Sisters and Shampoo

by TotallyNotCelly

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna, Comedy
Length: 1002

Celestia considers taking a day off. She has a vivid "imagination."

The great Princess Celestia questions her existence due to a bottle of shampoo. With perhaps a little help from a very powerful moon mare.
A blend of modernist-y internal monologue and sisterly spatting, this is just something I threw together at school today to take my mind off of some things. See that? I used two different forms of "some thing" in the same sentence and you didn't even notice! Ah, just read the story already. It'll take you like a minute~

Published 2016-10-11 04:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-10-11 04:20:01 UTC

Sisters and Shampoo

Upon my fifteenth-or-so attempt at brushing my mane this morning, I was struck with a curious thought—what’s preventing me from just…taking a day off? Is it my sense of duty? Certainly not—I wouldn’t even be considering this if that were the case, and besides, haven’t all these unbroken years earned me a single day of down time? Is it some sense of inordinate protectiveness, some unwarranted belief that something would go wrong if He wasn’t placed into orbit by my gentle caress? Perhaps…but surely He’d be fine in the care of Luna for just one day.

Suddenly I heard a steady rapping on the washroom door, followed by the muffled voice of my sister: “Hey Tia, I’m sorry, I know you told me not to come in here, but I’m out of shampoo. Do you think I could—”

Intent on a bit of teasing, I released an overly-loud, exasperated sigh and teleported my shampoo out the door, right in front of her face. The distinct thunk of the bottle hitting the floor confirmed that she had not been able to catch it in time. I stifled a giggle.

“Really, Tia? First the shirking of your duties and now this? What’s gotten into you?”

“The shirking of my…what!?” In an instant I was outside the room, behind my sister, mane still grossly-unkempt.

“Oh, don’t even give me that. But don’t worry, your precious little baby was more than happy to experience my care for a day.” She topped her insolence off with a snide grin. “Now, unless you plan on taking on my shift, I’ve got a bath to take and a Moon to raise.” She picked up the shampoo bottle and was gone in a blinding blue flash.

I was dumbstruck. I took a day off and didn't even realize it? No...this can't be! I slowly turned around and closed my eyes as I walked to my window, not wanting to see what I somehow knew would be there. Deciding that it would be best to just get the pain of defeat over with, I drew my curtains open so quickly that they caused an audible whoosh. The pain did not stop, but my heart certainly did. I don’t know how long I stood with my jaw wide open, staring at the blatantly obvious sunset. How was this possible? My body clock is flawless! I wouldn’t sleep in all day! Surely this has to be a joke! But if I missed a whole day, that means…

I bolted out of my bedroom door, galloping down the halls in a distinctly un-princess-like manner past dozens of royal guards who were undoubtedly holding in their laughter at their princess’ “morning appearance.” I didn’t particularly care at the moment. I bucked my office door open, almost knocking it off its hinges, and my eyes were greeted by acres of unsigned papers—stack after stack of sealed documents placed in front of my desk in a line leading up to almost the door itself. I don’t fill out this much paperwork in a single day, do I?! I fought my way through the sea of paper to my desk, to discover to my great horror that my memo pad was completely full. I had apparently missed two international relations briefings and three domestic policy decisions, and five critical royal decrees were set to expire, all today. But each was signed off on by one “Luna.” I…I slept in all day and Luna did all of my work? No…she couldn’t! I shuffled to the front of my desk to see that every neat little stack of documents was signed by my sister—she really did do everything! She’s…she’s amazing! I couldn’t even do this much in one day! I’m…not needed here after all, am I? But isn’t that a good thing? Why does it make me feel so…useless though? I thought this was what I wanted! This is terrible! I don’t want a day off, I don’t! I’ll never take a day off!

I turned around and collapsed backwards onto several stacks, extending my wings to soften the fall, but they couldn’t soften the feelings of inadequacy pounding on my bones and eating away at my heart. Suddenly, a single piece of paper landed opportunely on the very tip of my muzzle, perhaps thrown off my desk and into the air by my sudden descent into my papery prison. I didn’t plan on caring about it, until I absentmindedly noticed what was written on the sheet: words that shook me to my very core, words which I shudder to even think about: “Wake up and raise your stupid sun, you big lazy oaf.”

The next thing I knew, I was lying upside-down on top of my outstretched right wing in a crumpled heap on my washroom floor, my sister triumphantly giggling in the corner as the aura around her horn faded.

“Have a nice dream, sister? After you ever-so-gently passed me your shampoo bottle, I could have sworn I heard you collapse in here, completely overcome by a strange and sudden sleepiness. Who knows what could have happened?” She broke out into a few seconds of snorting laughter at this line. I didn’t see what was so funny. She continued: “So I just helped myself in; I hope you don’t mind. I just had to make sure big sis was taken care of in her poor, defenseless slumbering state.” She laughed some more, and then raised her left foreleg up to check an imaginary watch. “Oh my! You best get going now, sleepy! You’re 10 minutes behind schedule already!”

For the first time in who knows how many years, I was speechless. I quietly righted myself, stood up, folded in my wing, and blankly sauntered out to my balcony to raise the Sun, my mane and now tail still a mess. That was the last time I ever considered taking a day off, and certainly the last time I ever teased Luna in the morning.