Fallout Equestria: Falling Shadows

“I still love you Shadow and I will for the rest of my days,”

Shadow Star…

My body felt like shit, that was the first thing I’d noticed when my mind finally felt like it’d pulled itself back together. I still had no idea how long I’d been out of it, or even what day, month, or even year it was. My head swam with left over magical energy, either from holding the magic of the Megaspells or from whatever happened to me after I’d blacked out.

‘What the hell happened to me?’ I thought to myself as I did my best to pull myself back to the waking world. A spike of pain ran through my brain as a few flashes of memory flowed through my head. I couldn’t make sense of it all, so I did my best to push through the pain. Finally, my head started to feel better, and I was able to slowly open my eyes.

The room I was in was dim, only a small light came from a nightstand. For a long moment I just looked at the side of the bed trying to pull my scattered memories together. It was no use, the last thing I remembered was going into the Megaspell Chamber and pulling that massive amount of magic toward me so Solstice could get to the terminal. A quick flash of memory hit me right then of Solstice slamming into me and flying me out of the chamber. I smiled, happy to know that she’d made it out of there alive.

I turned my head to see if I could figure out where I was then froze as my eyes fell on Aura. She was sitting next to the bed, her head and one talon laying on the side of the bed. How’d she gotten here? Where was here? Was I still in The Badlands or did my friends take me back to New Pegasus? Honestly it didn’t matter at the moment. I’d find out sooner or later, I took the time to just look at Aura sleeping next to me. I saw a scar going across her face and she was missing half a digit on her talon, but she was still beautiful. After doing everything I could to forget about her, to drink away her memory, to pretend like my love for her was gone, the sight of her still made my heart skip a beat and a deep longing filled my soul. Five months had passed since I’d seen her and so much had happened, and I still knew that I loved her. The question was, did she still love me? I felt tears come to my eyes as I slowly reached a hoof out to rest on her talon. She stirred a little in her sleep mumbling under her breath before settling back down.

‘Remember to find your virtue and the meaning of who you are,’ I heard run through my head as a slight echoing memory floated through my mind.

I pulled my hoof away from Aura and frowned wondering where that thought came from. I closed my eyes and tried to pull the memory forward, but it kept slipping away. I sighed and opened my eyes again. I might not be able to remember where that memory came from, but I knew that it was right. I’d been going against who I was over the past few months, acting like an angry foal. As I thought about my actions a slight need came over me. I needed a drink, something strong to push back the anger and the pain I’d been doing my best to hide. I hadn’t stopped drinking even after I told Oricalcos and the rest I would try and change. I tried to stop…well I told myself I was trying, but all I did was go from openly being a drunk bitch to secretly drinking when no one was watching. I looked toward the nightstand, recognizing it after a moment as the one next to the bed I normally slept in while we’d been at Rawr’s den. I had a flask that was still halfway full of Unicorn’s Bliss. I felt the need to drink more, take a swig or two to fill me. I looked back at Aura who was still sleeping then turned my attention back to the nightstand. Using my magic, I slowly pulled open the drawer and retrieved the small flask.

I unscrewed the top and brought the flask up to my muzzle, the aroma filling my nose with a strong yet wonderful scent. I’d fallen in love with the drink a couple months back. I had no idea what was in it, I never asked, but with only a sip or two, everything that was weighing down on my mind vanished, and I would feel peaceful for a little while. Even better I got a very nice buzz from the sparkly clear drink and no hangover. I needed my mind to calm down, I needed the feelings welling up inside of me at seeing Aura again to go away. I NEEDED to get my head back on track so I could be the mare I’d chosen to become. Right now, my feelings for Aura were overwhelming me and The Silver Demon had no place in her heart for emotions like that. The Silver Demon only felt hate, rage, lust, pride, envy, greed, and at times gluttony, though not for food but for power and respect. I couldn’t go back on this new me, she was required to kill Aquila, to stop Falling Shadows, to save Equus. Shadow’s dead…Star’s dead…The Courier’s dead, only The Demon is left. I needed to be like Night Stalker, he killed off his past as Absent Moon and dominated Equestria from the shadows. He was feared, respected, and powerful. If he would’ve stayed that ruthless monster he became then, Thunderlane would’ve never been able to trick him into falling from the Enclave, he would’ve stopped Falling Shadows. He hadn’t though, he’d let his old self show and because of that, he died, most of his children died and his family…my family fell from grace for nearly two hundred years.

Stealing myself, I brought the opening to my lips and was about to take a swallow of the addicting bliss of the Liquor. I was stopped by a voice in my head, that of my grandmother Minuette who was now the Alicorn Violet, “Are you really this weak now Shadow? So weak that you’ve turned to drink to help you hide your problems?”

I looked toward the door and saw her standing in the dark entrance, her blue eyes glaring at me, the Alicorn Amulet glowing around her neck. I opened my muzzle to speak, but she cut me off by using her mind-to-mind trick, “Do not speak, I don’t want to wake Aura. She’s been up for three days keeping you alive and she needs her rest. Now follow me quietly, I wish to have a word with you.”

I was about to tell her where she could shove it, but to my shock and outrage, she used her magic to rip the flask away from me and another spell to cover my muzzle so I couldn’t yell out. She followed that up by using her magic to lift me from the bed and pull me close to her. Her angry stare boring into me. Then she teleported us out of the room in a flash of red and blue light.

I knew she was pissed as soon as we teleported, she wasn’t gentle about it. When we reappeared a few moments later, I knew we were far from Rawr’s home. The air was thicker, and rain was pounding down from the dark sky above. She dropped me into a mud puddle then cast a spell over us that blocked the rain and wind. I groaned as I pulled myself out of the stinky mud and glared up at her, “What the fuck is your…”

Her hoof slapped me so hard that I was thrown face first into the force field and then back into the mud. I cursed and got back to my hooves only to have her slap me again as she said with her muzzle this time, “You don’t get to take that tone with me young filly! Now stay down for a minute, I’ll tell you when you can speak and when you do it better be with more respect!”

I glared up at her and yelled, “Oh fuck you,” and blasted a powerful spell at her, only to have it blocked with a simple flick of her horn. My eyes went wide as her horn flashed and I was picked up and once again, dropped into the smelly mud.

She ignored my angry glare and cast a few spells over the flask. A moment later her eyes widened, and she looked at me again, “Do you know what’s in this flask?”

“Unicorn’s Bliss, now give it back to me before I…” I started to say before she cut me off with a spell, making it so I couldn’t move my muzzle.

“This Shadow is a mix of a couple of liquors and a very powerful drug known as Moon Dust. It’s highly addictive and it dulls the senses. I’ve also heard of it being used to make different kinds of drinks, Unicorn’s Bliss, Horned Pleasure, Angel Tears, it has many names, but it all does the same thing. It gets ponies addicted to it and unicorns especially have a hard time controlling their magic when they are drinking this swill. Whoever got you to start drinking this was trying to weaken you and from what I can see, they were doing a good job,” she said, anger in her voice.

Anger rushed through me as I pulled on my magic, “I’ll show you who’s weak, you science experiment gone wrong!” I blasted a dark magic spell at her that my uncle had taught me. It wasn’t meant to hurt, but to mess with a target’s mind to make them re-live one of the worst memories they had. For Violet who was Minuette that would be the day she’d lost Amethyst. I grinned as I watched the spell slam into her head and her face grew slack for a moment. That’ll show her who’s the weak one.

It only lasted a moment though. Her amulet flashed red then she shook her head and glared at me, “I see your uncle’s been teaching you some dark magic. I admit, if you’d been as strong as you’re supposed to be then that might’ve worked, maybe for a few moments but I know how to protect my mind from that kind of thing. Now stop acting like a filly. I brought you out here to have a conversation with you and to find out why you’ve been acting like an idiot for the past five months.”

“I don’t need to hear anything from you Grandma,” I said with utter hatred, “You have no idea what I had to do to survive, what I needed to become to fix the FUCK UP you and the rest of the Children brought down on this world!”

She walked closer to me, her anger plain on her face. “You think I don’t know what you’re going through? Do you have any idea what I’ve had to do to keep you alive over the past five months? Do you know the lies I had to tell your friends so they wouldn’t come looking for you? Do you even understand the shit I have to deal with in my own head to keep from going mad again like I did two hundred years ago? I know more than you might think about you, about your so-called mission and more about the Project I helped build!”

She was screaming at the end, making my anger go down a bit as I took a step back. I looked into those eyes, deep down I saw her, the mare who’d lost everything. She’d lost her lover, her family, the friends she had in The Children, her foal, her respect, her hyper intelligent mind, and her own will for most of her life. Minuette was right, I knew nothing about loss or pain, not like she did, and I definitely didn’t know even half about Falling Shadows. This was a mare who had become one of the first Children of The Night, she’d fought beside the monster who had been my grandfather Night Stalker. She loved her comrades, seeing them as a new family, only to watch them die or betray each other. This was the mare who built powerful superweapons, who made powerful armor for her friends, the mare who did her best every day to smile so she could bring a little brightness to the dark life that was war. She was the one who fought her demons and her madness so she could give somepony in the future a glimpse of hope by locking down her greatest creation so it could be destroyed in the future.

“I’m…sorry Minuette,” I said softly as lightning flashed in the distance.

Her face calmed a little and she took a step back, she looked at the flask and before I could even try and stop her, she poured it out onto the ground before chucking the flask away. I wanted to yell again, but I held my tongue. She looked back at me, saying, “Shadow, I don’t need you to be sorry, I need you to get better. You need to fix yourself, because if you don’t, you’re going to die and Equus will be doomed. We all need Shadow Star back, not The Silver Demon, not even The Courier, we need you.”

The emotions were building up again inside me and I wanted more than anything for them to just go away, but deep down I knew she was right and once again I heard the echo of that strange memory, ‘You need to find your virtue.’ So, I choked down my anger and the sadness and looked up at my great, great, and so-on grandmother, “I…I don’t know if I can go back to being Shadow…she’s weak…I need to be The Silver Demon…I need to be strong, that’s the only way I can kill Aquila and stop Mezzanotte.”

She sighed. “I’m not sure if you heard me or not earlier, but I’ve done a lot to keep you safe over the past five months, do you know how?”

I frowned. “I don’t see how that could be possible, no pony knew where I was and if you’d been around, I would’ve known. Alicorns aren’t common in the Badlands, somepony would’ve said something if they’d seen you.”

She smiled a little then turned invisible for a moment. “I can go many places without being seen Shadow and as for knowing where you were, that was easy. I found your trail a week after you left. You are of my blood, and I can find you anywhere on Equus.”

I frowned again. “If that’s true, then why didn’t you force me to go back to New Pegasus?”

“You needed to go away for a while. If you would’ve stayed, then your anger would have killed you. Before the attack by Aquilla, I was going to suggest you head to The Badlands anyway to come to the tower so you could take it down and maybe stay away for a little while so you could heal and get your emotions under control. When you left and started heading to The Badlands, I hoped you would do what you needed to do and maybe find yourself while you took that journey,” she said.

“Instead, I became The Silver Demon…but what did you mean by you protected me?” I asked.

She looked a little sheepish as she said, “When Aura or the others didn’t need me, I teleported out to you and kept an eye on you. I was going to talk with you, but I ran into Oricalcos and Vervain. They told me that you needed to be left alone and asked that I’d let you do what you needed to and that they would keep an eye on you to make sure you didn’t get too far out of hoof. I of course didn’t fully believe them so I followed you when I could and watched as your darkness grew. I was worried at first, but I decided that it was up to you to find your way back to the light. There were times however when you went too far and angered the wrong ponies. I had to step in to keep them from hunting you down and killing you. A couple months ago I almost showed myself when you and Solstice destroyed that town with Solar Flare.”

“They were slavers! They had to die!” I said angrily.

The look of utter disgust she gave me at those words chilled me to the core. “Some if not most of them were slavers yes, yes some of them did deserve to die for what they did to the ponies and zebras they enslaved. The problem with what you did was you didn’t take the time to find out who was a slaver because they liked it or who was only living there and doing what they had to do to survive. You also didn’t kill just slaver ponies, you killed wives who had nothing to do with the business, husbands who were just trade ponies, and you’re lucky that you didn’t kill any fillies or colts.”

I felt sick as she said that. I knew I’d let my hatred go wild that day, but at least I had made sure to have some of the ponies from that town get the foals out of there. I felt tears start to fall as the realization of what I’d been doing finally hit me like a rock. I looked up at her. “What have I become!? I said I’d never use that weapon like that again, I wouldn’t let another Appleton happen, but…I was so angry…so very angry and full of hate. I didn’t care who got hurt, not at that moment.”

Violet moved close and put a hoof on my shoulder. “You also did a good thing that day. You rescued the slaves and made sure they got to a safe place, you even let a young zony join you. You may have done an evil act, but there is still good deep down in you Shadow. You just need to find yourself and start fixing the cracks in your soul.”

I started to cry as I said, “I want to, but I don’t know how! Even if I could, what good would it do for me to go back to being a weak mare? I hate what I am, but it’s necessary to fix things, to make Equus better.”

She frowned, then picked me up in her magic and shook me a little before getting her muzzle close to mine, before saying, “Shadow, you aren’t weak!”

I sniffed as snot ran down my nose. “But I am!”

“No, you’re not, The Silver Demon is weak. She may seem powerful and able to take on the world, but all I see in her, is a reflection of the same pony who ran The Children of the Night who thought he needed to be a monster to fix Equestria. I watched once as somepony I cared about went down a dark path and lost himself to the mask he was trying to make everypony think he was all while hiding his true self behind death, murder, anger, and more. I won’t watch my own flesh and blood go down that path. You have the good and the bad of your distant Grandfather in you,” she said.

I sniffed again. “Absent Moon…Night Stalker was strong though.”

She smiled sadly, “Absent Moon was strong, Night Stalker however was a coward, and he knew it deep down. He was so scared of ponies knowing his true nature that he became a monster so no one would get close to him. He failed in the end, but he still tried as hard as he could to keep the mask of The Night Stalker in place. I knew him before the killing and the war did it’s best to stomp the light out of a gentle soul. When I lost my mind, I stopped seeing the captain who brought me into his small family, the stallion who told me that he wanted me to smile every day, the pony who introduced me to the mare I fell in love with. I stopped seeing the buck who loved a griffon he grew up with so much that he couldn’t even tell her how he felt, not because he was scared of what others would think of him, but because he wanted to make sure no one would ever treat her different. I only saw the mask of Night Stalker and because of that, the world almost died.”

“What…do you mean by the world almost died?” I asked, seeing tears in her eyes.

“I…I got intel while I was locking down Falling Shadows, intel that warned about the possible megaspell attack that was going to hit Equestria. I was so crazed with loss that I just didn’t care, and I went to find my friend Twilight so she could take away memories, instead of warning one of my truest friends about the attack. If I would’ve gone back, I could’ve made Night Stalker see what Falling Shadows really was, I could’ve stopped millions of ponies from dying, I could’ve worked with my old team again to save my home. Instead, I just laughed at the dying world and let The Goddess take me and I laughed as the world burned,” she said doing her best not to cry.

“That’s not your fault though Min, you were suffering, also you don’t know if you could have stopped the attack or not. You could’ve ended up dying in the blasts and where would we all be now?” I said.

She sighed and rubbed her eyes as she set me down. “I know, but the point is, I gave up and because of that Equestria paid the price. Night Stalker gave up for many years and lots of ponies died. I know it’s not fair for the sins of my past to be put on your shoulders, but sadly, the wasteland isn’t fair. You’re the only pony who can finish what the rest of us started.”

“But…how can I do that? I don’t even know who I am deep down, I don’t know if I have a virtue or if I do what it is. Hell, I don’t even understand my own special talent,” I said sadly.

“Everypony has a virtue, some good, some bad, but it’s there. You need to take a good look at who you are deep down and figure out what your soul truth is. When you do that, you’ll also understand who you are and what your special talent is,” she said with a slight smile.

“But how do I do that?” I asked.

She looked around, her eyes seeming to explore the dark rainy landscape around us. “By going on a walk, clearing your mind of all the pain and hurt inside of you and finding the truth of who you really are.”

I looked around too. “Go on a…walk? Here?” I asked.

She nodded. “We are a long way from the Badlands. If you keep heading north, you’ll find an M.A.S.E.B.S. tower. If you make it there, you’ll find a door on its west side. Go inside and you should find what you’re looking for. The code to enter is the date Equestria truly died.”

My eyes went wide. “Wait, if I make it? Aren’t you coming with me?”

She shook her head. “This is a journey you must take alone. I’m taking a major gamble here. You are important Shadow, but if you can’t fix yourself, then it won’t matter if you live to try and stop Falling Shadows or not,” And before I could even protest her words, she cast a spell, and the world went black.

***

Minuette AKA Violet…

I looked down at the small body of my distant Granddaughter and felt a pain of guilt for doing this to her. She’d been through so much since she’d left her Stable nearly nine months ago. Even though our blood-ties were generations apart and that of my old friend and leader, I still saw so much of Night Stalker’s fire and pain in her. I also saw my own stubbornness. I was also amazed by how much raw power she held inside her small body. If she hadn’t been drinking so much of that blasted Unicorn’s Bliss over the past couple of months her power would’ve been greater than my own. I’d once known Princess Luna and Celestia and their own power was barely above what Shadow had inside her. Not only was she more powerful than she thought. She also had a balance of both dark and light magic inside her, something I’d never seen in my life, though I’d heard stories about unicorns like that from long ago. The first leader of the original Children of The Night, Moon Light was one such mare. A mare who gave her life to lock away the very creature that Falling Shadows could set loose from Tartarus.

I sighed as memories of the night I’d found out what the project I’d put so much of my life into came to light. It was only by chance that I’d found the old journal that Celestia herself had written after the battle that had destroyed the original Children, Luna’s adopted children and personal guards. I knew from the start that once Falling Shadows was finished, the power it would produce could open up a door into the depths of Tartarus. I thought nothing of it, Celestia and Luna both said that no prisoners were in the lower depths of the other worldly prison. I shouldn’t have been surprised that they’d lied. Maybe if I’d told them why I wanted to know, they would’ve told me the truth, but by then Night Stalker had lost faith in Celestia and Luna, I did as well, we all did.

We were all loyal to the Princesses, especially Luna, but as the war dragged on and the Ministries started to make things in Equestria worse for ponies and zebras, we all started to hate the way the government was acting. Luna was miserable. The longer she ran the country, the deeper her misery became. Truly ever since the night that Night Stalker lost his adopted sister he’d stopped caring what the Princesses wanted or the rest of the Ministries.

I did my best to pull myself away from my dark memories, they would do me no good and only lead back to the madness I barely kept at bay. I used my magic to pull the small satchel I had on my back open, pulling out Misery. I took a moment to look over one of the twin swords I’d help create for one of my closest friends. I was surprised to find that they were still around and even more so that the magic I’d enchanted them with had grown a kind of sentience. It wasn’t intelligent in the same way a pony, griffon or zebra was, but the sword, both of them I’m sure, knew where each other were at all times and they could even refuse to work properly for anypony but the ones they chose to be their wielder. I hadn’t put any spells like that on them when I’d helped make them.

“Hello old friend, I’m glad that you’ve found a new home with Shadow, keep her safe out here,” I said to the blade and smiled as it glowed a little brighter than normal before it pulled itself from my magical hold and spun around, sinking itself in the muddy ground next to Shadow.

I smiled again before taking a few steps back. “I hope you make it through this trial granddaughter. If so, I will see you back at Tower 2 and I hope you’ve found your true self by then,” with that said, I teleported away, hoping I hadn’t just sent Shadow to die for a second time. Either way, I had more work to do tonight.

***

Shadow…

I jolted awake as thunder cracked. I jumped to my hooves looking around for Violet then cursed as I saw that she’d left me here, alone. I was even angrier that not only had she left me here, but she’d also left me with no armor, no food, and no weapons. I had no fucking idea where I even was. To make things even worse, the rain was coming down in sheets now and the darkness around me was utterly black. I turned to try and get an idea, ANY IDEA, of where I was when my hoof ran into something hard. I jumped then looked down and saw a slight silvery blue glow. Looking closer my eyes went wide as I saw Misery stuck into the mud next to me.

I used my magic to pull it from the ground, watching as the mud and rain slid off the blade as if it couldn’t stand anything marking its beautiful black and blue surface. I sighed and turned until my E.F.S. faced north, then flipped on my Pip-Light. Holding Misery in my magical grip I pulled my hoof from the mud and slowly started heading that way. I wasn’t sure how long this was going to take or what the point of going to this M.A.S.E.B.S. tower was, but if Violet said I had to go there, then I didn’t have much of a choice. She could’ve picked a better time though; fuck the rain.

As I trudged through the mud doing my best not to trip over my own hooves, I started thinking more about what she’d said to me. ‘I need to find who I am deep down, find my inner truth, and my special talent,’ I thought to myself. I growled in frustration as the rain fell even harder and lightning flashed in the distance followed by thunder. My body was shivering from the chilly temperature, but I did my best to ignore that, and the mild headache I could feel just behind my eyes.

“Who am I really?” I said to the empty space around me, before looking back at my cutie mark. I’d never understood the eight-pointed star with the crossed gold skeleton keys before. So, I did my best to remember the day I’d gotten it. It was nearly six years ago now, not long before my birthday and as always, I’d been causing trouble for Overmare Wildfire.

I kept my eyes forward, watching my E.F.S. to make sure I kept going straight north, but also making sure no red lines showed up indicating an enemy. As I did, I let my mind wander back to that day. The Overmare’s security team caught me sneaking food the night before from Level 9. It was one of the first times I’d been in so much trouble that I’d been sent to the cells in security. The Overmare came down to see me herself and she’d given me quite a lecture on how stealing food, even a small amount, could mess up a delicate balance in The Stable. She’d let me out after the talking-to, but not before she’d taken something from me that really pissed me off. At the time I had a small spell book that mom left me.

The spell book was more of a journal with a few spells in it and a few notes of Mom’s that talked about some of the research she’d worked on with magical theory. I’d found most of it boring when I was that age, probably still would now. That wasn’t why I kept it on me back then. I kept it on me because it had a photo of Mom and I in it. At the time I had no idea where the picture was taken, I was only about four in the photo, with light gray walls and a small desk in the background. Now I know that picture was taken a little before we left The Crystal Empire. Back then it was one of the only things I had of my mom’s. The Overmare took it saying that she believed that she left encoded messages in it about Stable 28.

The next day I waited close to her office, until she’d left to go check on something going on in one of the research labs. Back then I wasn’t as good with lockpicking as I am now, but her office wasn’t too hard to break into, so I managed it quickly. I snuck through her office looking in every drawer and box I could find but had no luck for at least an hour. I was about to give up when I’d heard soft crying coming from The Overmare’s personal quarters. When I checked on who was in her room, I saw Balefire. Back then we weren’t close, but he was always nice to me, so risking getting into even more trouble I’d gone in and asked him what was wrong. At first he was surprised to find me coming in from his mother’s office, but he got over it quickly and broke down, telling me about problems he was having with some of the other colts in his class.

I sat with him for a little while and even though I was scared of getting caught by his mother, I stayed and listened and even gave him a little advice on what he could do to get the others to treat him better. At first he got an uptight attitude with me, which was common with him back then, being The Overmare’s son, even if he’d never be Overmare himself seeing how it was a mare-only job. Back then he used to act like he was important and above most of the stable because of his mother. Even with his bad attitude I saw a kind soul inside him and a want to be a better pony. So, I told him that one of his biggest problems with most of the other colts and fillies was his attitude and that he needed to remember that no matter who his mother was, he was still a normal citizen of the stable. No matter how high up any pony was in Stable 28, we all had to work together to make sure the stable ran properly and kept us safe from the deadly wasteland. He thought about that for a while and I’m sure he would’ve talked with me more if I hadn’t heard a security pony talking outside the office saying something about the Overmare coming back soon.

I had nowhere to go, so I told Balefire why I came and to my surprise he told me to go hide under his mother’s desk and he’d do his best to distract her so I could escape, and he’d also look for my mother’s journal for me. I had no choice but to run and hide. I only just made it under the desk when she came into her office followed by our head of security at the time and two other ponies. She’d been in such a foul mood that she was already yelling about something when she came into her office. I cowered deep in the shadows under the desk and listened as she yelled and even threw something at a wall that shattered. I could hear Balefire trying to talk with her to calm her down, but she wasn’t having it. I had no idea how I was going to get out.

My mind raced as I tried to think of a way to escape before the pissed off bitch of an Overmare found me in her office. Then I saw her legs show up near the desk and in a panic I pulled on my magic and wished for only one thing. I wanted to be outside the office so I could run back to my room and hide. To my shock, my magic seemed to listen to me and in a flash of red light I was outside the office a little way down from the door where I could hear The Overmare still yelling at her underlings. At the time I was so scared that I just ran for it. It wasn’t till later that night when Milkshake was staying over for a slumber party with me that I even knew that I’d gotten my cutie mark.

Later when I’d tell the story to others, I always told them I snuck into the Overmare’s office on a dare. I was too embarrassed to say that I’d gone in there to get something of mine back. Balefire found the journal the next day and brought it to me and I gave it to Auntie to keep it safe. I’d always thought I’d gotten my cutie mark that day because of how I broke into her office and escaped with magic. Looking back on it now, I wasn’t so sure if that was the case, well not all of it. After that night Balefire changed and became a much better colt and a closer friend. I’d seen something in him and brought it out making him a better pony. There was something about my train of thought that tugged on my mind, but I couldn’t quite get a grasp on it.

I once again looked back at my cutie mark and once again looked at the eight-pointed star, “What did Uncle Ori call you again?” I said to myself thinking back to the day he’d first showed himself once again after I’d thought I’d killed Pride. He’d used one of his shadow powers to hide in my shadow and used that same power to talk to me in a dream like state.

Then I remembered Uncle Ori’s words from the day when I blew up Mill City Tower. “No, your cutie mark is a sign of your power. You have what’s known as the octogram or the points of balance. Each point of the star represents a quality that’s important in balance when it comes to magic. Beauty, strength, power, compassion, honor, humility, mirth, and reverence. Each of these are what’s needed for perfect balance, in either magic, or a pony. Each one is a quality I’m sure you possess.”

I stopped and reaching back with my hoof I pointed at the top of the octogram or the top of my star, “Beauty,” I moved to the right to the next point, “Strength, power, compassion, honor, humility, mirth and reverence,” I said finishing on the last point to the left of the top, “How are these qualities he would think I have. I’m not beautiful, I mean I’m not bad looking, but I’ll never be as cute as Wind Thrasher or beautiful like The Queen. I know now that I’m strong in more than one way and powerful, but I don’t think that’s really a quality, more of what I’ve had to become to survive. I guess I had compassion in the past, but not as much recently. The rest I don’t see in me, but maybe honor, humility, and reverence are something others see in me that I can’t. Mirth? Well, that depends on the day I guess.”

I sighed and turned back to the north, trying to use what happened to me on the day I got my cutie mark, mixed with what my uncle said to me, and what others have said to me during my journey. I was still deep in thought when a red line showed up on my E.F.S., I was so lost in my own head that I didn’t notice it at first, nor the six others that showed up, not until the first ghoul came screaming at me from out of the downpour. Honestly, I might’ve been hurt badly if it wasn’t for Misery. The sword tugged on my magic at the last second and brought me out of my own head just in time to slash the pegasus ghoul right before it hit me, cutting it in half. Shaking from the sudden dump of adrenalin I looked around and saw more and more red lines appearing.

“Well, this isn’t good,” I said to myself as another ghoul, a unicorn this time ran toward me with feral eyes. I dodged the monster and slashed at its hide making it scream in pain as I opened its side with Misery’s tip. I ducked another charging ghoul and blasted it with a spell before teleporting out of the way of four more, making their heads slam into each other with a sickening crunch when I reappeared a few feet away.

I looked around and felt my legs go weak as more and more red lines appeared on my E.F.S. At first dozens, then hundreds. It got to the point where my E.F.S. was filled with red. I was surrounded by feral ghouls, and powerful deadly bounty hunter unicorn or not, there was no way I could fight all of them and live. I faced north and did the only thing I could, I ran like a scared filly, slashing Misery at every ghoul that got in my way and blasted the rest when I had to. The only way I was going to survive was to make it to the M.A.S.E.B.S. tower that I hoped wasn’t too far away.

***

Oricalcos…

I awoke to the scream of a pissed off griffon in the next room followed by said griffon yelling at somepony. I yawned and hoped that this was Aura and Star figuring their shit out and not the start of a fight. I’d let it go unless I started feeling magic get involved. I felt the mare in my bed stretch and sit up and I looked at her with a smile, “Good morning Vervain.”

“Is it even morning yet?” she asked, looking around the dark room sleepily, “Is that Aura yelling at somepony?”

“Sounds like it, though I can’t make out what she’s saying,” I admitted moving in and kissing her softly, “It’s probably just her and Star working things out. I’m sure they’ll be fine.”

She sat up even straighter. “Shadow’s awake!?”

“I’m not sure, but when we went to bed last night, she was doing a lot better and sleeping normally. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’d woken up by now,” I said doing my best to keep her calm. I knew how she felt, I was very protective of my niece just like Vervain was, but I had a better understanding of Star’s abilities than she did. I knew that magic wouldn’t keep her down once she stabilized. I’d been worried when her heart stopped, but thanks to a bit of magic and quick thinking, we got it going again quickly. After Aura showed up and put her medical talents to work, she started doing a lot better.

“We should go check on them just in case,” Vervain said, getting out of bed slowly.

“I guess you’re right, but I’m afraid we might just get in the way,” I said following her lead and getting up as well.

“LISTEN TO ME YOU BIG BLUE WINGED BITCH,” I clearly heard Aura scream, “If you don’t tell me where you took her RIGHT NOW, I’ll run this spear so far up your ass, you’ll never be able to shit right again!”

My eyes went wide at that, not so much about what Aura said about threatening to put her spear up an Alicorn’s ass, but at the fact that Star was gone. I looked at Vervain, “This isn’t good,” and she nodded and followed me as we ran out of our room and to the one next to us where I saw Violet facing down a very pissed off Aura.

I saw Violet’s horn flash and Aura’s voice was cut off by a silencing spell. Then my distant grandmother turned Alicorn said calmly, “If you’d let me speak for a few moments, Aura, I can tell you where I sent her and why. Now calm down before I really get upset and start showing you what I’m capable of.”

“What does she mean that Star’s gone?” I asked when I could.

Aura glared at Violet but nodded and I saw Violet remove her spell. Once she was done with that she looked at me saying in her controlled voice, “I discovered something about Shadow when I came to check on her a couple hours ago. She’s been drinking a dangerous liquor called Unicorn’s Bliss. I realized that she’s been getting weaker since I saw her last and her deep anger and depression was killing her. So, I decided that the only way to fix the problem was to take her far away from here to go on a small journey to find herself.”

“No, that can’t be right, Shadow stopped drinking a few weeks ago after we had to flee Armadillo after she killed the bounty hunter. She swore to me that she was trying to get better,” Vervain said.

“I noticed she was getting weaker, but I figured that was from her depression,” I added.

“What the fuck is Unicorn’s Bliss?” Aura asked, doing her best to stay calm.

Vervain looked at all three of us then rolled her eyes. “I understand a filly like Shadow not understanding what that drink is, but I figured the rest of you would know what it is,” she sighed again before continuing, “It’s also been called Horned Pleasure, Angel Tears, Luna’s Nectar, Moon’s Love, Drink of the Goddess, Death’s Embrace, and many more, but the main thing is that these drinks have a good amount of Moon Dust in them.”

I felt my body go cold as she said those names. I knew of a couple of them but never heard of it being called Unicorn’s Bliss. One thing is for sure, every drink that has Moon Dust in it is deadly to Unicorns. It saps our magic slowly when it’s in a drink form like that, but it’s almost as addictive as pure Moon Dust. I’d seen a few Unicorns slowly get weaker and die from it.

I looked at Vervain then Aura. “If Star’s been drinking that for too long, then it may be almost impossible for her to get over the addiction that comes with it.”

Aura looked a little scared too. “I’ve heard of Luna’s Nectar before, I’ve seen it kill unicorns, who would give that shit to her?”

Vervain was shaking with rage as she said, “That bitch bartender at Tails Up back in Armadillo. She’s been scared of Shadow ever since she started going to that damned brothel. I bet she knew it would weaken Shadow or The Silver Demon. I’ll kill the bitch!”

Violet looked at Vervain. “I’ve already killed her and a couple other ponies in that town. I went there right after I left Shadow near a place where I know she can get the help she needs to find her true self. There was a plot in the town to kill her for a couple of months now. I really hope you all don’t need to go back to that town, because you’re going to find that you’re even more unwelcome there than you had been before.”

“We left that place behind after what happened and I’m glad that you took care of the ones who wanted to kill her, but how did you know all of this?” I asked.

“Gaston told her,” Aura said, surprising myself and Vervain.

“How do either of you know about Shadow’s body guard?” Vervain asked.

Aura shrugged. “He’s my cousin, I found out about him a month or so ago after I killed his mother and my aunt. I guess in the end she was trying to help us in her own way, but I wounded her badly when we fought to take back Crimson Canyon and she didn’t make it. However, I was able to find a long-range broadcaster she had on her that let me contact him. I didn’t know until a couple weeks ago that he’d been working with Shadow.”

“If that’s so, then why didn’t you come sooner?” I asked, “I mean I know that Violet knew where we were for months, but if you finally found her then why didn’t you come get her until last night?”

“I couldn’t leave New Pegasus until recently for one, also it took Gaston a while to start trusting me once I told him I killed his mom. He also was under contract with Shadow so he couldn’t tell me much till she let him out of his contract. Still, I didn’t know where any of you were until Violet told me two days ago once she felt something change in the magic around this place,” Aura said then glared back at Violet, “Speaking of which, you’re going to tell me why you’ve been hiding information from me for months Min! Also, tell me where Shadow is, she needs help if she’s alone in The Wasteland!”

“I’ll tell you all I know in a moment Aura, but as to where I put Shadow, it won’t matter. By the time you could fly to her, she will either be finished with her task, or she’ll be dead,” The Alicorn said calmly.

“Dead!?” Aura yelled.

“Yes,” Violet said before Aura could start yelling again, “I hate it as much as you do, but Shadow is in a dark place right now and the only way she can fix herself is to do this on her own,” she turned to look at me, “Oricalcos, you should understand what I’m having her do. That is if my descendants still do the path of the soul ceremony.”

My eyes went wide. “We haven’t in a couple of generations, I think the last member of the family to do one was my grandmother. I was going to have Grim go on one, but she found her magic and cutie mark, so I didn’t need to.”

“I’m lost. What is a Path of the Soul Ceremony?” Vervain asked.

“I’d like to know that too,” Aura added.

I looked at them. “It’s a journey of sorts. A young colt or filly who either can’t find their cutie mark or if they’re having trouble understanding themselves and their special talent goes on a walk of sorts, with only one way to protect themselves. It forces them to stay in a constant state of stress and most of the time it helps them understand who they are deep down, but it’s dangerous and not done lightly. If Violet is making Star go on one, then it means she’s scared of how far Star has fallen.”

“Fuck that, your family is already fucked up enough for my liking. I’m contacting Nightshade and we’re going to go find her,” Aura said, picking up her double ended spear, “I’ll wake Solstice and have her use her Mark II to contact Shadow. I finally found her again and I’m not going to lose her before I get a chance to tell her how I feel.”

Violet used her magic to make Aura freeze in place then in a calm voice she said, “I warded Shadow so no matter what you try, you won’t find her. Now sit down and listen. Shadow is a lot stronger than you give her credit for and trust me, I do understand how hard it is for you to not rush out and try and save her. What you need to understand is that if you interfere, Shadow will never be who she needs to be. She’s been hiding behind the mask of a stable pony, then The Courier and now this Silver Demon bullshit for too long.”

I sighed. “She’s right Aura, the only way she’s going to get better is if she finds her true self. It’s time she starts to shine like the star she is.”

Vervain muttered quietly, “Shine bright, brighter than anypony has before…”

I looked at her. “Where did you hear that?”

She looked up at me. “Grim used to say it to her a lot when we were in the bunker and the stable. What you said just reminded me of it.”

Aura looked over at us. “I’ve heard it too. What does it mean?”

Violet looked at me then at the others and said, “It’s from an old story, a story told by a mare called Moon Light, a story about a mare that would come in the future to save Equus from darkness. The story’s called, The Child of the Stars and The Fallen Mare.”

“A story…more like a prophecy…one that some believe is about Shadow!” I heard the voice of Discord say and to my amazement the small lamp turned keychain walked down the hallway on his tiny legs, “If you all get into one place, I can tell you all about it! Oh, it’ll be ever so much fun!”

My eyes went wide as I yelled, “How the fuck are you able to walk around!”

The fragmented soul jar of the Lord of Chaos just laughed and said, “Wouldn’t you like to know…”

***

Shadow…

My face slammed down into the mud as one of the feral pegasus ghouls slammed into my back, I screamed as pain ran up my back, feeling the thing bite into my flesh. I rolled, knocking the thing off me before swinging Misery around, slicing half it’s head off, ichor flying into my face. I felt my guts churn, not in disgust, but from the rush of rads that hit me from the glowing liquid that sprayed out of the undead pony. My Pip-Buck clicked wildly, letting me know once again that I’d taken a massive dose of magical radiation.

I wasn’t used to this, not even close. New Pegasus was almost rad free. On occasion I’d run into it, my pip-buck would click a few times, but I wouldn’t notice much from it. I’d never had to worry about using rad-away or anything like that before either. It was like my body naturally flushed the poison out of me. The only time I’d ever been over irradiated was when I’d walked for hours through Green Mist Valley just outside Stable 28. Even then I hadn’t noticed the effects much until I’d gotten to Cartwheel and Dr. Purpleheart told me that I had a lot in my system, and he had to flush my system out.

Back then I hadn’t felt too bad, maybe a little tired and my magic felt weak. Though back then I’d thought it was weak, so I hadn’t really noticed. Now, I felt like I hadn’t slept in a week, my legs felt like rubber, and my magic was flickering as I felt it slowly fading. I couldn’t blast magic at the ghouls anymore, teleporting was out of the question, and I could only bring up my barrier spell for a second or two before it would shatter. Oddly, I could still use Misery with little to no effort. It was like the large black sword wanted to protect me and helped me keep hold of its hilt. I knew by now that Misery wasn’t a normal weapon and even had special magic in it that almost made it feel alive at times, but this was just weird.

Another ghoul followed by two more attacked. I managed to kill two, but the third bit me before Misery came down, cutting it in half. I was breathing hard, and my body felt like it was on fire even with the heavy rain falling down in cold sheets. As I gasped for air, holding Misery in front of me I looked around and still only saw red lines all over my E.F.S. There was no way I was going to survive if I didn’t get to that damned tower. I could just make it out in the distance as lightning lit up the sky. I was close, but a horde of feral ghouls surrounded me. It was less than a kilometer away. If I didn’t feel so sick I could easily teleport to it and hopefully find safety inside, but with how I felt, I knew it wouldn’t be possible. Even if I could somehow pull off one teleportation spell, I’d most likely pass out right after, that would do me no good.

I took another step closer then ducked a pegasus ghoul, slashed at a unicorn, then kicked another pegasus before slipping on the wet ground and slamming hard into a pile of mud. I rolled over and slashed Misery at a fourth ghoul who tried to jump on me after I fell, killing it quickly. I pushed myself back up onto my hooves, feeling my legs wabble as I did so. My lungs felt like they were on fire as I struggled to take in each breath. I slashed at another ghoul who charged me, but only managed to slice a little of its side before it slammed into me. As we fell, Misery seemed to come alive in my magic, flipping around and ramming up into the creature’s brain. I just laid there gasping for each breath as the glowing ghoul laid dead next to me, my Mark II clicking slowly. I tried to push it away, but my body was done.

I wasn’t dead yet, but I would be soon, I could tell. If the ghouls didn’t come kill me, then the radiation would. I probably would’ve been dead already if it wasn’t for the fact that my lungs and heart were synthetic. I remembered Stormy telling me that my new heart and lungs could help me push through high radiation for longer than most ponies, but here I’d met my limits. Even if I had rad-away, I wouldn’t be able to move again for a while. I was so close, but not close enough. Why had Violet sent me out here? She wanted me to find myself and understand who I really was, but this was just fucking insane.

‘Note to self, never trust an Alicorn in your next life,’ I thought to myself as I laid there looking up at the stormy clouds. How was I supposed to understand my special talent and find my virtue like this? Did she think that I was powerful enough to push through a large horde of ghouls on my own? I don’t give a shit how powerful anypony is. No pony can kill thousands of ghouls by themselves.

I saw a flash of blue light, looking to my right I saw Misery laying in the mud next to me. It was glowing brightly as if the weapon was trying to tell me to get up and keep fighting. I just shook my head. “Sorry, but I’m too weak, I should just give up.”

The weapon flashed brighter, and I felt something flash into my head, almost like when Violet spoke to me through my mind, only I didn’t get any words, only impressions and ideas. The first impression was almost like the sword was trying to say something like, ‘I chose you; I will only work for a strong wielder. You are not weak.’

“Weak or not, I’m too sick to do anything now,” I said, not even caring that I was talking to a fucking sword.

It flashed again and I got more impressions. I saw flashes of memory from my past, I saw myself defending others with Misery, using the sword to kill ponies that harmed others, using the weapon to take down monsters, and ponies too. I then saw a memory of when I was in Stratus and I’d told Misery I’d help it find its twin one day. I also saw myself pushing through in the past, even if I would likely die in the end. ‘You are strong, you are powerful, you never give up.’

As I saw that I felt something deep inside myself flare to life, it wasn’t much, but it was still a spark. For a moment I felt magic flow into me from deep down, pushing a little of the sickness from the radiation away. As this happened, the words my mother used to say to me all the time came back to me, words I’d never understood, but always made me feel like I was special, “Shine bright my little star, brighter than anypony ever has before!”

More memories came to me in a flash. “You are Shadow Star and The Courier, stop hiding behind the mask of The Courier and be Shadow. There’s nothing wrong with being The Courier, but you can’t let yourself become that mask.” I barely remembered the conversation with Solstice back when we’d been arguing a couple months ago when I’d been sober for a brief moment. Back then I hadn’t wanted to even hear the word courier, it was the role I’d been pushed into by others. A role that would first make me feel like a hero then later a title that would come with way too much responsibility. I couldn’t see what her and others had been trying to say back then. I’d been using my role as The Courier to hide my true self, I was The Courier, that was true, but I was Shadow Star first. The role, the title, the responsibility, wasn’t part of The Courier, it was part of me. I chose to take that on, I chose to let others say what I had to do, I chose to try and save everypony. I was The Courier, but I was also a young filly named Shadow Star that used the courier role to give hope to others. Why did I do that? I did it because I hated seeing others suffer.

I felt more magic, and strength come back to me as I slowly got back to my hooves. I wasn’t even close to being back to my full strength, but I sure as fuck wasn’t going to die in the mud. The Courier would go down fighting or survive even if it nearly killed her. That was the mare I wanted to be when I took on that responsibility, it was the mare I’d become before I’d let others push me into a dark place. I’d started believing that what was said about me was true. I needed help to fight, I only lived as long as I did because I’d surrounded myself with stronger ponies and griffons, or because I had Aquila inside me. That was true to a point, I would be dead if I hadn’t found Stardust, Aura, Wingnut, Wind Thrasher, and more. Also, Aquila had kept me alive on more than one occasion. However, I’d also done a lot on my own, I was the reason all my friends found me and each other, I was the reason they were alive today. I also survived more things and places than most ponies could even dream of. I wasn’t weak, not then and not now. I’m a fucking badass!

“Let’s do this!” I said as I used my magic to pull Misery out of the mud. It glowed happily as more ghouls attacked. Before they could get too close, Misery blazed brightly with black and blue light and all of the ghouls hissed or growled, backing away. For a moment I was surprised, then I felt it. There was a feeling of despair and danger flowing from the large griffon sword. I moved Misery back and forth slowly seeing the ghouls shrink away in fear of the weapon, I looked at it, saying, “Why couldn’t you do that earlier?”

I got a faint impression of the Sword calling me a dipshit. No idea why, but I’d roll with it for now. I wasn’t even close to one hundred percent, and I could feel that this trick of Misery was draining what was left of my magic quickly, so I moved toward the M.A.S.E.B.S. tower as quickly as I could, using Misery to keep the rotting ponies back. I could feel my body already starting to weaken again, the uptick of power wasn’t much, but I wasn’t going to let myself die, not yet. It only took a few minutes but finally I reached the tower right as my magic started to flicker and fade.

The ghouls were staying far back now. I was starting to gasp for air again, so I let the strange magic around Misery go before turning toward the small door on the tower. In the distance I heard the ghouls starting to growl in anger as the magic faded. Using my pip-light, I looked around the door and quickly found a keypad. I moved closer to it, saying quietly, “The code to enter is the day Equestria died,” that was easy, everypony in my stable knew the date the megaspells fell. I entered the date only to get a red cross on the small screen. “You’ve gotta be shitting me!”

I entered the code again and again and the same thing happened. I knew I wasn’t wrong. I heard the horde start to move again and I cursed as I tried to think of what date Violet could mean. If the day Equestria died wasn’t when the megaspells fell, then what was it? My brain felt like mush as I did my best to think of what date Violet meant. No, what day did Minuette consider the day Equestria died? I tried the date Luna’s school was attacked, that was the moment that led Equestria to go to war. Once again, I got a red cross. I cursed again as I heard the ghouls getting closer. Then something hit me, an idea that I could see being the day that Minuette would consider the death of Equestria. It wasn’t the war, it wasn’t when the bombs fell, it wasn’t even when Celestia gave full control of the country to Luna. It was the day that Luna announced the beginning of The Ministries run by Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash. Six friends that once represented The Elements of Harmony. That was the beginning of the end for Equestria, the day that six friends would go down a path of war and destruction. The Ministries didn’t help Equestria, no, they built massive projects, secret programs, rounded up ponies and zebras, put out propaganda about the zebras, built weapons, enslaved others, and so much more. The friends grew apart and stopped working together, they were the reason Equestria lost the war, they were the reason Equestria died.

I dialed in the date of the speech Luna gave so many years ago in Canterlot and this time the light turned green, and the door opened. I pushed on it, pulling Misery with me then slammed it shut right before a glowing ghoul slammed into the door. Panting hard I dropped Misery to the ground and passed out, my body felling like it had been chewed up by a hellhound and lit on fire.

***

I awoke sometime later feeling a bit better than I had when I’d made it into the base of the M.A.S.E.B.S. tower. I was surprised to find that I was dry and warm laying on a soft bed. For a moment I thought I’d just been dreaming, then I felt some of the pain come back to me and winced. I opened my eyes and saw I was in a dimly lit room. The space was large and mostly made up of metal and wires. I moaned as I turned my head and saw on a far wall that there was a large monitor and terminal with a couple of chairs. Next me was a bedroll with some leftovers of food stuffs laying next to it. Sitting on a small nightstand next to the bed was what could only be zebra food. My eyes went wide as the aroma filled my nose making me drool. I didn’t pick it up however, I didn’t expect to find anypony, or a zebra I’m guessing, inside the tower. I wasn’t going to just up and eat their food.

“That is for you Shadow, I made it myself just an hour ago. You should eat it; it will help you recover much faster than normal,” I heard a familiar zebra’s voice say from the other side of the room.

“Y…Yaksha? Is that you?” I asked in a weak voice as I sat up slowly.

“I am glad to hear that you have not forgotten me. It has been quite a while,” Yaksha said as she walked closer, her familiar zebra cloak flowing around her with the hood pulled back.

“Why are you here?” I asked, surprised to see her, “If you’re here does that mean Striker is too?”

She sighed softly and shook her head. “Striker and I are no longer working together. Your uncle is not a good pony, which I knew for a long time, but he has gotten worse since he met you. When you left New Pegasus five months ago, leaving Aquilla to take over, he vowed to kill you for freeing her. I tried to convince him that killing you would not stop Aquilla, but he refused to listen.”

“So, now I have to worry about Striker as well as the other assholes trying to kill me,” I said as I reached out with my magic and picked up some of the food. I started to eat it slowly. As always Yaksha’s cooking was amazing, and a bit spicy, like holy shit this is HOT.

“True, you may have to deal with him, but it is possible that he will not be a problem for you. I spoke to your father Nightshade about what Striker was planning and I believe that he will try and stop his brother,” she said, coming over with a small bag of what looked like rad-away.

“Hopefully he can do something about Striker then. Honestly, I don’t like the idea of having to fight him. I don’t know him well, but from the brief time I spent with him, I picked up on the fact that he’s a tricky pony to kill,” I said.

“He does share qualities of a radroach, yes,” she said putting the rad-away on the bed next to me, “He has many ways of stopping unicorns and he is a very strong fighter. Now, you should drink this, I have given you two already while you slept, but I fear that your Radiation levels are still high. I am amazed that you survived the amount you were exposed to.”

I took the bag of orange potion and drank a little. It honestly tasted like stale orange juice with a bitter aftertaste, but I knew that it would help with whatever levels of radiation I had. When I was done, I asked, “Well, I’m glad you were here and all, but why are you here?”

“Violet told me about what you’d been going through while she was keeping an eye on you over the past few months. She is very worried about you and your mental state. I told her that I may be able to help you, but only if you were able to prove that you wanted to survive and get better. She made sure I was here for you if you made it here. If you did not survive, then I was to inform her,” she said calmly.

I felt a bit of rage at that, but did my best to tone it down as I said, “So you two decided that dropping me in the middle of a storm, miles away from safety, with only Misery and no armor was a good way to help me find my special talent and my virtue? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“No,” Yaksha said, still calm, “The point behind what you just went through was to make sure you have not given up on life and to see if you wanted to get better. You would have died if Violet and I did not do something drastic like this. You have been borderline suicidal for months. You have been acting like a stupid foal and it is time that you stopped, but the only way to fix you is for you to want to be fixed.”

I sank back into the bed looking up at the darkness above, then said quietly, “Do you want to know why I decided to embrace being The Silver Demon?”

“It does not matter if you tell me why you did, it matters that you understand the reason yourself. I am not here to tell you what you need to know or find, I am only a guide,” she said.

I looked over at her, letting tears flow as I said quietly, “Being The Silver Demon was the only way I found while I was away to quiet the hurt at leaving Aura,” I let my eyes glaze over as I started telling Yaksha the real reason I’d let myself become a monster.

“The first night after I left New Pegasus, I knew that I may have misunderstood Aura when she was talking to Arys. I also understood that her lies about Trip Wire were understandable. I hadn’t known Aura very long when she told me about Trip and how she died. I know that if she told me what really happened back then, I would’ve been scared she’d do the same to me. I’d most likely have kicked her out of my party and cut ties with her just to keep my friends and I safe. I knew that I was an idiot for leaving and that night I almost went back,” tears started to fall faster as I remembered those first few nights away from everypony.

“If that is true, then why didn’t you go back and talk with your friends and Aura?” Yaksha asked.

I focused on her again. “Because no matter how hard I tried to tell myself that I was being a fool, my anger kept getting worse. Every time I thought about the lies and the hurt of what I did hear from her, I got angrier. I didn’t notice at first, but ever since Aquilla was pulled out of me, a darkness deep inside started to make itself known. I got angry faster than before, my emotions started to spiral, I started not caring about those I killed. At first, I thought I was just angry about my mom dying. That wasn’t the whole problem though. Even when I left New Pegasus, I still didn’t fully understand what was wrong with me, but a week after I left, Uncle Ori figured part of it out. With Aquilla out of my body, her overpowering light magic no longer pushed back the dark magic I naturally have. I lived for ten years with her inside me, pushing back a vast amount of darkness inside my soul, a darkness that kept growing the longer I lived. I have no idea how to balance out the power it has because I never grew up with it like my uncle. Uncle Ori said that before I got sick, he detected that I had a balance of light and dark magic inside me and that was most likely why I was so powerful even as a foal. When his shadow magic hit me as a foal it fed off the dark magic inside me causing an imbalance in my system. When Aquilla became part of me, she brought back the balance and my body got used to her magic being there. As time went on, her light magic forced more and more of my dark side to fade. He’s been teaching me to control my dark half and also bring more of my own light magic forth so I can find my balance again. I had to stay away from everypony because, if I didn’t, I would’ve killed somepony I cared for just because I was angry.”

“An imbalance of two magics I can understand, but what I do not understand is why you fed your darkness by killing so many ponies and zebras by being a bounty hunter and what this has to do with Aura,” Yaksha said.

I sighed and did my best to hold back the flood of emotions I’d been suppressing for months. “I told myself that I didn’t love Aura anymore. I had to, because that love wanted to force me to go home where I was afraid that I’d hurt her or kill her if I let my rage take me. I needed to feed my anger and the darkness while I learned to control it, the best way to do that was to hunt down ponies and zebras that needed to die. My first day in Armadillo I heard about a gang calling themselves, The Demons, and decided to just kill them, not to help Armadillo or anything, but just because I wanted to kill something that day. It just so happened that what I did, got me the name Silver Demon. I also discovered that day that killing helped me control my darkness, so I kept on killing.”

“Feeding a beast may calm it, but it will never tame it,” Yaksha said.

“I know,” I said softly, “But I didn’t care at the time. I also kept dreaming of Aura and how much I missed her. So, I started drinking, because that was the only thing that helped push the memories away. When that didn’t work, I fucked around, when that didn’t help I hunted. As time went on, I couldn’t stop thinking of Aura…not until I was given my first drink of Unicorns Bliss. That was the only thing that made everything easier. I had no idea what it was really doing to me until Violet told me.”

“You are lucky that you have not been drinking that for very long. The food I made for you should help the addiction to it. Now tell me Shadow, why are you here?” Yaksha asked.

“To figure out who I am I guess,” I responded as I ate more of the delicious zebra food.

She waited for me to finish, before saying, “Good, then let me see if I can guide you into finding what you need to find. I am sure that you remember how to meditate the way I showed you.”

I nodded. “Yeah, I mean I haven’t done it in a while, but I remember.”

She smiled, saying, “Good, then I want you to do so and once you have let your mind relax, I want you to remember the day you got your cutie mark. Think about what you did before you noticed it, then match those memories up with other parts of your life and see what similarities you can find in your past.”

I winced as I moved off the bed then sat on the floor, using the pose Yaksha had taught me so many months ago. I slowed my breathing and let my body relax, ignoring the lingering pain from my fight and calming my wandering mind. Then Yaksha started to speak slowly, “Find your center, follow the memories, look for the path that connects that day when you were young. If you find the connection, you will find your special talent and maybe even your virtue.”

I did as she said, which wasn’t easy at first. I learned control over my darkness over the past few months, but it wasn’t perfect. I had to let my anger go, I had to forget the pain of betrayal and pain. I needed to find a calm I haven’t felt since I was a filly. Finally, I felt my mind calm, and I went back to the day I escaped the Overmare’s office. I watched my own memory as best I could, but it was fuzzy. I remembered the day, but not as well as I’d like. I felt frustration trying to make its way through my calm mind, but I pushed it away. I needed help and thankfully, Oricalcos had helped me learn more spells, one of which was one that was normally used to pull memories from ponies and put them into a memory orb. That however wasn’t the full power of the spell. A unicorn could also use it on themselves to help them fully remember something from their past. I slowly pulled on my magic and cast the spell focusing on the day I’d gotten my cutie mark.

This time, everything came clearly to me. I watched myself sneak into Wildfire’s office. I relived my talk with Balefire and watched as if I was another pony viewing an orb. I let the spell keep going until I’d gotten out of her office and my cutie mark was on my flanks. I stopped the spell there and thought about what happened and understood a little, but not everything. My cutie mark was strange, not so much the eight-pointed star, I understand that part of my special talent. It represented part of my talent, I was a very powerful Unicorn, one that was supposed to have balance between light and dark. If my life had been normal, I would’ve gone far in The Enclave. I would’ve been one of their most valued unicorns and probably even have worked with ponies like Stormy or my mom. That however wasn’t all of who I was. I grew up not knowing my power, it had been suppressed for so long that I didn’t know how powerful I was until I got into The Wasteland. No, the hard part about my cutie mark was the two crossed gold skeleton keys. A skeleton key represented unlocking any door, but that couldn’t be because of my lockpicking. I was good at that, but I knew I wasn’t the best and honestly, I didn’t do it all the time, only when it was needed.

I knew that the keys had to represent something in my nature that had to do with unlocking something. So, I went back and watched the memory again, staying in my meditation while I did. I had a feeling that Balefire had something to do with my special talent. Balefire before that night had been kind of a jerk, he was the overmare’s son and liked to throw his power around acting like he was next in line to run the stable, even though he couldn’t because only a mare could run Stable 28. After that night, something changed in him. It wasn’t right away, but after that night, he started being nicer to some ponies, he even came to hang out with Milkshake and me. It took a few weeks but the longer he was around me and with me calling out his bullshit now and then when he’d go back to his old ways of acting, he slowly became a much better stallion.

“He became a better stallion,” I said slowly.

“What was that?” I heard Yaksha say.

I ignored her because something clicked in my mind, and I could almost see a blue string of magic flow away from that memory and toward another. I followed the string to another pony in my memories, Stardust. I saw a few flashes of him. When I first met him, he was arrogant and kind of full of himself. He liked to help ponies when he could, but he was a drifter, trying to keep ahead of ponies hunting him. At first, I hadn’t liked him, but after a bit, I saw something in him, he had a bright light of good in him that he was trying to hide so he could keep ponies away. He was a good pony, but he acted like he didn’t care. The longer we traveled together, the more he became the stallion he was now. One that would always be there for his friends and risk his own life to save innocent ponies.

I was starting to understand as another friend came to mind, Aura, she’d been mistrusting and cold to almost everyone she met. The day I met her she was trying to take me in for a bounty so she could use the bounty to get back into her talon company. She was trying to hide her feelings for mares and her true self just so she could be normal. I didn’t know that back then, but when I met her, I saw sadness in her eyes and a need to be understood, even if I didn’t understand that at the time. So, I saved her and later took her on as my bodyguard. The longer she was around me, the more I pulled her out of her shell until she finally let herself be her own griffon. She told the world she was a griffon who was in love with a pony and didn’t care who knew anymore. Because of this, she now used her talon company not only to take contracts like most griffons do, but to also protect others even if she never got a cap for it.

I then saw others, like Greed who went from being a selfish member of the Seven Sins of Equinity, to a pony who was starting to help others. I brought out the good in him even if he was still a greedy buck, he used his greed in his own way to help instead of hurt. It was the same for Sloth, who refused to keep killing for The Enclave. More and more I saw ponies I met since I left my stable who were now doing something to help. My heart started to race as I realized that over the past few months and even before I entered Stable 28 as a foal, I had a major impact on a lot of ponies and zebras. Mom always said that I saw the good in others when I was younger. When I became The Courier, that ability grew stronger because I became a symbol of hope and a beacon for those who wanted to fix the wasteland and make it better. Yeah I fucked up a lot too and caused a lot of pain and suffering, but I’d also changed the lives of a lot of ponies. What I started to understand amazed me. It wasn’t like I was magically making ponies better, sometimes I made things worse too. I did however see what I’d been missing for so long now, the two things about me that made me special in the wasteland, my magic which was still growing but also an ability to see the good in others and unlock that seed of light within them. The thing was that just like the skeleton key, I can unlock other parts of ponies too, not always for good. I can see the good and maybe change their path toward being better, but I could also push those with evil in their hearts further down a dark path.

Wolfsbane was a good example of this, I mistrusted him from the start because of what others told me about him. When I first met him, he’d been nice to me and even if he’d been using me to help his own goals, I still saw a glint of a buck who wanted to make the lives of ponykind better, even if he was going about it the wrong way. I didn’t want to trust him however, and because of that, I never even tried to understand him, so now he was going down an even darker path that he was already on. The same goes for a few others in the past and the worst one of all was Aquilla.

I hadn’t trusted her since the first time she took me over. If I’d taken the time to get to know her better and maybe given her the ability to show me who she was deep down, under the anger and pain of what she’d delt with for two hundred years, maybe she wouldn’t be doing what she was now. I’d seen her memories; I knew that when she was young. She’d been pulled away from her home and even when she’d been trapped in a lab, she still was a sweet innocent creature who loved one mare almost like a mother. She made a connection with Minuette and saw her as the only pony on Equus who she could trust; the pony who would help her realize her role on our world. Then Minuette went insane and left Aquilla to die. She was left in her lab with little understanding of her own power to feel every single bit of pain and suffering on Equus. When she ended up with me, I had made her a promise to give her a body and just like my distant grandmother, I went back on our deal. She went crazy over the years and split herself in two, burying her good side deep so she could survive the pain she felt every day.

It was then that I realized that I was just like her. I became a monster to hide from my own pain and suffering. I used killing to feed a part of myself that was easier than facing what I had to do, because there was one thing we both had deep inside us that we tried hard to ignore. We gave our love and hope easily and when that love was ripped away from us or betrayed, we felt it deeply. At that moment I realized another thing about myself, something that may be my virtue even if I tried to hide it even from myself, just like Aquilla. My virtue was love, because love can be the most powerful and the most painful thing in the universe.

I felt more tears start to fall as I came to this realization. My special talent was my magic and the ability to see and unlock the good or evil in others and if I was right about myself, my virtue was love. The understanding was huge for me at the time because it also made me realize why I’d stepped into the role of The Courier that DJ Pon3 gave me. I wanted to help ponies so they could live and love, I wanted the wasteland to be a good place even if I had to suffer to help. Not because I was forced to help, but because everyone deserved to be loved and happy.

As I realized this I felt something inside me shift and for the first time in over five months, the dark magic that had been pushing against my mind and emotions slowly pulled back. My light magic flared and joined with my darker side and a balance was there once again. My horn exploded with bright red light as I opened my eyes, and a smile came to my face as I looked over at a squinting Yaksha. “I know who I am!”

She closed her eyes, saying, “Then tell me who you are, also please tone down the magic, it is quite blinding.”

I laughed. “I am Shadow Star, I am also The Courier. I am the mare who was born to bring light and darkness into balance and to help the wasteland be a better place for everyone.”

I let my magic fade as Yaksha smiled and hugged me. “Good, now I think it is time for you to go back to the ones you love and start building a better world.”

Smiling like I haven’t in a long time, I asked, “Are you coming with me?”

“I will in time young one, but I have my own mission to deal with once you head back with Violet. I have a feeling that I will see you soon though, when you go back to The Kingdom I will be there,” she said as she pulled out a long-range broadcaster, “Violet, it is time, come get The Courier.”

There was no response, but a moment later Violet teleported to us. She looked me over, her face neutral like those plastic statues they put clothes on in stores. After a moment, her horn started to glow along with the Alicorn Amulet around her neck. Deep inside me I felt my magic pulse, reacting to whatever Violet was doing. For a moment I was worried she was going to attack me, then my magic calmed, and I knew that Violet’s spell meant me no harm. The alicorn scanned me with her magic, then after a moment her magic faded, and she smiled. “I think this is the first time since we met, that your mind is calm and at peace.”

“I…feel different, as if something inside me changed, but at the same time, I’m still the same. Just a better version of myself,” I responded.

She smiled. “In my old life, I was a lot like you. I didn’t understand who I was deep down, and because of that I followed a dangerous path. This led me to follow Night Stalker and help him build the Children of the Night into something deadly. It wasn’t until Amethyst helped me understand myself that I saw the terrible things I helped create. I was trying to fix it; I was slowly working to get Night Stalker and the rest of my friends to understand what we created needed to be stopped. I was making progress and I think if I only had a little more time they would’ve listened to me. Sadly, we were betrayed by one of our own and I lost Amethyst and my mind broke. I wanted to make sure you didn’t suffer the same fate as I did, that’s why I forced you to do this. Your mind needed to be settled and your magic balanced to face what you’ll have to do soon.”

I looked up at her. “I’m gonna have to rejoin with Aquilla aren’t I?”

She lifted an eyebrow. “You figured that out already? I’m surprised.”

“I’ve known for a while I think maybe even before I separated from her that the two of us needed to be together, but back then I was too scared of her to let her stay in my head. I understand now that she isn’t evil, even if she does evil things. I’ve done evil things myself lately. Aquila suffered for many years trapped in the lab you locked her in. She doesn’t need to be killed or stopped; she needs help to fix her damaged mind,” I said.

Violet nodded. “Aquila’s mind has split into two parts. I think she did this to herself many years ago, maybe when her body was forced to solidify into a crystal to survive longer. She let a part of her take in all the pain she was feeling from the world while sheltering her good half where she could hide from it. The odd thing is that now she’s in a body of her own. I think her two halves are starting to merge again. I’ve been watching her, and the longer she’s in that body of hers, the more I’m seeing sadness and confusion showing. Either way, when you face her, I don’t think you’ll be able to count on her goodness helping you. You’re going to have to find a way to make her see that working together is the only way to stop Falling Shadows and save Equus.”

I sighed. “I know. I don’t know what to do now, but I’ll think of something. First I have to deal with a few other things before I confront Aquila.”

“What can be more important than stopping Aquila?” Yaksha asked.

I looked at her and smiled. “First, I need to go see the griffon I love and hope she’ll forgive me for being an idiot. Then, I’ll need to go to The Crystal Empire and unlock Tower 3. After that, I’ll need to find Greed and get the item I had him hold on to for me. I need to unlock Falling Shadows before I let Aquila back into my head.”

“You’ll need to do more than that,” Violet said, “You need to stop Hacker, Wolfsbane, Apollo, and Thunderlane. They’re all working toward the same goal, to awaken their master.”

“Wait…they all are followers of Mezzanotte?” I asked.

Violet shrugged. “I’m not sure if all of them are. I can’t find Thunderlane and knowing him, he’s probably just using Falling Shadows to try and find a way to make himself stronger. As for Apollo, I know that he’s been working with Hacker for three decades so he’s a follower just like her. Wolfsbane, I’m not sure, but he’s been helping his wife with her own goals for many years now.”

I groaned before finally getting to my hooves. “Well, it’s a good thing I have friends to help me. I think the best thing to do after I’m finished with The Crystal Empire is to see about getting New Pegasus back on my side and doing away with this cult I heard about. I’ll deal with that after I’m done with fixing my relationships with my friends.”

She smiled. “From now on, I will follow your lead granddaughter.”

“Hey now, don’t start throwing that word around or I’m going to start calling you Min. I know how much you hate that. Stardust had to learn the reason why the hard way,” I said with a laugh.

Violet didn’t smile or laugh however, she looked confused. “How do you know that?”

I lifted an eyebrow. “Know what?”

“How did you know that I had to tell Stardust that I didn’t like being called Min? You weren’t there when that happened, and I know for a fact that you didn’t have time to talk to anypony when you woke up from you near death,” she said.

I thought about it for a minute, then frowned as a slight memory hit me. For a moment it felt like I’d lived the experience, but in the memory I wasn’t myself, but Aura. I looked back at Violet, “I’m…not sure, I just remember it…only…not as myself.”

“That magic you held back was made up of time and space magic. I wonder if it affected you in some way, showing you things that were happening in other places and times. I’ll have to investigate this more when we get a chance,” she said thoughtfully.

“Wait a sec, are you saying that I have other pony’s memories jammed in my head?” I asked.

“I have no idea, but it’s a possibility. For now, you seem fine, but if you start feeling more memories hit you that aren’t your own, let me know right away,” she said.

“Well, this is fucking great,” I groaned, “I have other ponies brains jammed into my head. I’m brain soup!”

“It’s not as bad as you think,” she said, smiling like she used to when she was still a normal pony, “Trust me, I’ve lived through that kind of thing for years and I’m mostly sane.”

“Yeah, that helps me feel so much better,” I responded sarcastically.

She ignored me looking over at Yaksha. “I will stop by in a few days to get you to The Kingdom, thank you again for helping me with this.”

Yaksha smiled. “I do not mind helping when it comes to Shadow. As for help with The Kingdom, I will be okay on my own. I will head there soon; I will not need help.”

“As long as you’re sure,” Violet said, then she looked at me, “Are you ready to head back?”

I took a moment before I nodded. “I can’t put this off any longer,” I then looked at Yaksha, saying, “Be safe and thank you again.”

“Take care young one,” she said before I was enveloped in Violet’s magic and was teleported back to my friends and family.

***

I found myself in a room by myself moments after we’d arrived back at the bunker under Tower 2. Violet said she was heading to see Vervain before going out to soak up a massive amount of radiation so she could power a spell to get us back to New Pegasus quickly. I was nervous because I knew, any moment now, Aura was coming, and I’d have to ask her to forgive me for everything I’ve done. I was also going to have to tell her about Solstice and me. I just hoped that she didn’t attack my friend…or me. I was trying to ready myself for the upcoming conversation when I jumped from a light knock at the door to my room.

Aura’s voice said quietly, “Can I come in?”

“Yeah…sure,” I said, my voice cracking a little.

She opened the door before stepping in and closing it behind her. For a few moments we both just looked at each other, taking in the changes the last few months had done to us. I knew that my mane had grown longer, my body had a few more scars and I still looked a little unhealthy from how I’ve been living for the past five months. I took in Aura and saw the long scar over her face and the missing digit on her left talon, and most notably the double ended green and red energy spear.

A small smile came to Aura’s face, before she said quietly, “You look like crap.”

“I’m not the only one,” I said.

She nodded then ran a talon over her scar, “Touché, gift from Gina when we took back Crimson Canyon,” I saw a small tear fall from her eye as she continued, “I mortally wounded her before I found out that she’d been on our side since the beginning. She even sent my cousin out here to help you and keep you safe while you were away.”

My eyes went wide. “Wait, are you talking about Gaston? He’s related to you?”

“I heard a lot about him from Vervain and Solstice over the past few hours. He sounds a lot like Gina when she was younger, and yeah, I only found out a few weeks ago that he existed, but I can tell you more about that later. Do you mind if I sit?” she asked indicating the bed next to me.

“Sure…” I said, watching as she moved to the bed, “Why are you acting so calm? I thought by now you’d be yelling at me for leaving.”

She sighed as she sat down. “I don’t need to yell at you, there’s no reason to. You did something stupid by coming out here like you did, but at the same time I understand why you did it. It’s me who should be getting yelled at, I was the one who’s been lying to you for so long about what really happened with Trip Wire, though I am a little pissed that you never let me explain what I meant when I was talking to Arys.”

I moved closer and sat on the bed next to her. “First you don’t have to apologize for not telling me the truth about Trip. Yeah, I was pissed at first but when I had time to think about it, I realize that if you’d have told me the truth back then, I would’ve told you to leave, or I wouldn’t have trusted you. If it wasn’t for that lie, I never would’ve fallen in love with you, and I’d probably be dead by now. It sucks that you had to lie, but in the long run it was a good thing.”

“It also led to you leaving which was very hard on me and the rest of us,” she said sadly.

“I know, but the thing you don’t understand is that I was in a bad place when all that happened. Fuck, I was still in that bad place even a few weeks ago. When Aquila was pulled out of me, an imbalance happened with my light and dark magic and my emotions were going crazy the longer we were apart. If I would’ve stayed, I would’ve ended up killing one or more of you. Hell, I almost killed Solstice a few times while we were in Armadillo,” I said, looking down at my hooves.

“Are you…doing better now?” she asked.

“A little,” I said with a sigh, “My mind is in a better place thanks to Violet, and I understand more about myself now. For now, I should be okay and only time will tell if I’ll get back to my old self.

“I’m sorry for what you overheard,” Aura said, pulling the band with her black and red feather on it out of a pocket and looking at it in her talons, “I was trying to say back then that I was scared of us making the life bond, not because you weren’t good enough for me, but because I was scared that I wasn’t good enough for you. I know that you’re young and impulsive, but I love you anyway. I know now that you’re my soulmate and that no matter what, I’ll never be able to be with another until the day I die. I think what scared me the most is that the longer we’ve been together and after how many times I’ve watched you almost die or disappear from my life, I felt like no matter what happened we’d always find each other again, in this life or the next. A soul bond like that is something you only hear about in stories and that scared me.”

I looked up at her and saw tears in her eyes. So, I reached a hoof out and placed it on her talon. “The entire time I was out here…” I stopped and took in a deep breath, “and even with how many I slept with, it never felt right…I felt empty and the only thing I could think about was you. I was so angry, sad, and lonely that I did everything I could to ignore the feelings I have for you Aura. I drank, I killed, I fucked, and more and none of it worked.”

A small smile came to her face as she said, “Usually doesn’t, but even when you were with Solstice?”

My eyes went wide. “How’d you know about that?”

She shrugged. “She told me not long after Violet took you. I’ll admit I was a little pissed, but then again, it’s not like we were together so I can’t really be mad. Plus, I’ve seen her too; she’s hot. The question is, do you feel anything for her or the others you messed around with?”

I shook my head. “No, I mean Solstice has become one of my best friends, but that’s as far as my feelings go. We talked about it a couple weeks ago. She’s not really into mares normally anyway so I was more of a distraction for her just like she was for me.”

Aura got back to her talons. “Well, you both gave it the old college try, but I still love you Shadow, and I will for the rest of my days,” she looked back at me and to my surprise she sat in front of me and bowed her head holding out the band that represented a griffon wanting to make a life bond, “The question I have for you is this. Are you willing to take this token of my love, made from my own feather, bound by my talons, and agree to bond this mortal life of mine with yours? Will you, Shadow Star, daughter of Nightshade and Grimoire Spell make the life bond with me when we get back to Crimson Canyon and tie our two families together?”

Tears started to follow as I looked at the token of Aura’s love. She still loved me, and she wanted me to bond with her. I knew how much this meant to a griffon and what she was saying by offering me this band. I’d talked with Gaston a lot about what it meant and how griffons normally did this. I knew that both parties would exchange a band that was made with a piece of themselves to signify the bond, but that was later during a ceremony. The only thing that was required for the griffon’s version of an engagement was for one side to accept the others token.

I reached a hoof out and took the band, I then slid it up my left foreleg saying in a shaky voice, “I Shadow Star accept your token Aura Bloodtalon, daughter of Gillian Bloodtalon. I will make the life bond with you when we get back to Crimson Canyon and join our two families into one.”

She laughed a little and looked up at me. “I didn’t know you knew the words to say back.”

I laughed too, feeling the joy at having Aura back fill me. “I learned a few things from that big idiot Gaston. I wasn’t always drunk you know.”

She reached up and pulled me close, kissing me deeply. She pulled away for only a moment to let her icy blue eyes meet my red ones before saying, “I love you Shadow.”

“I love you too Aura,” I responded before using my magic to pull her on top of me, kissing her deeply. She squeaked for a moment as I pulled her forward, but she sank into me as our kiss grew deeper. I flipped her onto her back on the bed, being careful not to fuck up her wings. I moved a hoof down her body, still kissing her as I let her know how much I’d missed her.

The two of us didn’t let up for hours…

***

Three days later…

“I still can’t believe so much happened while I was away,” I said to Aura as she finished telling me about her time in New Pegasus.

“I wanna know where you got that kick ass spear,” Solstice said.

Aura looked down at it and frowned. “Guess I forgot to bring that up. Well, after my spear got destroyed, I needed a new weapon. I learned that the red spear Gina had been using was made by Trip’s brother using her designs. He thought it was the finished version and better than my spear. He was right in a way, but funny enough when Shadow left, she left a few things behind one of which was schematics she must’ve found in Hoofington at the old camp where I’d buried Trip. Byte and Wingnut found them and used them to merge my old spear and the red one together and also made them both better.”

“I’ll admit it’s a cool looking weapon, but Misery is still better,” I said pulling out the sword which glowed brightly for a second seeming to agree with me.

Aura laughed. “Well, I’ll agree with that, but Misery likes you more than me, so I’ll stick with my double ended spear for now.”

“Who knows, maybe Joy will like you better when we find it,” I said.

Oricalcos laughed. “It’s amazing as it is that you found Misery. Shadow and I will admit that it does seem to have a strange magic that makes it almost feel alive, but that doesn’t mean you’ll find Joy. You can’t be that lucky.”

“I agree, I don’t see us finding both of Greta’s blades,” Aura said.

I smiled. “Oh, I’m sure we’ll find it. Misery knows where it’s twin is at all times. With a little travel, and maybe a little luck, I just have to follow Misery to Joy.”

“Shadow’s right, that sword has a tracking spell on it, I can tell,” Rawr said from a chair he was sitting in.

“I agree with the big guy,” Discord said, his small form sitting on an armrest, “I can feel the connection from here.”

I still wasn’t used to the tiny lamp Discord being able to move around, but I was getting there. Sitting next to him was Harmony who the small creature had taken a liking to recently. She looked between Aura and I asking, “What’s a Joy?”

“It’s a white version of Misery,” Aura said, “Minuette made it back during the war for my distant grandmother.”

I was going to say something when Violet walked in. Her already tall body was now twice it’s normal size and she oozed power. She looked at us all then said, “I didn’t make them FOR Greta, I made them for Night Stalker to give to her as a gift. Now are all of you ready to head back to New Pegasus?”

We all nodded, then I looked at Harmony. “Are you sure you want to come with us? It’ll be dangerous in New Pegasus and Rawr did offer to let you stay here. You’d be safe and you could read as much as you want.”

She smiled and nodded. “I’ll be fine Shadow. I’d rather stay with you and see more of the world. Sure, staying here would be safe, but I spent the past few years of my life trapped in a compound. My father would’ve wanted me to explore and see the world. Plus, I want to meet your other friends.”

“If she’s going, I’m going too,” Discord said, jumping to his small feet.

“What is it with you and following her around like you do?” Solstice asked, “It’s getting a little weird and creepy.”

“I am weird! But not creepy!” he said in mock offence, “I just happen to find her interesting and she treats me like a normal being and not just a broken piece of a soul stuck in a lamp like the rest of you.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m fine with him coming, he’s kinda fun sometimes.”

“You WOULD say that,” Vervain said with a laugh, then she looked over at Aura, “What’re your plans when we get back to Crimson Canyon?”

Aura looked at me with a smile which I returned before she said, “We have a celebration to set up. No matter what’s going on when we get back to New Pegasus, my first priority is to bind my life with Shadow’s. We can figure out the rest after that.”

Vervain was overjoyed when she heard the news a couple days ago, Oricalcos not so much, but he was getting over it. He thought I was too young to be getting married, even if the life bond was different. Vervain looked at us both, then said to Aura, “Okay, but when we get there, I want to go over some things with you beforehoof Aura.”

“Okay, just as long as Ori and you don’t try and stop us. I’ve already told you that no matter what, the two of us are bonding. We don’t want to wait longer, not with everything going on,” Aura said.

Oricalcos sighed. “We know, but as her family we want to add a few things to this Life Bond thing, same for Nightshade I’m sure. I do hope you talked with him about this before you asked Shadow to bond.”

“We talked about it weeks ago, but I’ll still talk with him too before everything starts,” Aura said with a laugh.

Violet sighed. “You all do realize that the longer you sit and talk, the more radiation I’m leaking into this room right? I need to use it soon so I can get us all back.”

“She’s right, I think it’s way past time to head home,” I said.

“I will miss you little pony,” Rawr said, “When this is all over, I will bring my pack to New Pegasus to see you. Once this place is no longer needing protection there will be no reason for us to stay.”

I went over to the huge death dog and hugged him. “I’ll miss you too Rawr, stay safe, and I look forward to our next meeting.”

He smiled before moving to head out of his den. As he left Violet had everypony get close to her as her horn started to glow. As she powered up her spell, Aura reached into her satchel and pulled out my former barding and duster, “Wingnut fixed it up again for you. If you’re ready to go home, I think it’s time that you embrace who you are. I also have this for you, it’s a sign that you’re also a member of The Shadow Talons.”

She gave me a red bandana with the symbol of The Shadow Talons on it. I marveled at my fixed and upgraded barding and duster. Like before the duster had the E.E. for Equestrian Express on the left shoulder and my cutie mark on the right, but on the back where Equestrian Express used to be stitched it now read ‘Courier of the Marejave’ I smiled and took off my old combat armor and replaced it with my barding and duster. I followed that up by bringing the red bandana up and tying it around my neck, displaying the symbol of The Shadow Talons just over my chest. For the first time in a while, I felt like I was whole. I sheathed Misery on my back and holstered Dream Walker.

I turned back toward my friends and family and smiled, moving closer to Violet, “Let’s go home.”

In a flash of blue light, I left the Badlands behind, leaving behind the anger, pain, and The Silver Demon. The Courier was going home, and I was getting ready to show the wasteland who I really was…

***

Greed Aka Thundercracker…

I flew high in the sky, higher than most pegasi would dare to, but I’ve gotten used to the flight over the past few months as I did my job for Nightshade. He forced me to do something I thought I never would do willingly; I was working for the government by my own will. That old buck had a way of getting others to like him, so I’m not too surprised that he was able to twist me into working with him. This mission was much like the last few had been. Go up to Cirrus, the hidden base that most pegasi thought was a legend. The cloud fortress was located far north of Los Alicorn, close to San Flankcisco or what was left of the city. It was the base Thunderlane had taken over a long time ago.

Like always, I stayed clear of the base until nightfall before sneaking closer, keeping an eye on what the old ghoul was up to. Unfortunately, I couldn’t break into the place. I’m a great thief, but even with my talents, I wouldn’t be able to break into it easily. Like before, I took out a recording device and set it up on a cloud to watch the base before moving on toward the top end of an M.A.S.E.B.S. tower near Cirrus. I checked the bugs I’d planted to pick up any communications in and out of the base then started taking notes of the movements of the guards around the place.

It was just another night spying on the old fortress like always. Boring yes, but it did help Nightshade and the new place he was setting up for the former Enclave. As I watched the guards I patted the hidden pocket on my armor, feeling the glowing diamond Shadow had given to me so long ago to keep safe from that freak Aquila. It was still there and safe, but the longer I held onto it, the more I wanted to get rid of it. Normally I loved having shiny things for myself, but this thing gave me the creeps and the sooner I could give it back the better.

I was getting ready to do another round before heading back, when for the first time something changed. A rebuilt palisade flew up through the clouds, the Steel Ranger emblem on its side. At first, I thought that Wolfsbane was going to attack Cirrus, which would make Nightshade’s life easier, but it didn’t. It moved to a landing platform toward the top of the base.

“I need to tell Nightshade and Aura about this,” I said to myself. I was about to fly to get the recorder when something happened near the top of the Palisade. I saw a unicorn step out and look right over at me.

I frowned when I saw her, then jumped when a moment later she was in front of me. She had large black wings that looked as if they were made out of shadows and her body was covered in the same thing, only showing her eyes which glowed with power. When she spoke, I felt fear flow through me. “My master does not like spies. Who do you work for? If you tell me quick, your death will be painless.”

“Yeah, fuck you, and fuck whoever you serve,” I said before activating my ultimate shield and flying away.

With a quick flap of her shadow wings, she flew after me, saying, “A former Sin I see, good to know.”

I felt a spell slam into me almost breaking through my shield, I cursed and dove for the ground, the bitch hot on my tail. “You know, I normally like when a mare chases after me, but you’re a little too…creepy for my taste.”

She flew next to me, firing another spell of darkness at me, this time I felt it go through my shield, burning my flesh. I cursed again and tried to avoid her next attack by rolling in the air, then changed direction, and dove again. She laughed as she followed. “You must be Greed; I remember hearing about you from the traitor. It looks like you’re a little weak against my kind of magic. I wonder how long that Shield of yours can hold up before I put a hole through you.”

I growled and knew there was only one way I was getting out of this. I pulled an item I’d stolen years ago out. It was a single use item, and I honestly wasn’t even sure it would work, but I needed to get back to Nightshade. I looked over at the flying unicorn and said with a grin even if she couldn’t see it behind my mask. “Nice dancing with you, but I’m more of a lover than a fighter, so I gotta run,” before she could say anything else, I dropped a flash grenade then dove a different direction right when it went off, smiling as I heard her curse. I then put a green gem close to my muzzle and said quietly, “Stratus” then activated the gem.

Light enveloped me and a moment later I felt pain as the spell teleported me far away from the scary unicorn. The gem was a teleportation gem I’d stolen the same day I’d gotten my ultimate shield. It would only work once, and it was painful to use from what I’ve been told. Looks like that was correct. I arrived in Stratus a moment later just outside Nightshade’s office. My body hurt and I could feel blood dripping down my side.

Nightshade’s assistant screamed when I appeared, and I gave her a smile. “Hey doll, mind telling the big guy that Greed’s here to see him. Tell him I got some shitty news,” and with a bloody smile still on my muzzle, I passed out…

[FOOTNOTE: LEVEL UP!]

NEW PERK ADDED!

Synchronicity: You’ve done it! You’ve achieved balance within your soul and your heart. Experiencing and being able to see the reason in both sides between light and dark, you now have an easier time convincing or coercing others of high standing among factions while in dialogue.