Stone Vault

by Modern Sisyphus

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Human, Drama, Comedy
Length: 15735

After a run in with Truck-sama, Walter Stoneman finds himself in the land of candy colored equines.

Following a traffic accident, a human named Walter Stoneman is catapulted to the land of Equestria. Now, Walter 'Vault' Stoneman has to adapt to his new life, with little to no chance of ever getting home. However, Vault didn't leave everything behind on Earth. His secrets and personal demons still haunt him, even in a world almost literally made of sunshine and rainbows.

(My personal contribution to the Human in Equestria genre, so shoot me. Feed back is always appreciated.)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2017-02-10 01:31:48 UTC

An Unfortunate Encounter

Twilight Sparkle and her friends were galloping frantically toward the edge of the Everfree Forest. The Cutie Mark Crusaders had apparently been playing near the edge of the woods when they heard something screaming deeper inside. Sweetie Belle said it sounded like a stallion in pain, but deeper, louder. Knowing what kind of dangers lurk in the those woods, the three fillies quickly went to go find their older sisters.

"What d' think it is Twilight?" Applejack called as she prepared her hog-tying rope.

"If it's somepony hurt, he have to help as soon as possible. Other than that, we don't have a whole lot to go on." she called back, "So everypony be careful, we don't know if it's a trap or not!"

"Puleeese Twilight, like anything out there can take all six of us on!" Rainbow shouted back, making punching motions in the air.

"I hope we're not too late..." Fluttershy murmured from the rear. As the girls broke through the outer layer of the woods, they heard a loud, guttural roar filled with pain and rage.

"That didn't sound like no stallion Ah've ever heard..." Applejack said, her voice tinged with apprehension. Running in the direction of the noise, the Elements of Harmony came to a small clearing.

"Oh... my" Fluttershy squeaked, on the verge of tears. In the clearing sat the dismembered bodies of no less that six timber wolves. They were hard to pick out amongst the various twigs and dead falls littering the area, but the smashed skulls gave them away.

"Stay close girls, whatever did this can't be too far away." Twilight commanded, apprehensive. As they slowly scanned the clearing for clues, Rarity stepped in something wet. Cringing, she lifted her hoof to see what sort of foul  muck dared to ruin her hooficure.

Blood.

It was blood.

Rarity let out an ear piercing shriek, startling everypony else.

"Gross gross gross!" She cried out, wiping her hoof frantically on the grass. Her micro panic attack having passed, she turned to address her stunned friends. "We have to hurry, somepony is seriously hurt out here!"

"Girrrrrls..." Pinkie Pie called from the other side of an old log, "I think I found it..." her voice uncharacteristically soft. Bounding over to her, Twilight noticed the almost imperceptible trail of blood leading up and over the log.

"Pinkie! How bad..." Twilight's words died in her throat as she slowly skidded to a stop. The rest of her friends slowly gathered around, each in a similar state of shock.

"What... what the hay is that?" Dash shook her head in disbelief.

"Oh my goodness!" Being the first to shake off her initial shock, Fluttershy quickly rushed over to tend to the injured creature. Laying on the ground in front of them, covered in cuts and bleeding heavily, was something they had never seen before.

It was very large, almost twice as long as they were tall. It had four limbs, the front two of wh[spoiler][/spoiler]ich ended in grasping appendages, similar to Spike's claws or a raccoon's paws. Oddest of all, it was wearing clothes. Shirt, pants, shoes on it's awkwardly shaped rear hooves, and a strangely reflective yellow vest. It was also mostly hairless, the only noticeable  patch growing in on the top of it's head.

"We have to get him back to my cottage, he's really hurt!" Fluttershy pleaded with the others, having finished applying several bandages.

"Him?" Twilight thought to herself, but decided not to question Fluttershy's expertise with animals. Lifting the unconscious beast in her magic, Twilight and the girls began to retreat back towards town. As they were leaving the clearing, Applejack turned back toward the trampled bodies of the timber wolves.

"Did that... thing do all this?" She shook her head, observing the carnage once more.

"C'mon slowpoke!" Dash shouted, punching Applejack on the shoulder. "You don't wanna be out here alone and in the dark!" AJ shot Rainbow a dirty look, to which she responded by giggling and hovering just out of reach.

Sweating under the oppressive heat of the noonday sun, Walter stabbed his shovel into the earth once again.

"Hurry up ladies!" The foreman yelled, "Unlike those cushy government jobs, I'm not paying you by the hour!" Walter grumbled to himself, he was fairly certain that was illegal, but since he was getting payed under the table anyway, it's not like he had room to complain. "Vault!" The foreman pointed one fat finger at Walter, "I see you daydreaming over there! Put your back into it, or I'm docking your pay!" Walter clenched his teeth, doing his best to not let his frustration show. He once again started digging.

Walter Stoneman, or 'Vault' to most people, an artefact of better days. Vault was an old nickname from high-school, but that was a story for another day. Right now, he just wanted to get the job over with and go home. At least the old couple they were working for were pleasant folks. Almost as if on cue, the couple came outside with refreshments for everyone. Waving to them, Vault accepted their offer of fresh ice tea. "Stone!" The foreman yells out again, "Did I say it was break time yet?"

Gritting his teeth again, "No sir, you didn't." Walter responds. He hated when the foreman shortened his last name, a reminder that the cheap asshole couldn't be bothered to get his whole name on his name tag. It read, 'Stone, Vault' like a listing in the phone book.

Or a prisoner dossier.

"I'm docking your pay for today." Vault could almost hear the smug grin adorning his pig like face. "Alright ladies, fifteen minutes!" It was going to be a very long day.

Walking home after a long day's work was never any fun, but Walter lived close enough to the labor pool that it was just more economical to walk. Two and a half miles just wasn't worth bus fare. Like he promised, the fat bastard had docked Walter's daily pay. By half the normal amount. It wasn't all bad, the elderly couple slipped him twenty dollars, having felt guilty for getting Vault in trouble. So today hadn't been a total loss, he had almost broken even thanks to their kindness.

"How did it ever come to this?" Walter sighed. He knew exactly why his life was in the toilet, but that didn’t make it an easier pill to swallow. Lost in his own thoughts, Vault didn't see the semi-truck blow through the red light. As he was walking across the street, Walter's head shot up only when the driver started jamming on the horn. Right before the metal missile impacted with his body, Walter only had time to utter a single word.

"Fuck."

And everything was blackness.

First Contact

“Truck-sama… Whyyyy?” Walter weakly cried out in a pain induced delirium. Fluttershy nearly had a heart-attack when she heard the poor critter speak. The bowl of soup she brought in was lazily spinning on the floor, in the very location she had so hastily vacated. It wobbled a few more times before slowly thruming to a stop. A pair of nervous blue eyes peered around the relative safety of the arm chair. As Fluttershy tried to regain control of her breathing, her mind was working overtime.

“He spoke!” inner Fluttershy panicked, “But not like animal speak! Real, honest to goodness, in Equestrian, spoke!” As her mind struggled to process this information, Walter moaned again. This shocked Fluttershy out of her floundering panic. “The poor thing is still hurt, I’ll figure this all out later.” Nodding to herself in conviction, she cautiously approached the sleeping creature. Beginning the long process of changing his bandages, Fluttershy was grateful the critter was seemingly receptive to her attempts to roll him over. While she went about her work quietly, she once again considered her next course of action. “What if he’s not an animal? He could be some kind of Minotaur?” she compared him to the next closest creature she could think of. She rolled him back into a more comfortable reclined position, “Maybe I should take him to the hospital instead?” Having finished changing his dressings, and seeing he was still in a fitful slumber, Fluttershy decided to clean up the mess she made with the soup.

As Fluttershy went to retrieve the mop and bucket, she saw that she had inadvertently piled her guest’s clothing in front of the closet door. When she picked up the pile of ruined clothing, something fell out, clattering noisily against the wooden floor. Peaking over the bundle in her forehooves, she saw something she hadn’t noticed before… A name tag.

Forgetting about the soup for a moment, Fluttershy set the pile of tatters down before turning her attention to the little piece of white plastic. It had not faired too well in whatever hardships her injured guest had gone through, but she could still make out the name.

“Stone Vault...” Fluttershy whispered to herself. What a strangely pony name for a seemingly un-pony like creature.

“Ummmm…” She heard a deep, stallion-like voice call out from behind her.

Fluttershy froze.

Slowly turning her head in the direction of the sofa, she locked eyes with her guest for the first time. He stared back at her with a look of both shock and confusion, one she was almost certain she shared.

Well, her’s probably had a little less confusion, and a lot more absolute terror.

Before the rational part of her brain could catch up. Fluttershy started screaming bloody murder, threw the name tag as hard as she could at Vault, and bolted for the nearest exit. Startled at the sound of this tiny yellow banshee, Vault started screaming as well. Vault scrambled to his feet, intent to run in the opposite direction of the little, butter-yellow demon horse. However, it was at this time that he discovered that he, was in fact, heavily injured. On top of that, he was covered in blankets that quickly tangled around his legs.

“Yep.” was all he managed to get out before his face became very intimate with the rather lovely hardwood floor. He was out like a light once again. Not that Fluttershy had noticed, she was halfway to Twilight’s by the time he was introduced to her floor.

Pain.

For but a fleeting moment of his rather short existence, his entire world was white hot agony. Though brief, it felt like it lasted a thousand years. But to be fair, it is sort of what one would expect after being hit by a speeding truck. However, the pain subsided and was soon replaced with a new sensation. Soft, sort of pokey, and slightly damp.

Vault opened his eyes, and was dumbstruck at what he saw. He was lying in a forest, a dark, foreboding wood. He was not, as he expected, in a hospital, or lying in a twisted heap on the side of the road.

“Oh good, I'm dead.” Vault said aloud to no one in particular. As he staggered to his feet, he noticed the intense pain was completely gone. In fact, he didn't seem to have a scratch on him. This pretty much confirmed his “I’m dead” theory however. Walter decided to leave that existential crisis behind for the moment, and turned his attention to more immediate problems. Namely, ‘Where am I?’, and ‘What do?’

Utilizing his extensive lack of practical knowledge, Vault decided to stay put. He had never been in a forest before, one of the disadvantages of spending your entire life in a desert. So, instead of wandering off in a random direction, possibly off a cliff or something, he decided to yell for help.

“Hello!?” he cupped his mouth and bellowed, “Is anybody there!?” His only reply was the whistling of the wind. Vault called out like this until he felt his voice grow hoarse, but he never heard a reply. Defeated, Vault sat down on a nearby log to strategize his next move.

Before he could contemplate his own mortality, he heard a rustling in the underbrush. His elation at potentially being rescued quickly turned to cold realization. “Not everything in the woods is friendly…” he thought to himself as four canine figures emerged into the clearing. “Those are… some very tiny wolves.” his confusion clear on his face. And it was true, he expected wolves to be big, like a husky or something. These things were barely bigger than cocker spaniels. He figured he could probably scare them off, considering he was so much bigger. However, that thought died off when another eight stepped into the clearing.

In the light of the setting sun, Vault finally got a good look at the cocker-wolfies. What struck him first, was their jewel-like green eyes, which seemed to glow faintly. Next, was the fact that they had no fur or hair, instead tough, craigy skin. It almost looked like… Tree bark? He started slowly backing away from the dozen tree-wolf-spaniels. As they circled around him, his mind was flying at a mile a minute.

“Shit! What do I do now!?”

“They’re probably going to wait to surround me before striking, and the attack is going to come from behind.”

“I wonder if Pratt-keeping really works?”

“Ooooooh, I get it. Timber. Wolves.”

And with that, every other thought came to a grinding halt and died.

“Are you fucking serious?” Walter deadpanned. And right after, was reunited with his old friend, Pain, via sharp wooden teeth to the leg. Vault cried out, his anger starting to rise. He didn't know who to be upset with more; himself for allowing his focus to slip, the little bastard for biting him, or whatever asshole banished him to a place that preyed on his natural weakness to puns.

“You little shit!” Vault grabbed the small tree-vermin by the neck and choke-slammed it into the ground. He briefly wondered if that was too much when it exploded into twigs and leaves. Then, he realized it wasn't nearly enough when it started to put itself back together. Just like the damn Liquinator or, more aptly, a spooky skeleton. He felt a shiver crawl down his spine.

“Uh oh…” Vault finally realized how utterly fucked he was. If he was a different man, he would have gotten scared. Maybe concoct a desperate but daring escape plan. Maybe run for dear life off into the woods. Maybe break down crying at the hopelessness of the situation. Or maybe even pray to whatever higher power was listening, and beg for salvation. But no, he did not do any of these typical, more sensible things.

Instead, he got angry.

Really fucking angry.

It happened so fast, even Vault didn't realize until it was too late.

“No!” Vault growled out between teeth clenched so hard, his gums began to bleed.

“No!” he roared aloud, his knuckles popping, as he curled his fingers into vicious claws.

“Please, no.” he pleaded mentally, no longer able to form words. Unleashing an inhuman howl, he launched himself barehanded at his attackers.

“Not again.” his rational mind whimpered, as it faded into nothing more than white noise. He grabbed one of the wolves mid lunge, squeezing it’s skull until it shattered in a hail of splinters. This one didn't get back up.

“Good.”

And then, everything was Red.

Better Days

Twilight stood in Fluttershy’s entrance hall, an incredulous look on her face. The pony in question was hiding her face behind her hooves, her face bright red with embarrassment.

“I’m sorry... I panicked.” She sniffled slightly. In front of her, Angel Bunny was tapping his foot impatiently, an annoyed scowl on his face. Just by his body language, Twilight knew he had just spent the last few minutes admonishing Fluttershy’s behavior. Angel rolled his eyes and began chittering at her again. Fluttershy’s head shot up, “Predator? I know I promised to never be alone with one, but you think he's dangerous?”

This caught Twilight’s attention, “What did Angel say? Our mysterious guest is some kind of apex predator? Maybe your animals already know what it is!” Twilight clopped her hooves together excitedly. She had already spent the better part of her evening pouring over her collection of zoology books, but had failed to locate a creature similar to the one they found in the Everfree. Just then, Harry the Bear walked in from the living room, a nightcap on his head, and an unconscious Vault in his arms. Angel turned to face Twilight, and shook his head negatively. He chittered out a few more times, bounded up Harry’s shoulder, then pulled on Harry’s cheek, showing off the bear’s teeth.

“Oh! Angel says he doesn't know exactly what kind of creature Stone is, but his teeth are the same as Harry’s.” Fluttershy helpfully provided.

“Stone? Did you already name it?” Twilight peaked an eyebrow.

Fluttershy smiled, shaking her head, “Oh no, I didn't. He had a nametag on his clothes.”

Twilight cocked her head sideways, “A nametag? Like an I.D. collar? Does it have the owner’s address?” she asked.

Before Fluttershy could explain further, Harry let out a disgruntled growl. As fascinating as this conversation was, he didn't appreciate being woken up in the middle of the night, just to get his fur all bloody.

“Oh my, Harry! I'm sorry! Let’s get you a quick bath, and then get you back to bed.” Fluttershy hugged the grumpy bear. “Twilight?” she turned her head away from the snuggles, “Could you take Stone from Harry please?”

“O-oh, ok.” Twilight’s pink telekinetic aura appeared around Vault’s sleeping form, and gently lifted him out of Harry’s arms. Freed from his burden, Harry dropped back down on to all fours, and plodded into the bathroom.

As Fluttershy followed Harry, she called over to Twilight, “Take him to the hospital, please? I don't think he's actually an animal.”

“Wait, what?” Twilight almost dropped her passenger.

Fluttershy shrugged “He can talk, and not like how Angel Bunny or Harry talk to me, but like any other pony.” She scrunched up her muzzle in thought, “I’m almost positive that's why I got so startled when he woke up.” Twilight ruminated on this new tidbit of information. If it wasn't actually an animal, but a sapient being capable of higher thought, then that might explain Fluttershy’s extreme reaction to it. For as long as Twilight as known her, she's never been so jumpy around a critter, even a dangerous one.

“That makes sense, I guess.” Twilight lightly tapped a forehoof against her chin, “If you think that’s for the best, I'll check ‘Stone’ in on my way back home.”

Fluttershy smiled warmly, “Thank you, Twilight.” She waved goodbye to her friend as Twilight left with Vault in tow. Shutting the door behind her, Fluttershy surveyed the damage. There was still the soup mess from before, she needed to deal with that before it stained. Then there was the tattered clothes and blankets, both covered in blood. Last but not least, she had a very sleepy bear who needed a bath, and who had also left muddy footprints all over the entryway and living room. “I don't think I'm going to get much sleep tonight, am I?” she whimpered.

It was Walter’s senior year of highschool. He was looking forward to the last summer with his friends, before they all went off to college next fall. Vault himself didn't really have a subject in mind, he’d just go with the flow, like he always did. However, he did like the idea of an out of state university, and Lucille had made the experience sound amazing.

Lucille was Vault’s self appointed best friend, and she had recently toured a few universities with her parents. The way she told it, you’d think that she had just come back from a grand adventure. Like hunting for pirate gold, or some forgotten pharaoh's treasure. But that was just what Lucile was like, always full of energy, she never did anything half-heartedly.

“How about you, Vault? Vhat did your parents say about Uni?” Lucille beamed at him, having just finished another long tirade about her visit.

Vault smiled softly at her, “My mom really likes the idea, but my dad was grilling me all night about it,” he sighed. “I think he just wants me to stay where he can keep an eye on me.”

Lucille nodded sagely, “Ja, Ja… I can see zat, it’s nice to know your parents care zo much about you.”

“Yeah, sure… So you were talking about the library?” Vault strategically steered the conversation away from his family life.

Lucille’s eyes lit up, “It vas zo big! Und it had zuch a spectacular view of ze countryside!” She immediately went back into her stories.

Walter smiled warmly. He could listen to Lucille talk all day. She was just so full of energy and life, and had a way of explaining things so vividly, it was like you were right there with her.

It also helped that her accent was super cute.

Lucile had moved from Germany about halfway through eighth grade. Back then, she hardly spoke English at all, and what little she did was heavily accented. She got bullied a lot for the first couple of months.

One day, Walter caught a few of the other boys giving her a hard time. Normally, he would have stayed out of it, he just didn't like conflict. Then, one of the other boys pushed her down into the mud and she started to cry. That made him change his mind pretty quick. Walter had always been rather large for his age, so when he started shouting and running over to them, the bullies decided it wasn't worth the effort and ran. When he made it over, Walter helped the girl up to her feet, and asked if she was ok.

“Danke, Vault.” Lucile replied, still drying her tears.

Walter gave her an amused smile, “Vault?” he asked, nearly giggling.

She shot him a confused look, “Vaulter Stonmann? Mathematik klasse?”

That would explain it, she must have overheard some of the others call him Walt in class, he was never really fond of the nickname. Vault, however, sounded really cool!

“Yeah, thats me, Vault.” he replied with a large grin on his face. Lucille smiled back, and together they went to the school office. Lucille needed to call her parents for a change of clothes. She wasn’t going to tattle on those boys, however, she already had enough problems fitting in. Even though he didn't like it, Walter agreed to keep quiet.

And that was the day Walter and Lucille became friends, and the day he also got his nickname. Ever since, they had practically been attached at the hip, and did everything together.

Awaken

Vault was slowly awoken by the steady beep of an ECG machine. He opened his bleary eyes to sterile white ceiling tile, and equally lifeless eggshell walls. He could smell industrial cleaner wafting in from somewhere beyond the seafoam green curtain surrounding his bed.

“I must be in a hospital…” he deduced, “Makes sense, I did get hit by a truck.” He was aware of a dull ache all over his body, as well as being practically mummified in linen bandages, but not nearly in as much pain as he felt he should.be. “Must be the painkillers,” he reasoned, “Might explain the weird dream with the stick dogs and adorable yellow banshee.” He chuckled softly to himself, what a weird hallucination. One thing, however, was still needling the back of his mind… Why were his feet touching the floor?

Walter leaned forward a bit, and saw his legs dangling off the end of the bed. “Am I in the children’s ward or something?” he puzzled, “Maybe there was a big disaster, and they ran out of beds?” As nuts as that sounded, it had to be the reason...right? The sound of hushed chatter caught Walter’s attention from beyond the door. Barely audible over the rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor, was a man and a woman arguing in harsh whispers.

The door was closed, so Vault couldn't really make out what was being said. Listening intently, he could make out bits of the female voice.

“Giant...dangerous… patient!” he heard the woman hiss. That didn't sound good, maybe he was more hurt than he thought? Vault couldn't make out the male’s terse reply, but she continued to argue, a little quieter this time. A few moments later, there was a knock on the door.

“Mr. Stone?” it was a male voice, but older sounding than the previous one. “My name is Doctor Check-Up, may I come in?”

“Dr. Check-Up?” Vault chuckled to himself. “Definitely in the children's ward.” He turned his head and weakly called out, “Yeah, sure thing doctor.” the door opened and Vault heard… way more than a pair of foot steps. He wasn't exactly sure, but the way they echoed off the floor made it sound like at least a half dozen people. Someone pulled away the curtain separating him from the rest of the room, and Walter found himself face to face with two adorable tiny horses.

“How are you feeling, Mr. Stone?” Dr. Check-Up asked, his regal mustache bouncing with each syllable. Next to him was a pink-haired nurse holding up a clipboard with her right foreleg, jotting down notes via a pen in her mouth.

“Neat.” Vault took a picture with his imaginary camera, before turning his attention back to the doctor. “Well doctor, I'm not in much pain, but I think I may be having some kind of reaction to the medication.” he calmly explained.

The mustachioed old horse looked taken aback by this. “Oh my!” he exclaimed. “What are you feeling? Chills? Heart Palpitations?” The nurse set down her clipboard on the end table, and examined the machine next to Vault. The doctor quickly put on his stethoscope and began listening for his heartbeat.

Walter laughed softly, “No, nothing like that Doctor Check-Up.” he patted the stallion’s hoof, “This is going to sound silly but…” the nurse and doctor backed up and stared at him expectantly. “You look like little ponies right now.” he smiled out.

The two medical professionals looked at each other in confusion. Vault started laughing, this was the part they always laughed at right? He said something impossible, they all laughed about it, they gave him some different medicine, and everything went back to normal right? Except, they weren't laughing. Why weren't they laughing?

“Umm… Mr. Stone?” the pink and white nurse cautiously spoke up. Vault’s awkward laughter died off slowly. “We are ponies.” she finished.

“Huh. Imagine that.” Vault replied, nodding his head slightly. The machine next to him suddenly began to go haywire. Several alarms went off, lights flashed, and the steady beeping increased in tempo.

“Pulse is rising! Blood pressure dropping! He’s crashing!” the nurse called out.

“Mr. Stone? Can you hear me Mr. Stone? Stone Vault!?” Doctor Check-up yelled.

Not that Walter could hear him at the moment.

Twilight was up in her library, performing more research on the visitor. However, her research had taken a different turn. At first, she thought him to be some kind of animal, potentially dangerous, but nothing special. Then something strange happened. She didn't notice it at first, but after she took Stone Vault to the Ponyville hospital, she was exhausted. She felt like she had just carried a saddlebag full of rocks up a mountain, and this was highly unusual.

It… he was indeed heavy, that was for certain, but not anymore so than his size would reasonably indicate. And yet, Twilight felt like she had been levitating an Ursa Minor around all afternoon. This got her thinking, what if Stone wasn't a normal animal, but a magic creature? She began digging into her copy of “Mystical Monsters and You: A Bestiary.” While she still didn't find any record of whatever species Stone belonged to, she did discover something that may just confirm her suspicions.

“Zebrica hosts a number of exotic and dangerous plants, one in particular is especially dangerous to unicorns and other spell casting races.” Twilight read aloud. “Magisorum Syphonium, more commonly called ‘Mage Bane’, is a creeping vine covered in bright red flowers with large teardrop shaped petals. Mage Bane grows upon rocks, plants, and other stationary environmental features. While maturing, they feed upon ambient mana fields. However, should they come into direct physical contact with a unicorn or similarly magic creature, they will suddenly animate and attempt to root themselves in the victim's body.”

Twilight suppressed a gag, “The process is exceedingly painful, and can result in death by rapid magic exsanguination. This is not the only danger they pose. For they can also absorb mana via magical manipulation. Unicorns interacting with the vines or flowers with their telekinesis have reported feeling physically exhausted afterwards.”

Well, Stone obviously isn't a plant,and he didn't try to eat her, but this proves that such a thing is not unheard of. Twilight tried to ignore it, but maybe Stone was like Tirek? The very idea that another monster like that could be out there terrified her.

That's why she took the necessary precaution of stationing a few guards outside his room. At the very least, she could get a little warning should anything go wrong.

Just then, Spike came running into the library, his eyes tired, but alarmed. Twilight felt her heart drop into her stomach.

“Twilight!” he cried, “Something's wrong at the hospital! One of your guards rushed over here as soon as he could. They need your help!” the little dragon belted out, Twilight already galloping over to him.

“Spike, tell the rest of the guards to be on stand by.” Twilight, hastily scribbled a note, “Send this to Princess Celestia, then go get the rest of the girls and bring them back here.” She ordered.

“What's going on, Twilight?” the still drowsy dragon asked.

“Nothing, I hope.” she bit her lip, “But I want everypony ready, just in case.”

Spike nodded, a little unsure, “Okay, but please be careful.” he replied, before reaching up to hug her.

Twilight craned down her neck to nuzzle the baby dragon, “I will Spike, I promise.” Giving him one last encouraging smile, Twilight teleported away.

Midnight Flight

Twilight reappeared in the front lobby of Ponyville hospital, and immediately knew something was wrong. A small group of patients, staff, and visitors had all gathered near the hallway leading to the isolation wing.

Right where the guards should have been.

As Twilight galloped past the onlookers, she saw a guard come flying out of Stone’s room. He impacted the wall with a sickening crunch, Twilight could only hope that the armor had done it’s job and absorbed most of the impact. Nurse Redheart exited the room shortly after, dragging an unconscious Dr. Check-up along with her. As Twilight prepared a stunning spell, she heard the sound of glass breaking. Rounding into the room, she saw the last pegasus guard rolling back to her feet, the broken window behind her.

“Corporal Nightingale, what happened here?” Twilight asked as she helped the mare stand.

Nightingale groaned, “Sorry your highness, we weren't expecting the creature to be so strong. It kicked Stormy through the door before it picked me up and tossed my around like a rag doll.” she coughed weakly. “Then the crazy bastard jumped right through the glass.” she pointed to the broken window.

Twilight looked out the window and briefly considered her next course of action. “Corporal Nightingale, are you alright?”

Nightingale nodded, but let out a pained grunt when she tried to adjust her wings. “Urg… Sorry Princess, my wing must have gotten twisted when I hit the floor.” she held her right wing limply at her side.

“Nurse Redheart!” Twilight called out to the hallway, “Can you take care of the injured?” she questioned.

She was currently attending to the dazed Stormy, but Redheart looked over and nodded at Twilight. “It doesn't look like there are any serious injuries. I'll be fine here, you just worry about that monster!” she called back.

Taking that as her cue, Twilight spread her wings and took off through the broken window. “I'll be able to spot him easier from the air.” she planned, “At the very least I can go get Rainbow, if Spike hasn't gotten that far yet.” But for now, she had to try and find Stone before anypony else got hurt.

“Somepony send for the Princess, immediately!” yelled out Dr. Check-Up, still trying to regain control of the situation. The sound of rapidly retreating hooves could be heard on the other side of the door.

He had definitely gone insane. Maybe the accident had given him brain damage, maybe he had died and was in some kind of adorable purgatory. Vault was oddly calm considering he was fairly certain he was having a heart attack.

It was strange, to say the least, like watching the events unfold from the perspective of an uninterested third party. The doctor and the nurse both scrambling to save his life. Walter watched Dr. Check-up, who he just now noticed was a unicorn, light up his horn with a pale blue aura. This same aura surrounded his body for the briefest of moments before winking out of existence.

Then all hell broke loose.

Walter suddenly felt like his blood had turned to acid, and that his skin was aflame. The most disturbing part, was that it felt almost... good. Walter didn't stay in the much too small bed for long. Mostly because his thrashing had shattered the frame. The tiny nurse pony was frantically shaking her colleague, the doctor having apparent fallen unconscious. As Vault clambered to his feet, she began yelling.

“G-guards! Help!” she cried out before attempting to drag Dr. Check-Up out of the room with her mouth. Vault didn't like the sound of that, but he had a matter to attend to first. The fact he was very naked, save for some medical gauze here and there. He could hear the sound of hooves on tile rapidly approaching. Thinking quickly, Vault tied the bedsheets around his waist. It was less a toga and more a skirt, but it'll do.

Just then, the door flew open and a pair of armored flappy horses came charging in. By this point Walter had enough, he saw the tiny stallion rushing him in a straight line. He kicked out at the small horse just after he came into range, but Vault had misjudged the little guy’s speed. He missed the chin shot he was aiming for, and ended up nailing him in the armored chest. With more power than he thought possible, he sent the guardspony sailing out of the room. In the moment of impact, Walter was almost sure he looked just as confused as the stallion.

“I’m too strong” Vault fretted, “I don't know how, but at this rate I'll seriously hurt someone.” A darker, more primal part of his mind replied “Good.” Walter ignored it for the time being, as the second guard went for the more tactical approach. Leaping at him, but then quickly changing her angle of attack with a quick flap of her wings before diving at him.

“Can't hit her, but I can't exactly let her hit me.” Vault noticed the broken bed, and smiled. “That’ll work.” As the mare launched her attack, Vault grabbed her by the forehoof before turning and pulling her over his shoulder. The soldier let out an undignified squawk when Walter drove his shoulder up into her chest, and swung her down towards the mattress. She bounced, hard. She impacted the spongy surface on her back, just like he intended, but she then shot up and into the ceiling.

Vault didn't have time to check on the injured guards, even now he could hear the telltale sound of equine reinforcements. Not seeing a whole lot of options, he opted to jump out the window. As soon as his body went through the glass plane, he was immensely relieved to discover he was on the first floor.

If Walter stopped to consider his situation, he might have realized that running could only make things worse. He was lost in an unfamiliar area, and he might be hallucinating. However, the adrenaline running through his system clouded his thinking. All he could focus on was trying to outrun this nightmare.

And run he did, doing his best to avoid more bird horses, ducking under trees and roofs whenever he could. The logical passenger to his flight of terror briefly marveled at the architecture, they were like little cottages. He wondered why they didn't live in barns?

“Racist,” the snarky part of his brain remarked.  Vault didn't dignify that with a response, he was far too busy panicking. He covered a lot of ground in a short time, much quicker than he could ever remember moving before. Before long, he found himself on a country road outside of town. As he kept running, he found himself surrounded by apple trees, fruit still heavy on the vine. Separated from civilization, he finally paused to take a breath. His lungs were burning, but in a way he could understand. As he calmed himself, he realized his blood and skin had cooled. The chill of the night began creeping up on him.

He needed to find shelter. It would be really stupid to survive all this, only to die of exposure. So, at a much more sedate pace, he began to search for a suitable place to bed down for the night. Wandering a little further he stumbled upon a quaint little farm near the woods.

“Well, that would explain the orderly trees.” Vault said aloud, mostly to keep himself calm. Not wanting to risk another encounter, he snuck his way onto the property. The farmhouse lights were off, so he chanced getting closer. There was a barn near the house, but he could hear no animals, so maybe it was just for storage? He crept up to the barn and slowly made his way around the side. Once he reached the doors, he cautiously pried one of them open. He opened it just enough to slink inside, and carefully shut it behind him.

The barn was a vast improvement over the outside. While it was still chilly, thanks to the large gaps that let the moonlight in, but cozy nonetheless. As Walter prepared himself a bed of straw, the rustling of the hay masked the sound of the barn door opening.

“What in tarnation!?” a distinctly feminine voice called out from behind him. Vault released a distinctly feminine squeal, turning so fast he lost his footing and fell into the larger stack of hay. Struggling to escape, he flailed and clawed his way out of the straw pile.

“N-now now, let's talk this over like…” Vault began as his face emerged from the hay. Only, he was now more or less face to face with the little orange pony. Or rather, face to butt. Before he could properly process this turn of events, the southern pony reared up on her front legs and kicked out with all her might. Both rear hooves hit their mark, which was Walter’s confused face.

For the fourth time today, Walter Stoneman took the express train to sleepy time junction.

Noisy

“Ah know I shundna kicked ‘em Twilight, but yer varmint scared the hay outa me!” Applejack defended herself to her Alicorn friend. Twilight stood in Applejack’s barn, at almost one in the morning, over the once again unconscious body of their mysterious visitor.

“Alright Applejack, let's go over this one more time…” the purple princess said, hoof on her forehead. “Spike and Rarity woke you up and said there was an emergency. Then you went into your barn...why?” She asked.

The cowpony released a frustrated grunt, “Ah already told ya! Ah was gettin’ mah rope!” She exasperatedly explained.

“So you went alone?” Twilight shifted her stance impatiently.

“Well Ah didn't expect to find… whatever that is in mah barn!” Applejack pointed an accusatory hoof in the direction of the unconscious man.

“Was he threatening you somehow?” Twilight asked, her voice increasingly on edge.

“W-well… no, not exactly.” Applejack visibly balked, her cheeks turning a faint red. “Ahm pretty sure it didn't even hear me come in.”

“So why, in the wide wide world of Equestria, did you kick him in the face!?” Twilight practically screamed at her friend.

“That thing had no business bein’ in mah barn! He’s just lucky Mac didn't catch ‘em! Ah doubt he wudda been as nice!” Applejack yelled back.

At this point Rainbow Dash had heard enough, and didn't want things to devolve any further.

“Ok, alright! Break it up girls.” she swooped in and gently pushed the two angry mares apart.

Twilight opened her mouth to unleash a scathing retort, but quickly bit her tongue. Rainbow was right, there was nothing to be gained by arguing. The damage had already been done.

“I'm sorry AJ, I can't say I would have reacted any better if I found a strange creature in my home in the middle of the night.” Twilight apologized.

“I'm sorry to, Twilight.” Applejack gave a frustrated snort, “It's just… embarrassing, that I reacted so badly.” She turned to look at the wounded giant, regret in her eyes. “He didn't mean no harm, he was just trying to find a warm place to sleep.”

The victim in question was being tended to by Fluttershy once again. Rainbow had come in right as she had finished mopping the floor. So close to sleep, and yet so far.

“You’re a real trouble maker aren't you?” she gently admonished her patient. He definitely had a broken nose, and would most likely have a black eye, if not two. However, she was surprised to find his earlier injuries were just… gone. As if all the cuts, bites, and bruises he had accumulated in the Everfree had never happened.

Something was unusual about this creature, Fluttershy was certain of that.

“Well, with that little bit of nastiness out of the way.” Rarity interjected, “Twilight, dear, did you ever find out exactly what our unfortunate friend actually is?”

“Well… Not exactly.” Purple Smart replied. “I found enough to begin formulating a few theories of my own, but I didn't find any specific information about Stone’s species.” She continued, “But what I did discover isn't exactly comforting.”

“Well!? Spill the beans sister!” Pinkie called out, laying down on the floor, front hooves tucked neatly underneath her chin.

“Well,” Twilight cleared her throat, “When my more common zoology books failed to provide an answer, I expanded my search to more exotic creatures.” Spike and the other girls turned their attention to Twilight, as she engaged “lecture mode” in full force. “Still nothing, but one article in particular made me question something about this lifeform that I hadn't noticed before.” She explained. “He was absorbing my magic.”

The others all gasped in surprise at the revelation.

“Twilight! Are you absolutely sure?” Rarity cried out, suddenly interested in putting more space between her and the giant.

“Wait a second!” Rainbow Dash screeched, “He was stealing your magic!? Like that Tirek guy!?” Both Rainbow and AJ affixed the unconscious man with renewed glares of hostility.

“That's what I'm thinking,” Twilight sighed, “But we can't be certain, everything he’s done up to this point has been defending himself.” she reminded the group.

“But what about Dr. Check-Up?” Spike spoke up, “He didn't do anything and he still got hurt.” The other girls murmured their agreement.

“That's just it,” Twilight declared. “Dr.Check-Up was fine until he tried to use magic on Stone. Nurse Redheart assured me that he wouldn't have any lasting injuries.”

“Stone this, Stone that!” Rainbow yelled, “Why the fuck did you guys name it!?”

“But we didn't…” Fluttershy tried to quietly interject.

“Rainbow Dash!” Rarity exclaimed, interrupting the shy pegasus, “Language!”

“What are you, my mom?” Rainbow Shot back. To which the fashionista replied with an indignant huff.

“Don't yell at Rarity cuz you can't control your potty mouth!” Applejack retorted to her prismatic friend.

“Umm...girls?” Fluttershy once again tried to get everyone's attention.

“Girls, this isn't helping anything!” Twilight raised her voice to try to get control of the situation.

“What? we're all adults here, well… except for Spike, no offence.” Dash addressed her scaled friend.

“None taken.” Spike responded with a shrug.

“Umm… Girls!?” Fluttershy’s voice was beginning to grow more strained.

“That is no excuse!” Rarity continued, “A proper lady doesn't besmirch her vocabulary with such vulgarity! Didn't your parents teach you any better!?” she laid into the prismatic pony.

“Now don't you go bringin’ her family into this!” AJ quickly rounded on the white unicorn, “I'm certain Rainbow's folks are right proper parents! It's not their fault Rainbow doesn't listen!”

Rainbow nodded in agreement, but then she caught on to the full meaning of Applejack’s words.

“Hey!” she yelled at the orange apple farmer.

“Girls! Please! This is going too far!” Twilight stepped into the brawl in the making.

“Loud Noises!” Pinkie Pie screamed before pronking her way into the argument.

“Girls!?” Fluttershy was just about in full panic mode by now.

“Maybe you should all calm down?” Spike offered, “Umm… Please?” he begged.

The argument continued unabated, having absorbed all parties present, save for Fluttershy. But that was about to change.

“Ladies!” an unfamiliar and masculine voice boomed.

Slowly, all eyes present affixed themselves on the source of the outburst. Standing next to Fluttershy, who had her hooves over her mouth and a look of complete terror on her face, was the giant named Stone.

There was a long uncomfortable silence as the mysterious creature glared at the arguing mares.

“Please.” he began in the calmest voice he could muster, “My head is killing me right now, and you are making it very difficult to sleep.”

The assembled Equestrians could only stare, mouths agape, at the surprisingly eloquent magic stealing monster.

“So, could you try to keep it down? Please?” he asked.

“Uh, Umm… Ok.” Twilight shyly responded. The others quickly nodded their heads in agreement.

“Good, thank you.” the beast named Stone smiled warmly at them, before flopping over into his makeshift bed.

Quietly

The assembled Equestrians stood in silence for a moment, until the tell-tale sound of gentle snoring could be heard. This tense silence didn't last for long.

“Twilight!” Pinkie Pie whisper shouted, “What do we doooo!?”

“I'm not…” Twilight began in her normal lecturing voice, only to be stopped when Vault let out an annoyed grunt. “I'm not sure Pinkie,” she continued at a more subdued volume, “Applejack?”

The orange cowpony had shaken off her initial shock, and was looking like she was ready for round two with the beast. Her muzzle was scrunched up in anger, and she was breathing so hard she was practically snorting.

“Now listen here you varmint!” she yelled, only to have her forthcoming triad be stopped in its tracks by a very frightened yellow pegasus. Said pegasus was silently making placating gestures towards Applejack, begging her to be more quiet.

However, the damage had already been done, and Stone once again stirred in his sleep. Without fully waking up, he reached for the nearest source of warmth. With an adorable yelp of sheer terror, Fluttershy was grabbed by the giant before she could scramble out of reach. With uncommon strength, Vault pulled the downy soft sky horse into an all consuming hug. His snoring resumed shortly thereafter.

“He's cuddling me!” Fluttershy screamed inside her mind. “What stallion would want me now?” she bemoaned her loveless fate. The terrified animal caretaker turned her head towards her friends and squeaked out a pathetic “Help me!”

“Now look what you did!” Rainbow Dash yelled at Applejack in the loudest whisper she could muster. “Hang on Fluttershy!”

Once again, all attention was on Twilight. The purple princess now in charge of saving their yellow friend.

“Ok, this situation is spiraling out of control.” Twilight moaned to herself, hooves rubbing her temples. “Can't use magic, as all we know is that Stone absorbs it.” she continued, “Can't use force, as he technically hasn't done anything wrong.”

“Ah disagree,” Applejack cut in, “Breakin’ and enterin’ is still a crime, last time ah checked.” she stated matter -o-factly.

“Ok fair,” Twilight admitted, “But that doesn't mean that we should resort to violence.” Applejack hummed in agreement. “Besides,” Twilight began, “I saw how easily he dealt with two trained guardsponies, he clearly isn't a pushover.”

“Really?” Rainbow Dash giggled, “No offense Twi, but I think Opal could give your guards a run for their bits.”

Pinkie giggle-snorted at this. While Rarity tried, and ultimately failed, to hide her own laughter behind a hoof. Even Spike had to stifle a laugh.

Twilight groaned in frustration, this wasn't getting them anywhere. Besides, she kind of had to admit they were sorta right.

How she wished that wasn't the case.

Meanwhile, Fluttershy’s panic had largely died down. She realized she wasn't in any immediate danger, she just hoped that he wasn't hungry when he woke up.

“Oh my…” she whispered to herself, “This seems to be taking quite a while…”

Resigning herself to her current predicament, she realized it wasn't so bad. She was comfortable enough, Stone was surprisingly gentle and pleasantly warm.

It was rather late, way past her normal bedtime. And the gentle inhale-exhale rhythm of her unwanted snuggle partner was oddly soothing. Exhaustion and body heat finally did her in, and slowly but surely, Fluttershy drifted off to sleep.

The assembled friends continued to “strategize” over how best to extricate Fluttershy from the giant's grasp. Which mostly entailed Twilight coming up with an idea and somepony else shooting it down. That was until Rainbow turned her head to check on her fellow pegasus one more time.

“Umm… guys?” Dash gathered everyone's attention, pointing a hoof over toward the sleeping pair.

“Aww…” Rarity couldn't help but find situation adorable. “Twilight… Are you positive that this “Stone” creature isn't dangerous?” she asked.

“I'm not sure of anything at this point,” Twilight admitted, “But I also think he hasn't been intentionally hurting anypony.”

“Except Private Stormy,” Spike oh so helpfully provided, “Stone did kick him through a door.”

Twilight shot Spike a mildly annoyed look, “Well, we should keep an eye on him, just to be safe.”

“Ya’ll don't mean…” Applejack began.

“A slumber party!” Pinkie yelled, only to be shushed by everypony else. “Yay~!” She cheered as quietly as possible.

AJ sighed, “Ah’ll go get some blankets.” she said while trotting toward the door.

“No need!” Pinkie cut in, and proceeded to pull out color coordinated sleeping bags for everyone.

From her mane.

Those assembled briefly considered questioning why Pinkie had six custom sleeping bags, probably more. Or how she was carrying all of them in her mane. However, just as swiftly as the thought was made, it was dismissed. Because to ask such questions was to invite madness, better to leave it as “Pinkie just being Pinkie.”

Five ponies and a dragon set up their sleeping bags in relative silence, wishing each other good night. Twilight, used pulling all-nighters, would stay up to keep an eye on Stone. She promised to wake up one of the others if she started to doze off.

As the others drifted off, one after the other, Twilight set herself up to record all she could about the alien creature sleeping before her. This was so exciting!

Into the wee hours of the morning, the only sounds coming from the barn were gentle snores, and the frantic scratching of a quill pen.

Human in Equestria

Stone Vault awoke in his new bed, the downy softness of the mattress still foreign to him. Walter had grown up without a lot of the finer things in life, he was used to “making due” with whatever was on hand. As odd as it sounded, that was the thing Vault had the most trouble with. Suddenly going from a world where he could barely pay the bills to, for all intents and purposes, being a pet for Equestria’s ruling class.

However, Walter was never one to sit around and idle the days away. He was determined to not be a burden on Twilight, despite her assurance that he was no such thing. It didn't feel right, he wanted to be useful, to contribute. These feelings were intensified the day Twilight introduced him to the citizens of Ponyville. He saw those looks again; fear, distrust, and even amusement. The last one bothered him the most, like how one would look at a dancing monkey, not an intelligent being with thoughts and emotions.

Vault slapped his cheeks a few times, he had to get out of his own head for a while. He couldn't let himself get depressed from a few negative reactions. He would just have to show these ponies he was a good guy, somebody they could trust, not some kind of dangerous beast. But as he walked into the bathroom for a morning shower, a nagging thought grew in the back of his mind.

“You want them to trust you?” the voice said, “Even when you know they shouldn't?” it taunted. Vault buried his head under the steaming stream of liquid relaxation, trying in vain to keep such ideas out of his head. “Face it, we both know you're a monster.” the voice grew in malevolent intensity, “And in this world of cartoon horses? You can't even hide it anymore.”

“No!” Walter snarled out, his voice low and bestial. He pounded his fist on the crystalline wall of the shower, the solid structure fracturing beneath the sudden assault. Vault pulled his shaking hand from the fresh crater on the once immaculate surface, tiny bits of crystal falling from his undamaged fist. “I’m… I’m not a monster.” he assured himself.

Even though he didn't really believe it.

This was turning out to be an interesting week for Twilight. Not only did they discover a new, intelligent species, but now said discovery was living with her! Stone was an… interesting creature to say the least. He was very quiet, but polite and answered her questions without complaint.

It had been eye opening, to say the least. Stone wasn't simply from some unknown tribe living within the Everfree, or even anywhere else in the world. It would seem he came from another world entirely! Unfortunately, Vault had no idea how he got to Equestria in the first place. When asked, his response was “I was hit by a truck.” to which her natural reply was “What's a truck?”

That had been a can of worms Twilight was not prepared to open. The world where Vault was from apparently had no magic of any kind, advanced technology taking it's place. From what she could gather over her many talks with Stone, a “truck” was a large motorized carriage designed to carry large amounts of freight. Sort of like a train, but smaller and not bound to running on tracks.

After that, Twilight spent every spare moment asking questions about Stone's world. This “Internet” thing he talked a lot about sounded really exciting, the entirety of a world’s knowledge, always right at your hooves! All this technology required immense amounts of power, or “electricity”, to work. This power was generated by “power plants” all over the place. Coal was apparently the most common, which was fascinating, who knew the same fuel that powered trains could run an advanced technological civilization?

Naturally, the conversation segued into other ways “Humans,” as they're called, generated electricity. Solar power was her favorite, she'd have to tell Celestia about that one. However, the conversation took a dark turn when Stone mentioned something called “Nuclear” power. He explained what it was, to the best of his ability, and how it came to be.

In an instant, Twilight's image of a technological utopia run by scientists and scholars was shattered. They created this power, capable of generating more energy than ever before, for the sole purpose of killing. It was originally a weapon, capable of destruction of such magnitude, Twilight could scarcely imagine it. But that isn't what scared her, not by a long shot. Not even Stone’s explanation that this was just how humans typically progressed, the never ending race for an advantage over your enemies. The thing that scared her the most, was how passive he was about recounting the sins of his people, like he didn't really care.

They didn't talk for a day after that. Twilight told him it was because she needed to archive her notes for later review, but in reality it was so she could come to terms with what she had learned. Vault seemed harmless enough, polite if a bit… distant. But she had never heard of a species capable of such violence before. Even the infamously antisocial and predatory griffins were schoolyard bullies by comparison. Humanity, if Stone's explanation of the them was correct, is incredibly scary.

Naturally, she couldn't confirm the truth with an unbiased opinion, that would require interviewing more humans to get a proper sample. Considering that Stone couldn't tell her how he got here, that was incredibly unlikely, bordering on impossible. But even if she could, would she want to? Was Stone a typical member of his species? Was he more hostile and negative than the norm, or was he an exceptionally gentle example? That last thought chilled her to the bone. A group of intelligent people, with access to weapons of supreme annihilation, and the nigh sadistic desire to see them used.

Maybe one human in Equestria was enough.

First Steps

Vault proceeded down the stairs toward the kitchen for breakfast. It wasn't going to be a fun conversation, but he had to tell Twilight about the shower wall eventually. Walter examined his hand again; no pain, no cuts, no bruises of any kind. That worried him, he could explain away tossing ponies around like pillows, seeing how much bigger he was than them. Not this, these walls were solid as rock. Maybe he'd ask Twilight about it, why he was suddenly so super strong. Although it was doubtful she'd have any insights.

“Good Morning, Spike.” Walter said, before sitting down at the small breakfast table.

“Oh hey Vault!” Spike replied, waddling over with a giant stack of fluffy pancakes.

While Vault was still coming to terms with the fact that he may never eat meat again, Spike's cooking made that loss a little more tolerable.

While Walter dug into his breakfast, Spike returned to the stove, continuing the conversation. “So, What are you doing today?” he asked, adding a few small sapphires to his own pancakes. “More study sessions with Twilight?”

Vault shrugged, “It's not like I don't enjoy telling Twilight about my world, but…” he poked at his syrupy confectionary, “I feel like I should do more that sit around the castle all day.”

Spike took off his apron and brought his own breakfast over to sit next to Stone. “Like what?” the little dragon asked while dousing his food in syrup, “Like a job or something?” he stuck a fork full of fluffy goodness in his mouth.

“Something like that.” Walter hummed before taking another bite. “I'm just not used to not doing something.”

Spike groaned in ecstasy before swallowing the gem encrusted bite. “Well, I think it's harvest season at Sweet Apple Acres. Maybe Applejack has something you can do?” he helpfully supplied, taking another bite of flapjack.

“Farm work?” Stone thought to himself, idly prodding at his food. “Couldn't be a whole lot different than landscaping…” he nodded to himself, taking another bite. “Yeah, that actually sounds pretty good. At least I can still do menial labor.”

“Hey, good idea Spike,” Vault finished off his breakfast. “I'll bring it up with Twilight. Maybe Applejack won't kick my face in this time.”

They both laughed. Vault was glad he could joke about it now, but at the time it really hurt! No matter how much bigger or stronger he may or may not be, that was one experience Walter was not keen to repeat.

At that time, Twilight walked into the kitchen, her mane somewhat brushed. “Good morning.” she yawned out, her eyes barely open.

“Well speak of the purple devil…” Stone began. “I was meaning talk to you.” he rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

“Coffee first, talk after.” Twilight mumbled, pouring herself a steaming cup of joe. As soon as the dark ambrosia touched her lips, she seemed to come alive. Vault swore he could see some her hair spontaneously straighten out. “Much better!” she gasped out, her voice much more bright and cheery. “Now, what did you want to talk about?” she asked, sitting next to Stone and levitating a short stack over in front of her.

“Two things,” Vault held up two fingers, Twilight still wasn't sure how she felt about the stubby appendages. “Do you want the good news, or the bad news first?” he stated.

“Well…” Twilight cast a curious gaze at Stone. “In the books I read on social norms, one typically inquires about the bad news first, most likely to insure the interaction ends on a positive note.” Twilight nodded her head slowly, “Uhh… bad news?”

“I broke the wall in the shower.” Walter stated, his tone even and straight forward.

“Oh, well just be more careful closing the door next time.” Twilight replied, “I know you're not used to our fixtures yet, but…”

“Not the shower wall,” Vault interrupted, “The actual wall, the one made of purple crystal.” he added, his eyes still locked on Twilight's face.

Her face paled slightly, “T-the crystal!?” Twilight asked, astonished. “B-but the kinetic force required to even chip it…” Her mane began to fall out of place. Even Spike gave him an incredulous stare.

“However!” Walter quickly interjected. “I have decided to go find work! You know, get out into the world. Meet people, er, ponies. Make friends!” He gave Twilight the most plastic smile he could manage. “Don’t freak out, don’t freak out, don’t freak out!”

The mention of Friendship seemed to grant a momentary reprieve from the patented “Twilight Intellectual Tantrum,” or “TIT” for short.

“Oh! Ok, that sounds like a great idea!” Twilight enthusiastically agreed. Both Walter and Spike could swear they hear the sound of fuse being snuffed out. “Do you have any ideas? Would you like me to help you make a checklist?” She asked, stars in her eyes.

“No no,” Stone held out his hands, attempting to get some space between him and the oddly excited turbo-nerd. “I was just going to ask Applejack if she needed help with the harvest.” Twilight visibly deflated. If she was outside, she would have probably melancholically kicked a rock. “Curse her adorableness! Who could say no to that face?” Walter sighed. “But if that doesn’t work out, we could always make one later?” he offered.

Just like that, Twilight’s smile was back, clopping her hooves together excitedly. “Ok! I’ll go prepare the ink and parchment, just in case!” The purple princess leaped out of her chair and galloped off to parts unknown.

“Twilight!” Spike called after her, “You forgot your breakfast!” he sighed. “Well, I guess I’ll just bring it to her.” Spike climbed out of his chair and retrieved Twilight’s pancakes. “Good luck with Applejack!” he called, pushing open the door with his tail.

“Thanks Spike!” Vault called back, watching as the tiny dragon waddled away. “Now that’s over…” he puffed out a relieved sigh. The whole wall thing would probably come back to bite him later, but for now, he had an apple farmer to find.

Seeing as it was getting a little late in the morning, she’d probably be in the marketplace by now. At least, Twilight had said the Apple family sold their produce at market most days. Even if she wasn’t there, he could probably find someone, sorry, somepony, who knew where she was. Well… if anypony was willing to talk to him anyway.

“Welp!” Walter slapped his thighs, standing. “A journey of a thousand miles, begins with a single step.” So, he took that first step into truly finding a place for himself in this crazy new world.

Baloney

“This was a bad idea.” Vault thought, forlornly. Everyo-pony was staring at him, but it's not like he could blame them. He was a weird alien that wore too many clothes and spoke whatever they called English around here. Still, Walter had never enjoyed being the center of attention, especially this kind of attention.

On his way to the market place, Vault passed by a building that looked like a giant gingerbread house. It had a pleasant smell coming from inside, but it was a little too… “saccharine?” for his tastes. It didn't take more than his shadow to fall across one of the windows, before he was accosted by sentient bubble gum.

“Stoney-Baloney!” the clinging mass of curls and giggles shouted up at him. “I never got the chance to give you my “Welcome to Ponyville” song!” she slowly began to climb up his leg.

Vault grabbed the jolly baker, holding her up by the armpits. Were they armpits? Foreleg-pits? Pony terminology is weird. What was also weird was how light they are. Even though the giggling pink puffball he was holding at arm's length was about the size of a 10 year old, she weighed significantly less, like she was made of styrofoam or something.

Walter shot an interrogating glance at Pinkie Pie, the party pony seemingly unaware of his scrutinizing gaze.

“Who told you about bologna?” his voice cautiously low.

“I said “baloney” not “bologna” silly!” Pinkie corrected.

“Wait, what?” he balked, “You can hear the difference in my pronunciation?” his stare turned incredulous.

“Of course not!” she laughed good-naturedly, “I just read the different spelling!”

“Oh, well that makes…” he stopped mid sentence. Vault.exe has encountered a problem, and needs to reboot.

“Boop!” Pinkie stretched out and poked Walter on the nose. He shook his head, trying to recover his hold on reality. He then carefully set the pink paradox down, like she was a box of wet dynamite.

“Well, as fun as this has been Panko, I've got to go see a pony about a man.” he cautiously backed away. “Maintain eye contact! She can't move as long as you're looking at her!” he frantically thought.

Pinkie Pie stuck out her bottom lip and her large, expressive eyes misted up.

“B-but I didn't get to sing the welcome song.” Her lip quivered, sniffling as she worked herself up.

“Hnnnnng!” Vault nearly doubled over from pure adorableness. “Why am I such a sucker for baby blues?” He put up his hands in a placating gesture. “Okay, Okay Pinkie!” he half-shouted. “I'm a little busy right now, but how about later?”

Something seemed to click for the Ponyville’s premiere party planner. She gasped with such force, Walter was afraid she might collapse a lung.

“That's perfect!” she yelled out. “I can setup your “Welcome to Ponyville” party and sing you the song!”

“Oh boy.” Stone slapped his face. “Yeah Pinkie, that sounds perfect.” he deadpanned. “Great, another chance to get paraded around in front of these people.”

“See you later~” she called out in a sing-songy voice. Before vanishing in a puff of sugary smoke.

“Don't question it” Walter slowly backed toward the marketplace. “Just pretend that's normal, you're normal. Be normal!” Vault turned around, began extending his legs as far as they would go, and went on his merry way.

The best way to be abnormal, is to try way to hard to be normal. Stone realized this when he was getting way more stares than he should have. Then again, maybe taking giant steps and swinging your arms like a jiving cartoon character isn't exactly normal.

“You're blowing it!” he admonished himself. He made it to the marketplace just as he realized how much of an ass he was making of himself. “Yeah, you *totally** need Pinkie’s help to make a spectacle of yourself.” Vault was considering going back to the castle and locking himself up forever when he saw a brown stetson atop a blond mane. “Oh thank horse god.*” he exhaled sharply, getting his awkward spasms under control. “Hello Applejack!” he called out in the friendliest manner he could.

Applejack quickly turned her head in the direction of his call. Her features briefly flashed confusion, surprise, then anger, before settling on a smile. None of this was missed by Vault.

“Well, hello yerself Stone!” she returned his greeting warmly. “What brings you to market this early in the day?”

“Might as well get this over with…” he thought bitterly. “I'm actually here to see you.” He replied uncomfortably, scratching the back of his head. “Spike mentioned something about harvest season?” he put forth.

Applejack immediately opened her mouth to shoot him down, but thought about it for the moment. It was true she could use the help, but...

“Ya’ll ever work on a farm before?” she asked.

“Didn't tell me to get lost, good sign.” Walter smiled weakly. “No, but I did do a lot of manual labor back home. Digging, hauling, simple construction, that sort of thing.” he informed.

Applejack nodded, “Not bad…” she thought, “At least he isn't gonna be afraid of a little hard work.” She sized him up, scanning his body with her eyes. “Well, he ain't much to look at, but if he's half as strong as Twilight thinks he is…” she gave a half smirk. “Well, if’n you think you can handle it, come down to the farm tomorrow mornin’. You do remember where that is, right? Or did I rattle yer noggin too much last time?” she couldn't resist needling him a little.

“Oh, ha ha” he sarcastically thought. “Yeah, I remember. Your hospitality certainly made an impression though.” he replied with a straight face. “I still can't stand directly behind one of you ponies.”

Applejack tried in vain to contain her guffaw, her lips wiggling as she desperately tried to hang on. A short silence passed, before the both of them let out a few quiet chuckles.

“Okay, Ah probably deserved that.” she admitted. “Yer alright, partner. See you tomorrow?”

“You betcha.” Stone smiled. As Vault turned to wander back to Twilight’s, he couldn't help but feel like he was forgetting something. He immediately remembered when he turned a corner and the life-size gingerbread house came into view. “Oh no…” he said aloud, “Pinkie.”

“You called?” a sinister giggle whispered in his ear. Walter was ready to scream when a bag went over his head. “Surprise!” the pink demon yelled.

When he breathed in the sickly sweet air of the sack on his head, Walter became dizzy. “Pinkie?” he asked, his words slurring. “Did you… drug me?” Vault fell to his knees.

“Shhhhh….” her warm breath was on his left ear. “Just lay back, and think of...Friendship.” she gently chided.

“Super yay.” Walter thought, the world slowly slipping away from him. “Hello darkness, my old friend.”

Pinkie stared at the unconscious giant for a moment. “You think that was a bit too much?” she said aloud.

“Nah.” replied Rainbow Dash, an empty jar of Zecora’s Sleepytime Powderᵗᵐ in her hoof. “Look how big he is, he’ll be fine.”

“How'd ya get that from Zecora anyway?” Pinkie asked, shifting Stone onto a waiting cart.

“I told her I needed it for a dangerous monster from the Everfree.” she replied nonchalantly. Pinkie shot her a dirty look. “What? I didn't exactly lie.”

Bologna

Walter awoke with a groan. His head was spinning, like he had just gotten off the tilt-a-whirl. He blinked the fog from his eyes and saw he was currently sitting in the middle of a brightly colored room. Lots of pink and yellow, with balloon’s and streamers everywhere. From the large windows he could see the sun was already going down.

“Great.” Vault thought, “An entire day wasted, at least I'll get to see what the nightlife is like in this world.” he tried to lift his arms, only to discover he was tied to his chair. “Oh for all… Pinkie!” he yelled, “What kind of welcoming is this!?”

Walter’s heart skipped, a cold chill rolling down his spine, when he heard the distinct rasp of metal on metal.

“Welcome, welcome, welcome…” Pinkie’s singing was soft, quiet, and difficult to pinpoint, like it was coming from everywhere at once. The rasp of metal continued. Like she was… dragging something? “A fine welcome to you…” she continued, her voice growing closer.

“P-Pinkie!?” Vault stuttered, “This isn't funny!” he tried to sound tough, utterly failing.

“Welcome, welcome, welcome...” her menacing sing-song continued. The sound of metal on metal growing in volume. “I say, how do you do?” Vault knew he had heard that sound before, but his mind was too busy trying to figure out how he got in this situation.

“What the fuck!?” Walter panicked internally, “She seemed so nice, they all did!” Then he had a chilling revelation. “Bologna…” he broke into a cold sweat, “That's how she knew about bologna.”

“Welcome, welcome, welcome…” a fluffy shadow appeared in the door frame. She was wearing an apron stained with dark red splotches. “I say hip, hip hooray.” That was the grinding noise, one he had heard so often in his childhood...

The sound of someone sharpening a blade.

“That's why there are no other humans!” Walter was so gripped by absolute, existential terror, he couldn't will his body to move. “Equestrian bologna is people!”

“Welcome, welcome,welcome!” Pinkie’s voice was filled with such manic jubilation, like a sadistic child who had just discovered ants with a magnifying glass. Her eyes dance with pure, psychotic joy, as she ceased her sharpening, only to raise the knife up…

“You won't take me, harpy!” Stone roared, his arms ripped apart the chair he was bound to.

“To Ponyville… uh oh.” Pinkie finished her song on a sour note. She was now face to face with an extremely upset looking human. “I told Dashie this was going too far!” Pinkie slowly took a few steps backward.

As if suddenly remembering he was super strong, Vault stood and tore his ankles free of the chair, rendering it a pile of broken wood. His fight or flight instincts had definitely kicked in, and they always chose fight.

“Rainbow Dash!” Pinkie yelled as the angry giant stared her down, “Help!” she backed up against the wall. Seconds later, the door was nearly blown off it's hinges by a polychromatic blur.

“Pinkie!? What's going…” Rainbow’s words died in her throat when she gazed on the scene. Pinkie was pushed into a corner, looking absolutely terrified, while Stone towered over her. Breathing heavily, he slowly turned his head, locking a single eye on the blue pegasus over his shoulder. Rainbow couldn't stop the shiver provoked by such a cold gaze. “Uhhh…” she scratched the back of her head. “Surprise?” she offered weakly.

Stone apparently didn't find the prank funny, because he let out a guttural roar and charged the cocky pegasus. Dash barely managed to dodge the freight train of rage, sending him sprawling into the hallway. Then through the opposite wall…

Vault managed to stop before he trampled Mr. And Mrs. Cake’s bed, but he showed no such difference to the wall between him and his target. He burst through the blue plaster wall, rushing toward the staircase his quarry was currently retreating down.

“I told you it was too much!” Pinkie yelled as she panic-pronked her way down to the first floor.

“How was I supposed to know he'd freak-out!?” Rainbow cried next to her. “Can't you take a joke!?” she yelled back toward their pursuer.

“A joke!?” he ruminated through the red static, “What kind of monsters make people into lunch meat as a joke!?” However, when he attempted to vocalize his indignation, all that came out was a furious screech.

The two ponies came screaming into the room, to the brief confusion of everypony gathered there. Confusion became panic when a furious Stone burst into the room, his head smashing through the upper door frame.

Thankfully, Pinkie hadn't invited half the town, it was mostly just her close friends. The poor Cakes however, could only look on in horror as the giant wrecked their main foyer. Rarity and Applejack quickly got the younglings out of harm's way, but Twilight was paralyzed with indecision, unable to use her magic on the human. Walter finally managed to corner Pinkie underneath a table packed high with party food. He swung his fist, smashing the table in two, and splattering himself with murdered confectionery.

A sudden unsettling calm stretched over Sugarcube Corner, as if all those present held their collective breath. Stone stared at the smashed table, breathing laboriously, before he seemed to slowly calm down. He blinked a few times in confusion, looking around as if he suddenly became aware of his surroundings.

“I just wanted to throw you a party…” Pinkie crawled out from underneath the ruined table, a gash on her forehead weeping blood at a steady pace.

“Pinkie!” Twilight cried, Rainbow Dash and her rushing to Pinkie’s aid. Vault surveyed the room, he didn't like what he saw.

Anger, he could handle. Even the fear he saw was something he could stomach. But no one here was mad at him, sure most wore expressions of fear, especially the children. No, what cut him deep was Twilight’s look of concern for him. Most of all Pinkie’s heart-broken tears tore at his soul.

“Pinkie… I,” Vault began, reaching out to her. Of course, she flinched away, as if he were about to strike her. Vault pulled his hand back, clenching it into a fist. “I...I’m sorry, I ruined everything.” he lowered his gaze in shame, only to see we was standing on a trampled banner. He shifted his foot to read the smudged text. “Welcome to Ponyville!” It said in big blue letters. “My bestest human friend, Stone Vault!” was written underneath. “I always ruin everything!” he shouted, clawing at his head.

“Stone?” Twilight squeaked out timidly. “It… It's okay, everything will be okay.” she tried to reassure the giant, unsure of what he'd do next. Walter stopped scratching at his face, a look of absolute horror and sorrow descended upon his face. Twilight took a hasty step backwards, like most of the others in the room.

“It’ll be okay Vault, everything vill be okay.” The words that haunted his nightmares played in his head, fresh as the fateful day he had heard them. The day he had ruined his life. The day he had ruined everything.

Vault screamed in terror, scrambling away from Twilight like she was some eldritch abomination. He fell down on his rear, scrambling backwards until he hit the wall. His breathing was erratic, he was shaking like he was freezing, and then he released a pathetic whine. “S-stay away.” he stammered out.

“Stone… Vault… I don't know what's going on,” Twilight pleaded with the quivering wreck of a person, “but please, let me help you.” she made the mistake of taking a step forward.

“No!” he screamed like a terrified child, before leaping to his feet and running away. He barreled through the front door like he was on fire. His newfound strength translating to a much faster running speed.

“Vault!” Twilight cried, “Rainbow! Go after him! We can't leave him like this, but don't go near him!” the princess barked out her orders.

“Uhh… On it!” Dash quickly recovered and bolted out the splintered door.

As everyone started moving about, some to assess the damage, others to plan the next move, Twilight attended to Pinkie’s head wound. “Oh Vault…” she moaned quietly, “What happened to you?”

Walter Stoneman was in a dead sprint, passing like a blur for the confused citizens of Ponyville. He had no plans to stop, not until his lungs exploded or his heart gave out. Walter was now convinced he had been killed by that truck, and that this was hell. He couldn't escape from what he'd done, and he was still being punished for it.

“Haven't I suffered enough!?” he screamed to the heavens. “Wasn't my shitty life punishment enough!?” as fatigue set in, he began to slow down. “Just… Just let me die in peace.” he begged. “I just want it to end...” he slowed to a stop. He was somewhere in the middle of the everfree. He panted for breath, surrounded on all sides by hostile jungle, hopelessly lost.

It would seem he may just get his wish.

Harmony

Walter stumbled through the underbrush, trying in vain to find his way back. Now that he had time to calm down and think, he mulled over the events of the last hour.

“What the hell were you thinking!?” Vault scolded himself, “What is wrong with you?” For the first time in a long time, Walter began to question his own sanity. “What the fuck was that about bologna!?” he pushed his way through some stubborn branches. “Are you insane!? Not *once** did you see anypony eat any meat at all! Not even Spike!*” as he pushed through the last of the thicket, he came upon a large ruin of some kind. “What is going on with me?” he mumbled aloud, gazing in awe at the dilapidated structure.

The ruined structure was massive, and made primarily of stone. It reminded him of an old medieval castle, like you'd find in Scotland or something back on Earth. It looked like it had been abandoned for ages, yet somehow it stood intact enough to leave an impression of it's obviously glorious past.

Walter felt drawn to the castle, like he was always meant to find it. His feet moved forward almost without his conscious thought. However, his progress was soon impeded by a yawning gorge, crossable only by a long since fallen rope bridge. Looking around, he found a staircase nearby, one that was carved right out from the cliff face. He could also see a large cave opening underneath the castle, maybe he could get in over there?

Figuring he'd much rather be in a castle, even a wrecked one, over alone in the forest at night, Vault slowly made his way down the cliff side. He pressed his body as close to the wall as he could, even with super strength he wasn't willing to gamble on a long fall. As Walter got closer to the bottom, he felt… calmer. Almost as if he was leaving the dangerous forest behind, and entering some kind of sanctuary. Vault had never been a religious man, but this was how he imagined walking into an old church felt, like you could feel the hallowed ground beneath your feet. He made it to the bottom, and in the dying light of the day, made the trek across the gorge.

As the sun finally vanished and night set in, Stone walked into the cave and saw it. A massive crystal… tree? He walked towards it, entranced by it, and reverently ran his fingers along the crystalline surface. As soon as he did, it was like a shock of static, and he jerked away from it. But something was different now, like a buzzing sound he had heard all his life had stopped, something he only realized was there by its sudden absence.

It was like a pressure was lifted from his shoulders, a burden he had carried all his life was momentarily lifted. He wanted to laugh, to celebrate, but he couldn't. With freedom came clarity, the bitter realization of what his life could have been. And for the first time since he came to Equestria, he mourned the loss of his old life. He let go of his feigned indifference, his pretending that nothing phased him. With no fear of judgment, embarrassment, or loss of control, he cried. For the first time in years, Walter let himself weep, bitter tears of loss. He  curled up underneath the strange cave tree, and quietly sobbed.

Celestia was exhausted, she'd normally be in bed by now, getting her beauty sleep in preparation for the next day. However, when Twilight had sent a letter about their guest, she knew she couldn't sleep until he was found. The search had proven difficult, as Rainbow Dash had lost him somewhere in the Everfree. That posed a problem. The Everfree was dangerous enough during the day, she couldn't risk sending her ponies in there at night. So, she had extended sunset as long as possible, while the pegasi had scoured all the territory they could. Twilight had co-opted the help of her zebra friend, Zecora, as she was something of an expert on the forest.

When Celestia could not keep the sun up any longer, she lowered it with no small amount of anxiety. They would have to wait until morning to continue the search. However, she received some good news from Zecora. The zebra had located signs of passage, something large, tall, and clearly not native to the area. If he kept going in the same direction, he would most certainly stumble across the old castle. Of course, Twilight and her friends volunteered to go into the forest at night. While Celestia couldn't stop them, she did ask them to be safe.

Now, it was all about waiting. Celestia had faith that no harm would come to any of them, but she still could not relax until she knew for sure they were safe. To take her mind off of it, and to see if anything new was learned, she went to go speak to her sister.

When Celestia entered Luna’s room, she found the younger sibling still asleep on her bed. She was momentarily irked that her sister could sleep at a time like this, but quickly pushed such irrational thoughts aside. How else was Luna supposed to dream walk, if not in her dreams? So the elder sister sat down on one of her favorite cushions, intent to wait for her sibling to stir.

As it would turn out, she wouldn't have to wait long. A just as Celestia began to nod off, her head slowly drifting lower and lower, Luna awoke with a start.

“One thousand Tartarian damnations!” the moon princess yelled as she sat up. Celestia snorted loudly in surprise.

“Ahh! Luna!” Celestia exclaimed, wiping her cheeks to see if she had been drooling, “What did you discover?” she quickly recovered.

“That is exactly the problem sister!” Luna fumed, “For a creature who has spent an inordinate amount of time in our fair land unconscious, we have yet to peer into his dreams.” she pouted.

“Maybe Stone’s species doesn't dream like ponies do?” Celestia offered.

“Nay, sister.” Luna sighed deeply. “We can feel the turmoil of his nightmares as acutely as any other, he calls out for help.” Luna looked to Celestia, so that maybe she would understand the gravity of her words. “We can see the doorway to his mind, but we cannot enter it.”

“But why?” Celestia was shocked. Not once had she heard of any creature, short of Discord, being able to resist Luna’s dream walking outright.

“Because something else is holding it shut.”

Sunshine

The light of a fresh dawn spilled through the gaps in the old wooden barn, a few beams of which found their way onto the face of one Walter Stoneman. Vault began to stir, roused by the rather rude sun beams on his face. Without opening his eyes, he felt something soft and warm in his arms. Well, this was slightly embarrassing, he couldn't remember the last time he fell asleep with a plushy.

The morning no longer content to be denied, Walter slowly opened his eyes. Only to be met with a vision of the sun.

“Wow, Mr. Sun” he began, groggily, “I don't know if I've ever seen you so… big before.” he rubbed his eyes with one hand, the other still tightly around his cuddly toy. “Or so… oddly perfect.” he continued, his voice growing confused.

As the haze of sleep began to leave him, he examined this new celestial body more closely. It almost seemed close enough to touch, so warm and inviting. But most of all, he couldn't understand why it looked so perfect. Not in an absolute way, but in the way it couldn't possibly be natural. Yellow in the center, with orange “arms” extending outwards. It looked like something from a picture book, or the surface of an ancient vase.

“Well aren't you a charmer.” giggled a feminine voice from somewhere nearby. In that instant Vault was wide awake. His head snapped in the direction of the voice, only to see the gently smiling face of the prettiest horse he had ever seen.

Her coat was a pristine white, her mane was a cold rainbow of color, almost like the Aurora Borealis. Her gentle violet eyes danced with mirth, belied by only by the razor sharp two foot horn perched just above them. Walter followed the line of her graceful neck to her slender body and swan-like wings. His gaze finally settled on the odd sun he greeted just moments before, which rested on her rather shapely hindquarters.

That was her butt.

He had just been speaking to a horse butt.

Thankfully, he wouldn't have to pray for a swift death, as the half dozen spears levied at his chest seemed prime to grant just such a request.

In that moment, everything came back to him, the truck, the wooden dogs, the hospital, orange apple butt, everything. He was snapped out of his reminiscing by a sudden struggling in his arms.

“Unhand the hostage, fiend!” cried out of of the ponies pointing a spear at him.

Vault looked down at the trembling little yellow pegasus in his arms. Her adorable face twisted in an expression of abject terror.

“Just like…” Vault’s thoughts began to drift, but he quickly shook off the specters of his past. He really hated that look, especially when he knew it was probably deserved.

Not wanting to make the situation worse, Vault relinquished his hold on the warm and fuzzy creature. She immediately scampered away, toward a group of other candy-colored equines on the other side of Sunbutt.

They gawked at him, faces filled with fear, anger, hate, or morbid curiosity. It made him feel like a monster, a beast that didn't belong. If one of those guards decided to stab him in his heart right now, Walter didn't think he would have minded at the moment.

Lady Sunbutt had since turned to face him. Where her eyes had once been filled with child-like joy, they now wore a look of deep concern. She opened her mouth to speak, but Walter cut her off.

“Those other guards,” he began, earning him some venomous glares from the pike-wielding ponies. “Are they hurt?” he asked, looking into the cerise eyes of the sun horse.

She smiled weakly at him, “Not severely,” she stated. “Private Stormy’s armor took most of the impact, he's being fitted for a replacement set as we speak.” Walter nodded, a sigh of relief escaping him. “Corporal Nightingale suffered a minor wing sprain, but should be back to work within the week.”

“Good, good,” Vault exhaled deeply, “So… what now?” he asked.

The white pegacorn looked at him with an almost motherly concern. “If this were Canterlot, you’d be hauled off to jail to await trial for attacking two guardsmen.” she stated.

"Great, prison" Vault ruminated, leaning back and resting his chin on his chest, "My favorite." He sighed, defeated and tired. “I suppose that doesn't surprise me.” he replied.

“However…” Lady Sunbutt began, the fairest twitch of mischief in her voice, “We are not, in fact, in Canterlot. Therefore, I divert to Princess Twilight’s judgement.”

“Wait, what?” the much smaller purple pegacorn quickly turned to face Lady Sunbutt. “Princess Celestia, what do you mean?” she asked.

This “Celestia” turned to address the smaller royalty, “Ponyville is under your jurisdiction Twilight, and as such his punishment is yours to decide.” she couldn't keep the faintest hint of a giggle out of her tone.

In contrast, the younger princess could barely contain her panic. “Ok Twilight, you can do this.” she mentally psyched herself up, “You've never sentenced a criminal before, but how hard could it be?”

Princess Twilight cleared her throat, “One million years, Tartarus!” she declared authoritatively. Only to be met by several shocked stares, and one of nearly painful amusement. “Ack!” Twilight mentally back pedaled, “Where did that come from!?”

“Uhhh… I mean,” Twilight foundered, “Let him go?” she stammered out. She was met by incredulous stares this time, and more than a few angry glares from the guardsponies. “Nope!” the little pony in her head screamed. “The opposite is just as bad!”

“No wait!” she cried out, “Think Twilight, think!” her brilliant mind scrambled for a solution. “I…” She was suddenly hit with the solution. “...will have him stay in the castle as a ward of the state.” she stated with confidence.

Celestia smiled at her former student, “I think that is a wonderful idea Twilight.” she then turned to her cadre of guards. “Well? You heard the princess.” she gently chided.

The guards begrudgingly lowered their weapons, but remained on guard, just in case the strange monster tried anything.

Well, it wasn't ideal, but unless purple princess had a weird S&M fetish for weird alien monkeys, Vault was pretty sure it was better than pony prison.

“Well Mr. Stone Vault? What do you say?” Princess Sunbutt spoke up again.

“Stone Vault, huh?” Walter thought, “I've had worse names.” He cleared his throat, “Princess Celestia, Princess Twilight?” he addressed the royal pair. “That sounds perfectly reasonable.” he managed to smile weakly at them.

And that was how Walter Stoneman began his new life in Ponyville.