Being Honest With Yourself

by Tinybit92

Rating: teen
Tags: Equestria Girls, Applejack (EqG), Sunset Shimmer, Slice of Life
Length: 3273

Sunset Shimmer meets an earth horse and has an introspective conversation with Applejack. Talking things out with your friends is important. Set between the first two movies.

Sunset Shimmer has an interesting encounter with this world's version of a horse when she goes to help Applejack on the farm. This leads into a conversation that gets a bit more introspective than Sunset was probably hoping for when she came over that day. Sometimes you just need to hear the right advice from a friend though, and Applejack is plenty happy to oblige.

Set between the first Equestria Girls movie and Rainbow Rocks. Part of a series of fics I've been working on about Sunset's early days learning how friendship works, which starts with my previous story Asking a Favor. Can absolutely be read as a standalone though.

Rated Teen for one double entendre joke that I feel keeps it just out of E territory.

Published 2016-10-12 11:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-10-12 11:00:01 UTC

Chapter

Sunset Shimmer was feeling more relaxed than she had in a long time. There was something about walking down the old country road, fresh air in her lungs, sunlight in her eyes, a cool breeze blowing in her face, that just felt… magical. And Sunset knew her magic. Maybe it was just that she’d grown up in Equestria, where technology was so much simpler, but getting away from the city for a few hours was really nice. Even that couldn’t really be it though. After all, she’d grown up in Canterlot specifically, and while there hadn’t been cell phones and internet there, it had still been full of life and chaos at all hours. So maybe it wasn’t a literal nostalgia so much as a spiritual one. Every civilized being tended to crave the simplicity of nature once in a while. And while she wouldn’t exactly call a farm the wilderness, it was certainly simpler.

A warm chuckle came from beside her, and she turned in it’s direction with a questioning smile.

“You look like a cat that just found a nice warm patch of sunlight to lay in after lunch,” Applejack said with a grin.

Sunset laughed lightly, running a hand absently through her hair. “Yeah, there’s something really nice about being out here. It’s calming. I haven’t had a lot of calming lately.”

“Well I’m glad you’re getting something outta’ this. Here I thought I was putting you out asking for help this weekend.”

“It’s not like I had anything better to do.” Sunset shrugged. “You five are pretty much my entire social life. Besides, I’m happy to help.”

“Well how’s about we try and get this all done real quick then, and maybe we can go see a movie or something with the other girls.”

“Yeah, I’d be up for that.” The fiery-haired girl stretched her arms above her head with a soft groan and smiled. “I’d also be totally okay with just being in the sun all day too, though.”

“That’s the spirit,” Applejack laughed with a wink. She gestured to a barn they were steadily approaching. “I just gotta’ grab old Thunder outta’ the barn to pull some carts for us.”

“Thunder?”

“Our workhorse.” The blonde spoke nonchalantly as she pushed the barn doors open.

Sunset nearly stopped in the doorway from confusion. “Um, I’m sorry, workhorse?”

“Yup. Humans ain’t strong enough to pull a plow on our own, so we taught horses to do it for us.”

“You know, I was sort of aware of this concept from some of the stuff we’ve read in history class, but it doesn’t make it any less weird for me.”

Applejack laughed. “Yeah, I guess it would be a mite odd, huh?”

“A mite,” Sunset snorted with a roll of her eyes. “Holy—!” She nearly jumped back a moment later as her friend opened the doors on a stall and a large, brown equine trotted out. Applejack had a very amused smile on her face as she stroked the creature’s muzzle.

Sunset was stunned into silence for a moment. This horse was huge! The similarities between this species and her own were immediately apparent, but that just made the differences more jarring. It was taller than most anypony she’d ever met, for starters. Maybe Princess Celestia could have given it a run for it’s money, but that would be about it. She could tell from certain subtleties of the facial features that he was a stallion, though they were far less obvious than they would have been in a pony, and it occurred to her that humans would likely have a difficult time noticing such small features. His coat was a soft brown, save for a patch of white on his face, and some spots on his flank that could have almost been mistaken for a cutie mark at a glance. His mane, tail, and eyes were a much darker shade of brown, and Sunset found herself taken aback at the sharpness of his ears and muzzle. Sharpness was probably a good descriptor for him overall. He was very bulky and sinewy, muscles and bones were clearly defined in his entire frame, and his neck was a bit longer than she was used to seeing. After a long moment of examination, the once unicorn finally found her voice again.

“Wow. And here I’d thought seeing myself in a mirror for the first time after getting here was most surreal thing I would ever experience in this world. This takes the cake.”

“I take it this ain’t what horses look like where you’re from?”

She shook her head. “Much smaller. Less pointy. I’d say more colorful too, but I have met a few ponies with this sort of coat pattern in my life.”

“He’s real friendly if you’d like to come pet him.”

“Pet the horse. Weird concept.” Despite her reticence, the studious researcher in Sunset refused to let her not take a closer look. She stepped slowly closer and reached a hesitant hand toward his muzzle. The apprehension was drained from her almost immediately as her fingers came into contact with the familiar sensation of fur. A smile quirked at the edges of her mouth as she spread her palm flatter against his face and moved it lightly downward. Thunder snorted appreciatively, and she couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of her. “So weird,” she mumbled quietly. “This is what normal equines look like in your world?”

“Pretty much,” the now grinning Applejack responded. “He’s pretty average as far as farm horses go.”

“And, they’re definitely not sentient here?”

The blonde laughed. “Nope. Some of the smartest animals around, to be sure. But, definitely not about to have a conversation with you.”

“Pretty much anything with hooves can talk where I’m from.”

“Really? Even cows and sheep?”

“Yep. Why do you think I’m a vegetarian? It’s not just a holdover from being an herbivore most of my life. You go to preschool with a calf, and then tell me how good that hamburger looks.”

“Ain‘t you wearing a leather jacket?” Applejack questioned with an arched eyebrow.

Sunset shot her a disapproving look. “It’s fake leather, AJ. I didn't think that needed explaining.”

The farm girl just grinned at her friend’s sarcastic eye roll.

“What did you say you use him for?”

“Plowing, mostly. We’re pretty old fashioned ‘round here, and odds are Big Mac and Bloom would find some way to break a tractor plow. He hauls most anything around here though. Apple carts, hay bales, wagons, and in the winter we hook him up to a sleigh and he pulls kids through town ‘round Christmas.”

“So, basically just load bearing animals here?”

“Eeyup. Oh, and our property’s real large, so he gets used for quick rides across the fields pretty often.”

“That would be what the saddle on the wall is for then?”

“You got it.” Applejack suddenly looked excited as she made a suggestion. “Hey, you wanna’ try riding him?”

Sunset nearly choked on her own saliva in shock. “Sweet Celestia, please tell me I don’t have to explain to you why that phrasing makes me uncomfortable on multiple levels.”

The cowgirl nearly doubled over with laughter. “I honestly didn’t realize ‘til you said that.”

“Do I want to ride the stallion, for stars’ sake.” Applejack snorted loudly, as Sunset clutched at her own heart. Whatever sense of ease the farm atmosphere had brought her was completely gone by this point, spoiled by the discomfort and surrealism of the situation. Her focus shifted to the ground as she shook her head in amused disbelief, and she frowned when something there caught her eye. “Also, he shouldn’t be giving anyone a ride on those hooves.”

Applejack looked to where she was pointing and rubbed at the back of her neck sheepishly. “Yeah, we really need to get a good farrier up here for him. We been so busy with harvest the poor guy keeps getting put off.”

Sunset looked thoughtful for a moment, then sighed with apparent resignation. “I know I’m going to regret volunteering this information, but I can probably help with that.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, if you’ve got the tools it shouldn’t be a problem.” She knelt down slightly to get a closer look. “Looks like he mostly just needs a trim, but if you don’t do it soon he’s going to throw a shoe.”

“Golly Sunset, that’d be a huge help,” The blonde brightened considerably. “Only if you don’t mind though.”

“I’m already here to help,” she said with a shrug. “And I can’t in good conscience let the poor guy trot off like that.”

Sunset waited while Applejack ran off to a corner to retrieve the necessary tools. She glanced at Thunder and gave him a wry smile. “You’re lucky I’m sympathetic,” she told him.

“Here you are,” Applejack said as she handed Sunset a small bundle of hoof care tools.

“Thanks.” Sunset rifled through the objects and used her foot to pull a nearby wooden stool closer. “He’s not weird about people touching his hooves, right?”

“Nah, Thunder’s real even tempered.”

“Alright then, here goes.” Sunset could feel her friend watching her with rapt interest as she began the task of trimming Thunder’s hooves. Fortunately Applejack had been right about his temperament, as he stayed fairly still for her.

“Thanks again for doing this,” the blonde said after a moment.

“Eh, don’t worry about it. I’ve thrown a shoe before and it’s not fun. Hate to see this guy have to deal with that.”

“How’s that work where you’re from anyhow? Shoeing I mean. It’s a pretty common practice here with workhorses and racehorses, but horses that live like humans might not need ‘em, would they?”

“Not necessarily. It’s mostly down to personal preference and lifestyle. I lived in Canterlot and spent most of my time studying, so I didn’t get out often enough to wear my hooves down much, but when I did it was on paved roads, so shoes worked pretty well for me. But some ponies have different activity levels and environments where they don’t need them as much.”

“I’m guessing your version of Canterlot is also a pretty big city then?”

Sunset chuckled. “Only the capital of the kingdom.”

Applejack whistled, impressed. “Kingdom, huh? So, Equestria is a monarchy.”

“Diarchy actually. But Princess Luna was sort of banished to the moon for the past thousand years, so it has effectively acted as a monarchy until recently.”

One of Applejack’s eyebrow’s had jumped up towards her hairline. “Do I even want an explanation for that one?”

“It would be a long one.” They lapsed into a comfortable silence for a time after that. The familiar actions of hoof care helped bring back Sunset’s sense of peace from earlier, even if the hoof in question was much rougher and completely the wrong color from what she was used to. The sound of a file on dense keratin was almost soothing to her.

“Do you miss it?”

The question was so quiet Sunset wouldn’t have heard it if the barn weren’t so still. She glanced up at Applejack in surprise. “What?”

“Where you’re from, do you miss it? I mean, it was your home for most of your life wasn’t it? I couldn’t imagine just up and leaving my home.”

Sunset didn’t have an immediate response for that question. Did she miss Equestria? She supposed there were some things about it she missed, but did she miss the place itself? She thought about it hard for a long moment. “Home is a complicated word,” she finally settled on saying as she turned back to working on Thunder’s hooves. “Home is where you’re happy. I know there were times I was happy there, Princess Celestia made me happy for a while. She made me feel special and wanted, but that went to my head real fast. I wanted to be the best, and when you chase something unobtainable… Well, it’s not exactly fulfilling.” Sunset looked up at Applejack and saw her own intensity mirrored in her friend’s expression. The weight of her words was not lost on the farm girl. “You can’t imagine leaving here because this is where you‘re happy. This is where your family is, so this is your home. But it’s hard to miss something you never really had. Because, if I’m being honest, I couldn’t tell you when was the last time I was really happy.”

Applejack said nothing, just looked at her with sympathy and pain. The two of them held eye contact in a silent moment of communication and understanding.

Finally, the corner of Sunset‘s mouth curled into the barest hint of a smile. “I think I can be happy here, though. With you girls. I think, maybe, this world can be my home.”

Applejack smiled at that. “I sure hope so, sugarcube.”

There was a short pause, filled by the sound of the stool Sunset was using scraping on the floor as she changed positions to access a different hoof. Thunder took the opportunity to tap the neatly trimmed hoof against the barn floor and let out what sounded like an appreciative snort.

The farm girl let out a light laugh at her horse's behavior before she thought of a followup question. “Well, how about people then? Or ponies, I guess? Any friends or family you left behind that you might want to visit someday?”

“Well, as I'm sure I've mentioned before, friendship was never a priority for me, so that one's a no. And family is a whole other complicated subject that I don't really want to get into.”

“What about your teacher? Princess Celestia, right?”

The steady sound of filing that had filled the air ceased abruptly. Sunset's mouth was set into a thin line as she stared blankly through the floor. “Of course I miss her,” she mumbled quietly. The filing resumed, but the conversation seemed to drop. Applejack waited patiently, knowing instinctively that her friend wasn't really done yet.

“I really messed up when I left.” Sunset's voice was barely above a whisper when she finally continued. “Even if she wanted me back, if she ever wanted to see me again, I don't think I could face her. I don't deserve to even be in the same room as her anymore after everything I've done. She saw potential in me and I squandered it. She took me into her home and treated me practically like her own daughter, and I told her she was selfish for not giving me what I wanted. How could she ever forgive me after that? She's better off without me, so it's better if I just don't bother.”

The air was heavy with the weight of Sunset's own self loathing. She was so sure of her own folly that she didn't expect her friend to have any kind of response.

“Well, if you ask me, I think it's pretty selfish of you to make that decision for her.”

“Excuse me?” She looked sharply up at the blonde, a mix of anger and hurt in her tone.

Applejack shrugged. “Who're you to get to decide whether or not she should forgive you? And how is she supposed to know whether she should forgive you in the first place if you don't look her in the face and tell her you're sorry for what you did? Seems to me you're just scared to know her answer because you don't want to get hurt again.”

Sunset stood angrily, the glare on her face making her look less like the hurt little girl she'd seemed moments before and more like the bully she'd been a few weeks prior. Only the trembling of her clenched fists indicated her real feelings. Applejack met her gaze with a calm and level look of her own; neither antagonizing or placating, but simply asking silently what she was going to do next. The once-unicorn turned away and moved the stool over once more to start on the next of Thunder's hooves, sitting back down with a defeated huff.

“I'm not trying to hurt you Sunset.” Applejack explained a in calming tone. “I just want you to pull yourself outta' your own head long enough to see what's really going on here. I may never have met this princess of yours, but I think it'd make you both feel a lot better if you went and apologized to her. If she really did treat you like her own kin like you said, she probably misses you too.”

Sunset sighed quietly, her posture making her look deflated. “I know that. Or, at least, I want to believe that. But, I'm just... not ready yet. I've only just started figuring out who I'm supposed to be, you know? When I see her again, I want to be proud of who am, not just ashamed of who I was.”

“Now that sounds a little more honest.”

Sunset gave a soft laugh. “Yeah. I guess the new me should probably stop making excuses for myself when I'm scared or upset.”

“Might be a step in the right direction.”

They lapsed into silence again, neither of them speaking until the fiery-haired girl got up again to move onto the last of Thunder's hooves.

“Hey, AJ?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks. I really needed to hear all that.”

“I'm always happy to lend an ear and some friendly advice, Sunset. Sometimes people just gotta' hear the honest truth, even if it hurts them.” The farm girl adjusted her hat with a light chuckle. “And, sorry for interrogating you like that. I'm not usually one to pry into other people's business, but you seemed like you really needed to talk.”

“Yeah?” The girl said with a short laugh. “What gave me away?”

“Well, you don't usually like to talk about where you're from much, and I figured it couldn't just be because of the horse.”

“Wow, am I that easy to read?”

Applejack shrugged. “I'm good at reading people.”

A few moments later, Sunset stood up and put down the file. “Alright Thunder, you should be good to go buddy.” She patted the stallion's back.

He shifted on his hooves for a moment, almost trotting in place before he let out a grateful whinny. Sunset laughed softly, cutting herself off as the enormous equine turned toward her and pressed his muzzle against the side of her face. The familiar sensation sent a chill down her spine. Vivid memories filled her mind of a similar situation, the muzzle shorter and softer, with the addition of fluffy white wings wrapping around her much smaller frame.

Applejack laughed, not noticing her friend's expression due to the horse's much larger head blocking her face. “Aw, seems he likes you. Guess he wanted to show he was thankful for your help.”

Sunset had to fight back nostalgic tears as she reached up and patted the side of the stallion's face. “Thanks, pal. Glad I could help.”

Author's Note

I started writing this one and a few others around the same time I finished Asking a Favor. There's one for each of the five girls, and other than Pinkie's they're all done. Figured I should probably start posting them up now. Exploring Sunset's journey of personal growth immediately post Fall Formal is important to me.

I almost certainly could have given this an E rating if I wanted, but I refuse to let go of the ride the stallion joke.

I know absolutely nothing about hoof care besides what wikipedia told me, so apologies if I made some obvious mistake.