“Is it working? Let me see here… Ah! Perfect! That little Princess really does know what she’s doing, eh? This country will definitely be safe in her hooves. Congratulations Princess Twilight Sparkle, you’ve just invented electricity on Equus!” Alexander smiled broadly into the camera. “So, after a long dry period, I’ve got everything back up and running, tools and everything!”
The human stood up, moving back two steps and widening his arms in excitement. The sudden movement caused a flare of white light, which subsided to show the gleaming stainless steel cabinets and trolleys around him. Alexander himself was dressed in a long apron that reached past his knees, and his hands and legs all bore thick, black rubber coverings. Moving back toward the camera, the light adjusted to show his face.
“So, now that everything is back up, I can get back into my groove!” His face became deflated, a switch so quick it was almost Pinkie-like. “I mean, it won’t be the same, being away from home and all, but surely there’s something interesting here, right? These ponies, they’ve got magic and wings and all sorts of different mannerisms and cultures. I didn’t expect such a warm welcome, I’ll be honest. Though unexpected, I also cannot deny that their friendly, outgoing demeanors have benefitted my work greatly.”
Alexander looked up again and his smile returned. “I want to dedicate this video, this work right here and now, to the good ponies of Equestria. Where everyone else turned me away and distrusted me, you all saw a light in me. Something different and special. You set me back on my own two feet, something that my world never even bothered to help me with.” Reaching down somewhere out of the camera’s view, he pulled back a transparent plastic shield with another plastic ring at one of its ends. Securing the plastic ring around his head, he smirked and slapped the plastic shield down over his face and stood up.
Alexander moved back slowly, taking one, then two steps, then five, before sliding out of the way. His arms shot to his left side as he moved offscreen, presenting something on a table before him. “Ta-da~” he sang off to the side. On the table was something grayish-purple, and Alexander moved to stand beside it. With one of his feet, he depressed a pedal at the bottom of the table, causing its surface to angle toward the camera.
“She was certainly hard to get, what with her mother and all. Seeing in two directions at once! Now that is a challenge I have never had to deal with before. All of those picnics and broken appliances really gave me the info I needed on that mare! You try sneaking up on something with eyes in the back of their head!” Dinky was on the table, her legs all strapped down by some fabric, splayed to her sides. “Thankfully, muffins were her weakness! A little sleeping potion mixed in with the batter and… BAM! Two for the price of a muffin and some Narcoleps Root.”
Reaching into the apron, Alexander retrieved a small pill and held it between his thumbs and forefingers. He extended his arms to Dinky’s nostrils and cracked the pill open, waving it near her muzzle for a few seconds before she coughed and opened her eyes. Dinky blinked a few times under the harsh light, then began to panic when she couldn’t move. All the while Alexander dropped the broken pill into a small plastic baggie and zipped it shut, stuffing the bag back into his apron. “Hello, Dinky,” he said sweetly.
The filly jerked and turned her head to her right, finally noticing the man. “Mister Beauregard? What are you doing?” Seeing him must have resolved some of her fear of being held captive. Alexander smiled warmly, patting Dinky’s head lovingly. “Why am I tied up, Mister Beauregard?”
“Oh, Dinky, don’t worry your little head at all!” Alexander turned around to grab a trolley, slowly wheeling it behind him. “We’re going to play a game! You like my games, don’t you?”
Dinky nodded. “Yeah! I like the one with the slides and the ladders! Oh, and I Spy!”
“Oh, you do? Did you know that where I come from, those were printed into books for good little fillies and colts? If you were in a room devoid of anything interesting, those books could save your sanity!” Alexander’s hands left the trolley and he began to gesture as he spoke. “You could find the same objects again and again, forever and ever and ever without ever getting bored! No one would visit you, or talk to you, or pleasantly remind you what a good person you were! You could just keep finding the same things over and over again, and everything would be all hunky dory!”
“Mi- Mister Beauregard? You’re scaring me,” Dinky said, now intimidated by the man’s erratic hand movements and increasing volume of speech.
“What? Oh, I’m sorry; I promised you a game, didn’t I?” Alexander watched the filly nod slowly. “Well, since you like I Spy so much, we’ll play that! Does that sound like a fun time to you?” Dinky nodded ‘yes’. Alexander again reached for the trolley behind him with his right hand. “Great! Okay, so let me find something for you to find, and then you tell me what I saw! Got it?”
“I remember how to play! You don’t have to treat me like a little filly!”
“Oh, yes, of course! I am so sorry Dinky, I just get so excited with these games, I can’t help myself. I just want to make sure everyone follows the rules, no matter what. You have to pick what I saw, not something else! Otherwise you lose the game!”
“I know!”
Alexander turned around and placed his elbow in his hand, theatrically thinking over the room. He moved his head this way and that, scanning the spotless cabinets and bright ceiling lights. Then he looked down, smiled, and turned around. “Okay, I’ve got it! Now, you’ve got three guesses, so pick ‘em right!”
“Okay, um… let’s see.” Dinky began to look around the room, mulling over the walls and ceiling. “Is it a water bottle?” she asked.
Alexander shook his head with an ecstatic smile on his face. “Nope. Two guesses left!”
“Hmmm.” Dinky took another look around the room, squinting when her gaze passed over the bright phosphorescent lights. “Is it… The light?”
“Uh-uh, now you’ve got only one guess left.” Alexander touched his nose with his left hand, smiling at the little filly on the table.
“One guess left, huh? Wow, Mister Beauregard, this one is hard.”
“If it was easy then why would I play, Dinky? It’s no fun if it’s easy!” Alexander giggled merrily with Dinky, tickling her stomach lightly. “So, think hard, you don’t wanna lose, do you?”
Dinky stiffened her upper lip and shook her head. “No,” she said with determination. Alexander smiled at this and waved his free hand over the room. Seeing this as her chance to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat, Dinky began to scour the room with her eyes, looking for any minute detail or any ephemeral meaning behind what she saw.
Her face brightened, her jaw set, and her eyes shone with victory as she stared Alexander in the eyes. “A pony!”
Alexander’s smile fell, his arms slackened, and his head slouched. Dinky smiled in her victory, cheering herself on, even with her legs strapped to the table. “Nope!” Alexander’s head shot back up with a wide smile, his eyes strained. “That wasn’t it~ Those are all three of your guesses, little missy!” Dinky’s defeat was palpable through her vocalization, and Alexander just chuckled. “Do you wanna see what it was that I saw?”
“Yeah! There isn’t all that much down here to pick from, you know!” Dinky’s frustrated frown met Alexander’s welcoming smile.
“Well, like I told you, I Spy is great even when you’re in a room without anything cool. So, do you really wanna see what I saw?”
“I already said yes!”
“Okay, okay,” Alexander said, his right arm tensing. “I’ll show you.” With a quick motion, Alexander’s gloved left hand grabbed the back of Dinky’s head, and his right hand slammed a scalpel straight through her right eye. “Did you find it?! Did you?” He pulled it out and slammed it inside the ruined sack again. A scream died as soon as it had begun.
“Find it again! Again! Again! Again! Again! Again! Over and over, again and again! Forever and ever! Find it! Find it! Find it! You can always find it!” Alexander broke down into a mania, stabbing the convulsing filly in the same eye repeatedly. “You lost the game! You used all three of your answers and you couldn’t find it! How could you not?! You spent years looking for them! Nobody ever bothered you! Nobody ever asked you if you were okay! Nobody cared! But you can still always find it!”
A click and a crackle of static met the viewers' ears. The television and video equipment, which had been alien to the Equestrians, was taken from Alexander’s home and studied after his arrest. The VCR tapes had taken some time to understand, but after careful study they learned how to play them.
The video was cut off by Princess Celestia, who sat, stunned by the video. Twilight was shaking, half in hysteria and half in anger. Luna stood facing the wall, ashamed of her tears. Nopony spoke, and only the hum of the VCR and the tick-tock of the clock dared to infringe on the solemn realization.
The human they had helped from the Everfree, who was so lost and helpless. The human that smiled and assisted everypony with any chores they may have needed. The selfless soul that would sacrifice his own time and peace of mind to teach the young ones about his world. He who had gained the trust of the Princesses and Ponyville.
Alexander Beauregard was a monster.
A monster with thirteen more tapes.
Author's Note
This is classified evidence belonging to the Royal Equestrian Secret Service and the Equestrian Crown and is under a Class-12 non-public viewership seal. This piece of evidence is not to be viewed by any individual/group without Class-12 security clearance or without Royal Permission. Attempts to retrieve this file by any individual/group without the proper authentification will be met with extreme legal penalty under the Crown of Equestria. Disregarding this penalty will be considered an act of treason, and treated thusly.
Signed by Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Princess Twilight with Class-12 identification.
