When Pigs Fly

by Belligerent Bindlestiff

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Rainbow Dash, Other, Thriller, Adventure, Crossover
Length: 7596

A penchant for adventure without caution can sometimes have undesired consequences. Not everyone gets off scot free.

Rainbow Dash is quite eager to go on an adventure with Ponyville's newest citizen, a dragoon sent by the Princess of the Night. Everywhere he goes, there's always some sort of action-packed episode.

She's decided to never miss an opportunity to get in on his missions. This one, however, may not have been what she was expecting.

A psychologicaly, terrifying perspective given by Rainbow Dash during the "Cultist" arc during "Atonement for a Wayward Dragoon", a Final Fantasy IV crossover.

Reading the original story is not necessary.

Published 2016-10-30 21:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-10-30 21:30:01 UTC

Swine Flu

Life hadn’t nearly been as interesting in Ponyville since its newest arrival had taken residence. Kain, dragoon and emissary to Princess Luna had been commissioned to stay in Ponyville and investigate some strange disturbances. Sure, there were the adventures that Rainbow Dash and her friends had gone on before and maybe there were a few times when she had the chance to “kick some flank”.

But now, it was as if the excitement wouldn’t let up! Cockatrices, timberwolves, and even were-bear-ponies! It seemed like that pony just to run into action every other day.

And we just fought against a hydra and WON! How many ponies can say that?

The aspiring Wonderbolt hadn’t felt this much excitement since she’d found out she’d been at the Wonderbolt Academy.

Maybe this experience will help me land a spot on the actual Wonderbolts team!

After taking care of weather team duty in the first fifteen minutes of the day, the pegasus then devoted her time to relaxing on a cloud and spying on Ponyville’s residents. Things were boring at first, but then one pony caught the mare’s attention. She saw a cloaked pony leaving the town inn.

I wonder what you’re up to?

As it turned out, following somepony without a real lead was really boring. All Rainbow Dash spied was Kain visiting Rarity’s for the better part of the morning.

Finally, something changed and the pegasus spied the dragoon leaving to visit the library. Hopefully then Kain would be on his way to a mission.

Yes, now he’s gonna head out and all I need to do is follow him wherever he goes. I bet he’s going to the Everfree, just a few more paces and he’ll be on his…Crud.

Much to the mare’s dismay, Kain had made his next stop the Sugar Cube Corner.

Once he left however, things only seemed less interesting, all he did was go about Ponyville, patrolling, with Pinkie Pie of all ponies.

Is she just following him or something?

Eventually, Kain finally did something else, which was visit Ponyville’s Hospital. Fluttershy had been put there after an attack by the were-bear attack. She’d survived and was doing better now thanks to the efforts of Applejack and Kain. It was all well and good that she was getting a visit from her friends, Rainbow Dash herself stopped by last night, but this wasn’t helping Rainbow in any way to go on an adventure with the dragon knight pony.

Once he left the hospital, Rainbow Dash noticed something odd. Spike had come running from the library seeking Kain. He had a scroll in his claw and appeared to be in a real hurry to deliver it.

Rainbow hadn’t realized that the dragon had actually been running everywhere in Ponyville the whole time she was spying on Kain’s activities, only to be seeking out the very same target.

She saw the dragoon take the message and then promptly return to the inn. What struck the pegasus’ interest was the rush Kain was in to get back to his residence.

Oh something is definitely up.

The mare flew to a vantage point to view through a window and spied Kain preparing. He was gathering items into his satchel.

He’s finally going on a mission! This is my chance!

Rainbow Dash immediately shot back home and began to amass her own gear for an adventure.

Gotta make it back before he leaves!

When she did return to her spot to spy on Kain, she caught him just in time to see him lay down in bed and go to sleep.

Ugh, now I have to wait until morning!

Luckily, the mare was no stranger to sleeping on a cloud, so she merely folded the cloud she was perched on into a bed and slept where she was.

When the next day came, she rose early enough to see Kain leave the inn and head for the outskirts of Ponyville, near the Everfree Forest. Kain was on his own, he hadn’t even bothered to tell Twilight where he was going.

Aw come on! You’re going to have all the fun on your own?

“Where do you think you’re going?” a Rainbow Dash said from above, much to the dragoon’s dismay.

“Just going for a walk.” Kain lied.

“Yah, sure you are,” Rainbow Dash replied. “You’re all suited up for battle. By the looks of it, you’re on a mission! Remember what I said the last time? If you were heading out somewhere, I’d cover your back.”

“Are you even the slightest bit prepared?” Kain asked.

The pegasus turned to show the saddlebags she was wearing. “All packed and ready to go! I saw you get that letter from Spike yesterday and rush back into the inn. And now here you are, armored up and at the edge of the Everfree, it gave me plenty of time to get my stuff together.”

“What did you bring?” The dragoon asked skeptically.

“Snacks, rope, bedroll, and a book.” The pegasus answered.

I didn’t have much time to prepare.

“This isn’t some sort of vacation you know.” Kain said dryly.

“Hey, I said I brought rope!” Rainbow Dash responded.

“Rainbow Dash,” Kain began. “This mission has the potential to turn perilous. Are you willing to accompany me and accept the risks?”

“Of course!” the mare answered.

Oh, he’s just trying to scare me now.

“Rainbow Dash, I’m letting you know that this mission is different from what we experienced with the hydra, we were able to defeat it, but sometimes we aren’t always so lucky.” Kain said.

What do you mean barely? We totally had that monster; you and I were taking care of its heads with aerial attacks. The hydra didn’t even know what hit it!

“Hey, I’m ready for anything!” the pegasus exclaimed.

“Then you should always be prepared for the worst.” Kain said.

The two made their way to the Everfree. Rainbow Dash continued the conversation feeling only slightly unsettled by Kain’s last statement.

“What did you mean by ‘the worst’?” she asked.

“I meant exactly what it sounded like. One must take into account the matter of not returning. They must also consider the possibility that not everyone may return.” Kain explained.

“Huh, I never really thought about that all those times I went off on adventures with the others. And all those Daring Do books all seemed to end well.”

“Not everypony’s story ends well Rainbow.” Kain lamented.

“Alright, I understand what you mean now.” The pegasus said.

And it’s not like it’s going to happen to us. Come on, we’re awesome!

“Good, then take these.” The dragoon said as he gave her a small pouch that sounded like it contained marbles.

“What are these?” Rainbow Dash asked.

They’re smoke bombs.” Kain clarified. “Should things not turn in our favor, throw one against the ground and make an escape. In addition, they also let either of us know that the other is still up and trying to escape.”

“Oh.” Rainbow Dash said. “But we probably won’t need these?”

“Probably.” Kain reiterated as a response.

“You’ve got gold needles and smoke bombs. What else do you have in your bag of tricks?” the pegasus asked.

“A good deal more.” The dragoon replied.

“Where did you get all that stuff anyways?” Rainbow continued.

“I’ve procured it throughout my journeys, some are mementos from my old comrades.” Kain replied with a smirk.

“Well, I don’t think you’ll have to worry about me. I’d like to see somepony that could catch me.” Rainbow Dash bragged.

“Also, this mission is about gathering intelligence, so we’re going to be avoiding direct confrontation for the most part.” Kain said.

“Aww.” Rainbow Dash let out. “And here I was thinking that we were going to kick some tail!”

“We’re here to find out if what Princess Luna believes to be true. She’s concerned that a group calling themselves the Unicultists have situated themselves in the forest. So from here on out, we’re going to make our presence as little known as possible.” Kain explained.

“Got it.” Rainbow said with a tinge of disappointment.

Spoil sport. I didn’t sign on for spying on someponies. I already did that yesterday!

The two made their way past the entrance of the forest, and the dragoon brought out the gem on his necklace to see if it began to respond. There was a faint pulse of light from the gem. He decided to venture a bit further to see if it hadn’t just detected other unicorns’ magic near Ponyville.

Finally, we’re going to see who’s been causing all that trouble in Ponyville, and I’ll be able to kick some flank.

It was just another hour of trekking into the forest when Kain noted that the dowsing gem began to emit a brighter light. He decided that he and Rainbow Dash should proceed a bit further. Not moments later did they eye an equinoid figure, draped in robes, looking away from their direction. It hadn’t noticed them.

Oh, he’s going down! Won’t even see it coming!

Rainbow Dash put on a smirk and was about ready to spring into action until Kain put a hoof on her shoulder. He shook his head and motioned in a direction away from the presumed cultist.

Really? It's just one pony. We could have taken him.

When they were a good deal away, Kain whispered. “That was probably just a look out. I don’t want to spook them and have them become suspicious, and leaving the area. Let’s see if we can’t find the main encampment.”

“Okay.” Rainbow Dash huffed, agitated from having done nothing all throughout this adventure.

The gem continued to aid the pair in their search, growing ever brighter.

They happened upon some sounds emanating not far off. The both of them carefully moved closer to the source to find a clearing and a bonfire built into the center. There were many hooded figures in the area, gathered in an arc around the only unhooded pony amongst them. He was a black stallion with a white mane and had a staff in his grey aura colored magical grip.

Well that’s not creepy. Just ponies getting together for a creepy party. I’m sure Pinkie’s thrown one of these.

“Brothers and sisters!” the leader shouted. “Thank you for being here, your presence and devotion prove resilience and self-sufficiency. We are not long from our break from the weaker tribes. While they insist that we must work together, I scoff at the very notion. Who was been able to live off the land without the work of earth pony hooves?”

“We have!” spoke the crowd.

“And who has been able to live without manipulating the weather?” the leader asked.

“We have, Magus Prime!” answered the crowd.

“Indeed.” The cultist said. “We have our magic and our wits. We do not need the weak and incompetent to survive. When all of our brethren join us, we know who will survive the winter and who will destroy the wendigoes. We! The true tribe of Equestria! But understand that we need not only make our numbers grow, but theirs wane. Bring forth the candidate for balance!”

What do they mean by that?

Not moments later did four unicorns wheel in a cage with a pegasus mare with orange coat and blue mane. She was unconscious by the looks of things, but the subordinates soon roused her to wakefulness. The caged pegasus looked up in horror at the Unicultist leader as he glared at her. His expression changed to that of a smile.

Rainbow Dash was in absolute anger at the sight.

What the hay? We gotta do something!

“Sisters and brothers, I give you one of those that aren’t fit for our new world, and fear not young lady; we shall return you to the earth so you can best serve us in the new future!” The bliss in his tone and deranged look he gave the mare were the tipping point. The captive’s eyes grew as wide as dinner plates. She flapped her wings and flew about in what little space she could in the cage.

That pegasus they’ve got caged up? Are they going to…? No, they can’t be planning on…

From the shadows, Rainbow Dash was in shock of what she was seeing. She gave one look at Kain, and before he could say anything, she shot out into the opening. She’d now made her move and things were about to get complicated.

“Fear not my little pony.” Spoke Magus Prime in a listless tone. “This won’t hurt, I promise.” He raised his staff up and began to magically charge a spell into it.

Rainbow Dash came speeding towards the cage. “Yeah right you creep!” she yelled. The multicolored pegasus crashed into the cage, taking with her the prisoner.

The cult leader loosed his spell into the empty space before him and having only pink magic dissipate there. He glared at the interloper. “Get them!” he yelled. The cultists removed their hoods and began firing magic at the pegasi.

“Get out of here!” Rainbow Dash yelled at the other mare. “I won’t let any of them get you!” She popped her neck and sped back to the unicorns. “Alright, its time for some action!”

I’m going to enjoy this!

She elegantly dodged and weaved past the magical blasts of the cultists, until she met with one of them, and he met an uppercut from her right front hoof. The cultist went sailing past the bonfire. A couple of others charged their horns, ready to deliver a mighty blast of energy.

Oh, it's on!

That’s when an armored earth pony crashed through them along the ground, kicking up dirt and debris. “Argh!” the leader roared. “Do not allow yourselves to be bested by these inferior specimen!” he shot a blast of magic at Kain from his horn. The dragoon barely had enough time to react. The shield on his right front hoof deflected the energy away from him and deep into the forest.

Good thing you showed up Kain, I didn’t think you’d let me fight them all by myself.

The dragoon leapt at the leader, challenging him to single combat. Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash dealt with roughly a dozen of the cultists, though they weren’t proving to be much of a problem for her. The magic they were firing was slow and easily avoided.

Are you kidding me? Twilight’s spells are way faster than this!

She spun around a pathetically slow magic bolt.

See? Easy as pie! Oh look! Two magic bolts, whatever will I do?

The pegasus then weaved between two spells. Rainbow Dash yawned.

Alright, now this is getting boring. Time to take you out!

One by one, she knocked out a cultist with a deftly delivered buck or uppercut.

Way too easy.

During the skirmish, she’d noticed that there was a large, canvas tent where no doubt they were sheltered. She sped by it and unfastened the tent from the bindings to the ground. She then hung it from the trees like a sack.

This’ll be fun.

After having dealt with about half of the peons, she began tying them up, lifting them into the air and dropping them into her ‘trap’. Of those Unicultists that remained, looked on in horror or anger at the pegasus’s brazen stunt.

You’re next buddy!

Kain was busy fighting their leader, who was deceptively more agile than he looked, and more skilled in close combat than he let on. Every now and then, he would back off and attempt to us his staff’s magic on the dragoon, to which Kain would block it with his shield. Kain didn’t want to try an aerial maneuver since he might lose sight of the leader while airborne. He pressed the one on one battle.

Well, that’s the last of you guys. Sorry to leave you all hanging, but I’ve got to deal with your boss now. It’s just like the Daring Do books. Take out the cronies, then the head honcho!

She flew over to the other battle that had been going on.

“Ha!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed. "So much for your cronies! Looks like you have no choice but to give up.” She said in taunting Magus.

“Wrong!” the leader said a she turned his staff to the pegasus with charged energy. “You’ll have the decision to make!” the implement shot another sickly pink blast of energy at the mare.

Buck.

Rainbow Dash yelped and was launched out of the clearing. Aside from the impact of the spell, she didn’t feel any pain from the magic, however she experienced a haziness and numbness.

When she hit the ground, Rainbow Dash tried to get up but felt awkward.

Ugh, it’s like I had too many ciders again.

Her vision was still reeling from being blinded by the spell’s light.

Well, I’m still up. So much for “expecting the worst” like Kain said. Better let him know I’m ok.

She reached into her saddlebags amid the haze and pulled out a smoke bomb to signal the armored pony with her. Its eruption only added to her disorientation. She could only hear Kain give chase after the cultist leader before blacking out.

The speedster then woke up with a start, clambering to her hooves.

Well, I’m not hurt, might as well try and help Kain.

For some reason or another, everything felt off to the mare, like an imbalance that made her feel lower to the ground. It was an odd feeling, Rainbow Dash tried to take a few steps, but felt her stride was off, and then she looked down.

What the heck? What’s with my hooves?

She looked down. Instead of cylindrical shaped hooves, there were two spit hooves completing the end of her forelegs.

Ugh, I still can’t see clearly.

Rainbow Dash noted a small pool of water nearby and cautiously approached it to clean her eyes. When she crossed the horizon of the reflective surface, all mental faculties stopped.

Wha…..

A nose, with nostrils pointed directly forward was the first thing Rainbow Dash noticed. Small magenta eyes stared back at her from a creature with a small tuft of rainbow hair atop her head.

She tried to scream, but only a blood curdling squeal came from Rainbow Dash’s mouth.

No, no, no! This isn’t happening!

A cyan pig took to the air amidst her panic and stared back at the reflection once more.

Oh no, I’m a pig!

It was then that she noted she was airborne. Rainbow Dash looked at her back to note the wings that held her aloft.

At least I still have my wings. Even if they are scrawny.

Her sight shifted beyond her wings towards her tail.

No, even my awesome tail is gone! That Magus guy is gonna pay for this!

She took flight and scanned for the direction Kain had taken off to fight the Unicultist. There was upended earth that was exposed from Kain’s jump attack and there was a substantial broken area amongst the trees.

That’s gotta be where they went!

Rainbow Dash immediately sped off. Her speed seemingly unchanged from when she was a pegasus.

Thank Celestia I’m not slow!

Rainbow then heard the sound of magical blasts in the distance as well as the armored pony that had brought her on this adventure.

Kain wasn’t having an easy time fighting the unicorn by the looks of it. Magus was simply casting spells to keep his distance from the knight.

Then Rainbow Dash saw him flare up the pink spell that had hit her earlier.

Oh no.

But the spell was harmlessly dispersed by the dragoon’s shield.

I could have used that a while back.

Once again, the cultist took flight from the battle.

Wait, his staff. If I can take it, I can turn back into a pegasus again!

Rainbow Dash decided to fly alongside the escaping unicorn and ambush him.

He’s slow, just gotta knock the wind out of him!

Rainbow Dash then burst from cover and collided with the cult leader.

Kain closed in on the leader, unsure of what happened until he saw an incredible speeding object collide with Magus, sending him careening along the forest floor. It wasn’t until he noticed the cyan color of the object that he realized that Rainbow Dash must have caught up and aided in the fight. The dragoon took the opportunity to pounce. He swung with his spear at the cultist. Somehow, despite being the target of two pursuers, Magus still blocked the attack and now both he and Kain had their weapons locked in a contest of strength.

The dragoon used a show of force to parry the staff, sending it spinning at an incredible speed up into the canopy of the Everfree and far away in an incredible distance.

No!

“Impudent worm!” Magus yelled. Only to be hit by the butt of Kain’s spear and knocked out cold. Kain spun his spear and set it back on his person. He then brought out a pair unichains and locked one of them onto Prime’s horn. Kain plenty knew that this unicorn was dangerous and didn’t want to risk another altercation with this pony should he have access to his magic.

“Good work Rainbow Dash.” Kain said. “I couldn’t have done this without you.”

Yeah, but now what am I going to do now?

When he didn’t get a response, he called out again. There was only silence. “Are you alright?” he asked. There then came a sound from some bushes being shuffled. “Rainbow Dash?” he called out in its direction. “Are you injured? Come out so that I can administer aid if you need it.

I’m a pig. You can’t just “administer aid” for this kind of thing! What are you going to do, wrap me up in bandages and suddenly I’m a pegasus again! Fat chance!

Rainbow Dash then looked back at the woods. Her options weren’t exactly very open.

…fine…

Hoof beats sounded form the bush and what the dragoon saw he almost couldn’t believe. A small, cyan pig slowly, and by the looks of how it carried itself, ashamedly, came out of the shrubbery.

“I suppose we now know who caused those problems for Ponyville earlier.” Kain said. “Excellent work making the connection.” He continued with a smirk.

Oh, real funny. Easy for you to make jokes when you’re not the one looking like this! I bet you’ve never been turned into anything unnatural!

Rainbow looked up at him with beady little magenta eyes and snorted angrily. Kain noted that her transformation impeded her ability to speak.

“Well, we’re still ways away from Ponyville. We’d best get moving.” Kain said. He then tied up the unconscious Prime for good measure and began dragging him though the forest. Rainbow Dash followed suit and the two of them made their way before the hour drew late. It was a rather odd sight to see a pig hovering next to an armored earth pony dragging an unconscious unicorn.

Rainbow Dash noted how strange everything just suddenly smelled much stronger.

What the hay? Why does the forest reek all of a sudden? Are there timberwolves around or something? No, something smells good. Mushrooms? Why do they suddenly smell good all of a sudden, I’ve never liked them.

Every now and then, Kain would stop to examine the magical map.

Yeah, just don’t pay any attention to the pigasus that’s walking with you.

He decided to break the silence, “I’m, certain Princess Twilight will be able to cure you. She was able to help that other pony who was turned into a bear.”

How did he do that? Well, at least you’ve haven’t forgotten about me.

Rainbow Dash looked at him expectantly with those words of encouragement.

Another voice then coughed out. “Don’t be so certain. I’ve been perfecting that spell. I’ve made that enchantment much stronger than the last time.” Magus said.

Wait, what? What do you mean stronger? Is Twilight not going to be able to fix this?!

The flying pig wore a very worried expression and stared at the cultist being dragged. “Don’t worry miss; I’m sure with time you’ll come to“ was all of the taunt Magus could get out before Kain clubbed him over the head with his spear’s handle.

“That’s enough from you.” The dragoon said. Knocking out the leader once more. He continued dragging the captive and Rainbow Dash followed once more, but now she drifted to the ground and trotted along, visibly shaken by the last remark by the cultist leader.

Am I going to be like this forever?

“We need to return to the camp to secure the other cultists.” Kain said. “I know your current…state isn’t the most accomodating, but we still need to complete this mission.”

Rainbow Dash looked up and nodded in agreement.

When they arrived at the cultist meeting place, Kain and Rainbow notice that the captives she’d hung up in the sack began to stir.

“We’ll need to secure them individually with unichains, otherwise they may be a problem with their magic.” Kain said.

But they’ll see me as a pig now. I can’t let them see me like this, not after I kicked their flank! And what about the ponies back home? But I can’t stay here. Oh well…

Rainbow Dash flew to one of the ropes holding the trap and undid the knot, which caused the cultists to spill unceremoniously onto the floor. “As far as you’re all concerned, you’re under arrest by order of Princess Luna.” Kain said as he righted one of them and put a unichain on her horn. “We don’t need any trouble, so don’t make any unless you want to end up like your leader.” The dragoon looked to the direction of Magus’ unconscious form. The other Unicultists looked at it as well, but also at Rainbow Dash.

Don’t look at me!

“By the looks of it, he’s not the worst off.” One cultist remarked.

Yeah, coming from the pony that got his flank kicked!

“That’s only temporary.” Kain responded. Rainbow Dash stared at the stallion that made the remark. “We’ll get that reversed.”

“Fat chance of that happening.” Another unicorn spoke. The boss perfected his spell by attuning it to the staff. It’s pretty much permanent, not like that other one with the bear.”

Rainbow Dash gasped, or rather squealed at the revelation.

No! It can’t be permanent! I don’t want to live as a pig! I’m an awesome pegasus!

“Don’t worry, that’s a good look for you.” Another cultist said.

Will anypony even want to be around me anymore now that I look like this? What am I going to do?

Kain wasn’t one who had much experience with arresting individuals and his patience with the cultists reached its breaking point. He placed a makeshift muzzle on each of the cultists that had spoken. “Are we going to have any more problems?” the dragoon asked, staring at the unicorn who’d spoken last. He looked at him in such a way that even the knight’s helmet couldn’t contain his contempt for the situation. The peon shook his head. “Good.” Kain replied.

After placing unichains on all the captives, in addition to keeping them tied with ropes, Rainbow Dash and Kain finally had a moment for respite. Even as a pig, Kain could see Rainbow‘s expressed preoccupation with the situation. “You’re not going to be stuck like that.” Kain said, just barely realizing the irony of the situation with his own. “There’s always some sort of solution, be it a spell or…”

Yeah, don’t patronize me. Stop trying to help when you know you can’t use magic. Wait, what are you doing?

The dragoon rushed to his saddlebags and rummaged for a few moments and returned with a small object covered in paper and tied with string at the top. The former pegasus stared at the object.

I don’t think food is going to help right now.

“I’m not certain if it’s still fresh, but it may work. They’re called diet rations.” Kain said. “I acquired a few of these a few years back. They’re somewhat a combination of food, medicine, and potion. It was created to help cure those with your condition.”

And you’re only now telling me about this?!

Rainbow Dash immediately made a move for the magical foodstuff at that disclosure. She snatched the diet ration, tore it from the packaging, and scarfed down the stale tack. Then the two of them waited for any change, but nothing happened.

What gives? You said this was supposed to help!

Kain pulled out two more of the curative packages and held them in his hooves. “I suppose they may have lost their potency after all this time, one may not-“

Give that to me!

He was interrupted as Rainbow Dash grabbed the items and tore into them wildly as well. After eating the food potions, she examined herself, expecting a change. When none came, she slid to the ground in defeat.

No, its permanent.

The smells of the forest were even stronger than before, and even after having dinner and those foodstuffs Kain had, the smell of the mushrooms were even more enticing.

Wait, pigs loves mushrooms? What if I’m becoming more pig-like than I first thought!? Forget being a Wonderbolt now, what if I end up becoming just a regular pig?

Rainbow looked at her skin, it was still the same cyan color her coat used to be.

Am I going to turn pink?

The flames illuminated only so much.

Are my wings going to fall out?

Despite it being a cool night with only slight warmth from the campfire, Rainbow was feeling like she was being suffocated.

How far will it go? Will I just end up living on Applejack’s farm?

“Princess Twilight, is the expert on magic. No doubt she’ll find the answer to this. For now, let’s just try to make it thought the night.” Kain said. “We’ll need to take shifts to watch the prisoners. I’ll take first watch.”

Rainbow Dash laid down and exhaled sharply, more from disappointment than exhaustion. Kain looked at her briefly, and then at the cultists. It was going to be a long night, and a dreamscape unfolded.

The image of a pig, a normal pig, at Sweet Apple Acres wallowing in the mud was seen enjoying herself. In the distance, Applejack leaned against the fence with a sorrowful look. The farmer then rejoined her friends that had come by to visit.

“Ya did the best ya could Twilight.” Applejack said.

The purple alicorn looked back at the pig pen. “It’s just that if I only had the staff, I’d break the spell. Well, at least she’s here and safe with us.”

The whole group was torn up by the spectacle.

“How is she, Fluttershy?” Rarity asked.

“Well, Rainbow Dash doesn’t seem to be too much like her old self anymore, but from what I can sense, she seems like she’s happy, and that’s something we can hope for.” the yellow pegasus said.

In her dream’s eye, the sight shifted from the mares to herself as a mundane, ordinary pig. Simply content with a simple life. An animal, nothing more. Not a wonderbolt, not an element of harmony. There was no future for this creature beyond existing. History would forget about the mare and only leave a small note saying that she was turned into a pig and some other pony became the bearer of the element of loyalty.

No one would care about the legacy of Rainbow Dash, cut down in her prime only to become a pathetic creature.

NO! I’m not going to be stuck like this! I can’t be! Don’t let it happen! I’ll fight any monster, I’ll do anything! I just want to be normal again!

When the mare in question changed watch with Kain, he noted the awkward combination of regret and resoluteness she wore just before he fell asleep.

The next day, Kain and Rainbow Dash began to move the captives through the forest. Though this time, they couldn’t use the same path that the two originally used to infiltrate the cultists’ gathering. Since the Unicultists were tied up single file, they could not be maneuvered easily around trees, so the Dragoon and pigasus had to search for and move through clearings.

It was slow going as the group trudged through a small bog like portion of the forest. Granted, it was nothing compared in scale to the area that was the hydra’s home, but it still proved to be difficult terrain.

That mud seems really nice, maybe a little dip wouldn’t be so bad. Wait! I’m no pig! Stop that Rainbow Dash!

When about two thirds of the bound prisoners were crossing past the ‘shore’ of the particularly wet bog, one of the unicorns slipped face first into the mud.

Ugh, can’t you all just keep your balance? Maybe its all the stupid robes you’re wearing! Wait, is something in the mud? I could have sworn the mud just blinked at me!

That fall caused the closer linked unicorns to lose their balance and fall in as well. Amidst all the confusion, the captives hadn’t noticed ripples in the water making their way loser to the sight of the original spill. A reptilian creature now opened up its jaws and was about ready to move forward and clamp down on the unsuspecting unicorn when a cyan swine slammed down on its head.

Oh no you don’t!

Rainbow Dash had managed to keep the cultist from becoming the next snack of a cragadile. She continued jumping up and down on top of its head in order to distract it from the other unicorns. Just as when it looked as she had the situation under control, another cragadile jumped at Rainbow Dash and knocker her into the water.

Ow. That was stupid.

Having just seen this, Kain called out to the captives, “Get to safety in the next clearing!” The dragoon then ran towards the fray. He readied his weapon and leapt upon Rainbow Dash’s assailant.

The former pegasus gathered her bearings and prepared to attack the two Everfree predators that were now focused on Kain.

I’m going to feel that later. But you’re going to feel this!

Rainbow Dash sped up to one of the cragadiles and slammed into it, knocking the beast from its balance. A third reptile surfaced behind Rainbow Dash, but she was ready.

You gotta be faster than that to get me!

The cyan swine delivered a buck with her rear hooves, but what should have been a decisive blow instead reverberated the force back to Rainbow.

Ow, ow, ow. Bad move!

With bucking out of the list of options, she had only areal stomps and slams to work with, which weren’t particularly useful against stone skinned creatures. Each contact with the creature held the possibility of Rainbow Dash being afflicted with an abrasion.

I’m going to come out of this worse than these creeps if this keeps up. Why don’t I have a weapon? Oh, right. I didn’t bring one.

The Dragoon, meanwhile, was able to fend off these creatures with his spear. While it wasn’t piercing their hide to the degree he wanted it to, it still was a viable deterrent to them biting him.

Seeing there was too much trouble in trying to eat a metal covered pony, the cragadiles focused on the delectable looking pig instead.

Uh, why are they looking at me like that? They’re going to eat me! No, I am not going to go down as the fastest pegasus that got eaten by cragodiles, and not as some weak animal!

Rainbow Dash was able to stomp two of the stone reptiles, but lost track of the third. It was just seconds before its razor maw came into view.

Well, this is it isn’t it? All that training, all that talk about being an awesome wonderbolt, all for nothing. Just to become a snack for another monster in the Everfree. I didn’t think it end like this. Maybe Kain will leave out the part about me being a useless pig.

Time slowed down as the mouth was milliseconds away.

Please don’t hurt, please don’t hurt too much.

She winced, but nothing came.

Kain placed the spear in the gap of the mouth of the cragadile. The creature flailed in attempts to rid itself of the obstruction, but only managed to pierce its own mouth with the dragoon’s weapon. The cragadile retreated, deciding it wasn’t worth the pain anymore, and with it the other receded into the water as well.

Rainbow Dash sat in the muddy water, relieved that she’d avoided a terrible fate.

Oh that was too close.

Kain retrieved his weapon, and both he and Rainbow Dash returned to the group of captured cultists. It was surprising that rather than potentially try to run while the two were distracted, instead the unicorns weren’t far from the scene of the engagement. They wore almost the same surprised look Rainbow Dash and Kain gave them.

“Why did you save us?” one of them spoke. “You could have just as well let those cragadiles eaten us and have been on your way.

“It was the right thing to do.” Kain said. “I don’t believe you deserved for that to have happened.”

Even after they did this to me! Are you serious! Well, I guess that is a bit drastic.

“Even after all we did?” the mare from earlier asked. “And after what happened to your friend?” she motioned to Rainbow.

Don’t make me feel too bad for you now.

“Even though my orders weren’t specifically to kill you,” Kain began. “that shouldn’t mean I should let any harm befall you, despite what you did to me.”

Ugh, alright Mr. Stuffyhooves. No need to get all noble.

As the dragoon and pigasus continued to escort the unicultists out of the woods, another of them spoke out, “I guess we had it all wrong.” He said. “We thought we were at the top of it all, knew it all, and here we are best by, captured and saved by one earth pony and a single pegasus. I can’t believe I listened to Magus’ words. Why did I follow you anyways?” he yelled out at the cult leader.

Magus Prime started to explain why he did the things he did, but Rainbow Dash wasn’t in the mood to listen to a pony that had probably cursed her for all eternity.

Oh now you’re going to turn a new leaf? What about me? What am I going to do now? Yeah, other ponies ruined your life, but you just ruined mine! I’m not even a bear like the last pony you got a hold of. I’m a pig! What am I supposed to do now! What am I going to do when all these piggy thoughts start taking over my brain!?

Kain and Rainbow Dash trotted out of the Everfree Forest after what must have been hours.

It’s getting worse. I can feel that urge to just give up and go foraging for mushrooms. I should have brought some paper and a pencil to at least leave one more message. I don’t even know if I’ll make it home in time before this spell completely makes me lose my mind.

They led the chained captives to an open field just outside the forest. “It looks as if we’re going to have to send for a contingency of guards to escort the prisoners to the capital.” Kain said. “Rainbow, I need you to help me take these prisoners to Ponyville so that I can send word to Canterlot.”

Some mushrooms would be nice, and some mud. A nice dip would cool me down. Then I could take a nap. Huh? Who’s this pony? Why am I out here in the woods with some strange group of ponies? Maybe they can take me to a farm and get me some dinner. I’m so hungry now, all I did was walk all day and run from monsters.

Why am I out here anyways?

Wait, something about flying around?

Like a flying pony?

Am I a flying pony?

My name was…

My name is…

Rainbow Dash!

Just then, Rainbow Dash started to emit a cyan colored glow. Her legs began to stretch and her body began to thin out back to her old pony frame. The pig snout converted back into the muzzle she was familiar with, her eyes returned to the large expressive ones she had before, and lastly her main and tail grew out their rainbow hair.

I’m not some pig. I’m the fastest flyer in Equestria! Oh, that was too close! I almost lost my mind!

Rainbow Dash examined herself and did an aerial somersault out of joy. “Yes!” she exclaimed. “I don’t have to go back to Ponyvillle looking like that!”

“It seems as if the remedies had a delayed effect from their lack of potency. It’s good to see that you’re in such high spirits now.” Kain said.

Oh, you don’t know the half of it buddy.

“I suppose now you wouldn’t mind if I sent you to relay the message to Spike to send for assistance?” the dragoon continued.

“It’s just that whenever there’s been a problem in Ponyville, I’ve been there to help. Yeah, I’ve made some mistakes trying to show off from time to time and I paid for it. But coming back home as a …pig…would have been a new low point.” Rainbow Dash said.

Especially if I had come home as just some regular one without any memory of who I was.

“I understand.” Kain said. “Believe it or not, I’ve actually traveled with a bigger braggart than you. The worst part was that he had the skill to back that monstrous ego.”

“And your point?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“My point is that you handled yourself far better than he would ever have, and that’s no simple feat for those such as you. Now, if you wouldn’t mind.” Kain said.

“Oh, right.” The pegasus said as she took off towards Ponyville.

“And don’t worry my brave friend,” Kain said as she was leaving. “I won’t squeal about this to anypony!”

Ugh, don’t even start with me.

The dragoon could hear a growl of frustration Rainbow Dash let out before she disappeared from view.

////

The following day, Pinkie Pie had thrown a party for the two ponies that had helped deal with the cultist problem.

It was all Rainbow Dash ever wanted, ponies celebrating her adventures. But for it all to almost have come so close to the end like that. Would she ever talk about it? Should she ever talk about it?

“C’mon Rainbow Dash! Aren’t you going to tell everypony about your adventures and your feats of daring and do?” asked a random stallion.

Rainbow Dash just stared down her mug of cider. “Look, we went in and fought off the cultists and came back.”

“That’s it?” a random mare from the group asked.

And I got turned into a pig and almost lost my mind.

“Yeah, what about the details? You always talk about all your best moves when you come back adventures.” The first stallion said.

I almost got eaten by a cragadile because I couldn’t even fight back the way I was.

It was a bit depressing to see such a change in demeanor from Rainbow. Although Kain didn’t enjoy gloating, seeing her in this state seemed much worse than when she was a braggart. “Oh, it certainly was quite the battle. “Kain began
Oh great, now he’s going to bring up the whole “incident”.

“Rainbow Dash was able to confound and capture a dozen cultists on her own.” The dragoon continued.

The cyan pegasus looked at Kain inquisitively. Kain continued, “She pulled each and every one of them into a net she fashioned herself. And then…” Rainbow Dash looked Kain with apprehension. “I took off after their leader. After a short engagement, the both of us brought them back to Ponyville so that Luna’s guards could take them into custody. But not before we were cornered by some massive reptilian monsters. I had my spear to defend myself, but Rainbow Dash fended them off with her hooves alone.”

Wait, what?

“Wow! That was so amazing!” The mare in the crown said. “You really do go on the best adventures!”

He didn’t mention the other things.

The group began to move off and talk amongst themselves. Rainbow Dash looked at Kain, surprised. “You didn’t mention the whole pig thing?” She said.

“Why? I don’t think they needed to hear that.” Kain said. “I’m pretty sure we know who needs to remember that embarrassing detail. And this isn’t some ploy to have you owe me for withholding a secret. I understand your desire to appear heroic. Many who aspire to be dragoons have done it for the glory, but I knew that they still wanted to aid those who couldn’t defend themselves.”

The dragoon grabbed a mug, filled it with cider, and moved off.

“Thanks Kain.” Rainbow said.

Ugh, I think I need a break from all this adventuring for a while. Maybe I can get Rarity to "convince" me to go to the spa.

......a mud bath would feel really nice.

~BelligerentBindlestiff

Musical Inspiration/Accompaniment: “Mystic Mysidia” from Final Fantasy IV Celtic Moon.