Why Am I Not an Alicorn?

by Adagio Dazzling

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Equestria Girls, Sunset Shimmer, Random, Princess Celestia
Length: 1216

Sunset has a question to ask Princess Celestia on her next visit

On a trip back to Equestria, Sunset asks Princess Celestia a question that she has been asking herself since Camp Everfree. How come the human world's version of Twilight is an Alicorn, but she isn't? The answer turns out to be slightly different than she expected.

Rated Teen for the singular use of a mildly naughty word. :scootangel:

Published 2016-10-21 21:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-10-21 21:10:01 UTC

Alicorn Roulette

Brushing off the dizziness that she experienced upon changing species, Sunset Shimmer got up on her hooves carefully and shook her head to relieve the awful ache that had formed in her neck. Sighing, she glanced around the library that was such a treasured room of the pony who resided there, noting the absence of said pony. Glancing at the extravagant grandfather clock in the corner of the room, she saw that it was 2:10, which caused her to frown slightly. She was fairly certain that she had told Twilight to meet her at 2 o'clock Equestrian Time when she sent her a message earlier that morning, and it wasn't like the precise, orderly princess to be late. Just then, Twilight came cantering full-speed through the doors of the library, panting and out of breath.

"Sunset!" whinnied the lavender pony, "I am so sorry I didn't get here in time. I was helping some ponies with friendship difficulties and it took longer than I expected; I didn't get back until just now, and-" Noticing Sunset's exasperated expression, Twilight giggled awkwardly and cleared her throat. "Ahem, sorry. What I meant to say was- how are you? It's been too long!"

"It's been two weeks," Sunset replied flatly. She wasn't in the mood for small talk right now, and wasted no time letting her friend know it. "Look, Twi, I'd love to talk some other time. Any other time in fact. But right now I need to talk to Princess Celestia- it's an emergency."

"Princess Celestia... emergency? Say no more!" Twilight replied firmly. "I'll get a chariot to take you; it's much faster- and quieter- than the train." Pausing for a minute, Twilight seemed to consider something. "Or," she mused, a small grin growing on her face, "We could always teleport there, if you think you're up to the challenge."

Sunset smirked. "You had me at challenge."

The bliss of using her natural Equestrian magic completely filled Sunset. So much so, in fact, that she almost forgot the reason why she had come to see Celestia. When she reached the door to the throne room, however; she sobered quickly and extended a light amber hoof to knock. Rapping the ornate golden door three times, Sunset waited anxiously and braced herself for any possible outcome. Finally, oh finally, a resplendent golden light enveloped the door, which she recognized as the princess's magic. Sunset steeled her nerves and exhaled deeply as the door finally swung open, revealing her old mentor's face.

"Sunset Shimmer, what a pleasant surprise!" There it was. That gentle, melodic voice that was immediately recognizable as Celestia's. Sunset's nerves calmed somewhat as she rushed to the Solar Princess for an affectionate hug. "It is good to see you, my old student. Now tell me, my little pony, what is the trouble that brought you to seek me out so urgently?" queried Celestia.

This was it. Sunset closed her eyes and asked the question which had been eating away at her since the fiasco at Camp Everfree. "Princess Celestia, why am I not an Alicorn?"

"Why Sunset, whatever brings you to ask a question like that?" questioned Celestia, her motherly tone growing stern, as if she was addressing a foal who had stayed up too late and caught a cold as a result.

Sunset, suddenly feeling very, very foalish, blurted out, "Alright, I have this friend in the human world. Her name is Twilight Sparkle, and yes, she's the counterpart to this world's Twilight Sparkle. I met her a few weeks ago at a school event and... let's just say she didn't make a very good first impression. She pulled an "old me" and turned into a raging she-demon, in fact. Fast forward a few friendship lasers and sleepovers later, and she's a part of the group. Then, we're going on a class camping trip. Things happen, and we end up ponying-up to defeat a villain. Now, that would all be fine and good, but it turns out that Human Twi is- well, she's an Alicorn! I couldn't believe it then and I can't now. She's done literally nothing to make her worthy of becoming an Alicorn, and I, on the other hand, have wielded all the Elements of Harmony. At the same time! How come she gets the thing I've been wanting for my whole life in the span of two weeks? It's ridiculous, and unfair, and..." Sunset trailed off as she heard a strange sound. Looking up, she realized that Celestia was laughing. Laughing. At her, no less. "What?" Sunset demanded.

"Oh, Sunset!" gasped Celestia in between guffaws. "You really think Alicorns are created because they are "deemed worthy"?"

"They- aren't? B-but what about Twilight- I, you... I read about it! I read that if a pony discovered a new form of magic, or used very, very powerful magic, then they would become an Alicorn! It was in Starswirl The Bearded's Third Assertation on Magic, on page 3 of chapter 22," Sunset stammered, feeling more confused by the second.

Drawing herself up regally, Celestia smiled benevolently. "Sunset, you really think I didn't just make that up to disguise the truth? Really, I can't believe anyone actually fell for that shit."

"If that's the blatant lie that you say it is, then what is the truth?" Sunset demanded, suddenly feeling the (quite justifiable) urge to blast Celestia with a burst of pure energy.

"Well you see, every generation a new foal is chosen, from all of the foals in Equestria. That foal is then given the Mark of the Alicorn, which leads them to their ultimate destiny," said the Princess of the Sun, smiling the enigmatic smile that made Sunset gnash her teeth in irritation. "I like to call it the Alicorn Lottery," Celestia whispered, quite unhelpfully.

"Wait a minute," grumbled Sunset. "You said a foal is picked every generation. If that's so, then how come the first known ascended Alicorn was Princess Mi Amore Cadenza? She wasn't even born that long ago!"

"Oh, the Alicorn Lottery is a quite recent thing, Sunset. I should know; I developed it. Back when my sister was still serving her punishment in the moon, I was a rather lonely soul. And not just lonely, I was poor too. That castle mortgage wasn't cheap! It soon became evident to me that I needed a way to make money. I thought long and hard about this, and would you know, I finally found a solution in the Alicorn Lottery."

By this point, Sunset was completely livid. Just as she was about to go into a full-on tirade about taxes and real estate, Celestia interrupted her with a wink, saying, "because, as everyone knows, more princesses made means more merchandise sold."

Green Thumb hated his job of tending to the Royal Gardens. Every day, it seemed, another princess fell into his roses and ruined them all. Grasping a shovel in his chartreuse magic, he started pulling out the dead dahlias and crushed chrysanthemums laboriously as the larger-than-life figure yelled, "It was just a joke!" to a smoking hole in the wall.

Author's Note

I'm so, so sorry. :fluttercry:

If you see any grammar mistakes, then please point them out to me so I can fix them. :scootangel: