Call me Queenie

by Abaddon spice

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Alternate Universe, Changelings, Original Character, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, Adventure, Human, Gore
Length: 14313

Thrown in as a changling Queen far before the Canterlot invasion, and trust me mate, I got 99 problems and a Chrysalis ain't one.

Here I am, thrown in as a changling Queen far before the Canterlot invasion, watch as I- A: make my whole race terrified of me B: overthrow a changeling god! C: die, a lot. D: all of the above.

What do you think?

.....wait a minute.

(Open for new cover art)

Published 2016-12-13 18:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2022-02-25 22:43:51 UTC

Eggsposition

*snore*
*snore*
*sna-ack!

Whoa, how the hell did- oh shit! I'm behind schedule!

*Crash*

*Bang*

*Cough*

'Hmm, I wonder how many other sound effects I can add'

Oh, yeah storyline, uh, *rummaging through desk*

*Throws piles of paper at computer screen*

*Smack*

Take it!

I didn't know how long it had been since that first egg, but somehow I guess that one was the freaking Rambo of the bunch.

Seriously, it hurt like a bitch.

But, of course no need to focus on that.

'Oh hey, I think my eighty-ninth egg just got laid'

More important things are happening.

So, yeah, I've been immobile for about- 'Oh, there's another one' -about ninety eggs.

I guess you expect me to be, 'oh I don't know' freaking out about this- well there's only a small problem with that. You see, a Queen's emotions have a very big impact on egg laying. If a Queen's stressed it'll be harder for her to lay eggs. Happy, egg laying's a piece of cake. Scared, she'll lay them quicker so she isn't in a defenseless position. Fully freaked out?

Yeah, I was literally machine gunning my first forty eggs.

Don't worry though, before it could escalate, or any harm could come to the eggs, Scout calmed me down.

So, that's kind-of just been it. You know, Scout disappeared from sight a long while ago... my only source of communication. Gone.

Eh, but before he had went back down into his tunnel, he actually told me a bit of changeling history.

So actually, long ago, changelings came from one great queen, known only as the Empress. From her, the first seven queens were hatched, and they started their own hives. These hives naturally, found their way in the far south savannah lands, where they had more offspring Queens. The offspring Queens usually, stayed away from each other and eventually occasional wars would break out.

What happened to the Empress, no one knew. Once she had seen her children were capable of being on their own, she had disappeared. The seven queens eventually killed each other though, in a huge territory war called The Bloodied Savannah, which had scared off all, but very few zebras away.

So, shortly after The Bloodied Savannah, came The Great Famine, in which devastated the surviving offspring queens. So to survive, they scattered themselves throughout the savannah lands. Raiding soon became a common thing for the Queens back then, they would attack and slaughter weaker hives that were around, then drain the hives of all its resources to feed themselves. Sometimes, they enslaved them as well.

'But, why didn't they just move?' Good question, the only answer I could come up with are that the queens were stubborn dicks, and didn't want to. Kind of like, Scar in the Lion King.

Anyway, one day that all ended, when a changeling Queen known as Kalii decided she had seen enough. She had seen the races around them, creating societies, inventing new equipment, working together to improve themselves, and was pissed off that her race was too stubborn to work together.

That in mind, she still tried to diplomatically unite the hives. Sadly though, it was in vain, the Queens just didn't trust each other, and in hindsight they probably expected it to be some sort of trap. Well, good-Ole Kalii here had a sibling, which is rare in changeling queenships (usually back then since food was so scarce, when a Queen layed more than one royal egg, she would usually sit back and let the siblings fight each other to the death for the royal title.) but the reason this happened, was because queen Kalii's mother had died before the second egg had hatched.

As well for queens back then, they had to wait till the egg hatched, instead of picking the biggest egg in the bunch and smashing the others. This was because they believed queenship needed the perfect leader, and the survivor of the bunch usually worked the best in this regard.

Disturbing, but practical.

Well anyway, the second queen was Valin and like her sister she wanted the hives united. Unlike her sister though, she wanted them united under her iron hoof. She wanted to unite all the hives by force and proclaim herself Empress of the Changelings.

Kalii thought it a foolish idea, but Valin would have none of it. So, one night she snuck into her sister's room and murdered her in her sleep, a cowardly move, but by law she was then coronated queen of the hive. Of course, she then started cranking out soldiers like crazy, and she would do this by attacking the weaker hives that Kalii had allied with, and forced the Queens to produce eggs until they starved to death.

Valin was one insane bitch.

Eventually, she had an army big enough to take on the larger hives and went all Napoleon on them. I don't know exactly how long it took, but she eventually beat down and enslaved a vast majority of the queens. The rest fled and were known as Feral or Wild Queens, or were captured and turned into egg factories for the tyrant Empress.

This lasted for a few centuries until the Empress was murdered by her daughter, in which then started a whole "Hamlet" situation, which lasted until recently a new Empress got "Elected"

AKA: went all Scar vs Mufasa up in there.

I think her name is Ratha or something like that, nowadays the enslaved queens (what's left of them) serve her instead of being egg factories.

So, that's about it really, Changeling History in its most summarized.

Oh! Almost forgot! I found out why Scout broke down at questioning me earlier.

Basically changeling hives have there class systems, right. Queen is highest, caretakers are second, spies are third, warriors are fourth, and labors are fifth. Easy, right? Well, there's another rule.

Outsiders are treated like dirt.

No, I don't mean, you trip them and steal their love shares or something, I mean 'Not even classified as a sapient being.' Queen's word is law, question it. You die.

I can only imagine the propaganda.

But don't worry about that, how about I cheer you up with some fun facts.

Fun fact#1: female changeling drones can lay eggs, but usually one (sometimes there are special cases).

Fun fact #2: Changeling Queens ban marriages, and couples in their hives because of this.

Proof to theory, changeling queens are dicks.

Yes, I know what I am, you can stop raising your skeptical eyebrow now.

Sthap.

'My queen'

Yes! Scout's back!

I quickly returned to reality, "Yes, Scout?"

He gave a quick bow and motioned toward his hole, "I have finished a temporary nursery my queen. May I start moving the eggs?" he chittered.

I nodded, 'it was getting kind of cramped anyway' then I noticed I wasn't laying anymore eggs.

Let it be known throughout the generations, that there was a queen who jumped up and did a victory dance with a asleep lower body.

But enough about her, let's get back to the protagonist.

"I can't feel my legs" I groaned to Scout as he gently repositioned them so they could get some blood flow. "Your legs will be functional within a few minutes my queen" he stated calmly, and tilted his head when I groaned an "Okay".

After a bit of not hearing any movement I looked back at him, "Uh, Scout? You okay?" I asked and he let out a sigh.

"Are you trying to test me my queen" he asked, and with that awkward silence filled the cave.

"Um... no?" Dafuq am I to say to that?!

He let out a dissatisfied grunt "Then why don't you order me to go faster? Or speed up the process? Or for empress's sake at least punish me for speaking without permission!" he yelled and stood his ground.

Remember when I mentioned about outsiders.

I let out a weary sigh and forced my pins-and-needles legs up, and ~~nearly fell~~ shambled over to Scout.

He cowered as I towered over him, still holding his ground, he braced himself for what was to come.

I stopped right in front of him, and stared him straight in his eyes.

He froze as my brows furrowed, ears flattening against his skull.

This did nothing to deter me though, and I opened my mouth.

"Can you do that?"

"huh?"

"Can you do what you just said?" I reinstated, not getting where I was going, he slowly shook his head no.

I nodded my head, "Then why would I ask you if you aren't capable of doing it?" I stated as if it was the most simple thing in the world, and seeing Scout's flabbergasted face, I decided to let that hang. I slowly turned and shambled off toward my eggs.

As she got farther away, Scout slowly got up and shook his head.

After a bit he just stared at her, realizing he still had to move those eggs he sighed,"You truly are insane, my queen" he murmured and quickly followed after her.

Author's Note

Men have called me mad; but the question is not yet settled, whether madness is or is not the loftiest intelligence– whether much that is glorious– whether all that is profound– does not spring from disease of thought– from moods of mind exalted at the expense of the general intellect.
~Edgar Allan Poe

When you're the only sane person, you look like the only insane person.
~Criss Jami

I prefer not to be too high...

Together me and Scout moved one hundred and twenty-seven eggs to the temporary nursery, where my body then went into auto-pilot. Moving the eggs around in more snug positions, and wearing down the walls till everything was well-rounded.

Yeah, so basically I was baby-proofing the place.

'Hmm, I actually wonder what baby changelings look like' I thought to myself as I made another walk through around my new smooth walls.

'They'll probably look adorable' I thought with a small smile as I carefully nestled another egg among its brethren.

'And what to name them?' I continued, then I stopped myself right there.

'Hold up, I don't even have a name' I realized, and upon that shocking realization I just had to sit down.

Man, I guess between getting turned into a love bug, becoming queen, and now having 127 kids to worry about, making up a name didn't even cross my mind.

I so need to get my priorities straight.

But, enough about that, what name should I use? Would something bug like work? Nah, even in history some changelings had normal-ish names. Movies? Nah, too many to pick from. Video games? ... Actually, that doesn't sound too bad.

Oh my god. I got it. The perfect name.

Call me... Lara Croft.

... Okay in my defense, that sounded a lot better in my head, anyhow.

What video game character do I know of, that has anything to do with hives of insects?

D'vorah? Nah, I could see way too many cock jokes being made.

Sarah Kerrigan?

...

... Kerrigan? Not bad, but Queen Kerrigan though?

Eh, I'll think of something, but for now I guess just Kerrigan will do.

A small growl resounded throughout the nursery and I looked at my gut.

Shit.

'Looks like we're going hunting, Scout' I mentally informed him, and then another crucial piece of information decided to come crashing down.

I don't know how to feed.

I mean, sure, I at least got an idea from fanfics and such, but I truly didn't “know” how a changeling fed.

'Maybe I could ask Scout' I wondered and with that, my right eye began to sting again.

'Damn, almost forgot about you' I thought irritably. I think I had scraped it when I had fallen outside the cave due to small brain crash, and lack of mirrors or large concern on Scout's part lead me to believe it was probably a minor injury.

It's still freaking annoying though.

But, before I could think anymore on the matter Scout interrupted me, via: Mindspeak.

'I'm on it, your majesty'

Scout continued his flight away from the hive, he had recommended his queen to stay behind with the eggs, while he went off in search of food.

Now alone and having a good way to go before there would be any settlements, Scout decided he could let his mind wander. His thoughts focused mainly upon his new queen. He couldn't make fangs or tails out of her, on one hoof she had a logical personality, something quite rare among queens, he would admit. On the other hoof though, she seemed foreign, like she knew nothing of changeling tradition.

He had not ignored her kindness though, but strangely, though her demeanor was calm she always had a strange aura of hostility hanging around her.

A scorpion crawled near one of the eggs.

"Not today bitch" Kerrigan growled, and then promptly smashed it with her hoof.

He recalled when he first laid eyes on her, a shudder raced down his spine, dark metallic eyes with glowing rings that rivaled heated steel. Eyes that belonged more to a ferocious Tartarus demon than a queen, he surmised.

Kerrigan slowly yawned and lazily laid down for a nap.

Her tall crooked horn that split near the top, front longer than the back, fashioned more to impale than cast magic. A rugged razorback mane the light color of blood, that ran from behind the horn, down her neck and hung loosely over her shoulder.

The image formed a perfect warrior queen, hungering for the blood of her enemies. To honest, Scout wouldn't be surprised if she was plotting some hives demise right this minute.

Kerrigan drooled as she slept on the nursery floor.

But, detail that had driven him to join her swarm was not the mane, nor horn

It was her eye.

Upon her right eye lay a jagged crack in her facial chitin.

Scars among changelings were rare especially among queens, due to chitin being hard enough that it usually withstood most injuries leaving at most a deep scratch in the plating. A crack though? Scout shuddered at the thought.

It surely proved that she was a fighter and a relentless one at that, it would explain how she survived so long without a hive.

Kerrigan's drool began pooling on the floor and one of her hindlegs twitched.

Queens rarely even thought of face to face combat. Mostly relying on their hive warriors to take care of such matters. Unless they were Enslaves, Scout thought bitterly, then they fought to the death in the Empresses area.

In the corner of his eye he saw a small village in the distance. Reminding himself of his task he shook his head and landed.

He quickly took the form of a tired male zebra, his marking being a trail of hoof tracks.

'Time to hunt' he thought with a flat-toothed smile.

He slowly approached the village, doing his very best to give off a "weary traveler" look.

As he got close enough to catch shapes, the first thing that caught his eye was two colts and a filly wrestling and arguing over some dusty orange ball that was deflated in the village pathway.

'A easy meal? Thank the Empress!' He rejoiced internally, and gave a small smile as he approached them.

"Something the matter?" He said calmly and the foals immediately looked up.

"Yes mister, and the falt lies in our sister" the colt with the wavy stripes said as he pointed accusingly at the young filly, internally Scout groaned.

'What is it with flipping zebras and rhyming!' He thought with annoyance, but on the outside he turned toward the filly.

"Is it true that this was because of you?" He said as he pointed toward the deflated ball, and the filly's ears flattened.

"Yes, but you see. They won't forgive me." The little filly said sadly as she slowly twiddled her hooves.

'Ugh, your sadness is sour. And your position seems dou- Now you got me doing it!' Scout quickly shook his head and then picked up the deflated carcass of the play ball.

"Do not worry young foal, for it merely has a hole" he rhymed (and silently smacked himself) and walked into the village.

A few zebra's were meandering about, quite a few turned their attention towards them. Scout quickly headed toward a nearby elderly zebra that seemed the closest.

"This ball has gone flat know where to get it patched?" He asked and the elder nodded and pointed towards one of the huts.

"Thank you" he thanked and slowly began to drink in the appreciation from the foals.

'An easy meal indeed' He silently mused as he continued forward.

Slowly, Kerrigan rose up from her short nap. 'Man, I feel better' she thought with pure content as she stretched and popped her back. She then shot up as she heard a sharp crack behind her, a crack etched across one of the nearby eggs.

'No.' but rebelling against its creator's dismayed thoughts the egg shook and began to crack more.

Finally coming across the realization that nothing she could do would stop the little bugger from hatching, she could only announce these words.

"Oh, shit."

Author's Note

127 is the total amount since during the changeling history recap Kerrigan was still laying eggs.

Rise of a nutty queen and compadre

I inspected the large group of changelings surrounding Scout.

'Chitin. Blunt weapon will probably be the most effective.' I silently concluded, as I discreetly looked around for useable weapons.

As much as I would love to use my default "Magic Missile" it would probably be more likely to damage Scout more than help him in this type of situation.

'Game logic don't fail me now' I thought grimly as I slowly began to walk forward as my choosen weapon caught my eye.

'Your majesty?!'

Ignoring Scout's exclamation, I quickly dodged the first changeling that leapt towards me. Catching them (he/she/it?) off guard as it tumbled behind me.

Yeah, I might be a girl, but I have plenty of elementary school fights under my belt; and no matter what I will always remember my grandfather's wise words.

"Young lady, there is no such thing as a fair fight. If you have to get in a fight remember this; find the heaviest object near you and beat the fucker's head-in."

Ah, truly wise words grandpa.

I quickly grabbed a fallen brick off the ground, and as the first one got up, it spun and lept for my back. I whirled around and smashed my newly acquired weapon into its face. A mix between a crunch and a squelch greeted me as dark green blood sprayed onto my chitin, and the rest of the changelings backed up. Adrenaline was pumping through my veins and by the time another scraped up enough courage to attack me, I easily grabbed it by its horn and slammed its head into the hard ground. Its neck snapped due to whiplash, and I tossed the body aside so I could regain my trusty brick.

The group (fueled by the rage of their discarded hive mates) tried to tactfully surround me.

Crap.

I tried my best on attacking the ones that tried to get out of my line of sight but soon I was surrounded.

To make matters worse, after a few hefty beatings my trusty brick broke.

Broke as in crumbled to dust as I smashed a lug's face-in.

Now, there was about eight of them left, I had no weapon, and they all tried to dog pile me.

'Wings don't fail me now.' I prayed as I floored it and shot up above the charge. As they pulled upwards to follow me, I stopped buzzing my wings and promptly fell towards the still pulling up changelings.

'Mental note: Move was extremely effective but Kerrigan was hit with recoil' I grunted as picked myself up off the eight changelings I just promptly body slammed.

One of them still was conscious after my tactful body slam and was pinned under one of its larger comrades. Its squirming grew more frenzied as I got closer and towered over it.

I brought my hoof up-

Die

-and I pulled out the trapped changeling.

I looked dead into its pupilless compound eyes, "Tell your high bitch that Queen Kerrigan owns these lands now," I growled as I tightened my grip, "And if I ever see one of you little plate bags on my turf again, I will inform her of her poor decision myself."

I bared my fangs.

"Understood."

It squeaked.

'I'll take that as an affirmative.'

I tossed the changeling to the side and turned to see what I could do to the rest of the raiders.

I blew another attacker to pieces, 'Now that Scout was safe I could probably just leave.' I thought as I bucked another raider, 'But there's villlagers here, I can't just leave them,' I tried to reason as more blood coated my legs.

Basically what happened, after I handed out a mint brand can of ass-whoopin' the one I spared notified the others that I was kicking ass so about all of them now are trying to kill me. Yay.

But to be honest I felt kind of bad for them, the ones I had killed off earlier were warriors (I guess) I assume that they were far more important than the ones I was fighting now. Mainly because the poor saps that were basically throwing themselves at me were way too thin to be considered healthy.

As I finally crushed my last opponent's skull I realized the changelings were no longer attacking me.

I wiped green blood off of my hoof, and stood tall over my defeated foes. Different mixtures of changeling blood dripped off of my chitin. 'Ugh I'm going to have to clean that off'

The survivors finally decided they wanted nothing to do with me, but still tried to intimidate me with a unified hiss.

They hissed.

I snarled.

I mean, this wasn't some roar, this wasn't some loud yell. This was some sort of rabid, tiger, honey badger, Dragon bear, snarl. And Damn! Those little shits shot out of there like the devil themselves was after them.

In hindsight she probably was.

As I watched the raiders retreating forms, I looked down at the blood coating me and something finally clicked. A shiver went down my spine 'I didn't feel a thing' I thought as I looked down at the lifeless bodies surrounding me. I felt, well, wrong. I mean I knew what I did and I acknowledged it but there was nothing. No sympathy no regret, heck! Even my worry seemed pretty mild. However, before I could go too far down that rabbit hole of thought, a little red blur latched on one of my forelegs and drew my attention.

I looked down into the wide eyes of my awestruck drone, 'They hurt what was mine~ What they got was a warning! Simple as that-'

'H-how.. you just took on a raid troop by yourself, your majesty. Were you prepared in case you failed? ' Scout's voice Interrupt- asked shakily as he clung to my foreleg for dear life.

I thought for a moment for a liable answer or at least some bullshit excuse, but in the end I decided to go the easy route of pure honesty.

'Nope.'

And the same way as my murderer train of thought ended, I terminated the conversation with Scout (who was, by the way, spluttering incoherent thoughts over the mind link). I walked up to the cowering tribe zebras (Scout now my new leg band), and coughed to get their attention.

"Which one of you is the Chief of this village?" I announced and all of them backed away till one zebra mare stood tall.

"I am the chieftess of this village, spirit beast, what do you want. For our children you eat." She spat vehemently at me despite the fearful looks she got from her tribesmates.

I shrugged the glare off and slightly looked down at Scout.

'Do they really need to rhyme? I mean that one was pretty bad.'

'I don't know, your majesty. Mystic zebra stuff, I usually just go with it for cover.' Scout dazedly replied once his little buggy mind went through a complete reboot.

I gave Scout a silent agreement and returned my attention to the passive aggressive chief mare.

"I'm quite sure I don't eat foals, Ms..."

As I waited for the mare to respond I realized what position I was in.

The raid party had retreated, the villagers were defenseless, and last I checked changelings can make storage cocoons.

Conquer or destroy, seize this opportunity to control.

I weighed the thought for a bit.

"Becio." She finally replied and I almost didn't hear her.

"Ah, Becio. My sincere apologies, for the scare but I mean you no harm." I stated calmly as I pulled myself from my thoughts.

Becio glanced at the blood covering me with one eyebrow raised.

I rolled my eyes, "See for yourself" and then I whistled.

A few small heads poked behind some rubble.

"Is it safe?" One of them whisper-shouted.

"Quite." I replied and the foals made their way to their parents.

Before I knew what was happening Becio shot towards one filly and colt and was hugging the life out of both of them.

"Zeki! Toko!" I was so worried!" she cried, tears rolling down her face, and the foals wrapped their arms around their mother, crying as well. Both being happily relieved that the other was alright.

I of course stood there like a dumbass, slowly inhaling the delicious emotions off this heartwarming scene.

'Mmm, this is good.'

'More for the hatchlings, your majesty'

I glanced down and noticed Scout too was inhaling the scene a well.

Suddenly, and idea popped into my mind.

Or more like latched onto my free foreleg.

I looked down and saw the small zebra filly (Zeki, I presume) hugging my free foreleg.

"Thank you Ms. spirit beast." She said happily as she hugged me a little harder.

'Damn.' Was all I could think as I got a full blast of Gratitude sent my way.

'Wait a minute. Did I hear a zebra not rhyme?'

'Your majesty, what you've done before was amazing. What you did right now was a miracle.'

'Scout I need your opinion here. Do you think it would be beneficial if we allied with the zebra tribes?"

'Eh?!'

I rolled my eyes, 'You heard me.'

'Y-your majesty, they are food bags. Prey. Why should we ever ally with them?!'

'So ,we can passively feed till the hive has enough warriors so we can take this entire village for ourselves'

'Sh- that's not what I-'

'That is ingenious, your majesty! You must be the craftiest queen to walk the savanna!' Scout mentality squeed.

Great, now Scout thinks I'm out for world domination. God damn you, weird murderous thoughts!

To my loss, I had no time to correct the situation, the waking world was demanding my attention.

"Miss spirt beast, are you well? It seems quite hard to tell."

I looked down at my little interrupter with a bit of a smile.

"I am fine young one, but I have a question."

It took flipping forever till Becio decided to trust us (not that I can blame her) but after stating a few points and actually explaining a little bit of our diet. She at least allowed us to visit the village outer boundaries, anything past that however was off limits.

So after my long and weary debate with the chieftess, Scout and I returned home. Once we got back I saw my little grub that I had put in charge a was organizing my other grubs into secs based on their skills.

'Do you like it mother?' My little grub squeaked, (To be honest I was just surprised how much better their speach got) I smiled and patted their head.

'I'm very proud, why don't you tell me about each section you've divided each of your siblings in.' My little organizer immediately went down into FULL detail about every division she had just established in the however long time I was gone.

Infiltrators: Silent movers with an amazing skill of immediate transformation. While all changelings can transform, Infiltrators can come up with identities, full backstories, and fleshed out character designs under seconds. They have extended magic pools which allow them to stay in transformation longer as well as an extra food pouch to bring love home.

Warriors: Bulkier than infiltrators, yet more durable. What they can't make up in stealth they make up in brute strength. Warriors are more intended to stay in/near the hive so they don't have great aerial maneuverability (they don't fly much). However, they can sprint like a cheetah, and mostly use this ability for charging as well as fast transportation.

Airforce: Really good at flying (that's about it). Mostly used for scouting due to their uncanny ability to haul ass if spotted.

Workers: They maintain the hive, adding new chambers if needed or rebuilding damaged ones. Mostly focused on construction work, but can detect infiltrators.

Caretakers: Nurses that take care of the grubs till they exit their nymph stage. Not as durable as warriors, but can dish out a can of ass kicking if the grubs they are taking care of are in danger.

Lastly, my little squirt pointed to them-self Pupa: Organizers, defenders, and heirs to the Queen.

I raised an eyebrow at that, but I let it slide. I did basically put ~~them~~ her in charge, however I had to wonder how she knew which grubs went into which group. On the outside they all looked around the same, red eyes, larvae lower half, little fangs, 'maybe it's their hive links?' I wondered and I examined the networks of minds which connected to me.

My guess was correct, each group had a specific glow to it, infiltrators were purple, warriors were dark orange, workers were bright red, Air Force was blue, and caretakers were pink. My pupa surprisingly, had a white link, while my own was a dark red. Scout had a faded blue link, which I guess was faded to let me know he wasn't from my hive.

Chirping, I saw my little grubs began to surround me, I think they were smelling the love I had ingested. Leaning forward, I began hacking up wads of pre-digested love, as my grubs eagerly swarmed over it. It was disgusting, but my little spawns were being fed, so fuck it.

After my grubs had stuffed themselves my Pupa cleaned up the mess at sat by my side. Looking down at her, I squinted a bit and saw very thin strands of mane barely sprouting from her scalp. 'How could I have missed that?' I wondered and my Pupa let out a small yawn. Looking around I saw my children had piled onto each other, making a snuggle pile. I smiled and nodded to my struggling-to-stay-awake Pupa, "You may join them." Her eyes beamed, and she gave me a grateful bow as she wiggled over to the pile and dove in.

After a few squeaks and uncomfortable chirps, they finally all settled down and went to sleep. Deciding I could handle watching over the hive, I told Scout he could take a break. So now I'm sitting at the opening of the cave daydreaming as the wind outside blows some tumbleweeds past.

Hmm...how many names can I come up for 127 children?

[In the depths of the Anise hive]

"What do you mean the raiding party failed." A dark figure growled as they sat upon their carved throne.

A cowering drone trembled before his queen, "A Feral queen attacked us yo-your majesty. She used our attack as an example of claiming her territory." The dark figure stiffened.

"An example you say."

Before the drone could utter another word, its head was removed from its body.

"That is an example," she growled as she turned to another drone, "You will lead a war party to this insufferable queen" she commanded and the drone immediately shook its head.

"...and if you fail," the drone stopped as two Ice blue eyes began to glow, "You better pray that the Feral kills you.

Author's Note

Boom. Update.

Fight or Flight there is no die

Kerrigan grunted as she pulled a huge cartload of wood to the zebra village.

It had been at least a few days since the rival changelings attacked and in hopes of getting on the Chieftess's good graces Kerrigan offered to help in the rebuilding. After a bit of heckling and Zeki's puppy eyes, Becio begrudgingly agreed to Kerrigan's help, but still informed her to keep her distance.

'I guess she's finally warming up to me.' I thought with a quiet chuckle as I turned to face my tiny hitchhiker.

"We're almost here Zeki. Look alive!"

Zeki sat on her small pile of wood and gave a huff, "I am alive as can be, quite sure there is nothing to see."

I had to laugh at that, "Well, at least look a little enthused. I don't want your mother thinking I did some mind voodoo on you or something."

Huffing, Zeki crossed her hooves, but slowly, a small smile still worked its way onto her face.

"Well then Ms. Spirit we must make haste! Turn the dirt into paste!"

Snorting, I gave her a mischievous smile, "Careful what you wish for kiddo!"

Zeki was literally my biggest fan in the whole zebra village (not counting a most of the other foals) with her brother being in second place.

After sprinting like a hellhound out of Tartarus, I slowly decreased speed once I saw a certain zebra stallion waiting right outside the village.

He was slightly shorter than me, which actually made him the tallest out of all the zebras I had met so far. His muzzle was mostly black except for a small white triangle which was on his upper lip. Besides that, he was mostly a lanky zebra with brown eyes and his cutie mark that looked like a tribal tattoo of a money bag.

Actually now I think about it, about all the zebra cutie marks I've seen has been some sort of tribal version of a pony cutie mark.

Anyway, as I got closer I waved to the laidback stallion, "Dakin! How's it going!" I called, and the young stallion gave me a small smile.

"To see today I've been rather good. For now though, I'll just check the wood."

I nodded and turned back to my charge, "You heard the stallion. Off the merchandise." Zeki giggled and leapt off my cart. After waving goodbye, the little trouble maker ran back into the village.

As Dakin checked the supplies I had scrounged up, I decided to phone home base.

'Scout, how are the hive defenses?
'Just finished with the pit traps your majesty. I'll be working on the defense runes.'
'and the Grubs?'
'They have cocooned, your majesty. I'll let you know when they hatch.'

It was satisfactory.

I'm quite sure the Queen of those changeling raiders is gonna come for my ass soon, so I talked with Scout on hive defenses that didn't require warriors and we decided on using traps and defense runes.

Defense runes were quick to make, but had passive effects, like a anti-flight rune. Defense runes prevented beings from using previous abilities or adding abilities (cloaking for example). Runes however, were highly outdated, mainly due to no need for them (queens had warriors) and the fact that queens could train battlemages (side class of warriors) that were more powerful.

However, that in mind, I set Scout to create as many cloaking, anti-flight, and anti-magic runes as possible.

"By the sun's golden ray, you may now go on your way." I shook out of my thoughts and gave Dakin a nod as he hitched himself to the wagon and made his way into town. I took this as an opportunity to go snag some resources before I headed home.

Trotting off into the dusty wasteland, I headed off in some random direction. Having a hivemind meant I literally could not get lost, I always seemed to have some sense of direction that somehow directed me back towards the hive. I was just hoping I would come across something before I got there.

'Hmm...maybe I'll look in the Sandwrither lands today.'

Sandwrithers are basically big friggen sand worms which are indigenous to the badlands. Their diet usually consists of anything that fits in their mouth, and by that I mean everything.

A day or so ago I swear I saw one eat a mountain.

However, the best part about them is that Sandwrither territory is usually filled with useful metal deposits. Since they eat about everything, their digestive tracks usually just absorb nutrients and pass anything without nutritional value.

So yes, I was going to dig through Sandwrither shit, but I had a good reason.

Well...more of a moderately good reason.

Okay, well if I could collect a bunch of different metals and take them home I could experiment on which ones could be properly enchanted and if I got enough maybe make a forge.

'But, Kerrigan,' I hear you say, 'Don't changelings already have natural armor and weapons?'

And to that I say...fuck off. Chitin's tough but not Iron or steel tough, and on weapons, I don't care if the other guy's got a shell I'm gonna forge myself a Faust damn war hammer and nobuggy is going to stop me!

Did I seriously just say nobuggy? Faust damn I've been here too long.

Looking around, I noticed I had already entered the Sandwrither's territory. Scenery wise, it was flat, I mean it was perfectly flat. There were no bushes or trees or even hills, just flat red dirt.

Now, most beings would be cautious, I mean, one wrong move and you're literally worm food. However, may blessing be on the ancestor of the changelings because that bitch got us the perfect evolutionary advantage.

Case in point, the holes in my legs.

Do you know, the holes in a changelings legs provide perfect weight distribution? Yes, ladies and gents, that means I could fucking tap dance all over this place and not one sandworm would notice me.

So, I dug around for awhile and I actually got a large boon. I got some pretty big nuggets of gold and other metal looking materials. What? I don't know what they all are and the only one I can identify is gold (which could be pyrite).

Levitating my mined treasure, I departed for home.

Nothing could possibly go wrong.

I felt an itch on the tip of my muzzle.

'no.'

It slowly traveled up my nose.

'please no.'

I tried rubbing my snout with my hoof but that only made it worse.

Then the itch found its goal.

"Ah-hah-choo!"

Losing my concentration, all the metal I had collected fell to the ground with a small 'thud'.

I froze.

Oh for the love of-

1592 lapsed into thought as it flew forward.

1592 knew The Queen knew best. Every drone knew the queen knew best. The Queen was the oldest so the Queen was the wisest.

Simple common sense.

As well, if a few died to make her point, then that only made it more important.

However, 1592 felt worried for the Queen, after the recent shortage on food she had been getting more irritable. She'd upped from the occasional weekly execution to that of at least 4 killings per day. Not to mention she'd already slain her seventh Pupa, saying that it was "not enough" or whatever that meant.

1592 also wondered why the Queen had called all the Warriors to follow it. 1592 wasn't a General drone, 1592 was just a worker drone. It thought that a group of warriors would have worked instead using the most of the hive.

However, 1592 couldn't reason the Queen's actions. 1592 was just a worker drone. Worker drone was far lower than the Queen and Queen always knew what was best for the hive.

The Queen was the strongest so the Queen was the leader.

Simple common sense.

1592 however liked to think, even though it knew it was not as smart as infiltrator 6283, it hoped that one day maybe it would get as smart as them despite their recent decapitation.

A loud roar however shook 1592 from its thoughts, looking around 1592 saw a dark figure racing toward them.

Was that the Feral Queen?

1592 had never seen another Queen before but from his fellow changelings he had heard she was a vicious and ruthless being that could crush a full fed warrior with her bare hoof. Suddenly 1592 remembered its task, but before it could issue the attack order the Queen shot above them screaming something unintelligible. Hearing a rumble, 1592 looked down a saw a gigantic maw of serrated teeth rising up at an alarming pace.

Sweet cara-

"FAAAUUSSST DAMMMN ITTT!" I screamed as I flew over a swarm of surprised changelings.

I could plainly see that they were the same color as the ones I had defeated at the village. By the shear size of this swarm alone probably meant that they were sent out here to kill me.

But when having to choose between a Sandy Alaskan Bull worm or an army of changelings, I chose the flipping changelings.

The sand worm lunged up again, swallowing a mouthful of enemy changelings before it crashed back into the ground. The swarm below me broke formation and began to frantically attack the writhing sand worm.

'Good luck shitheads, that thing can withstand dragon fire.'

Taking this as a perfect distraction to make my grand escape I tried to fly off.

Emphasis on tried.

A few changelings noticed me and charged their horns with magic.

I promptly did what any normal being would do in this situation.

Retreat.

From far away, one would see a massive worm-like creature diving through a mass of black&purple. Like a fish swallowing gnats on a summer day, the worm would take large scoops out of the swarm as it dove up and down. However, if you squinted hard enough you just might see a red speck weaving wildly through the writhing swarm with a gathering mass of blindly firing changelings hot on its tail.

I flew through the fray, wings buzzing around me, bodies flying in every direction, the muffled screams of terror as changelings were being devoured. Maybe I went nuts, maybe I just activated some sort of primitive Changeling Queen instinct, but whatever it was it caused something in the back of my head to SNAP.

"HeheheheheheHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I never felt so Alive.

The Feral Queen dove through the fray, tearing apart all who were in her path, her eyes completely glazed in some sort madness. Her magic wildly shot in every direction, not focusing on any specific target, it randomly shot down changelings.

Trying to go for a kill, a brave warrior dove for her throat.

The queen simply caught him with her hoof.

"Do YoU wAnT A bAD TiME? HEEhehehahehe!" She giggled as she held the petrified warrior.

Frowning at its response (or lack thereof) the Queen shrugged her shoulders and TORE OFF THE WARRIORS WINGS.

Hearing its screams pleased the Queen as she then dropped it into the sandwrither's open maw.

However, this wasn't enough. How could it be? She needed- no She WANTED more. She wanted pain and agony. AND BY THE EMPRESS she was going to get it.

Wings tore, limbs snapped, bodies broke, and shells cracked.

Bathed in blood the Queen flew forwards into the thinning fray. Each being she got her hooves onto she killed, and each being that got out of her way she shot. More warriors more blood. More drones more blood. More wounds more blood.

The Queen's blood soon diluted the rest. Cracks decorated her hooves, her muzzle leaked blood down her face as one of her eyes began to swell. Her once pristine shell was covered in scratches and burn marks. The Queen didn't even realize the extent of her injuries until she couldn't fly up anymore.

Her right wing was missing.

Falling toward the earth the Queen realized she was no longer invincible.

Bloodlust dimming as the ground grew near, the Queen smiled.

'Your majesty.... wake up.... please wake up your majesty!!

'Hmm... what was that?'
'Don't worry my queen I've got you! Just please-'

'!Scout!'

My eyes snapped open, luminescent light flooded my eyes as I realized I was in the hive. Scout was kneeling before me, and I couldn't identify the room I was in right now but I guessed it was one of the ones he was working on when I left to help out the zebra village.

Wait why was I?

"Sc-oout?" Dear lord I sound like crap. I sounded like I just gargled nails and deepthroated a chainsaw, and it didn't help that I felt just about the same.

"My Queen! Thank the Empress you're alright!"

Knowing my voice was out of commission I communicated through the hivemind.

'Define alright.'
'Oh, alright means that-'
'It was a figure of speech Scout...anyway what happened to me?'
'You tell me your majesty. I was working on some runes in the entrance and then your hivelink started fading. I found your body in the Writher Lands,' Scout gave an involuntary shudder as he sat down.
'I-i thought you died.'

We both got quiet at that and I tried to lift my head so I could survey the damage. I the only thing I could see was dark green, unable to hold my head up any longer I rested my head on the ground. I let out a sigh which sounded like claws on a chalkboard.

'Scout what are the extent of my damages?'
Scout perked up, "Your muzzle was broken in three places, all four of your hooves were cracked. Your shell took a lot of damage, your left eye is swollen and...um..." He trailed off.
'What is it Scout?'
"Well...its..um.."

Oh crap I’m missing something aren’t I.

'Scout. Tell me what else is damaged.'
"Well you see your majesty...you are missinga wing."

The Hive trembled.

"WHAT!"

Ahhhhhhhhhhh......

Nope never yelling again.

Never.

As my throat felt like it was bleeding Scout immediately clarified his earlier statement.

"It's only temporary damage! With enough love you should be able to grow it back!"

Hell yeah! I'll still be able to fly! (Not that I’m a good flyer, but hey at least I can!)

Wait. Changelings can regrow limbs?

I forgot I hadn't answered Scout so when I returned to reality I noticed he was locked in the "please don't kill me I'm just doing my job" position. Not to worry him anymore I gave him some affirmation and sent him on his way. Now that I had some alone time I tried to recall what had happened when I was out.

Okay...left village. Got some metal, I sneezed, this summoned a eldritch death worm which was trying to kill me. Ran into a swarm of purple shiftshits..caused both shiftshits and death worm to duke it out..felt murderous thoughts then darkness.

Okay, I’m guessing I got my butt kicked...but since there were murderous thoughts I probably did some sort of hulk thing which was taken down due to shear numbers. Yeah, that's probably the reason why they left my body.

Suddenly it occurs to me that I could have died. My heart beats a little faster at that thought but not in fear but more like- excitement?

Okay something is seriously wrong with me, and since I don’t seem to have a exorcist or preacher on site I guess I’ll have to deal with it.

All I have to do is remember what triggered me, make sure it no longer works, and stay safe.

Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

I was left for dead.

But now I will train harder.
I will get stronger.
And I will strike when my enemy does not expect it.

But for now, I'll sleep.

~Deep within the Anise Hive~

“The war party was destroyed?!”

“Yes your majesty howe-“

“SILENCE! Useless, you’re all useless! Don’t bother healing the ones that made
It back it would only be a waste of love.”
“Y-yes your majesty b-but-”
“Do you have something to to add 137?”
“Your majesty, worker drone 136 is Ah-among the deposing changelings, I was hoping-”
“136? Oh, that was your twin right? Wasn’t it the one that lost its back legs? Let me guess, you want it to be spared.”

137 nodded its head frantically in agreement.

The blue eyed queen smiled.

“No. Now get out of my throne room.”

The drone bowed but anyling could tell that it was shaking. As it shambled
towards the exit the changeling only stared at the ground. Only when the queen called out it lifted its head.

“Oh and 137!”
The changeling stopped and looked back at the Queen.
“Make sure you dispose of the wounded away from the hive. Wouldn’t want them crawling back would we?”
The drone replied hollowly, “No...no we wouldn’t..your majesty.”

Author's Note

I'm BACK ladies and gents!

I'm pumped!

I'm ready!

I got story ideas just popping out my brain!

Nothing can possibly stop me!

Life:

What doesn’t kill you...

Its been a few days since the worm incident, Scout has put me on house arrest so lately I’ve been-

“Lying on the floor bored out of my mind~
Not knowing really what I’m trying to find~
I’m thinking up words that maybe rhyme~
Can’t stop me, cause I’m wasting time~”

Yeah....so I kind of got bored of just sleeping so I’ve become a rapper.

Yep.
Powa to the People!

Alright, honestly I have slept so much Luna would legally have the right of smacking me upside the head for overtime.
Besides that, my grubs are still in their cocoons and Scout has taken it upon himself to be the breadbringer of this family since I’m out of commission.

‘Your majesty, I have returned.’

Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

“Ah, Scout. Glad to have you back.” I grinned as Scout sauntered into my room.

His confidence has been getting better after I began ordering him around more. (I guess he’s more used to that anyway).

Today seemed different though, Scout had a cloth bag slung over his back. Curiosity gnawing at the edges of my mind, I spoke up.

“Soooo. What’s in the bag?”
Scout sat down and levitated it to me.

“The zebra were asking me where you were. I told them you were easing your battle wounds and then they just gave me this-”

Scout pulled out a huge woven jug.

“-And told me it would ease your pain,” lightly poking the container Scout looked at me with affirmation.

Well, at least my recent disappearance has not gone unnoticed. “Ease my pain eh, this going to be some sort of Zebrican medicine?

I gingerly pick up the jug and uncap it. Taking a whiff I smell a slightly fruity odor.

The fuck?

"Well I have no idea what this shit is but it doesn't smell too bad. Scout, go hunting for a bit, I'm going to try it."
Scout gave a worried look, but the queen knows best. So he headed out.

Now alone, I gingerly bring my face to the jug.
"This stuff can't be that bad."

"So! Scout-like wandered off to like wherever-now and like I think this stuff ain't too-to, hehe tootoo. Like a train, huh-I’ve never been on a train-what a Queen who never been on a train. Blasa-femmy! I’m a firckn Queen I can get a million trains! Millions of trains-lings!"

Kerrigan was drunk out of her buggy bellbottoms. The pain had long faded away and Kerrigan was up an “walking” around. Okay, more like stumbling and faceplanting around, but at least she was active.

Ah sheeet~ the boozes-gone! How did it go so fast! That jug was as big as a-my fucking head! It waz ma only friend a long with Scout!

Now you see a depressed, drunk Kerrigan in her natural element. Several miles away from the hive clinging onto an empty wine jug. How did she end up here? Fuck if I know.

"I must have more of that good shit!"

Kerrigan wobbly sat up and tried to stagger forward. Her limbs flailed uselessly for a bit until she managed to stagger forward until she inevitably face planted into the sandy earth.

“Earth why you got to be so bad to me, you hurt my eye, you hurt my face. Wait doesn’t face cover the pain in my eye and like now both my eyes hurt. Hmm... sand is crunchy."

This disappointment of a Changeling Queen lightly crunched the sand for a couple of minutes.

Finally, she remembered what she had sent out to do and after standing up running in a drunken frenzy Kerrigan found herself on the outskirts of the zebra’s village. However, upon reaching said village Kerrigan realized that she didn't have a way in actually apprehending said drink.

'Hmm..what to do? The only thing I have... is me,' and with that thought, a glowstick snapped in Kerrigan's brain.

'Ohhhh! I got an idea!'

A lone zebra guard stood watch over the wine hut. His fellows had left him as they went to the bonfire to get drunk. Rolling his eyes and sighing the guard stood at his post- that was- until a beautiful mare caught his eye.

A young zebra mare, swaying side-to-side, cheeks pink with blush, as she gave the guard a huge smile. She then promply staggered over and collapsed onto him.

"Kavii! hic h-hows it going ya-hic beautiful stallion!"
Kavii recognized the mare as Mari, his childhood friend (and not so secret crush). Blushing, all the stallion could think was, 'Even drunk you're still gorgeous,' and was totally unprepared for what happened next.

Mari leaned forward and passionately kissed Kavii.
"You don't knowhic how hic-long I've been wanting to do that."
Kavii stood there it pure shock until he managed to force words out of his mouth.
"I love you."
"Took youhic long enough."

As this scene of passion played out a medium-sized box scooted past the unguarded entrance.

‘I am stealthy as the snake.’ Was all Kerrigan’s drunk ass could think as she scooted her way further into the wine hut.

~ Within the Anise Hive~

Queen Anise sat on her throne, lazily looking around her throne room. Most of the drones were busy disposing of the weaklings so not many had foolishly wandered in so she could make an example out of them.

Executions were routine for Anise, fewer drones meant fewer mouths to feed, and due to the recent shortage of love, it was a necessary sacrifice. She still was at an age were she couldn’t control the regularity of her egg laying so she solved her hive “growth” problem by her own means. Drones also hardly ever got upset about it as long as they were given an excuse. And if they did, well, that just made the culling easier.

Anise snorted as she brought herself out of her musings. Nothing good ever came from sitting around daydreaming. She stood from her throne and arched her back. She groaned as her joints popped synchronously down her spine.

"Ugh. Empresses fangs I hate this thing. What I would give to get rid of this infernal thing." Anise grumbled as she popped her neck.

However, there was a reason she never got rid of that throne and every queen before her knew the reason as well.

The throne was made of Chanvium, an incredibly rare element which most notable ability was that it absorbed magic.

Legends say that Chanvium was created by the first Queen who used it as an advantage against magical creatures. However, due to numerous takes on each legend, each tale recalls the process differently. One tale says that the Queen used the blood of a cursed dragon and copper to create the substance. Another claims she killed her offspring and used one piece from each of her dead pupa to create the legendary rock. Since it was never truly agreed how she actually managed to create the damn substance the true process had been decided as “lost to time”.

All the same, any queen in their right mind would kill to have this throne.

But that doesn't mean that wasn't the literal most uncomfortable thing to sit on for hours on end.

After working out the worst of the knots out of her joints Anise began to walk around her throne chamber. By the Empress this was boring, but it had became her routine for the time she had taken the throne. She closed her eyes and recalled the surprised expression of her mother the day she killed her.

Anise gave a small smile as she remembered that fond memory. Her first decapitation.

She couldn’t wait till she had a pupa good enough to challenge her. One that was as vicious as she was when she first hatched.

A frown crossed her features as she remembered her previous successors. Too soft, too weak. Soft-shelled weaklings the lot of them. At least she crushed her siblings skulls the moment she freed herself from her egg. Nowadays she was lucky if her pupa had enough strength to stand much less stomp.

In reality Anise knew why her pupa were so weak. Malnutrition had been the bane of her hive and it had only gotten worse after the Empress had increased the required amount of love for her yearly tribute.

Oh how Anise would have loved to tell that overstuffed glutton where should shove her tribute, but even Anise knew that she wouldn't live long enough to see her reaction.

Alas one problem as a time though, she first has deal with that pesky Feral and then she needs to send another raid party to retake that village.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

'There is no reality. Only pain.'

It was morning and a certain queen had just been dragged out of the village wine hut.
Becio stood over Kerrigan with a smug smile.

"Oh, it looks like one can't hold her wine. Don't worry now, she'll do her time."

Eyes squeezed shut and hooves plugging her ears, Kerrigan hissed.

Everything hurt, by Faust herself, everything hurt. Light burned her eyes and sound aggressively drilled into her eardrums. Her throat was so dry she felt at any moment it could crack. She pressed herself as further in the ground in some faint attempt of trying to get away from the pain.

Becio chuckled at Kerrigan's pathetic attempts to block out the world, but had a wrinkle of worry on her brow as she could see Kerrigan's still-recovering injuries.

"Come, this is no time to lie. Let's get you to the shaman before you die."

With the help of several other villagers, an incredibly hungover and uncooperative Kerrigan was now leaning/shuffling alongside Becio. The chieftess guided Kerrigan to the Shaman's hut that was further within the village.

Finally making it to the hut, Becio guided Kerrigan to one of the mats within and helped her lie down. She then looked at Mado the village's shaman.

"Give her good care. Of suffering she's had her share."
With that, the shaman Mado nodded as Becio left the hut.

As the shaman mixed up a remedy they were barraged with a cacophony of hissing each time a noise was made. Deciding that at this rate they might make a mistake from being surprised Mado decided to take their work outside. Much to the relief of the suffering changeling queen.

‘Tear it. Shred it. Destroy the cause of our pain.. Oh for FUCK'S sake just shut up.’
' It hurtssss~'
'No shit sherlock! I'm just curled in the fetal position trying my best to not shove my head in the ground because I wanted a new change of pace!'
'...'
'See that wasn't so hard was it? Now that you've stopped being some bloodthirsty dumbass I'm going wallow in my suffering.'

And that is what Kerrigan did for and hour before Mado returned with his finished brew. Luckily it was dark enough that Kerrigan could squint at the shaman as he instructed her what to take it ease her pain as he offered her various pots and bottles. Despite it being one of the worst things Kerrigan had ever eaten in this new world, the shaman's cures did work relatively quickly giving her much needed relief. Kerrigan sat up once her splitting headache finally died down.

The initial blaring pain that was pressing on her temples slowly dulled down to throb as the brew worked its magic. Kerrigan sighed as she, at last, had a moment of reprieve.

"MY QUEEN!"

And that moment was gone as the flaps of the tent were torn to side and a very panicked Scout tackled her.

"Oof! Scout- How's it been?" Kerrigan drawled, as the weight of the events from yesterday finally started to catch up to her.

Scout's red compound eyes looked up at her.

‘AftermyhuntItriedtocontactyou-butyoudidn'treasponedsoIfearedsomthingmighthavehappenedsoIreturnedtothehive andIjustknewsomethingwaswrongbecauseyouweren'tthere-’

He wrapped his hooves around her foreleg.

"You could have died!" he wailed.

'at this point I think he just uses the mind link because he doesn't require him to breathe,' Kerrigan mused as she looked down at Scout.

"Hey, don't worry. Look I'm fine, " Kerrigan gestured with her free hoof and winced, "okay not 100% but overall I'm doing great."

Scout looked up at her unconvinced.

'I mean I guess it's good that he's always worried about me, but at this rate I think I'm going to cut his lifespan in half.'

Kerrigan lowered her head so she could look into his eyes.

"Thank you for worrying about me Scout. I'm glad that you care so much. You're a hard worker and I know my bullshit hasn't made anything easier for you-" Scout tried to interject but Kerrigan silenced him with her free hoof, "-but you forget that I am not made of glass-" she removed her hoof from Scout's mouth and pressed it into the ground, a spiderweb of cracks spreading across the floor.

"I am the queen of our hive. When push comes to shove I am going to be sledgehammer that's going to crush the opposition," her mind seemed to go somewhere distant and Scout let go of her foreleg.

"I'm not going to just survive Scout, I'm going to live. I want to live the best life I can. I know this world has so much wonder to offer," her eyes seemed to focus on him, "And I plan on taking you with me. We're in this together so don't think you won't be by my side."

Kerrigan stood up, "So don't worry too much, I'm not leaving you behind."

She made her way towards the door.

"Let's go home."

After thanking Mado and apologizing to Becio for raiding the wine hut Kerrigan and Scout flew back home.

On the flight back Scout was silent, previous words from his queen repeating in his mind.

Our hive.

His wings buzzed faster.

Our hive.

All hail the queen!

Alright, so we have a human.

Somewhere, somehow, chosen by the forces of dickery to be in this story.

Stats:
Sex:Female
Age: you know it's rude to ask a woman her age (weirdo)
Info: has previous knowledge of mlp
Status: Has no idea what's about to happen

Perfect.

Hmm, what's this? (I was rummaging through the previous owner's desk) Background? Prologue? Reasoning? Plot?!

I quickly crumpled the papers up and tossed them in the bin behind me.

I'm an improviser, I'll come up with something.

Oh, and in case you don't know who I am?

I'm the fucking narrator.

Darkness.

I slowly opened my eyes, "owww..." I groaned as I slowly got up. 'What the hell just happened?" I wondered, but the more I thought about it the more my poor head hurt.

Okay, basics, My name was Jadyden Wall and I am a Human

Wait. That's not right.

I tried to rack through my mind for and answer, but the more I tried to think about it, the more my head hurt.

Looks like I'm not getting anything from this.

"Ohhh.." I groaned as I weakly tried to get up. 'Might as well, get a good look at where the hell I am' I thought begrudgingly. I looked around, I was in some sort of desert-ish landscape, in the distance there were some weathered mountains, and to my right there was a huge cave. Some sickly looking trees were in the far south, and random rocks were scattered across the landscape.

A perfect wasteland.

Once done with my scenery observation, I tried to think of what I was doing before I passed out. Was I drunk? No, I don't drink. Did I die? No, I'm still breathing. Did someone kidnap me? In that case, where the hell are they?!

As I was continuing to go down my mental checklist, a small voice in the back of my head interrupted me.

'Your majesty?'

Oh shit! My brain's got hacked by Siri!

'No, get your auto-correcting ass out of my mind!'

'...what is an auto-correcting ass, your majesty?'

'Ugh....never mind'

Wait I remember now! I was sitting at home, watching the new season 6 episode 1 of My Little Pony! And... Well.. I guess that's it. Wow, that was absolutely useless information, thank you brain, I really appreciate it.

'So uh, what's your name?' I mind spoke to the voice.

Hey, its not like I have anything better to do, what I was looking for was complete kaput, might as well get to know Siri.

'I am drone 101, your majesty'

Ah yes drone, 10- wait what! My blood froze, only one race came to mind at the moment, and I slowly looked down at myself.

I of course did not scream, panic, or freak out whatsoever.

Yep.

Totally.

Anyway, I was chitinous and holy. I scrambled to my feet/ hooves/ whatever, and of course tripped over a conveniently placed rock and slammed my "starting to feel better head" into the hard dirt/sand.

"Ok, rule number one, find place with pillows for ground, then freak out" I grumbled, muzzle imbedded in the dry gritty soil, and slowly started to get up again.

'Your majesty, there was a shudder in the link, are you alright?'

'I'm fine 101' I thought back irritably.

I rose to a sitting position and continued to (calmly) examine myself, I had a maroon underbelly, a bit of a lanky form, a dark crimson shell on my back, sprouting two tattered see-through red wings. My long tail hung down limply on the ground , it of course being a light crimson as well as my long wild mane, both of course had holes.

'Welp, it's confirmed. I'm a fucking Changeling Queen, well, I'm screwed. Might as well drop me of in Canterlot, while you're at it universe', I fumed, and as I continued to fume my right eye began stinging, this of course pissed me off further.

101 had soon gone quiet during my fuming and frustrations with the universe, and once I had stopped, I noticed how quiet it had gotten.

'Sorry about that, today's just not been my day' I apologized.

Hey, nobody wants to just listen to someone bitch and moan.

'It is alright your majesty, we all have bad days' he reassured me, and I looked around.

'Where are you anyway?'

'Coming.'

"Wait! Wha-

A small changeling darted out of some dry brush near me and bowed before me.

'I await your command, your majesty'

Wait, was he waiting in a bush the whole time or- you know what. I'm just going to roll with it. I think I'm out of fucks to give at this point.

As I looked at him (yes it is a him, I can tell by the voice) I noticed he had a different shell than me.

No not like, different shade but more like an entirely different color.

Like I'm a red shell and he has a bright orange one.

Something isn't right here.

"You're not one of mine" I said slowly and the small changeling nodded and bowed.

'My comrades did not make it away from the home hive in time, your majesty, the hive queen is deceased and I ask for you to be my new ruler' he chittered/explained. I nodded my head, it made kind of sense in a weird way. If the big boss gets ex'd find the next big boss then work for them, then a question came to mind.

"What was your queen's name?"

Hey, stuff like this is important. I don't want any spy's among me, and- well, among me.

The drone shifted uncomfortably under my gaze, 'My old queen was Queen Heckle, your majesty' he mumbled.

Images flashed before my eyes, of a thin orange changling queen with a poofy mane, and let's just say, they were not good images.

"Oh." Was all I said.

Trust me, if you had seen the shit I just saw, those would be the exact words you'd say too.

The drone's eyes widened, 'I swear my loyalty to you, my new queen, please don't leave me!' he begged. I looked upon the drone with pity. This drone had seen some serious shit, a pretty good point in my book.

As I looked down at the drone, which had tears in its eyes (how could it have tears, it doesn't have eyelids) I patted him on the head. "Okay, you can join my hive dude, but I'm not calling you 101" I thought for a minute "how about Scout?" I asked, and he looked at me as if I had just slapped Jesus.

He slowly opened his mouth.

I braced myself.

'T-thank you, your majesty' the drone stuttered and sat up straight. 'I, Scout, shall serve you with all my strength until my own death' he swore and then bowed before me.

'What is your command, your majesty?'

I took a sigh of relief, 'Okay, maybe this won't be too bad', I mused to myself, and took a look at the cave near us. "Okay Scout, lets head that way and build a hive" I said and pointed toward the cave, and the drone nodded.

As he was about to take off, he stopped and tilted his head at me 'You don't have a hive?' he asked quizzically, and his eyes widened and he clapped ahoof over his mouth .

I tilted my head, it was a good question, so I replied with the most descriptive answer I could come up with.

"It's a long story"

By god! The detail!

Yeah, yeah, sarcasm aside, I couldn't just tell him I'm an ape from another world. Stories like that would end me up in the Crazy Barn.

As I exited my inner monologue, I noticed Scout had flattened himself onto the ground, and was trembling all over. I slowly looked behind me, and saw... nothing?

I looked back at Scout confused.

What could be terrifying him?

"Uh, Scout... are you alright?" I asked tentatively, and then the floodgates opened.

'Ididn'tmeantoyourhighness,yourwordislaw,Inevermeanttoquestioyou-PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME!' He cried, more tears bursting out his face.

'...Uh, wut'

What just happened?

As stated before, "uh, what"

Brain reboot 25% complete

Okay, I think I caught a bit of that, something about questioning me, I think. Why was this a bad thing? Before I could delve anymore into this mystery, I heard sniffling, I stopped myself and focused on the problem ahead.

I looked down at the small broken changeling, and brought him into a careful hug.

"Hey, it's alright, it's okay, you're fine don't worry I'm not mad" Well not entirely, but heck, I don't mind being a little nutty in MLP land.

After a minute of cradling and rubbing his back, he finally calmed down and stared at me with awestruck eyes, of course he took this moment to change his colors. He burst into flame in my arms, and I of course nearly chucked him across the freaking desert.

Hey, what would your reaction be if a being, in which you were cradling, just spontaneously combusted in your arms.

Yeah, I thought so.

Once the small bonfire in my arms cooled off, I saw a crimson shelled changeling staring at me and he gave me a big smile. "Mother!" He cried, and then my brain crashed for the fourth time.

After that little episode, I found out the small changeling had permanently changed his colors to match mine (This was a natural thing for rogue, feral, or abandoned changelings to do once they were accepted into a hive), in short I now have a legit member of my hive.

Sweet.

I also informed him it was okay to ask questions about my actions, and if he had any good ideas he should speak them. Later, I found out he had made this a rule for the whole hive, but for now the sun had begun to set.

We of course, did the thing that started this ordeal anyway, and went to the cave.

Watching Scout disappear into the cave, I followed closely behind him. 'Might as well make sure he doesn't get killed' I thought to myself and continued farther into the cave. As I walked up to Scout, he had met the end of the cave, and was digging a tunnel downwards.

I looked around, the interior was pretty vast, and though the roof was littered with stalactites, it seemed the long years of existence had worn the walls smooth. By the looks of it as well, nothing had been living here for a pretty long time.

Looking back the way we had came, I could see the cave was pretty deep, leaving only a trickle of light down its yawning mouth.

A good place to establish a hive.

Before I could go any farther though, I felt a great unease in my abdomen. You know it's like when your gut hurts and you just don't know why. Yeah, it felt a bit like that. My body suddenly went into autopilot and I suddenly laid down. What in the world was I do-

oh

Oh.

OH!

Ooooooh hell no!

I sternly looked down at my lower body, 'You better not be doing what I think you're doing' I thought sternly, a small stab of pain was my only reply.

Shit. Well, I think two things might be happening here.

1: I ate something real bad somewhere.
2: I'm laying eggs.

...I'm really hoping for number 1.

But to no avail, my abdomen muscles tightened, and on instinct I pushed.

And a fucking egg came out of my butthole.

Damn it.

Author's Note

You like?

...it makes it easier to dodge when shit goes down

...it makes it easier to dodge when shit goes down

As the first egg hatched, it caused a chain-reaction among the others. Right now, I was sitting among 127 grubs, all in which were climbing, chirping, and staring at me.

I stared.

They stared back.

I stared.

They stared back.

'Welp, this was not what I expected' I concluded, as I continued to stare back.

Then, one of them that was resting on my back raised its little front legs, and squeaked.

*Mama!* echoed through my mind.

My eyes widened, and the other grubs perked up. Immediately, hundreds of little voices filled my head.

*Mama!*
*Da!*
*Lovey!*
*Ma!*
*...umgi*

I scrunched my snout at that one as well as the others. All of them turning and staring at one grub who was sitting in the middle. Its mid-section rumbled and it shrugged.

*Umgi!*

I facehoofed.

'Scout we are going to need at lot more food than planned'

'Why is tha- '

'The eggs hatched.'

'...I'm on it your majesty.'

With that, the connection was cut off and I looked back down at my new children.

They stared at me with wide red eyes, and gave me big toothy smiles and I sighed. Of course, the shear innocence destroyed my composure, and I began nuzzling every one of them.

'What am I going to do with all of you.' I thought to myself as a small smile worked its way onto my lips.

Scout shook his head once the hivemind connection cut out.

'Well, looks like this feeding won't be as easy as I expected' he thought grimly and a few dark specks caught the corner of his eye.

He turned and glanced at it, after identifying it his eyes widened.

It was a changeling raid party.

'Time to take my leave' he thought calmly as he turned to leave the village, and a burly zebra blocked his path.

"I don't believe you're going anywhere" the beefcaked equine said quietly as its eyes flashed purple.

Scout swallowed, 'Hivemother help me.'

I chuckled as I let a few little grubs play wrestle with my hoof, and suddenly a message echoed through the hivemind.

'Hivemother help me.' my eyes widened.

'Scout?!' I messaged.

No reply.

I rose up, Scout was in trouble, but as I looked at my grubs a dark thought came to mind.

'Just leave it, drones can be replaced.' it tried to tempt me and I immediately dismissed it.

'He's my drone and my responsibility. No fucking danger is going to take him from me' I thought with determination coursing through my veins, and I looked at my grubs.

'Children.' I announced and all my grubs looked up.

'I will have to go out and save a hivebrother, do not leave the nursery unless you are in imminent danger' I ordered and my small spawns nodded in acknowledgement and bared their little fangs and hissed at the thought of something hurting one of their brothers.

I eyed all of my grubs "Alright, which one of you was the first that hatched" I asked and one that was to the left raised one of it's forelegs.

I gave a stiff nod and focused on the grub, "You will supervise your younger siblings, any problems and you will notify me" I said calmly and the grub chirped happily.

I looked over the rest of the grubs for any objections (there were none), and carefully walked forward as my children parted to make a path.

'This actually would be pretty cool if the people I was giving a speech to weren't a couple hours old' I randomly thought to myself as I made it to the outside of the nursery.

'Well, never mind I've got a Scout to retrieve.' I thought as I leapt out of the cave, and followed Scout's mind link.

'I'm trapped!' Scout panicked as he was grouped with the rest of the tribeszebras that were surrounded by hissing purple eyed changelings.

As the rest of the raiding party combed through the village, the bigger raiders began to separate the foals from the parents.

"Mama!" The young filly Scout had seen earlier cried, as she was being forcefully pulled out of a zebra mare's arms.

"Zeki! Let go of her you heartless spirit beast!" The mare screamed at the raider, but it ignored her and finally yanked her from the mare's arms. Tears ran down the filly's cheeks as the raider took her off to where they were keeping the foals.

The other raiders noticed him watching and growled as they tore off his disguise, the zebras around him immediately backed away in shock, "Stupid feral." The lead one snarled as they promptly began walking forward.

As he turned to look back at the mare he saw her glaring at him, righteous anger burning in her eyes and Scout looked away, 'I never knew it would end like this' he thought dejectedly as the large changelings got closer.

'I hope have served well' he thought as he faced his imminent doom.

Suddenly, a explosion rocked the village.

The raiders turned-

"What the-"

I crashed into the dirt as I leapt out of the cave. 'Oh yeah, don't know how to fly' I reminded myself, and ran in the direction of Scout's link.

With each step I took I buzzed my wings, trying to get some momentum like an airplane. Eventually my hoof hit nothing and I saw I was flying!

Two feet off the ground.

'Eh, its better than running' I shrugged and I buzzed my wings faster and jerkily shot forward.

Eventually, I saw a village come into view and stopped my wings so I dropped/landed out of detecting range. I saw tons of purple backed changelings flying around, and to my envy they were a lot bigger than Scout.

'Why couldn't I have gotten one of these guys' I thought irritably and then reminded myself why I was here.

'Ok, it looks like there's about thirty of these guys' I examined as I tried to count their flying black bodies, I accidentally looked up at my horn.

'Hey, I almost forgot about you' I thought and tried focus on it.

A few pitiful sparks came from it, and I put together a plan.

'Alright. Maybe, I can use this to cause a small distract-

As I was trying to plan, my focus slipped off my sparking horn and huge magic missle shot from my horn and exploded right in the village.

'...'

"Ok, I guess stealth out of the equation" I said slightly dumbfounded and headed toward the highly dangerous (half on fire) village.

As I made my way around the burning buildings, I saw quite a few of the purple changelings flying above me. They seemed to be occupied with other things, so they didn't notice me as I continued forward. Before I made it to the center of the village, I heard crying. My ears perked up, 'Trouble?' I wondered as I directed off course toward the sound.

I slowly got closer and what I saw disgusted me. Foals. Over at least a few dozen foals were trapped in changeling goo cages (its called chaligite but I call it changeling goo) all in which they were being taunted/guarded by three Scout eating changelings.

I slowly lighted my horn.

'I got this'

Scout thanked every deity he could think of when the changelings that were advancing pulled back when the village caught fire.

Most of the changelings rushed off to help their comrades that had gotten caught in the explosion, but the leader stayed a little longer and glared at him.

"I will come for you later, feral" it spat and slowly walked off.

Scout swallowed at the threat and slowly looked at the remaining changelings for a weakness in their defenses.

Soon, the zebras around him soon got a little braver and one of them eventually stomped right up to him.

"You brought them upon us!" he accused and Scout ignored him.

'Idiot' he mused, but of course his silence was taken as agreement, and the rest of the zebras began to get threateningly close as they threw more accusations.

Before things could escalate any more, a small explosion rocked the village, startling the small mob. Smoke rised to the sky as the huts near them caught fire.

Strangely, Scout felt a familiar presence and slowly turned his head.

Out of the fire and smoke waltzed the insane queen.

"Hello boys"

Author's Note

Hope you enjoyed

Noncanon Christmas (pls don't kill me)

Author's Note

Alright, before you all come for me with pitchforks and butcher knives I just want to explain that I am going through some super messed up technical crap. As well as finals and tons of work stuff, so my update schedule is basically caput. BUT I will continue all my stories (just going to take forever). Right now though I just wanted to get the holidays out of the way so here's a revised version of Carol of the bells.

Noncanon Christmas (pls don't kill me)

A Changelings Carol of the Bells

Hark how the bells,
Sweet silver bells,
All seem a ease,
Young and naive

Hearts warming's here,
Bringing good cheer,
To young and old,
Meek and the bold.

Ding dong ding dong
That is their song
With joyful ring
Mouths watering.

One seems to hear
Words without fear
From everywhere
Filling the air.

Oh how we growl,
Timberwolves howl,
O'er mountain side,
In the moonlight.

Ponies will sleep
While changelings creep
Songs of good cheer,
Hearts warming's here.

Merry, Merry, Merry, Merry Heartswarming,
Merry, Merry, Merry, Merry Heartswarming.

Guards they will send,
Food without end,
Keep your disguise
Practice your lies.

Ding dong ding dong
Ding dong ding dong

Hark how the bells,
Sweet tasty smells,
Look where they lay,
Take them away

Heartswarming's here,
Bringing good cheer,
Grubs will fed,
Ponies gone from beds.

Oh how they pound,
Can't make a sound,
O'er hill and dale,
We shall prevail.

Shrilly they scream
Cocoon muffling
Quivering in fear,
Changelings are here.

Merry, Merry, Merry, Merry Heartswarming,

Merry, Merry, Merry, Merry Heartswarming,

Onwards we fly,
Nearly daylight,
Done with our roam Time to go home.