty much the worst sort of kiss that could be exchanged between two ponies.

And Copperquick found that he didn’t mind.

After Copperquick pulled away, Miss Oddbody asked, “Are you just going to keep doing that?”

Lifting his head, his ears perking to a more erect position, Copperquick felt no need to answer that. Smacking his lips, he couldn’t help but notice that pegasus ponies drooled a lot. Like, a whole lot. That suited him fine and he found that he didn’t mind. Lifting a foreleg, he wiped his muzzle, sniffled a bit, and wished that he would stop crying.

“Wow, she’s really out. I think that she’ll probably sleep for hours because she had to have worn herself out with all the fussing she did.” Miss Oddbody looked up at Copperquick. “I’m going to put her in her cradle and then I’m going to take a shower. You should eat something and then try to study if you can. With both of our futures so uncertain, we should at least continue with the notion that everything can be salvaged. When I get done showering, I’ll see what I can do to help you study.”

Tilting his head, Copperquick looked down at the pegasus mare beside him. “You’d do that for me?”

Miss Oddbody sniffled a bit and her face took on a very sour expression. “Logic, common sense, and cold reason dictate that we have a better chance of survival helping one another. This isn’t an emotional decision, but a practical one. I’m certainly not doing this out of any sense of feeling for you.”

“I see.” Copperquick’s eyebrow arched and he saw that Miss Oddbody was now struggling to maintain her sour expression. Her whole body shook and the corners of her mouth kept twitching. “Very professional, Miss Oddbody, very professional.”

“Indeed.” The pegasus mare snorted and then began to chortle a bit. “I think my stinky wingpits make me extra professional. Tell me, what do you think, Mister Quick?”

“Oh, quite.” Looking down, Copperquick was overcome with a flood of emotion as he looked into Miss Oddbody’s eyes. Her mascara, what little bit that she wore, had ran. Her face was snotty, both her nose and her eyes were red and puffy, and most of her bun had fallen out. In the center of her mass of mane, her hairpin stood out, a simple, understated hairpin.

He found her beautiful and he wondered what was wrong with him.

Author's Note

Almost done...

Chapter 14

Feeling insecure and worried, Copperquick helped to clear away the breakfast dishes. The morning meal was leftover beans and cornbread from the late night meal before studying. As he cleared up the mess, Esmeralda wobbled around the living room area on her short, stubby legs, following after a bright red rubber ball covered in five pointed golden stars that she pushed around with her nose.

This was far from domestic bliss, but Copperquick found that he liked it a great deal. Perhaps infatuation dulled the senses and made everything more tolerable than it really was. When he heard a sigh from Miss Oddbody, his ears perked and he tensed, already knowing the problem. What if Mrs. Velvet put her hoof down and forbade any further contact between the two of them? It was unlikely that Mrs. Velvet would do such a thing, but Miss Oddbody was fretful about it.

“What do you think destiny is and how do you think it works?” Miss Oddbody asked.

After pondering her words for a moment, Copperquick shrugged his withers. “No clue.”

“I have a butter churn for a cutie mark… maybe I do belong on a farm somewhere. I’ve certainly made a mess of things here.” Miss Oddbody took a moment to straighten out her glasses and when she did so, a tendril of her mane slipped out of her fresh morning bun. “Maybe when things spiral out of control it is a sign that destiny is less than pleased with you, and it is time for you to consider changing your ways.”

Copperquick himself wanted to know how destiny worked. Could and would destiny bring two ponies together that didn’t love one another just to create a foal that needed to be born for whatever reason? Was there a purpose to Esmeralda? Why did she exist? Why did he exist? For that matter, why did any of them exist? Cielo del Este was an awful pony but a hot piece of tail. What role did she play in destiny? Copperquick thought about what great ulterior motive destiny might have had in bringing him and her together.

Not a navel gazer or a contemplator of his own hooves, Copperquick found himself doing some real, serious introspection for the first time in his life. Was this growing up? Is this what infatuation did to a pony? Turning his head, he looked over at his daughter, who was burbling and spitting all over the floor.

“I hate this… I hate this! I keep second guessing myself! That loathsome Mister Blancmange has undermined my self confidence. I cannot stand this feeling of doubt!” Miss Oddbody began to sniffle and then gnawed upon her upper lip, trying to hold everything in. She said nothing else, but flounced over to the couch and sat down.

“Mama?” Esmeralda’s backside fell down to the floor and she sat down. After a precarious balancing act, she managed to sit up on her own, wobbling, holding her forelegs up, which she wiggled, and she focused her bright amber eyes upon Miss Oddbody. “Flibbibbity!” The raspberry was loud and clear in the small room and Esmeralda’s tongue flapped around a good bit.

“I don’t know how I feel when she calls me that,” Miss Oddbody admitted as she shook her head. “I wonder what my Moomy might say. I can’t even imagine how my mother might react to all of this. Will she be angry? Would she praise me? Scold me? I don’t even know. I feel like the bottom is falling out of my life.”

“For whatever it is worth, I do not have school tonight.” Copperquick looked down at his daughter, who was staring at the pegasus on the couch. “After we take care of things today, we can sort out whatever happens next and not have to worry for time.”

“We should get ready to go.” Miss Oddbody’s voice wavered and she did not sound calm.

Once more, Copperquick found himself lingering in front of the bakery window, looking at the sun cookies. Sun shaped, decorated with yellow and orange piping, and the sign promised delectable ginger goodness. As he stood there, staring, he suffered a peculiar thought. Where were the moon cookies and what might they taste like?

“You know, some foals can’t stand being hauled around in a carrier, but Esmeralda seems to enjoy it. I think she just likes being close to her Daddy.” With a wry smile, Miss Oddbody lowered her voice and added, “I know I do.”

“You mean, this isn’t normal?” Copperquick turned to face Miss Oddbody with a look of concern upon his face. “How do parents manage?”

The pegasus, only somewhat perky, shrugged and gave a flap of her wings. “I don’t know. But I’d keep an eye on that one. We already know that she is a horrid little manipulator. Last night on the couch—”

“What an awful thing to say!”

“Well, that doesn’t make it less true—”

“Oh, I never said that it wasn’t true, just that it was awful to say.”

Both ponies held their composure for a moment, looking serious, and then they began sniggering together as they looked one another in the eye. Copperquick looked down at his daughter, then back up at Miss Oddbody as he continued to chuckle. Without the need to say anything, both ponies knew it was time to get moving, and they departed from the bakery window.

Copperquick couldn’t help but think that something was wrong, as Mrs. Velvet was waiting for them. She stood there, tapping her hoof, and she had an unreadable expression upon her face. As he came to a halt, he couldn’t help but notice that Miss Oddbody was trembling hard enough to knock her glasses askew.

The stains had been removed from the stone floor, but it remained unbuffed and unpolished. Some of the half rotten wainscotting had been torn away, revealing the mould and filth beneath. The hallway smelled of cleanser and chemicals.

“Mrs. Velvet, I have a confession to make and I ask that you be gentle because I’m having a very trying time right now.” Miss Oddbody stepped forwards and then began try and make her cardigan look a little more presentable. “I beg for your patience, Mrs. Velvet, and your kindness.”

“I already know.” Twilight Velvet took a step towards Miss Oddbody.

“What? How? Are you spying on me?” Miss Oddbody took a step backwards, and bumped into Copperquick, who just stood there, doing nothing.

“Not intentionally.” Twilight Velvet cleared her throat, then smiled a gentle, reassuring smile. “You never turned off your hairpin after your meeting yesterday. I have listened to every word said, every tearful confession, and every bit of your fear and doubts.” The middle aged mare lifted her gaze and looked up at Copperquick. “By the way, congratulations on Esmeralda’s first word. Getting them to talk is easy, it is getting them to be quiet that is the tough and tricky thing.”

Flummoxed, Copperquick stood there and did not respond.

“Well, I feel stupid.” Miss Oddbody blinked a few times, shuffled around on her hooves, and then shook her head. “I was so upset that I didn’t even think about my hairpin. Oh bother.” Extending one wing, she covered her face and then just stood there, berating herself in silence.

“Um, I have a question about Mister Blancmange,” Copperquick said in a hesitant sort of way. “What will become of him? I rather feel that he has crossed the line and something should be done.”

“Oh, I assure you, something will be done. Later today, Mister Blancmange will be meeting with the Lord Mayor, Prince Blueblood and an internal affairs committee. I fear that Mister Blancmange will no doubt be returning to the basement from where he started his career, if he is not asked to tender his resignation outright.” Twilight Velvet, looking troubled and a bit angry, shook her head.

“Look, I know what I did was wrong and I am willing to accept my punishment. I just ask for leniency and that you don’t take me away from my daughter.” Copperquick’s voice was dry and scratchy as he spoke, and Miss Oddbody leaned up against his front left leg.

“I can’t say this in an official capacity, but I admire you for what you said.” Twilight Velvet smacked her lips together for a moment, then clucked her tongue. “But in an official capacity… you were very, very naughty, Mister Copperquick, and you should be ashamed.”

“Will he be punished?” Miss Oddbody asked.

“At this time, the Lord Mayor has no desire to punish Copperquick and as far as I know, plans to let the issue drop. Mister Blancmange needed to be exposed, and both you and Copperquick have done the city of Canterlot a service.” Twilight Velvet took another step forwards and focused her attention on Esmeralda, whom she smiled at.

“And what about us?” Miss Oddbody’s voice was almost squeaky with worry.

“Well, after hearing what Mister Blancmange had to say, I had to report to my own boss, and she was quite irate.” As Twilight Velvet spoke, another pony stepped out from a doorway and came into view. She was tall, she was slender, she was regal, and she was pink. “She had quite a bit to say about the two of you and we listened to your conversation well into the night.”

“Princess Cadance,” Miss Oddbody said as she bowed her head, and then she kicked Copperquick in the leg to snap him out of his stupour.

“Princess.” Copperquick bent his neck and even flexed his front legs a little, but tried to do so without disturbing Esmeralda too much. “It is an honour and a privilege to meet you.”

“Please, call me Cadance.” The alicorn’s gentle voice held a faint trace of mirth and a twinkle of mischief could be seen in her eye. She strode forwards until she stood beside Twilight Velvet, then stopped, and she bowed her own head. “I am sorry for what you went through.”

“I suppose I am in some serious trouble.” Drooping, Miss Oddbody was unable to even look at Twilight Velvet or Cadance. The skinny little pegasus flapped her wings once and then pressed up against Copperquick once more, as if seeking reassurance or comfort. When Cadance focused her gaze upon her, Miss Oddbody ducked beneath Copperquick, as she was small enough to fit beneath him. Like a foal, she peered out from between his front legs, but was unable to make eye contact with Cadance.

“If I may be direct, there is something I want from the two of you,” Cadance said in a straightforward manner. “I wish to run a bit of an experiment of the social variety. I would like for the two of you to work together as a team. Mister Copperquick, or should I just call you Mister Quick, I would very much like to have you among my stable of employees.”

“Why?” Copperquick asked as Esmeralda reached down and tried to get Miss Oddbody’s ears, which were almost within her reach. The foal let out a delighted squeal and Copperquick leveled his curious gaze upon Cadance. “I don’t understand what I could possibly have to offer you.”

Cadance, turning away, began pacing before she answered. “Mister Quick, there is nothing that feels worse than being patronised.”

“I don’t follow.” Copperquick’s ears waggled as he tried to keep up. “If I patronised you, I’m sorry.”

Smiling, Cadance continued, “A patient, suffering excruciating pain, goes to their doctor and says that it hurts. The doctor, who has never felt excruciating pain, says that they understand and they try to reassure the patient. The patient feels patronised.”

Miss Oddbody emerged from beneath Copperquick and looked up at Cadance.

“A social worker, who has never had foals, tries to tell a single mother who is deep in trouble that she understands what the mother is going through. Even though the social worker means well, the single mother feels patronised. It hurts and it is demeaning. It degrades the equine spirit. Feeling patronised is a symptom of empty empathy, and there is only one cure.” Cadance paused in her pacing and looked at Twilight Velvet for a moment before she went on, “A single father, seeking help, is told by a social worker, ‘I know what you are going through.’ This is an outright falsehood and no doubt, this poor single father is going to feel patronised. An already trying experience is made worse by well meaning, but careless words.”

“Um, okay.” Copperquick wasn’t sure what any of this had to do with him.

“There are a lot of single fathers out there, Mister Quick, and almost nothing is being done to help them. Right now, you stand on the very brink of greatness, even though your life has sunk to a low point. You have experience, Mister Quick, as a single father you are beginning to experience the humiliation, the degradation, and all of the trials of a pony in your position.” Cadance turned, took a few steps, and then stood almost snoot to snoot with Copperquick as Miss Oddbody scrambled out of the way of the much larger mare. “Mister Quick, I crave this valuable experience. It is my desire that you will come and work for me. You could very easily transfer into equine services and get a general degree.”

“I don’t know what to say.” Copperquick just stood there, and stared at Cadance.

“Well, to be honest, I can’t pay you much. To start with, nothing at all. But I could see that you get a stipend for daily living expenses. I would of course, look after you and see that your needs are provided for. I can’t promise you a good life, Mister Quick… in fact, this will be an awful life, with many days just like yesterday.” Cadance lowered her head, extended her neck, and nosed Esmeralda, who began giggling at Cadance’s tender touch.

“And what about me?” Miss Oddbody asked.

Clucking her tongue, Cadance smiled and focused her attention upon Miss Oddbody. She stood there for a time, studying the much smaller pegasus, and she even reached out a wing to touch Miss Oddbody’s cheek. “It is my understanding that you have surpassed the thousand hours required for your internship. You will be graduating soon. I fear that the best I could pay you is a paltry sum, a pittance really, and not worthy of a pony of your skills or dedication. I do believe that you and Mister Quick will make a good team. But I fear this means going and facing more ponies just like Mister Blancmange.”

Miss Oddbody recoiled and then scooted around to get close to Copperquick again.

“As for the immediate future,” Twilight Velvet said in a smooth, calm voice, “Cadance is already assembling a team of lawyers that will be willing to challenge the courts with us and make history. She and I will continue to support the both of you for the time being and we will continue to try and make a dent in the system. We both want you to keep trying to get aid and make appeals while we prepare to go after Cielo del Este for foal support.”

“And what about this hospital bill?” Copperquick asked.

“Well, the law states that if the mother refuses to pay, or is otherwise unable to pay, the father is legally responsible for paying the bill. It is a punitive law, one created to discourage sexual promiscuity and it is meant to punish careless, deadbeat fathers.” Cadance’s lips pressed into a tight pucker and she shook her head.

Stepping forward, Twilight Velvet picked up where Cadance left off. “I don’t know if we can help you on that one, but we’re going to try. Right now, you are the primary caretaker of Esmeralda Verde, and such a bill would be detrimental to her care. You are already doing your part, so the punitive spirit of the law is already being satisfied.”

“Mister Quick, this is going to be brutal and unpleasant. Your character is going to be assaulted and torn down by ponies far more skilled than Mister Blancmange. You will no doubt end up in the newspapers. Miss Cielo del Este may even try to challenge you for legal custody of Esmeralda Verde once she is served with papers for foal support, if we can get a magistrate to go along with our plan.” Cadance’s mask fell away and she looked pained.

“Rest assured, we’ll be fighting with you every step of the way.” Twilight Velvet stepped forwards and stood beside Cadance. “As I have said, I am willing to die upon this hill. This is the fight that I feel will make me or break me as I try to make some much needed changes to the system. I know that I am asking a lot of you.”

“Well, Miss Oddbody, what do you say? This is our chance to be together and do something good.” Copperquick blinked and his eyes widened. “Say, do we get fancy codenames since we’re working for a princess?”

Without even a fraction of a second’s worth of hesitation, Cadance replied, “Agent Bun and Agent Bowler.”

“I keep thinking about what Mister Blancmange said yesterday. It has left me shaken. I must confess, he tore down my confidence.” The little pegasus mare bowed her head and let out sigh. “I am filled with doubt as to my ability to do my job, and I still feel bad for my breach of professional behaviour.”

“Oh, come off of it!” Cadance said to Miss Oddbody in a loud, booming voice. “Shining Armor was assigned to me as my personal protector and escort whenever I took to the streets of Canterlot. He was supposed to protect me from unsavoury sorts who wished to grope and ogle me. Truth be told, he groped and ogled me every chance he got, and I returned the favour. Everything worked out. Everything got smoothed over.”

“What is with the shouting?” A clarion voice asked from another room. “Did something go wrong?”

“No!” Cadance yelled into the other room, her voice echoing. She offered up a sheepish grin and looked around. In a much quieter voice, she explained, “That’s my boss. We’re all planning and plotting together, trying to figure out how to fix this mess.”

A second later, a tall white alicorn emerged, holding a cup of tea in her magic. Before anypony had a chance to respond, she said, “Don’t even think about bowing. Just don’t. I’ve had a rough week and I am just not in the mood for all of that annoying prostrating and fawning.”

“My boss,” Cadance said in a sheepish voice.

“Oh my, that is a pretty foal.” Princess Celestia moved forward, her golden shod hooves clattering upon the stone floor, and she got right up in Esmeralda’s face. “Oh, who is adorable! You are! Yes, you are!”

With Princess Celestia inches away from him, Copperquick remained frozen and did not move. He hardly even breathed. Rigid, he stared straight ahead, trying not to blink as Princess Celestia bumped snoots with his daughter. One of his ears betrayed him and began twitching, revealing his nervous energy.

Lifting her head, Princess Celestia looked Copperquick, who had started sweating, right in the eye. She studied him for a time, squinting, her eyes narrow, and then she pulled away with a snort that blew his graham cracker coloured mane back from his face. Turning her head, she looked at Cadance and asked, “What’s with him?”

Unable to stop herself, Cadance turned away and started laughing and so did Twilight Velvet. The two mares stood tittering, while Copperquick remained statuesque. Arching an eyebrow, Princess Celestia turned her authoritative stare upon Miss Oddbody, who shrank back from her monarch.

“I listened to quite a bit of your conversation with Copperquick,” Celestia admitted and her words caused Miss Oddbody to squeak. “It was the highlight of my miserable week. I like knowing that my little ponies somehow manage to find happiness together even in the most miserable of circumstances.”

Her face turning a bright, vivid red, Miss Oddbody nodded.

“If you will excuse me, I must see if I can find the biscotti I had stashed here. I could have swore I left a strategic biscotti reserve behind should I need it when I returned.” Turning about Princess Celestia strode away, sipping her tea and mumbling something to herself about pretty foals.

When the white alicorn vanished through the door, Cadance let out a sigh and Twilight Velvet, who had helped to consume part of the strategic biscotti reserve, looked a bit worried. The two mares shared a glance at one another, then both looked at Miss Oddbody and Copperquick. A four way glance was exchanged.

Looking down at his daughter, Copperquick let heave a sigh, and then he looked up at Cadance. “I’ll check and see about transferring into equine services. I owe my daughter some kind of future, and I want her to live in a better world. I’ll see what I can do about helping you bring about some changes. You’ve given me a chance, an opportunity, and I would be a fool to turn that down.”

Miss Oddbody, who was jittering with anxiety, scooted closer to Copperquick. In a soft, almost unheard whisper, she said, “The heart wants what it wants. I don’t know what the future will bring, but I know what I’m doing for now.”

“We have much to discuss, how about we go someplace a bit more pleasant to do so? Perhaps a tearoom or a coffee shop?” Cadance gave the group of ponies a hopeful look.

“I know a place!” Celestia shouted from the back room. “They have excellent biscotti!”

“Well, it is settled, then.” Twilight Velvet smiled and relaxed a bit, no longer worried about the biscotti. The middle aged mare focused her attention upon Miss Oddbody and gave the still anxious pegasus a reassuring smile. “I think the both of you are going to work well together. I am looking forwards to seeing what develops.”

“Every great thing we do starts off with a few timid, but brave steps.” Cadance reached out a wing and touched Esmeralda, who cooed at the princess’ soft touch. “I look forward to working with all of you.” Cadance turned and focused all of her attention upon Copperquick. She smiled, then turned away and stepped back.

“Buttermilk Oddbody…” Copperquick shifted on his hooves and squirmed a bit. “I look forwards to working with you.”

Her wings buzzing, the pegasus let out a squeal, rose into a hover, and then covered her face with her front hooves. “Please, just call me Buttermilk.” Overcome with emotion, she buzzed off and vanished through the same door where Princess Celestia had vanished. “I need a moment!”

Just as Copperquick started to relax a bit, Princess Celestia’s voice rang out, “You know, if I didn’t know better, I’d think that somepony got into my strategic biscotti reserves!”

Author's Note

An epilogue is coming. Soon.

Epilogue

Basking in the warm glow of the sun, his stomach full of tea, buttery cucumber sandwiches, and biscotti, Copperquick had a moment of quiet reflection to be thankful for all that he had. He faced an uncertain future, but that wasn’t so bad. Whatever the future was going to be, he wasn’t facing it alone. Buttermilk would be there with him, along with Mrs. Velvet, and waiting in the wings, sometimes unseen, would be Princess Cadance, who was building an army of social workers, therapists, and like-minded associates willing to help her achieve her vision for Equestria.

Esmeralda sat on a blanket spread over the grass staring at a fountain that gushed water into decorative geysers. She was small, cute, and in need of a nap. Even now, she wobbled, but resisted falling over and going to sleep. And who could blame her? The day was almost perfect.

Not far away, Twilight Velvet sat on a bench, writing something in a ledger. She had brought her work with her and Copperquick knew that she was planning another hostile takeover. Several actually. Copperquick had listened to her with his full attention as she laid out some of her plans during their time together, with himself and Miss Oddbody working as her chosen pawns in the field.

At some point, Buttermilk Oddbody recovered her happiness and her confidence. She was flitting about the small park, chasing after bugs and dandelion fluff, all while shouting “WEEEEEEEEE!” a whole lot.

“Agent Bowler, tell me, how would you feel about a trip to Manehattan?” Twilight Velvet asked with a wry smile on her face. “Some of the dole offices there could use a thorough shakedown. There are problems all over.”

“So, wait, you want me to just walk in and apply for help in other places?” Copperquick felt a growing sense of alarm as he looked at Twilight Velvet, and realised that she was serious. His fantastic mood was somewhat spoiled when he thought about all of the potential unpleasantness that was sure to be found in his near future.

“Ponyville has a far more relaxed bureaucracy,” Twilight Velvet said, mostly to herself as she bowed her head back down and continued to write in her ledger. “I still plan to send you there though. My daughter, Twilight, she wishes to speak to you.”

“Oh.” Copperquick realised that Mrs. Velvet was once more lost in her work and was now oblivious to the world around her. Squinting in the sun, he looked over at Miss Oddbody, who was flying over to him. “Hello, Agent Bun.”

“Agent Bowler, how pleasant to see you.” Miss Oddbody landed and settled in the grass beside Copperquick. “I have a proposition for you, Agent Bowler.”

“Is that so, Agent Bun?”

“Oh, very much so, Agent Bowler.” Miss Oddbody began tittering. “Spring break is coming. I plan to go home and see my parents. Try and see if I can smooth things out with them. I would very much like for you to come home with me and meet them.”

“Um, Agent Bun, isn’t that counterproductive? I mean, you want to smooth things out with them, but bringing me home with you, that is bound to cause a kerfuffle. I mean, I can see it now, ‘Mom, Dad, here is this nice pony I’m dating, he had a daughter with an exotic dancer and now he is raising her after her mother flew away to Las Pegasus.’ I am positive that shall go over in a splendid manner.”

“Hrm, well, when you put it that way, Agent Bowler…” Reaching up with her hoof, Miss Oddbody tapped her chin and looked thoughtful. “Moomy, Daddums, here is the nice pony I’ve been cohabiting with—”

“Egads, mare, do you want me to live?” Copperquick asked.

From where she sat on the bench, Twilight Velvet started snickering.

“Agent Fedora thinks this is hilarious.” Miss Oddbody glanced over at Twilight Velvet and then returned her full attention to Copperquick. “Come home with me. Some time in the country will do you good. You can get caught up on your school work over spring break and maybe bring your grades up a bit. I’ll get a chance to watch my Moomy freak out when Esmeralda calls me ‘Mama.’ My parents will absolutely love having some burro culture in their home.”

“Madam, you are no deadpan snarker,” Copperquick deadpanned.

More chortles could be heard from the mare on the park bench.

“Come home with me and I’ll show you my wingspan.” Miss Oddbody gave Copperquick an owlish stare through her oversized square glasses. Turning her head, she looked over at Twilight Velvet. “Help me, Agent Fedora.”

Without looking up from her work, she replied, “Agent Bowler, go home with Agent Bun and give her butter a thorough churning. Just use protection this time. Don’t be stupid. Do you need an adult to sit down with you and explain how this works? I can even draw helpful pictures and diagrams. With the invention of flavoured condoms, it is now much easier for pegasus ponies and earth ponies to don the protection they need. No more excuses, Agent Bowler.”

Now red as a cherry, Miss Oddbody stared down at the grass. “Well, that was not the help I had in mind.”

“I don’t know what I expected her to say. Certainly not that.” His own cheeks blazing and bright red, Copperquick found that he could not even look at Miss Oddbody, not without thinking about churning some sweet, creamy butter. “You know, Agent Bun, I am half tempted to take her up on her offer, just to see what she has to say.”

“Don’t you dare!” Miss Oddbody said as her wings buzzed.

“Buttermilk, I would love to come home with you during spring break… if you’ll have me.”

“I’ll have you any way I can get you.” Miss Oddbody paused, her face turned even redder, and she let out a gasp. “I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.” The flustered pegasus scooted a little closer to the still blushing earth pony and she smiled as she bit her lip.

“Things will work out fine.” Copperquick grinned. “We get to tell your parents that we are Crown appointed agents…”

“Hmm, yes we do, Agent Bowler.”

“I find you very attractive, Agent Bun.”

“That’s quite enough, Agent Bowler.”

Without a doubt, the future was uncertain… but interesting.

Author's Note

If there is a sequel, it shall be better planned and therefore, better written. :derpytongue2:

Chapter 4

After a long almost sleepless night, Copperquick faced the morning. It was going to be a long day and an even longer night. He was already exhausted. The filly had woken up and cried in the night, hungry, or wet, or poopy. He and Miss Oddbody had taken turns, and she was teaching him what he needed to know. An earth pony had to be very, very brave to change a diaper, as they did not have helpful unicorn magic.

At about four AM, he had learned a valuable life lesson, you never try to change a diaper while standing at a filly’s hind end, but rather, off to one side. He had been rewarded for being an attentive father with a faceful of pee and a whole bunch of giggling from Miss Oddbody. Also, he had discovered that earth ponies and pegasus ponies both pick up foals by the scruff of their neck with their teeth. It didn’t hurt the foal, as Copperquick had feared, and if anything, she loved hanging out of his mouth by the scruff of her neck.

As for doing this as a single parent, Copperquick believed it to be impossible. There would be no sleep at all. His respect for mares everywhere had grown in the night. No longer where they just warm and willing bodies to relieve his sexual tensions. They were magnificent creatures and potential superheroes, with actual superpowers.

The kitchen smelled like hot buttery toast and Celestial Glory tea. On the counter, there was a paper plate for him, with several slices of hot buttery toast with melted cheese. Copperquick, who wasn’t the smartest pony, paused and looked at the paper plate with a raised eyebrow. Turning his head, he looked over at Miss Oddbody, who sat on the couch eating, and cooing at his filly.

Starving, he gobbled down the buttery, cheesy toast in seconds, and then licked the paper plate for good measure. He was still hungry, but this would have to do. They had to leave soon, and there was a lot to get done before they left, like packing for a full day out. Ears perking, he sniffed his cup of tea left on the counter for him. It had some sugar and some real, actual cream in it. He sniffed it a few times, he wasn’t much of a tea drinker, but this smelled good, and then he stuck his muzzle into the wide cup.

It was like drinking liquid sunshine. The tea was citrusy, lemony, orangey, and there was something else he didn’t recognize. After just a few slurps, he felt energized, invigourated, he felt peppy and awake, and as he drained the cup, he wondered what was in the stuff. At the moment, he felt as though he could run all day. Lifting his muzzle from the cup, he saw a thermos sitting on the counter. Miss Oddbody was prepared.

“I fixed you breakfast and you ate it, you owe me,” Miss Oddbody said. “Fair exchange.”

“Okay, fine.” Copperquick smiled, he couldn’t help it, there was something about her good mood that was infectious, and he suspected that it had something to do with the tea. He could feel the blood flowing through his body and his ears. No wonder Miss Oddbody was squirrelly.

“We need to cross town and go to the Crown’s financial district, but not the upper reaches, we need to go to the lower reaches. The office that we want is down deep in the basement of the treasury building, but it can’t be reached through the main front doors. We have to go behind the block and down a whole bunch of stairs which are narrow and difficult to navigate when loaded down with foal stuff and bags. So be careful. There are no windows down there and lots of fluorescent lights that will mess with your head, and you’ll lose track of time completely.”

“This place sounds like Tartar—”

“No cussing in front of your filly, Mister!”

Scolded, Copperquick’s ears drooped. For reasons he could not explain, he felt bad. Something about the way that Miss Oddbody was looking at him made him feel guilty and ashamed. He didn’t like it, not one bit. Before, she had been funny about it, but now… now… she was doing something to him, perhaps some weird pegasus magic that he was unaware of.

Ducking his head, he let out a whimpering whinny as a plea for mercy.

The strange magic ended when Miss Oddbody smiled again. Copperquick still felt ashamed and guilty, but he no longer felt as though he needed to go and stand in the corner or take a timeout in the bad pony box, as he had done when he was little. Sighing, he realised that he wanted more tea.

“It’s time to go!”

Early morning Canterlot was a busy place. Milk deliveries, bread deliveries, newspapers flying about, the city’s streets were packed with ponies. That made it somewhat difficult to get to where one was going in a timely manner. Copperquick was a skilled navigator of traffic though, having worked in the delivery business for quite some time. Mindful of being scolded once more, he made his way through the heavy traffic in a very polite manner.

“Hey, remember how I fixed you breakfast?” Miss Oddbody asked as she trotted along behind Copperquick.

“Yep.”

No sooner had he spoken the words than he felt Miss Oddbody leap up onto his back and grip his sides with her legs. Startled, he let out a wicker and realised that the pegasus was almost feather light. She patted his neck, let out a whoop, and then he heard her shout, “WEEEEEEE! I CAN RIDE A PONY!”

From the sling around his neck, he heard a happy sounding giggle-gurgle. Looking down, he saw bright amber eyes looking up at him. His daughter seemed happy, at least for the moment, she had been fed and cleaned, she was close to her daddy, so everything must be right in her world. For some reason, the thought was reassuring to Copperquick, who sidestepped a delivery wagon and then picked up his pace.

The treasury building, at least the upper reaches, the public face, was in a magnificent state of repair. The brass was all polished, the white and pink marble were all spotless and clean, and every window was flawless. As Copperquick walked down the street, an army of pegasi were cleaning the already spotless building with scrub brushes and sudsy pink cleanser.

After seeing the state of the foal services building, seeing the perfect treasury building was infuriating. Copperquick almost lost his smile, but it was the sound of his daughter cooing and gurgling that kept him going. A group of earth ponies were scrubbing the sidewalks in front of the building with a high pressure steam cleaner, removing all traces of chewing gum left on the sidewalk.

“Take a right, my noble steed!” Miss Oddbody cried as she flapped her wings and kicked her legs against Copperquick’s sides.

Even the alley was spotless. Copperquick walked past the row of dumpsters and recycling bins, then saw the sign directing him to where he needed to go. He paused at the stairs going down. This is where the cleaning crew had stopped, it seemed. The stairs were filthy, covered in trash, and there were cigarette butts everywhere. Seeing them made him wonder what Miss Oddbody had to say about smoking.

The pegasus lept from his back and landed on the cement beside him.

“This place is a dump. I swear, it gets worse every time I come here. Come on, be careful, the steps are slippery from all the litter.” With an unhappy sigh, Miss Oddbody stepped aside to let Copperquick go down first, as she didn’t want the much larger and much heavier earth pony crushing her on the stairs. She stuck out a wing to stop him before he went down though, and said, “Hey, why don’t you give me your sweet little sugarlump and I’ll fly her down.”

“Good idea. Here, take her.”

Inside was somehow worse than the outside. Copperquick looked around the most depressing waiting room he had ever seen. The tile floor was yellow, but had once been white. The chairs, plastic, were a dingy shade of beige. No paintings adorned the walls. No windows. There was nothing pleasant or inviting anywhere. The walls were a grungy shade of blah. The only thing to be seen in the whole room was a sign that read, “Take a number.”

Inside of the waiting room, there were many mares and a few fillies. Some had foals with them, some didn’t. There was lots of crying and sounds of misery, from both foals and parents alike. Everything was bathed in the harsh glare of flickering fluorescent lights, leaving all of the colours washed out and dismal looking. This place looked like the sort of place where Princess Luna’s nightmares were created.

Copperquick was reminded of the one course he had taken in industrial psychology, the science of how to grind down the spirit and break the will. He sat down beside Miss Oddbody, who had taken a number and was still holding his filly. His little girl didn’t look too happy, and he worried that she might start crying just because of how miserable this place was.

“Why are you here?” a filly beside Miss Oddbody asked. “You have the father right there.”

Miss Oddbody smiled in a most polite and professional manner. “Oh, I am not the mother. I’m an intern at foal services. He’s the father and he’s here to get some help.”

“That’s the biggest crock of crap I’ve heard all day. If you didn’t want to talk about it, why didn’t you just say so?” Snorting with disgust, the unicorn filly hefted up her rotund earth pony foal and stormed away to sit someplace else, her hooves clopping on the buttery yellow tile floor.

Letting out a polite cough, Miss Oddbody followed it up with, “Sometimes this job is very challenging.”

Copperquick nodded and then asked, “What’s our number?”

“Do you really want to know? It doesn’t actually help to know.”

“Just tell me.”

“Four hundred and eleven. Thank Sweet Celestia that we got here early.”

Spirit and body flagging, Copperquick shuffled over to the window where he had been directed. How long had he been in this dungeon? He didn’t know. His ears rang from the sounds of crying. His own little squirt was fussy, but she was mostly quiet. He was tired, he was frustrated, he was angry, and he was feeling depressed.

“Need some help, Miss?” the old mare sitting behind the window asked.

“Yes I do!” Miss Oddbody replied in an cheerful voice. “Mister Copperquick here needs to apply for assistance. I am an intern at foal services and I—”

“No,” the old mare said in nasal whine.

“But he is a single parent and he needs financial assistance.” Miss Oddbody somehow remained smiling, but the corner of her eye was twitching. “Look, there is a foal here that is about to fall through the cracks—”

“Then perhaps you need to do your job, Miss, and take that foal before it does.”

Every feather on Miss Oddbody quivered and Copperquick felt an imminent sense of danger that made him want to piss himself for some reason. His earth pony instincts were telling him to run, run like the wind, and do not under any circumstances look back. When faced with potential destruction, an earth pony’s best option was to run.

“I am trying to keep a father and daughter together.” Miss Oddbody ground her teeth together for a moment and then added, “I am trying to preserve a family.”

“First we have deadbeat dads trying to skip out of foal support, and now we have deadbeat dads that think that having a foal entitles them to skip out on work. Males are just plain lazy and worthless. How pathetic.” The old mare’s lip curled back in disgust and she shook her head while letting out a whinny of disapproval.

“That’s not the case at all!” Miss Oddbody snapped. “Now listen here, you insufferable old bat, I’ve already memorised your badge number. What you said is uncalled for and sexism by a Crown employee is punishable by docking one’s wages!”

Sneering in contempt, the old mare shook her head. “Even if I wanted to help you, even if I risked my own job by looking past the fact that this is a service for mares, I can’t help you.”

“Well why not?” Miss Oddbody demanded.

“You haven’t shown me a birth certificate, a record of vaccination, and tribal registry.” And with that, the old mare slammed the window shut and locked it.

“Come on,” Miss Oddbody said, her voice quavering in a most dangerous way, “we need to go.”

Author's Note

Okay, I was wrong in the last chapter. This chapter was longer than I anticipated. So, exotic dancers in the next chapter.