Eternal Reverie

by Handsome Masquerade 1990

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Romance, Tragedy, Random, Discord, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Sad, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2275

Discord recounts the endlessness of being truly immortal

Immortal. Most beings don't truly know what that means. Eternity is another one of those funny words that mortals use to try and describe something they haven't the faintest concept of. I know it is near impossible for you mortals to comprehend but i shall do my best to explain.

Published 2016-10-17 14:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-11-03 05:51:35 UTC

Neither Created, Nor Destroyed (Prologue)

Eternity and immortality. Hmmmmmm.... where should I start? Well i suppose the easiest place would be at YOUR beginning. This universe was created... well, ahead in a linear progression sense than most of the ones we've "helped". Mostly it was due to a bet. I may have been a bit overconfident in my abilities. Wait. My bad, I should probably tell you what, and whom, I'm referring to. You see I'm not the only god that exists. Since, well ever, it has been myself and a wonderful and annoying goddess by the name of Trinity. She is the yang to my yin, the light to my dark, order to my chaos. The bid was that a species of three raced quadrupeds would be able to imprison me. I'll bet you can guess who won. As I stated before I may have helped, uhm, stack the deck against myself a bit. The elements of harmony were the result of a merging of our power.

Oh this wasn't the first time I had lost a wager to that woman. My mood was a bit soured by my stay in captivity but I did thoroughly enjoy the antics i played after. Trinity, of course had to go play all powerful somewhere else during this time period, only hanging around long enough to see me turned to stone. I'd spank her later for that of course, the petrification being some of her magic and not mine. Oh the things that will come of this romp should be spectacular and.... I feel as though i'm getting a bit off track.

The thing about eternity is that ponies (or any life) think of it as still having a beginning and an eventual end. Let me correct that thought process here and now. Eternity encompasses any and all universes, timelines, realities, multiverses.... you get the idea. All of those things could crumble and fall to dust, and indeed they do, and eternity marches on. Pretend that a universe from beginning to end is the life of a bee. Now compare that to the life span of.... oh I don't know, Celestia. You have now only comprehended a blink of my true eyes. Such lengths of time a paltry to me. Though i will say that Celestia does have some.... attractive attributes. Though i will say that as far as "gods" go she isn't the most beautiful one i have helped create. What? I have lived for eons. I've been with beings that would make even Celestia blanche.

My ever present companion has scorned me a plethora of occasions for my taste in "flings". She is such the jealous one. Ever since William Shakespeare she has fancied romance. I will say my relationship with Trinity is hard to put into words. Perhaps some comparisons would help. We are as an immortal married couple, rivals, best friends, enemies, and fiery lovers all wrapped up into one. Though that's not entirely accurate either. Honestly, I don't really need to explain it to the likes of you. It's not like you will be around for long....

Bringing me right back around to immortality. Being immortal does have its limitations of sorts. I have been known to take power naps and sleep for what translates to several generations in regards to you equines. My perspective on many things is that of disinterest. After all, why take interest in something that will be gone after i blink. This in no way means that i have no emotions, though they are different but similar to those which you feel. Attachments are non-existent or fleeting at best. Anger is well more akin to annoyance by pony standards. Love is simply laughable, though apparently i got quite close once. A yellow pegasus by the name of Fluttershy, though you probably know her better as the Element of Kindness. She was...... hold on, i lost myself again. I was about to tell you all about sadness. It probably feels similar to complacency. I'm rambling again. The point is my existence is quite different than yours. I create and destroy. Both disturb the stillness of silence.

If every single second of your life was a rung on a ladder, that is how many universes will come and go and I will still exist. It's all so....... terribly lonely. Even with Trinity by my side, it..... hurts. I will never grow old, never spawn offspring, never truly love.... I don't..... I have always held that as long as I can play and tinker with the lives of mortals that i could go on. I..... I can't do this anymore. I resign myself to solitude, be it in a prison of stone or simply wandering the infinite dimensions.

What? Why so shocked? Never thought that Discord, the all powerful spirit of chaos could feel this way? Could become miserable? No of course you can't empathize with me. You're only a pony, what could you possibly know of the pain I feel? I lied before when I said I have never loved. Would you like to know how many times I have loved and been loved only for them to be gone, right before my eyes? 72,629. Quite the number, isn't it? And those are the ones i stayed with until their end. And in all that time not an offspring to speak of. I have watched the passing of time, the rise and fall of empires, and even genocide. I have watched loved one perish, knowing there was nothing I could really do for them. Sure I could have granted a few "limited" immortality, but the end of their universe would have ended them as well. I could make planets out of the number of books I could write about all the tragedy I have seen. Yes, I think I shall. I have wanted to write a book to have a physical copy of my memories. I do have a near infinite number of stories to tell. Ohhhhh this is going to be such fun, all me talking about me. One of my favorite pastimes, and I know the perfect story to begin with. It all started.....

First Atempts are Sloppy.

A single universe has many parts. It doesn't even cross the mind of most beings. For starters you have matter. That has to be made up of something, you know. There are always sets of laws that govern them, like lines of computer code. If block A touches block B create block C. Oh that's right, you ponies don't have computers. One of the many issues with running more than a single universe at a time is that you tend to loose track of what is and what is not in each respectively. Pony example.... Ah, it's like baking. If A is dough and B is yeast and you add and let it... Screw it, you get the idea. You can't forget about time either, it pains me to say. A sense of "order" and linear progression is vital. I still remember my first planned attempt.

"Do you think we could do it?" Trinity asked, her corporeal red eyes entreating me for an answer.

I looked her up and down. She was in her draconian form, she had been quite impressed with them. Her lavender scales glistened as she stretched her strong wings. The wings themselves were made of a thick membrane of pink tinted skin. A row of spines as sharp as claws lined her back leading down to a triangular tail head. Her actual head was... if i had to choose a shape i would have to say, an isosceles tetrahedron if it wasn't soooo smooth. She adorned six long horns extending backwards from her head.

"Sorry dearest, that form is not really doing anything for me," I winked at her, my words dripping with sarcasm.

"What?!?!" she exclaimed. She was caught quite off guard. Her flustered face turned a lovely shade of ruby as she realized how she had misspoken. "NO! That is not what I meant. I meant create a universe on purpose."

My face hardened and my claw swung to my non existent hip, "Now why would I want to do a silly thing like that? Sounds like a lot of effort and for what?" I spat at her dryly.

She moved into a sitting position. She looked at me with a toothy grin, more like daggers than teeth. "I'm serious Discord. Do you think it's possible?" Trinity giggled, obviously at my vexation.

I removed my head and placed it in my paw, scratching it with my claw. "Hmmmmm, well I don't see why not. We've created them before without even trying. It doesn't particularly sound like much fun though."

"You could always make an entire planet out of that delicious, brown substance. What had you named it?" she inquired with a knowing grin.

"CHOCOLATE!!!!" I exclaimed with obvious exuberance, tossing my arms up and releasing chocolate bits into the void. I placed a claw on my chin and stroked the grey hair there. "How would we even go about constructing one? The past 307 have all been created at random, though I must admit I did rather enjoy myself during our last" - i held up both paw and claw making air quotes - "creative session."

The crimson immediately returned to her face. She could be quite adorable when flustered. I hardened my gaze into the void. Reaching out with my claw I tugged at the very yarn of existence. With miles of yarn I wove my first universe. It was a long and arduous process. I established laws of reality from motion to entropy (oh boy would there be lots). I structured some semblance of cause and effect, threw in a bit of a random tick, and let it begin. It honestly took a long time to get interesting.

Several stars formed, then solar systems, and then galaxies. Matter shifted in the void, forming and then breaking apart. Time, which had been passing at breakneck speeds, slowed to a crawl as I observed my creation. 829,723 stars. Not terrible, though not as large as some of the previous "Ooopsies". I looked long and hard and saw what I was looking for, a small nebulae with all the matter I needed for my purposes. I glided down to its center and twisted my outstretched claw. A fog of matter swirled and danced around me. With a quick swipe of my paw the atoms before me shifted, rearranging to the form I desired. A clawful of chocolate soon became the entire nebulae and I belted out such a joyous laugh.

"Whoa, that's a lot chocolate," An astonished voice sounded in the void behind me. Trinity coasted down to "sit" beside me. She asked, "What now?"

"Aren't you being just a bit impatient my dear?" I said in her voice. She glared at me with an impish grin and I mustered one of my own. "Now' - my voice shifting back to my own sound - "we dine." I snapped my claws and a table of wood covered by a red and white checkerboard cloth appeared between us. Two wine glasses materialized and, starting from the top, filled with warm liquid chocolate. I motioned for her to sit before I sat and cleared my throat loudly. Another me arrived sporting a black waistcoat and black dress slacks. Upon his face was a pencil mustache above a wry grin.

"Welcome to the Chocolate Nebulae, the best cuisine in three galaxies. What can I get the two of you today?" He asked, bowing deeply.

Trinity giggled. She looked sweetly at our "waiter" and asked, "What are your specials today sir?"

"Well my dear, we have chocolate pudding, chocolate cake, chocolate ice cream, chocolate fondue..." As the waiter me listed all the different choices more and more doppelgangers appeared holding plates with the named dishes. The waiter bowed as he finished listing food items. "So, what'll it be?"

We placed our orders and they were placed before us, her choosing a plate of chocolate-filled pastries and a cake for myself. All the extra doppelgangers disappeared leaving only the waiter nearby. It was almost perfect, but something was missing. I paused for a moment, my expression changing to one of contemplation. A smile quickly spread across my face before I pealed it from my face and threw it towards the waiter. It hovered near the waiter me's ear and whispered something into it. A devious grin spread to the waiter's face.

"Oh that shouldn't be a problem sir." He raised his arms and clapped quickly. A band of me started playing an beautiful orchestral piece and a single candle came to rest on the table between us, a small flame dancing on the wick. As I placed my mouth back on my face I gazed across the table and saw Trinity's brilliant emerald eyes staring back at me. I coughed into my clenched paw as a red flush spread brightly across my chest. The waiter winked at me and vanished. The goddess of order looked at me with an almost sultry look, her chest moving with a deep breath.

"Discord?" My eyes snapped back to those green gems she used as eyes. "This is nice. It was a good attempt. Now we know we can." We dined. Time raced forward and the stars around us started to dwindle and fade. No sapient creatures came of it. The closest had been a race of squids. Trinity and I enjoyed a bit of calamari before this universe ceased.