A tale of two kirins

by Solphestus

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Sparkler, Other, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe
Length: 3946

This is a tale about the misadventures of a pair of twin kirin fillies named Celestial Rune and Blaring Speakers as they go about their daily lives in the town of Ponyville. And with these two on the loose, every day might as well have been a Tuesday

This is a tale about the misadventures of a pair of twin kirin fillies named Celestial Rune and Blaring Speakers as they go about their daily lives in the town of Ponyville. And with these two on the loose, every day might as well have been a Tuesday... Let the shenanigans begin~!

Co-written by Me and my good buddy Brony Parasite.

Inspired by The Witching Hour by Chaotic Ink

Published 2016-10-14 04:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-06-02 02:31:23 UTC

Chapter 1 - And so the story begins, on the run?

“Run!” A red kirin filly giggled/squealed as she fled away from an irate brown stallion with an hourglass cutie mark, her paws allowing her better traction on the soap coated ground than the stallion’s hooves.

“Why did I let you talk me into this!?” A light blue kirin filly screamed, trailing just behind the red one who was her sister. She was slightly shorter than her sister, while she was also less athletic than the red kirin.

“Get back here you kids!” The stallion roared, slipping and sliding across the ground of his clock store as the fillies made their escape.

“Hehe~ He’ll never get us now!” The red filly giggled as she came to a stop in the middle of the street once they were outside, her two horns beginning to shimmer with a purple light. “Ready to get out of here sis?”

“Yes, oh Celestia please!” The blue filly cried out, tears starting to form in her eyes.

The red filly giggled some more before scrunching her face as the spell the kirin had been charging up went off, teleporting both her and her sister into the living room of their home. “That was so much fun! Now, who should we prank nest? Rainbow Dash? Pinkie? The CMC?” She asked her twin with an all too eager smile.

The blue filly hadn’t registered she was safe and accidentally ran into a coffee table head first at full speed. The kirin fell to the floor, crying for her mom.

“Blare!” The red filly shouted in surprise as she snapped out of her scheming to run to her sister’s side.

“What’s going on here-” A purple Unicorn mare said as she walked out of the kitchen, confused as to what the sound was. Her eyes widened once she saw the blue filly sobbing on the floor, and rushed to her side in an instant. She cradled Blare in her hooves and hushed her, rocking her back and forward. “It’s okay, mommy’s here. It’s okay…”

“She’s going to be ok right?” The red filly asked as tears began to gather in her eyes as she looked up at her mother, obviously worried.

“Yes, she’ll be fine. Would you go and get an icepack from the freezer, Rune dear?” The mare asked.

“Yes mom!” Rune said quickly before the red filly ran towards the kitchen before using her magic to grab an ice pack from the fridge since she couldn't reach it, that and she didn't have wings like her sister. Once she had the ice pack, she closed the fridge and ran back to her mother and passed the icepack to the unicorn. “How bad is it? Did she chip her horn again?”

“No, it looks like another bruise.” The mare said. “What were you two doing?”

“Uhh… we were, playing tag? And when I teleported us back she accidentally ran into the coffee table?” Rune lied as she began to sweat nervously.

“It’s really scary how much like her grandmother she really is…” The mare sighed, then looked at Rune. “Also, don’t try to lie to me Celestial Rune.”

Rune gulped, no one ever used her full name unless they were being serious about something, and it usually spelled trouble for the filly in question.

“But I’ll figure out what later… I need to treat your sister… Again…” Rune’s mother sighed, standing up while levitating the now calm blue kirin filly.

“Ok.” Rune replied meekly as she watched her mom carry her sister to the bathroom.

“And go clean your room while you're waiting.” Her mom said.

Rune nodded her head before slowly turning and making her way towards the stairs that lead toward the bedrooms and storage area of the house, her long draconic tail between her legs.

A few minutes later, Blare ran into her and her sisters shared bedroom. “Rune! Aunty Dinky’s here!” Her head had a large bandage over it, and she looked very out of it.

“She is!?” Rune asked in surprise as she momentarily forgot what had transpired in the last thirty minutes before her attention snapped to the bandage around her sister’s head. “But are you going to be alright? I’m sorry about causing you to run into mom’s coffee table…”

“Oh, it’s okay sis. I run into things all the time, remember?” Blare giggled. “Cause I don’t.”

“... I will never understand how you find getting hurt funny.” Rune groaned as she face-pawed.

“I’m used to it.” Blare grinned brightly. “Things are a lot funnier after they happen.”

“I’m surprised you have yet to get a concussion with how much you crash…” Rune sighed before walking past her sister. “Come on, let's go say hi to aunt Dinky.”

“A con-whatsit?” Blare scratched the back of her head. “Hey! Wait up!” she then shouted before following after Rune into the living room.

“Why hello there girls.” A teen aged unicorn with a blond mane and light purple fur greeted the two kirins as they sprinted over to her. “How have you been?”

“Good! We've been perfectly good, right Blare?” Rune said nervously as she came to a halt at Dinky’s feet.

“Uh… Have we?” Blare asked, raising an eyebrow in confusion only to get a glare shot at her from Rune.

“Yes, we have.” Rune said.

“Anyway…” Dinky said while changing the subject. “I brought gifts.” She then smiled as she made a pair of wrapped boxes poof into existence in front of the fillies.

“Oh my Celestia! What are they!? What are they!?” Blare asked.

“Open them and find out~” Dinky teased before walking into the other end of the house to find her older sister.

Blare used her singular dragon-like horn to tear into her present. She pulled away, but the box got caught on her horn and she lifted it up. Blare looked around, wondering where her present was. “Where’d my present go?” Rune face-pawed for the second time that day as she charged up her magic before yanking Blare’s present off her horn for her. Once Blare saw her present, she gasped in excitement. “There it is!”

With a roll of her eyes Rune turned back to her present before extending her claws and neatly cut off the top of the present with them, allowing her to open it with ease to see what was inside. Much to her enjoyment, what she found inside was a set of spellbooks that she didn't already know the spells from. Then, with a wide smile on her face, she charged up her magic again before teleporting the spellbooks out of the box and onto one of the shelves full of her books that were in her and her sister’s room.

“Whoa! A DJPon3 album! And it’s one of her new ones!” Blare squealed, hugging the case. “Thank you so much aunt Dinky!”

“Blare?” Rune sighed.

“Yes Rune?” Blare asked, grinning.

“Aunt Dinky went to talk to Mom before we started opening our presents…” Rune told her twin while shaking her head in disappointment.

“Oh… I’ll have to thank her later.” Blare shrugged, before galloping back to her and her sisters room.

“Hey! Wait up!” Rune called to her twin as she chased after the other kirin who was carrying her new record in front of her face with her magic. “Watch out for- *crash* -Mom’s new vase…” She winced when her sister knocked over and shattered the just recently replaced piece of pottery that sat next to the stairs.

Chapter 2 - starting school

“What!?” Blare screamed. “Please no!”

Blare and Rune’s mother rolled her eyes. “I told you yesterday we were doing this…” She pulled out two saddlebags out of a closet.

“I can understand why blare is being forced to go to school… But why me!? I know at least twice as many spells as even you mom!” Rune whined as she threw her sister under the metaphorical bus.

It took her a second, but Blare glared at Rune. “Hey! Did you call me stupid!?”

Rune cutely scrunched up her muzzle as she nervously looked away. “Uh… hey look DjPon3!” She then said while pointing out the door to said blue haired unicorn.

“Oh my gosh! It is!” Blare rushed towards the mare as their mom sighed.

“There’s more to life than magic sweetie. Not all problems can be fixed with magic alone.”

“Like what?” Rune asked innocently, having mostly relied on either magic or manipulating her sister for most of her life.

“How about how to get friends? Or when you get sick, your magic gets wonky. How about if you need a job that requires more than magic!?” Rune’s mom sighed in frustration.

“Um… Trick Blare into helping me as usual?” Rune asked sheepishly, ironically not understanding her mother’s point.

“And what if Blare’s not around? You can’t rely on your poor sister for everything.” Rune’s mom said.

“Uhh… Then ask you for help?” Rune then suggested as she started to sweat.

“I’m not going to live forever, honey… You both need this. It’s not even that hard, Miss Cheerilee is very nice.”

“But… I… Erm…” Rune muttered as her hair started to frizz up while trying, and failing, to find some way to get out of having to start school… If only because she didn't see the point in it.

“How about this. You know the best kind of magic, right?” Rune’s mother bent over to look her daughter in the eye.

“Best kind of magic? What's that?” Rune asked, her hair now completely frizzed up as one of her eyes began to twitch.

“Well, it’s something Cheerilee’s class can teach you.”

Rune just silently stared at her mother, unable to comprehend what she was talking about and about ready to burst from the suspense due to her question being left hanging there unanswered. Luckily for both their sakes, they were interrupted by a commotion coming from outside… A very LOUD commotion...

Rune’s mother ran to a window to look outside, and once she did her jaw dropped. She then whispered to herself, “Why is she so much like mom when we’re not even biologically related…?”

Curious, Rune quickly snapped out of her swiftly devolving mental breakdown to join her mother by the window… only to facepaw at the chaos developing outside as she watched on in a mixture of worry and exasperation. “Here we go again…” Outside there was a carrot stall ablaze with a stunned Blare and DJPon-3 in front of it.

“I shouldn’t have let her go out unattended… I’ll handle Carrot Top’s cart, you get Blare inside and have Dinky take you to school.” Rune’s mother ordered with a sigh.

“But!”

“No buts, I don’t want my daughter twerking.” Rune’s mom turned and grinned goofily at her terrible joke.

“What the hey is twerking?” Rune asked incredulously before relenting and wandering off to find her aunt.

“If you were in school, you’d learn.” Rune’s mother smirked deviously. “Now, go get Dinky.”

“There… Are a lot of other foals…” Blare stated, staring at the red schoolhouse where dozens of foals galloping towards it. “Looks fun though!”

“Urgh… Why couldn't we have stayed home and plotted another prank?” Rune complained as she was carried by their mother in her magic towards the schoolhouse after a failed escape attempt.

“I worry for you both… So much.” Their mother sighed. Once inside, she set Rune down. “Now, if you leave without Ms. Cheerilee letting you, she’ll tell me, and you’ll be grounded for a month with no spellbooks. Understood?”

“WHAT!?” Was runes only reply as she stared at her mother with a mixture of shock and horror.

“If you listen to Cheerilee, then you’ll be able to continue magic stuff. If not, I’ll burn your magic books.” Rune’s mother threatened.

“Don't you think you're being a little too harsh on her sis?” Dinky asked.

“I’m lying to enforce my point… That’s what Berry Punch told me was the best way to keep them from trying anything.” Rune’s mother whispered to Dinky.

“Well, I still think you shouldn't have gone that far, even if it was a lie… it looks like you broke her.” Dinky whispered back. And she was right, for Rune was currently just hanging limply in her mother’s magical grasp as she stared off into space as if the world was coming to an end.

“Rune, you think I’d just burn a book? One I paid for?” Rune’s mother stumbled, before setting her daughter down. “How about this. You can pick out a book of your choice every month you stay in school. How do you like that?”

Rune immediately snapped back to her senses as she gave her mother a hopeful look. “Really?” She asked while giving her mom the puppy dog eyes as she sat in a cat like position with her tail wrapped around her paws.

“Yes. Now, all you need to do is listen to Cheerilee.” Rune and Blare’s mother stated calmly, relieved that she hadn’t permanently done any harm.

“Why don’t I get anything!?” Blare whined.

“Because you’re not putting up a fuss.”

“Oh… Okay! I love you mom, see you later!” Blare hugged her mother quickly before running over to the school.

“H-hey! Wait up sis!” Rune shouted as she quickly turned and stumbled over her tail before bolting after her twin.

“You think they’ll be ok?” Dinky wondered.

“They have each other. They’ll be fine.”

“Good morning everypony, bow before we begin class today we have two new members joining us! Why don't you give them a nice round of applause?” Said dark pink earth pony mare as she waved for Rune and blare to enter the classroom and come up to her desk, “Now, why don't you introduce yourselves?”

“Hiya! I’m Blaring Speakers, and this is my sister Celestial Rune! You can call us Blare and Rune!” Blare announced, grinning.

“H-hi…” Rune said meekly, feeling nervous as all the fillies and colts looked at her and her sister.

“Now, since it's time for class to begin why don't the two of you find a seat and get settled in?” The teacher then asked the twins as she pulled out a stack of papers.

“Yes Ms. Cheerilee…” Rune said before dragging her sister with he to a pair of desks in the back corner of the classroom.

Blare raised a paw. “Ms. Cheerilee!”

“Yes Blare?” The teacher asked the kirin with a patient smile.

“What am I doing here again?” Blare asked.

“You're here to learn, aren't you?” Cheerilee replied, not understanding the filly’s strange question.

Blare shrugged. “I think so. What are we learning?”

“Well, today is math. Cream Puff? Would you please pass out these papers to everyone?” Cheerilee said as she directed her attention to a pale yellow filly with purple hair and black eyes.

“Yes Ms. Cheerilee!” The filly smiled. She looked about a year or two older than Rune and Blare. She picked them up with her mouth, before trotting over to the first desk before the student at that desk took it in his mouth.

“Hey sis… Is it called hoofing it out when you use your mouth, or is it mouthing it out?” Blare asked.

Rune just rolled her eyes at her sister before finally responding. “How would I know? Just don't think about it it's not that important anyway.”

“But I’m here for learning, I need to know!” Blare said, her eyes dilating ever so slightly.

“Blare, please stop before you do something to embarrass me more than I already am…” Rune pleaded with her sister.

“You never help me…” Blare grunted angrily and rested her chin on her desk, glaring… Uncharacteristically bitter.

‘This was going to be sooo much fun…’ Rune thought sarcastically as she slumped in her seat.

Chapter 2.5 - returning home

“Freedom!” Rune cried as she and her twin were released from school for the day, running out the doors before proceeding to kiss the ground.

“Sis, you’ll get dirt on your lips!” Blare shouted in dismay.

“Not like your lips aren’t already dirty!” A male uptight voice said from behind the two kirins. The voice originated from a pegasus colt much older than then with a lime green coat, teal eyes, and a purple mane.

“Ugh, leave us alone already!” Rune groaned as she stood back up, the moment of freedom ruined forever.

“Uh, yeah! What she said!” Blare added feebly.

“Pfft, why don’t you freaks leave us alone. This is a school for ponies, not… Whatever you two weirdos are.” The colt said venomously. Blare’s eyes began to water and her bottom lip trembled.

“Hey! You can't talk to my sister like that! Say you're sorry!” Rune growled at the colt, her eyes becoming slits.

“Or you’ll what, girlie? Kiss me to death?” The colt sneered sarcastically.

“That’s a thing!? Why didn’t mommy tell us that we could kill meanies with kisses!?” Blare said excitedly.

The colt growled. “No you braindead moron, I was being sarcastic...! Heh, it’s kinda funny how retarded you are!” The colt laughed. “I bet she’d eat dirt if I told her it was candy!”

“Shut up!” Rune snapped as she tackled the colt to the ground, her claws extended and fangs bared.

“Aaahhh! Help! A monster’s attacking me!” The colt screamed, covering his muzzle with his forelegs.

Rune continued to pin the colt down, her claws beginning to dig into his fur as she glared menacingly at him. “Apologize to my sister now!” She roared, purple flames flickering out of the corners of her mouth.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” The colt cried out fearfully.

“What's going on out here?” Cheerilee asked as she exited the schoolhouse, before her eyes widened in shock at the scene.

“Cheerilee! This freak’s hurting me!” The colt cried out.

“Rune! Get off him right now!” Cheerilee shouted as she separated the two children.

“But he insulted my sister!” rune cried out as she tried to get past Cheerilee’s hoof to resume her assault on the colt, her eyes like a snake who is sizing up its dinner as she glared at him.

“Oh? He did now did he?” Cheerilee asked as she glanced back at the colt. “Mind explaining what you said to make her react this strongly?”

“I did nothing! She’s a monster that should be expleled!” The colt shouted, shaking.

“It’s ‘expelled’.” Blaring added shyly.

“Not the time Blare.” Rune hissed back to her sister as Cheerilee looked at the colt in shock.

“Golden Ruckus! My office, now!” Cheerilee ordered. “Rune, Blare, please go on home I’ll handle this…”

“But she attacked me! She shouldn’t be excused for these actions!” Ruckus snapped.

“What were you expecting for insulting a filly, and a filly that you could obviously tell could hurt you should you upset them?” Cheerilee asked, a cold smile on her face as she picked him up by his scruff with her mouth and headed back into the schoolhouse with him. “Plus, they're only getting a warning this time as per school rules for firsttime rule breakers… but you, you have quite the record if I remember correctly.” She then added before the doors shut behind her.

“Hmph, I wish I could have clawed his face off before she intervened…” Rune grumbled as she retracted her claws.

“Rune… You didn’t have to do that…” Blaring said, before grinning from ear to ear. “But that was so cool!”

“Thanks.” Rune grinned while striking a triumphant pose before starting to make her way back home. “Come on, if we're late mother will worry.”

“She’ll worry more when she finds out you tried to hit on a colt!”

“I don't get it, why would she worry about me beating someone up for insulting you?” Rune asked, not understanding.

“Well, Cheerilee said that we would be off the hook at school, but mommy’s not school.” Blare said.

“... Oh…” Rune replied with a gulp, no looking forward to what would inevitably happen next as she decided to charge up her horns. “Might as well get this over with…” she then sighed before teleporting herself and Blare into their living room, and coincidentally right when their mother had begun to cook tonight's supper.

“Back already sweethearts!?” Their mother called out from the kitchen. “How was your first day of school?”

“Don't say a word.” Rune whispered to Blare before replying to their mother. “It was boring but fine…”

Before Rune could react, Blare yelped. “Nothing happened!”

Groaning, Rune just slammed her head into the nearest piece of furniture, the table Blare had crashed into yesterday.

After a few seconds, Amethyst came out, wearing an apron. Her eyes were squinted in suspicion. “What happened...?”

“You just HAD to say something, didn't you Blare?” Rune groaned as she pulled her head out of the dent she made in the table. Blare just whimpered, her ears folding back.

“Tell me now.”

“Well you spilled the beans, might as well finish off the bag don't you think?” Rune sighed while giving Blare a look.

“R-Rune got into a fight at school...” Blaring said feebly. Amythest then turned to Rune, her eyes slits, with a single question. Why?

“Urgh, Blare you need to work on your attention to detail… After school ended we were about to start walking home when some colt started bullying Blare and calling us names so I was going to teach him a lesson when Mrs. Cheerilee intervened.” Rune sighed, used to making up for her sister’s lack of sufficient explanations.

“I’ll let this slide, but if it happens again, you’ll get a grounding.” Amethyst said.

“What!? But moooom!” Rune whined looking up at her mother with her large blue eyes whle sticking out her bottom lip.

“No buts. You can’t go hurting other foals. You can’t hurt ponies, you can’t hurt dragons, you can’t hurt donkeys, or cow, sheep, deer, griffons, minotaurs, mer-folk, and anything alive unless it’s trying to do you harm. Physical harm. Only if somepony starts it do you fight back.” Amethyst said, placing her hoof on Rune’s head. “That’s final. Got it?”

“But he did start it…” Rune mumbled, before raising an eyebrow and asking... “So what about food? Like fruits, vegetables as well as me and sis’s meat? What about plants, like grass and flowers? Like what you eat..” starting with a normal facial tone and then ending with a childish gagging motion after thinking of her mother’s favorite food.

“Broccoli.” Amethyst said with an evil grin. Blare coughed, before falling on the ground and gasping dramatically for air.

“At least that isn't as bad as watching you eat flowers and grass…” Rune shuddered, her fur standing up as if the room just dropped twenty degrees as she blanched.

“Now, dinner’s almost done. Finish all of your food, and I’ll take you to that movie you two wanted to see.” Amethyst said, kissing the two on their heads. This got a wide eyed response of surprise from the two fillies as they stared at there mother to make sure they weren't hearing things.

When there was no sign that their mother was deceiving them, the two ran towards the dinner table and hopped up, ready to eat. With a small giggle, their mother trotted back into the kitchen.

Author's Note

Sorry for the delay folks, was out of town taking care of my granma for an extended period of time. :twilightblush: but dont worry, I'll be geting back to updating this story (And hopefully some of my others) again and hopefully at a somewhat decent pace... :rainbowderp: