Twilight Sparkle stared at the floor, counting her steps in the back of her mind as she walked through the halls of Canterlot Castle. The tall marble arches appeared to swallow up the little unicorn as she passed beneath them. Her shadow disturbed the reflections of stained-glass battles and events long past so they were disturbed for only a moment.
Would Princess Celestia mind her visit? Even though Twilight may be granted all the privileges of a Faithful Student, she wondered if maybe she should have written at least a note before making her trip. The princess might believe there was something wrong in Ponyville if she went back and forth between the two cities as if there was a crisis in sleepy little Ponyville.
Princesses, thought Twilight, I have to remember that there's Celestia, Luna—
Twilight stopped, looked around a corner or pristine marble, and continued to walk the halls. Her mind was scrambled with half-started conversations and imaginary meetings swarming her mind like locusts swarmed a field. It made it so easy to ignore the staff that passed her on her walk.
Visions of the ghastly insects plagued Twilight's own mind, trailing statistics and other pesky things behind them. She wrinkled her muzzle. Why couldn't she concentrate? This was important, she couldn't risk losing any kind of focus.
Think of it as a test, Twilight, she told herself.
Twilight Sparkle bobbed her head to her own words, hooves steady. A test, a test, it's just a test...
She even managed to match the words with her hooves. The echoes faded into syllables that she devoted all her attention to as she continued her small journey. It had been planned carefully since Nightmare Night. That was when she couldn't get a certain mare to leave her thoughts during her daily chores around the library, and she knew exactly what had befallen her. Twilight just had to talk to her again — and had been planning to talk to her ever since she had left Ponyville. And, of course, whenever Twilight was able to take an afternoon off. She wouldn't want to force Spike to run the whole day when she could find a good day to temporarily close Golden Oaks.
During those days Twilight had tried to hide how smitten she was. It was to the point where she was ready to dance around the town square and sing! Such was the fuzz of her heart and the fluff in her head!
But she was absolutely sure about what to do. Luna just needed somepony to talk to her, to show her the modern world, to socialize her — if she was as reclusive as Twilight thought. Wasn't it Twilight who had been like that not long ago before meeting her own friends? All the princess needed was somepony to show her that she didn't have to be lonely any longer.
If there was anything that Twilight Sparkle was sure of, it was how lonely the moon goddess must be. A millennium alone? Twilight had tried to imagine how that must feel but couldn't — such was beyond mortal knowing! She tried to think of how it would make her feel to be sealed away in a celestial body but could not fathom it. Instead, she thought about how lonely she had been without anypony to share her studies with and to talk to. Surely the princess felt something like that? Nothing Twilight had ever read at Princess Celestia's dictation ever mentioned anything good that would come from a pony being as alone as Princess Luna had been.
...
When Twilight Sparkle did all the research she could on what Luna must be going through — she didn't think it was culture shock alone — she came to the conclusion that she knew the princess. This maladjustment was a problem that would not be impossible to solve. Problems had solutions, Princess Celestia had taught her that. She just had to solve Princess Luna and make her understandable to ponies and take a leap from her interactions at Nightmare Night.
Twilight knew how — the perfect step towards socialization for her. The unicorn was completely sure of herself, so much so that her hoofsteps did not break their perfect rhythm as she walked.
Years ago, before she had ever been given many responsibilities by Princess Celestia, her mentor would have her visit and even attend classes in the school that she had founded with other fillies her age. It was only to encourage Twilight to talk to them, and Princess Celestia had even assigned Twilight Sparkle a friend group — Lyra Heartstrings, Minuette, Twinkleshine, and Moondancer — that she had failed to bond with. In one of those classrooms had been a bright, colorful poster that stood out from all the other framed words of supposed wisdom against the light tan and white walls. Most classrooms resorted to simple positivity — which this had been — in the form of quotes from Princess Celestia — which this hadn't been. The latter was what made it an oddity.
First, the frame that had been purchased for it was one size too small, and Twilight had been able to see the cut corners to make the star-dotted picture fit into the frame. Princess Celestia had never been fond of clear tape when the frames made the School for Gifted Unicorns more fitting of its reputation as the best in all of Equestria, and the most prestigious too. The second was that centered over the picture of stars — in bright and colorful letters — was the phrase 'Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss you'll land among the stars.'
Twilight certainly did not like that poster, not one bit. It had even made her angry enough to flush in her younger days, and today it would be something she would refuse to hang in Golden Oaks Library. Positive or not, it simply irked her deeply. She reported it to Princess Celestia saying that a poster hung in an educational facility should be scientifically accurate. Didn't everypony know that the stars were too far away to fall among?
She remembered how Princess Celestia just shook her head and complimented Twilight's knowledge.
Now, Twilight silently prayed that the silly poster was true. She wanted to land among the stars if something went wrong. That day was one of many that Princess Celestia had to reinforce an important lesson in Twilight: sometimes positivity took precedence over perfection. Positivity could be perfection.
Why?
Because Princess Luna was right there, in the middle of the hallway, watching Twilight Sparkle curiously. Perhaps even worriedly — that was worry that Twilight read in Princess Luna's face, wasn't it?
"Hi, Princess Luna!" Twilight bobbed her head slightly in a polite hello.
"Good afternoon, Twilight Sparkle. Did you need to see my sister for something? If it is her attention that you seek—"
"No, Princess. I wanted to see you."
Princess Luna looked slightly unnerved by Twilight's reply, but her flicker of nerve went unnoticed by the purple unicorn who saw only Luna's stoic exterior. "Whatever for?"
"Well, do you, uhh," Twilight looked to the side, trying to remember how she had rehearsed this, "do you plan to visit Ponyville again?"
"No, why? Is there something you and your friends cannot manage? If so—"
"Not that..."
Princess Luna looked more and more confused by Twilight's awkward conversation — one of her ears was lowered slightly and her brow was furrowed. If Twilight hadn't known Princess Luna better, she would have even misread some frustration into the expression of the goddess. Twilight caught the gesture, which was as awkward as her own. It didn't feel right to see the princess like this — she could see Luna being inept at socializing as she once was, lost and confused by the modern era, but not...
...imperfect.
It simply wasn't how she saw the goddess, Harmony had purified her, and her sister was the most perfect being to ever exist. Princess Celestia was infallible by her own ichor — all the gods were — so Luna had to be too. She was beautiful, and the best kind of thought-addiction.
Things like this were all different ways — indirect lies — for Twilight's brain so used to magic, numbers, and facts to say perfect.
"Princess, I was wondering if you had any duties keeping you very busy..."
Princess Luna was beginning to look distantly frustrated now. "No more than usual. Why? Are you not well, Twilight Sparkle?"
"Y-yeah, I mean, yes princess, I'm well. Really, really well. Normal well. It's just that I wanted to ask if you would visit me... so we could, uh spend time together."
"Like you do with your friends? Twilight Sparkle, I am not usually fond of crowds or group... get-togethers? Is that what you call them now?"
"No, Princess, just you and me. I would like us to spend time together."
Was it just Twilight or did the princess look annoyed now? Really annoyed?
"Twilight Sparkle, I suggest you go speak with my sister. You certainly seem unwell and I am quite sure she would be able to help you. I bid you a good day and hope you feel better soon."
Twilight watched as the Princess began to walk down the halls. No, this wasn't how everything was supposed to go! Not at all! She couldn't let her get away so easily.
"Princess, I want to go on a date with you!" Twilight Sparkle shouted, only it came out more like a squeak. Despite that, the nervous unicorn watched the goddess whirl around, looking almost panicked.
"What?!"
"A date, it's a bit like the modern equivalent of courtship—"
"I have been informed of this, but who is the suitor?!" The princess's eyes darted around as if she expected there to be somepony jumping out of the corner... or she was looking for an escape. But what could she want to escape from? There were only Twilight and the Princess in the hall! Twilight blinked, trying to clear her head. That couldn't be right. Luna was a princess, suitors wouldn't be strange to her, nor should they be. Mortal species often looked to the gods in awe, vying and praying that they might be their suitors. It was what Princess Celestia said was not an uncommon experience. She wasn't nervous. It was Twilight projecting herself onto Luna. She knew Luna as the loud, unsocialized, beautiful goddess, that Harmony had cleansed.
Perfect.
Flawless.
"I am, Princess."
Luna's jaw dropped, opening and closing but no words came out for what felt like forever to Twilight.
"Y-you?"
"Yes, Princess. Ever since Nightmare Night when I saw you—"
"You?!"
"Yes, me! Ever since I saw you, I saw how lonely you are. I've been learning so much about friendship and I could help you with that—"
"Twilight Sparkle, I have no time for jests. Please stop, this is in no way humorous to me, having a pony a barely know — my sister's own student — trying to pursue an inappropriate relationship with me! To do so as a prank and claiming I am lonely is even crueler. If this is what modern attempts at humor have become, I wish for no part in it. You are nearly my niece, and to dare consort with you in my position would be foul beyond words, even if I were made comfortable by this conversation or attracted to—"
"It's not a joke, Your Highness! I know you, Princess. You're just lonely. I understand that you're too good to admit that you just need friends. Maybe you even feel a bit nervous, but it's okay! Happiness is in other ponies, just like Princess Celestia says it is, and all you need are some other ponies to see—"
"Stop, Twilight Sparkle."
"—how perfect you are—"
"Please, I told you to stop. This is thrice that I have said to please—"
"...and that you just need help to be a little less chaotic. You just need to be understood by ponies."
"I said stop!"
Twilight did and stared at the princess-goddess who was on the verge of screaming. When had that happened? That nerve that she thought wasn't there before? Somehow, it was there now, raw and instant before her.
But the perfection that Twilight had been hoarding in her head for months? Where was that? Where had the delicious magnetic lawlessness of the second princess and her prettiness gone? Twilight had been obsessively dwelling upon it since Nightmare Night; it had been there, within her mind!
"Princess...?"
"You do not know me. You are not my friend, for this is not how any friend acts. Twilight Sparkle, you are only my sister's student, and for that, I respect you as an honorary daughter of hers. You are family at most, like a distant cousin, and simply a nice pony at the least. But — and this I see I must emphasize — you do not know anything about me, and it shows in your words and actions. You came to Canterlot expecting to ask me on an outing without even seeing if any part of your false image of me matches who I am, or if I even wanted a mare for a romantic partner."
Twilight stared at the usually pragmatic princess in silence. Had she ever heard Princess Luna speak so much before?
"Or if I want a partner at all, and if it is my focus since my return. Did you ever think that you may have just had a schoolfilly's crush on me? I will always be grateful that you are the Spark of Magic that reunited my sister and me, but my answer will not change. It is no, and this is not the first time I have said so. You were gifted with two eyes that work very well, Twilight Sparkle. I highly suggest using them to make sure what you see is what is true. Step out of what Tia tells you once in a while. You are her student, not her hoof-wrought doll."
"It's a no..."
"What you felt was not real," Luna rebukes in a way Twilight found so unbearably cold.
"But..."
"There is bound to be a mare—"
"Or stallion," Twilight offered weakly, her voice hollow-sounding like she was in a trance.
"...a mare or a stallion that finds you to be what they seek. I would also suggest you seek them out as well, for the one you seek is not me."
Twilight watched as the princess nodded a farewell and then continued on her own down the halls of Canterlot Castle. She only wished that she didn't feel like she had fallen from the stars above back down to the ground.
Author's Note
A tale of the Iceverse, although no other stories need to be read in order to understand this one.
I guess this means that this story is Twilight's revenge. Sorta.
[Revised for print on 10/11/2020]
