Marshmallow Madness
We sat around the campfire listening to old Hems Cough. He was telling his ridiculous stories about the old days. Back when Equestria was an independent nation, not governed under ‘The United Creatures Bureaucracy.’ We all know that the U.C.B. has it out for us ponies, otherwise why else would they constantly change the laws in favor of all those except the pony race.
How could Equestria function without the Bureaucracy anyway? The U.C.B. takes care of everything; taxes, food, energy sources and finally defenses. Without them we would still be a defenseless dysfunctional dystopia. Hems says that the U.C.B. changed the history books and that those are just lies. I don’t think that it matters whether he is right or wrong, besides it is a class-37d offense.
“Now back in my day there was a story that circulated around. It became popular as the ‘must tell around a campfire’ story. Do ya’ll wanna hear it?” Hems had broken me out of my thinking, about how he commits criminal activities. If there was any pony good at it then it was him.
There was a small hoot and holler for a response. He was always good at storytelling, it was after all what his cutie mark represented, even if the stories are ridiculous, he was still good at his deliveries.
Marnyle added another log to the campfire. Hems cleared his throat preparing for the story. Silence fell upon the circle as we waited for Hems. He began quietly. “Many years ago I was traveling, and in my travels I stumbled upon many things; lost kingdoms, ancient civilizations, forgotten treasures and most notably an ancient and evil entity resting inside a large dark catacomb sitting far below the surface.”
He paused letting everything sink in, letting the anticipation build. After what must have been a full minute of silence, he continued. “It was in this catacomb that I lost my back legs. I’ll never forget what I saw.” He never told us before why he didn't have any hindlegs. “Well that is for another time… because tonight I tell that popular story.”
He grinned. “On an evening unlike any other past, present or future evening where the fate of Equestria could very well have been in the balance. This was the night that the sky turned red.” He paused for the briefest of time. “You may be thinking… how can this evening be different than any other time Equestria's fate was in the balance? and I can tell you, or rather you can listen to my little tale and find out for yourselves. Which is it going to be?”
A unanimous ‘tell us’ was reached within seconds. It might not have been the story I was wanting, but it is a story from old Hems and how could anypony not look forward to his stories? He looked pleased that we all had wanted to hear his tale.
He slowly looked at each and everyone of us, his horn lit with magic. “It was typical for this story to get a… personal touch.” I didn't have anytime to figure out what that had meant. I was hit with whatever spell he just charged, and everything went black. I could only feel the emptiness inside the darkness. I was falling.
--- --- ---
I couldn't see anything as it was dark. I felt something beneath my hooves. It was cold and damp, and if I didn't know any better then I would say I’m now standing on stone. I tried moving, but to no avail.
It must have been five minutes later that the darkness faded with light flooding into my vision. I looked around at my surroundings. Cracked stone columns wrapped greedily by thick green vines. Underneath my hooves stretched cold grey stone, but it was cut stone forming an artificial flooring. There was remnants of what used to be a ceiling scattered out amongst the ground. Along several cracks ran several small streams providing dampness to all within range.
I tried to take a step in the direction of a large, mostly intact, wooden door. My hoof lifted into the air and set gently on top of one of the small stream. I tried moving closer to the door, step after step I moved closer. Something felt wrong with my body though.
I was slightly larger and taller, my legs felt heavier. “Eyum,” my voice is deeper… I’m, I’m a-a... a stallion. “AAAAGGGGHHHH!!”
A deep rumbling came from far behind me followed by a booming broken voice. “What mare dares to come into my sacred temple, my place of serene rest?”
“Mare? I-It doesn't seem like I’m a m-mare anymore.” I slowly started to turn around.
The voice rung out again. “Who is it who doesn't bring me my marshmallows?”
I quickly faced it. It was a large fleshy skeletal creature sitting up inside of a sarcophagus. “M-m-marsh...mallows? You want marshmallows?”
It looked right at me. “Bring me the MARSHMALLOWS.” I shrunk down. “NOW.”
“Eeep… right away!” I rushed to the door. It was closed. I pushed on the door with my hoof. It didn't budge, it must be stuck on something.
The monster boomed again. “GET. MY. MARSHMALLOWS. NOW,” it commanded.
“I-I can’t,” I whimpered.
It started to get out of its earthen coffin. “THEN YOU WILL BE MY MARSHMALLOW.”
Its marshmallow what does it mean? With its great big claws it reached out and picked me up. The beast was far larger than I initially thought. Toward its open maw I rose until I was right in front of its large sharp teeth.
“MARSHMALLOW,” it boomed. My ears felt like they were bleeding. It rose me above its now fully opened mouth. Once I was fully above, it released me and down I went. I entered the mouth and before I could move to get out, darkness enveloped as it slammed shut. I was falling again inside of the darkness.
--- --- ---
I was all of a sudden back around the campfire, screaming like everyone else. “What was that Hems?” Sour asked, while Hems was just bursting with laughter. Marnyle then asked him. “Why are you laughing?”
With everyone asking him he worked up enough strength away from laughing to give an answer. “Well… I never said... that it was a happy story.” He burst back into full laughter after he finished.
I should have known that he would have done that. After all he has committed class-78b offenses before, what made me think that he wouldn't do it again. Either way I’m just glad to be back inside of my actual body.