Equestria Girls: Proper Hair Care
Equestria Girls: Proper Hair Care
Twilight hummed as she washed her hands in Sunset’s bathroom. After drying her hands on a nearby towel, she spotted something in the shower that caught her eye. She adjusted her glasses a bit as she reached for a plastic bottle shaped and colored like a strip of bacon with a lid on it. She gave it a curious look and thought about just putting it back and leaving the subject alone but as always her thirst for knowledge was just too great. She took the bottle with her as she walked back into the living room where Sunset was waiting for her on the couch.
“Hey Sunset?” she asked gently.
“Hmm?” Sunset asked back through a mouthful of popcorn as she tilted her head towards her.
“What’s this?” Twilight asked again as she held out the bottle towards her girlfriend.
Sunset’s eyes widened in shock and she almost dropped the bowl of popcorn in her hands. Thankfully she retained enough of her senses to set it gently on the coffee table then let out a loud, irritated groan as she planted her face in her palm.
“I can’t believe I forgot to put that up before you came over!” she muttered in a mortified voice.
“Sooo...what is it?” Twilight repeated as she sat down next to Sunset and placed the container on the table.
“It’s bacon scented shampoo,” Sunset explained in a dull, almost defeated voice.
“Oh,” the purple skinned girl replied.
It actually seemed rather obvious at that point. But that led to a greater question.
“Why would someone make that?” she wondered.
“Why does anyone make anything with bacon in this world?!” Sunset erupted as she jumped out of her seat. “Seriously why are people so obsessed with that...that...STUFF!”
She let out an exasperated sigh at the end of her small tirade then looked down to see Twilight pressed against the corner of the couch in fear. Sunset’s eyes widened in horror and she quickly sat down and pulled her girlfriend into a close, comforting hug.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to yell at you,” she said softly.
“It’s okay,” Twilight insisted as she pulled back from the hug. “I was just startled at how...passionate you are about the subject.” She readjusted her glasses a bit. “Although now that I think about it, it’s not that big of a surprise. If ponies are an sentient species in your world then I’m assuming pigs are as well.”
“Kinda,” Sunset remarked. “It’s...complicated. But yes, the point is there are smart pigs out there and we treat them with respect. So seeing them cut up into little, greasy strips that people just shove into their mouths...” she shuddered.
“I’m guessing that’s why you’re a vegetarian too.”
Sunset nodded.
“Well that makes sense. Sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you by making you think of slaughtered animals,” Twilight apologized.
“It’s not just that,” Sunset sighed. “There’s the other thing too.”
“Other thing?”
In response, Sunset just flicked a bit of her hair with the back of her left hand. Twilight tilted her head in confusion of the action.
“Your hair? What about it?” she asked.
The other girl narrowed her eyes at her in suspicion.
“Are you trying to make me feel better, making a joke or do you really just not get it?” she asked.
“Um...the third one?” Twilight asked and prepared herself for another blowout.
Instead she was greeted with a relaxed smile and soft laugh from her girlfriend.
“Oh Celestia, you’re adorable,” she joked but then sighed as her expression fell a bit. “The other thing is that my hair looks like bacon.”
Twilight quirked an eyebrow then adjusted her glasses again and looked her girlfriend’s two toned hair more intently. The way the blonde streaks flowed in and out of the main red parts. As she followed the patterns it was like she was truly seeing for the first time and it did indeed remind her of the food product.
“Huh. It does resemble bacon,” she noted.
“Yeah. Trust me, I know!” Sunset sneered as she crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back against the couch. “Apparently when I was my...not so nice self, it was a bit of a joke the other students would tell each other behind my back. Then after the Fall Formal and my...change of attitude let’s say, they were all too happy to say it to my face. Even the others got in on it! Heck it took me a month to convince Pinkie my hair wasn’t made of bacon!” She let another annoyed sigh but relaxed a bit. “Thankfully it’s pretty much died down at this point.”
“But then...” Twilight started and motioned to the bottle.
“Oh, that?” she asked as she nudged it with her bare foot. “That was Rainbow Dash’s idea of a joke. A ‘Welcome to the Rainbooms’ kind of ribbing gag. Since I was still coming to terms with actually being friends with them I didn’t want to just throw it out. So I smiled and nodded and then took it home and put it somewhere to forget about it.”
“Then what was it doing in your shower?” the bespectacled girl asked.
She was again met with a long sigh that sounded like air leaving a tire. A sound that perfectly matched Sunset’s further sinking into the couch.
“Because I ran out of my actual shampoo awhile ago and I haven’t been able to make it to the store yet to pick up more. So I’ve just been using...that!” she shot the bottle a contemptuous glare.
“So then you’ve been using bacon scented shampoo on your hair for awhile now?” Twilight surmised.
“Unfortunately,” the other girl muttered.
“Oh. Oh!” Twilight beamed and then started laughing.
This time it was Sunset’s turn to quirk an eyebrow at her.
“And just what is so funny?” she pressed.
“Oh it’s nothing,” the purple girl waved off. “I’m just relieved to finally have that answered!”
“Have what answered?”
“I’ve been smelling bacon for weeks now. At first I thought it was just my imagination or being to close to the cafeteria or residue from Spike’s dog treats. But then I kept smelling it and it was getting stronger! I was afraid I was developing a brain tumor or something! But it turns out it’s just your shampoo!”
“Well I’m glad my eternal suffering could amuse you so much,” Sunset muttered as she leaned back again and pouted.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” Twilight said as she rested against Sunset’s arm. “I’m just relieved there’s nothing wrong with me.”
Sunset picked up her arm and wrapped it around Twilight’s shoulders so she could hold her closer to her.
“So am I,” she said softly and kissed the other girl’s forehead. “Just try to lay off the bacon talk, please?”
“Of course,” she agreed but then quickly frowned. “Although...”
“What?”
“Well now that I notice it and I’m this close to your hair...I really want some bacon now,” she confessed sheepishly.
Sunset just let out exhausted groan and laid her head on the back of the couch in complete and utter defeat.
The End.
Author's Note
So this is just a little bit of nonsense that’s been floating around in my head for a bit now. Of course it was spurned on by all those “bacon hair” jokes that we love to tell about Sunset. I’m not sure if bacon scented shampoo is a REAL product but...I wouldn’t be surprised if it was. I know bacon scented soap exists. Because OF COURSE it does! I mean I love bacon as much as the next guy but we ARE a bit obsessed with it. Especially the Internet here!
Alright, rant over. Hope you enjoyed this bit of bacon flavored fluff.
