Twilight was sitting in her small laboratory in the cellar of her castle, and was carefully concentrating on the spell she was working on while Spike took notes and Starlight Glimmer watched carefully.
"Twilight, are you sure that you should be doing this?" Starlight said with a frown. "I mean, I really don't want to have to inform everypony if you make a mistake and-"
"Quiet please," Twilight said with an annoyed look on her face before giving her student the best smile she could. "Sorry, but this is very delicate work." The other two nodded and stayed silent as Twilight took a sip of her coffee. "Now, if I add just a little bit of negative energy into the mix, this could either be one of the biggest breakthroughs in magic-chemical relations, or blow up my lab."
Spike wrote down what Twilight said, then looked at the small fortress of pillows and chicken wire that he had built around himself and Starlight to protect themselves with. I hope that if it does explode my fort will hold up, he thought to himself.
Twilight's horn glow shifted slightly, and the spell reacted with the chemicals in a rather predictable manner. The small test tube exploded in a small, mostly harmless fireball that was more flash than bang, leaving Twilight slightly singed looking. Starlight, who was in fact quite protected from the blast along with Spike, was first to rush out to check on her teacher. "Twilight! Are you okay?"
Twilight didn't move from her shocked expression for a second or two before letting a calm look cross over her features. "Yes, I am fine, just fine. It was just a failure, it's all okay."
"Twilight," Starlight said tentatively, I'm sorry that your experiment failed and," Twilight stopped her by holding up a hoof, accidentally letting Starlight's gaze be directed at Spike that had thrown a claw into his face, letting Starlight know that by speaking, she'd made a mistake.
Spike quietly made his exit from the lab, knowing he didn't wish to be there for what was coming next, as Twilight sighed and said, "Now Sunset,"
"Starlight," she corrected for the princess.
"Starlight," Twilight said with a nod. "We ponies of science and magic must face our failures, as with our successes, with quiet, dignity, and grace." She then bowed her head in reverence of her failure, and Starlight did the same.
The silence lasted for all of three seconds before Twilight began to magically choke the rag doll that was laying on the table, which had nothing to do with the spell whatsoever, was now the target of Twilight's rage for being at the wrong place, in an inconvenient time. "You rotten little rag doll! You ruined it all! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!"
Many tears and a few hours later, the trio of castle dwellers were all sitting around the kitchen table, eating scones and having a laugh about it all now that it was over. "Well, at least that is all over now," Spike said through a mouthful of scone.
Twilight nodded and took a sip from her coffee with an easy going grin. "Yeah, I did let the idea get a bit out of hoof, but one failure isn't so bad," she paused for a moment to sip from her drink before saying, "In fact, I can't think of the last time I had a failure before this."
"Well," Spike said as he scratched the back of his head. "The last time I think you failed in anything, other than forgetting to change the paper in the bathroom, was back when we were in the library. You know, when you were still a unicorn."
Twilight sat and thought about it for a few moments before sipping on her drink again. "Maybe," she said with a shrug. After that the conversation went on to how the spell could be improved on, and further tweaking to the spell that could help.
The conversation eventually did what all conversations do, and strayed from the original subject, and began to morph into other spells, past successes, and future dreams. "And after I save the city, Equestria will see that I am the hero that they need, but not the hero they deserve, but somepony would see that I am someone for them, and she'd maybe let me date her after that, I guess?" Spike flat lined at the end, and managed to both make an excellent point, and drive home the fact that he had no idea what he actually wanted in his future.
"Well Spike," Starlight said with an awkward smile. "I see you have read a lot of comic books." Spike nodded as with a smile, taking what she had said as a complement and soaking it up. Starlight nudged the scone on her plate for a moment or two before sighing. "Well, I don't know what I want any more," she said with a frown. "I used to want to, well, you know, rule over ponies with an iron hoof and micromanage every aspect of their lives and all that but, well, you know how that went."
Spike and Twilight nodded in agreement before Starlight continued, "I suppose that all I want for my future, is to have a good life with a few good friends by my side." She used her magic to pick off a piece of her scone and eat it before suddenly growing more cheerful. "Well, enough from me, what about you Twilight?"
"Me?" Twilight blinked, taken aback from the question, despite that the conversation had been here for a while. "Well, um," she thought about it before shrugging with her wings. "I suppose that like anypony else, I would like to leave behind a good legacy," she paused to think for a few more moments before continuing. "My small contributions to magic, my friendship studies, you know, those things."
The three sat in silence for a few moments before Spike yawned, the two mares chuckled slightly as Twilight picked up Spike with her magic. "Well, I guess it is rather late, shall we call it a night?" Starlight nodded in agreement, and they went their separate ways for the night.
Silence was the soundtrack for the evening as she set off to bed. The staccato of her own hooves echoing back from the crystalline walls being the only thing to hear besides the nothingness around her. "Hey, Twilight?" Spike called from outside his room.
"Yes Spike," Twilight replied in a soft, exhausted tone. "What is it?"
"I just," he paused, unsure of where to go on before his face split into a yawn. "Sorry, I just want to know if you're going to be alright."
Twilight blinked in confusion before giving a soft smile. "I'm touched, but why are you so worried about me?"
"Well," Spike began as he exited his room some more. "When Starlight directed the question at you earlier, you didn't give her a real answer, I mean, I remember how you used to dream of all kinds of different things before you became a princess. What gives?"
Twilight's face dropped slightly for a fraction of a second, but quickly recovered before she answered. "Oh, well, you know," she answered cheerfully.
"No," Spike deadpanned. "I don't."
Twilight stood for a few moments unsure of how to answer, a small sigh escaped her in defeat. "It doesn't really matter anymore Spike, just, let's go to sleep now okay?" She gave off a little smile before adding, "Maybe I'll explain it when you're a little older."
Spike hated that answer, and gave off a grunt of annoyance before giving his response. "Well alright, if that's how you wanna be." He turned back to his door and gave a wave behind him. "Goodnight Twilight."
"Sleep well Spike," they both then shut their doors, and retired for the night.
Twilight however, did not go to bed. Instead she raised the flame on her small lamp by her desk and sat down. There, she sat in silence for a few moments, not quite feeling sad enough to cry, but she didn't really feel quite happy either. Instead she felt a sort of malaise washing over her, overwhelming her need for sleep and instead needing time to think over.
Where did it all go anyway? she wondered to herself. I suppose it really doesn't matter now, after all, doesn't everypony wish they were a princess?
She used her magic to summon a book from the shelves across the room from her, and began to flip through it. Her own writing zoomed past her eyes as she looked at page after page of past entries. A few words popped out at her like, Adviser, and, Mage, Wizard, Scientist, but now they didn't really mean much to her. There was a picture of herself that fell out from between the pages, and she quickly scooped it up in her magic glow to hastily stuff it back where it belonged.
Twilight wasn't quite sure what to do with herself, frustrated, and unsure how to feel about this, she put the book down on the desk and slumped into her chair. A few dead dreams, so what? she thought to herself. It doesn't matter, this is far better, I've been blessed with more than I ever imagined.
Still, she was really only halfway convinced, but it seemed good enough for her to decide to go on and head for sleep. It will be fine, come morning you'll be able to move on. And so she lay in bed, frustrated with a restless mind that wouldn't stop pestering her with questions from the past, irrelevant to her needs, and caring less for her wants. But finally, the silent darkness won, and sleep took over Twilight Sparkle.
