Twilight Attempts to-

by Inez

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy
Length: 8945

Twilight attempts many fun things. They make her act like a silly pony.

Twilight always loves a good problem. Actually, it would be more correct to say that Twilight always loves to solve a good problem. Problems left unsolved make Twilight act like a silly pony.

So today, Twilight attempts to-

A collection of short stories starring purple-smart and her lovely assistant. I don't claim to understand what I'm writing about. This is mainly due to the fact that many of the themes in each chapter pertain to topics that are far beyond my understanding. But that didn't stop me.

Please bolster my self-confidence with nice comments. It makes me feel delightful.
Blehh.

Published 2016-10-17 14:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-10-29 23:00:03 UTC

1 | -Become Immortal

A crash came from down the hall and echoed off the crystal walls of Twilight’s castle. Just a moment later, a little dragon poked his head out of one of the many doors with a frown plastered across his face. He knew of Ponyville’s rather chaotic tendencies, but so early in the morning? Swinging another door wide open, Spike searched for any sign of catastrophe. To his growing dismay, there was no sign of his alicorn roommate.

“Where is she?” Spike said as his eyes darted around the surprisingly empty study room. He winced as the sound of another loud crash shook his skull. Slamming the door behind him, Spike ran in the direction of the disturbance.

Spike was no stranger to the aberrant. It seemed like every other day Ponyville was under attack from mythical creatures or besieged by the villainous. The day’s activities would be thrown to the wind and occasionally reality would be bent backwards on itself, but the Elements of Harmony always found a convenient way to restore some of normality to the town.

Despite not directly seeing anything out of the ordinary, Spike could already guess what sort of trouble he would find himself in today. No lengthy monologue assaulted his ears. No clouds were raining chocolate milk. No epic battles were raging just outside the castle walls. That could only mean one of two things: either Twilight and Starlight were practicing magic again, or Twilight was up to no good. Unfortunately for the young dragon, Starlight was out today on account of many uncompleted friendship lessons.

There was no debacle that could really match the magnitude of one of Twilight’s moments. Just thinking of the few times Twilight pushed herself to the limit sent a shiver down Spike’s spine. Never again would he stick his toes into time travel. He could feel his face twist and form more worried looks. The castle had been amplifying the sounds of crashes and bangs all morning, and he seemed no closer to finding-

BANG!

Spike covered his ears as a loud explosion assaulted his ears from just beyond a nearby door. Not needing a more obvious hint than that, he burst through the threshold to see Twilight limp on the ground with thin smoke tendrils slowly rising from her body. Her eyes looked like they were fighting to keep themselves open as she rolled onto her back.

“Twilight! What happened here?” Spike said as he ran over to her side to help her up. To his surprise, an indignant look spread over Twilight’s face to accompany spastic flailing.

“Spike, stop!” she yelled as she sprung up on her hooves with a newfound vigor. “You’re going to invalidate my data!”

A mix of emotions sped their way through the young dragon’s mind with confusion leading the way. Twilight let out an exasperated sigh and engulfed Spike with her magic placing him squarely across the room without so much as a word exchanged between them. Spike tried to ask her exactly what was going on before he found himself buried in an impossibly massive stack of scrolls and parchment.

Spike poked his head out from the pile of papers only to be met face to face with the frazzled Princess of Friendship. Spike was witnessing first hand one of Twilight’s moments again. In fact, he was surprised she had not completely lost it yet.

“This is no time for questions, Spike,” she said with a crooked smile. Her eye twitched as she disappeared in a burst of magic only to reappear in the center of the room. Twilight tensed her body as she focused on channeling her magic. The air felt alive with electricity as errant bolts of magic landed near Spike causing him to shrink farther back into his impromptu cover. “I need you to get rid of all that data right now. I can’t waste anytime looking at it now that you’ve ruined my experiment.”

“What? How did I-”

Without so much as loosening her stance, Twilight’s eyes turned to stare at him. There was no visible expression on her face sans the look of intense focus, but the intent was no less clear to Spike. She expected action to be taken immediately lest he suffer the consequences.

The young dragon gave a hasty salute as he started to shovel his way through the pile throwing every piece of parchment he could find out into the hall and out of sight. Even though he was working as fast as his body would allow, Spike could still feel Twilight’s eyes burning holes in the back of his skull.

“I’ve been trying to kill myself all morning, but now that you’ve intervened I can’t know for sure that my theories are correct.”

Spike poked his head out of the stack of papers for just a moment with a look of concern dominating his features.

Twilight waved a hoof and shook her head to dismiss his worries. “Don’t worry, Spike. I should be immortal, but this is just to know for sure.” The way she spoke was so matter-of-factly that it did nothing to sooth Spike’s concerns. “I have never once given up on an experiment and today is not going to be the day that those words become lies.” A quiet chuckle escaped Spike as he fidgeted about and scratched the back of his head. Surely Twilight knew what she was doing. If there was one thing that Twilight was certainly known for, it would be her persistence. He hoped it wouldn’t get her into too much trouble like it so often did.

Sensing the effect of her words on her assistant, Twilight let the magic dissipate as the spell completed itself. Her breath slowed and let her composure reasserted itself as she trot over and gave Spike a loving smile. Seeing this less crazed, all-powerful alicorn take measures to regain her composure allowed Spike to calm his imagination choosing have a little faith in Twilight.

“Spike, this is not at all what it looks like,” Twilight said as she began to explain herself. “I’m trying to test this new theory of mine. I call it, the Many Worlds Interpretation.”

Spike blinked.

Twilight dismissed his silence. “It’s actually not that complicated. Let me explain.” She pulled a few dozen scrolls from Spike’s hiding spot. Unfurling a few to show to her assistant, Twilight began to lecture.

“I’ve theorized that every decision we make has a profound effect on reality,” Twilight said pointing at an impressively large diagram of branching bubbles. “Each little bubble in this diagram represents a different reality. Where one path splits into multiple is where a decision was made.”

Spike blinked.

The resounding smack of Twilight’s facehoof was loud enough to cause Spike to wince. “Okay, Spike. Let’s say that I had a fifty-fifty chance of destroying—I don’t know—the whole castle,” Twilight said as she tapped a hoof on her chin. She paused for a moment to consider where to take her explanation next.

“Each time I test the spell, reality splits into two new realities. If I test this spell, say, twenty times and I live, I can say with almost certainty that I am immortal.” Content with her explanation, she began to mull over the details of her experiment. Now that she considered it, the spell she had been using had more than enough kick to flatten every tree from here to the Whitetail woods.

“Uh, hello?” Spike said shaking his arms around to get Twilight’s attention. “That sounds pretty cool and everything, but don’t you think it’s a little too, uh, dramatic?” Jumping out from the pile, Spike began a lecture of his own.

“And what about the times where your spell actually, you know, works? This really seems like a lot of risk just to know something that you already know.”

Twilight giggled and began to charge up her magic once more. “Nonsense! I don’t know if I’m immortal for sure. With this experiment, I can be certain within one ten-thousandth of a percent!” A brilliant flash of light engulfed the room as an earsplitting boom shook the castle once more. Luckily for Spike, he harbored enough common sense to protect himself by covering his ears and shutting his eyes. Only after he was sure that spell had finished did Spike look to Twilight.

A familiar sight greeted the young dragon as he saw Twilight in the same beat up position he had found her in. Spike couldn’t help but run over to make sure that Twilight was alright knowing that he couldn’t live with himself he had chosen not to. While relieved, Spike couldn’t help but feel guilty as the alicorn threw herself into another fit.

“Alright, it’s obvious that I can’t conduct this experiment if I can’t be sure that my decisions alone are the ones being tested,” She said as her horn lit up with a familiar aura floating a strange metal box over to them. “So instead of trying to kill myself, how about we test this ‘doomsday device’ I made?”

Spike deadpanned at Twilight knowing full well the futility of any objections he could bring up. Instead of trying to reason with the unreasonable, he chose the less conflict oriented route and took the strange ‘doomsday device’ into his claws. With a sigh he began to formulate a way to talk Twilight down from her antics.

“Alright, I’ll bite,” Spike plainly said. “I really don’t want to help you ‘doom’ the world, or kill yourself, but what does this thing do anyway?”

“Well, to put it simply, it will collapse space-time unto itself creating a localized black hole anomaly strong enough to destroy the greater Ponyville area.”

Spike let out a relieved sigh and wiped a bead of sweat from his head. As far as he was concerned, this was par for the course. He expected some crazy device that would bring the moon down on the world or something equally apocalyptic. “You’re joking, right?” Spike said setting the contraption down as gently as he could. Maybe if he chose his words carefully, he’d be able to have this whole ordeal over by lunchtime.“That sounds too crazy even for you, Twilight.”

“It is crazy, but I have to know for sure, Spike,” she said with a cheery smile which caused her assistant to jump. “And you know what that means.” And did Spike ever know.

He tried to make a break for the door, but both of them knew it wasn’t going to amount to much. The doors magically slammed shut with enough force to shake any remaining organized books loose form nearby shelves. Spike spun around on a heel to face his tormentor knowing that he was helpless to change his fate. Twilight wore a smile which telegraphed her intentions clearer than any words could. This was anything but reassuring to him. Spike could already tell that she used a substantial amount of sanity to keep up her calm demeanor in the past few minutes. The smile began to grow inch by inch until Twilight’s features were defined by its twisted excitement.

“No! You’re not going to drag me into your crazy ideas, Twilight! I’m not getting in trouble for you anymore!”

“Now Spike,” Twilight said as she nudged Spike over to her ‘doomsday device’. “I think you could at least try and make it up to me considering that you ruined my data.” Giggling to herself, Twilight began to playfully prod her assistant with a corner of her contraption using her magic. It took Spike a great deal of his strength to push her contraption away before he tried salvaging the situation.

“I guess that’s fair, but this thing is dangerous. Think about what would happen to the rest of the ponies!”

Twilight’s magic easily overpowered the young dragon’s physical strength as she poked and prodded the dragon with twice as much enthusiasm. “Funny you say that, Spike, because I already have!”

At this, Spike let out an annoyed cry of his own as he pointed an angry claw at Twilight.

“Alright, you’re out of control,” he said turning towards the pile of discarded scrolls. “I’m telling Princess Celestia.”

Twilight let out a rather unladylike gasp as she lowered herself ready to fight. “You wouldn’t dare!” She flared her wings and launched herself at Spike. “You know she’ll never agree with my methods!”

In a panic, Spike tried to run from the alicorn with a sense of agility that surprised even him. He dodged Twilight’s tackles quite easily considering she was not Equestria’s most graceful flier. And while he may have been able to best Twilight at a game of tag, he could not evade her forever. Twilight grabbed hold of Spike with her magic all the while letting out a sadistic chuckle that sent a chill down his spine. Even as a seasoned veteran of Twilight’s antics, this was a excessive amounts of crazy.

Frantically, Spike thought of ways he could save not only himself, but Ponyville and possibly the rest of Equestria. There was absolutely no way he would be able to free himself from her magic in a timely manner, and judging by the strange noises coming from Twilight’s ‘doomsday device’ there wasn’t much time left.

Through the adrenaline fueled terror that clouded Spike’s mind, inspiration struck and cleared a path to the answers he sought. Turning his attention to the now considerably worn pile of Twilight’s invalid data, he drew in breath and spat dragonfire over each and every piece of paper.

Twilight, seeing the ashes of Spike’s message disappear through an open window, stopped her assault to cry out in defeat.

“Noo!” she said raising a hoof grabbing at the smoke in a vain attempt to bring Spike’s message back to the castle. For the first time that morning, the castle halls fell silent. The two previously feuding friends stood in the middle of the ruined study somewhat patiently awaiting the final outcome of their battle.

It seemed like the time crawled to a standstill as the two waited. “Maybe she’s busy?” offered Spike trying to bring sense back into the conversation. He scratched the back of his head in an attempt to calm his nerves. Flopping onto his back and closing his eyes, Spike resigned himself to whatever fate had in store. Hopefully, the princess would intervene sooner rather than later.

Seeing, Spike’s take on the situation, Twilight beamed. “Well I guess that’s that,” she said as she continued to arm her machine.

With a grunt Spike jumped back to his feet and tried to stop Twilight as she closed in on the final preparatory stages of arming her device. She easily stopped Spike with her magic and her confidence creeped back into her demeanor. The tantalizing promise of discovery edged her forward and no amount of reason was going to get in her way.

It was surprising if not startling when the sun itself quickly rose high into the sky to fill the room the two occupied with a blinding light.

“Twilight Sparkle! What in the name of Equestria are you trying to do with that dangerous artifact!” a voice commanded. Without much more ceremony, the rays of sun seemed to shimmer brightly as one of the alicorn sisters themselves stepped from their godly light in front of Twilight. The air in the room grew thick with tension as Twilight let out a small eek, unable to properly form an answer. In her fright, she failed to notice that she still had a certain dragon in her magical grasp. Before Spike could right himself in the air, he fell unceremoniously onto the ground with a dull thud.

Princess Celestia’s features only showed concern. Twilight took a moment to ease out a breath and smile meekly at her mentor. To her everlasting dismay, Celestia’s motherly composure was equal parts comforting, equal parts petrifying.

The elder princess returned a friendly smile to her student as she took in the state of the world around her. Everywhere Celestia looked there was disorder and destruction. Books lay in massive jumbles at the foot of each bookshelf. Bit of parchment lay scattered about the room and the occasional burn mark stained the walls of the once pristine crystal castle. Through all of this, the Sun Princess’ attention was drawn especially to a worn out little dragon laying sprawled out on the floor.

She chuckled to herself as her magic took Spike gently from the floor and laid him across her back to find reprieve from what must have been an eventful morning. As if her body radiated a soothing aura, Spike felt himself slip slowly into a well deserved sleep.

“Princess,” Twilight said quietly scuffing up the ground beneath a forehoof. “I can explain, really I can. It’s a, uhh, long story though, so I hope you don’t mind.”

Princess Celestia raised an inquisitive brow and turned her full attention towards Twilight. “Oh? Seeing as I’ve attended to my royal duties for the morning, I don’t see what would be keeping me from having lunch with my Faithful Student.”

Twilight’s ears flattened against her head at Celestia’s words. “Lunch already?” she said with a hint of worry. Celestia only looked towards the sun as its light basked the room in a light that had been strangely absent just a few minutes prior.

It didn’t take Twilight long to piece together what Celestia was trying to imply. She swallowed a small lump in her throat as she gestured the Sun princess to follow her to the dining hall for an impromptu lunch. They took a small detour to bring the young dragon atop Celestia to his room. It was only after Princess Celestia closed the doors to Spike’s room did she turn her full, undivided attention to her student.

Twilight shrank back. “It’s not what it looks like!” a certain purple pony started to blurt out as they made their way down the hall.

“Twilight, please-”

“Don’t be mad!”

“Please do not be so quick to make these assump-”

“Don’t disown me!”

“Twilight Sparkle!”

Spike stifled a yawn and stretched out his arms as he woke from a much needed nap. The last few memories that lingered in his mind gave him a headache and even more reason to return to the sanctuary that sleep offered him. Before he was able to weigh the benefits of each option in his mind, the door to his room slowly swung open.

“Ah, I see you’re awake, Spike,” Princess Celestia said. “Can I come in?”

Spike waved in a roundabout in a way which made his intentions clear. “You don’t have to ask me, Princess. I don’t think I could even object if I wanted to.”

The solar princess just wore her trademark smile. “One must respect another pony’s personal space regardless of what they may think of themselves.” At this, Spike let out a small laugh. Happy that the young dragon appreciated her gesture, she walked over and lay herself in a comfortable position on a carpet just a few feet from Spike.

“I think you need to teach Twilight more lessons like that,” he said with a bit of theatrics sprinkled in to complement his words. “She seems a little grab-happy at times.”

Princess Celestia gave only a nod to show her understanding. “Do not worry. I made sure to explain many a things to the young princess,” Celestia said, “There seems to be quite a few things that Twilight needs to learn about life, and you know how she is when she does not know of something.”

The two shared knowing looks before the silence grew between them once again.

“So, did you talk her out of it?”

“Out of what exactly?”

Spike grimaced a little. “You know, the whole ‘I need to find out if I’m immortal for reals’ thing she had in her head?” Spike said thinking back to some of the rather frightening implications of Twilight’s experiments. He shook the thoughts from his head and decided to refocus on the present.

“You have no need to worry. I have her little macguffin in my possession. I also made sure I was very clear about what Twilight should and should not be focusing on with her studies in Ponyville,” reassured Celestia.

“That’s a relief,” Spike said as threw himself backwards into his bed. “Who knows how far she would of gone with her crazy theory. She might of hurt herself!”

The alicorn nodded sagely. “It is a very good thing you got my attention when you did too, Spike. Your Princess of Friendship’s theory is very, very wrong.”

Spike blinked.

“What are you saying princess?”

Spike facepalmed as Celestia smiled slyly gave an all-too-familiar wave of the hoof to dismiss any suspicion. “Oh, Twilight’s body may have changed when she became an alicorn, but let’s just say that she could pass off as the Princess of Good Fortune after the events of today.”

“So, you’re saying that each time I heard an explosion that-”

“Yeees?”

“And her crazy ‘doomsday device’ was actually capable of-”

“Mhmm.”

Pulling the sheets over himself, Spike curled into a small ball and shivered. Seeing this, the sun princess spoke up.

“Would you like me to explain anything else to you, Spike?” she said with a dash of playfulness. Much to her dismay, only a loud groan answered her request. “If anything like this comes up again, do not hesitate to get my attention. It isn’t much trouble at all since I do love visiting you two often.” Nothing came from Spike to answer for Celestia’s sentiment. The princess only laughed to herself as she carefully rose not to disturb Spike.

“If it’s really that bad, I’ll see you both in about a week. Sleep well my faithful subject.”

This time Spike answered; he again did not answer with words, but with another one of his annoyed cries.

Author's Note

In case you didn't notice. I have no idea what I'm writing about. If you like rereading things many times over, feel free to message me. I need someone to tell me to stop using the word 'was' so many times in my stories.

I also appreciate social interaction with others. :)

Blehh.

2 | -Make Friends

Sleep came a little too easily to the young dragon as his eyes slowly opened to moonlight. He groaned and draped an arm over his head to ease the new sensations of wakefulness. Spike was thankful that the guard was here to cover for him. He overslept again. Ponies would probably be banging at his door by now if he had to run everything.

Throwing the sheets to the side, Spike rolled over until he sat on the edge of the bed. His posture was weak and his features did not do much to display confidence. His own responsibilities we not the only thing that weighed on his conscience. For the past few weeks he had to explain to the rest of the girls that ’Twilight was busy and that she was also really sorry she couldn’t be here when the map sent them off to solve another friendship problem.’ Their worried looks made him feel helpless. What was worse was the look on each of his friend’s faces once he expressed his concerns.

After hearing of the increasing frequency of Twilight’s escapades in the quest for knowledge, each were hesitant to step in. He didn’t blame them. They all had their fair share of Twilight’s antics, and he wouldn’t hold it over their heads for not helping him. In a sort of backwards way, Spike was happy that his friends trusted him to care for Twilight.

He thought that it had only been a stroke of luck that Twilight herself hadn’t been called herself. Secretly, he wished it would happen too so maybe the girls would help him convince Twilight to get some fresh air.

“Maybe Celestia was right about her new princess-y powers,” Spike muttered to himself, “She’s lucky that the world puts up with her.” Only then did Spike freeze up from head to toe. He let a shiver travel up his spine, freeing him of the sudden stiffness. Up to now, he quietly accepted the absurdity of the whole ordeal surrounding Twilight and her friends. The girls were more than able to take care of themselves. They were independent mares after all. He just could not help but harbor some frustrations for Twilight.

There was no doubt that Twilight was one of the smartest ponies that Spike knew, and it could be argued that she was the smartest pony in all of Equestria. But where was the logic in avoiding her friends and her duties? What if the ponies of Ponyville desperately needed royal intervention? What if avoiding her friends caused the Elements to weaken somehow?

’It’s reckless. This has gone far enough.’ Spike thought to himself. Somewhere in his mind, he knew that none of these things would happen. What he needed was just a good enough reason to convince himself to confront Twilight.

Despite this section of the castle grounds being off limit to the general population, guards had every right to walk the halls. Various lunar guards gave a quick salute before returning to their patrols around the castle. There were no real restrictions to their movement sans a large ’KEEP OUT’ sign that hung over a single door. Its bold red color and rather large font made sure that nopony could mistake the sign for anything less than a warning. Spike, however, paid no heed as he began to pound on the door.

“Twilight! You’ve been holed up in there for weeks. You need to come outside already!” Spike demanded.

To his surprise, the doors swung open with enough force to launch him clear across the hall. Spike found himself only inches from the opposite wall before he felt a familiar aura envelope his body.

“Ah, Spike. I could use a helping hoof,” Twilight said as she brought Spike into the room. Slowly, Spike entered the maelstrom of parchments. The sheer quantity of research formed an unholy union of abject horror and morbid fascination on his features.

To say that a tornado swept through the room just a few moments prior to the dragon’s arrival would truly do no justice the magnitude of chaos present. Twilight had managed to coat every single surface in countless charts and graphs. It seemed as if somepony had attempted paper mache but forgot the paste. Spike could not even begin to ask before his gawking was abruptly stopped by a familiar mountain of paper.

“I need you to hang up these new star charts in designated sectors of the room,” Twilight said with a bit of coarseness in her voice. Spike, not appreciating the relegation to sorting duty, felt his frustrations exploded from the stack of parchment and gave his friend a pointed glare with a pointed claw to match.

“Twilight, are you even listening to me? You’re out of control again!”

Suddenly, the air began to crackle. Twilight’s focus was not on her assistant originally, but all bets were off as she snapped the pen held in her magical grasp. The sound of heavy grindstones in motion could almost be heard as Twilight turned to face Spike. A shiver returned to the dragon as his unconscious mind begged him to run. It wasn’t the sudden disregard for stationary that worried him. It was moreso Twilight’s flat expression.

“What did you just say?”

Spike closed his eyes and swallowed back his fears. Twilight’s mane was far removed from its clean cut and straightened appearance. Her eyes were bloodshot with dark circles dominating her eyes. If one took a closer look, they would notice that one eye was intensely focused on the young dragon; the other was thoroughly content to go on a field trip while the teacher wasn’t looking.

Spike quietly weighed his options. He made a mental note to come more prepared for Twilight’s antics if this was going to be a monthly occurrence. Really, all he needed to do was vie for some extra time. He was good at that sort of thing at least.

Twilight narrowed her eyes and took a step forward. It really made no difference to her if Spike responded or not. She had weeks to prepare for their inevitable conflict.

“You heard me, Twilight,” he said after gaining back some of his confidence, “Why are you avoiding your duties so much? It’s crazy late.. Not only that, but what about being the Princess of Friendship? Avoiding your best friends and the ponies of Ponyville doesn’t seem very princess-y.” Spike could only jump as any confidence retreated from the battleground upon hearing the giggling of a manic unicorn.

“That’s just it, Spike. I am attending to my duties!”

Twilight could clearly read the confusion written across her assistant’s face. The doors behind them swung shut. Her threatening mood was all but gone as she happily flipped a switch in her mind, lecture mode fully engaged.

“What if there are other’s out there?” she began.

“There are others out there. Plenty of-”

Twilight shoved a hoof onto Spike’s mouth before he could even finish his statement. “No, I’m not talking about anypony in the castle. I’m not even talking about anypony in the entirety of Equestria.”

Spike used a claw to gingerly move the hoof invading his personal space.

“Sooo… Griffons and-” Spike asked.

“No. No, Spike,” Twilight said gesturing to the room as a whole with a sweeping gesture of her wings. “Think bigger. Much, much bigger than even the zebra, dragon, and griffon lands.”

“The sea beyond the frozen nor-” Spike stopped mid-sentence once again as he was picked up and rattled violently by Twilight’s magic.

“Space! Don’t you see it, Spike? Space! There could be ponies in space!” It was only after the frantic flailing of the dragon did Twilight set Spike back down onto the ground. Spike’s eyes rolled around in lazy circles as he tried to re-orientate himself in the room. After a quick shake, he focused back onto Twilight who had taken it upon herself to fly across the floor to a nearby wall of parchment.

“Look. I’ve spent the past few nights observing the night sky for any sign of life.” she said, gesturing to Spike to take a closer look.

“Has it ever occurred to you that we might not be the only ones out there? There are thousands—millions, no, billions—of stars out there in the night sky. I’ve been making star charts and cross referencing them with old charts that go back all the way to the days before the founding of Canterlot. It’s taken me weeks to chart the movement of some celestial bodies, but I’ve finally done it.”

Twilight flew over to the opposite side of the room to point to yet another massive wall of yellow charts. It was difficult to make out in the moonlight, but Spike began to notice the advanced age of each piece of her expansive puzzle. Some of the research strewn around the room looked old enough to be an exhibit at the museum, not part of some crazypony’s wallpaper.

“Well, it’s kinda hard to compare them all from here-”

“They do!” Twilight screeched out, cutting off her assistance once more. “Not only that but I also managed to find charts that predate the rule of Celestia and Luna themselves.”

The new wealth of information was not too complex to elude Spike’s understanding, but the late hour did put a damper on his ability to flex his mental muscles. “Alright, I guess it’s neat and all that you can accurately map the stars, but what does this have to do with your duties as the Princess of Friendship and the Element of Magic?”

Twilight’s mane seemed to come alive with an invisible static as she smiled at an opportunity to divulge another in her work. “I believe that Celestia and Luna are lying about their powers.”

Spike only managed so much as a gasp before a purple hoof stifled his cry. Twilight angrily shushed him. Only after she was sure that Spike wouldn’t squeal did she pull back.

“Twilight!” Spike said as his eyes darted around the room. “-You can’t honestly believe what you just said, can you? You’re a student of the Princess after all!”

A light shimmer enveloped the room as Twilight began to float paper after paper over to Spike. With each passing scroll, Twilight became more crazed.“That might have to change now that I’ve found out the truth, Spike. The Princesses are lying about their ability to control the skies and I have proof-”

This time it was Spike who clamped shut the mouth of somepony who was speaking a little too much. Once he was sure that Twilight had nothing more to say, he darted towards the door. Peering outside, he was thankful to see that none of the lunar guard had moved through the halls and overheard their conversation.

“You can’t say things like that! That’s, like, like, it’s like high treason! Heresy!”

“Pfft,” Twilight responded with a cocky grin, “Heresy, Smeresy. I have my duty as the Princess of Friendship. If anything it is the princess’s fault that I haven’t been able to carry out my duty to the fullest.”

“You’ve got to be confused. What kind of crazypony would be as insane to accuse the princesses for something that’s obviously not their fault.”

Twilight rubbed her temples as she let out an exasperated cry. She dove over to the mountain of scrolls and levitated a few towards Spike for him to see. “Occasional retrograde planetary motion? Variable photometry? Stellar parallaxing? Shadows existing? Come on, Spike! Everything here points to my theory that we are not the only planet out there in the sky. Even you have to admit that it’s hard to ignore the evidence.”

Spike only blinked in response. “Right, let’s both pretend that I know what you are talking about. What does any of this have to do with friendship?”

“This has everything to do with friendship! I’ve studied the works of Clippurnicus and Gallopleo. All of their observations points to the idea that this world orbits the sun and not the other way around. Who’s to say that this isn’t true for every other star in the night sky?

“There are billions of stars out there, Spike, and each of them could have their own little planets with intelligent life just like here in Equestria. If I’m going to be the Princess of Friendship, then I’m going to become friends with every single being out there.”

Spike deadpanned at his alicorn companion. It was clear that she was too far gone. Aliens he could believe. But heliocentrism? That was just plain heresy. He hoped that he could find a way to resolve her antics without bringing in the princesses again, but once again he was left with no choice.

“Right. Okay. I’ll just have to get Princess Celestia to knock some sense into you again.” Drawing in a deep breath, Spike aimed his dragonfire around the room and let the flames reach every undusted corner and forgotten hideaway.

“Nice try, Spike, but I already planned ahead,” Twilight said cutting the dragon’s assault short. “I made sure each and every piece of my research in this room was made fire proof. Even I’d be hard pressed to set off a spark.”

Hearing her words, Spike relented for a moment to verify things for himself. Much to his dismay, Twilight was one-hundred percent correct. His dragonfire did not even burn the smallest piece of parchment. As far as he could see, his flames didn’t even leave the slightest charred mark on anything in the whole room. Twilight did not hesitate to revel in her victory. She began to get giddy with anticipation once more.

“Well, I guess it can’t be helped. Might as well help me get started with mapping out the stars. We’ve already wasted enough time as it is.” Twilight was not even halfway finished with adjusting her telescope before she heard the fluttering sounds of paper fill the air.

“Guards! Guards! There is a crazy heretic here in the castle!” Spike frantically screamed as he rounded a corner. Scrolls and charts flew from his body as he struggled to hold onto each bit of incriminating evidence. “They believe in heliocentrism!”

Twilight jumped at Spike’s words. Her being a heretic? An accusation like that was heresy! With a powerful flap of her wings, Twilight made her way down the hall after the young dragon.

Deeper into the castle, Spike had barely a moment to react before the shadows themselves seemed to solidify in the form of an armor-clad lunar guard. “Heliocentrism?!” a voice said from the darkness. The young dragon slammed into a foreleg of the batpony and came to a full stop. The guard did not even flinch as he looked down to Spike.

“Sir, we heard thy concern,” the batpony said quickly, “Please, lead us to this heretic posthaste.”

Shaking his head to regain his senses, Spike looked to meet the captain’s gaze. “Captain Sunshine! I’m so glad you’re here!” Spike said as he peeled himself from the captain’s armor. The batpony stood attentively, watching the halls with an uncovered eye before giving an affirmative nod. Sunshine always saw Spike hard at work around the castle. He was happy that the young dragon’s duties also extended to hunting down heretics.

While the guard could barely understand what Spike was spurting out, he knew that it had to be nonsense. ’Stellar parallaxing? Surely, it must be some form of black magic. Sunshine’s reassuring composure was soon changed to that of mild concern as he pointed a hoof to something just behind Spike. Across the hall, a disheveled Princess of Friendship appeared.”Thy thanks can be saved for later, sir. Right now we have more pressing matters on our hooves.”

It had taken Twilight a while to find Spike. While she could have easily used her magic to stop him, he had to be within her sight for her to get a good grasp on him. Anything less and the dragon would probably be able to wiggle free without much effort.

“Princess Twilight, forgive my forward behavior, but are thou feeling well this evening?” he said stepping between the alicorn and her assistant. Truthfully, the captain already had a good idea what had gotten the Princess of Friendship in a tissy. He only hoped that his banter would vie more time for his brothers to act on his behalf.

Twilight gave no response as she began to take slow steps towards the two. Sunshine readied himself and bared his fangs not willing to give ground. He had known about Twilight’stendencies no thanks to Spike, but it was not the first time he had been clued into the situation. Both royal sisters expressed concern for the new princess once they caught wind of her strange behavior in recent months. It really was no consequence of for them to send some guards over to keep an eye on her.

“So, could it be that our own Princess of Friendship is the heretic that has been causing so much trouble on the castle grounds?” Sunshine said glaring at the alicorn in question.

Twilight’s horn lit up with magic as she tried to pull her scrolls from Spike’s grasp. It was only by some miracle that the dragon held fast. “It may be heresy,” she said, “but I’ll gladly be branded as such if befriending everypony is seen as heresy.”

“Nay, Princess Twilight. Thou are within thy own right to speculate on life beyond the veil,” the batpony began, “But heliocentrism? Again, please forgive me, but even thou must see the heresy of thine beliefs!”

Twilight’s horn flared with each syllable as she spoke to Sunshine. “Heretic or not, those space ponies need friendship. Nopony has to know.”

“We can say with good faith, Princess Twilight, that thine interests need not lie in the two that stand before thou,” a mature voice echoed throughout the halls. A sudden flash of light filled the room, breaking Twilight’s concentration and blinding the lunar guard confronting her. Only after the magic slowed to a shimmer did the ponies in the hall see the lunar princess.

True to her word, Princess Luna seemed to have the full attention of Twilight. The young princess felt her ears flatten against her head. She tried to answer for herself, but Princess Luna would not allow it as a hoof rose to silence her. Without wasting another second, Luna stepped forward to meet the three standing in the hall.

“We would first like to extend our thanks to Captain Sunshine for informing us of the situation here in Ponyville,” she began. The captain gave a short bow in response. With a nod, Luna continued. “Captain Meadowlark spared no effort in gaining our attention.”

Hearing a familiar name, Sunshine’s ears perked up. “It is good to hear of my brother’s success. Thought, I see that he is not accompanying you, Princess. Is there something else of pressing concern that the guard should be informed of?”

“Aye,” Princess Luna said with a smile on her face, “We have tasked Captain Meadowlark with cleaning out Twilight’s observatory of all her research.”

A unladylike shriek came from the pony in question. “No! You can’t do that!”

Luna raised an inquisitive brow towards Twilight. “And pray tell, what reasoning would there be for a Princess of the Night to not look into the work that details the workings of her domain?”

Twilight fidgeted about for a moment trying to collect her thoughts. She peered around to the others longly for any sort of help. Her pleading looks were easily brushed aside by Captain Sunshine’s years of service to Luna. Spike was not much better. From behind Captain Sunshine, he only offered a small nod to Twilight. To him, the gig was up.

“Well?” Luna asked impatiently.

Twilight swallowed back her hesitation before she spoke. “It’s just that if you confiscate my research, I’ll never be able to find all the friendless ponies out there beyond Equestria.”

Princess Luna chose not to respond. Instead of trying to speak with words, she would first try to sway Twilight with her actions. There was a brief moment of awe shared by all those present in the hall as the lunar alicorn’s horn lit up with powerful magic. The halls began to glow in the pale moonlight as the alicorn moved the moon itself. Even the stars that dotted the night sky seemed to contribute the heightened majesty of the evening.

The magical aura dissipated from the princess’s horn as she turned to face Twilight. “Is it not obvious that my sister and I control the heavenly bodies?”

“But- but- bu-” Twilight stammered, “ Everything lined up so perfectly. All the stars in the sky matched previous observation, even the movement of the planets were all screwy.”

Luna raised a brow. “Movement of the planets? That sounds not of something we would add to the night.”

At that, Twilight’s wings flared. It looked to be an opening for her to explain herself. “But it’s true, Princess! The there are brief windows of time in which some planets begin to move back on themselves. How else can the be explained but through heliocentrism?”

“Silence!” the lunar princess roared. Her sudden display of force nearly toppled all those present in front of her. “Have thine observations directly pictured these planets? What evidence do you have to support your claims!”

“That is, uhm,” Twilight sputtered. It was true that she had not confirmed that these points of moving light had been planets. Her telescope had not been powerful enough for her to directly observe the celestial bodies. Much worse, no attempt to magnify the image had ever seen success. Before Twilight could form the words, she noticed another lunar guardpony appear with a few scrolls tucked beneath a wing.

The new arrival dropped to a bow before presenting his findings with a hoof. “Please excuse us, Princess Luna. We have retrieved the evidence you require to convict the heretic.”

Taking the charts with her magic, Luna began to go over each slowly. The whole party of ponies and dragons in the hall stood in silence as the lunar princess browsed Twilight’s research. Not a soul spoke fearing instant reprimand from the elder alicorn. It was not long before Luna finished reading through what had brought to her. Looking back to the group of ponies, she smiled.

“Excellent work, Captain Meadowlark. Though, we have no need for any of these scrolls. There will be no trial. The Princess of Friendship has only chanced upon a misunderstanding.”

“What!” both Twilight and Spike managed to exclaim in unison.

“Aye,” Princess Luna said with a sage nod, “This is just a misunderstanding of how my sister and I control the heavenly bodies. Thy theories pertaining to the movement of ‘planets’ and other inconsistencies in the stars can be amounted to ourselves. We are still quite novice at painting the night after so many years of absence.”

Twilight pointed an accusatory hoof at Luna. “You can’t just dismiss scientific evidence with ‘I messed up’. That makes no sense!” Her words prompted the two lunar guards to spring to life. Soon enough, they stood in front of their princess. Their leathery wings flared up and a scowl spread across their faces.

“How can one even dare to accuse the alicorn sisters of any transgression!”

Twilight just rolled her eyes. “It’s just too convenient,” she said snatching a scroll away from Luna. “Who’s to say that Princess Luna isn’t just making things up.”

Stepping forward between her two Captains, Luna eased their aggressive natures with a wave of her hoof. The two batponies were well trained, that much was true, but even they struggled to bite back words. They bent to the ground to bow to the Princesses of Equestria before standing down.

“Now would be the time to convince us of your research, young Twilight,” Luna said simply.

Twilight smiled. “Retrograde motion?”

“There are many stars in our night. We are embarrassed to admit that we cannot control each aspect of the stars. In due time that issue will correct itself.”

“Stellar parallaxing?”

“Princess Twilight, are you suggesting to us that your instruments are accurate within one ten-thousandth of an arcsecond? Can you be so sure? Even the royal observatories struggle with measurements that small.”

“Oh…-Er, what about the shadows! The sun and moon would not cast shadows is they orbited Equestria.”

“That is explained simply by the rotation of Equestria itself.”

Wisps of smoke began to hover from Twilight as her frustration grew. The way that the lunar princess managed to swat each of Twilight’s theories down was starting to grate on her nerves. And the fact that Princess Luna did so nonchalantly with no scientific evidence to back up her claims did no better to calm Twilight. The younger princess loaded a new batch of questions into her mind, ready to spout them at her fellow princesses with breakneck speed.

“Variable luminescence.”

“Atmospheric scattering.”

“Midnight sunlight?”

“A tradition of our sister.”

“Oh. I guess that also answers for polar nights…-The North Star?”

“It makes a good starting point for us.”

Just a ways away from the interrogation, Spike chewed the ends of his claws. The conversation between the two princesses was tame for now, but how could he be sure that would last? Two lunar guards shrugged and resumed their duties around the castle prompting a surprised look from Spike. Afraid to speak up and face scorn from his princess like the batponies, he pantomimed his concerns to the guards. They shook their heads to dismiss his worries. To them, the outcome of the debate was already decided. If the Princess of the Night could wait 1000 years to return to Equestria, then she would be able to weather a few nosy questions. They ushered the young dragon to follow them away from the two alicorns. It would be best to leave them to finish their conversation in private.

Celestia rose from her throne as her court adjourned for the morning. She knew that the ponies would soon return with their various proposals, but that would have to wait for the afternoon’s court. There was more pressing matters to attend to. The guards opened the door for their princess’s exit to which Celestia gave a smile of appreciation.

“Please return for the afternoon’s court if you wish for your proposals to be heard,” Celestia said simply. “If you all will excuse me, I have some obligations to attend to. This court is adjourned.”

Ponies shuffled about and made their way out the door after their solar princess. Some lingered and huffed at the notion that their hearing would be put off yet again. Others made their way down the halls in a hurry. Celestia found herself among the latter group as she stepped onto a nearby balcony and took flight. This earned her a confused look from most of the ponies on the castle grounds. Normally, the princess walked through the halls of the castle. It was not only for the sake of appearance, but also for the fact that Celestia enjoyed the company of the castle’s many residents. It was rare to see her in a hurry.

’A small luxury such as that is no consequence.’ she thought to herself.

It was true, she had just received word of her sister’s return to Canterlot just moments before her morning court ended. And while Celestia did not know the details of her sister’s visit to Ponyville, she had—on good authority—an idea of what happened.

A short flight later, Celestia landed gracefully on the flight balcony of the castle’s Royal Observatory. There would normally be a pair of guards posted there to greet her, but they had been personally dismissed for the day. The princess let out a sigh as she folded her wings and walked into the tower. Not too far from the balcony was a rather ornate looking door that led to the main observatory. Without much ceremony, Celestia swung the doors open with her magic eliciting a low hiss from her younger sister.

“Celestia! Close the doors. You are making our work more difficult,” Princess Luna said angrily.

Celestia walked into the tower room and shut the doors behind herself. “I’m sorry, sister. I heard what had happened and came as soon as the morning court ended.”

The lunar alicorn scoffed at her sister’s apology. Luna was not scornful of her elder sister. It was really that the events of the previous night wore her patients thin. Twilight was no doubt a brilliant scholar and spared no detail in her search for the truth. It was directly because of these details that Luna had toiled all morning to perfect the illusions that surrounded the entirety of their world.

“Thy ‘faithful student’ was quite adamant about her theories, sister. Maybe you should reconsider who to take under thy tutelage,” Luna said while perfecting some of her illusions.

“Ah, dear sister, do not be like that. You know as well as I do that Princess Twilight is just trying to carry out her duties as the Princess of Friendship,” Celestia said with a smile lacing her words with humor. “I’m sure you could understand her reasons for going to such lengths to fulfil her duties.”

Luna did not answer as she grit her teeth and continued to strengthen the veil of her illusions. She did not like to be reminded of her time as the nightmare, but she knew that her sister was just trying to play to the irony of the situation. Noticing her younger sister resist her antics, Celestia walked over to help Luna with strengthening the sky with magic.

“You have done great work with the Veil, my dear sister,” Celestia said as her magic poured into the magic around Luna.

The lunar princess gave a small nod as she focused the new magic into her spells. “Yes, it should be enough to cover the movement of the heavenly bodies from any observer for a while longer.” Luna said. Noticing her elder sister’s intentions, she let her magic fade.

“Do you think it will be long enough for us to properly explain to Twilight our true secrets?” Celestia said as she took control of the spells that powered their illusion.

“The secret that we don’t really control the heavenly bodies?” Luna said turning away from her sister.

“I mean the secret that there is really life beyond our world.”

Luna let a cold shiver run down her spine. “That would most definitely be the end times for us. The ponies of Equestria would be easy to calm, but there is no telling of the chaos Princess Twilight would enact to befriend the countless others in the universe. She must not be allowed to know.”

“Agreed.”

Author's Note

"What did you just say?

I didn't like my first draft of this chapter. Here is the alternate version of this chapter. It is different from this current chapter because it includes a little intro part. I decided half-way through that it was unnecessary, so I cut it and rewrote the evening scenes to reflect the change.
You don't ever learn do you, Purple-smart? Blehh.