And to the Victor Goes the Spoils!
You are Anon, and you have been to Hell and back again—which was a nice vacation compared to the shit you’ve been through today.
And what a shitty day it’s been. Here you are, deep within the bowels of a changeling hive—which is in the middle of bumfuck nowhere out in the badlands—with only your trusty baseball bat—which was now bent—and covered in changeling blood and tears. Mostly tears.
Changeling’s don’t seem to bleed a lot. Even when you’re beating them about the head with an iron bat… which is strange.
Also, the tears are totally the changelings’ tears, not your own. Just for clarification.
Anyways, why are you deep within the bowels of a changeling hive with nothing but the clothes on your back and a baseball bat, you might ask? Well, it’s because these motherfucking changelings thought they could just up and kidnap/impersonate your closest friends without anyone noticing or doing something about it!
...well, impersonate your friends.
...your acquaintances.
...the ponies you see on a daily basis.
Okay, fine, they kidnapped Twilight and her friends, which would normally be totally fine with you, but Rainbow owes you, like, fifty bits and there’s no way you’re letting her get away with that shit. Plus, like Fluttershy is the only pony you know that can find you meat on a weekly basis… and Rarity has your measurements memorized in case you need new clothes.
...okay, so maybe you do need them, but that’s beside the point. Admittedly, you actually liked the sudden change in personality. The changelings impersonating the girls were certainly nicer than the originals… and the new Fluttershy didn’t show up outside your door early each morning to ask you stupid questions.
No, you’d be fine with this turn of events… except for one thing: the changelings also took Luna and Celestia! Moonbutt… well, she was kinda creepy… and weird. You didn’t really care for her much, actually, but Celestia has been captured! Sunbutt is in danger, and that is one thing you cannot allow!
And so it was off to save the colorful little pains in the neck.
It took some intense interrogation of the changelings you ‘caught’ in Twilight’s library (i.e., ~~cuddling with them while scratching their bellies~~ waterboarding, car batteries, and boy band music) you learned that the kidnapped ponies had been taken to the changeling hive which was located in the badlands.
And so you had grabbed your baseball bat and headed out immediately.
Across the wasteland you rode upon a swift steed—if by ‘swift steed’ you mean a cranky old donkey that complained the entire way as he trundled along. It was rather annoying, actually. Besides, what did he have to complain about? It wasn’t like he was doing anything important today anyways. And you made sure his stupid wig was returned when you reached your destination. He didn’t have to be such an ass about it either; it wasn’t that nice of a wig.
It hadn’t been that hard finding the entrance to the hive. The hole thing stuck out like a sore thumb. And no, that wasn’t a grammatical error. The entrance was literally a hole-like thing in the ground. A massive hole, nearly fifty feet wide with weird spirals and statues surrounding it. And a dozen or so changeling guards.
...and a few dozen more waiting within the entrance.
...and another few dozen further down the hive.
Like you said, not very subtle.
Anyways, that’s the gist of what’s happened so far today. Changelings kidnapped Twilight and her friends, Moonbutt, and your sunny waifu, and you’re here to get them back… and you may or may not have knocked several dozen changelings senseless on your way down into the depths of the hive. It was hard to tell, seeing as you ~~were running and screaming and crying with your eyes closed as you swung the bat around at random~~ had blood and sweat in your manly eyes.
And now we’ve come full circle. You are deep within the changeling hive, searching for the captured ponies. Sunlight has long since stopped filtering down from the massive hole above. Instead the pitch-black tunnels are illuminated by weird green luminescent patches of moss and mushrooms. The light they provide is faint, just barely enough to see by. Still, it’s better than nothing.
Though, it doesn’t really matter if you can see or not. The twisting turning labyrinth would be just as confusing if you could see perfectly. You’re pretty sure you’ve circled back around the same passages once or twice… and now you’re positive you have. There’s that rock that looks like a Tronald Dump; it even has a glowing moss comb over. Shit! You’ve past by him at least four times now!
Welp, time to pick a different passage.
Luckily enough, the changelings appear to have backed off, as you haven’t bumped into any of them since entering the tunnels. They must be scared of running into you in these narrow tunnels (seriously, super narrow… and tiny. You have to stoop to stop from hitting your head on the ceiling). Either that, or they’re all grouped around the prisoners, waiting for you to arrive, and you’re in the wrong part of the hive and the changelings are all starting to wonder where you wandered off to.
This place is one huge mindfuck. Why are you doing this again?
...oh yeah, Celestia. You’re here to save Celestia… and the others, but only if there’s time. Sunflank’s safety comes first, after all. You can almost see the grateful look on Celestia’s face when you free her from her imprisonment. She’ll be so happy that she might have a feast in your honor. Maybe you’ll get invited to the castle. Maybe you’ll be allowed to sit next to Celestia.
M-maybe she’ll give you a kiss as a reward! A kiss! On the cheek! Oh, that would be the best thing ever! But you have to save her first, so there’s no time for daydreaming!
Onward, Anon! Sol vult!
Giddy with renewed resolve, you pick a new tunnel and press forward. This one begins to slope even further downward and begins to spiral. Once or twice you slip on a weird, viscous liquid, but you manage to keep your footing. Rubber sole shoes for the win!
The tunnel begins to widen as it continues to descend, and soon enough you no longer have to crouch. The amount of the gel-like substance on the floor and walls grows as well, and despite being somewhat slippery, it doesn’t impede your descent.
After a few minutes of slipping and sliding, you emerge into a cavern-like room. The floor slopes gradually down from the edges of the walls, forming a shallow, bowl-like depression in the center, where a large pool of glowing green gel is located. Stalagmites jut up from the floors, while high above in the gloom stalactites dangle like teeth in a maw. The sound of dripping water echoes throughout the room.
Your eyes wander around the room for a moment before you spy something along the far wall. Several dozen pod-like structures dot the wall at various heights. They are filled with a green bioluminescent substance that glow softly in the gloom. Each pod contains the curled-up form of a pony, their forms darkened against the glowing goo.
Jackpot!
You scan the room one last time to check if any changelings might be lying in wait. There’s a surprising lack of them though. Oh well. Not seeing any threats hiding in the shadows, you quickly make your way across the room to the wall of pods. As you near them, you are able to start picking out individual ponies floating in the goo. Some of the sleeping faces are familiar, while others you’ve never seen before.
Reaching the pods, you begin to search through the occupants. The first one contains a white unicorn mare with a sick pair of shades over her eyes. In the pod next to her was a batpony mare whose face was scrunched up in a look of annoyance… wait, was that a bottle of booze in the pod with her? Okay, that’s a little weird, but you don’t dwell on it. The third pod is home to a very familiar and very annoying mint-green unicorn with a rock on her butt. Oh yeah, she can definitely stay in there.
Giving her a look of contempt, you move on.
You pass by quite a few other ponies in your searching. A pink pegasus mare with blonde mane. A green earth pony stallion with… a fedora—okay that’s weird. There’s Big Mac… and Granny Smith. Why they took her, you aren’t sure, seeing as she is old as sin and will most likely be dead within a week. A crimson pegasus mare with two-toned red mane and tail. A gray unicorn mare with black mane. A weird white tarantula with a red ring on top of its abdomen. A stallion with mustache—wait, hold the fuck up!
Backtracking, you stare bemusedly at the spider. There’s a spider. In a pod. There’s a spider in a pod that’s meant for a pony. There’s a tiny-ass spider taking up an entire pod that could hold a pony. He’s just floating around in the gel by himself. The changelings actually put a spider in a—you know what, fuck it. You don’t have time for this craziness; you have a princess to save.
You increase your pace as you glance in the pods at random, searching for a specific pony. Or ponies, you guess. You should probably be looking for Twilight and her friends as well, but really, you want to find Celestia first. That way she can see you being all brave and shit as you save her ponies. And then all the kisses will be yours.
With a smile on your face, you continue your search.
Rounding a small bend in the cavern wall, you finally spot a very familiar face. Well, hello there, Tree Kicker. Oh, they stuffed her hat in there with her. It’s now soaked with changeling goo. Yeah… she’s not gonna be happy when she gets out of there.
You give Applepone’s pod a pat before glancing at the pony in the pod beside her. The rainbow mane and tail are a dead giveaway; you found Rainbo—is… is that carton of milk in the pod with her—no, no. You’re not going to question it. What the changelings do with their prisoners is NOYDB.
Glancing around, you check to see if the rest of the gang is here. Sure enough, there’s Squiggles, and it appears that her pristine mane and tail are now coated in goo. That’s gonna be fun. Next is… what the fuck? Well, you found Pinkie as well as Purplesmart, although they appear to have been stuffed into the same pod, and they… well, they…
Okay, you have to admit, that’s kinda funny. The changelings arranged them so that Twilight’s head was between Pinkie’s thighs and vice versa. Luna’s here as well and her predicament is no better. The pod she was placed in is two sizes too small, and as such she is curled up so that her head is practically in her own crotch. Oh, you wish you had a camera.
...wait, we’re missing somepony. Where’s Yellow Quiet?
You glance around at the nearby pods, but don’t see her in any of them. Did you walk past her without even noticing? It won’t be the first time that’s happened. You’re just about to double back and check when something catches your eye. There, built into the rock face between Rainbow and Rarity is a small door. Unsure of what you are seeing, you stare at it for a few seconds. Why is there a door here?
Curiosity getting the better of you, you push aside the two adjacent pods and grab the door’s handle. Swinging it open, you glance inside. What you find is even more confusing. Coat hangers. A shit ton of coat hangers. It’s a fucking closet. The smell of alcohol is strong in the air, as is the smell of… cheese? And there, sitting on the floor of said closet, is a pod containing Fluttershy.
...why is Fluttershy’s pod in the closet? And—you lean in, squinting to get a better look—why does she have what appears to be a priest collar around her neck? And what is that… beside… her?
Your confusion turns to shocked awe as you catch sight of a massive dildo in the shape of a dog’s penis resting beside Fluttershy’s pod. The thing is pure black and about as big as your forearm.
…
Your brain refuses to even begin to processing what you are seeing. Instead, it demands you close the door and forgot what you just saw. You happily oblige.
Closing the closet door, you begin to contemplate your next move when a faint cry reaches your ears. It’s coming from a nearby recess in the cave wall, so that’s where you head. The opening leads back into a small alcove, and it’s there that you spy something that causes you to freeze.
A group of around nine changelings have two ponies cornered against the far wall of the alcove, and even in the dark you see that one of them is the being you’ve come all this way to rescue. Her white coat shimmers in the gloom, her mane glowing magnificently as she’s back slowly into a corner. She has her wings spread wide in an attempt to shield the smaller unicorn mare behind her, who you realize is her aide, Raven. Both mares are staring up at the changelings in fear, even as the bugs slowly close in around them. Their chitter-like laughter fills the air.
Your vision goes red at the sight before you. Who do they think they are, threatening the Princess like that? How dare they! Not willing to let her suffer any longer, you thrust your bat into the air and scream out your war cry before rushing forward to her aid.
For the kisses!
Before the changelings even know what’s happening, you’re upon them in a blur of steel and fists. Loud thwacks and bonks echo around the alcove as you give them what for! You’re so awesome that they don’t even get a chance to fight back, and within a few seconds, they’re all running for the hills, their tattered tails between their weird holey legs.
You stand in the middle of the alcove, breathing hard. Your bat is now bent at a perfect ninety-degree angle, but it matters not. You are victorious! And now that the foes have been vanquished, it’s time to check on the damsels in distress.
Turning, you find both mares staring at you in awe, though Raven is still hiding behind Celestia’s hind leg.
“A-anonymous?” Celestia asks, her voice shaking slightly.
Fear not, Princess! You have come to save her!
She stares at you for a few seconds before her eyes narrow.
“How do we know you’re the real Anonymous?” she asks. “You could just be another changeling in disguise.” At her words, Raven shrinks further back behind her.
You scoff. She’s right to be skeptical, but there is no way that a filthy bug could possibly imitate your manly physique. To emphasize your words, you flex your muscles, only to accidentally smack yourself upside the head with your bent bat.
“It’s him,” Raven deadpans as she moves out from behind the Princess.
Celestia breathes a sigh of relief.
“Oh thank me,” she says. “Anonymous, you have no idea how happy I am to see you!” She startles you by suddenly moving forward. Enveloping you in her wings, she pulls you against her chest in a warm hug.
...w-wait.
Celestia’s hugging you.
She’s actually hugging you.
You feel your face begin to heat up. Awkwardly returning the hug, you try really hard to not bonk Celestia upside the head with your bat. You are h-happy to see her too.
“I just knew you’d come,” she coos as she nuzzles the top of your head.
This causes you to pause. Wait… she did?
“Of course,” she says, still rubbing her cheek against your head. “Who else but my brave and powerful human could have even dared to fight his way through an entire changeling hive to save us?”
Wow, is it hot in here or is your face simply on fire? Butterflies spring to life in your stomach at her words. You never knew she thought that highly of you. But she’s right. And, well... it wasn’t that difficult.
From behind Celestia, Raven rolls her eyes.
“Oh, no need to be modest with me, Anonymous,” Celestia says as she finally pulls away. She stares into your eyes, her magenta ones filled with an emotion you can’t quite place. Admiration? Joy? Longing? Or maybe it’s something else entirely and you’re just projecting your own inner emotions onto your crush.
“Thank you again, Anonymous,” she says softly. “I cannot express in words how much this means to me.”
You open your mouth to tell her that she doesn’t need to say anything, but are stopped as she gently puts a hoof to your lips.
“Let me finish,” she says. You nod, and she continues. “As I was saying, you have gone above and beyond what anypony could have ever expected of you. I cannot hope to properly express my deepest gratitude for your actions here today. So, instead of telling you in words, I’ll show you with actions.” With that, she closes her eyes and leans forward, pressing her lips to yours.
You freeze, your eyes widening in shock. A-are… are you dreaming? Is Moonbutt gonna pop out any second now and laugh at you? No, no… those heated lips gently caressing yours are definitely the real deal and—oh sweet merciful corn on the cob, her tongue just flicked out and slipped into your mouth. What should you do? What should you do? What should you—
Before you can figure it out, Celestia pulls away from you, your mouths parting with a soft ‘pop’. A string of saliva connects your lips together. It glistens in the gloom before she uses her tongue to lap it up. Her eyes flicker open again, and she giggles at the dazed look on your face.
Words fail you and you can only give her a confused look.
“Oh, Anonymous,” she breathes huskily. “I always knew how you felt about me. Unfortunately, I could never find an opportunity to show you that the feeling is mutual… until now.”
Wait, s-she… she likes you?
“Oh, more than like, Anonymous,” she coos, “and yes, I do have feelings for you.” Her gaze darts upwards for a brief moment and her smile grows. “Believe me. Oh how I know my feelings for you.”
You go to glance up as well, but are stopped by Celestia leaning in for another kiss. The butterflies in your stomach are going out of control at the moment, and you’d like nothing more than to simply enjoy this wonderful feeling of joy and exhilaration, but there are more pressing matters to deal with first.
Like getting out of this changeling hive, and maybe saving the other ponies in the process.
You attempt to break the kiss, but Celestia just follows you, keeping her lips pressed firmly to yours. It isn’t until you put a hand on her chest that she stops.
“What’s wrong?” she asks, panting slightly. “Is this not to your liking?”
No, that’s not it. Good heavens, no! This is beyond your wildest dreams, but is this really the time and place for it? You have to escape now, before reinforcements come.
“What reinforcements?” Celestia asks innocently. Out of the corner of your eye you see Raven’s horn flash with magic quickly, but when you look, she too is giving you a curious look, her head tilted slightly to the side.
Turning back to Celestia, you give her an incredulous look. What did she mean ‘what reinforcements’? Is she being silly? Why, the… the…
You pause, your face scrunching up in confusion. What were you talking about earlier? It was something important, too: you were rescuing Celestia… but from what? From the looks of the cave you are in, molemen, perhaps? Though, did they even have those in Equestria?
…
Well, regardless, you need to get her back to Canterlot before anything else happens. You could continue this there. It’s time to escape.
Unseen by you, Celestia glances at Raven, whose horn lights up again.
“Escape what?” Celestia asks. “Anonymous, you aren’t making sense.”
You try and think, but your mind is suddenly very fuzzy. A feeling… an important feeling niggles at the back of your mind, but it has trouble getting to the surface. Something about escaping… but Celestia was right. Escaping what?
You grimace, rubbing your temples.
Celestia approaches you, a worried look on her face.
“My dear Anonymous, are you alright?” she asks, nosing your shoulder. “You don’t look so good. Please, don’t strain yourself.” From behind her, Raven nods her head, an uncertain look on her face.
Your fine. It’s just… there is something you were doing; something that you still need to do. For the life of you though, you can’t remember what it is.
“Anonymous, please, you need to relax,” Celestia says. “You look positively stressed out!” She pauses, biting her lip as she stares at you. After a few seconds, her horn begins to glow. “Here, let me help out.”
You suddenly find yourself as naked as the day you were born.
Letting out a yelp of surprise, you quickly cover yourself. What was she doing?
“Why, my dear little human. I’m just helping you… relieve some stress,” she coos seductively. Her horn glows again, and you feel something warm and tingly begin to stroke and fondle your member. Yellow light shines around your hands and, upon removing them, you see that Celestia’s magic is washing over your hardening cock. The aura pulsed and shifted, sending shivers of pleasure up your spine.
This… this is… dear god, this is amazing. All thoughts of what you had been previously doing leave your head as you instead focus on the sensation currently running through your loins. Almost on autopilot, you begin thrusting against the golden aura around your member. The sleeve of magic starts to stroke you as well, and within a few seconds, you are at full mast.
“There we are,” Celestia breathes. Raven watches from the side with wide eyes, a large blush on her face.
Turning around, Celestia presents her hind quarters to you.
“Are you ready, my dear human?” she asks.
Bitch, you were born ready!
She smirks before grabbing your stiff cock once again in her magic. Adjusting its angle, she prods it gently against her backside. Her tail instinctively raises, draping itself over her back as she raises her flank higher. You both gasp as the head of your cock brushes against her glistening folds. Her clit pops out as she winks, flicking against your length. This causes Celestia to moan and her drenched lips flex around your member’s head.
By this point, you are as hard as diamonds.
Her hips trembling slightly, Celestia begins to feed your length into her depths.
The first thing you notice as you slide into her confines is the heat—the glorious heat. Her insides are a lot hotter than a human female’s would be, and ultimately you find you like it a lot more.
Finally, you bottom out as her marehood takes your entire length. She clenches down on your member, the velvet walls of her insides pulsing and stroking it wonderfully. It takes all your willpower to not blow your load right then and there. This is beyond anything you’ve ever experienced before.
“Oh, Anonymous,” she moans, panting heavily. “You’re so big!”
You feel yourself twitch at her words; she’s stroking your ego as well, it seems. A burst of hot air washes over your balls and you glance down. Raven is now tucked beneath Celestia’s hind legs, her muzzle inches from where the two of you are joined. She brushes her nose against your sack and inhales deeply, a low moan escaping from her throat. Her tongue slips out and she gives one of the orbs a slow lick.
Oh, that feels nice. You have no complaints about this sudden addition… but what is she—
Your train of thought is interrupted as Celestia’s folds suddenly give your member an especially hard and delicious squeeze.
“Anonymous, hold me,” she pleads with a whimper.
Well, asking like that… you have to oblige.
Bending over, you place your stomach against her rump, and slip your arms around in front of her hind legs, giving her a weird, bent-over hug. The feeling of her soft coat of fur against your skin sends shivers up your spine. This position is kinda silly, but you’re currently balls-deep inside your crush with another mare lapping at your sack, so you don’t particularly care.
Reaching under Celestia’s belly, you take the initiative and give her nipples a gentle squeeze. This causes her to moan again as her inner walls convulse a few more times. She glances over her shoulder at you, her bedroom eyes dripping of lust and sex.
“Go,” she breathes.
And they’re off!
You start pumping frantically into Celestia’s tight marehood. Every time you thrust forward, she pushes back, forcing you a little deeper each time. Her walls clench and clutch at your member, and you can feel her hot arousal seep out from around you and drip down your balls. Luckily, Raven is there to catch it. Her tongue caresses your sack as she licks and sucks, keeping your testicles clean even as she slathers them with her own saliva.
With pleasure and pressure beginning to well up inside of you, you increase your pace. The sound of wet slaps fill the air as your balls smack against Celestia’s rump with each thrust, the noise mingling with the Princess’s moans. You are in heaven, her delightful mewls tickling your ears even as your member is engulfed in her pulsing heat. Tingles run through your body as you draw ever nearer to your end.
When you informing Celestia of your impending climax, she gasps. “I-inside! Please, I need it inside!” She didn’t have to ask you twice.
With a grunt, you slam your hips into her luscious flanks one last time before erupting within her depths. Your member throbs and kicks deep within her dripping pussy, and in one pulse it’s a squelching mess. Warm ribbons of cum escape her folds and trail down your balls in torrents.
Raven coos happily before opening her mouth wide, allowing the cum to drip off your sack and onto her waiting tongue. She drinks the mixture of semen and mare juices eagerly, even going as far as to suckle your soaked balls in order to get it all.
The dual assault on your member and sack are too much, and you quickly find yourself reaching a higher level of bliss. You grind yourself harder into Celestia’s rump, your member jolting as you continue to flood the Princess’s womb with your seed.
“So much love,” she whimpers in ecstasy. “So much… potency.” Her pussy clutches at your cock, squirting more hot mare juices down your balls and into Raven’s mouth.
After what felt like an eternity, your orgasm begins to wane. Slumping over Celestia’s rump, you lie there, breathing heavily. Beneath you, you can feel Raven gently licking at your drained balls, cleaning them of any excess fluid she might have missed. Slowly, your member begins to shrink and soon your head pops out of Celestia’s marehood. Cum begins to ooze out, dripping down her folds and thighs. Raven gasps before moving to lap that up as well.
As you continue to lay across Celestia’s back, you feel yourself slowly beginning to drift off into slumber. Before you fade completely, you see her glance back over her shoulder at you. Her eyes are filled with love, and a warm smile adorns her face.
“Sleep, Anonymous,” she coos. “Sleep. All will be well.”
You smile as well before closing your eyes and succumbing to the embrace of sleep.
The Princess’s smile grows at the sight of you, and her green eyes flash before she glances up. Unseen by you, a pod is stuck to the ceiling. It shakes back and forth as its occupant struggles weakly to escape. Magenta eyes watch the scene below with horror, even as a silent scream escapes her lips.
‘Celestia’ stares up at the struggling pony and grins wide, revealing sharp fangs.
“Yes,” she chuckles darkly. “All will be well.”
Author's Note
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