Punk Rock 101

by Lavender_Sigil01

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, DJ P0N-3, Alternate Universe, Human, Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Romance
Length: 7931

You are Chris. One day while listening to music, your transported to Equestria. But why?

One day, while listening to music, You are transported to the land of Equestria. Talking ponies of all colors are suddenly distressed to see a new species of creature somehow appear. Your name is Chris, and music is your passion. How will you wade your way through a strange new world as you try to make friends in this land of wonders? Traverse this tale of music, friendship,music, and new experiences in Punk Rock 101.

Published 2016-10-27 04:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-12-29 05:05:34 UTC

Prologue: Hi....

Hmm Hmm!  That has to be the greatest riff of all time!  The Misfits were one of the greats.  I think to myself as I enjoy the sounds of my music while laying on my bed.  Gazing around my room I look at my familiar posters, Iron Maiden, Misfits, Pantera.... all the bands that have shaped my life are taped on the walls.  Today was a hard day.  Classes sucked ...as usual.  Girls looked past me... as usual.  Even my cat hasn't been awake... as usual.  Everything was so usual, Boringness seemed to plague my life.

"So Chris, what are we going to listen to today?"  I say to myself mumbling, trying to find something interesting.  As I looked at the screen of my phone I began to yawn.  Ramones.  I selected the album, and heard the familiar riff.  My mind began to wonder around as I slipped into a trance like state.  Continuing into my technological trance, I opened up instagram and scrolled through the feed.  Band picture after band picture, prom pics... stupid filters it was all too normal, but I couldn't care.  Right now I needed to do something so I wouldn't go insane, and instagram seemed to work.  Why are there no new styles of photography now?  Look at this, all filter, no talent.  call me crazy, but I hate these stereotypical pics.  I didn't want to be a downer, but seriously how hard is it to take a pic of something that isn't a coffee cup?  My internal rant seemed to make my boredom a little easier to swallow; a mediocre device of self help.  The music I was listening to spiked my interest as well, the chorus was approaching... Sheena is a punk rocker... Sheeena is a punk rocker now!

What If aliens were real?  I mean like seriously... something has to be out there.  Maybe the government knows about them and isn't telling us?  Whatever.  Aliens can't cure boredom, that's for sure.  I yawned again and checked the time... 11:30 P.M.  It's late.  My ears sparked curiosity as a song I hadn't heard in a while begins to play.  I love this one! but ahh... it's late, I need to go to sleep....  With that, my eyes began to lose control... my drowsiness was beginning to catch up with me.  I gave into the unstoppable feeling and fell asleep.

*****

The morning kicked me like a steel-toed boot.  I shot up and opened my eyes....  NOTHING was the same.  I looked around desperately trying to find my posters, none of which hung on the walls.  The walls were an Olympic white, with ornate features on them.  A single window shone light into the room.  I began to panic as I tried to look for any signs of anything that I was familiar with... To my dismay, nothing was the same.  Another thing I noticed was there was a tribal-looking yellow sun on the door.  My feet practically swung themselves off of the bed as I jumped, ready to assess the situation, then escape.  I've been taken hostage, looks like some place expensive... that must mean tight security... Wait there Isn't even a camera in here.... what is this place?!  My paranoia was fueled by the sounds of commotion from the hallway.

"Yes Princess, the human is awake."  A muffled voice said as my eyes stared at the door.

Princess?.....  I think as the door opens up.  The only thing I can think of as the door creeps open is the possibility of certain death.  I freeze as the door is almost fully open... It can't be... a.... Pony?  Holy Hell.... I've seen weird crap, but not this weird before...  Before me stood a horse that was about 6'1, With all white fur, and get this, a three colored flowing mane.  If that wasn't crazy enough, It also had wings and a horn!  If that wasn't enough, It was wearing a gold crown; accompanied by a gold necklace thing.  I wasn't able to move as my mouth dropped open in amazement.

"Uh.... Hi..." My mouth spits out, still in shock.

"It's nice to see you are awake Mr....?"  The pony responds as she gets closer to me, smiling.

"Chris, the name is... Y-yeah.  So you are a talking,.... Um.... horse?" I muster out in an awkward haze.  An awkward silence pressured the room, until the white horse responds.

"Nice to meet you Mr. Chris, I am a pony named Princess Celestia.  I co-rule this land with my sister with whom you have not made an acquaintance yet."  She says as I still can not comprehend what is happening.

"Oh Uh where are my manors...." I bow to the princess as she blushes. "It is nice to meet you Princess, I'm just really confused at all this."

"I understand Mr. Chris, do not be so hard on yourself, I know we will become great friends."  She smiles as she walks over to give me a hug.  "I will explain how this all came to be.  We know you are a human, but the last human that was in our lands was before my time... It's said to be that every five thousand years a human randomly appears in Equestria."  Celestia breaks off the hug and presumes to sit down on a stool that is right next to the bed.

"Wait, Equestrawhatia?  How come I have never heard of this place?  Sorry if I come off as rude, but where the hell am I?  Is this a joke?  Wheres my room, posters, phone, hell the only thing I have are my clothes."  I say kind of distressed while staring at the white pony.

"Have a seat, Mr. Chris. Looks like there is a lot I must share with you."  She said as her horn lights up and she moves a chair, across from herself.  "I assure you this is all very real.  We are living in Equiis.  Equiis is a world where many different species live in harmony.  This land we are on is Equestria, a country of many, in Equiis.  Do you have a grasp on that?"  she says as her heat turns somewhat to the side, as if she is curious to know.

"Yeah, I can understand that?  I mean not too hard to understand... not like rocket science."  I say as I nervously approach and sit in the chair.

"Rocket science?..."  The princess asks while her head doesn't move.

"I'll tell you later, so is everyone a pony?  or what?"  My awkwardness shows through my word choices as my head begins to spin.

"Here we say everypony, but not necessarily Mr. Chris... you see there are many different colors of ponies.  There are three races of ponies, Earth Ponies, Peagasi, and Unicorns.  Unicorns have Horns, Pegasi have wings, and Earth Ponies posses a higher physical strength ability.  I am an Alicorn.  I both have wings and a horn."  The pony says after retracting her head back to its normal position.   "All of the ruling princesses of Equestria are Alicorns."  Celestia looks at me with a smug smile.

"So you're a big deal?" I shoot back at the ruler with a bantering grin.

"Well... Uh, Y-yes.  One could say that."  The white pony croaks taken aback by the forward statement.

"Well I have to say it's nice to have a princess giving me the tour, so to speak, of the land.  I kind of am grasping this idea of ponies, but I have to ask... what's that by your tail?"  I asked pointing to the same sun symbol that was on the wall.

"Well this is called a cutie mark.  It is an outward depiction of the special talent the pony contains.  Mine is the sun, depicting my ruler ship of the day, and ability to control the sun.  ...Like say a pony was a carpenter!  When that pony found out they were going to be a carpenter, their cutie mark appeared on their flank and usually has something to do with their occupation."

"I see, I see...  Humans don't get that luxury.  It's like no matter what we do as a profession, we always have a sliver of doubt or regret about out jobs." I say looking at the ruler in a serious tone.

"It must be hard to find out what your passions are... is it not?" Celestia asks as she looks into my eyes.

"Well you see, sometimes if you are lucky; you just know what you want... like me and music."  I look in celestia's eyes as my passion for music is ignited.  "The first time I listened to punk rock I knew I was going to play music as my job."

"Very interesting!  Perhaps we can detail this later... this punk rock you speak of... I've never heard of it before." She says as she looks away and puts her hoof under her chin.  "I must talk to you about such things later, but we have much more important things to talk about right now.  I must know Chris, if there's anything I can get you please tell me, I'm more than happy to try to accommodate your needs."  After making the promising offer she looks back at me wearing ,yet another, friendly smile.

"Well, I could use a guitar, a bass, a drum kit, stuff to record with, but I would really enjoy a pony I could talk to at night... If that isn't too much princess..."  I ask realizing that asking so much was rude of me.

"All right Mr. Chris.  I did say anything you needed, and I mean it.  I know how hard it is to be thrown into a strange land without a friend.  My royal planner shall attend to the instruments... I can maybe get a member of my sister's guard to be present while you are awake at night.  Her guards are a certain type of pony, they are commonly known as bat ponies.  Bat ponies are nocturnal and use fangs to eat fruit, while the fangs could be scary; they are truly harmless.  I know one that may fit the bill... a certain miss Moonlight Song."

"Well thank you very, very, very, very much Celestia!  This means a lot to me, especially since you know... I'm just so lost right now."  I say overwhelmed with too many feelings.

Ponies.... Princesses?  Bat ponies..... Magic!  I swear if the next thing she says is about aliens... I might crap my pants.  What is even going on in this world?  My thoughts rampaged as I tried to understand what had just happened.  I've been going along with this because to make sure I can escape if these things are evil.  Seriously, I have no reason why not to trust them... I have both my kidneys, Right?  Wait.  I haven't checked that yet...........

"Mind If I... I don't know... cuddle up to you as I gain my thoughts?" I ask out of the blue feeling the vulnerability of my last statement seeping through the room.

Celestia looks at me a bit taken back by the request.  seconds tick by.  My thought start betraying me in my head.  Way to be an ass to quite possibly the nicest person- wait - pony you've......

"That's fine Chris, meet me on the bed."  She replies while cutting my thought off as I look at the ruler in shock.

The white pony sits up and walks over to the bed, with me getting up and walking behind her.  She is the first to get on the bed.  I look at her getting comfortable and I decide to crawl on the bed next to her. I feel a blush starting to form on my face from the weirdness of it all. I'm on a bed, with a pony... a princess pony... which seems to actually enjoy talking to a stranger she just met.  Now I'm going to be cuddling against her.  I hate to admit it, but I need this.  I feel so lost right now... so terrible that I could actually never see my human friends again.  Hopefully this is a dream, so I can wake up and not have to live away from reality...

"Ok lay on your back..." She says as I obey the request.  The princess shuffles over to me and lays her body over me.  I instantly was greeted with a layer of white fur over my entirety, which felt actually really soothing and warm.  My face was met with hers right next to me.

"So does that feel better?"

"Yes, its very good... you have no idea how much it helps to have someone to hug...."  I respond to her question.

"Trust me Mr. Chris you are safe here, just focus on me.... block out all the bad feelings." The muzzle next to me said therapeutically as I closed my eyes trying to forget everything.  To my discomfort, I could not cease the never ending questions that crossed my mind.  Her fur pressed up against my body soothingly.

Please just be a strange dream!  My head begins to burst into a headache as I close my eyes and try to sleep.

End Prologue

Ending the Dream

I wake up in the dead of the night... looking around to see, to my disappointment, the same white room.  God, is this real? I ask myself as I contemplate the idea of being stuck here.  Celestia was gone, and it seemed to be nighttime.  Ahh! My head!  I grabbed my head and felt the throbbing die down.  My headache had ended, but my thirst for answers had not.  I need to know... I have to find out...  Just as I was thinking that I see something emerge from the shadows.

"Hello Mr. Chris, I am Moonlight Song.  Princess Celestia personally appointed me to be your night guard."  A gray coated mare with a black and dark purple mane says.  Moonlight's wings were not like Celestia's, they were well... bat like.  Her eyes were a deep purple, with black slits for better night vision.  She was maybe 5'2 in height, and had a soft, yet caring voice.

"Hi there Moonlight Song, I see... well you... M-must be *yawn* The pony Celestia was talking about."  I spit out groggily as my eyes just realize what the shape was.  Her smile showed the fangs I was warned about.  While most humans would run at such a display of teeth, I rather enjoyed looking at them.

"I see you are looking at the fangs, I promise you I am no blood-sucking creature..." She said like it was a routine.  Moonlight looked away for a second as if she was afraid of how I would respond.

"Well Yeah, I have to say they are very pretty, and I'm not afraid of them."  I say looking at her in the eyes.  I see that my comment made an impression by the way she blushed and looked away for a split second.

"Really? I-I haven't heard that one before Mr. Chris...." Moonlight enthuses as her eyes brighten up and stare back at me with appreciation.

"Well Moonlight, I have to say after looking at you, it's not just the teeth that are beautiful about you.  Please just call me Chris."  I smile as I deliver the best flirtatious line I could think of trying to make an impression.  As far as I can see, It worked.  The bat pony stood there giggling and blushing at the same time.

"I think I will like you Chris!" She jokes as her blush starts to fade slowly.  "I am a part of Luna's guard, I'm glad to have a fun assignment for once."  She said as her tone of voice indicated her pride for this 'Luna'.

"Who is Luna?" I ask genuinely confused at the ever-changing politics of this Equestria.

"Well you see Luna is Celestia's sister, and ruler of the night.  She's like Celestia but her duties are slightly different.  She arranges the stars, watches over nighttime creatures, and even does dream counseling.  While Celestia rules over the day, Luna rules the night."  Midnight informs as she exclaims enthusiastically, exited about the night ruler.

What?  Arranges the stars? ... I swear my life will never be dull again.

"That makes sense..." I muster out as the bat-pony walks by the bed and sits on the stool that Celestia placed earlier.  "So what time is it?" I ask wondering about how long I slept.

"Right now, It is 3 A.M.  You slept for quite some time Chris." She says while adjusting her mane.  "You woke up at 1 P.M. and fell asleep at 2 P.M."

"It's a hard adjustment, that's for sure... where I come from, horses are usually non pastel, and don't talk.  There are no flying ponies, nor unicorns... they only exist in stories or legends."  I say telling the truth about my world.  The same world that almost destroys itself ever decade.

"If you don't mind telling me, what is that place like?" Miss Song asks tilting her head to the side like Celestia did earlier.

That's absolutely adorable....

"Well, humans are the dominant creature on planet earth.  We have morals, but many act without them.  We wage wars on ourselves because of petty issues, logic is nonexistent, and love is a meaningless over-used word." I say truthfully, trying to vent some frustration about humanity.

Moonlight gasps loudly in disbelief.  I can see her genuine shock at how such things can go on.

"How is that possible?  I-i can't believe any-pony would do such things..."

"Unfortunately It is true.  But we aren't ponies... we are controlling, psychotic humans." I wonder the extent of their wars, I wonder if they are as brutal as ours.  Hopefully they are not, but that's yet to see.

"Hey I don't think you're psychotic." she remarks as her head returns to its normal position.

"I try not to be." I remark as I give her a grin at the possible compliment.  "Any other questions?"

"What are your interests?"

Finally something about me and not Earth.  I hate telling other people's problems, it just brings me down.

"My passion is music..-"

"...-ME TOO! What type of music?" She butts in seemingly as interested in the subject as I am.

"Awesome! Yeah, I play punk rock, and Metal mostly...."  Her gaze widened as she tried to understand this new style of music.  "It's a type of music that moves people.  Music that really connects with each person that listens to it."

"Wow... I really would like to listen to this music you speak of..."

"And you will, if I get some instruments."

Her face lightens up at the future promise of new and unheard glory.  Moonlight seemed like the type of person I would become friends with instantly... but she's a pony... so does that make it Somepont?  More thoughts of wisdom from Chris's brain.  But something about this pony was different from Celestia, more like a different type of cute.  Let's face it. Celestia was friggin' cute.  She was a white leader pony, bigger than me, but somehow seemed to capture the essence of a child's idea of a ruler.  That was adorable.  But Moonlight was different.  She is the type of cute that I might see in a girl my age back at home.  Ught.... Home.  This whole pony thing was cool, but nothing like earth.

"So what else can you tell me about yourself?" Moonlight asks as if she read my mind.

So what now?  They read minds... Greeat.

"Yeah I suppose I could tell you some more about Earth.  We have sports, movies, and the list goes on." I say legitimately trying to think of a good conversation.

"What about taking mates?" She asks me after I finish my thought.

"Why do you want to know about that?"  I ask as I think of something less.... awkward.

"Well um you know... It could be different."

"Fair point.  It kind of goes like this... a guy falls in love with a girl, he asks her on a date, if they enjoy it they do it again.  This process repeats until it fails, or they get married.  But within the past few years gay relationships have been on the rise so, if you're into that..."

"Interesting... That seems so crazy!  The guy asks the Girl?!" She states in disbelief.

"What..? I'm lost."

"Here in Eqquis, us mares almost break out into fights over stallions.  It's so hard to get a coltfriend, let alone get married.  So hard in fact, herding and lesbian relationships are on the rise."

"Herding?"

"When more than one mare is dating a colt."  She says in deadpan.

"Oh I see."  I comment nervously as I look at her in a 1,000 yard gaze.

"It is rather... unusual to me, but sometimes unusual is beneficiary."  Her eyes look to the ground for a moment and shoot back up at mine.  "Did you have a marefriend?  You know back in your world?"

"I-I Did not."  My face hangs low at the thought of past rejections. "I was never exactly the most popular of folks."

"I'm sorry... I honestly see no reason for a mare to reject you."  She said as her face blushes a little.

"Thank you."  Is she flirting with me?

"I mean you look very strong, and your eyes shine like the moon on still water."  She deepens the blush as I look at her still trying to find her motive.

"Wow uh, that was... a new one for me.." Yep flirting confirmed.   say... I wonder how she would respond if I played along...  "Don't sit here talking about me when you're the one with all the cuteness."  I smile as I deliver the complement.

She blushes a lot more and looks away for the slightest moment... what I said seems to have affected her more than I thought It would.

"NoPony has ever said I was THAT cute before...." she giggles and starts to let a side of her loose that I have not seen yet.

"Well, I am no pony...."  I wear a sly grin and await her response.

She giggles some more and stares at me and says "I have to say for not being a pony, you are quite lovely Chris..."

I sharply think about the many times I have ruined possible relationships, and I will not ruin this opportunity.  She's beautiful for a pony... but we don't even really know eachother yet.  Grr.  dumb circumstances!  I just want to see what she's playing at.  Hopefully we can just stay friends for tonight.

"Well for being a pony, I'd have to say the same about you Moonlight.  Say moonlight, can you tell me more about you?"

"well I'm glad to answer questions, but I don't know how to go about telling you about myself by a lecture."

"Do you have hobbies?" I ask as she looks up to the ceiling and scratches her hoof against her chin.

"Yes, music... I like to run... I also really like moonlight walks, and especially I'd have to say I love flowers but I'm allergic to my favorite one..."

"Allergic? what flower?"

"The white rose.  It's a bummer too cause it is the most beautiful one by far."

"White roses are lovely." I add trying to contribute something to the conversation.

"Have you met any other pony besides the Princess and myself?"  Moonlight asks, trying to switch the subject.

"Well, no.  I kinda was thrown into this world apparently a week ago, and even then I couldn't stay awake for more than thirty minutes..."

"I see, I'm positive you will be able to make friends with everypony."

"Thanks for the support, honestly I'm kind of worried I won't be welcomed.  I'm a new species around here so..."

"That's nonsense talk Chris.  Ponies will LOVE you...  What's not to like about you?  You're handsome, smart, adorable, and oh yeah... did I mention handsome?"  The pony lists as she forgets her first complement to me.

I think she has a crush on me.  "Thank you, that's way too exaggerated..." I laugh as she seems to smile at my acknowledgement.  "I really want to just get out there and play music, but that probably won't happen for a while."  Honestly saying, I will have to talk to the princesses more to even convince them to let me out.  I've only talked to them like once anyways....

"That would totally be amazing to hear a new type of music.  maybe you could play at the Nightmare Night festival, it's in a month and it I'm sure everypony would love to hear your new music."

"That's a thought... Say what exactly IS Nightmare Night?"

"Well you heard of Princess Luna right?  You know the one I serve under?  There was a time when she might have.... been kinda possessed by an ancient evil spirit who might have in turn-*cough* destroyed the entire free world then was defeated by the elements of harmony and brought back to normal-*cough*."   I sat dumbfounded that such a thing could happen.  "Soooo we make a holiday that you dress up as something other than yourself, and get candy from it."

"So pretty much Halloween?" I ask as I try to make heads and tails of the very thought of evil spirits.

"Whats that?  oh.  Never-mind, just please let that story not influence the way you view Princess Luna.  Nightmare Moon and Luna are two separate entities."

"I'll keep that in mind, but I'd like to defantely play for everyone then if possible."

"Alright!  Chris, can I get you anything like food or water?"  I see she noticed my stomach growling, and I did as well.  "I'm also to look after your every need at night."

"Yes I would love some water, say... what's on the menu?"  The words slip out of my mouth as I think of what I want to devour.

"Tomato soup was today's special, if you can eat that of course, being new here and all; you might eat differently than us ponies."

"That would hit the spot! I love tomato soup!  And also a toothbrush, toothpaste, and showering items would be wonderful.  I don't know what you ponies use, but I would like something that smells nice."  I looked at a now giggling Moonlight Song, wondering what she thought was so funny.   "Say what's funny?"

"Oh it's nothing... I hope you like roses... that's all I'm going to say Chris."  She giggles as she starts to walk out the room.  "The bathroom is that door on your left."  Moonlight points her hoof to the door that was to the left of the bed, obviously sized for ponies.

"Thanks, make sure not to leave your cuteness on the way out, ok?"  I say obviously trying to flirt with the bat-pony.  Her blush was very visible as she giggled.  Moonlight winked and smiled, showing her fangs, then her head slid out of the door frame.

That went well.  I hope?  I mean I was as charming as possible... and these women seem easier than the ones back home, am I right?  Anyway, I really have to use the bathroom.  I got up and felt the carpet under my feet, it felt well-made and expensive... but this was a castle.  I never thanked the Princess for the accommodations.  Ugh I'm a jerk!  No need to dwell on the thought, I'll just tell her later.

The walk to the bathroom seemed long and arduous, nevertheless, it was beneficiary.  I hadn't been awake in something like a week, something that was unfathomable for just a run-of-the-mill teen; and it seems like the sleep had taken its toll.  My legs felt like dead weight, I had bad stubble, and my breath smelled disgusting.  I just hope these ponies use toilet paper... or else I'm screwed.

I reached the bathroom and walked into the door that was about my height.  Yes! Toilet paper!  But the toilet was built into the floor... Something very unusual to me, but I didn't care.  I did my business and started to wash up at the sink.  The water on my face was soothing to say the least, but I desperately need a shower.    I turned off the faucet and heard a familiar voice humming.

"Chris I got you your things!"

I walk out the door to the bathroom and notice something about the room, there is now a table in the middle with my food on it.  Accompanying the food is a wine glass full of water, and topping off the whole sha-bang is a vase with yellow daffodils in the middle.  My first reaction to the overly fancy display was to laugh to myself.

"Do you like it?" she asks as she pours a water for herself.

"I love it!  How thoughtful of you Miss Song." I say as I smile widely and approach the table.  "Just one thing missing."

"Oh no... I'm so sorry Chris I just.. Please forgive me..."  She began babbling in a distressed voice as I walked over to the flower vase.  I picked up one of the flowers and broke its long stem off, and looked at Moonlight as she stared confused.

"I love every bit of it."  I say as i place the flower in her hair, as she sighs in relief.

"You got me all worked up for this?" she giggles as she looks at the flower in her dual colored mane.

I boop Moonlight's nose, and watch her muzzle scrunch up in a cute way.  Her face seems very elated as I smile back at her.

"Quite the gentlecolt I see Mr. Chris!"

"I try to be chivalrous when I can dear Miss Song."  I say as I walk over to the chair and look at the food in front of me.  "By the way, Miss Song... you look quite beautiful this evening."  Moonlight looks at me with a face of complete happiness as I start to eat my soup.  I make sure to eat it in the way my mother taught me to whenever I was with company.  Prim, and proper.

"Please tell me Chris... am I really... beautiful?"  Moonlight practically whispers as she looks me intently in the eyes.  I swallow the soup in my mouth and look up at her.

"Yes, you are.  I haven't seen many ponies, but I have to say you are very beautiful, Moonlight."  I say as I slightly lean forward as I put down my spoon.

"Thank you Chris... I have to say that is very special, coming from you... somepony who I've become very fast mat-... Friends with."  Moonlight remarks, catching her voice from letting lose a word.

"I'm glad to hear the feelings are totally reciprocated!"  I say as I wink and go back to eating my soup.

End Chapter 1

Somewhat.

*Buzz..... Buzzzzzzzz*  The alarm on the clock rung with intent.  I knew what time it was... 7 A.M. and I dreaded it.  My dinner chat with Moonlight was quite nice and I had made quite the new friend, but she still had duties as a royal guard.  I looked at my alarm as I rose out of bed to reveal a note placed on the top.  Good morning Chris!  I set your alarm when you were in the shower, I will be attending to you nightly starting at 8:00 P.M. each night. - Your new friend, Moonlight Song.   Even though I hated waking up, at least she was looking out for me.  Besides, today I have a lot of explaining to do.  There is always a price of being the new kid on the block, and I'm ready to face it.... millions of questions.

I got up from the comfort of the warm, white bed to face the task of preparing myself.  Since moonlight was kind enough to get me the essentials, my job was a LOT easier.  I can't even imagine a world where there's no soap!  I walked over to the tray with the bathroom supplies and picked it up.  Le'Ponyal...Fresh Rose scent, for the mane.  Whatever this is, it's obviously for mares.  I took a whiff of the scent, revealing a what smelled to be an expensive rose shampoo.  While It isn't my smell of choice, I need to clean myself badly.  I could even smell myself it was that bad.  It reminded me of three day old roadkill... a smell that should never ever be in such a place like this.  I continued to the bathroom and found fresh towels, along with the aroma of lavender in the air.  I took off my clothes and stepped in the shower.  Two hoof-shaped knobs were placed at about my midsection, one for hot water, and one for cold.  I turned on the shower and slipped into a state of bliss.

Well... I needed that.  The shower was hot, refreshing, and now I smelled like roses.  Not that I mind the rose smell, honestly I don't care, as long as I'm clean and presentable.  I'm going to see if I can talk to Princess Celestia, I very much need to tell her how much that talk meant to me, and on how I can move forward in my life here.  First thing I need to do... clothes.  I can't wear the ones that I've had on for an entire week!  I must wash them.  But how?

I slung a towel around my waist, another on my head, and walked to the door.  I cracked the door and gazed down the hallway.  No guards.  Anywhere.  As the door slowly swung open, it suddenly hit something and stopped.

"My apologizes Mr. Chris!  Is there anything I can do for you sir?"  A male pony of the Royal Guard asked obviously flustered by the fact that a door just hit him.

"Oh I'm sorry for hitting you!  Please forgive me.  I must ask of a favor, can you get someone to wash my clothes?"

"Yes sir, right away!"  The guard walked into my room and found the clothes in my hand.  He took them silently and walked down the halway with haste.

I sat on the bed and waited for my hair to dry, and more importantly... for clothes.

***********

Thirty Minutes Later...

*bang bang bang!*  "Mr. Chris, I have your clothes sir!"

I walk to the door and slowly open it to reveal my freshly washed clothes. I smile, grab my laundered clothes, and retreat back into my room.  Five minutes later, I reemerge in clean clothes smelling somewhat nice.  The guard looks at me and stands at attention.

"Is there anything I may do for you sir?"

"Yes, I need to talk to Princess Celestia."  I say thinking about all the questions I was going to be bombed with.

"She is in day court sir, you may have an audience with Her Majesty at her next convenience."

"Nice to know.  What time would that be though, I must know specifics."  I say back, slightly frustrated.

"I can not give you a set time sir, although it would be wise to plan around dinner time."  The guard said in a monotone voice.

"Thank you, will I be notified when I can talk to her?"

"Yes sir.  Any other things you may need?"  He asked.

"I was supposed to get some instruments...?"

"They are ready to be installed in your room sir.  Would you like them to be set in your room now?"

"Yes, very much so!"  I enthusiastically said as I walked off.  "I will send a guard to notify you when we have made the changes."

Well I've got time to kill...  How about looking around the castle?  I mean no one would mind, and even if they did... they have to warn me first right?  I wondered down my hall to what seemed to be a main staircase.  Don't mind if I do... I sat down on the rail and began to slide.  If your going to be in a world of ponies, got to live a little right?

Shit.  Guards. My mind shouted as I noticed the pony standing at the bottom of the staircase.  Luckily, I wasn't going very fast; so I was able to jump back onto my feet... and pretend like it never happened.  My incognito attitude set in.  I began to walk with a little bit of an 'I'm an average Joe' feel.

"Howdy..."  I said to the guard as I passed him.  No response.  Cool!  Saw that bullet pass right by...

Sweet! I'm already beginning to like this day, not smelling like excrement, free instruments, talking ponies, Castles!  It can't get any better than this.  Time to live it up.  Goodbye mundane 9 to 5 life! My stomach growled bringing me back to reality.  I need to eat... again!  The castle around me gave me no clues as to where the kitchen was.  Do I really have to ask that guard?

I walked back up to the guard and looked at him in the eyes. "Say, could you point me to the kitchen?"

"Howdy.  I suppose I could do that, but I have to ask something from you first."  He cracked a small grin.

"Um alright." I responded, not knowing what he was going to ask.

"Don't slide on the banisters.  Please, they are so hard to keep clean."  Damn it!

"I give my word I won't again."

"Very well, Take a left down that hall there... you'll see it, cant miss it.  In the dinning room there will be a bell.  Ring for service."

I nodded and walked down the hallway he pointed to.  My eyes were treated with many different paintings and sculptures about ponies, especially the Princesses.  These ponies were royalty.  When I met Celestia she just seemed like any other person... it's hard for me to imagine her being some goddess thing; like in these paintings.  I stopped and stared at one that depicted her in a white robe holding a thunderbolt.  Ok, I can understand this... but ego much?  After a somewhat harsh judging of that work of art, I decided to continue on to the kitchen.

My hands pushed the door open to the dining room to reveal a long table with a bell sitting in the middle.  I pulled out the chair closest to the bell and sat down.  I waited for a moment, then rang it.

*Ring*

... A door swung open and a mare in a chef's uniform walked intently towards me.

"What will you need today, Sir?"  The chestnut-colored mare obviously was trying to stop from staring at me, intrigued by this new creature.

"Hmm, pancakes.  Then also do you have beer?"  I asked out of total curiosity.

"Yes we do Sir, I will have your beverage right out."  And with that she walked back to the kitchen door.

Hot dog... I think I'm really going to enjoy today.

The glass of beer was set on the table in front of me.  "I will have your food right out sir."

I took a big sip of my drink and sighed.  The beer was tasty.  Reminded me of home, something I was beginning to care less and less for... unfortunately.  I had only had beer on a couple of occasions before being sent here, but I still somewhat enjoyed it.  Mainly, I want to talk out everything with Princess Celestia.  Want was an un-descriptive term.  I need to talk this out.  This has all been really hard for me.  As much as I want to suppress it, it's not going away.

"Your pancakes, Sir.  Although If I may add... Beer and Pancakes don't really mix well."

I laughed.

"Well you see, I like to make unorthodox decisions on occasion."

"Well Sir, I have to say I won't necessarily be too happy if you request this meal combination again."  The mare began giggling and walked off.

"Jolly Joker eh?"  I mumble to myself as I began to dig into the stack of pancakes in front of me.  These pancakes are good!  Darn her for judging my taste in breakfast foods!

One bottle of Beer and Five Pancakes later...

I sat there full, and slightly buzzed from the drink that I just had.  In order to keep my coherence, I limited myself to one beer... gotta keep it together for the Princess.  My impatience to talk to her grew more each second I had to wait.  I would have talked to Moonlight but she was nocturnal.

"Damn."  I say under my breath as I replay the situation in my head.

"Are your bad choices catching up with you, Sir?"  I instinctively jerked, surprised to hear the mare's voice behind me.

"Not exactly, but you did scare me."  I turned around to get a good look at the pony.

"So why must you curse to yourself?"

"It's complicated.  But what I can say for sure is I want to talk to the Princess."  Hmm her voice sounds slightly different than the rest of the ponies.

"Which Princess?" She asks as her head turns to the side.

"At this point, I don't care... but if I need to talk to Princess Celestia."

"I may have heard Princess Luna was free..."  The chef said to me.

"If I could talk to her now, I would totally go for it."

"Well, you see I do have connections... and I could do that for you... but I need you to do something."

That's how they get 'ya.

"I'm listening..."

"Never, ever, make such a poor decision in food again.  I have spent the last fifteen years of my life cooking, and never once have had to make such a terrible meal!"  Her irritated tone implied she was very passionate about food.

"Done, now can I talk to the Princess?"

"Yes, follow me."

The chef led the way down many hallways and corridors to a very specific hall.  The hallway was dark, lit dimly by twinkling stars overhead.  Wow.  That's beautiful!  Constellations formed on the ceiling, but I could not make out what they were.  She lead me to a door with a crescent moon on it.  Two bat-ponies guarded the door, one looked very exited at our arrival.

"Good day Miss Waters!"  The grey furred pony responded.

"Hello Love, handsome as always I see."  She flirted with the stallion.  Ohhhh I see... she does have connections...  "Can you let my new friend see the Princess?  He is the special guest after all."

"Let me check dear."  He beamed as he walked inside.

The guard reapeared a couple of seconds later, nodding at me.  I began to walk to the door when the other guard stopped me.

"Remember, be respectful around the Princess."  He snarled as I walked through the door, with new found anxiety.

Here goes nothing.

"Ahh! Hello human friend!  I am Princess Luna, my sister has indeed told me about thou."  The blue pony greeted as she turned around from a desk.

"Hello Princess Luna.  I am Chris, it's very nice to meet you." I bow out of respect.

"Thou needest not to bow in my presence, we are friends."  She smiled at me as I recovered from the bow.

"I'll make sure I remember for next time Princess."

"Nonsense! Thou shall call us Luna, and only Luna!"  Her smile seemed to put me at ease.

"Ok Luna!"

"So what brings you here today?"  She asks as I start to feel uneasy.

"Personal matters... Can I sit somewhere?"

"Ok, of course.  You may sit here."  She motions as she points to her bed.  I walk over and sit down on the bed, followed by Luna.  Luna climns on the bed and makes herself comfortable.  "Now about the topics?"

"Well it's hard to say... I don't know where to start."  I said beginning to think about what I was going to say.

"Our sister has briefed us on the situation." Her head tilted to the side as if she was trying to figure something out.

"I don't know how I got here.  I don't know why I'm here... Talking ponies... it's all very hard for me to take in..."  I say looking at the dark blue sheets on the bed.  Luna gave me an empathizing look, letting me feel a little more comfortable.  "I feel like I was placed here for a reason... but I can't make heads or tails of anything."

"I understand this must be very unusual to thou... And we do feel very sorry for you.  May we be the first to try to calm thou by saying we are glad to have you here?"  I sat there looking at Luna.  Just looking, not feeling, or even thinking.

"You're glad to have me here?"

"Why of course dear Chris.  We are quite enthused at your unexpected arrival on our planet."  I looked into her green eyes and felt confused.

"I just feel like something isn't right... Like I'm not going to be able to go home."  I let my emotions through for a second.

"Maybe there is a way for thou to return to thy native land?"

"I don't feel like it is possible..."

The dam in my heart that I had locked away since I realized I was stuck here suddenly broke.  I could no longer hold the feelings back.  I could no longer pretend it was ok.  Nothing right now was ok.  I began to cry as I just looked at her.

"I really don't know where I am anymore..."  The tears started to fall faster.  "Where's my family?!  My room?  My car?  My LIFE!!!"  I started to mumble in sorrow as the tears kept running down my face.

"There, there Mr. Chris... Everything will be just fine.  Calm thyself, and stow away your fears."  The princess whispered softly in my ear as I felt her blue hooves gently wrap around my body.

"Luna... I-I Don't know anym-More!  I'm dead... I have to be..."

"Don't say that Chris, we promise thou art very much alive..."

"O-Ok just let me please..."  My hands pulled Luna closer.  I sat there crying, hugging Luna as I tried to calm myself down.  "I'll be ok... I promise."

"We know the undesirable feelings all too well Chris, I'm sorry you are enduring this now."

"Its ok, with time I think I'll make it!" I say with confidence as my crying begins to cease.  "I've been through worse."

Luna jerked back slightly at what I said confused.  She looked at me with an expression of raw disbelief.

"Back in 'Nam... Viet-cong surrounded us.  I had one clip left..."  I say in a fake deep accent.

"What is thou talking about?"

"No need to worry about it..."  I laughed internally at the Vietnam joke that no one got.

"If thou insists...  So does thou like the moon?"  Luna asked me with excitement.

"I think it's beautiful, but I don't know much about it." I saw Luna's eyes get bigger... staring into mine with anticipation.

"Thank you Chris, would you mind seeing it tonight with us?  We can tell thou all about the moon and stars!"

"Yes that would be awesome!  I'll have to tell Moonlight Song about it though, she's in your guard right?"

"Why yes she is.  A very talkative pony at that.  She is thou's personal guard to watch over thine slumber."  She said scratching her hoof on her chin.  "If we do remember correctly."

"That's right, she's really nice.  Can I ask you a question Luna?"  Her eyes meet my question with a raised expression.

"Yes?"

"Why do you use old english?"

"Old English?  Does thou mean old Equuesta?"  She asks, countering my question.

"I guess, why do you say thou and art?"

"I think it's nicer... and we haven't exactly caught the latest fashions..."  Her posture droops a little, along with her ears.

"I think it's nicer as well, very cute... that's for sure."  She blushes and giggles.

"Thou thinks we art cute?"  She giggles some more.  "Thous words dost improve our mood in a way that we enjoy."  I begin to laugh slightly at the way she worded that last phrase.

"Anyways, can you tell me more about yourself?"

"Well we arrange the stars... Rule the night, raise the moon, have a holiday named after us."  I can see her deep in thought.

I sat there just baffled.  She can raise the moon?  Arrange the stars?!  What?  It was at this time I fully realized everything that I saw.  Luna was almost as big as Celestia, just slightly shorter.  Her mane flowed like Celestia's, but it was dark blue... and full of stars.  Each star took a turn to sparkle every now and then, leaving me lost for words.  Her crown was black and shorter than Celestia's.  I think I like Luna more than Celestia... Just don't tell Celestia that just yet!  Bluntly put... she's beautiful.  She had green eyes that let on more than the average person, something I really liked about her.

"Wait.  You arrange the stars?"

"Yes, we do."

"You have to be joking right?" I say still taken back by what she said.

"Well we are not.  We really do have the task."

"You're amazing... I mean! That's awesome!"  My mouth slips.  I look over at Luna and see her slightly blushing.  "Like I never knew... I wish I knew more about the stars.  I think they are beautiful, but I know nothing about them... I just look on in amazement."

"Your words are too kind Chris!  Later tonight, Thou will get to know them as much as you desire."  She smiles, taking my complement to heart.

"Does thou play music?  We heard a rumor that thou asked for instruments and a recording device."

"Yes I do... and I did.  I asked Celestia, and they are supposed to be installed in my room today."

"What is thou's favorite type of music?"  She asks intrigued.

"Punk rock."

"What is punk?"  Her face shifts to a sudden glare of confusion.

"Well punk is a mindset.  It's a way to vent frustration."  I say shrugging.  How does one even explain Punk?

"Oh I see, will thou be recording this punk music?"

"Yes, I was planning to record an album."  I let out debating on what to call my band.

A pony knocks on the door and walks in.  I quickly saw it was the guard from my room.

"Sir, Your instruments are installed.  Princess."  He bows to her and walks out again.

Yes!!!!!