The Rejuvenation Play

by Purple Patch

Rating: teen
Tags: Dinky Hooves, Derpy Hooves, Princess Celestia, Random, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Doctor Whooves, Mayor Mare, Comedy
Length: 9478

On a very special night, a very special pony is born in a very special town

Derpy Doo, heavily-pregnant, is taking part in the town play of the Rejuvenation Festival, a very important time that celebrates the birth of Laurelore the Firsticorn, the first alicorn ruler of Equestria. Mayor Mare and friends organise the event and, when the big night comes, are fully expecting something to go wrong.
Princess Celestia, meanwhile, comes to Ponyville for some mild respite and watches the play.
And a lonely traveller, finally having found his true place in the universe, returns to Equestria to help an expecting mother.
What happens will change their lives forever as on this night, just as it was many centuries ago, a very special foal will be born in Ponyville.

Based on the Vicar of Dibley's Christmas Special.
(Rest in Peace; Emma Chambers, John Bluthal, Liz Smith, Gary Waldhorn, Trevor Peacock and Roger Lloyd Pack who brought laughter to my home and RE Lessons. You will be missed)
Cover Image by Beavernator, one of the best MLP Artists out there.
Sequel here: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/350367/old-fences
Cover Art (By me) here: https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/755433/cover-art
Does anyone know if you can add more than 5 characters on the main cast?

Published 2016-10-11 04:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-10-13 17:31:05 UTC

Chapter 1

Author's Note

Hello everyone and thank you for choosing to read my first attempt at Fimfiction.
This story is largely based off the Vicar of Dibley's Christmas Special, one of my favourite comedies.
There are also references to Doctor Who (As you can imagine) Frasier, How I Met Your Mother and Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged. I recommend all of the above.
Laurelore the Firsticorn is based off Lauren Faust.
Rememberly the Bonnycorn is based off Bonny Zacherle.
Part 2 is ready and waiting if you so desire. Let me know what you think.
Enjoy and thank you all for sharing your magic with me.
MLP FIM is property of Lauren Faust and Hasbro.

Chapter 1

Mayor Mare was showing signs of the stress of leadership.

Not as Mayor of Ponyville but as the director for the Rejuvenation Festival Open Theatre Production. Unfortunately for her, playing Rememberly the Bonnycorn, worshipped as the Great Imaginator, the narrator of the play, was a role that fell on her. She was fiddling with a pair of fake wings and a great prosthetic horn, that left her struggling to get in and out of most doorways. These problems had left her very grateful for the pony who suggested that the play could be set outside, quite literally an open theatre, where the audience would explore various parts of the town depicting the various scenes of the annual Rejuvenation Festival, the celebrated birth of Laurelore the Firsticorn. The idea had come from an unimposing, clumsy and heavily-pregnant pegasus called Derpy who had auditioned for the role of Dandelion, Mother of Laurelore. She'd had terrible difficulty learning her lines and was unlikely to make a very memorable performance but her idea was, nonetheless, a fantastic one and it had saved considerable time and resources by separating the play into several stages around Ponyville.

Derpy herself had undergone an unfortunate happenstance recently. A party in Fillydelphia eight months ago had culminated in her getting, as some ponies described, 'knocked-up' which had dealt her a severe bout of depression and fear of company. It had taken quite some time for her friends to bring her back on her hooves and together they'd helped organise and participate in the town play as a means of morale-building. The foal was soon to arrive in the coming month, she had said, but on everypony's insistence, she'd taken it easy throughout the play.

Written Script, who had both written the script and was playing Woodwork, Father of Laurelore, ironically suffered from stage-fright, so most of Woodwork and Dandelion's lines had been given to Carrot Top, playing Technicolor the Guide, who'd been handling things well it seemed.

Lyra Heartstrings and Bonbon were a double act playing Megan (Pronounced Meh-Ghan) the Mysterious, who came to the main characters to herald the birth of the Firsticorn. A legendary being from another world that walked on two legs and possessed strange appendages, Lyra had made the costume herself and the two mares stood atop each other and controlled her arms and legs with a hoof-made system of stilts and levers.

Bulk Biceps had been given the part of Warlord Tirek. Big, loud and formidable, he seemed made for the part and could at least be counted on for his scenes.

The Flower Trio, Lily, Daisy and Roseluck, were cast as the Founders, Chancellor Puddinghead, Princess Platinum and Commander Hurricane respectively. This was an opportunity to put their melodrama to good use.

Beside them, Colgate, Berry Punch and Cloud Kicker, cast as Clover, Smart Cookie and Pansy, had few lines to remember and had, as far as Mayor Mare knew, learnt them to her satisfaction.

Ponet, who was playing Tirek's spy, Verrucas, had insisted on more lines, difficult to come up with for a character who amounts to spying on the main characters, informing Tirek and being incinerated for bringing him bad news.

The Spa Ponies, Aloe and Lotus, were playing the Enchantresses, Ri'Kah and Dra'Ghal. They, it seemed, could be counted on both to learn their lines and their dance routine.

The Cake's Bakery served as the inn where the Dandelion and Woodwork tried to stay. Carrot Cake, the Innkeeper, had been worked off his back-hooves making pies and pastries for the cast and audience and so hadn't had a great deal of time to learn his lines. But he assured the rest of them that his wife and adopted daughter were there on hoof if he needed them.

The barn scene, where the Firsticorn would be born, would be held in Sweet Apple Acres since Granny Smith had, very generously, volunteered to let her family farm be used for the performance. Golden Delicious, Apple Fritter and several members of the family had volunteered to play the parts of the foreign travellers who behold the Rejuvenation and spread the word among their homelands.

Despite everyone's efforts, the rehearsals had been stressful. They'd gotten through enough rewrites to stock a library and many of these changes had been done in the last minute. Worse still, a letter arrived for her this morning stating that Princess Celestia herself would be taking time off her busy schedule to witness the play in person.

Still, this was a Rejuvenation Play not a Shaking Spear Performance. No-one was expecting tears by the end...or at least that wasn't the intention. Mayor Mare took another deep breath as she adjusted the wings one last time and took a look in the mirror. It would serve.

Exiting her office, she greeted the cast.

"All right team! This is it! The big night!" she made an effort to sound more confident than she felt "Now go out there and show 'em what you're made of! And if you forget any lines, don't be afraid to improvise! Make it convincing!"

"Ooh" Derpy, dressed up in a baby-blue gown and shawl, gave a small whine, clutching her stomach "I...I feel it...hurting..."

"Yes! Like that, exactly like that!" The Mayor piped up brightly "Well done, Derpy. Keep it up" She continued shouting encouragement as the cast and crew dispersed to take their positions. Alone and waiting for the audience, she turned.

"Okay, who ordered the dragon?"

There was a pause. The Mayor stared, perplexed, at a brown earth pony in a trailing scarf and a long woolly coat, standing beside quite possibly the most alarming creature she had ever laid eyes upon. A draconic beast of sorts, long, green and goggle-eyed.

"Bwawk!" the creature exclaimed and scratched itself furiously.

"I...don't think any pony ordered any dragon, Mr..."

"Doctor. Just the Doctor" He looked around, grinning wildly "Are you sure about that? The Rejuvenation Play Pre-Final Scene, Tirek's legions are driven away by Crackle the Magic Dragon. Isn't that right, love?" He glanced up at what was either his pet or travelling acquaintance.

"Bwawk!" the creature exclaimed.

"Oh...well...I believe, Mr...Doctor...we may have cut that scene owing to timing difficulties"

"What? Nononono. There's gotta' be a Crackle the Magic Dragon Scene. No play's complete without it"

The Mayor was about to protest when the newcomer waved a hoof to calm her.

"No worries dear, we know our lines, you can count on us. Oh and, just for clarification, is there a mare about to give birth in this play?"

"Well, yes, that would be the Mother Dandelion"

"Fantastic. Okay, we'll, er...wait for the curtain call. Oh, and Ms Mayor..." he added before leaving with the creature.

"Keep an eye on that statue!"

He pointed to a statue of a dismayed Draconequus that had appeared to the side of the Town Hall.

The Mayor blinked. The statue was gone.

"I am getting too old for this" she grumbled as the audience arrived.

Princess Celestia had explained to all those present that she was here as a simple member of the audience and little more. Nopony was expected to show any special honours or privileges or anything else that may spoil the intended performance. For the most part, the crowd had been obliging. She found the small, humble town quite relaxing. Far from the watchful eyes and honeyed words of Canterlot's elite, Celestia felt more at home in Ponyville than she ever did at the palace. The crowd had gathered in the early nightfall just outside the town, the area lit up with magical lanterns directing the mobile audience to the various scenes of the Rejuvenation.

"Good evening everypony and thank you all for coming on this very special night" Mayor Mare looked quite striking in her costume, the white gown and great wings of the Bonnycorn resplendent in the lantern-light "Welcome to our Ponyville Open Theatre Rejuvenation Pantomime. On behalf of everypony involved, we hope you all enjoy watching it as much as we've enjoyed rehearsing it...hopefully more so" There was a light laughter "As you know we haven't charged anypony anything to watch our theatre so at the end, there'll be this little sheep waiting here at the gate and all donations will be welcome. Thank you"

She gestured to a small, cream-coloured pegasus in a sheep costume, who held a bucket, handle in her mouth, labelled 'Please Give Us Lots Of Bits'. Below it, Celestia noticed, Bulk Biceps had added 'Or Else'. The little filly stood transfixed by the sight of the princess as the crowd bustled to the opening scene. Celestia gave a smile but the little pony trembled at the sight. Mayor Mare threw up her hooves as she narrated with vim and vigour.

"In the Tenth Year Before Equestrian Harmony, the great Dream Castle of the Flutter Valley had fallen and the land of ponies was wracked with disorder as the strong preyed upon the weak. And there were none stronger and none who hated the weak more than the evil Warlord, Tirek"

Bulk Biceps emerged from the hill, marching with a gaggle of ponies dressed as centaurs, gargoyles, griffins and diamond dogs. The enormous pegasus was painted bright red and adorned with black fur and two great curling horns. Ponet, bedecked in the outfit of a blue-grey gargoyle, strutted forward and burst into his soliloquy.

"Ooooooh gaze upon his likeness, ye mighty, and despaireth for dost ye not hear the ground tremble beneath his tumultuous hoof..."

Celestia blinked as the attention-hungry actor's prose reminded her of someone very dear to her. Someone she'd hurt in an unforgivable way. Someone she'd never forget. Before anyone could notice her tears, Ponet's speech was interrupted by Bulk Biceps who hadn't been informed of the unicorn's 'rewrites' and bellowed out his own lines.

"YEAH!" His voice made everypony present, Ponet included, jump back in shock "I AM TIREK AND MY REIGN SHALL BE ETERNAL! NONE DARE OPPOSE ME! I AM UNSTOPPABLE! WE ARE VICTORIOUS ACROSS OLD EQUESTRIA! OUR HOOVES HAVE TRAMPLED THE FLUTTER VALLEY! WE STOMPED THE DREAM CASTLES TO DUST! AND THEN WE STOMPED ON THE DUST! YEAH! NOW WARRIORS, TO LANDS BEYOND MY GRASP WHERE WE SHALL CONQUER AND LAY WASTE TO ALL BEFORE US! VERRUCAS!" He pointed a massive hoof at the clueless gargoyle "LET MY PROCLAMATION BE HEARD ACROSS THE VALLEY OF THOSE WEAK-MINDED EQUINES! TIREK DEMANDS TRIBUTE! EVERY FAMILY SHALL BE TAXED TO FUND MY CAMPAIGNS OR THEY SHALL ALL BE ANNIHILATED!"

"Y-y-yes my lord" Ponet answered. He cleared his throat and seemed poised to continue his speech before he was seized by the throat by Tirek in an inescapable headlock. Whether Bulk Biceps was intent on shutting up Ponet or simply getting into the act was uncertain.

"ONWARD! TO THE FORESTS OF ZEBRICA, THE DESERTS OF SADDLE ARABIA AND THE HILLS OF CHINEIGH! WE CONQUER ALL! YEAH!"
His warriors stamped their spears and clattered their shields in unison with a chant of "Ti-Rek! Ti-Rek! Ti-Rek! Ti-Rek!" as they left the stage to disappear over the hill, outside of the lantern's reach and into darkness.

Celestia breathed a sigh of relief. She had come here to forget the many trials and tragedies that had befallen her reign and the great body-builder had succeeded in providing the quite the distraction. She knew Ponet hadn't meant to offend or upset her but he had the potential to do so nonetheless, the way he was carrying on.

Mayor Mare seemed to share her relief as she led the crowd on to the next scene.

"Tirek cruelly taxed all under his domain. Those who could not pay were persecuted harshly. Many were forced to leave their old homes in the Flutter Valley, now a desolate wasteland thanks to Tirek and his hordes, and seek new life in the lands ruled by the Founders. Lands without the luxuries they'd become used to in the valley. Lands where the ponies toiled the soil with their hooves, crafted the clouds with their wings and cast their magic spells with their horns. The Valley ponies were distrusted by the locals and could find little shelter. One such family were a husband and wife. Woodwork and Dandelion, aided by their trusty friend and student, Technicolor the Guide, who knew Old Equestria like the back of her hoof"

More lanterns lit up and the main characters and appeared before the audience. Carrot Top wore a desert headscarf that the denizens of the Flutter Valley, now called the Ragged Lands, wore to shield themselves from the dust storms. Written Script wore similar garb and was pulling Derpy along in a small pull-cart. Derpy sat stock-still, breathing heavily, her unsteady eyes glazed over.

Written Script stared at the audience, his eyes bulging, and began to whimper slightly. Carrot Top jerked him out his predicament with an elbow to the side.

"Er...Tirek will never find us here, oh faithful Technicolor. But I fear if we do not find shelter, we shall surely waste away"

Mayor Mare gave him an encouraging wink and Carrot Top spun round to face the audience, unveiling her headscarf and smiling to the crowd who gave some light applause.

"Fear not, oh gentle Woodwork. You and your lovely wife, Dandelion, shall surely find help soon. Come. We are tired and here we must rest until we have the strength to continue on"

"Ow...." Derpy murmured "Um..." She was struggling. It was plain to see. But not just with her lines "What if no help comes at all? We are...oh...far from the Flutter Valley...no land was quite like it...we wanted for nothing...but-ngh...but...now..."

Sensing something awry, Carrot Top interrupted.

"Lie here and rest, dear friends. And hold out hope. I may not be from the old Valley where all life flourished and smiles never faded but I know that as long as we value hope and friendship then anypony can achieve anything. But for now we must rest" She gestured for them to lie down. Written Script lay flat on his back uneasily and made unconvincing snoring noises. Derpy, meanwhile, curled up on the cart, her breathing coming slow and steady.

Bright, hovering lanterns began to glow behind them as the huge figure of Megan the Mysterious appeared in their dreams.

"I still don't understand why I have to be the legs in this stupid suit!" Bonbon protested, whispering to her acting partner as she stepped precariously in the model's great silts, her friend sitting on her shoulders in an awkward position.

"You've got better balance. And both of us would regret you sitting on my horn" Lyra worked the levers above Bonbon "Besides, I know how these humans talked. I've done studies. This is my chance to prove to everypony what they were really like!"

A benefit of her design included the chance to freely read off her script within her controlling compartment.

"Hear me, gentle four-legged beings!" Lyra beckoned "For I am Megan of the Lost World of Five-Fingered Ones. Behold my flat face and complex system of extremities!"
"Lo! By the semi-transparent wings of the Summerwings! I do believe I see an otherworldly guide come to bring us tidings of great joy!" Carrot Top leapt to her hooves and made a show of surprise as the figure of Megan slowly pointed one of her fingers in the direction of Ponyville.

"That way, my dear friends, lies salvation" Megan's voice, projected through several speaker devices, sounded deep, booming and almost ghostly "Close by lies a humble town where you shall bear your precious foal. You know this to be true, for I am Megan the Mysterious, Avatar of Happiness! Ancient and glorious am I!" And the figure raised her arms and breathed fire before striding off towards the farm on the outskirts of town. The audience cheered and whooped at the spectacle.

"Well..." Bonbon said inside the towering puppet "That went well. I didn't know you fitted a flamethrower in here"

Lyra was quiet for a moment then spoke with a hint of worry.

"I didn't" She looked about, checking the emergency exits. She'd installed them in the eight places she believed humans to have stored their magic.

"I think we should leave the suit"

"Really?" Bonbon looked up at her friend with concern.

"This has happened before"

The next scene took place at the Cake's Bakery, setting the scene for the inn. Carrot Top, Written Script and Derpy Hooves arrived and were greeted with Mr Cake.

"Hail, oh friendly innkeeper" Carrot Top proclaimed, bowing "We are travellers from a far-off land. Is there any room in your inn for three journey-worn ponies?"

"Er..." Mr Cake was stumbling at his lines. Behind the door of the bakery, Mrs Cake and a small filly could be heard chattering.

"Is is my line yet? Is it? Is it?"

"Not yet, dear, just give him a moment"

"Ah, my apologies, poor travellers, but there is no room at the inn...er...because of the derby...or something"

There was a pause. Far into the crowd, somepony coughed.

"I don't hear anything"

"Wait a little more, dear, I'll just get them going again"

Mrs Cake poked her head out the door and whispered the next line.

"Everything okay? The next line's 'I am heavy with child'"

"Oh yeah, also I am heavy with child!" Mr Cake exclaimed "So, you know, kind of inconvenient"

Carrot Top, Mrs Cake and Mayor Mare all facehoofed in frustration. Celestia, feeling the need to help, gave a gentle but meaningful nod to Derpy. The grey pegasus piped up.

"Oh...ooh...I mean...I am heavy with child!"

"Is it my line now?"

"Yes, darling, go for it!"

And with that, a young pink filly hopped up on the windowsill and joyfully contributed the line her adopted father had given her.

"In that case, we have room for you in the barn!"

The eager filly was treated with a great deal of amusement from the audience who clapped soundly and gave off a chorus of 'Aww's as she grinned and bowed to all before her. The bakers smiled proudly at her as Mrs Cake gently took her off the windowsill.

"Well done, Pinkie" she cooed "You were absolutely fantastic"

Mayor Mare, subtly mopping at her brow, beamed before the crowd.

"And so they made their way to the barn to prepare for the birth of their wondrous child"

"Ooooh...I can feel it coming" Derpy groaned as she was carted away.

"Yes, that's good, keep it up" Carrot whispered.

"No I really can!" The grey pegasus was whimpering and sweating profusely which caused wide appreciation for her acting from all who witnessed it.

"She's jolly convincing isn't she" said a stallion in the crowd that Celestia knew by voice to be Fancy Pants.

Yet she sensed all was not well. And not just within the play.

"Unknown to the travellers and indeed the rest of the town, a wicked grey gargoyle, Verrucas, spied on the poor helpless ponies"

A lantern lit up before Ponet, who stood in the alleyway, looking sombre. One might have thought he was about to burst into song.

"Aha! I spy the transgressors who would dare defy the almighty Tirek!" he waffled "Ah, at such times, I am reminded of my boyhood in Surneigh. Romping with my schoolchums in the fens and spinneys..."

"But he had no time to waste!" the Mayor interrupted "For he knew well that if he was late in bringing his master news, his punishment would be unspeakable"

Ponet opened his mouth, shut it, glowered at the Bonnycorn narrator and scuttled off.

He would get his chance later.

"Well, bah the silver sands a' glitterin' Kitalpha, it sure is a real good thing this barn 'ere is so hospitable" Apple Fritter, dressed in shimmering Saddle Arabian cloth, said at length.

"Indeed. Ah should say, bah the cloudy mountain of Qilin Wang, the folk keepin' such a barn are truly hard-workin' ponies" Golden Delicious added, his Chineighse straw hat shaking as he nodded. Mayor Mare rolled her eyes.

Trust them to take a little too much pride in their family matriarch's contributions.

"It is good that we may be among friends and gentle ponies in our hour of need" Carrot Top said outside the barn, conversing with travellers with suspiciously farmpony-sounding accents. Woodwork and Dandelion were offstage but, now-and-again, the pained moan of Derpy could be heard.

"But, fellow ponies, is there any danger lurking in these lands?"

"That thar' be!" Fritter answered "For they do say, bah the serpentine scimitars o' the Oryx Dervishes, these 'ere outskirts are stalked bah a pair o' wicked temptresses"

"And oh bah the jade visage of the Spring Temple Panda, there the evil creatures be!" Golden Delicious gestured frantically towards a clearing as the Spa Ponies leapt into view.

A white unicorn with bright ruby-quartz goggles eagerly switched on a small portable music speaker and began to bob her head to the catchy pop-classic Y.M.L.P by The Village Ponies as the two mares danced in a routine clearly inspired by one of Sapphire Shores' numbers.

Aloe and Lotus were dressed in tight-fitting black leather jumpsuits, open in several suggestive places, with prosthetic bat wings and long, devilish tails. Both wore heavy make-up and shimmering wigs. Aloe's was auburn, Lotus's was black. When their dancing had subsided, the two Enchantresses proclaimed their entrance.

"We're the Enchantresses of Gloom" Lotus began.

"And we like bringing pain and doom" Aloe continued.

"You can't stop our little game"

"For Ri'Kah and Dra'Ghal is our name...s"

The crowd, and indeed the cast, took in the sight. The Spa ponies had kept their planning and preparations largely to themselves and this was appearing quite hard to take in.

Mayor Mare was certain that the suits they were wearing weren't appropriate for an all-ages pantomime.

"We are villains who like to rhyme"

"In fact we do it all the time"

"And if you don't think we look hot"

"We'll shove your friendship up your nose!"

Lotus closed her eyes in resignation and hissed to her sister.

"You were supposed to say..."

"Sister! Not in front of the foals!"

"I'm not the one who bought these costumes!"

"Look, let's just get on with it!"

Carrot Top shook her head, trying very hard to move on from the spectacle before her.

"Er...Zounds! These wicked enchantresses seek to lure away faithful Woodwork with their dreaded wiles and...um..." She found herself bestride the two Enchantresses' bodies who ran their hooves through her curly orange mane.

"Forget Woodwork, you're much more stunning"

"Indeed, you get our essence running"

"Er..." Carrot Top remembered that the lines where the Enchantresses attempted to lure Woodwork away from his wife had been some of the many given, instead, to her.

This was problematic. Particularly seeing as the Spa Ponies seemed to be taking the change in direction a little too well for her liking.

"Now play along and none of your lip"

"And don't make us get out the whip"

"OH NO!" Mayor Mare squeaked somewhat louder than she may have meant to. This fiasco needed to be prevented and quickly. Fortunately, she had come prepared.

"The evil Enchantresses have our heroes cornered! But you, the audience, can save them!"

The Cakes and Apples brought up several tables, cluttered with pies, tarts, flans and soufflés. But they weren't for eating.

"Quickly! Throw the Enchantresses off their trail...by throwing these!"

The young colts and fillies in the audience needed no persuasion as they swiftly gathered up the desserts in both hooves and took aim. As Carrot Top flung herself out of the firing line, the Enchantresses stood stock-still with horror.

"Wait a minute" Lotus squealed "Was this in the script?"

"I don't know" Aloe whimpered "Mine sort of ripped"

"...stop rhyming, sister"

"OPEN FIRE!" The hyperactive pink filly from the bakery sounded the volley as Ri'Kah and Dra'Ghal were pelted at every angle with the well-aimed pastries. The various pies and puddings, each one brimming with whipped cream and syrup, splattered them utterly until they were quite literally covered in the stuff. Apple Fritter lassoed the two of them together and spun them round, turning them into a rotating target for the young ones. There they spun, round and round, plastered with sugary muck, unable to fully comprehend their situation, until the tables were empty and the sound of cheering and giggling of foals echoed throughout Ponyville. Carrot Top finished the show by taking a large cauldron of purple icing-sugar that Bulk Bicep had labelled 'Smooz' and dumping it over their heads, leaving the two of them wearing it like an oversized hat.

"Hooray, hooray, the wicked enchantresses have been driven off thanks to our brave, intrepid audience! Thank you all! And let's hear it for Aloe and Lotus!" she proclaimed and gave the two of them a light push offstage to a raucous applause. The two of them unsteadily tottered two and fro, lassoed and blind, the cauldron stuck on their heads as they struggled to keep balanced. As it hit a tree with a resounding 'Dong!', they fell on their rumps and sat, dazed and bewildered, tied together, covered literally from head to hoof in pies and crowned with the pot of lilac ooze.

It had definitely not been a good day for their dignity.

They both found themselves muttering the same thing at each other.

"This was your idea!"

"Well, that went...okay" Written Script, ironic given his name, struggled for words as he peered out the barn door they waited behind.

"Oh...it hurts!"

"Yes, Derpy, very good. It's alright, we're offstage now. Sheesh, those enchantresses didn't know what hit 'em!"

"Doctor..." the gray pegasus whimpered "I need...Doctor..."

"It's okay, Derpy, we're not on for another few minutes" Written Script tore his gaze away from the peek in the barn door and turned to the Mother Dandelion who was lying on her back, her legs apart, and gasping for air.

"D-Derpy?" The Father Woodwork shook his head in bemusement "It's great that you're getting into the part and all but wait until..."

"SCRIPT! IT'S COMING! IT'S REALLY COMING!" Derpy yelled, trying to be heard over the applause outside.

"Wh-what?" Tentatively, the unicorn bent down and checked her, peering between her legs. His eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.

"Oh...my...gosh"

And he collapsed, comatose, on the floor.

'Well this is no better' Derpy thought, shutting her eyes tight as another contraction ripped through her body.

The pain was unbearable, worse than anything she'd ever experienced. It wasn't like hitting her head or crashing into things. This was from inside. She was in agony. And her foal might be too.

'Doctor, where are you?!' She was screaming in her mind, too pained and scared to make a noise out loud.

'I need you! Doctor!'

Chapter 2

"YOU DARE, VERRUCAS!" Bulk Bicep's voice boomed through Ponyville as the flimsy grey gargoyle cowered before him on the Town Podium, serving as Tirek's throne "YOU DARE BRING BAD NEWS TO ME?! YOU KNOW THE PENALTY FOR FUELLING MY ALMIGHTY WRATH!"

Raindrops, playing a Griffin Sentinel, handed Warlord Tirek a bright red cheerleader's pom-pom, representing a fireball, which he hurled at the trembling Verrucas. Ponet caught it and clutched it to his chest, letting loose a drawn-out cry of mortal agony.

"Ooooooh, I'm dying!" he droned, flailing pathetically. Mayor Mare was beginning to wonder whether he and any of the Flower Trio were related.

She took off on the narration "And the unfortunate gargoyle was gone-"

"Never again to revisit the scene of my boyhood in Surneigh..." Ponet suddenly continued. Either he hadn't been informed that the character's final lament had been cut for timing or he simply didn't care. The Mayor's bits were on the latter.

"Romping with my schoolchums in the fens and spinneys-"

"Just then, the merciless Tirek cast another fireball at the gargoyle who had displeased him" The Mayor butted in. Bulk Biceps glanced about, picked up the pom-pom and threw it at Ponet.

"Only grazed me" Ponet smirked as he continued regardless "When the twilight bathed the hedgerows like a lum-"

Bulk Biceps, once again, picked up the pom-pom and rubbed it in Ponet's face, shoving him offstage.

"The final fireball incinerated Verrucas in an instant, leaving behind nothing but a silent pile of ash!" The Mayor snapped "Tirek's cruel punishment stunned his upper circle as he plotted to do away with this..."

"Hi Ho, I'm Verrucas' brother, Laryngitis!" Ponet popped back up on stage, his costume unchanged but for a small ruffle of the wig "I haven't seen him since our boyhood in-" Another pom-pom to the face shushed him.

"And so died the last surviving member of Verrucas' household" The Mayor barked, struggling to compose herself.

"Well..." Celestia heard Fancy Pants mutter "I certainly didn't see that coming"

The Mayor continued.

"What better proof of Tirek's ruthlessness than-"

"Hello, I'm the jellied-eel salesman! Years ago I went to school with Verrucas!" Once again, Ponet reappeared on stage, having pilfered Mr Cake's baking hat "We used to romp in the fens and spinneys-"

A bombardment of fireball pom-poms bludgeoned him off the stage.

"And so died the jellied-eel salesman" This time, the red-faced Mayor saw Ponet opening his mouth for another attempt to complete his prose "And then just to be certain, Tirek had ordered his hordes to lay waste to Surneigh until not a single friend or acquaintance of Verrucas remained, such was his cruelty"

Right on cue, there was an explosion in the distance. The Mayor didn't want to think too hard about where it came from.

"I say, this is all becoming rather gory" Fancy Pants exclaimed.

His last chance thwarted, Ponet stomped, fuming, off the stage.

"Barbarians..." he sneered "You're all barbarians"

"YEAH! WE'RE ALL BARBARIANS!" Tirek roared "AND NOW I AND MY BARBARIAN ARMY SHALL EXTERMINATE THESE FILTHY PONIES! I SWEAR BY MY DOUBLE SET OF RIBCAGES THAT I WILL DESTROY THEM ALL! YEAH!"

The crowd were quiet for a moment, which was becoming quite frequent.

The Mayor braced herself for a long night ahead of her.

Safely out of Ponyville's proximity, a mint-green unicorn and a light-beige earth pony stared, faces blackened with ash, at the smouldering remains of Megan the Mysterious.

"Well shoot" Lyra cursed "I knew that was too much dynamite!"

"Why even...actually forget it, I don't wanna know" Bonbon snapped.

"Never mind, I kept the blueprints. I'll nail it next time, don't worry"

"Well find someone else to play the lower half. How does anything stand on two legs, it's impossible...and kind of degrading"

"Look, I think, right now, we should check on the others"

"I guess. Still, we're not back on until...What The Hay Is That?!"

Lyra and Bonbon turned to see a peculiar creature. It resembled some form of four-legged beast covered in a white and purple goo with an enormous spherical head. It didn't seem to have very good balance as it was crashing into more obstacles than Derpy on a bad day. Taking lessons from the Apple Family herding cows, Lyra and Bonbon flew to either side of it, steadied it and rested it down. It was making muffled noises from underneath it's head.

"Let me guess" Bonbon said, sardonically "Something to do with humans?"

"I'm not some human-obsessed simpleton, Bonbon. And don't give me that look. Besides, I don't think it's some weird creature at all...look here" She recognised the label "This is Bulk Biceps writing. It was gonna' be used in...oh dear" They gingerly removed the cauldron to reveal two very cross spa ponies, lassoed together and practically plastered in a mixture of pastry cream and icing sugar.

"Uh...hey girls...how did your scene go?"

"Get us some towels and don't even ask!" Lotus growled "I don't believe this! This is simply disgusting!"

"What are you, kidding?" Bonbon said, licking at her hooves "This stuff tastes really good. I really ought to go to the Cakes more often"

"Bonbon..." Aloe seethed "If you try to lick me, at all, you will be walking on stumps"

"It's just a good job Vera didn't take our parts" her sister groaned "She starts crying like a baby if a hair in her mane's out of place"

"Alright, settle down" Lyra said "Let's all just find somewhere to get cleaned up. We need to be ready for the final scene before long"

"At last, Technicolor found the Three Great Founders of Equestria, Chancellor Puddinghead of the Earth Ponies, Commander Hurricane of the Pegasi and Princess Platinum of the Unicorns, who were in the middle of a heated debate"

The scene lit up on three ponies dressed as the founders, shouting irately across a table and flailing their hooves wildly.

"I say your thirty bit airship fuel tax goes too far!" Daisy barked, adorned in a purple gown and silver coronet.

"I wouldn't talk about going too far if I was wearing that!" Roseluck thundered, armoured with grey plate and a plumed helm.

"Can we change the subject?" Lily butted in, dressed in a brown, green and pink motley suit with literal bells and whistles attached. She then loudly declared to both the cast and audience.

"Foals come running for the great taste of Crayon Sandwiches!"

The ponies playing Platinum and Hurricane glanced at the Earth Pony Chancellor and then at themselves.

"I say we take everything Puddinghead says with half-a-grain of salt at the most" Platinum declared.

"Agreed" Hurricane said. And with that, they high-hoofed, sat back in their chairs and punched the air with both hooves.

"The system works!" they yelled.

Puddinghead muttered something probably not suitable for an all-ages audience.

"If you'll pardon my intrusion, great leaders of ponykind, I must beseech you" Technicolor bowed before them "In a humble town not too far from here, between each of your capitals in fact, some dear friends of mine are having their child"

"Why do you bother us with such petty distractions, outsider?" Roseluck bellowed "Foals are born everywhere, everyday from everypony. This concerns us not!"

"Temper yourself, Commander!" Daisy decreed "Let her speak. Are we not reasonable?"

"Quickly!" Lily warbled "I intend to introduce new rules for all of Equestria before tomorrow! The compulsory serving of asparagus at breakfast, corsets for the under-fives and equal rights for all citizens!"

"Why the last part?" Carrot Top asked.

"Oh I just put that in for a joke! What do you think?"

"I think we should move on!" The Commander snarled "Explain your business, traveller, waste no more of our time"

"They shall have a foal, bold leaders, but a foal like no other. The destined ruler of all Equestria, bringer of the New Great Age of Magic and Harmony" Technicolor spread her hooves over her head in a mystical gesture.

"The destined ruler of Equestria?" Platinum repeated.

"Bringer of the New Great Age of Magic and Harmony?" Hurricane repeated.

"Well I didn't vote for her!" Puddinghead babbled.

"Please let me explain, wise founders. Megan, Guardian of the Flutter Valley appeared to me in a dream and told me that the foal they bear shall bring rejuvenation to ponykind so that all the world may know of the magic of friendship"

The Founders gasped in unison. With the length and volume, it was a wonder they didn't all pass out.

"Can it be true?!" Daisy cried "A being calling herself Megan, Avatar of Happiness, appeared before me in my dreams and proclaimed that a foal would be born, a unifier of Equestria who would spread her light and wisdom across the world!"

"Indeed!" Roseluck roared "And a creature calling herself Megan of the Lost World of the Five-Fingered Ones materialised in front of me as I slept and promised that a foal born this night would forge six great elements that would guard Equestria from any threat!"

"Just so!" Lily exclaimed "And I too saw Megan, hounded by two similar entities. One had long blonde pigtails, the other an ochre fringe. They would not stop whining until I clobbered them soundly with an oversized herring which I then ate with my eyeballs!"

"...good enough" Carrot Top said in a resigned fashion "So you must be aware that this foal will bring a new age unto Equestria. But Tirek, the destroyer of our peaceful home, comes now to ensure none escape him and live"

"Fear not, gentle traveller" Colgate, representing Clover the Clever, appeared, smiling serenely "You are most welcome in our lands as are all in need of help and shelter. Such is our way"

"Right you are" Berry Punch, representing Smart Cookie, took her place beside Clover, trying her best to look sagely "If this village stands between the domains of the Unicorn, Pegasus and Earth Pony, and indeed if these dreams you and our leaders share then it concerns us all"

"If this Tirek, or any other, poses you a threat," Cloud Kicker, representing Private Pansy, flew down and hovered proudly above them "then he'll find in us a far greater foe than any other he could dream of"

"Our trusty companions speak truly as they always do. So be it" Platinum rose from her chair.

"So to witness the birth of the fabled foal and repel this fierce foe we shall embark forthwith" Hurricane rose in turn.

"And there'll be much rejoicing!" Puddinghead hollered, leaping from her chair.

From Carrot Top's expression, it was clear that she too believed a long night was ahead of her.

'Okay...okay...' Carrot Top thought, patting her brow with her discarded face-wrap as she waited behind the barn for the scene to begin 'Last scene, the founders arrive, bring her gifts, Tirek arrives, chased off, foal is born, bright lights, yadda-yadda-finished, what could possibly-'

"AAAAIIIIIEEE!"

'-have possessed me to say that?' Groaning, she ducked inside the barn.

"Could you ponies please keep it-WRITTEN SCRIPT WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR HEAD BETWEEN DERPY'S LEGS!"

Derpy turned to her dear friend, her face a picture of strain and terror.

"Carrot...he...he won't wake up"

"Soon fix that!" She knelt down, grabbed the unconscious stallion by the scruff of his collar and shook him angrily "Written, you are in big trouble you cheating little...wait...Derpy are you..." Her mouth dropped.

Fate clearly had it in for her.

From outside, the Mayor could be heard narrating to the arriving audience.

"And so the founders prepared for the fabled foal six precious gifts"

The barn door opened as the Founders stood before the audience, bringing their gifts.

"Behold!" Colgate sounded "I, Clover the Clever of the Unicorns, arrive with my sacred gift. A star that fell from beyond the sky, brought down by Star-Swirl the Bearded to guide me to Princess Platinum. It represents Equestrian Magic. To be gifted unto the fabled foal"

"Behold!" Daisy beckoned "I, Princess Platinum of the Unicorns, arrive with my sacred gift. A great diamond that my father gave to my mother on their wedding day which she later gave away to provide the poor with food during a great famine. It represents Equestrian Generosity. To be gifted unto the fabled foal"

"Behold!" Cloud Kicker announced "I, Private Pansy of the Pegasi, arrive with my sacred gift. A Celestine Matriarch, a beautiful and long-lived butterfly, which I brought home as a caterpillar and raised to adulthood. It represents Equestrian Kindness. To be gifted unto the fabled foal"

"Behold!" Roseluck rumbled "I, Commander Hurricane of the Pegasi, arrive with my sacred gift. The spirit of a mighty lightning storm, frozen in time by our ancient rainbow craft when it threatened Cloudsdale. It represents Equestrian Loyalty. To be gifted unto the fabled foal"

"Behold!" Berry Punch proclaimed "I, Smart Cookie of the Earth Ponies, arrive with my sacred gift. A great autumn solstice apple, preserved with earth pony alchemy by my mentor, Lady Cripps the Pink, that shines gold in the presence of good ponies and glows silver among those who would do the bearer harm. It represents Equestrian Honesty. To be gifted unto the fabled foal"

"Behold!" Lily trilled "I, Chancellor Puddinghead of the Earth Ponies, arrive with my sacred gift. Since this is a party, I bring a big happy balloon. The gas I was using to blow it up made me feel dizzy and my voice went really high-pitched and that made me laugh a lot. It represents Equestrian Laughter. To be gifted unto the HOLY FIRSTICORN SHE'S GIVING BIRTH!!!"

"No, Lily, the line is 'She's giving birth to the Holy Firsticorn', you dope!" Berry Punch snapped.

"No, no, no, she is actually giving birth! Now!" The Founders flung off various parts of their costumes and crowded round the barn entrance taking the sight of Derpy in the midst of labour and Carrot Top frantically trying to bring Written Script to his senses. All six of them started to fall into hysterics.

"The Horror! OH THE HORROR!"

The Mayor, watching this chaos ensue, smiled a little too sweetly at the audience.

"Would you excuse us for just one second, thank you"

Cantering over to the barn, she in turn started to lose her mind.

"What are you doing? We've got them in the soles of our hooves and you're-oh my Celestia!" She had caught sight of Derpy, her foal primed to emerge "Oh! My! Celestia! Not now! Quick, for goodness sake, get Nurse Redheart!" She exclaimed "Towels! We must have towels! Somepony get us some towels!"

"Who better to ask?" Aloe and Lotus, somewhat cleaner than how they had left the stage, appeared with a towering pile of towels. Lyra and Bonbon appeared behind them.

"Hey, everypony, panic averted. The fire won't spread" Lyra was wiping at her brow before she noticed the sight "How's the scene going? The audience are looking pretty...Oh no, this is ridiculous!"

"Oh my gosh, Derpy, are you okay?!" Bonbon handed the towels, one after the other, to Carrot Top "Take the towels! Take 'em, quick!"

"Thanks, girls, you're the best" Carrot Top laughed weakly "No hard feelings?"

The Spa Ponies shot her a look that said there most certainly were hard feelings.

Still, they'd save that sordid story for later. For now, it was all hooves on deck.

Golden Delicious, Apple Fritter and their assorted family seemed on top of things. Apparently, there were several occasions when farm-ponies were forced to give birth in their homestead. Everypony else did what they could to reassure the birthing mother. Nonetheless, Derpy was in a terrible state, heaving and screaming.

"DOCTOR!" Her cry was heart-rending, full of pain, as if betrayed "DOCTOR!"

Outside, Princess Celestia spun round and addressed the audience.

"Is there a doctor here?"

"Right here!" A brown hoof rose in the air, holding a bizarre wand-like device that emitted a blue glow and an electric hum as Doctor Whooves fought his way through the crowd. "Make way there, sorry, 'scuse me madam, thank you, sorry, oomph!" He tripped at the edge of the crowd, colliding into Fancy Pants. A tall slim alabaster mare helped him up.

"Are you alright, old chap?"

"Yeah, yeah, no worries. Love the bowtie. Bowties are cool"

"Thank you, Doctor. I've always thought so"

"I like the bowtie too, just saying" the slim mare said, blushing.

"Charmed. You're a very kind and, if you don't mind me saying, very pretty young mare"

"Th-thank you, Mr Fancy Pants...my name is Fleur"

"Can we save the flirting for later please?!" The Doctor snapped as he approached the barn "Now then..." He tugged at his scarf in anticipation as he swung open the barn door.

"Somepony called?"

"Doctor!" Tears ran down Derpy's cheeks but she smiled "You came for me! I knew you'd come! I knew it! Thank you! Thank you!"

"That's right, Derpy, I'm here for you. Always. Don't you worry" He looked round and rubbed his hooves casually.

"But first things first...who's having the foal?"

Derpy's friends all slowly pointed, slack-jawed, to the grey pegasus with the swollen belly, lying on her back, breathing heavily.

"Just checking. Alright, give me a sec" He rolled up his sleeves, positioned himself straight in front of Derpy, and held his hooves out in front of him, as if it were a bouncing ball that would exit between Derpy's legs. "Ready when you are"

"Oh sweet clopping Celestia, just kill me now!" Carrot Top screamed, throwing her hooves up high.

"I am not in the habit of killing, young mare...or...the other thing "

All heads spun to see the Princess towering over them, her head was low and her wings tucked in order to fit into the barn. Her voice, however, was serene and soothing as she craned her neck over to look Derpy in the eyes.

"Be calm, little one. Push, push. Come on everypony, give her a hoof"

The ponies all flocked to help her. Derpy wouldn't stop crying.

"It hurts...it really hurts, Princess!"

"I know, Derpy"

"Does that mean something's wrong?! I don't want it to be!"

"Do not worry, Derpy. There is nothing wrong, it's all very natural. It will be painful and perhaps quite frightening but that is why we are here for you"

"It's too early" the birthing mailpony wailed "Something's wrong, I know it!"

"Perhaps I may be of help" Celestia inched forward "I can perform some spells that could..."

"Princess..." The Doctor held up a hoof politely "Without meaning any offence, I think this is something we can get through ourselves. Your magic's alright for saving Equestria and guarding against monsters...but birthing a foal...that's something that not even alicorn magic can make easier. What Derpy needs is her friends looking out for her. And I think we can handle that"

"You may well be right, Doctor" Celestia nodded and stood back "You will be alright Derpy. You are in safe hooves. Do it for your foal"

Derpy nodded, mumbling like a nervous filly.

"Okay...okay...I can do this...I can do this but...please somepony be with me"

"Of course, Derpy. We're here for you" Berry Punch looked down guiltily "I'm so sorry. It was me and my stupid parties that got you into this"

"No, no, Berry, it's not...it's not your fault" Derpy clasped Berry Punch's hoof.

She smiled and spoke.

"Look, next time you get a contraction you just hang onto my hoof real tight, okay, grip it. Tight as you like"

Derpy did so as her face creased in horror.

"Oh it's coming!" she wailed.

"Okay"

"Here it comes!"

"Okay. Don't worry, Derpy, however much it OWOWOWOW YOU NAG YOU NAG YOU NAG!"

"Berry! Don't swear in front of the foal" the Doctor scolded.

"OH BUCK OFF YOU QUACK! IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING USEFUL, GRAB MY OTHER HOOF!"

"Well, alright. But I hardly think now's a good time for ring-a-ring-ARGH THIS IS THE WORST KIND OF PAIN!"

"NO IT BUCKING ISN'T!" Berry Punch screamed, red-faced.

"Calm down you two!" Carrot Top bent down and whispered to Derpy, massaging her pulsing belly "There we are. Just one more push now. I can see a head...geez, I hope that is a head!" she winced, examining the sight.

"Is that a little horn?"

"I have to say, these town plays really are very realistic" Fancy Pants said to his newfound admirer, the audience outside only able to hear the various screams, still under the impression that this was nothing more than very good theatre. "I never knew this Derpy had such a topping talent for acting. And audience participation, what jolly good fun. You never get this sort of thing in those stuffy old city theatres. Ooh, don't look now but here's that old blighter, Tirek"

Bulk Biceps strode, once more, onto stage, his army behind him.

"We have found the hiding place of the border-crossers, grand Warlord Tirek!" Raindrops screeched in a hammy griffin impression "They cannot stand against the might of our hordes!"

"YEAH!" He bellowed, hurling another bright red fireball pom-pom at the barn door "THESE PATHETIC PONIES CANNOT ESCAPE ME! AND I SEE THAT THE WORTHLESS FOUNDERS OF THIS CESSPIT YOU CALL EQUESTRIA ARE GATHERED! NOW MY CONQUEST OF ALL PONYKIND WILL BE FINISHED AS SOON AS IT STARTED! ONWARD! TO BA-"

"Bwawk!" His battle-cry was cut off as the strangest dragon Equestria had ever seen bounded into view and took out the entire nonplussed army with a swish of its tail. Thankfully they were standing right in front of the Apple Farm's hay bales which they landed safely upon, avoiding any injury.

"WHAT THE?!" It was a mystery whether Bulk Biceps was as surprised as he seemed or just a very good actor. Derpy had already proven a knack for acting so why not him?

"WHAT JUST HAPPENED?! WHO IS THAT?! WHAT IS THAT?!"

"That would be Crackle the Magic Dragon, friend of mine, we go way back" The mysterious stallion approached, straightened his scarf and stood before the Centaur Warlord feared across the world.

"Hello...I'm the Doctor...basically...run"

Tirek blinked, eyed the Doctor, eyed the dragon, eyed the Doctor again and fled the scene.

"I'LL BE BACK!" He yelled.

"Huh..." The Doctor said, raising one eyebrow "He kept his cool a lot better than the real thing...Don't you think so, love?"

"Bwawk!"

"Yeah, well, you know, I'd just come out the regenerator and all so I wasn't looking my best, then when those-OHGOSHDERPY!"

"Doctor!"

Instinctively, the Doctor rushed back inside the barn, slightly pushing Carrot Top aside to get a good luck at the birthing mare.

"You can do it, Derpy, you can do it! Do it for your foal! It's coming! Your foal's coming! One more push, Derpy, I know you can do it!"

"CAN I BE OF SERVICE?!" Those in the vicinity winced as Bulk Biceps appeared behind them.

"Appreciated but..." Colgate took in the sight of him "I'm not sure it's a great idea to have Tirek take care of Laurelore"

Bulk Biceps paused, glanced at the humungous horns he wore, removed them and smiled expectantly. Still painted crimson from head to hoof, he looked only slightly less intimidating.

Carrot Top sighed.

"Okay, but keep it quiet, there's enough screaming around here as it is. You can help wake Written Script up" Carrot Top instructed as her friends continued their bombardment of encouragement, desperate to see this night through.

Bulk Biceps meanwhile was set to apply the resuscitation technique. Fortunately the script-writer had opened his eyes and fought him off while he still had his ribs intact.

"Okay, okay, okay..." Derpy voice became a pained whisper "I can do it, I can do it, I can do it..." Her final scream, louder and longer than any she'd made thus far, was followed by another. But it wasn't the wail of a birthing mother.

It was the howling of a newborn foal.

"Oh...my...goodness" Carrot Top squeaked as she gently picked up a tiny little newborn filly, a small stub on its forehead with which unicorns were born.

"It's a filly, Derpy" she said, her voice wavering as she started crying tears of relief "It's a beautiful unicorn filly. It's a little small but it's voice sure works alright"

"C-can I see it?" Derpy's voice was little more than a sigh.

"Of course you can, Derpy, she's yours. She's your baby" The orange earth pony handed the screaming infant to the tired grey pegasus, who took in the sight, her lopsided eyes full of wonder and delight.

"I have a baby..." she whispered, her lips slowly rising to form the happiest smile her friends had ever seen on her "I'm a mummy..."

"Alright, where's the mess? I should have been called here hours ago!" Nurse Redheart pushed her way forward and applied some wet towels to Derpy's forehead, plus one to the groggy-looking Written Script getting up off the floor, and brought forth a full basin "Well done, Derpy. There might be some more pain for a while longer, but you have done very well. You and your foal are going to be just fine. Doctor, perhaps you'd like to give the little one her first bath"

"Me? Well alright" The Doctor picked up the foal, who was beginning to quiet down, and produced a rubber duck from his coat pocket "Always come prepared. Come on now little one, you beautiful little filly, yes, you are. No, this scarf is not old-fashioned"

"Is he speaking foal?" Cloud Kicker asked.

"Course I speak foal. And she says Derpy ought to have eaten more muffins. She wanted to be bigger"

There was some laughter from those beside him.

"What's her name?" Daisy asked.

Derpy thought, which had never been that easy for her, and listened to all present coo over her baby.

"Look at her. She's got her mother's mane" Colgate said, ruffling it slightly.

"And the little horn just here" Written Script chuckled lightly "She'll grow up to be a great unicorn, you'll see"

"I can't get over how small she is" Carrot Top chuckled "She's so dinky"

"Dinky..." Derpy said softly "That's her name...Dinky...Dinky Doo"

"That is a lovely name" Celestia stated, nodding sagely.

The newly-named foal, Dinky, burbled a little unintelligibly and finished with a giggle, in the midst of bathing.

The Doctor translated.

"Yes, she likes that name Dinky, although personally she prefers to be called Stormaggedon, Dark Lady of All"

"Now you're just being silly" Roseluck snapped.

"Always. What's the point of life if you can't be a little silly? That's a lesson Derpy taught me" She stood up and handed the foal to his dear muddle-headed pegasus friend "You're in good hooves, Dinky, no matter what anypony thinks"

Derpy lay there for what seemed like hours, gazing into Dinky's eyes which were just starting to open fully.

Two big golden-yellow eyes looking straight at her.

"She's...perfect" she murmured as all the fears and anxieties she'd had about allowing the foal to grow up the way she had, began to fade away "She's...normal"

"No, Derpy" the Doctor said, one hoof brushing against her neck "She's better than normal. She's special. Really special. Just like the Firsticorn...just like you"

As the two smiling pony's eyes met, the Mayor peeked outside. Instinctively, she removed her oversized wings and picked up the bright red pom-pom.

"Speaking of which, this might seem a little much, but Dinky might want to put these on"

The lanterns lit up around the barn as Mayor Mare, her mane messy and her glasses askew, smiled radiantly at the audience. No-one had noticed her missing wings or thought to point them out. Sonorous music was played on the cello by a graceful dark mare sitting just outside the barn.

"And there in a stable, two thousand years ago, all of Equestria bore witness to the miracle of the birth of Laurelore the Firsticorn, a very special...and very realistic...foal"

Dinky Doo wiggled her little hooves and burbled a short line of baby-talk. The audience erupted into applause. Nopony clapped louder than Princess Celestia and the Doctor as the ecstatic Derpy cradled her precious, perfect little foal in her arms, smiling like never before.

Celestia watched, struggling to stop herself crying with joy. It was so very ironic. She'd come down to Ponyville for a few moments away from her duties. Yet she had done her duty here, better than she ever remembered in Canterlot. She had regretted not being there for Derpy before. Now she had been here when she most needed it, offering little more than care and encouragement yet here presence been so significant to all those involved.

She had truly done her duty this night.

The Doctor looked out at the crowd.

It had been centuries since he'd regenerated as a pony...somehow...and fled his own home, travelling alone in a mysterious blue box.

He'd travelled across Equestria and many worlds like and unlike it.

He'd met every famous name that appeared in the history books and discovered things those books had never put down.

He'd faced creatures others didn't know existed and beings who were feared by all who knew their names.

But this was new.

Helping a pony give birth. Giving her the joy of being a parent.

And knowing that same joy.

It felt right.

This felt like where he needed to be.

Epilogue

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