Punk Rock 101

*Buzz..... Buzzzzzzzz*  The alarm on the clock rung with intent.  I knew what time it was... 7 A.M. and I dreaded it.  My dinner chat with Moonlight was quite nice and I had made quite the new friend, but she still had duties as a royal guard.  I looked at my alarm as I rose out of bed to reveal a note placed on the top.  Good morning Chris!  I set your alarm when you were in the shower, I will be attending to you nightly starting at 8:00 P.M. each night. - Your new friend, Moonlight Song.   Even though I hated waking up, at least she was looking out for me.  Besides, today I have a lot of explaining to do.  There is always a price of being the new kid on the block, and I'm ready to face it.... millions of questions.

I got up from the comfort of the warm, white bed to face the task of preparing myself.  Since moonlight was kind enough to get me the essentials, my job was a LOT easier.  I can't even imagine a world where there's no soap!  I walked over to the tray with the bathroom supplies and picked it up.  Le'Ponyal...Fresh Rose scent, for the mane.  Whatever this is, it's obviously for mares.  I took a whiff of the scent, revealing a what smelled to be an expensive rose shampoo.  While It isn't my smell of choice, I need to clean myself badly.  I could even smell myself it was that bad.  It reminded me of three day old roadkill... a smell that should never ever be in such a place like this.  I continued to the bathroom and found fresh towels, along with the aroma of lavender in the air.  I took off my clothes and stepped in the shower.  Two hoof-shaped knobs were placed at about my midsection, one for hot water, and one for cold.  I turned on the shower and slipped into a state of bliss.

Well... I needed that.  The shower was hot, refreshing, and now I smelled like roses.  Not that I mind the rose smell, honestly I don't care, as long as I'm clean and presentable.  I'm going to see if I can talk to Princess Celestia, I very much need to tell her how much that talk meant to me, and on how I can move forward in my life here.  First thing I need to do... clothes.  I can't wear the ones that I've had on for an entire week!  I must wash them.  But how?

I slung a towel around my waist, another on my head, and walked to the door.  I cracked the door and gazed down the hallway.  No guards.  Anywhere.  As the door slowly swung open, it suddenly hit something and stopped.

"My apologizes Mr. Chris!  Is there anything I can do for you sir?"  A male pony of the Royal Guard asked obviously flustered by the fact that a door just hit him.

"Oh I'm sorry for hitting you!  Please forgive me.  I must ask of a favor, can you get someone to wash my clothes?"

"Yes sir, right away!"  The guard walked into my room and found the clothes in my hand.  He took them silently and walked down the halway with haste.

I sat on the bed and waited for my hair to dry, and more importantly... for clothes.

***********

Thirty Minutes Later...

*bang bang bang!*  "Mr. Chris, I have your clothes sir!"

I walk to the door and slowly open it to reveal my freshly washed clothes. I smile, grab my laundered clothes, and retreat back into my room.  Five minutes later, I reemerge in clean clothes smelling somewhat nice.  The guard looks at me and stands at attention.

"Is there anything I may do for you sir?"

"Yes, I need to talk to Princess Celestia."  I say thinking about all the questions I was going to be bombed with.

"She is in day court sir, you may have an audience with Her Majesty at her next convenience."

"Nice to know.  What time would that be though, I must know specifics."  I say back, slightly frustrated.

"I can not give you a set time sir, although it would be wise to plan around dinner time."  The guard said in a monotone voice.

"Thank you, will I be notified when I can talk to her?"

"Yes sir.  Any other things you may need?"  He asked.

"I was supposed to get some instruments...?"

"They are ready to be installed in your room sir.  Would you like them to be set in your room now?"

"Yes, very much so!"  I enthusiastically said as I walked off.  "I will send a guard to notify you when we have made the changes."

Well I've got time to kill...  How about looking around the castle?  I mean no one would mind, and even if they did... they have to warn me first right?  I wondered down my hall to what seemed to be a main staircase.  Don't mind if I do... I sat down on the rail and began to slide.  If your going to be in a world of ponies, got to live a little right?

Shit.  Guards. My mind shouted as I noticed the pony standing at the bottom of the staircase.  Luckily, I wasn't going very fast; so I was able to jump back onto my feet... and pretend like it never happened.  My incognito attitude set in.  I began to walk with a little bit of an 'I'm an average Joe' feel.

"Howdy..."  I said to the guard as I passed him.  No response.  Cool!  Saw that bullet pass right by...

Sweet! I'm already beginning to like this day, not smelling like excrement, free instruments, talking ponies, Castles!  It can't get any better than this.  Time to live it up.  Goodbye mundane 9 to 5 life! My stomach growled bringing me back to reality.  I need to eat... again!  The castle around me gave me no clues as to where the kitchen was.  Do I really have to ask that guard?

I walked back up to the guard and looked at him in the eyes. "Say, could you point me to the kitchen?"

"Howdy.  I suppose I could do that, but I have to ask something from you first."  He cracked a small grin.

"Um alright." I responded, not knowing what he was going to ask.

"Don't slide on the banisters.  Please, they are so hard to keep clean."  Damn it!

"I give my word I won't again."

"Very well, Take a left down that hall there... you'll see it, cant miss it.  In the dinning room there will be a bell.  Ring for service."

I nodded and walked down the hallway he pointed to.  My eyes were treated with many different paintings and sculptures about ponies, especially the Princesses.  These ponies were royalty.  When I met Celestia she just seemed like any other person... it's hard for me to imagine her being some goddess thing; like in these paintings.  I stopped and stared at one that depicted her in a white robe holding a thunderbolt.  Ok, I can understand this... but ego much?  After a somewhat harsh judging of that work of art, I decided to continue on to the kitchen.

My hands pushed the door open to the dining room to reveal a long table with a bell sitting in the middle.  I pulled out the chair closest to the bell and sat down.  I waited for a moment, then rang it.

*Ring*

... A door swung open and a mare in a chef's uniform walked intently towards me.

"What will you need today, Sir?"  The chestnut-colored mare obviously was trying to stop from staring at me, intrigued by this new creature.

"Hmm, pancakes.  Then also do you have beer?"  I asked out of total curiosity.

"Yes we do Sir, I will have your beverage right out."  And with that she walked back to the kitchen door.

Hot dog... I think I'm really going to enjoy today.

The glass of beer was set on the table in front of me.  "I will have your food right out sir."

I took a big sip of my drink and sighed.  The beer was tasty.  Reminded me of home, something I was beginning to care less and less for... unfortunately.  I had only had beer on a couple of occasions before being sent here, but I still somewhat enjoyed it.  Mainly, I want to talk out everything with Princess Celestia.  Want was an un-descriptive term.  I need to talk this out.  This has all been really hard for me.  As much as I want to suppress it, it's not going away.

"Your pancakes, Sir.  Although If I may add... Beer and Pancakes don't really mix well."

I laughed.

"Well you see, I like to make unorthodox decisions on occasion."

"Well Sir, I have to say I won't necessarily be too happy if you request this meal combination again."  The mare began giggling and walked off.

"Jolly Joker eh?"  I mumble to myself as I began to dig into the stack of pancakes in front of me.  These pancakes are good!  Darn her for judging my taste in breakfast foods!

One bottle of Beer and Five Pancakes later...

I sat there full, and slightly buzzed from the drink that I just had.  In order to keep my coherence, I limited myself to one beer... gotta keep it together for the Princess.  My impatience to talk to her grew more each second I had to wait.  I would have talked to Moonlight but she was nocturnal.

"Damn."  I say under my breath as I replay the situation in my head.

"Are your bad choices catching up with you, Sir?"  I instinctively jerked, surprised to hear the mare's voice behind me.

"Not exactly, but you did scare me."  I turned around to get a good look at the pony.

"So why must you curse to yourself?"

"It's complicated.  But what I can say for sure is I want to talk to the Princess."  Hmm her voice sounds slightly different than the rest of the ponies.

"Which Princess?" She asks as her head turns to the side.

"At this point, I don't care... but if I need to talk to Princess Celestia."

"I may have heard Princess Luna was free..."  The chef said to me.

"If I could talk to her now, I would totally go for it."

"Well, you see I do have connections... and I could do that for you... but I need you to do something."

That's how they get 'ya.

"I'm listening..."

"Never, ever, make such a poor decision in food again.  I have spent the last fifteen years of my life cooking, and never once have had to make such a terrible meal!"  Her irritated tone implied she was very passionate about food.

"Done, now can I talk to the Princess?"

"Yes, follow me."

The chef led the way down many hallways and corridors to a very specific hall.  The hallway was dark, lit dimly by twinkling stars overhead.  Wow.  That's beautiful!  Constellations formed on the ceiling, but I could not make out what they were.  She lead me to a door with a crescent moon on it.  Two bat-ponies guarded the door, one looked very exited at our arrival.

"Good day Miss Waters!"  The grey furred pony responded.

"Hello Love, handsome as always I see."  She flirted with the stallion.  Ohhhh I see... she does have connections...  "Can you let my new friend see the Princess?  He is the special guest after all."

"Let me check dear."  He beamed as he walked inside.

The guard reapeared a couple of seconds later, nodding at me.  I began to walk to the door when the other guard stopped me.

"Remember, be respectful around the Princess."  He snarled as I walked through the door, with new found anxiety.

Here goes nothing.

"Ahh! Hello human friend!  I am Princess Luna, my sister has indeed told me about thou."  The blue pony greeted as she turned around from a desk.

"Hello Princess Luna.  I am Chris, it's very nice to meet you." I bow out of respect.

"Thou needest not to bow in my presence, we are friends."  She smiled at me as I recovered from the bow.

"I'll make sure I remember for next time Princess."

"Nonsense! Thou shall call us Luna, and only Luna!"  Her smile seemed to put me at ease.

"Ok Luna!"

"So what brings you here today?"  She asks as I start to feel uneasy.

"Personal matters... Can I sit somewhere?"

"Ok, of course.  You may sit here."  She motions as she points to her bed.  I walk over and sit down on the bed, followed by Luna.  Luna climns on the bed and makes herself comfortable.  "Now about the topics?"

"Well it's hard to say... I don't know where to start."  I said beginning to think about what I was going to say.

"Our sister has briefed us on the situation." Her head tilted to the side as if she was trying to figure something out.

"I don't know how I got here.  I don't know why I'm here... Talking ponies... it's all very hard for me to take in..."  I say looking at the dark blue sheets on the bed.  Luna gave me an empathizing look, letting me feel a little more comfortable.  "I feel like I was placed here for a reason... but I can't make heads or tails of anything."

"I understand this must be very unusual to thou... And we do feel very sorry for you.  May we be the first to try to calm thou by saying we are glad to have you here?"  I sat there looking at Luna.  Just looking, not feeling, or even thinking.

"You're glad to have me here?"

"Why of course dear Chris.  We are quite enthused at your unexpected arrival on our planet."  I looked into her green eyes and felt confused.

"I just feel like something isn't right... Like I'm not going to be able to go home."  I let my emotions through for a second.

"Maybe there is a way for thou to return to thy native land?"

"I don't feel like it is possible..."

The dam in my heart that I had locked away since I realized I was stuck here suddenly broke.  I could no longer hold the feelings back.  I could no longer pretend it was ok.  Nothing right now was ok.  I began to cry as I just looked at her.

"I really don't know where I am anymore..."  The tears started to fall faster.  "Where's my family?!  My room?  My car?  My LIFE!!!"  I started to mumble in sorrow as the tears kept running down my face.

"There, there Mr. Chris... Everything will be just fine.  Calm thyself, and stow away your fears."  The princess whispered softly in my ear as I felt her blue hooves gently wrap around my body.

"Luna... I-I Don't know anym-More!  I'm dead... I have to be..."

"Don't say that Chris, we promise thou art very much alive..."

"O-Ok just let me please..."  My hands pulled Luna closer.  I sat there crying, hugging Luna as I tried to calm myself down.  "I'll be ok... I promise."

"We know the undesirable feelings all too well Chris, I'm sorry you are enduring this now."

"Its ok, with time I think I'll make it!" I say with confidence as my crying begins to cease.  "I've been through worse."

Luna jerked back slightly at what I said confused.  She looked at me with an expression of raw disbelief.

"Back in 'Nam... Viet-cong surrounded us.  I had one clip left..."  I say in a fake deep accent.

"What is thou talking about?"

"No need to worry about it..."  I laughed internally at the Vietnam joke that no one got.

"If thou insists...  So does thou like the moon?"  Luna asked me with excitement.

"I think it's beautiful, but I don't know much about it." I saw Luna's eyes get bigger... staring into mine with anticipation.

"Thank you Chris, would you mind seeing it tonight with us?  We can tell thou all about the moon and stars!"

"Yes that would be awesome!  I'll have to tell Moonlight Song about it though, she's in your guard right?"

"Why yes she is.  A very talkative pony at that.  She is thou's personal guard to watch over thine slumber."  She said scratching her hoof on her chin.  "If we do remember correctly."

"That's right, she's really nice.  Can I ask you a question Luna?"  Her eyes meet my question with a raised expression.

"Yes?"

"Why do you use old english?"

"Old English?  Does thou mean old Equuesta?"  She asks, countering my question.

"I guess, why do you say thou and art?"

"I think it's nicer... and we haven't exactly caught the latest fashions..."  Her posture droops a little, along with her ears.

"I think it's nicer as well, very cute... that's for sure."  She blushes and giggles.

"Thou thinks we art cute?"  She giggles some more.  "Thous words dost improve our mood in a way that we enjoy."  I begin to laugh slightly at the way she worded that last phrase.

"Anyways, can you tell me more about yourself?"

"Well we arrange the stars... Rule the night, raise the moon, have a holiday named after us."  I can see her deep in thought.

I sat there just baffled.  She can raise the moon?  Arrange the stars?!  What?  It was at this time I fully realized everything that I saw.  Luna was almost as big as Celestia, just slightly shorter.  Her mane flowed like Celestia's, but it was dark blue... and full of stars.  Each star took a turn to sparkle every now and then, leaving me lost for words.  Her crown was black and shorter than Celestia's.  I think I like Luna more than Celestia... Just don't tell Celestia that just yet!  Bluntly put... she's beautiful.  She had green eyes that let on more than the average person, something I really liked about her.

"Wait.  You arrange the stars?"

"Yes, we do."

"You have to be joking right?" I say still taken back by what she said.

"Well we are not.  We really do have the task."

"You're amazing... I mean! That's awesome!"  My mouth slips.  I look over at Luna and see her slightly blushing.  "Like I never knew... I wish I knew more about the stars.  I think they are beautiful, but I know nothing about them... I just look on in amazement."

"Your words are too kind Chris!  Later tonight, Thou will get to know them as much as you desire."  She smiles, taking my complement to heart.

"Does thou play music?  We heard a rumor that thou asked for instruments and a recording device."

"Yes I do... and I did.  I asked Celestia, and they are supposed to be installed in my room today."

"What is thou's favorite type of music?"  She asks intrigued.

"Punk rock."

"What is punk?"  Her face shifts to a sudden glare of confusion.

"Well punk is a mindset.  It's a way to vent frustration."  I say shrugging.  How does one even explain Punk?

"Oh I see, will thou be recording this punk music?"

"Yes, I was planning to record an album."  I let out debating on what to call my band.

A pony knocks on the door and walks in.  I quickly saw it was the guard from my room.

"Sir, Your instruments are installed.  Princess."  He bows to her and walks out again.

Yes!!!!!