Pinkie Almighty

by Doctor Disco

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Pinkie Pie, Main 6, Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2251

Discord makes the mistake of giving Pinkie the powers of a god. Buck. EVERYPONY! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

Discord has been experimenting with how certain ponies react to being given god-like powers. Naturally, Discord makes the mistake of giving Pinkie the powers of a god. And so we come to a nightmare scenario where the end of the universe is nigh and- HIYA GUYS! PINKIE HERE! I'm just here to say you're in for a treat! Welcome to hell!

AGH! NOOOOO! STOP!

Feel free to leave a comment of criticism down below!

Published 2016-10-10 15:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-10-10 15:20:01 UTC

The End Of The Universe!

“Goooood morning everypony!” Pinkie shouted as she stuck her head out the window.

“Well howdy do, Pinkie!” Applejack called from below as she waved up to Pinkie.

“Hiya Applejack! How’s it hangin’?” Pinkie asked as she somehow stuck her rear legs to the windowsill and hung downwards, now upside down.

“Well, nothin’ much right now. I was just going to get mah stall set up for the festival this afternoon.”

Gasping with an impossibly long inhale, Pinkie dropped to the ground and grabbed Applejack’s face, smushing hers against Applejack’s. “A FESTIVAL!? HOW DID I MISS THIS?!” Pinkie shouted into Applejack’s face. Applejack swatted Pinkie Pie away and frowned.

“Wait,” Applejack paused, raising a hoof, “You don’t know about the Summer Fun Fling Festival being held this year?”

“A WHAT!?” Pinkie screeched, defying gravity by somehow glitching up and stopping. Suddenly, her face fell in the way only Pinkie could “I’ll be back,” Pinkie Pie squinted. And just like that, Pinkie Pie was gone.

Adjusting her hat, Applejack looked around with a sheepish smile. Shaking her head and chuckling softly, she muttered, “Oh Pinkie…” And then with a snap, Applejack became Discord.

“Let’s see how this turns out, shall we?” Discord smirked. With a snap, something happened. In distance, he could hear fireworks and the sounds of confetti. Smiling, he turned around to see the real Applejack staring with an open mouth at Discord.

“What did ya do?!” Applejack shouted, “And why were you disguised as me?”

“This will be my last experiment, promise!” Discord said. “Besides, what could possibly go wrong?” He then looked around expectantly, as if anticipating something to actually go wrong. “Oh, and you never lie so I thought it would be easy to trick Pinkie as you.”

Raising a hoof in questioning, and then dropping it, she shook her head. “I thought you were better than that Discord,” Applejack said, “And you really don’t know Pinkie Pie if you think nothing will go wrong from her missing a party.”

And with that, everything was barraged with pink luminescence.

“Looks like I have a pink party pony to attend to!” Discord announced, before snapping his claws.

“DISCORD!” Applejack yelled, shaking a hoof at where he was last. The sound of a cannon brought her to her senses, and she quickly began to run. With her destination final, she set course for the Castle of Friendship where she knew Twilight and Fluttershy were at.

Looking around, ponies could only wonder why there was pink light emanating from Ponyville central and why Applejack was galloping as fast as she could to the Princess’ castle.

The moment Pinkie dashed from Applejack (who was actually Discord)...

“A festival?!” Pinkie muttered as she darted through the streets looking for any sign of a party. “How come I was never told this!?” Skidding to a stop at a banner, her smile widened. “The Summer Fun Fling Festival!” Taking a step forward, she stopped. “I’ve never heard of the Summer Fun Fling Festival before…” Pinkie put a hoof to her muzzle in deep thought. In an instant, she shrugged and bounced into the town square. “Oh well, a party is a party!”

Looking around, she frowned at the lack of decorations or ponies present. Even more was the fact that there were no party favors or foods and desserts present. Furrowing her brows, she shook her head. “Whoever prepared this had no idea of what they were doing…” Somewhere in the distance, a pony gasped and began to cry.

“Sorry random background pony nopony will ever know! I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings!” Pinkie shouted. Looking around once again, she stood on her rear legs and crack her hooves. “It’s time to liven things up!” she cried with a passion. Pulling her party cannon from somewhere, she felt a tingle go through her spine and she giggled.

“That felt funny!” she said out loud as she giggled, and lit her cannon. Without warning, fireworks shot out of the cannon as well as more confetti than she could’ve ever been able to stock. The fireworks exploded right above town square, causing loud booms to shatter some windows.

“That’s never happened before…?” Pinkie raised an eyebrow as she looked into her cannon. Now raising both eyebrows in surprise, she whispered, “What in the hay?”

From a distance, the amplified boom of her party cannon (the sound of confetti) could be heard and reverberated through all the ponies in Ponyville. Up front, Pinkie had been shot back and now found herself floating in the air, emanating pink light.

“Whoo! This so weird!” Pinkie exclaimed. She then rubbed her hooves together with her tongue sticking it in concentration. “Let’s see what I can do!”

In an explosion of confetti, town square was now covered in streamers, tables filled with desserts and snacks, and lot’s of summer themed decorations. “This is gonna be the best fesitval party EVER! WOOHOO!” Pinkie shouted and she put on some glasses. The pink light had now stopped glowing from her, but she proceeded to pull something out of her mane. Seeing it was Discord, the chaos god himself, Pinkie squeed.

“Hiya Discord! Are you behind making me an omnipotent god? Because that’s what I am now!” Pinkie asked the somewhat dumbfounded draconequus. Having been summoned on the pink party mare’s own terms, Discord was shocked to have even been pulled out of her mane in the first place.

“What is your mane made of?” Discord questioned as he crawled out of the mass of pink hair. He looked between it and Pinkie’s face.

“I dunno, but it sure beats having to carry around saddlebags everywhere I go!”

“And just because I gave you a portion of my powers, it does not make you an omnipotent god,” Discord remarked as he snapped his claw matter of factly.

“Well, ya just made the biggest mistake of yer goldarn life, Discord.”

Turning around, Discord smiled at the sight of Pinkie’s six friends ready to take on his next experiment. “Why hello, girls! Nice to see you in tip top shape, Starlight! Oh! And I do like that new manestyle of yours Twilight.” Discord grinned toothily at the indignant snort that came from Twilight.

“Do you realize what you’ve just done, Discord?!” Twilight shouted as she flew up to meet him face to face. Meanwhile, Pinkie hummed a happy tune to herself and floated away to do her own things. The rest of the five mares on the ground were too attentive to notice whatever it was Pinkie was doing.

“No, I guess not,” Discord said as he poofed a couch with wings into existence and flopped onto it. “Please, do enlighten me.” Facehoofing so hard Discord actually winced in sympathy, Twilight gasped at the image behind Discord. Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Starlight then ran to the edge of the chaos to gape slack-jawed at the image before them.

Not understanding why everypony was suddenly ignoring him, he grumpily turned his couch around. “Why I oughta! If you weren’t friends with Fluttershy, the way you just ignored me would make me turn you all… into… huh?” Discord slowly sputtered out the last words of his sentence before his couch poofed away.

The image displayed before them could’ve been straight from a children’s book or from a nightmare.

Wait…

Definitely from a nightmare.

“Aw, come on narrator! That’s not how my fantasyland is supposed to be described!”

Wait, what? Now she can hear me narrating her very actions?

“Yes, ever since I got my cutie mark silly. How do you think I came by all the ‘references’ that you see in My Little Pony anyways? Now getting these powers has just elevated me to actually being able to converse with you!”

Okay then… For sanity’s sake I’ll just stop putting mine and Pinkie’s conversations in text…

Everypony stared at the sight before them. Pinkie was now somehow in her human form glowing pink, and eating the various forms of living candy in a land she had created from nowhere. A giant star with sunglasses had a radio in his hands, blasting some upbeat techno rock, and Pinkie looked like she was having the time of her life.

“Woohoo!” Pinkie yelled as she reverted to her pony form before diving straight into a pool of pure caramel.

“Pinkie, what…?!” was all Starlight could say before she was hypnotized by a large candy cane. She then absentmindedly began licking and gnawing the candy cane in an oddly seductive way, causing the four remaining sane mares and even Discord to turn away.

“What in the blueberry buck is happening?” Discord cried out loud as he began to shoot fireworks from his head. Snapping his claws, he found that all that that did was create a few sparks which made a sad sputtering sound. Stuttering, he turned to look from his hand to Pinkie’s nightmare. “That’s not possible…”

“What’s not possible?!” Rainbow Dash cried, gripping Discord in her hooves. “TELL ME! I CAN’T HANDLE THIS INSANITY ANYMORE! TOO MANY BRIGHT COLOurs…” and just like that, Rainbow Dash fainted, landing with a soft *thud* into a puddle of strawberry jelly.

“P-Pinkie?” Fluttershy whimpered as she saw Pinkie appear in front of her. Without warning, Fluttershy grinned and began to eat the candy hill beside her.

“What the buck is going here, Twilight?! And pardon me for the ruffian language, but it’s the most appropriate for the matter at hand!”

“To answer your question, Rarity,” Discord solemnly said, “Pinkie is now an irreversible unstoppable god.” Discord snapped his claw causing Fluttershy to snap out of it. Fluttershy could only look around confused.

“Fluttershy, we need to stop Pinkie!”

“Well, how do ya propose we do that?” Applejack asked.

“By restarting the universe, of course!” Discord proclaimed before hopping into an odd blue shaped box. Just like that, Discord was gone. Soon enough, they began to feel all weird and tingly as they saw a large flaming ball appear in the sky.

As if she couldn’t resist the urge anymore, Twilight took off to the same candy cane Starlight had been gnawing on and licked it just as oddly seductively as her protoge.

Applejack dived into the same pool of caramel Pinkie had, crazily muttering things about apples. “Apples! Hah! I’m Applejack and I’m covered in caramel! Haha! Caramel Applejack! Hahahahha!”

Rarity just watched fascinated as she stood in the path of shining star that held the stereo. Suddenly getting trampled, her mane and tail were a mess as well as her coat having been dirtied but she didn’t seem to care as her eyes were set on the star that would potentially make all her dresses look literally stellar.

Rainbow remained unconscious.

Everypony slowly devolved into delirium as Pinkie’s trippy fanatsyland began to gain control over everyponies minds. Fluttershy was now the only one with a sane conscience as she had been personally immunized by Discord. Suddenly feeling a beeping from nowhere, Fluttershy checked it and found it was a small window thing with a message that said one word.

“GERONIMO” it said. And just like that, everything went white…

“And that’s how Equestria was made!” Discord concluded.

“Hey! That’s my line!” Pinkie accused. Discord could only put up his mismatched hands in a mock ‘sorry’ gesture.

“Come on, you really expect me to believe Starlight and I went loco in the coco and ‘seductively’ ate a candy cane?” Twilight asked rhetorically.

“Or that I fainted because it was too much for me?” Rainbow Dash added.

“Or that I went insane and jumped into a caramel pool?” Applejack snorted.

“Or that I would ever let myself get trampled, as you say?” Rarity accused.

“Or that I went sort of crazy and ate a candy hill?” Fluttershy whispered.

“Well, yeah!” Pinkie shrugged before glancing at Discord. They then both burst into laughter causing the six other mares they were seated with to look at them in confusion.

“Well, here’s all the proof you need,” Discord said as he and Pinkie could barely contain their laughter. He then handed to each pony a photograph which they all raised an eyebrow at. Once they saw what each picture was though, they glared at the duo with the thought of bloody murder apparent. It was a photograph of each of them in their most compromised state, the most embarrassing and disturbingly seductive being the one with Twilight and Starlight.

“DISCORD!” The six mares yelled in anger. Pinkie and Discord burst into laughter just then and all eyes turned to the other pony in kahoots. “PINKIE!” they shouted as well. Suddenly having a nervous bead of sweat on the side of her face, she looked worriedly at Discord with a smile.

“Should we run?” Pinkie asked.

“I think we should,” Discord whispered, just as nervous as Pinkie. With one swift motion, all that was left of the chaos lord and pink party mare was a hoof-written note that said sorry.

“GET THEM!” Twilight and Starlight shouted before they all took off running after Discord and Pinkie Pie.

I think it’s safe to say Discord and Pinkie didn’t live to see another day.

Author's Note

I feel like this was a disappointment.

Have at it, thou fiends from the infernal pit!

P.S. I feel like this should get a horror tag because of how ridiculously scary a situation like this would be, especially with Pinks. Anypony else?