The Ballad of Midnight Edge

Several weeks passed, Midnight Edge and Babs Seed kept in touch by sending letters until Babs Seed came up with a plan during the sixth week. Her plan was simple, but it required an accomplice. There were ponies who knew about their relationship already and they would help with utmost care and secrecy, the ponies who knew were the Cutie Mark Crusaders, Babs Seed's friends, who knew about her feelings for Midnight Edge even before he did and took just a few weeks to find out they were already dating. Babs Seed gave them a simple task from very early, create a cover for their relationship, somehow they understood why it was kept in secret and decided to do their best to help. With her friends as excuse she would travel every week to Ponyville for the weekend, and some of those weeks she would spend little time with her friends, spending the rest of the weekend with her lover. Her strategy was nearly perfect, and whatever holes it had would be covered by her extremely creative friends who had another reason to help, they noticed Midnight Edge was uneasy when he mentioned his cutie mark, and wanted to help with that. For a while the plan worked perfectly, but Midnight Edge was troubled by doubt from the beginning, to him the more participants the higher the chance of failure became, eventually they would get caught.

...

Finally after weeks of being followed by the Crusaders, Midnight Edge accepted their help. He was still reluctant since he had to tell them his story, but what he feared the most was facing his true fear, the loss of his freedom, being tied to fate like a puppet. Talking to those who helped ponies find their place was not precisely the best way to get rid of his shackles.

"To be honest, my cutie mark is not a problem. The problem is having a destiny."

"Why would that be a problem?" Scootaloo inquired not understanding his words. "Would you rather have no destiny at all?"

"No. It is not that. I don't want to be forced to do anything. I want to be free. I don't want a sword on my haunches to tell me who I am and what I should do. I don't want to be a one trick pony."

"I think you are getting the whole cutie mark thing wrong." Apple Bloom was quick to speak her mind over the matter. "Your cutie mark won't force you to do anything. It's part of who you are."

"Right! And it will never make you do something you don't like." Sweetie Belle continued where her friend left off. "It will tell you what you are good at, or what you like the most, but never make you be somepony you can't be.

"That's right! Your cutie mark won't change you!" Scootaloo tried to cheer him up.

"But that won't help me. Everypony has a place, everypony has a destiny, something they will do, something they are meant to do. They find a purpose in life and it marks them forever. I don't want that. I don't want a purpose, I don't need it. All I want is to be free. All I want is to be myself! – Midnight Edge could not understand those fillies. How could they feel such a thing was right. Being branded forever with a fate some sort of cosmic force picked for you."

"But that's what your cutie mark means. It represents those things that make you feel good. And you always feel good when you are yourself." Apple Bloom tried to reason with the stallion fearing he would break to tears. It would not be the first time she would see a grown up stallion cry over frustration because of a misunderstood cutie mark. "Some ponies get a cutie mark for being lazy or silly. It's not a good thing, but that's who they are."

"Some ponies don't understand what their cutie mark means. And that's why we help them." Scootaloo said with an earnest smile. "Because when they don't know what their cutie mark means they end up doing things that don't make them happy. So, what makes you happy?"

"I don't know. I really don't know. I mean, there are many things that make me feel happy. But none of them has anything to do with my cutie mark. I just know I hate that feeling of having a destiny chosen by something other than myself. I hate the idea of predestination, of being a character in a play or a book acting at the whims of some unseen force, some dude behind a typewriter or some tentacled monster under the sea."

Sweetie Belle gathered their friends to speak in private about their current case. A pony who hated his cutie mark because it made him feel destined to something. They had never seen such a thing before. All the ponies they helped seemed to want a destiny, this one wanted nothing. "How are we going to help him? He doesn't seem to want anything at all." Sweetie Belle looked at her friends expecting a suggestion.

Apple Bloom was the first to answer. "Well. He wants something. He wants to be free. He is scared of losing that because of his cutie mark. Maybe he thinks it means something he doesn't like." Apple Bloom knew what it felt like, to be insecure about one's cutie mark and wanting to get rid of it. But that was not going to happen, all ponies had a cutie mark, all ponies had a calling.

Scootaloo was not sure they could find an answer soon. "But he won't settle for anything at all. I don't think we can help him. We help ponies find their calling, but he keeps running from it." The solution seemed distant, it was a battle between a pony's calling and his fear of predestination.

After a few minutes of thoughtful contemplation they finally came up with an idea. "That's it! You are an adventurer, right?" Scootaloo asked knowing the answer.

"Yes. But that makes no difference. What does that mean? That is my destiny? I can't change my mind and become a baker? So what if I decide to become a baker? Would mister underwater tentacles pull my strings and call me back to the stage? That is not good enough for me. I could figure that myself."

"You are just like Trouble Shoes. You are taking your cutie mark wrong." Apple Bloom responded. "You think your cutie mark makes you do something. But it is what you do that makes your cutie mark be. You like going on adventures, when you are looking for new things, fighting timber wolves, or looking for answers, you feel happy. Don't you?"

"Yes. That doesn't mean I want to do that all the time. Sometimes I just want to relax and sit in a comfortable armchair to read a book or draw something."

"And we don't always help ponies with their cutie marks. We are just good at it." Sweetie Belle tried to lead him to find the answer by himself.

"I still don't get the point of having a destiny. Why would I want a cutie mark then? I don't need a destiny, I make my own destiny."

"We all do. That's what we are trying to tell you!" Apple Bloom was nearly losing her patience. Midnight Edge was reluctant to understand what he wanted to do. "Our cutie marks just remind us what we like to do the most. It never meant you can't do what you want. It just reminds you what you want to do. So what is it?"

"Being free? But that makes no sense? What would a sword have to do with that?"

Scootaloo decided to complete the puzzle since Midnight Edge was too focused on a single part to see the big picture. "Because you feel free when you go on adventures. You are an adventurer because you feel free when you do that, not because somepony else wants you to."

"Then why do I feel so troubled? Shouldn't I feel complete and happy with that? But I am always worried about that multiple eyed, plated, reality bending horror pulling the strings."

"Because you are over thinking." Scootaloo continued, they were not going to fail him even if that meant joining one of his dangerous travels to prove their point.

Of course they hoped that wouldn't happen, and probably it wouldn't. "You think too much about that reality changing whatever..."

Sweetie Belle interrupted comically "He said reality bending."

After being interrupted, Scootaloo continued. "Whatever. It makes no sense. And that's why you feel that. Because you don't trust in your cutie mark. So you don't trust in yourself, and you end up thinking about something that just isn't there. When did you start to fear that?"

Midnight Edge responded. "I don't want to go with the whole story. But I used to end up in fights with other ponies. And I felt it had to do with my cutie mark. I did not want that to be my destiny."

Apple Bloom interfered before he began to dwell into bitter memories. "But you didn't get your cutie mark that way, did you?"

"Not exactly." Midnight Edge continued with his story. "I got my cutie mark because I helped my friend Jacques. He got in trouble with some bullies, they stole something important to him. So I went and got his valuables back and then fought every single bully until I defeated their “boss”. Ever since then I began to think it was because I fought that I had that cutie mark. I learned a few spells that day too."

"Did you ever learn any spell for something other than fighting?" Sweetie belle asked, and the response seemed almost predictable to the Crusaders.

"Yes. I learned many spells from other things later. Finding stray cats, my first camping night, finding parts for a vehicle."

Apple Bloom interrupted him before he went on listing all his five years of adventures. "That's because adventurers do that. They embark on quests, everypony knows that. That's how you got your cutie mark. Not for fighting bullies, but because you went on a quest to help your friend. You never give up, adventurers never do. That's why it is a sword. Not because you pick fights, but because you never give up, and that makes you a good adventurer."

Midnight Edge was surprised, he still felt the weight of his fear, but it felt as if it was nothing but doubt now and not a certain looming horror a step away from becoming the realization of his whole life being just the tapping of keys of some unseen entity on a typewriter, now he felt more freedom, as if the writer was more of a witness narrating for himself and not creating his future. "Could it be that simple? It makes sense. It make more sense than anything else. I don't give up, I couldn't even give up on letting you get your way. And you are wrong. It is not because I am an adventurer. That is why I rejected that over and over again. It is because I don't give up. You helped me realize that, but I had to find it myself. Thank you. I think you have proven your words right by doing exactly what you feel you want to do and you are good at. I haven't found my place, but I don't need one. Because as long as I don't give up, that is who I am."

Midnight Edge left without even saying goodbye, completely lost in his own contemplation of a new future ahead without the weight of doubt on his back. "Did we help him?" Sweetie Belle looked confused, they reached their goal, but it felt as if somehow they didn't.

"Another satisfied customer Sweetie Belle. We helped him find his calling after all, not the way we expected, but we did it." Scootaloo smiled, a bit surprised by how simple the answer was. "Babs was right. He needed our help."

...

"All right Babs, I talked to your friends. I hope you keep up your promise and avoid involving them in this from now on." Midnight Edge approached to a table at Sugar Cube Corner. Babs Seed was eating a cupcake. They agreed to meet there after Midnight Edge spoke to the Cutie Mark Crusaders, he took longer than expected.

"Fine. I could use their help in an emergency, but I will find another way to keep my cover. We shouldn't need one. So, how did it go?"

"You were right. I did not expect them to help me, but they did it. I no longer feel that weight on me." His words displayed relief, and so did his face, he did not have his usual frown, it might return later, but not because of concern, not anymore. "I am finally free."

"I knew they would help you." Babs Seed took a bite from the cupcake and continued. "All that “all mighty monster controlling your life” thing was just your imagination. Now you won't worry about those silly things anymore."

Midnight Edge took a seat to her left and placed his hoof on hers. "It took four fillies to heal a wound not even experienced guides could ease. Your friends are truly good at helping others, and you are quite clever. Maybe you are “cut” for adventuring after all."

"Finally! Where are we going first?" Babs Seed was extremely excited, she waited so long to join Midnight Edge on a real adventure.

"Patience my dear, your education goes first."

Midnight Edge replied, expecting her to display a disappointed look, instead he saw a bright in her green eyes, she came up with an idea, soon she spoke her mind. "Right, school. Maybe you could go to Manehattan soon. You say you are an adventure magnet. So, if I can't go to wherever your next adventure is, you could take it to where I am." The idea seemed great, but for the moment they had planned a date, and Midnight Edge was in the mood to focus on the present.

...