Spike's Imaginary(?) Friend

"If you can hear me Twi, blink once. If you can't, blink twice" I say to Twilight while she is reading some book. She did not blink, not even once. With all the cool stuff I can do from flying to stalking to walking through walls, it's not worth it. At least I wish I was a normal ghost, you know, the kind that stays behind you the whole time waiting for you to turn around and scare the living cookies out of you, or the ones that make things fly like crazy, or the ones that manipulate photos, or the ones that make sounds, or at least the friendly ones (Casper for example). Of all these kinds, I am this. No sleep, no food, no pain, no needs generally, and nobody/nopony can see or hear me beside Spike. And the last time he let the cat out of the bag crazy things happened. Speeking of which, why dont I jump from Canterlot Castle and see what it's like to free fall? It's not like I can die or feel anything.

"I hope I don't die. It's amazing what boredom does to you." I speek to myself from the zenith of the castle. "I FEEL PRETTY!!!" Was the only line I could think of after leaping, so I decided to complete it. "AND WITTY AND BRIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!" The ground got so close that I could see its details. "BCAU- AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!" I closed my eyes waiting for the stone pathway to come but it never came. "What the...?" I was hanging in the air before I hit the ground just like cartoons. "Of course this happened!" I then proceed to fly back to the library. Spike is my host after all and I havent been spending much 'friendly' time with him... And he's the only one that would actually reply.

"I hope he's not mad at me."

"Hey, Owlowicious, seen- never mind, you can't hear me anyways. Wait... Why did you say 'who' yesterday when I mentioned Rust?" He did not 'who'. I sigh. "A coincidence..." I was slowly losing it, hence talking to myself all the time... On second thought I was already used to doing that before all of this happened. I 'sit' and wait for Spike because I got bored of being a creep and playing suicide, and by 'sit' I mean float. "I can't even play the boring board games!"

"Hey Alex, what are you whining about?" Spike entered carrying quills and parchments.

"I'm not whining, I'm complaining. You wanna hear whining?" I thought I'd quote Rarity "Thiiis is whiiining! Why is this ghost body sooo uncomfortable? I can't eat or sleep or contact with anything like thiiis! I can't even play chess... And it's sooo booooring!"

"Alright then, stop whining and tell me where have you been?" I saw my chance.

"But I thought you waaaanted whiiiining!" nailed it!

"Seriously, explain. I can't let you run off like that, specially that you're something I don't exactly know." Buzzkill.

"Fine, I went to jump off the Canterlot Castle. Don't ask." I just told him something out of his general knowledge, but it's not useful. Does this count as violating the rules? Am I going to be insta-terminated?! Noooooooooooo-

"Ok, then. Can you help me with these?"

"Dude, no hands... Or anything really."

"Oh, right." I kind of felt bad for not helping the little guy. "Where is Twilight?" I wanted to make a friendly conversation.

"I don't exactly know, she's kind of always with her friends. And they don't have a scedual, just run off untill something happens... Twilight wasn't always this unorganized." That made me regret asking. I can't even do anything for the dragon.

"Spike, do you have friends?"

"Plenty, there is Pinkie-"

"Other than Twilight's"

"Well, I think Snipes and Snails count."

"Do you see them often?"

"What's with the intarrogation?"

"Answer my question. Do you or do you not see them often?" He didn't answer "Let me rephrase it. When was the last time you met them?" Still, no answer. "Answer Spike."

"I don't remember, ok?" he crossed his arms. "It's either the chores or Twilight wanting something from me. The only way to get out of this library is when I go get something for her!" Nice outburst.

"And why do you do this?"

"Because I'm her number one assistant."

"An assistant isn't a very great job to keep if you ask me."

"I didn't ask you." He stmoped his way up the stairs. I could've followed him and spied, but I don't want to upset someone who could poof up a chainsaw into existence and slash me to stakes. Well, not a chaisaw, but I'm sure that the butter knife is painful too.

"Spike! did you get the necessities?" Twilight shouted as she entered. "Spike?"

"Yeah, I got them." he said without showing us his face.

"Alright then."

It's 1:00 AM according to my biological clock and everypony and Spike were asleep. I was on the roof (which is branches and leaves) I floated on my back pretending that I had a bed. and thinking aloud to myself.

"If Spike really hates being an assistant, why does he put up to it? I mean, an assistant isn't a very honoring title."

"He doesn't hate the job; Remember when Owlowicious first came to sight?"

"If you put it that way, but I think that he was more annoyed at being unappreciated than the loss of his work."

"Yeah, that's it. he wants appreciation. And as his Imaginary friend I will make that happen."

"But how? I can't touch anything or talk with anypony. And I certainly can't tell Spike any outer knowledge... Things will get ugly."

"Twilight! She's the answer! If I can just get her to find another assistant that'll be number two, spike will be appreciated and at the same time he will have free time."

"There is the owl."

"Who?" I laugh at my own lame joke. "But seriously, let Owlowicious do some work and get Spike's scaly behind out there."

"Man, thinking aloud is way better than keeping it silent."

"But how are you going- I mean, how am I going to make my plan happen?" I ponder the thought for a moment, then I realize something. "I could've had some friends if I got my behind out there...maybe even a girlfriend, the new girl next door was cute..." There, now I have to get her out of my head, even though I only saw a glimpse of her when her family was moving stuff in, and I was forced into greeting a simple 'hi' and that was it, I would've slept over the matter and forgot it by the time I normally wake up (noon at holidays), but there are certain 'conditions' preventing that. "So much for thinking clearly."