The true Psychopath: Time of the foalsitter

by The Psychopath

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy, Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 6603

This one-shot describes Psycho when he was Celestia and Luna's foalsitter so many years ago.

(Set in Psycho's Equestria)
Everypony now knows who The Psychopath is, but nopony really remembers who he used to be. One of the best foalsitters out there, the council of Canterlot had no choice but to call him seeing how close he was. The filly alicorns have been behaving very badly, so they had no choice. The council will soon learn that, not only is Psycho a good foalsitter, but he also does certain things to the "entourage" when he has managed to discipline the little colts and fillies he has watch over. What nopony besides a certain three know, is that he became The Psychopath after finding something on the outskirts of Canterlot.

This is a prequel to The true Psychopath.

Published 2012-07-01 13:44:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-01 13:44:02 UTC

The Illogic starts to leak

We are now one thousand and one-hundred years before the events known to everybody. Technology isn't very well developed, the alicorns don't rule the entirety of pony-kind, and it takes about two weeks to go from Ponyville to Canterlot alone. That is to say, Ponyville does not exist yet. No. The Everfree still holds domain over the majority of that land, and the monsters run freely in it. This story, however, is not about the colorful nature of that forest, nor is it about the Nyubet that has yet to come into existence along with its violent inhabitant. No. This story is about Canterlot castle and a tragic event that occurred there. To give you an idea of the time, know that Celestia and Luna are still little fillies, although mischievous little fillies.

The ones who rule over pony kind are know as "The council". They are an assembly of aged ponies that come from a variety of environments, in order to give their own insight if said problem occurs in said domain. They are very serious, and only they know the identity of the alicorns' parents. As the fillies were the first of their kind, and have incredible power within them, the council took them in and called upon nannies and so forth to discipline and teach the fillies. The problem? They don't listen, and many things get destroyed because of Luna and Celestia. The council had enough. They needed a list of the best foalsitters out there. One who could watch them and teach them correctly, something that the nannies at the castle never managed to do.

This entire story starts in a simple area, the restoration area of the council. Within this vanilla colored room with a fluffy red carpet, stood barely any chairs and tables. A window or two for a minimal need of light was pretty much all that was needed. The twelve ponies of the council were all sitting in the room. Some were wearing rather uptight clothing, while remained in their fur. Still, there are really only three of note here. The first is the grumpy Waterback. A stallion with a gray coat, grey eyes, and a brown mane and tail that are both laid back, and fluffy wings. His cutie mark consisted of a water drop and a ruler. He was in charge of research. Waterback was currently reviewing a VERY long list of foalsitters.

The one peeking over his shoulder was the ever-absent DrumBon, a VERY distant ancestor to the actual Bon-Bon. She had a fluffy purple and turquoise mane and tail and brushed them so that the threads made would overlap each other. Her eyes were yellow, ironically, and her cutie mark was that of a red lollipop. Her domain? Commerce. She was leaning over Waterback's shoulder in curiosity and constantly choosing names, only to get them rejected.

The last was one who was very concentrated and was the chief of the Council's Militia, the far ancestor of the Royal Guards. He had a green coat with a an olive green mane and tail that were shaved as to be the least annoying as possible when on the battlefield. His eyes were stern and full of power. They were a bright lime green. He was busy checking through the letters sent to him by the soldiers complaining or speaking of somewhat and somesuch. His armor was made of an old greasy bronze and looked a lot like Spartan armor. His cutie mark was that of a spear going through a shield. He was known simply as 'Impaler', hence the sharpness of his horn.

"DrumBon, get off my shoulder," Waterback shrugged irritatingly.

"But I just want to see the names. Those fillies are driving me crazy!"

"Because you think they aren't driving US crazy?"

"Well..."

"Just shut up."

DrumBon crossed her arms and began to pout.

"By the creator, you are so childish, yet you are forty-five."

"Hmph. You can be old in body, but not in mind."

"Yes. Whatever. Hm? There are three names here that have been circled."

"Really?" DrumBon leaned forward.

"Yes. Look here. Two of them are five weeks away from here, while the remaining one is right here in Canterlot. Oh. He is both a stallion and his name, apparently, is 'Psycho'," Waterback said as he rolled his eyes and let the list drop. A few muffled laughs spewed around.

"So? What's his record?"

"Well, it says here that he has managed to discipline every colt and filly that he has had to watch over."

"GOOD!" Impaler shouted. "A stallion that knows discipline and how to enforce it! This is just the one we need."

"I'm not finished you spitter. It also says that he is a bit of a prankster when he finishes with the disciplining."

"Uh-oh," Everypony in the room said.

"I see. What are the records of the other two?"

"Well, they are very good as well, but they are five weeks away. So-" Waterback slammed the list on the floor."-it's either suffer five more weeks of those two pests or call on him immediately."

Everypony stopped signing documents or writing reports and stared at each other for a long moment.

"PSYCHO!"

"Then it's settled. I'll go inform the brats."

The old stallion stood up, knocking over DrumBon, and walked towards the door with the best smile he could conjure: a frown. He was shocked at seeing the destruction in the hall. It would seem that the little fillies got into the kitchen and splattered pastries everywhere, as well as tearing the curtains and knocking over every decoration. The others in the room looked over Waterback's shoulder and watched as the two fillies were literally running on the walls while the servants and nannies of the castle were also running, but after the two sisters. Waterback face-hoofed.

"This is going to be a long waiting period."

It was already the next day, with the nannies all shaking under stress and twitching. The others already began to imagine what this "Psycho" looked like.

"Ooo. I bet he's a handsome stallion with an illustrious mane and gorgeous eyes."

"I think that he's more of a suave character with power in him to submit others."

"You think it's a unicorn?"

"Nah. Maybe a pegasus."

"And why not an earth pony?"

Impaler, on the other ha-hoof, was certain of what he was saying.

"You are all foalish. If he knows how to discipline, then he is certainly very serious with dark colors. He must use a whip to hit the foals when they are being unruly. And he hits them, PAINFULLY!" he shouted as he leaned towards the two fillies that were giggling.

One of them was of a beautiful night blue while her short mane and tail were of a vagrant sky blue, her turquoise eyes sparkled in the sunlight as she was startled by Impaler. The one she was hiding behind was her sister. This pony had a white coat and a long, flowing pink mane and tail. She was looking sternly at Impaler with a puffed-up lip.

"Nope. Nopony can control us!" Celestia proudly announced with a smile and a hoof to her chest.

Suddenly, a blue mane was seen climbing over the hillside. The council members smiled with glee until they saw the whole character. It was a smiling stallion with a bright blue and green mane and tail that were brushed as to look a bit rough around the edges, along with a pink coat and eyes. He was carrying a bag on his back and was smiling outright. He approached Waterback, who stared at him in disbelief. Psycho was actually pretty tall, surpassing Waterback by three apples. The stallion took his bag off and shook the grumpy pegasus' hoof frantically.

"You must be mister Waterback. Pleased to meet you."

"And you are?"

"Psycho. You needed me to take care of those two fillies trying to attach a rocket to your back."

"Wha-?!"

Everypony looked around to see that the two sisters suddenly stopped what they were doing and looked at Psycho who was still looking directly into Waterback's eyes. Celestia whined:

"But, how did you know?! You weren't even looking!"

"Heheh. I know pranks better than you two. It also seems that you do them however whenever. Tsktsk. You are unruly and undisciplined too."

"Yeah? Well you'll never catch us!" The two sisters began to fly away, but Psycho was quicker.

Reaching into his bag, the pink stallion pulled out two whips and caught the hooves of the two fillies and dragged them back to the ground without any trouble before tying them up. Impaler looked amazed.

"Wow. I'm impressed. You looked like some colorful panzy with no abilities at all, but you've proved me wrong. Make sure they get what's coming to them. I have a whip and a paddle just for the occasion. PRIVATE!"

A scrawny looking soldier came with a whip and paddle that seemed to have been cleaned off and properly thorned for the occasion. Luna yiped while Celestia just started to try and loosen the bonds. The Commander slowly approached the mares until Psycho got right between them.

"Woahwoahwoah! No need for that. The good 'ol fashion spanking is enough."

"Bah! Whatever you say. Just keep them out of our hair."

"Fine by me."

Everypony started to leave, but Psycho took a glimpse at the tied up ponies in the corner of his eye. With a chuckle, he took a stick from the nearby ground and used it to pick up both fillies. Celestia began to try and fight her way out of the situation.

"Let us go!"

"Nnnope. You two are going to your rooms, and you're staying there. What I saw on the message is that you two are terrible fillies and have been causing a lot of trouble here at the castle. Therefore, I will start imposing limits."

"Like?"

"You can't go to the kitchen, and you'll have to start eating the 'special' greens."

"What do you mean?"

"SPINACH!"

"NO! I hate spinach!"

"I don't want to eat spinach," Luna whined.

"Oh well, that's too bad. 'Cause I got a ton of them in my bags here."

Psycho went through the hallways of the castle with his ever-present smile, literally shocking the staff with the two fillies attached to a stick. The environment was pretty unchanged from the present-day castle. There were rugs everywhere, tapestries adorning the walls, but there was barely any light at all, as castles, at the time, only had very small windows, so fake sunlight was brought inside the castle via solar stones placed on holders throughout the area. Climbing to the second floor of the castle, Psycho asked a servant for the direction of the sisters' room. The stallion pointed towards a door two steps away from their location. The foalsitter thanked him, and entered the room. Psycho was quite shocked at the appearance.

A very big room painted in pink on the walls with a moon and sun converged together on the ceiling. There were several toys and gigantic stuffed animals everywhere with some plastic playgrounds scattered here and there. Psycho stared at the area and dropped the stick holding the sisters. He untied them and they tried to take this opportunity to flee. The foalsitter laughed and stomped on the ropes still attached to their feet, making them fall back down to the ground. Luna began to cry because she hurt herself, making Celestia run to her and try to comfort her sister.

"Look what you did! You're a big meanie!"

Psycho just stared blandly at the crying filly before reaching into his his bag and putting some cream on his hoof. He walked up to Luna with the cold, blue cream just waiting to be placed on her "boo-boo".

"Where does it hurt?" Psycho asked Luna as he lied down next to her.

Celestia threw the stallion an angry glare, but he ignored her. The filly was shocked by his uncaring for her glares, as it always worked before.

"Here." Luna lift her left foreleg and pointed to what would be known as a knee.

"Aww. Here. This'll help you. And a little kiss will make it all better."

Luna stared at her little spot of cold cream that actually started to make her feel better and looked up at Psycho before nervously smiling. Celestia jumped in front of the two.

"I don't know what you are trying to do, but I won't let you hurt my sister, you jerk!"

"Oooo. That was a bad word. I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to spank you."

"What?! No! Leave me alone!"

"Too late."

Psycho caught the filly who was trying to fly away, only to place her on the floor and spank her three times before letting her go. She had tears forming around the corner of her eyes and she was puffing up her lips. Poor little Celestia was rubbing her rear and looking angrily at Psycho, who just smiled back.

"And if you say bad things like that again, I'll keep spanking you, and spanking you, and spanking you. And depending on what you did, the number of spanks will either increase or decrease."

Celestia walked up to her oversized stuffed animals and sunk in them while sniffling. Luna ran to her sister.

"By the way, you two are grounded for today. I don't want to see you leave your rooms. If you do, well, let's just say that you won't be seeing your toys anytime soon. In the meanwhile, I'M going to prepare your lunch."

With a side-smile, Psycho left the room to find the kitchen. Celestia, on the other hoof, was furious. Wasn't she and her sister "royal" now. Wasn't the castle and everything in it theirs? The problem is, she liked her toys, but she didn't want to listen to that annoying and meanie stallion. She was going to try and use the bit of magic she learned from Starswirl the bearded and make a fake image of her sister and herself and leave the room via the high-placed windows. She spoke of her plan to Luna, who smiled with glee. Once the images were in place, they flew up to the windows. Unfortunately, the second they touched them, they were shocked and thrown into the stuffed animals.

Another ironic event, was that Psycho, somehow hanging onto the door via his hindlegs, swung into the room immediately afterwards whilst holding two plates full of greeny greens. The greeny greens that most ponies hate.

"I see that you really DID try to get out. Ahahaha! NO! Not while I'm here. Time for lunch then. Get out of your hiding spots and come eat."

The two sisters crawled out of the pile of stuffed animals with their manes and tails spiked up. They both angrily walked towards the plates of spinach and carrots given to them, and looked horrified at the sight.

"Ewww. No way am I going to eat that!" Celestia protested. Psycho shrugged.

"Okay. No cupcakes for dessert then."

Both fillies gasped and immediately jumped to their plates and forcibly chomped down everything while Psycho started to brush their manes and tails back to normal.

"Eheheh. Watching those mares deal with these things has proven useful. I feel like I'm going to have a great time with these two. It's still strange that they have both wings and a horn. Oh well. More fun time!"

The days started to pile up into weeks as Psycho lived and slept at the castle. To be honest, his time at the castle wasn't a fun one, as he always had to look after the two alicorn sisters who started to found loop-holes around his methods and traps. The council started to grow tired of him until the violent pranks done by the princesses and their escapades began to stop. They even started to be more polite, although Celestia's rear had become increasingly red over time, still view-able through her white coat. Psycho took the sisters out of the castle for a little stroll through the new maze in the castle yard.

In the meantime, Waterback and DrumBon, along with the other members of the council were comfortably drinking fruit wine during the splendid sunny day.

"Ah! I've never had such a comfortable moment of peace since those annoying brats came here."

"Well, it IS your fault that they came here in the first place. And do you regret getting this Psycho character?"

"Eh. Not really. He did prove his worth. I'm not sure how he managed to do what the nannies of this castle as well as the foalsitters from everywhere were incapable of doing."

"I know, right? In-fact, they were placing sharpened pieces of wood on my chair and he popped out of nowhere and swiped them off before running on the wall and grabbing the two fillies watching on the window ledge." a council member smiled.

"That...how does he even...?" Waterback mumbled.

"I don't know. He just knows."

Meanwhile, Impaler, along with two other Militiaponies, were watching Psycho and the two sisters playing around in the maze. He was observing them from above the walls. The other two soldier were worried about their commander.

"Um...sir?"

"We think you are getting paranoid. Can't you accept that he's managed to change them?"

"NO! It's all a ruse! You'll see. You'll all see. Someday, that Psycho will do something that will certainly destroy half of Canterlot, and he'll use those brats to do it."

"Ugh!"

However, in the maze, the three occupants were playing hide and seek.

"Come out Psycho, we know you're here." Luna laughed.

"No I'm not. I'm over there."

"Tcheah. Found you!" Celestia shouted as she pulled down some bush branches.

"Aaaa!"

Psycho fell to the floor with a flop while faking a panic attack. The two sisters started to push him around.

"Psycho? You okay?" Luna asked.

"I know! Let's poke him with a stick."

"Hey, great idea."

"EVIL TICKLE ATTACK!"

"AAAAAH!"

Psycho jumped up and began to tickle the two fillies who started to laugh so hard they began to cry happy tears.

"I'm glad that I met you two."

"I'm also glad that I got to meet you." Luna smiled. Those big eyes were going to make Psycho's heart melt.

"I've just wondered. You two are actually very peculiar for ponies. What are you exactly? Did the council tell you?"

Celestia started to kick dust off the floor. "No. They didn't even tell us who our parents were."

"Mhmm." The stallion put a hoof to his chin and started to think. Then, suddenly, an idea came to mind. "Hey! What don't I find a name for your kind of pony?"

The two sisters nodded and sat down to look at the stallion pacing back and forth.

"Hmmm. Let's see. You both have wings and a horn...and seem to have great magical potential. Hmmmm. How about alicorn? It sounds unique and not just a mixture of two words."

"Yeah. I like it. What do you think, Luna?"

"I think it's pretty nice."

"We're alicorns! We're alicorns!" the two started to bounce around joyfully.

"So you're Psycho, huh?"

"Why yes I aaaa--"

Psycho stopped talking after he saw who was talking to him. It was a blue mare with a straightened out mane and tail. Her mane and tail were both purple with two streaks of pink and a brighter blue going through them. Her eyes were equally blue and her cutie mark looked like a star. This was a far ancestor of Twilight Sparkle.

"You okay?"

"Y-yes. What is your name?"

"Starlight."

"That's a beautiful name."

"Thank you. Yours is...kinda strange."

"I know. It was nice to meet you."

"Same thing here. Have a nice day."

Psycho just stared at the mare with a stupid expression until she left. The two, now alicorns, giggled.

"What?"

"You're in love with Starlight."

"So?" Psycho began to blush.

"You want to go on a date with her?"

"I uh...but we just met."

"We could help you."

"How? You two are just fillies!"

"We're still young mares." Celestia began to pout.

"Riiight. Sooo...how would you help me?"

"Well...the first thing is to get her pretty flowers that smell nice."

"It'll make her think that that is how you think of her." Luna added.

"I'll think that she's a flower?"

"No, silly. That she's as pretty as the flowers and that she smells good."

"I understand the flowers, but the smell thing is just creepy."

Luna and Celestia rolled their eyes, only to drag Psycho back out of the maze somehow, and taking him to the gardener. The gardener was a griffon with a rather "suave" appearance.

"Mister gardener." Luna began. "Do you have some flowers that Psycho here can have?"

"Some that smell good."

The griffon was a mute, which is why he had a position in gardening. You don't need to speak to communicate with nature. The griffon, with his feathers coiffed in a way to flow over one side of his face, put a claw to his face and suddenly ran into a field of bushes, only to come back with green, pink, and bright blue flowers and hoof them to Psycho.

"Wow. These smell great."

The griffon performed an "Aw, chucks." gesture.

"Thanks a lot."

The griffon waved away before tending to the newly grown sprouts again. The three began to look for Starlight, finally finding her near the entrance of the maze. Psycho began to shake horrifically.

"Go," Celestia insisted.

"But it's too early. We barely met and--"

"Go!" Celestia and Luna pushed Psycho right in front of Starlight, who gasped at the stallions sudden appearance.

"Oh. It's you again."

"Yeh...uh...I got you these flowers."

"That's sweet. Thanks a lot." Starlight took a sniff of the flowers' perfume, and grew a face of satisfaction.

"So...um...would you like to hang out? Maybe, we could learn more about each other. You know. You first, then me. The more important things going first."

"That's sweet, but I'm sorry Psycho. I already have somepony special in my life. Sorry."

"Oh. Goodbye then."

The ears of Psycho flopped down loosely and his eyes showed a deep depression setting in as he walked slowly towards the maze.

"Wow. He doesn't hide his feelings."

"It's okay. We'll go try and cheer him up. Come on Luna." The two fillies quickly followed after the heart broken stallion.

Starlight just stared at the two fillies who ran after their foalsitter in utter disbelief.

"How in the six elements did he manage to discipline those two? He must be really good with kids. Well, back to work."

This was but the first of the several failed attempts at Psycho attempting to find his 'special somepony'. Every time he was rejected, he would enter a great depression and hide in the castle maze. Every attempt the princesses made to comfort him were always in vain, so they had to use better methods. The most notable one was during Psycho's "last days". They had forced him to get some stuff from the kitchen, and he waited for the result. In the end, all three went to the yard and looked through a tiny barred window. It was a huge room dug deep in the ground where the council members received envoys, messengers, performed meetings, and so forth. This was known as the "Cake Batter prank".

The three were waiting in front of the small window while lying down on their stomachs. While the two alicorns were moving about nervously as they wanted to see Psycho's reaction, the poor, heartbroken stallion was twirling a blade of grass in his hoof. The doors to the council room opened up to show two envoys of the Griffins. While they were all too far away to be heard, the two mares laughed and passed a brown rope to Psycho.

"Pull it," Celestia insisted.

The stallion looked at the rope in confusion and started to analyze it.

"What does it do?"

"Just pull it."

"Whatever you say."

The stallion proceeded to do as told. Yet. Nothing happened.

"So?"

"Hold on."

The room began to rumble, causing the griffons to fall down. The walls opened up suddenly and began to expel cake batter at an extremely fast rate. Next, a bit of cream was tossed onto the pile for good measure.

"PSYCHOOOOO!" Waterback yelled.

Said stallion was laughing his heart out but looked back after Luna gestured towards the scene. The entire council was stuck in the batter and barely able to move. That is, until a spark illuminated the room and began to spin the batter furiously around the room. Everyone in there began to scream like crazy while the three watchers just emptied themselves of air. When the spinning finally stopped, the batter was cooked somehow. Suddenly, the roof above them opened up and dropped tons of sprinkles on the moaning council and envoys.

"Bahahaha! Normally, I would punish you, but that didn't hurt anypony. That was even very well done too!"

"I knew you'd like it," Luna smiled.

"HEY!"

The three turned around to see the Council's militia with swords attached to their hooves along with Impaler holding a trident.

"I knew it! You are just a trouble maker. You two brats are going to get it now."

The two alicorns were grabbed by the guards and placed on their stomachs while Impaler grabbed a metal paddle to spank them with.

"Now you'll learn that you shouldn't-"

"Wait! It wasn't Tia-Tia and Woona who did that. It was me."

The militiaponies began to mumble between each other.

"Silence! Fine. Come with me. You are not coming back to this castle ever again. I will notify the Council of your actions."

"I understand."

The Commander escorted the saddened stallion outside of the castle grounds within the dying sunset and stayed behind the opened doors of the castle.

"Good. Stay within Canterlot, and we'll be able to judge you. In the meantime-" Impaler turned around to speak to the guards operating the door controls." Close the gate! And fetch me the paddles! Those fillies need what's coming to them."

"What?! But you can't! They're reformed. They aren't the same. You can't spank them with those atrocious objects!"

"Heh. Too bad. They made the last five years a living abyss for me, and I'll show them why I am called 'Impaler'."

The doors suddenly slammed shut as Psycho started to hit the door with all his strength. He was too weak. He couldn't open the doors no matter how hard he tried. He began to hear the clapping of the paddles along with the screaming of the two fillies. He began to tear up as he couldn't get through the door.

"Hey! Get away from the door or I'll impale you with an arrow."

Psycho just looked up at the guard who was holding a crossbow, and admitted defeat. The stallion started to walk down the hillside of Canterlot until he heard a weird voice coming from nowhere, and it was accompanied by a weird ticking noise.

"It seems that you want to protect somepony."

"What? Who's there?"

"I am the Illogic in your mind. I am the one that gets you through things. And I am the one that allows you to get your ideas for pranking. Come to the World of Illogic, and you'll be able to protect Celestia and Luna."

"Huh? What about TIa-Tia and Woona? You're saying that you'll turn me into a powerful unicorn?"

"Better than a unicorn or an alicorn. A being of Illogic. Come into this portal and you will be transformed."

A strange portal of swirling colors grew right in front of Psycho. It glowed brightly in the darkness of the sunless sky and seemed to be a beacon of hope to Psycho.

"*gulp* Well. Here goes nothing."

As Psycho jumped into the portal, two eyes with srange purple pupils appeared right above. The pupils looked like clock hands that were constantly moving.

"Tomorrow morning, you'll be ready. And the Illogic will be waiting."

When the morning came by, the destruction of Canterlot that remained hidden from history would occur. While this was happening, Wtaerback, DrumBon, and the other council members were still getting batter out of their manes and coats.

"Ugh. I can't believe those brats would still do this."

"I know. I thought the sisters changed."

"And that Psycho. When I hired him to discipline those fillies, I didn't think he would use metallic paddles. They are annoying, but that was barbaric."

"They haven't said anything since Impaler saved them from that brute."

A sudden explosion rocked the entire castle in a very strange way. It bounced before tilting to the left. Just as everyone was recuperating, a giant cake flew into the castle and smothered itself all over the walls and the interior. The castle suddenly flipped over and embedded itself sideways into the ground while everyone was glued by the strange white, cakey substance. The entire castle began to explode in an uproar of confusion and anger.

"What's going on?"

"This doesn't make any sense at all! How can the castle stay solid like this?"

"Help! I'm stuck in this glue!"

"Awww. Well I have somepony's REAR glued to my face."

"Don't remind me of this situation."

"Ponies, please. I have a spear glued to my head. If I make any sudden movements..."

"Nopony cares."

"What is EVEN going on?"

Meanwhile, in the barracks of the Council's Militia, Impaler noticed what had happened and ordered a vast portion of his guards to take care of the denizens in the castle. One of the troops managed to trace the provenance of the cake, and discovered that it had come from Canterlot. Therefore, that is where the rest of the troops headed towards. However, despite the chaos that was going on, there was only one portion of the castle unaffected by the Illogical things happening. It was the room where Celestia and Luna were. The chamber had flown out of the castle and landed near the maze. Reluctantly, the horrified fillies stepped out of their room to see a note attached to the entrance of the maze. Pulling it off with her magic, Celestia read the note:

Dear Tia-Tia and Woona,

I'm waiting for you in Canterlot. I've got a bunch of fun games we can play together. Try and bring Impaler here. I have a special game for him.

Lovingly,
The Psychopath. AKA, Psycho.

"Wh-what's he talking about?" Luna asked.

"I don't know. He wants us to go to Canterlot. Maybe we should. He'll keep that jerk away from us."

"But how'll we get past the guards and that big door?"

Celestia looked around for a moment until she noticed there was not a guard in sight. She scratched her head in confusion and looked at the two gigantic wooden doors. They were left slightly open.

"Come on, Luna. We need to reach Canterlot. The doors were left open."

"But what about Impaler?"

"No. I'm not going to get that big meanie."

The two alicorns nodded and started to gallop as fast as their little legs could get them. What they would find would not be a good thing.

(Pillz here)

Impaler and his cohort of soldiers arrived at Canterlot, only to see it in ruins. There were destroyed buildings here, fires there. There were even fires that were, for some reason, ballet dancing from building to building. Pink and blue fumes ran across the streets while strange piles black goo were etched around every nook and cranny of the city. Screams filled the air as the soldiers on the ground began to run to the rescue of the citizens.

"I don't get it. What the abyss is going on?"

"Peekaboo!" shouted a voice coming from behind Impaler.

To his surprise, there was a strange looking stallion. He was wearing a tophat that seemed to have half of it sawed off. His left eye was red while the right was blue, and his pupils were pink spirals. His coat was a bright pink and blue, while his mane and tail were a mixture of bright blue, green, and pink that went in every direction and way imaginable. He was smiling at Impaler.

"So good of you to come. Where are the alicorn sisters?" he asked while starting to look around.

"Who are you and what do you want with the sisters?"

"I dunno. You hurt them. Badly. While I was guarding them."

"Wha--" Impaler was cut off by another guard.

"Psycho?"

"Indeed. And you must pay for what you did to my little fillies. Up!"

The ground began to shake, and a giant mechanical spider made of clockwork and bronze rose from below the city with Psycho in its head and pulling the levers.

"Iz time to pay your due, Impaler!"

The spider began to swipe up clouds and turned them into sticky nets that it threw at the oncoming pegasi. The thing was destroying Canterlot while trying to get at Impaler. The guards were quite capable in destroying parts of it, but the broken pieces turned into miniature mechanical spiders that jumped on the attackers without hesitation.

Luna and Celestia arrived, finally, to see the damages being caused. They were too frightened to speak. They preferred to hide behind a building as the still sticky council members arrived.

"What in the realm of the elements is going on here?" Waterback shouted "What is that monstrosity?"

"Remember, Impaler? Yesterday, you swatted my little fillies after locking me out of the castle, even after I took the blame. I do not like it when somepony hurts my daughters, so you shall pay for this. Fire the lazor!"

The council members were shocked at this announcement. They knew it was Psycho, and he would have to deal with the consequences with what he was doing, but what he just said enraged everypony there. Even DrumBon, who was not the type to show any emotions besides joy, threw her hoof powerfully to the ground. Before they could call Impaler, however, the spider opened its mouth and expelled a gigantic blue beam at the pegasi in the air. Was it fatal? No. It only blew them away and knocked them unconscious with a powerful electro-shock, causing them to tumble into gigantic mushrooms that grew right below them. Unfortunately for Psycho, that blast blew his mecha into bits, so he began to jump on nothing while the pegasi tried to catch him. He would constantly flip while he tried to take a pot out from his hat. It was a pot full of itching powder. He would jump on the backs of the pegasi, twirl a bit, then empty a bit of itching powder on their backs, only to jump onto the next and repeat the process.

This occurred for hours, even when the unicorns came by and began to use their magic to knock away Psycho, the stallion would just pull out a bat and smack the balls of magic away. He would then start to river dance on the pegasi once more. It was only until he noticed Luna and Celestia looking at him that he was caught. He dropped his guard for a second, and in that time, a pegasus missed her tackle and knocked Psycho's hat off, causing him to plummet to the ground in a loud thump. Psycho's hat rolled towards the location of the sisters. Celestia wanted to levitate it towards her, but Luna insisted that she try for once. With a great strain, she managed to slowly lift the hat towards her, and hugged it dearly.

Psycho was immediately tied up and dragged towards the council. He wasn't smiling anymore. It was only when he caught a glimpse of Luna that he smiled again.

"Don't worry Woona, and stay with your sister. Family and fun is important. She'll watch over you while I'm gone. I should comeback in a short while. HAHAHAHAHA!"

"Take him away!" Impaler yelled after punching the foalsitter in the face. "Now then, find the sisters. We need to escort them back to the ca-"

"NOT SO FAST, IMPALER! Waterback shouted furiously. The entire council was there, and they were steaming in anger.

"Council member, you shouldn't be here. It's dangerous."

"Yes. For you! We heard what you did."

"You--"

"And don't try to weasel your way out of this." DrumBon screamed "You actually think that we'll believe you instead of him? It's your fault he became like that. By the powers invested into me, I hereby take away your title as Commander of the Council's militia. You are on dishonorable discharge. Leave our sight at once."

Impaler just stayed in place with his jaw hanging down. Waterback went towards the sisters, as he saw Celestia put a hoof out towards Psycho, who slowly disappeared behind a wall of smoke, never to be seen again.

"Come, girls. We will take good care of you now."

As the years passed by, Psycho remained in the dungeons of Canterlot, never aging, and only seeing everypony around him die of old age as he continue to smile like a maniac and perfect what little powers he could still use. Some of the events he interacted with was the saving of Pandora during the destruction of the Mage's tower. Time continued to fly by until he heard a voice within the dark, humid canopy of stone and staleness:

"Psycho, it's me."

He snapped his neck upwards and smiled. "Tia-Tia!"

After losing his position and the news of his actions reached the ears of Equestria, Impaler became an alcoholic. Constantly drinking and raging against that pinkish pony. One night, everything would change for him, though. As he walked through the streets of Canterlot, he heard a ticking noise, then spotted a purple mare wearing a gray cloak with golden clock pictures on it. Her mane and tail were more of a lavender color. Said mane was formed like a mohawk while the tail was in a hook shape. Both had a single, diagonal line of red passing through them.

"I see that you have had trouble with life. What I offer you in exchange of your insanity will grant you vengeance upon the one who dealt this blow to your pride and ego."

A dark portal opened up right behind her, blocking the mare from view. The dark portal expelled many flames and static from it as the anomaly convulsed in every way possible.

"And...and what's it gonna do ta me?!" Impaler said as he couldn't hold his balance and constantly tipped over.

"Hmhm." the mare turned around to show a rather stunning face, but eyes that looked like clocks. "Enter it and you will find out. Just know that most of your memories will be wiped."

"I don't care. I just want to kill that Psycho."

"Then enter, and be satisfied with the events that shall occur in the World of Insanity."

The stallion tipped and tripped as he tried to reach the anomaly, demonstrating the amazing patience of the purple mare. When he finally reached it, he fell in, and the portal closed. There was nothing left but the moonlight shining on the streets of Canterlot, and the purple mare starting to dance and sing:

"Oomf, oomf, oomf, and another one bites the dust. And another bites, and another one bites, another one bites the dust."