Not This Idiot...

by Dr Atlas

Rating: everyone
Tags: Romance, King Sombra, Queen Chrysalis, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 3674

After her defeat, Chrysalis flies to the LAST place she'd go at a time like this.

She would rather stay in a cave,
she would rather blend into their society,
she would rather find a box and live in it,
she would rather be ANYWHERE but there,
but she knew he could help; that he could aid her in her plans of revenge.
If only he wasn't such an idiot...a stupid, lazy, adorable idiot.

Published 2016-10-23 20:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-10-23 20:30:01 UTC

I've Been Waiting~

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

With another loud snore, and a flick of his ear, Sombra continued laying on the couch, a book covering his eyes and his left arm dangling off the edge of his makeshift bed. His mind and body were exhausted from doing absolutely nothing productive yesterday, and today he wanted it to be no different.

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

Another round of knocks came, forcing Sombra to stir in his half asleep state. He slurped in his hung out tongue and breathed deeply through his nose, not wanting to do anything but lay on his poorly taken care of couch.

*KNOCK KNOCK*

Sombra groaned and turned in his slumber, his book now covering his right ear. He did this in hopes that no more noise would enter his life at this moment, but that hope was crushed by another round of knocking. He put his hoof on top of the book to help, but to no avail.

It took five more knocks for Sombra to weakly open his eyes and take the book off his face, his head craning to the door that was behind him. “Okay! okay...I’m comin’.” He grumbled as he rolled off his couch, landing on the wood floor with a thump, he managed to sit up and stretch, his back popping in the process. He sighed and took his first step, almost falling over from doing so.

With a loud yawn, he made his way to the front door of his apartment, having many thoughts on who was at the door. He rubbed his eyes and grabbed hold of the handle, turning it and swinging it open. “Listen, if this is about the rent, I’ll give it to ya next-” Sombra’s voice went still the second he opened the door, his eyes going wide the second he laid eyes on what was in front of him. “Week…” He managed to finish as the took a step back, still trying to comprehend what was standing at the door.

It had been over a thousand years since the last time he saw her, she was taller, had longer hair, a slender body. Even with all these new features, he still knew who she was. She was the girl he had fallen for, the creature who he had been with for so long, the beautiful monster he loved. He did nothing but stare at her. As for the tall, slender, changeling queen, she could do nothing but sigh in annoyance at his expression. She ended up clearing her throat and saying something that confirmed Sombra’s thoughts. “Hello, Sombra…”

“Ch...Chr...Chrysalis?” The past king could only blink in response, still trying to focus his eyes on her. Part of him thought this was a dream while the rest of him knew he was almost wide awake.

The creature in front of him just shook her head at this and continued talking. “M-May I come in?” She asked in a rather annoyed tone.

Sombra blinked a few more times before nodding. “Oh! Uh, y-yes yes, come in!” He stepped out of the way to give Chrysalis enough room to walk in. “Uh...please, make yourself at home.” He then noticed the state that his apartment was in, clothes on the floor, food on the table in front of his couch, books piled behind the table, and trash scattered almost everywhere. “Uh...s-sorry about the mess, I...didn’t expect company...heh…” He chuckled and shut the door, but his laugh died down the longer her back was turned to him.

With nothing but silence in the room, Sombra decided to ask first. “So, uh, w-what brings you back, Chrysie? Did you come back to remember-”

“Don’t call me that…” Chrysalis said in a menacing tone. “Hearing that name is the last thing I want coming out of your mouth right now.”

Sombra didn’t seem phased by her tone and smiled. “Oh, come now, Chrys, what’s wrong with that name, you found it adorable, didn’t you?”

Her eye twitched. “Sombra, I didn’t come here to be reminded of my past mistakes.”

“Then are you hungry?~” He asked with a raise of his brow.

Chrysalis held back her nasty words and tried staying calm. “I didn’t come here for that either. It was an absolute nightmare finding you to begin with! I thought for sure you were still out in the snowy plains, with nothing but a horn for your body!”

Sombra continued smiling. “I was for a while, but I ended up getting my pony form back and finding my way out, but I will say it was quite the journey.” He raised he brows twice. “But I’m sure you came all this way for something special?”

With an annoyed sigh, Chrysalis started explaining. “I came here for help, not for memories!”

Sombra stepped closer. “But don’t you remember? When we first me at the library? When it was just you and me reading about the dark arts of magic, we were so young back then.”

“Sombra, listen to me when I say these words.” She went eye to eye with him. “I. Don’t. CARE! The only thing I care about right now is you helping me destroy those ponies!”

“Destroy ponies?” It took Sombra a while to put the pieces together. “Ooooh, I get it, you want my help.” He bowed. “Well, if there’s anything I can do for my queen, it’s helping her and her entire swarm deal with-”

“I don’t have them anymore…” She said with a slight tone of sadness.

Sombra flicked his ear, thinking he heard that incorrectly. “You...don’t have an army?”

Chrysalis turned away. “I lost everything, Sombra...they took it all away from me?”

“Who did?”

Chrysalis shot a glare at him. “Who do you think!? It was those wretches ponies! All of them! Every single one of them took away my children, my kingdom, my home...m-my last chance of finding food, m-my-my...my only hope at...at…” Chrysalis held her hoof to her eyes, trying to collect herself.

Sombra was a little surprised to see her like this. In an effort to comfort her, he reached out to her. “Calm down, Chrysie. Why don’t you tell me what happened.”

The second Chrysalis felt the hoof on her shoulder, she stopped her cries and quickly stepped away, not wanting any physical contact between the two of them. “I’m sure you aren’t aware of what happened to me a year ago, I take it?”

Sombra scratched his head. “If memory serves me right, you tried taking over Canterlot and ended up getting thrown across Equestria?”

Chrysalis was surprised to hear this. “Uh...y-yes, actually. H-How did you know?”

Sombra held his head high. “A couple months after my demise, I heard about a certain changeling queen trying to take over Equestria in the news. Truth be told, I was going to find you, but I had a feeling if you wanted my help, you would’ve come for it, correct?”

Chrysalis wanted to tell him she thought he was dead and that hearing about his death only fueled her plans for revenge, but she held back those words and said, “Right...b-but do you know about anything that happened to me recently?”

Sombra thought harder. “Uh...the only thing changeling related I heard was about some bug coming into this town and being accepted into pony society. I thought it was some plan you had, so I tried talking to him, but either he’s a really good actor, or he just wasn’t apart of your swarm...I take it it’s the later.”

Chrysalis nodded. “That bug betrayed us...but he’s not my main concern, it’s...her.”

Sombra had a few guesses. “Who? Twilight? Cadenza? That purple lizard?”

“Starlight Glimmer.” Chrysalis said, sounding as if it were the foulest words that could come out of her mouth.

“Starlight who?” Sombra had never heard of the name.

“Starlight Glimmer!” The queen exclaimed again. “She foiled my plans! I had everything set up, I brought every single pony that stood in my way! Twilight, her friends, that royal couple, even the princesses! I took every single one of them and brought them to my cave, taking them out of the picture as I prepared to take over Equestria!...but little did I know, Glimmer and her rag tag bunch of friends ended up taking me down...I should’ve taken her out from the start. At least I was able to get away from them...still don't know why they just let me go, though.”

Sombra had to back up. “L-Let me get this straight, you managed to ponynap every single pony you thought would stand in your way, but some other mare ended up defeating you? And after all that they just...let you fly away?”

Chrysalis dragged her hoof across her face. “Her, that magic mare, that mutant goat, and that TRAITOR child, Thorax! He left the hive and now he’s the king of it!”

“A child of yours is now a king of your entire hive?” Sombra frowned. “I have to say, that’s...some bad luck right there.”

“Tell me about it. At least I wasn’t blasted to pieces like you. I wouldn’t tell you how surprised I was to hear that from my children.” Finally finishing her story, she was curious on what he was doing. “So, what have you done so far?”

Sombra raised an eye. “Uh...what?”

Chrysalis went deadpan, hating to rephrase the question. “What have you been doing to get revenge on Sparkle?”

Sombra blinked. “Revenge?” He tapped his chin. “Well, uh, Chrysie, when ya get blasted to over a hundred pieces, have your horn flung clear across Equestria, and have it land in the winter tundra for months on end, it kinda...makes you think for a bit while your true form molds back.”

“About what?” Chrysalis asked, dreading what he was coming at.

Sombra shrugged. “I thought about a couple things, like, what I was doing, what the ponies were going through, what my plans were about...I started thinking that...maybe ruling over everything isn’t cut out for me.”

Chrysalis’s jaw dropped. “T-That’s what you think!? W-why weren’t you thinking about any of this when you were frozen for a thousand years!?”

Sombra scratched the back of his neck. “I went kinda insane during all that time, not only that, but the dark magic was still kinda going haywire in my body, but now...I don’t feel it anymore. It’s like that blast took it all away from me, and now all that’s left is this horn right here!” He tapped his still red horn, smiling. “I feel like a brand new stallion!”

Chrysalis was about to yell again, but her eyes laid on an open book on the ground, her eyes going wide once she read the title. “W-What about this!?” She held up the work of literature with her magic that said in bold letters ‘The Dark Side of Magic’. “Don’t lie to me when I can see it right here!”

Sombra took the book out of her grip and closed it. “Hey, dark magic or not, it’s still a pretty great read.”

Chrysalis’s hopes were soon diminishing. “B-But you can still control it, right?”

Sombra opened the book and flipped through the many pages, his eyes glowing with faint purple smoke coming off his eyes. “Uh...I think so?” He shut the book, his eyes going back to their regular state. “But it’s not like I’m gonna use it again, this stuff gave me some pretty bad headaches.”

Chrysalis knew she had to get to the point. “Sombra, I really hate saying this...but, I need your help! I need that magic!”

Sombra put the book on a nearby cracked table. “But my life's been amazing ever since it got out of my life, I mean, look at where I live, ain’t it a great place?”

Chrysalis didn’t even need to look at his apartment to tell that was an outright lie, she could even smell how awful this place is. “You live in rat infested home that’s barely big enough to support you!” She went eye to eye with him. “How can you chose this instead of a castle!”

Sombra crossed his front legs. “It is not a rat infested dump! It’s a roach infested dump, and I don’t need some big castle to live my life in.”

Chrysalis tried to think of something to convince him this was horrible, then it hit her, the one thing Sombra loved more than anything else in the world. “What about stairs?”

Sombra opened his mouth to objects, but shut it once he realized he had no stairs in this place, in fact, he was at the first floor of this complex. He then realized he hadn’t climbed a single step in such a long time. Taking this sudden realization in, he breathed in and said, “I...I don’t need stairs in my life anymore!”

Chrysalis narrowed her eyes, knowing the looks this pony gave to stairs were about as good as the looks he gave her. “Sombra, this is pathetic, the only thing that I’m impressed by is how long you’ve survived like this. I expected ponies to throw you in jail the second they find you!”

Hearing this, Sombra lightly wagged his tail, glad to hear her mention this. “Oh, I doubt ponies will know who I am with these!” He lit up his horn teleported a pair of reading glasses in front of him. “I took a page out of your book and enchanted these glasses to change who I am on the outside.” He demonstrated by putting the glasses on, smiling as he erupted in purple flames and changed into a normal pony. “Now no one screams at me as I go to the store to buy pudding.”

Chrysalis smacked the glasses off his face, changing him back. “Okay, one, green fur and a blue mane with purple eyes does NOT make you a normal pony, second, are you telling me that you’ve had no thought or attempt at getting revenge for what those ponies did to you, I-I mean, for queen’s sake, they blew you to pieces!”

“I was kinda my fault to begin with, Chrysie. I did enslave a whole empire…”

The queen’s eye twitched. “B-But you told me the only reason you wanted to take over the empire was because of the cruel ponies around you and how much power you truly wanted! Y-You even managed to control the power with the amount of hatred you had for those who bullied you!”

Sombra rolled his eyes. “Yeah, but it wasn’t really the way I should’ve gone about things, I mean, sure they were very mean with all the name calling and the laughing and the rude remarks, but I’m pretty sure they got what they deserved when I took over, and, to me, that’s punishment enough.”

The queen’s eye twitched. “Sombra, I saw it in your eyes! You hated everypony who lived in the Crystal Empire! You wanted nothing but power and control over every single one!”

Sombra shrugged. “But I found out that ruling isn’t cut out for me, I mean, what happens after everything? I’m pretty sure my kingdom would fall apart at some point and time, heck, I had no idea what I was gonna do once they mined all the crystals in the city. Looking back at it now, it was a pretty stupid plan, I’m sure you’ve done things like that, right? Things that lead to you realizing it was your fault to begin with?”

The gears in the queen’s brain went off track after everything he said. “I-I didn’t do ANYTHING to deserve this, Sombra!”

“First stage is denial, Chrysie.”

Chrysalis grabbed him by his neck and pulled him in. “Listen, you overgrown colt! I haven’t seen you for over a thousand years, and when I heard you constantly talk about the crystals and the slaves you wanted when we were together, I thought you would become more powerful than anyone I have ever met! And with that power we would get revenge on all those who opposed us!” She threw him to the ground, still glaring at him. “But it would seem I was wrong. I was wrong about many things about you, especially what we had for each other!”

Sombra stood up, feeling a little offended. “Hey! That dark power took hold of me! It changed who I was! It Wasn’t my fault it told me that you would make me weak if you stayed around!”

“I was a princess at the time!” The queen yelled. “A changeling princess who was learning to become a powerful queen, and all you were was a lone pony who sat in a library all by himself with no one else to love him! You were nothing but a pathetic loser!”

Sombra stomped the ground. “That’s not...not…” Sombra trailed off, knowing she was right. “Okay, fine, it is, but I was different when it came to you! I gave you something that no one else ever gave you!”

Chrysalis’s eyes were starting to glow with anger. “You gave me nothing but heartbreak after everything we’ve been thought! I was left alone while you ran off to rule the empire! You forced me to go back home and taught me that NO ONE will ever love me!”

Sombra closed his eyes. “That’s not what I gave you…”

“Then what!?” Chrysalis started lighting up her horn. “What great and amazing thing did you give me! A hug? A kiss? A ‘I love you’? Because none of that means anything after what you-”

“A chance…”

Chrysalis’s horn fizzled and her eyes dimmed down the second he uttered those words. “W-what?”

Sombra opened his eyes, looking up at her. “I gave you a chance...a chance to be yourself, a chance to show who you really are; a chance at love.” He stepped closer. “Chrys...what did I say when I found out who you really were?”

Even though it was a long time ago, Chrysalis knew the exact words, but she refused to say them. “I...I don’t remember…” She lied.

Sombra kept a straight face. “I didn’t yell, I didn’t scream, I didn’t call you a monster. I said, in the calmest and caring way possible: ‘why are you here?’”

Chrysalis couldn’t tear away from his gaze. “Y-You didn’t even call me a monster…”

“I really cared about you, Chrysie. The real you, not the pony you tried to be.” He didn’t break eye contact as he continued. “Now, let me ask you this: what did I tell the other ponies about you when they asked if you were the reported changeling spy?

Chrysalis turned away. “Sombra…”

Sombra put his hoof under her chin and turned her head forward, wanting to see her eyes again. “I said no...because I knew you were just an innocent creature who deserved a chance at love, am I wrong?”

“Sombra, I don’t-”

“Am I wrong?” Sombra said again, wanting to hear an answer, but the only thing Chrysalis did was step away, not looking at him. He sighed at this, knowing this was going to be personal. “Listen, Chrysalis. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to abandon you. I was too caught up in my plans to remember who I was to you. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

Chrysalis continued having her back to him. “But you did, Sombra. You left me behind and ruled that empire by yourself, and when I heard about how those two sisters sealed you away...I was beside myself, I didn’t know whether to feel happy or sad…My mother just told me to ignore it, that you were nothing but food for us…”

“But I was more than that, wasn’t I?” Sombra said, smiling. “I was a lot of things, a student, a geek, a reader, a coltfriend,” He stepped closer. “a lover~”

Chrysalis couldn’t hold in her smile. “You were such an idiot back then as well…”

Sombra laughed. “Okay, I was that too, but I really cared for you, Chrysie, and I still do!” He turned to the book, a wicked smile spreading across his face. “You know I’d do anything for you.”

Smiling evilly, she turned to Sombra. “Then you’ll help me?”

Sombra picked up the book and looked deep into its pages, his eyes starting to glow again. “You want my help? You want my magic? You want me hoof in taking down those that took you down? Because I’ll give you power that’s stronger than anything you’ve ever seen.”

Chrysalis held her head high. “And what will you require of me in return?”

Sombra shut the book and closed his eyes, a purple mist coming off the sides, he could feel the anger again, the power he once had, he knew he could get it again, but not alone. With evil thoughts going through his head, he looked up at Chrysalis with glowing green eyes. “To make Equestria burn for what they did to us!”

Chrysalis started chuckling, Sombra joining in as well. It only took seconds for them to reel their heads back and laugh, knowing this would be the start of a new reign of terror thought Equestria, a new day to rule over all who opposed them, a dark hour to take over-

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

The laughter died down and Sombra turned to the door, his eyes going back to normal again. “Uh...W-Who is it?” He asked weakly.

“Yo, Mr. Sombrero, It’s Mike! Ya got the rent check yet? It’s been a while.”

Sombra sighed while Chrysalis smiled at him. “Your alias is Sombrero?”

“Mister Sombrero!” Sombra corrected. “Now...uh, excuse me for a second.” He picked up his glasses off the floor and put them on, making his way to the door, Chrysalis just shook her head at this, knowing Sombra was still the same after over a thousand years.

“Still an idiot...an adorable idiot.”

Author's Note

Call it a hunch, but I feel like these two will team up in a future episode sooner or later...
Hopefully...