The F.O.A.L.S

Razzle Dazzle DID NOT have an anger problem. His mother had said so, but he had told her it wasn’t true. His friends had said so, but he had told them it wasn’t true. His teacher had said so, but he had told him it wasn’t true. Even the schoolyard bully had said so, yet he had told her it wasn’t true. Razzle Dazzle is not an angry pony…

SLAM!

Now, a pony of extreme irritation? That, no doubt, he was.

“How many times do I have to tell you…” He started off low, slowly raising his head to reveal the red-mark that was now below his horn from having hit his head on the table so hard. “That it is NOT. THE SAME!” He shrieked, waving his hooves like a mad-stallion. In front of him, two colts gave him an unsure look and gave the flier in their hooves an unsure look as well. Two colts who were known for being the most irritating of the quaint little village known as ponyville...

“Wait, Wait, Wait. Let me get this straight.” Snips said, his squeaky voice and attempt at trying to decode Razzle’s explanation again causing the white-coated unicorn to groan loudly, throwing his face into his hooves. “You’re telling me this organization of yours ISN’T like the Cutie Mark Crusaders?”

Razzle slowly slid his hooves down and gave the ceiling a pure look of annoyance before sighing and looking back at Snips and Snails. He hated these two. He hated these two more than Rainbow Dash, he hated these two more than Diamond Tiara, and he swore to Faust herself, he hated these two more than Princess Celestia! He’d admit, half of the community didn’t exactly view him in a positive light, and the feelings were mutual, but if they could just see the PURE IDIOCY he had to deal with, they’d know why.

“Yes, Snips.” Razzle said. “Like I’ve said for the past Twenty. Bucking. Times.” Each word was met with a pound on the table. “This isn’t like the Cutie Mark Crusaders. This is WAY different from the Cutie Mark Crusaders. In no way, shape, or form does this organization have ANYTHING to do with cutie marks and capes!” He explained slowly, knowing the foals would need it. He sighed loudly as he watched Snails raise his hoof. Son of a bi-”Yes, Snails?”

“Is this a club?”

“ORGANIZATION!” Razzle quickly interjected, causing the patrons of Sugarcube Corner to give the table occupied by the three foals a look. “It’s an Organization.”

“Yeaaaaah.” Snips said slowly, giving his brother a look that showed he wasn’t convinced, before pointing at the flier again. “It’s just that a whole clu-” He watched Razzle shake in irritation. “Organization that helps the ponies in Ponyville kinda sounds like a Cutie Mark Crusader thing.”

“This isn’t about the cutie marks, though.” Razzle said, giving Snips a death glare. “It’s about helping ponies with problems that they can’t solve themselves! The CMC only aim for cutie marks! We aim for the ACTUAL problems.

“But isn’t their thing helping ponies too?”

“I JUST BUCKING TOLD YOU THE DIFFERENCE!” Razzle stressed. “They don’t even help other ponies look for theirs! They just help those in the group!” He exclaimed, not realizing just how invalid this statement would seem as time went on and certain events arises.

“And isn’t it kinda weird how you have three members and they have three members?” Snails inquired slowly, causing Razzle to wince.

“That’s because...no one else is joining at the moment…” Razzle coughed.

“And to add on to what Snails said, you guys have a unicorn, a pegasus, and an earth pony. And so does the CMC. Soooo…” Snips trailed off. Razzle closed his eyes and breathed in. And then breathed out.

"Look-"

"Yeah, and aren't the elements of harmony here to help us with our problems now?" Snips.

"That's FRIENDSHIP pro-"

"Then what about Mayor Mare?" Snails.

"She can barely run Ponyville as it is no-"

"And why is it called Foals? Why does it even stand for?" Snips.

"Force of adorable little sleu-"

"Wait, why is adorable in the name? Kinda sounds weird." Snips again. Hooray.

"The title was Polly's-"

"And don't you think-?"

"SHUT THE BUCK UP!"

The whole chatter of Sugarcube corner stopped and everyone turned to see Razzle had thrown the cups of apple juice aside, hooves on the table as he leaned forward and growled at the two shivering colts. Finally, he leaned back and sighed loudly, face-hoofing

“Look, did you two come here to rapidly deplete my brain cells, or did you two come here to ask to join?” He said, watching as the two looked at each other. To be honest, Razzle had expected them to do both.

“Uhm...w-we actually don’t want to join.” Snips said, chuckling nervously. Razzle’s eyes widened and his jaw went agape. The whole table was thrown into silence as the colt just stared at them, the two colts staring back at him with confusion.

“We just came because the flier said we’d get free food during the interview.” Snails had added with a dopey smile. Silence again. They watched as Razzle began to shake and sweat. “...Razzle? Are you OK?” A vein visibly throbbed on the colt’s forehead. “Uuuh….” His eyes were now rapidly twitching. Still confused, and a little scared, Snails leaned next to his brother. “Snips. What do I do? He’s not answering.”

“Don’t worry, buddy.” Snips whispered back. “I got this.” Clearing his throat and straightening his back, he gave Razzle a sly businessman look. “Since we answered your questions, I guess that means we still get the food right? ...Right?”

The sound of a chair scooting back was heard.

“Wh-Why are you getting up?”

Five minutes later

“AND DON’T COME BACK!”

Razzle was soon thrown snout first into the ground outside Sugarcube Corner. Shaking his head, he glared at Ms.Cake, Nurse Redheart right next to her as the two mares glared back. Hearing the groans of two particular ponies who had cupcakes punched into their eye and horse shoe-print shaped bruises on their bodies, the two mares snorted and harrumphed at the colt before turning away and slamming the door. Growling, Razzle sighed and ran a hoof through his red and black spiky mane, giving the crumpled up F.O.A.L.S flier in front of him a frown.

“I hope Bolt and Polly are doing better.” Razzle grumbled, picking up the note and slowly trotting away from the establishment. As he trotted, a familiar colt with a brown coat galloped in front of him.

“Hey, Razzle!” Button mash said excitedly, waving the flier in button’s face. “I saw your flier! Man, today is getting so weird! First I can’t find my console and now the CMC got their name cha-”

Five more minute later

Razzle soon walked away from the twitching form on the ground, the black eye the gamer sported most likely being the cause of the soon-to-be wrath of his mother Razzle would have to face. Razzle smiled, knowing it was all worth it in the end.