Meet The Medic Bot

by TheDisplacerOfEquestrias

Rating: teen
Tags: Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Anthro, Princess Luna, Original Character, Science Fiction, Comedy, Adventure, Griffons, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Main 6
Length: 4554

Living for Faust knows how long can be hard, especially if you're a Medic with a Germane accent, you don't care for the sick and dying, and you have a dove named Archimedes who sometimes crawls into your patient's chests... Read on for more, friends!

Medics are usually depicted as your best friend on the battlefield. They care for the sick, the dying, and the injured. They stay back from the action to avoid dying, and they are the most useful in wars.

Well, for this Medic, most of that isn't true.

Meet the Medic Bot, a German Robot that does not care for the sick and dying, does not stay away from the action, and is the enemy's worst frickin' nightmare.

Why?

Because Fuck you, that's why!

((Note, this is Anime MLP, not just anthro MLP.))

Published 2016-10-14 03:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-10-18 21:52:49 UTC

Chapter 1: Meet The Medic... Bot?

"WE NEED A MEDIC OVER HERE!"

"KA-BOOM!"

"AAAHHH!"

"HEAD FOR COVER!"

"BOOM!"

"COVER ME, DAMN IT!"

"ARRGGGHHHH!"

That is all that was heard as the War against the Windigos raged on...

There was blood, dust, explosions, and bodies on the battlefield. The Windigos seemed to be winning against the ponies of Equestria...

Commander Hurricane (Pegasus) was on the battlefield with Smart Cookie (Earth Pony), as Chancellor Puddinghead (Earth Pony) and Princess Platinum (Unicorn) stayed behind the lines of the soldiers, discussing battle tactics, as Private Pansy (Pegasus) and Clover the Clever (Unicorn) healed the injured to the point where they were alive, but not fit for battle.

A Pegasi screamed in pain as his arm was torn off, along with his leg, before getting his skull crushed by a specific Windigo... The Windigo King, King Frostbite.

An Earth Pony foolishly charged at the King, only to get their head chopped off with the King's Blade, the Frostbrand, which is said to unleash a blast of ice at its enemy...

The King smirked, thinking that this was going to be a quick, easy battle against the ponies... They foolishly brought their leaders, who were just begging to be killed! Perhaps they were stupid after all...

Suddenly, the sound of a dying Windigo was heard, making the King, the Windigos, and the Ponies turn to the source, as they saw a lone Windigo with a bonesaw in it's throat, as it choked for air, drowning on its own blood, before it fell, dead, as blood pooled around it...

The King snorted in anger, thinking that one of his Windigos was stupid in thinking that the ponies were to be underestimated...

This made the Windigo soldiers nearby jump back in fear, when suddenly, a bunch of needles were shot from out of nowhere into their eyes, mouth, ears, and noses, before they died from it all...

The King was worried now, thinking that Pegasi were at work... where could they hide!?

They looked around, before the Windigo King was launched back by a being wearing a doctor's coat, a surgeon's mask, but made out of metal, a metal Plague Doctor's hat, and a pair of rubber, rolled up boots, with knee-supports coming out of the rolls...

The King was launched back at least 10 or so feet, as the being who launched him back jumped back, in front of a wounded Unicorn...

"H-Huh?" The Unicorn said, as the being stood up, dusting itself off...

The being then slowly turned to the Unicorn, revealing an odd face...

The being was metallic, almost mechanical, you could say, in appearance, with metallic blue spikes on its head, an orange, glowing eye, and, oddest of all, had a mechanical bird on its shoulder...

The mechanical being then held his hand out to the Unicorn, who hesitantly accepted it, before being pulled up...

The being then got out a weird device of some sort, made out of what looks to be gold, before the being turned it on, as a red beam of some sort from the device, as it latched onto the Unicorn, who was slowly being healed, surprising them all...

When it was done, the Unicorn checked herself, finding herself to be completely healed up...

The Windigos growled, before charging, only for the being to suddenly smirk and get a crossbow out, shooting the leading Windigos in the head, killing them instantly, as the projectiles were, surprisingly, syringes, before the being got out a weird bonesaw out (Amputator), before it sliced through some of the Windigos, as the ponies joined in again, with Commander Hurricane joining in, as Sweet Cookie got the wounded to safety...

After a couple hours, the army the King brought was defeated, but the King had disappeared, retreating, it seemed...

The Ponies all cheered, before One of them went into the tent that Princess Platinum and Chancellor Puddinghead were in, telling them the good news...

Back at the base...

"Alright, what happened?" Princess Platinum asked.

"We don't know. We were all fighting, trying to keep the Windigo from winning, when suddenly, one of them got stabbed with a bonesaw and died. Then, some died from needles, and then, the King was launched back by what looked to be a metal creature, who then went and healed one of the Unicorns." Sweet Cookie said, explaining what happened...

"How did it heal the Unicorn?" Clover the Clever asked.

"Heal?" Princess Platinum asked.

"What did it look like?" Chancellor Puddinghead asked, excitedly.

"Was it wearing anything?" Private Pansy asked, shyly.

But, before they could speak up, a robotic, germane-accented voice spoke "Ladies, I would prefer that you let me speak for myself."

They all stopped, before they turned to the source, only to see the mechanical being standing before them, wearing the outfit it wore before, the Mechanical bird resting upon its shoulder, but with it was a regular dove, but it's feathers were stained red with blood, as it stood on the other shoulder...

The being was smirking, as their jaws dropped, while the being held a Windigo Gem in his hand, with another in his pocket...

"Huh?" They all said, gaining a chuckle from it, before it said "Surprised?"

They all stood silent, before Commander Hurricane asked "Alright, who are you... sir?"

The being smiled and said "I... am the Medic Bot... at your service, Fräuleins."

-----------------------------------------------MEET THE MEDIC BOT!------------------------------------------------

Author's Note

The outfit: https://wiki.teamfortress.com/wiki/Colonel%27s_Coat https://wiki.teamfortress.com/wiki/Practitioner%27s_Processing_Mask https://wiki.teamfortress.com/wiki/Virus_Doctor and finally https://wiki.teamfortress.com/wiki/Lo-Grav_Loafers

And if you are wondering what his Archimedes is (Robotic, Organic, or Undying), he has all three: Organic Archimedes, Mecha-Medes, and Archimedes the Undying. He brings Mecha-Medes out the most when in battle, considering Mecha-Medes can't die, that's a good thing.

And also, he uses every type of Medi Gun, but he is currently using the Quick Fix.

Chapter 2: +1,000 years later...

"Oh-hoh-ho no more!" A Equessian (Russian) voice says, laughing...

The year is 2017, the Month is Oktober, the day is 13, a Thursday, and the time is 1:15 PM.

It is a beautiful morning in the country of Griffinstone, as a certain Germane Robot is working on one of his patients...

...well, if you could call telling jokes while in the middle of an operation "working".

"Wait, wait, wait, it gets better... When the patient woke up, his skeleton was missing, and the doctor was never heard from again! AHAHAHAHA!" The Germane Robot, T.M.S., also known as Turbo Mecha Sonic and, more commonly referred to, as "The Medic," said, before laughing madly...

The patient, a Hippogriff, surprisingly, named Bermuda Antarctic, a marine soldier in the army of Griffins, thought about the joke for a bit, before laughing loudly with the Medic and smacking the table next to him, causing some tools to fall off, but the Medic didn't notice, as he and Bermuda slowly calmed down, before the Medic said "Anyway, that's how I almost lost my medical license... heh...", making Bermuda concerned...

Suddenly, a dove, with some of its feathers stained with blood, popped up from Bermuda's chest (the Medic was doing some heart surgery due to an accident with one of the weapons), surprising both the Medic and Bermuda, before the Medic said "Archimedes! No!", as he shooed the dove, Archimedes, away, only to say "It's filthy in there! Eugh..."

This gained a confused and mildly surprised look from Bermuda, but the Medic didn't notice and said "Birds.", before chuckling...

The Medic then gets a weird device out, with a charge meter with the word "über" on it...

"Now, most hearts couldn't withstand this voltage," He says, as he attaches the device to Bermuda's heart, before he brings it to his stationary Medi Gun's beam, which was keeping Bermuda alive without a heart, as he adds "...but I'm fairly certain your heart...", only for it to explode, as Archimedes is thrown back from his perch by one of the pieces of Bermuda's heart...

"What was noise?" Bermuda asked, only for Medic to reply and say, after recovering from his mild surprise, as he casually removes the remains of Bermuda's heart, "The sound of progress, my friend."

The Medic opens up a mini fridge with some hearts in it, with one being called "Mega Baboon," and he grabs it, saying "Ah, perfect...", as he pulls it out, revealing that, behind the "Mega Baboon" heart, was a decapitated head of Commander Hurricane, somehow being powered by a battery and is alive, despite being a decapitated head, in the back of the fridge, as he says "Kill me.", only for the Medic to reply "Later.", before closing the fridge.

"Now, where was I? Ah, yes, there we go." He says, as he puts the device from earlier into the heart, as he holds the heart up, watching it slowly grow brighter...

He begins to laugh maniacally, Bermuda joining in, laughing nervously...

The über meter slowly goes to full on the device, making the Medic stop laughing and squint his eye, as he leans his head back a bit, expecting an explosion...

Only for it to not happen, making him smile and say "Oh, that looks good.", before he drops it into Bermuda's open chest and adds "Very nice there."

Bermuda looks to the Medic and asks "Should I be awake for this?"

"Ah heh. Well, no, heh.", as he adjusts his glasses, before he adds, struggling to fit the heart in, "But as long as you are, could you hold your rib cage open a bit?"

Bermuda nods and tries to hold it in, as the Medic says "I can't... seem..."

Bermuda suddenly yells in pain, as a crack is heard, before he hold what cracked up, revealing a broken rib, making the Medic and Bermuda look at it tentatively...

"Oh, don't be such a baby..." The Medic says, taking the rib away and pinching Bermuda's cheek, as he says "...ribs grow back!", before he tosses it aside...

He then goes towards a dove that was resting on his stationary Medi Gun and whispers "No they don't.", making the bird cock his head to the side, before flying away, as Medic pulls the Medi Gun towards Bermuda's chest...

The Medi Gun slowly heals the his chest, closing it up...

Bermuda smiles and slowly sits up, a claw over his chest, as he feels the heart beating with ease, before he asks, after inhaling deeply, "What happens now?"

"Now?" He asks, helping Bermuda out and pulling him up, chuckling, "Go and tell your friends and wife, my friend."

Bermuda nods and says "Mind if I take one?"

The Medic laughs and says "Of course I don't mind! Go ahead, my friend!"

Bermuda nods and takes one of the lollipops, a Hydra Meat flavor, as he walks out the door...

The Medic smiles in happiness, as knocking is soon heard from the backdoor to the operating room...

"It's open!" He says.

The door opens to reveal the Griffin King, King Gryphus, as he walks in, wearing his crown and his royal attire...

"Ah, George! I was wondering when you'd come!" The Medic says, grinning as he hugs King Gryphus, or "George," as they Medic calls him, making George grin and chuckle...

George bear hugs the Medic and says "Good to see you, old friend."

"Same to you, George!" Medic says, smiling.

"Another operation done, Medic?" George says, gaining a nod from the Medic.

"It was your cousin, Bermuda Antarctic, this time. Faulty Crossbow error. Don't they know how to make good ones any more?" Medic asked.

"Hey, we're trying, Medic." George says.

"Eh, well, it is getting better, nevertheless... Now, what can I do for you, George?" The Medic asked.

"Well, I got a message from the Princess of Equestria, Princess Celestia..." George said, getting out the message and handing it to the Medic, who accepted it and began to read it.

"She says her younger sister, Princess Luna, has come back from her 1,000 year imprisonment and that she'd like you to come and say hi to her, since it's been a couple hundred years." George explained.

"Hmm... I'm sensing that this isn't the only reason she wants me to come back." The Medic said.

"Let me guess... blueprints?" George asked, gaining a nod from the Medic...

"Although... I guess I can go visit Equestria for a while... I've heard of this neat little town called Ponyville from your daughter, Gilda, so that might be a good place to stay." The Medic says, closing the message up and giving it back to George...

George takes the message and says "Shall I get your apprentice... What was his name again? Lucille, I think... in to take over?"

"It's Lucinda, and yes. And tell your little brother that we'll have to cancel tomorrow's Poker Night." The Medic said, gaining a nod from George...

"Of course." George said.

A couple days later...

"Ah... I'll miss Griffinstone... won't you, Hurricane?" The Medic asked, now in a flying carriage being led by some Hippogriff...

The decapitated head of Commander Hurricane sighed and said "Perhaps. It was quite boring there, honestly."

"I'd have to agree, but it is fun to be around the Griffins and the Hippogriff there... like Bermuda." The Medic said, making Hurricane grin and chuckle...

"Alright, you got me there." Hurricane said.

Author's Note

And so, an adventure begins.

Chapter 3: Equestria.

"Excuse me, Doctor?" A Prench (French) voice asked, gaining the Medic's attention.

"Yes, Silver Shroud?" The Medic asked.

The owner of the Prench voice was none other than the Griffin known as Silver Shroud, a personal friend of both King Gryphus and the Medic, since he saved their lives in the third Griffin War when they were younger (Silver Shroud was 19 back then, King Gryphus was about 34, and Medic was about over 1,000,016 years old... but in pony/griffin years, he's only 601 years old, making him the oldest being to ever live for the ponies and griffins, but he's also as old as his daughter, who ages about as much as the average pony does, while he has a longer aging time).

"We are arriving in Ponyville, Doctor." Silver Shroud said, wearing his military uniform, a Purple Heart below his right pocket, with two badges below his left pocket, and on his shoulder, a badge showing his rank, which was a Commander.

"Thank you, Shroud." The Medic said, smiling as Commander Hurricane's decapitated, yet living, head slept in his suitcase, in his own little "crawl space," as he puts it.

"May I ask what brought you back to Equestria, Doctor?" Shroud asked, flying with the carriage, guarding it.

"You remember Luna, right?" The Medic asked.

"Yes, you call her your little star... I'm guessing you've come to see her after the past 1,000 years?" Shroud asked, gaining a nod from the Medic.

"Yes, but, it's also the fact that I'd like to see what's happened to Equestria in the time I haven't been here." The Medic said, gaining a nod from Silver Shroud.

"I see... although, you may want to take a look at that." Shroud said, before pointing the left of the carriage, making the Medic turn and do a spit take of what he was drinking (hot cocoa, his favorite) from the sight...

...it was a frickin' crystalline castle in the shape of a massive tree!

"Shiza! What in the name of King Nevermore is that!?" The Medic said, wiping his face clean with a spare hanky.

"That's the castle of the new, fourth Princess of Equestria, Medic... the Castle of Friendship, and it is owned by none other than Princess Twilight Sparkle... I believe I asked for her autograph, once, during her coronation." Shroud explained.

The Medic thought for a moment, before he said "Mind going down and asking her to get the other Princesses, Shroud?"

"Way ahead of you." He said, as he flew down.

"SPIKE! STARLIGHT! WHERE IS THE BOOK OF PLAGUES, DISEASES, AND ILLNESSES OF EQUESTRIAN HISTORY BY STAR SWIRL THE BEARDED!?" A voice yelled.

"IN THE LIBRARY, WHERE YOU LEFT IT!" Two voices yelled back, one male, one female...

"THANK YOU!" The first voice yelled, before the owner of the voice, Princess Twilight Sparkle, the owner of the castle, headed to the library.

Princess Twilgiht Sparkle was one of the four Alicorns (Part Earth Pony, Part Unicorn, and Part Pegasus) of Equestria, with Princess Celestia being the Princess of the Day and Sun, Princess Luna, Princess Celestia's younger sister, being the Princess of the Night and the Moon, and Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, also known as Cadance, being the Princess of Love and being one of the rulers of the Crystal Empire (well, with her husband, Shining Armor (Twilight's sister), of course)...

...Princess Twilight Sparkle, however, was the Princess of Friendship, Former Bearer of the Element of Magic (since the Elements have been returned to the Tree of Harmony in the Everfree), and Princess Celestia's Former Personal Student before becoming a Princess.

At the moment, however, Twilight was looking to see if she could find a cure to a certain disease that has been plaguing Ponyville for a couple days now... although she could not determine if it was a disease, a plague, or something similar to the Flu, which was shocking to say the least, since she practically knew everything.

"Alright, so the disease leaves the victim dizzy and lethargic for a day and a half before leaving them bedridden with normal sickness. Seems like the Flu, but why do they have an insatiable appetite after five and a half hours?" Twilight asked herself as she searched the shelves for the book...

Suddenly, there was a knock from the front entrance of the castle, which Twilight could hear from about a yard away, surprisingly.

"SPIKE, STARLIGHT, CAN YOU TWO SEE WHO IT IS!? I'M BUSY HERE!" Twilight yelled, gaining yells of a "yes" or a "sure thing" from them...

... the two that Twilight just yelled to was none other than Twilight's younger (but not in appearance, since he's as tall as the average pony) Dragon brother, Spike, and Starlight Glimmer, a former villain, former mayor of "Our Town," and a former... psycho Equaliser, you could say.

Anyway, the two went to the front door and opened it, before Spike said, his eyes closed, "Yes?"

"I'm looking for Princess Twilight Sparkle." The one who knocked on the door said.

Spike slowly opened his eyes to see one of the most legendary Griffins in the Griffin Empire... a legend known for unimaginable speed and tactics, being able to stop nearly an entire army with his tactics and his speed in battle... this legend as none other than the Seolfor Scrūd of the Griffin Empire, Silver Shroud...

... and at this moment, Spike fainted, making Silver Shroud face-claw...

Starlight bended over to check on Spike, before Silver Shroud coughed to get her attention, making her turn to him.

"Is Princess Twilight Sparkle here, madam?" He asked, gaining a nod.

"She's in the library trying to find a cure for a disease or illness that's been going around Ponyville for the last couple days, so she's not available, I'm afraid." Starlight explained, standing up straight.

"Well, I'm afraid that she may have to stop for a bit." He said, gaining a raised eyebrow, before he added "A visitor from Griffinstone is staying in Ponyville for a week or two for a vacation. He's an old friend of the Princesses and he asked me to ask Princess Twilight Sparkle to send a message to the Princesses, telling them to come over as soon as they can."

"What's his name?" Starlight asked, gaining a smirk and a chuckle, before he said "He goes by the name of Doktor- D-O-K-T-O-R."

"Alright... although, mind helping me wake Spike? He's the only way we can send messages to and from the Princesses." Starlight said.

Silver Shroud nodded and said "Hang on, isn't he the same Dragon that's in love with the former Element of Generosity... what was her name again?"

"Rarity." She said.

"Ah, Yes, her." He said.

"You'd be correct... but how did you know that?" She asked.

"You'd be surprised what can be found in the news." He said, before laughing.

She giggled, before she looked behind Silver Shroud and said "Hey, I think I can see Rarity."

Silver Shroud turned around to see the mare herself, Rarity Belle, walking by, before Starlight said "Hey, Rarity!"

Rarity turned to them and went over, before she said "Hello, darlings... how are you today?"

"Good. Although, someone from Griffinstone is coming to Ponyville for a vacation, and that this someone is a friend of the Princesses." Starlight said, gaining a nod from Shroud.

"Oooh! Who is this someone!?" Rarity asked, gaining a smile from Shroud, before he said "His name is Doktor and he'll be staying in Ponyville for a week or two. He wants the Princesses here to greet him, since it's been a while since they've seen each other."

"Doktor? That sounds Germane." Rarity said.

"That's because it is. He's a Germane Doktor." Shroud said.

"Ah... Well, let's wake my Spikey-Wikey up!" Rarity said, making Spike's eyes snap open.

"Alright, who called me that!?" He said, shooting up, landing on his feet.

Rarity giggled, as Starlight and Shroud laughed.

Spike raged a bit on the inside before calming down and sighing.

After an hour or so, the Princesses arrived after Spike sent the message.

"So, his name is Doktor?" Rainbow Dash said, as she sat in the room the Cutie Map was in, as they waited for this "Doktor" to arrive.

"Yes, he is one of the best in Griffinstone. He even helped the Griffins and the Hippogriffs out back in the last two Griffin Wars." Shroud said, smiling from the memories.

"Wait, the last two? How old is this guy?" Rainbow asked, as the others wondered the same thing.

"Quite old. I think he's in his 40s, if my memory serves." Shroud said, shrugging.

Meanwhile, Celestia, Luna, Cadance, who joined to meet Doktor, Twilight, and Discord (who KNEW someone was coming, just not who) were discussing who Doktor was.

"Doktor... I have the feeling I know someone with that nickname, I just can't remember who." Luna said, trying to remember.

"This Doktor sounds quite exciting, though! I wonder what he looks like, or what he does for a living!" Cadance said, making Twilight giggle, along with Celestia.

"Patience, my dear niece. We will find out soon enough." Celestia said, sipping some of her tea.

"I agree... in fact, this "Doktor" should be coming into the room in 3... 2... 1..." Discord said, before the doors burst open, light shinning in, leaving only a silhouette of the one who opened the doors.

They covered their eyes, as the light slowly died down, before they uncovered their eyes...

... only for most of them to gasp in shock, and making Celestia do a spit take.

In front of them... was the legendary Doktor of Griffinstone... able to heal hundreds of patients at once with his technology, serving in all four Griffin Wars, and is both personal friends with King Gryphus of Griffinstone and the Royal Sisters of Equestria... Turbo Mecha Sonic, or, as he prefers to be called... the Medic!

He smiled, walking in, Archimedes on one shoulder, Mecha-Medes on the other, and his undead dove, Archimedes the Undying, on top of his hat, before he said, grabbing his hat, signalling Archimedes the Undying to get off and onto the shoulder Mecha-Medes was on, "Fräuleins."

This made Luna and Celestia drop their tea cups in shock.

"M-Medic?" Luna said, stuttering.

The Medic turned to Luna and said "Luna, my little star, give your half-uncle a hug, won't you?"

Luna smiled, tears of joy in her eyes, before she ran to him, tackle-hugging him, making Archimedes, Archimedes the Undying, and Mecha-Medes fly off and onto Shrouds's shoulders, before he hugged her back, lovingly...

"Uncle Medic! It's so great to see you again!" She said, crying tears of joy, as she hugged him.

He hugged her back and kissed the top of her head, before saying "It's great to see you too, my little star."

Author's Note

King Nevermore, for those that are wondering who he is, was the previous King of Griffinstone. He is related to King Gryphus, but not in the way you'd think. King Nevermore, also known as King of the Neverlands, oddly enough, had no relatives, and no known ancestors. He came to power on complete accident when he snuck into the castle, killed the previous King (King Alexander Red Harrington), not out of revenge, but by vengeance, since the King previously killed his son, Makuta (nickname Teridax), in the second Griffin War. He came to power when got black paint splashed on him, along with having his eyes accidentally turned red thanks to a Unicorn, and was brandished as the King because of their similarities. Yes, it is a stupid reason, but, had this not happened, Griffinstone would not be the capital of the Griffin Empire, nor would it have been the jewel of the country, bringing prosperity, happiness, and fairness to all.

Also, for those that are wondering "Wait, the message in the previous chapter said that Luna was returning from her 1,000 years, so surely, it would be at the start of the show, but here, Twilight's castle is here instead of Golden Oaks. How is that possible?" Well, I'll tell you. In the show, we see that Spike can send messages to and from the Princesses with ease, and will sometimes send the messages to other ponies, I believe. However, when you DON'T have a Dragon that can send messages almost instantly, these messages can get longer depending on the distance between the sender and the receiver and also how urgent the message is. The message took a year or two to get to King Gryphus, the usual time it takes for the Princesses to message King Gryphus, meaning that Kign Gryphus and the Medic don't know that the message was from a few years ago, and that they are a bit late to the party. So... yeah...

And by the way, Spike is about 18. Dragons age a bit faster than ponies, aging two months faster, but they stop aging when they reach their adult stage, leaving them at an "Elder Dragon"-like state, you could say.

And (finally) yes, Medic is Luna and Celestia's half-uncle. While Luna and Celestia's parents were alone, they found Medic floating in the void. They took him in and made him their brother. After they created the world, Luna, and Celestia, along with the other races, Luna and Celestia called him their half-uncle, since, while he was part of the family, he was not related to them by blood (that, and he has no blood... unless oil counts). However, after the Medic helped with defeating the Windigos, Luna and Celestia's parents disappeared. The Medic raised them for the next hundred years until Luna was banished. The Medic then spent the next hundred years in Germaney and then Griffinstone, helping out those that he could help. Then, the events of the show happened, and yadda, yadda, yadda, and now we're here.