Just Girls Talking Dirty

It was a warm Thursday night in April. Applejack had hurried home after school to handle a load of backed up chores; after she was done, she was too tired to go do anything with her friends, and most of them were busy with their own things in any case, so she sat in the living room with her sister. Both of them were bored, so they'd gotten out the family dominos and were playing while half-watching some old TV show at low volume. Granny was already asleep upstairs, and Big Mac had not yet returned home from an errand that was an hour's drive both ways.

As Applejack laid a domino on the table, she let out a sigh, pressing one cheek into the palm of a propped-up hand.

"Whut's th' matter, Applejack?" Apple Bloom asked.

Applejack looked at her, frowned, then shook her head. "Ain't nothin' you need t' worry about," she said.

"Oh, come on, Applejack," Apple Bloom said. "You can tell me."

Applejack's brow furrowed as she studied her dominos. "Well," she said pensively, "t' speak th' plain truth, lately Ah been kinda..." She blushed. "Well, let's jes' say Ah wouldn't mind borryin' one or two of Rarity's trashy books an' takin' a long bath with some'a that fancy toilet water."

"Ooooh," Apple Bloom drawled, a smirk crossing her face. "You mean you're horny."

Applejack grimaced, but shrugged. "Yeah, some," she said.

"So just get laid," Apple Bloom said as she made her next play. "Ah mean, ain't no reason not to."

"There's plenty reason not to!" Applejack retorted in disbelief. "Why, there's—"

"You jes' don't want to 'cuz it ain't th' country way," Apple Bloom said. "Except it kinda is. Heck, it's been th' country way longer'n it's been th' city way, Granny had her first kid when she was sixteen—"

"Alright, alright," Applejack groaned, throwing her hands up. "Fact of th' matter is there ain't a dang boy at CHS whut even looks at me like that. At least, ain't none Ah've seen."

Apple Bloom frowned, her brow furrowing. "Really? 'Cuz Ah git hit on a lot."

"So Ah've heard," Applejack muttered.

Apple Bloom studied her dominos. "Maybe it's 'cuz'a them girls you hang out with?"

"Whaddya mean?" Applejack asked.

"Well," Apple Bloom said slowly, "thing about boys is, they got types they like, y'know? An' it's like...yeah, okay, hard-workin' farm girl with a nice body an' a tan an' freckles an' all, that's sure enough a type guys like, but..." She started ticking off points on her fingers. "Then you got th' hot jock girl, th' hot nerd girl, th' shy pretty girl with big titties, th' high-falutin' type Rarity is, th'...oh, what was that Button called it?" She pursed her lips. "Somethin' Neighponese. Gain key girl or whutever? Ah reckon it means crazy party girl, so that's Pinkie, and then you got Sunset, an' she looks like she walked right outta one'a them old rock an' roll videos from th' 80s." She gestured expansively. "Ah mean, you got like...a whole anime harem of friends there."

Applejack blinked. "Huh," she said. "So what you're sayin' is...compared t' mah friends, Ah'm...boring?"

"No, not..." Apple Bloom started, then stopped and shrugged. "Well...yeah actually."

Applejack sat back, processing this. "Huh," she said. She looked at Apple Bloom dubiously. "But hold up. You're a down-home country girl jes' like me, so how is it you got boys drippin' off you like cheap jewelry?"

Apple Bloom coughed, her cheeks heating up. "This ain't about me, now, is it?" she said. "Besides, only real competition Ah got fer boys is Sweetie Belle an' Silver Spoon."

Applejack frowned. "Okay, so...if'n, let's suppose, Ah was even wantin' t' git laid, how'n th' blue hell am Ah supposed t' git 'er done if Ah'm so boring no boy's gonna look twice at me?"

Apple Bloom shrugged. "Well, it's simple," she said. "You look around for a guy you'd wanna take a roll in th' hay with, you go up to 'im, an' you say 'hey, Ah wanna fuck, you in?'"

Applejack pulled a face. "Now come on, Apple Bloom," she said sourly.

"Ah mean it!" Apple Bloom retorted. "That's all you gotta do! Jes' grab a guy you like, take 'im aside, ask 'im to plow yer field!"

Applejack raised an eyebrow. "It's that simple, huh."

Apple Bloom blushed and ducked her head. "W-well...that's...y'know..." She coughed. "Think Ah'm gonna grab that drink now..."

"Hey, you git back here!" Applejack cried as Apple Bloom practically ran to the kitchen. When she was gone, Applejack sighed, blowing upward on her bangs. "Dang it all, that girl..." She shook her head. "Well, long as Granny don't catch 'er." She looked at the television, not really seeing it, her mind's eye staring off into the distance.

"Jes' ask, huh...?"

* * * * *

"'Jes' ask' mah ass," Applejack muttered as she sat down heavily at the Rainbooms' table in the cafeteria on Friday.

Her friends blinked at her.

"Just ask your ass what?" Pinkie asked. "Oh! Is this some new magic? Do you have a Magic Ass-Ball?"

Rainbow snickered. "Maybe we're supposed to ask her ass what the cafeteria's serving today!"

Sunset slapped them both upside the head. "What's eating you, Applejack?"

"Whut's eatin' me is ain't nobody wants t' eat me," Applejack said sourly as she opened her drink. Twilight pulled a spittake and had to pound at her chest for a moment. The rest of the girls stared at Applejack, puzzled.

"...come again?" Rainbow asked.

"Ah ain't even come th' one time, that's th' problem," Applejack muttered.

"Umm..." Rarity said, holding up a slim white finger. "I..." She sighed, dropping her head. "Got nothing."

"Umm..." Fluttershy piped up hesitantly, "is this about you grabbing random boys in the hallway all morning and asking them to have sex with you?"

Heads slowly turned from Fluttershy to Applejack.

"WHAT?!" Sunset cried.

Applejack winced. "Ah got some bad advice from mah little sis, alright? Ah jes'..." She played with her spork. "Ah wanna git mah field plowed, but ain't nobody offerin'."

Rainbow laughed in disbelief. "You?! You want to have sex."

Applejack frowned at her. "Yeah, so?"

Rainbow shook her head. "Sorry, it's just...you want to have sex."

"Whut's so wrong about that?"

"Absolutely nothing, darling," Rarity said, giving Rainbow Dash a vicious glare. "But...perhaps your, ah...method needs refinement."

"I don't really think that's the problem," Sunset said. At that moment, one of the boys in the Drama Club walked past their table. She reached out and caught him by the sleeve. "Hey," she said. "You, me, the east wing supply room after school. Anything goes but anal. You in?"

The boy's eyes widened, and a flush took over his face. "H-hell yeah I'm in," he said.

As he walked away, his gait halting, Sunset smirked at her friends, raising an eyebrow pointedly at Rarity.

Rarity coughed. "Y-yes, well...that may work for you, darling, but—"

"Umm, excuse me," Fluttershy said to another boy who passed by, playing with her hair. "If you meet me under the bleachers on the soccer field after school, I'll give you a blowjob."

"I'll be there," the boy said before going on his way.

"Ahem, yes, well," Rarity said, staring at Fluttershy in disbelief. "Be that as it may, it simply isn't that—"

Twilight wrote something down in her notebook and tore off a sheet of paper. She got up and walked over to the table where most of the mathletes hung out. After speaking to them for a minute, she returned, slightly red-faced.

Sunset raised an eyebrow. "What was that all about?"

"I told them the first one to solve the equation I gave them and text me the correct answer can touch my boobs."

Her phone started buzzing like crazy.

Rarity sighed. "I give up," she said, giving Applejack a pained grimace. "Sorry, darling, but...it appears it is that simple."

Applejack's head thumped against the table. "Great," she muttered. "So it's me."

Rainbow Dash, for her part, was looking around the table like her friends were all crazy. "Did...did you just promise sex to random guys just to prove a point?"

The girls looked at each other. "Pretty much," Sunset said.

"Umm...yes?" Fluttershy said, blushing.

"I just wanted to see if that would even work," Twilight admitted, her face flushed. "But...I guess I'm okay with the results?"

"So whut's th' dang problem?" Applejack thundered suddenly, throwing up her arms. "If it's that easy for a gal t' get laid around here, how am Ah comin' up a big ol' goose egg?"

A pointed cough intruded on their conversation. They all looked up into the stern face of Principal Celestia.

"Girls," Celestia said quietly, "you do understand I'm running a school here, not a brothel, right?"

The girls gulped nervously. "Y-yes, Principal Celestia," they all said.

"Then I would appreciate if you would all not cause a scene like you've been doing," Celestia said firmly. As the girls looked away in shame, she sighed and leaned close. "I know girls your age have needs. I was your age once. Luna could tell you some...interesting stories, if not for the fact that I would probably strangle her. But whatever choices you make about certain things...please make them carefully and don't...broadcast them to the whole school, alright?"

"Yes, Principal Celestia," the girls chorused, shamefaced.

"Very well then. Consider this a warning." She turned to leave, then paused and glanced back. "By the way, Applejack? The problem is you. Or, more to the point, the boys are afraid of you."

Applejack blinked. "Huh?"

Celestia rolled her eyes. "You're stronger than any five boys at this school. They're all terrified you're going to crush them." With that, she walked away.

Applejack sat there, eyes wide. The other girls watched her, blinking.

"Well," Applejack said with a sigh. "Damn."

"I'm so sorry, Applejack," Fluttershy said quietly.

"It seems...hmm..." Rarity drawled. She let out a sigh. "Yes..."

"That's such a load," Rainbow said with a groan, patting Applejack on the shoulder. "Guess you need a nice sturdy dildo."

"Hmm," Pinkie mused. "Or maybe..."

The girls all looked at her. She looked around the cafeteria, then motioned for them to lean in closer. "Maybe the guys won't be so scared of getting hurt if there's more than one guy, you know? Safety in numbers and all that."

Applejack frowned. "Wait, whut?"

"I like where this is going," Rainbow said with a sleazy grin...

* * * * *

That Sunday, in an epic six hour gangbang, Applejack finally got her field plowed. And then some. She lay in a pool of spooge in the grass in a secluded corner of Sweet Apple Acres, a silly grin plastered across her cum-splattered face. All around her, five members of the Wondercolts defensive line lay sprawled out on the ground, groaning.

Two of them had to be carried out on stretchers.

One of them suffered a shattered femur and never played football again.