Derpy's muffins

by Fenton

Rating: everyone
Tags: Derpy Hooves, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, Mrs. Cake, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Mr. Cake
Length: 2072

Pinkie Pie tastes one of Derpy's muffins for the first time. And she isn't happy, she isn't happy at all.

Pinkie Pie has the opportunity to taste, for the first time, one of Derpy's muffins. But it is not what she has expected. Indeed, they are more than good and she is quite displeased by that. Will Twilight be able to calm her friend before she goes on an absurd rampage and prevent any incoming disaster?

Published 2016-10-18 19:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-10-18 19:30:01 UTC

A little slice of heaven with ice cream on top

Twilight put the last book in the bookshelf. Now that her desk was clean, she would be able to start her letter to Princess Celestia but it was without taking into account the sudden knock on her door. With a groan, she went for the door. She had barely started opening it when the door slammed against the wall. Fortunately, she managed to remove her hoof from the trajectory.

"Hey Twilight!"

"Pinkie. What a surprise!"

As annoying as the pink pony could be, Twilight wasn't bothered by her friend's visit. Her energy, her smile and her bouncing were always preventing anypony from being annoyed by her antics and Twilight wasn't an exception. In fact, she was happy to see her friend and her letter to her teacher was now already far from her concern.

"What's new?" she asked.

"Nothing much, the Cakes have decided to close the shop earlier and I told myself 'what could I do?' and then I decided 'Oooh, I should go visit one of my friend' but then I wondered 'Which friend? I have only an hour and a half and I have to choose', so I lost a couple of minutes to decide which one but then I remembered 'Hey, I haven't seen Twilight in a while' so I was about to come to the library thinking 'I hope the others won't be bothered that I didn't choose them, maybe I should send some apologies' but I didn't want to loose time anymore so here I am."

Twilight stared at her friend and then shook her head.

"Sorry Pinkie I've lost track after the Cakes closing the shop earlier."

"Meeh, it doesn't matter. What matters is that we have the rest of the afternoon for us, so what shall we do now?"

"Pinkie, it's half past six."

"Oooooooh, so I did lost some time after all." she said more to herself than to Twilight, looking around before laying eyes on the small basket next to the unicorn's desk. She gasped at what she saw inside.

"Where do those came from?" she asked with a sharp look.

"They're from Derpy. She wanted to thank me for helping her filly with her homework yesterday. Do you want o...?"

She didn't have time to finish her question, Pinkie having already grab one of the muffins from the basket. She ate it in one single bite.

"What do you think? They are pretty tasty, aren't they?" asked Twilight.

Pinkie's face went through many emotions and Twilight could only stare at her, trying to discern what was going through her friend's mind. She saw a mix of joy, anger, calmness, surprise, and determination at last. All ended with a small tear running down Pinkie's cheek.

"Pinkie?" tried Twilight. "Are you..."

Suddenly, Pinkie disappeared, leaving a pink cloud of smoke where she was the moment before. Once the cloud cleared, the lavender unicorn saw a small piece of paper gently falling.

Sorry Twilight, but there are extreme circumstances recently brought to my knowledge that require extreme measures. See you next time.

Pinkie Pie

Only her name was hoofwritten. That explained how she could have fled so fast.
She wondered what these extreme circumstances might be. Either they were silly things for common ponies that Pinkie was in the habit of overreacting to, or they weren't. In both cases, it couldn't end well. I should find wherever she went, thought Twilight.

"Hi BonBon. Mr Cake, Mrs Cake."

"Hi Mrs Hooves" greeted Mr Cake. "What does bring you here this late?"

"I was about to ask you the same" replied the crossed-eyed pegasus, "I got a note from Pinkie Pie that asked me to join her at SugarCube Corner, the sooner the better. It seemed important."

"I got the same note" added BonBon, looking expectantly at the Cake.

"Us too."

"Any ideas of what she want?" asked Derpy.

"You could say that after working with her for so many years, we could guess some of her antics by now" replied Mrs Cake. "We don't, she is still a mystery, like the first day we hired her."

"Well, there's only one way to find out" concluded BonBon, pointing at the entrance of the bakery.

The group entered but it was strangely dark, at least for Derpy and BonBon who were used to the opening hours and a full lighted store. Nothing was visible apart from the outlines of the counter and a large table sat in the middle of the room.

A sudden light came from it, blinding them and Pinkie Pie's voice was heard.

"Mr Cake, Mrs Cake to my right. BonBon, to my left. Mrs Hooves, stay where you are." Her tone was awkwardly serious and each of them complied, their mind clouded by this unusual situation and by the authority in Pinkie's voice.

"Now that everypony is sat, I declare the court of the sweets provider of Ponyville in session" she said while slamming a ladle on the table.

Her vision back to normal, at least in terms of brightness, Derpy noticed that Pinkie's mane was grey and different. It was equally dispatched on each side of her head and only curly at the end. She didn't have time to wonder why she hadn't her usual poofy mane though, as Pinkie carried on her speech.

"Mrs Hooves, you will answer of multiple charges. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?"

Twilight had wandered many streets of Ponyville before arriving in front of Sugarcube Corner. Her worry had kept on growing since she had left her library in search for her friend. What she was up to couldn't be very good.

Even if Pinkie was capable of quickly dealing with her emotions, this swiftness meant that she didn't act like everypony else. If she was mad at somepony, it wouldn't last long but this pony should be prepared for a forty five seconds yelling on average firstly, and a bone-crushing hug as an apology then. Remembering the profuse and strong emotions she had seen on her Pinkie's face, her worry for her friend's sake, or anypony else involved in one of her passing phase grew even more.

She heard a voice while she was passing the bakery and recognized her friend's voice but something seemed odd in its tone. Relieved to have finally found her, Twilight entered the shop.

The room was darkened except for the mailmare who was bathed in light and in a middle of a familiar series of moves with the speech which went with it.

"Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick..."

"Stop!" screamed Twilight.

Caught by the unicorn's interruption, Derpy stoped the swear, her heart skipping a beat by the sudden shout.

"How dare you interrupt the course of the court citizen?" asked Pinkie.

"Pinkie? What are.you.DOING?" she shouted even if she didn't want to.

"I'm judging the actions of Mrs Hooves right here" she replied.

"This is ridiculous Pinkie" said Twilight. She cast a quick telekinesis spell on the light switch to her right. The room was now bright and she saw that Pinkie didn't only drag Derpy in this but also the Cake and BonBon. "I don't know what you were thinking but you have no right to frighten that poor mare with silly accusations" she added, staring coldly at her friend without seeing that Derpy wasn't frightened, except by Twilight's entrance and that she looked more curious than anything.

"Silly? This is serious Mrs Sparkle. Mrs Hooves is hereby charged of carelessness towards Ponyville's inhabitant."

"Wh... what?"

"Mr Cake, please note that Twilight Sparkle will be heard as a witness" said Pinkie to her employer who quickly wrote it on the parchment in front of him. She then got her eyes back on the unicorn. "Now Mrs Sparkle, some evidences tells us that you had the opportunity to taste Mrs Hooves' muffins, correct?"

"Yes but..."

"How did they taste?"

"They were nice but I don't see..."

"Nice? NICE?" she repeated before shaking her head, answering Derpy's past question about her mane, some flour falling from it. She then jumped over the table and reached Twilight, grabbing her head in both of her front hooves. "NICE? Twilight, these muffins aren't NICE, they are very very very super-duper tasty; they are great, perfect; it's a little slice of heaven at each bite; they aren't any single muffin that could match the softness, the lightness, the melting once in the mouth. Everything is boring, dull and grey, you take a small bite from one of these and then everything is now colorful, full of joy and, to borrow some Dash's words, awesome. Even I can't match them."

Twilight could only kept her eyes on her friend's until BonBon's voice broke the silence.

"Pinkie, I think she got it. But I don't and I guess I'm not the only one here. Unlike you two, we didn't taste Mrs Hooves' muffins. And I don't see how they can be used as evidences against her, especially if they are as good as you claim."

"It's simple" she replied, going back to her sit at the table. She sat and glared at Derpy. "As the presiding judge, I accuse Mrs Hooves of having denied to Ponyville's inhabitants the sweet taste of her delicious muffins." She slammed again the ladle. "This crime deserves a sentence."

"Pinkie, do you hear what you are saying?" asked Twilight. "Don't you think you got a little carried away by envy?"

"Envy? What for?"

"That you can't reproduce them."

Pinkie froze at her friend's guess. "Yes I envied her Twilight, but that was more than an hour ago. It's in the past now. Before you interrupted us, I was about to find a way to get these muffins for everypony to enjoy. This cause overtake any feeling I could have. Derpy" she added, turning to the grey mare and letting her formal tone and manners behind, "I beg you to provide your treats to Ponyville by either coming to work with one of us or by opening your own bakery."

"Couldn't she give you her recipe?" tried the unicorn.

She didn't expect that her question would make Pinkie laughed. It had started slowly but she was now having an uncontrollable fit of laughter, rolling on the floor and the flour that had previously fallen from her mane. After a moment, she quieted down, dried her tears for having laughed so hard and rose.

"Twiii-ilii-ight" she said, "this is cute that you think pastry cooking can be reduced to a simple formula. Please, let the professionals handle the situation." she added, petting her friend's head. "You can't resume everything to..."

"Actually" interrupted Derpy, "I use some salty clouds from Cloudsdale."

Everypony had turned to the mailmare who had kept quiet the whole time and seemed astonished by her own audacity, and stared blankly at her. For her part, Twilight couldn't prevent a small smile of satisfaction to appear.

After a few minutes of awkward silence, Pinkie cleared her throat. "Hmm... Sorry?"

Pinkie had invited all of them to the restaurant as an apology. The late evening meal had been a delight and everyone was chatting while the drowsiness of digestion was easing the minds.

"I should try adding some of those clouds to my sweets someday" said BonBon to Derpy. "I can't believe yet that you could add clouds in a preparation. Well, it's not that surprising, as earth ponies, we think as expected. And Pinkie was right about one thing, now that I have tasted them, your muffins are wonderful."

"Thank you" she replied. "But tell me, do I have to expect other shenanigans from Pinkie?"

"You should be at rest on that score, at least regarding your muffins."

"If you say so. But, did you have to face the same thing?"

Bonbon let a nervous snort before replying. "You don't want to know."

Author's Note

A silly one-shot that came to my mind a while ago, when I was rewatching Pinkie's Pride.
Some minor inspiration come from this story by Sharp Quill. If you haven't read it, go read it, it's funny and well crafted (better than this one).

By the way, this story haven't been proofread so if you find grammar or spelling mistakes, feel free to point them out.