The Conversion Bureau: Dinner Among Friends

by Mray

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe
Length: 12771

A series of scenes in the the Conversion Bureau multiverse, mostly set at group meals.

A series of scenes in the Conversion Bureau multiverse, mostly set at meals. The story mainly follows two long time friends, Saul and Alan, and focuses on how they relate to other OC's, each other, and the rapidly changing world around them.

Published 2011-11-29 06:22:00 UTC
Last updated 2011-11-29 06:33:13 UTC

Act I: Part I

The Conversion Bureau: Dinner Among Friends

Act I, Part I

A ‘My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic’ Fan Fiction by Mray

Original concept from “THE CONVERSION BUREAU” by Blaze

From the Author: This is the first bit of MLP: FiM fan fiction I’ve ever written. Any feedback or constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated.

Act I, Part I

-0.25 A.F.C. (3 months After First Contact) DFW Metroplex, Texas-

“So, you hear about these ponies up in New York?” The young man asked, his eyes bright as he tilted his head forward, peeking over the Lennon eyeglasses that rested on the end of his nose, leaning on the table toward the other human.

On the other side of the booth, his friend took a long, slow drink from his forth glass of Coke, draining it a quarter of the way before setting it down and answering, “What about them?” He responded with his own question, picking up his silverware and beginning to cut a small strip from the sirloin on his plate.

The man’s visage fell slack, his mouth hanging open for a moment before he blinked, “What about them? Saul, we’ve got another species of sentient beings on our own planet, with lifespans measured in centuries, technology so advanced that they themselves can only describe it as ‘magic,’ and the ability to transform humans into more of themselves, with all the benefits that implies, lifespan included.” The dirty-blond headed man prodded into his large chicken ceasar salad, lifting a forkful to his lips, “I thought…” he continued, placing the morsel into his mouth, quickly chewing and swallowing, “…that you, of all people, would be all over this.” He finished, taking another chunk of salad.

Saul, in the meantime, had slowly lifted the first strip of meat to his lips, his nostrils twitched slightly as he inhaled the scent of seared and seasoned sirloin steak, taking it into his mouth, closing his eyes, and giving a low hum of appreciation, chewing slowly as he drew the juice out of it, savoring the first bite of the evening. His friend took several more bites from his salad, chewing through each one rapidly, keeping his eyes locked on Saul’s closed ones as he ate, but not speaking. Finally, Saul swallowed and opened his eyes, adjusting the maroon tie around his neck, “For the record,” he said, smiling slightly, “I am ‘all over’ this; I’ve been following it as close as I can. I just don’t see any reason in getting excited over it,” He lifted the next strip, “At least not yet.”

“What do you mean?” his friend responded back, “This is everything you and I have ever talked about! That humanity would be humbled by meeting another species, especially one with more advanced tech then us, and that we’d grow up as a species because of it…”

Saul quickly set down the fork in his left hand and held it up, palm out as he chewed, quicker this time, now that his first bite was out of the way, though still slow, savoring the meat as he maintained eye contact, before swallowing again, “I know, I know, but, here’s the thing Alan, that was all just talk and speculation concerning the possibility of a theoretical, generic, -other- species. We now have specifics. Things need to be re-evaluated. Add to it…” Saul continued speaking, picking his fork back up and using it in conjunction with his knife to fully split the baked potato that sat on his plate, just to the side of his steak, into two halves, spreading the butter, cheese, and bacon bits evenly across both steaming halves as he spoke, “…the fact that they’re offering something that neither of us ever considered: Assimilation.”

“Yeah, about that,” Alan began to speak as Saul’s fork dug into one half of the potato, lifting a large chunk with a generous amount of fixings to his mouth to be chewed, “Why exactly aren’t you at least excited about that part? I mean, you’re the one who’s always on-board with the next piece of tech that ‘advances’ humanity, Mr. Transhumanist.”

“Posthumanist,” Saul corrected, practically flicking another piece of potato into his mouth and swallowing, before returning to cutting his steak, and speaking, Alan eating more salad as he did so, the crunch of a stalk of romaine lettuce calling from his mouth, “When I said I was in favor of ‘eliminating unnecessary aspects of the human condition,’ I didn’t mean we should become another species. I meant we should eliminate parts of ourselves that were…‘inconvenient:’ hunger, pain, disease, weakness, irrationality, mortality…this is an entirely different animal than the brain uploading, the cyber-enhancements, and the nanobots that wiped out the eco-plague here in the States. The tech isn’t adding onto or trimming away from the human base, it’s replacing the base outright.” He placed the meat in his mouth, chewed, and swallowed, before taking another drink of the soda, draining the 20 oz. glass halfway now, and continuing, “Furthermore, my idea of being a ‘Posthuman’ doesn’t involve being three feet tall, pastel, thumbless, and…well…sickeningly adorable…” Saul, however, smiled at his friend, “And what about you? You’re supposed to be the humanist out of the two of us. Where’s the stalwart defender of humanity I’ve argued with since third grade?”

“…”

“Alan?” Saul had lifted a forkful of potato to his mouth, and, after speaking to his friend, placed it past his lips.

“He’s…having second thoughts…” Alan looked down at his plate, picking up at taking a sip out of his near untouched glass of water.

Saul practically choked on the piece of potato in his mouth, “WHAT?!” he gasped, coughing and gagging,before swallowing, taking another gulp, draining his glass of the remaining ten ounces, and beating on his chest a few times, “Are…are you kidding? You…YOU…want to be a pony?”

“No…well…kind of…it’s complicated.”

“Enlighten me,” Saul had put his silverware down on his plate and scooted it to the side of the table, he interlaced his fingers as he leaned forward, resting them on the table as he did so. Alan remained silent though, simply looking down and not meeting his friend’s gaze. Saul’s eyes softened, and his body relaxed, “Alan…you’ve defended humanity against my opinions, my insults to their integrity and nature for as long as we’ve known each other. You’re the man who convinced me that at the very least mankind could be saved. And now…now you’re telling me you want to…give up you’re humanity? I just…I don’t understand…” Saul let out a sigh “Sorry…I’m not trying to be pushy…you don’t have to tell me if you don’t…”

“No…I do. I want to tell you,” his friend interrupted him and looked up, “It’s…it’s a combination of factors really…for one thing, the AI boom is spreading into Aerospace Engineering right now…I won’t be able to find a job in my field when I graduate next year.”

Saul nodded slowly, but didn’t interrupt, his eyes stayed focused on Alan’s even though his friend kept looking away. He did, however, glance to his left when the server started walking toward their table, apparently noticing his empty glass. Saul’s hand darted out, and made a quick waving motion with his hand, the server stopped and nodded, making brief eye contact with Saul, before turning and walking away to check on his other tables.

“Then there’s the fact that…well…I wouldn’t be human anymore…” He looked straight at Saul, eyes locking as he nodded to his friend.

“Why is that a good thing? From your perspective, that is,” Saul asked on the queue.

“Well, you know how we always talk. How I’ve…sometimes felt about humanity.”

“Yeah, you occasionally get bent out of shape over the actions of some psychopath, or some corporate crime that’s been uncovered, or you’ve found out some new, horrifying bit of history…it hurts you for a while but…you’ve always bounced back, especially when I start off with my ‘what do you expect’ routine.”

A smile flickered across Alan’s face, but disappeared a moment later“…Do you know the reason? The reason I always came back? Why I always defended humanity?”

Saul frowned and shook his head, looking down at the center of the table, “I thought I did…but from what I’m hearing…I can only guess.”

“Go ahead.”

Saul was silent for a moment, his interlaced fingers lightly giving a squeeze to the back of his hands as he thought, before speaking again, “…was it because…there was no other option, for you anyway. Humanity had to be good, because you couldn’t stand the thought that you were part of something…” Saul trailed off before continuing, “and…you see this is an opportunity to look at things from the outside, to remove any bias you might have…am I in the ballpark?”

“You’re close enough...I’d rather not get into specifics…”

Saul grimaced, but nodded, before motioning for his friend to continue, “There’s more.”

“Yeah. The third reason…well…” Alan bit his lip, his hands going into the pockets of the khaki shorts he wore as he looked down and shook his head. Saul, meanwhile, remained silent, his eyes focused on Alan’s, even as the other young man looked away, “It…it involves well…the chance that I’ll become a…a pegasus…”

Saul squinted his eyes for a moment, his mouth opening to begin to form the first syllable of ‘what,’ before he froze, his eyes growing wide and his mouth falling into an ‘o’ shape, “This is about the flying dream.” The words were spoken steadily, and had a finality to them that indicated that they were a statement, rather than a question. Alan slowly nodded all the same.

The steak-eater leaned back, running a hand through the cropped brown hair of his head before resting his nose on the index finger, fingers and palm curled to cover his mouth and chin. Her remained still for a brief moment, before lowering his hands to the table, “Okay,” he sighed, leaning toward his friend again, “…I understand.”

Alan looked up, eyes wide, “What I…I didn’t think…from the way you were talking I…”

Saul held up his hand, “I don’t agree, I don’t approve, I don’t even think that the option is worth considering,” He said, eyes focused on Alan’s, “But…I do understand…and I’ll support whatever decision you make, regardless of whether I like it or not.”

Alan’s mouth was hanging open, before he smiled and blinked a few times, “T-thanks man…I…thanks.”

“Don’t thank me,” Saul smiled, “You’re my best friend, it’ll take a lot more than you jumping the species barrier to change that.” The two humans laughed, “Now, my food’s getting cold, yours is getting warm, and we’ve officially met our quota for heavy stuff tonight. So, how about we get back to eating, and move to lighter topics?” He asked, sliding his plate back into position in front of him, picking up his silverware and beginning to cut.

“Sounds good to me,” Alan responded, giving a relaxed sigh as he stabbed into his salad again.

The waiter arrived a few moments later with a fifth glass of coke for Saul, “Thanks David,” He said, the server nodded in response, smiling at his two regulars before moving on, leaving the two friends to enjoy their meals and each other’s company.

Act I: Part II

The Conversion Bureau: Dinner Among Friends

Act I, Part II

A ‘My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic’ Fan Fiction by Mray

Original concept from “THE CONVERSION BUREAU” by Blaze

From the Author: Any feedback or constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated.

Act I, Part II

-0.28 A.F.C. (Two weeks later) DFW Metroplex, Texas-

Saul straitened his tie as he stepped out of the old Diesel/electric hybrid, hitting the lock button and closing the door behind him as he walked toward the entrance to the restaurant. He squinted his eyes as he looked over the parking lot, the sunlight glinting and reflecting off the few cars and the half dozen bicycles at the nearby rack stinging his eyes, before he smirked, “First as usual,” he said to himself as he pushed against the aging wooden door of the building, stepping inside. He quickly removed his hat and jacket, hanging them on the nearby rack before stepping into the restaurant proper, nodding to the hostess, and heading for his and Alan’s usual booth. As he sat down, David arrived with a glass of coke, a basket of rolls, and two pieces of cornbread, “Thanks man,” Saul smiled, before looking at the drink, “Am I really that predictable?”

“After once every two weeks for six years? Yes.” The waiter smiled back, “Should I just put in you and Alan’s orders now or…?”

“Go with the ‘or,’” The man responded, voice flat, though he had a grin plastered across his face as David walked away. Saul took a long sip of the soft drink, then grabbed the two cornbread squares from the basket at the center of the table and began to spread butter over them.

As he did so, he looked around the rest of the building. The booth’s position, in the corner, on a raised dais, combined with his own seat’s back being toward the wall allowed him to see the entire rest of the dining floor, along with the bar. Despite it being a Friday evening, the restaurant was nearly empty. A pair of families sat at two tables on the other side of the building, along with a quartet of teens at another booth, a young couple off cuddling in a dark corner, and a man at the bar, nursing a beer. Saul’s eyes shifted between each group in turn as he set down the two pieces, waiting for the butter to melt and soak into the porous appetizers, drinking as he did so.

He sat there like that for roughly ten minutes, David arriving with a fresh glass when he’d drained his first, before he saw a blur outside the window to his left, and smiled. Alan burst into the entryway, bike helmet still strapped to his head as he looked to the coat rack and sighed. He removed his helmet and hung it on the rack before entering and heading for the table, “How do you always get here first?” He asked, pushing his eyeglasses up and glaring at his friend, though the corner of his mouth twitched, threatening to turn into a smile.

“It’s called a car,” Saul grinned back.

“Yeah right,” Alan huffed in response, “I left twenty minutes early this time, and you still got here ahead of me. Explain that!”

Saul merely shrugged, sliding the bread-plate with the twin slices toward him across the table, “If it’s any consolation, I saved you first pick of the cornbread.”

“You do that every time,” Alan said, but picked up one of the squares, and bit half of it off as Saul picked up the bottle of honey that came with each basket, squeezed a small amount onto his own slice, and took a small bite, “So,” Alan began, finally smiling as he swallowed his first chomp before casually tossing the rest of his half into his mouth, “Life as a hated man still treating you alright?” He finished, grabbing a roll from the basket and tearing it in half, beginning to butter it.

The other young man smiled as he swallowed, the soft, savory corn-meal practically dissolving in his mouth, barely needing to be chewed. “I keep telling you, I’m not hated. The agency is. I’m just severely disliked.”

“You keep telling yourself that taxman.”

Saul only grinned in response, “At least it’s secure, you know the old saying, ‘Nothing can be said to be certain but…’”

“You’re right, you’re right, I DO know the old saying,” Alan grinned as he shook his head, placing the two halves of roll together, “Seriously though, how’ve you been? I haven’t heard from you since last time.” He asked, lifting the recombined roll to his mouth before pausing, “Is…is it about…”

“No,” Saul immediately said, taking another bite “Well, in a way…but not how you’re thinking.” The human placed the last bit of the cornbread into his mouth, chewing it for the small amount it required, tasting the butter and honey spread across the fluffy morsel before swallowing and washing it down with a gulp of soda.

Alan was silent, taking a large bite out of his roll, waiting for his friend to elaborate.

“I’ve been having a lot of extra work lately,” Saul finally continued, setting down his glass, “Apparently quite a few people are simply up and leaving for the coast to get…what’s the term they’re using for it…” He paused.

“Ponified.”

“Ponified, that’s it! In any case, they’re not setting their affairs in order before they skip town,” He shook his head, “Though from what I’m seeing, that’s part of the idea.”

“How do you figure?”

“What do I do for a living?”

“Oh…” Alan paused for a moment, pressing the rest of the roll into his mouth and chewing it up, “How many?”

“Four in the past week.”

Alan tilted his head, “That doesn’t sound so bad…don’t you go through about nine accounts a week.”

“Those are foreclosures, debt collections, or, at worst, back-tax audits,” Saul rubbed his temples, closing his eyes for a moment before picking up and draining his glass, “Relatively simple. With undeclared ponification, I have to find out what happened to them, fill out the paperwork to have their assets transferred to the Comptroller’s Office of Abandoned Property, withdraw money from their accounts to cover their debt and final taxes or, as was the case with two of my guys, they have too little cash in their combined accounts to pay off the creditors, and I need to fill out the paperwork to have their property liquidated, then to have it appraised, then finding an available, agency approved appraiser, then the paperwork to ask to set the price, then the paperwork to set the price, and…” Saul drifted off as he looked and gave a long, puffed sigh, “Sorry, I’m ranting, suffice to say it’s a lot of work, on top of my regular schedule.”

“You’d think they’d have a new agency to work all of that out.”

“They do, the National Conversion Bureau Commission, in fact, they give you the paperwork right before you check in for conversion” He shook his head again, “But they only have jurisdiction in New England, where the Bureaus are. So, that leaves guys like me at the IRS&DDC to clean up the mess.”

Alan leaned forward, “Is it that hard?”

“No, just tedious and drawn out. Most of the work is research into stuff the mark would already know, and the fact that there’s a lot more paperwork involved with transferring all those funds without the express written consent of the person.” Saul went to drink but found his glass empty, and frowned as he set it down and sighed, “They could literally fill out the forms necessary to cover everything in twenty minutes, without any consequences, where as I need at least twelve hours of research and filling out forms to achieve the same effects...still, I suppose I should expect as much…”

“Don’t start,” Saul’s smile came back at the command, the familiarity of old arguments coming to the fore. He leaned forward, raised his hand up to gesture, his mouth opening…before the sound of two glasses clicking as they were set on the table distracted him. David had returned with a pair of drinks, another coke for Saul and a glass of ice-water for Alan, “Hello Dave,” Alan said, turning toward the waiter and smirking widely as he glanced quickly back at Saul. Saul closed his mouth, his hand dropping to audibly hit the table as he too turned his attention to the server.

“Am I interrupting?”

“No…no, not really.” Saul said, his tone low, but amicable.

“Right, so, the usual I presume?”

Saul nodded, “Yeah but, switch the side to the sweet potatoes.” The waiter nodded scratching down the order on the ticket rapidly.

“Actually…I think I’ll try something new this week…” Saul and David both turned toward to Alan, who’s smile was thinner as his lips pressed together, his hands turning palm-up. Both the other men sighed and slumped slightly.

“Back in half an hour?”

“Yeah, half an hour.”

“Half an hour.” David set a menu in front of Alan on the table, then turned and headed toward the other side of the restaurant, scratching out an already filled in order on his pad.

Saul watched as the server left, then turned back to Alan, outer eyebrows lowered in a pained expression, “At least tell me you have some idea of what you want.”

“None” Alan grinned, eyes pinching together at the outer corners as he flipped open the menu and began to read. Saul picked up the newest glass of coke and began to drink…

-o-

It was roughly twenty-five minutes later, Alan was now flipping back and forth between two pages of the menu, one side of his mouth drawn up tightly and his eyes narrowed. Saul, in the meantime, had remained quiet off to the side, having since finished the drink given to him by David earlier, along with a second, and now half-way through a third, munching on rolls as he did so. He finally sighed and asked, “Any idea?”

“I can’t pick between the ‘grilled veggie sandwich’ and the ‘garlic shrimp pasta’…”

“Here, we’ll let the chance decide,” Saul said, pulling out a quarter, “Heads for the sandwich, tails for the pasta,” He said, setting the coin on his thumb to be flipped.

“Wait.”

“What?”

“We’ve been over this Saul, I can’t accept heuristics for something like this.”

Saul groaned, his palm reaching up to cover his eyes, “Heuristics is all you HAVE for something like this. You can’t choose between two equal, rough unknowns with a statistical approach.”

“First, the two being equal and unknowns is impossible; the two properties are mutually exclusive. Second, the two are neither equal nor unknown,” His eyes turned back to the menu, “I just haven’t found the significant factor that puts one as more desirable than the other.”

Saul sighed again, “On the first point: You knew what I meant, but I should have phrased it better. On the second,” He began, taking a quick gulp of soda, “There is no significant factor separating the two meals,” He gestured at the menu, “Both have roughly the same amount of nutritional value, both come with the same number of sides, and, I know that you’d find that both of those would taste roughly as good as each other. And…” Saul shifted forward in his seat, “There’s also the fact that heuristics is FASTER.”

“…fine,” Alan said, closing the menu and looking straight at Saul, “Flip the coin.”

His friend did so, the tiny bit of metal spinning through the air, catching the light for a moment before landing on the table, “Tails.”

“Ok,” The young man looked across the restaurant to David over his glasses, nodding to him.

David moved over quickly, “Ready to order?”

“I believe so,” Alan smirked, “I’ll have the Grilled Veggie Sandwich.”

“Wha…?” Saul began, but closed his mouth and leaned back in his seat.

The waiter looked back and forth between the two before shaking his head, “Got it, sides?”

“Well let’s see…” He said, beginning to open the menu again.

“No.”

“No.” The two men had spoken in unison, flatly. Alan merely chuckled and set the accursed packet of cardstock down.

“Kidding, kidding.” He said, “I’ll take the red beans and rice, and…the fried okra.”

David nodded and immediately left for the kitchen with the ticket, his legs moving just quickly enough to not be qualified as walking. Saul meanwhile, looked at Alan, who grinned at him, “Let me guess…” The dark haired human began.

“The significant factor was that one went against your forced heuristic decision, and the other didn’t.” There was a beat of silence between the two, Saul glaring at Alan from across the table, before both young men laughed.

“You drive me crazy sometimes. You know that right?”

“Yeah I know.”

Saul finished his drink, setting the cup at the edge of the table, “So,” he said, leaning forward, “Where were we?”

“You were about to beat on humanity for making your job harder.” Alan’s grin remained as he spoke, going for another roll.

“Right,” Saul chuckled as he took his own roll, the final one in the basket, splitting it in two with his knife and buttering one of the sides, “The moment is kind of gone. What about you? I’ve had my turn complaining for the evening, what about you? How’re classes going?”

Alan frowned as he put his roll back together, “I…” He hesitated, taking a bite to fill the silence as Saul looked on, “I actually stopped attending about a week ago.”

Saul’s smile disappeared and his brow furrowed as he leaned forward on the table, “Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Because you’re planning to get ponified?”

Alan nodded, “I just…I don’t see the point in spending my last couple of weeks on two legs chasing A’s,” He said, taking a sip of his water, and another bite of roll, “I mean, this…” He gestured to Saul, and to the surrounding room, “Has pretty much been the extent of my free-time since I started on my Master’s.” He set down his roll on his own bread plate, “Plus, I’d like to take advantage of these,” He lifted his hands and bent his thumbs several times, grinning, “for all they’re worth before I don’t have them anymore.”

“Understandable,” His friend lifted the roll half to his mouth and bit into it, slowly chewing and letting the taste spread over his tongue, lowering the half back down to the table as he did so, swallowing, “When are you planning to leave anyway?”

“A week from Sunday.” He answered.

“How’ve your parents taken it?”

“…”

Saul stopped eating, setting his roll down fully on his plate, “Alan…”

“They haven’t.”

“They…what?” Saul asked, eyes narrowing, his mouth opening on one side

“…I haven’t told them.” Saul’s eyes widened, the other side of him mouth falling open at the comment. Alan’s lips pressed together, “I know.”

“Alan…”

“I know.”

“You need to tell them.”

“I know. I know. I just…” He shook his head, “I’m nervous.”

“Nervous?” Saul’s mouth closed and his eyes returned to their usual size.

“It’s just that…well…I’m afraid that they’ll…react poorly.”

Saul was silent for a moment, “…you’re worried that your, YOUR, parents will reject you? Over getting ponified?”

“Well, yeah.” He said, “I mean, wouldn’t you?”

“To my parents, yes. To yours, no. In fact, I’d expect congratulations on being ahead of the curve.”

“What?”

“Think for a moment Alan. These are the parents that simply nodded in understanding when you told them that you didn’t share their faith, the parents who accepted that you didn’t want to go into alternative medicine or musical theatre like they did, and instead go for aerospace engineering. Hell, they’re the parents who, upon catching you smoking weed in your room, only criticized you for not using the bong properly and for leaving the blinds open!”

“Point taken…” Alan shook his head, “I guess I’m just nervous because…well after you…”

The corners of Saul’s mouth fell, as well as those of his eyes, “After I, the Posthumanist, generally in favor of alterations to mankind, didn’t approve of your getting ponified, you’re worried about how other people will react. Your parents included.”

Alan took another bite of roll.

“Are you going to tell them?”

“Yes.”

“Before you go?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll drop it then.” Saul said, leaning back, picking up his knife and buttering the other half of his roll, before picking the already bitten half and taking a bite, “So then, what are you planning to do on your last week with thumbs?”

Alan perked up slightly, “I have a few ideas. I was actually hoping that you’d help me come up with a few more and…maybe do a few along with me.”

“Sounds like a plan,” The friend said, smiling, finishing off his roll, “I have a few unused mental health days to take. What do you say I take Wednesday through Friday off and we have some fun out on the town?”

“Now THAT sounds like a plan.” Alan smiled, as David appeared out of the kitchen, carrying a tray of food, a setup table, and a fresh drink for Saul.

Act I: Part III

The Conversion Bureau: Dinner Among Friends

Act I, Part III

A ‘My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic’ Fan Fiction by Mray

Inspired by “THE CONVERSION BURAEU” by Blaze

From the Author: As always, any feedback or constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated.

Act I, Part III

-0.29 A.F.C. (one week later) Reunion Tower, DFW Metroplex, Texas-

Alan tugged at the collar of his button-down shirt as he sat down, adjusting his slacks as he did so, “You didn’t have to go through all this trouble man,” He smiled at his friend even as he winced, glancing around the room at the extensive décor.

Saul, in the meantime, thanked the Maitre d’ for the seats and took his own, sinking into the plush black leather, “It was no trouble,” He smiled back, “I know a guy back in the kitchen, so the reservation was free. And, even if it wasn’t, it’d be worth it.”

“How?”

“Well, you said you wanted to take advantage of your fingers and canine teeth, you jumped at the idea of a fondue place, and…”

Alan interrupted him, “When you said ‘There’s this little fondue restaurant I know’ I didn’t think you meant the second most expensive one in the city! How can you afford this?!”

“Alan, what do I do?” The blond-haired man gave a defeated sigh, opening one of the menus and grimacing, bespectacled eyes traveling over the prices, rather than the dishes themselves, “Come on man,” Saul smiled, “At least take a look at the view outside,” He said, gesturing to his right, Alan’s left, to the floor to ceiling glass and, more importantly, to the slowly revolving city beyond it, “You’ll need to get used to views like this. The sooner the better.”

“You know there’s no guarantee I’ll…”

“Not with that attitude you won’t,” The young man said, “Just…look.”

Alan turned, glaring out at the rising buildings, but his eyes slowly stopped squinting as he looked on. The towers of the city rose as high as and higher than the window, appearing either in the form of white obelisks or monoliths in the newer buildings, or the grand glass blocks and spires, their crystal facades sparkling and shining in the rapidly fading sunlight, that were the older structures from the turn of the century.

As the floor beneath them turned, more came into view. The old industrial and meat-packing districts. The railroads and lots, with grain silos, warehouses, and the occasional concrete monolith spread out across the city, all coming into view; their grey and black palates turning to garish red and gold in the sunset. The highways and interstates, normally hidden in other parts of the conjoined cities, rose above these segments, each one a river of lights, traveling at over one hundred and fifty miles per hour, serving as the bloodstream of the vast megapolis.

“…I don’t think I’ve ever seen the city from up here.”

“Nobody that lives here does,” Saul sighed, “And if they do, they do it regularly enough that it’s ‘normal,’” He chuckled then, “Only the tourists get to see it as something beautiful… though they never seem to appreciate the grimier parts of it…” He drifted off, turning away and finally opening his own menu.

Alan slowly turned back as well, opening his mouth, before a voice interrupted him, “Hello there,” The woman stood to the side of their table, fingers clasped in front of her, a smile on her face, which Alan closed his mouth and returned, picking up his own menu, “My name is Barbara and I’ll be your server for the evening.”

“Hello Barbara,” Saul scanned through the menu, before lowering it, “My friend and I are new here, is there anything in particular you’d suggest?”

“Well, that depends what you’re looking for.”

“Lots of food, high quality, and…”

“Inexpensive,” Alan quipped in, his frown returning as his vision sped through the column marked ‘price per person.’ $70, $75, $60, $85…

Saul glared at his friend for a moment before smiling back at Barbara, “…with variety.” He finished.

Barbara glanced back and forth between the two men, her smile slipping into a smirk, “Well, given those factors,” she began, “I’d suggest sharing one of our combination dinners. Either the sampler or the feast. They’re three and four course meals, $35 and $48 per person, respectively.”

The pair flipped through their menus to find the page with the two options, glancing over them for a moment before looking at each other, “…We’re going to need a moment…” Saul said, looking back at the waitress and smiling slightly, the outer ends of his eyebrows dipping.

“That’s alright. Though, can I get you anything to drink in the meantime?”

“Some water would be good.”

“Coke please.” Barbara smiled and nodded, quickly making notes on her pad and walking away, leaving Saul to turn back to his bespectacled friend, who’s lips were pressed together, the corners of his mouth threatening to draw them into a smile, “What?”

“…you… you are the only man I know who would order a soft drink in…”

“In my defense…” Saul interrupted him, lifting a hand, before pausing, frowning and scratching his chin for a moment.

“Well?”

“Nope, drawing a blank,” He shrugged, laughing, Alan himself finally cracking a smile, “So,” he began as he looked back down at the menu, “I vote the feast.”

“How about ‘no,’” Alan answered back, “It’s barely any more food than the ‘sampler,’ just three more meats to the main course, in addition to the six already there.”

“And?”

“And, the increase in price isn’t in an advantageous proportion to the added benefits.”

Saul leaned forward, setting the menu down on the table and grinning, “Not quite, the sampler,” he pointed at the dish, “offers six meats, two from each column, red meat, poultry, and seafood, for $35, the feast offers three additional meats, one from each column, for $48, meaning that the price per choice is…” The short-haired human closed his eyes, drumming his fingers on his forehead a moment before smiling and opening them again, “$5 for the sampler, and $5 for the feast. Therefore…”

“Therefore, the feast is monetarily the superior order. Your analysis, however,” Alan was smirking now, “ignores three key bits of information. First, that the $35 of the sampler also covers an appetizer and a dessert, in addition to the main course. Second, that, from what we’ve seen of the portions on other tables, between us we’ll be lucky to finish even those six meats, plus the appetizer and dessert, and that adding on three more would just be a waste of both money and food. And third…” He paused here, his smirk still present.

“What?”

“If we add on the other meats, I’ll have more decisions to make off of the menu.” The blonde’s smirk grew into a full grin.

Saul’s eyes widened and his face paled, “Okay, okay you win.” He chuckled, Alan joining him in the laugh before the two settled down at the approach of Barbara, who set down a pair of glasses on the table, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” She smiled, “Are you ready to order?”

“I believe so, we’ll be going with the sampler.”

“Excellent choice. Now, with that you get to pick a cheese, meat, and chocolate fondue, as appetizer, entrée, and dessert.”

Alan frowned, “We uh…I’m afraid that we haven’t picked anything yet…”

“That’s alright, would you like to just start off ordering your cheese fondue and we’ll cover the other two later?”

“I think that would be perfect. Saul?”

“Works for me,” the man held the still fizzing glass of soda just under his nose, before taking a drink, holding the mouthful a moment, then swallowing and smiling to Barbara, “I’m sorry to ask again but…”

“I’d recommend either the Wisconsin Sharp Cheddar or the Mediterranean.”

Saul gave a quick glance to Alan, who merely gave a small wave of his hand, smiling, “We’ll go with the Wisconsin Sharp, thank you.”

“No problem” the server said, taking the menus and motioning to a nearby waiter, who wheeled out a cart with a small pot, a grater, a set of utensils, and a small collection of cheeses and other ingredients, “So,” The waitress began, quickly placing the pot onto a small burner in the center of the table, pouring what appeared to be a half-can of beer into it while simultaneously grabbing the grater and a clove of garlic, “Is there an occasion?”

“Kind of,” Alan said, “You could say it’s a last meal…of sorts.”

“What do you mean?” The woman set the burner to light, before beginning to grate the garlic, sending small flecks into the pot.

“Well tomorrow I’m heading out east for…”

“A job opportunity,” Saul gently interrupted, smiling at Barbara as he kicked his friend under the table, “And, since we’re old friends, we figured we’d share a nice meal before he left.”

“Aww,” Barbara set down the garlic, switching to a large hunk of cheese as the liquid in the pot began to bubble and boil, the alcohol leaving the mixture, “Well, I suppose that’s how things work. You have to go where the jobs are, especially with all the AI expansion.”

“Yeah…” Alan winced, rubbing his shin and giving a narrow-eyed glance toward Saul.

“I suppose I’m lucky,” The server mused, eyes focused on the grater as she neared the end of the cheese, before setting both aside and grabbing a pair of spoons, beginning to mix, flip, and knead the mass of cheese, helping it melt, occasionally adding a few more spices as she worked, “Those of us who’re working with our hands now have better job security than people who work with computers or engineering, you can’t shift cooking or serving to an AI. Funny how that works out.” Saul nodded, keeping his eyes focused on the server’s, until she removed her spoons and set them aside, “Now then,” She reached beneath the top level of the cart and brought forth a tray, loaded with various foods, mostly vegetables, but also with cubes of French bread and crackers, placing it at the side of the pot, with a quartet of fondue forks, two for each diner, before standing up straight, and smiling, “You two enjoy yourselves and just flag one of us down if you need anything, I’ll be back in a little while to get your order on the main course.”

“Will do; thanks again…” Saul took a long drink as the server wheeled the cart away.

“What was that about?” Alan hissed, glaring across the table, even as he picked up one of the pronged utensils, piecing a piece of cauliflower on the tray, dipping it in the cheese of the pot, and quickly bringing it to his lips, quickly slipping it into his mouth and chewing.

The dark-haired friend set down his glass gently, “You were about to tell a complete stranger that you were planning to get ponified.” He said, plucking a cube of bread from the tray, quickly giving it a small sniff, “Also, don’t bother whispering, no-one’s paying attention to us.” Saul popped the cube into his mouth and chewed, simultaneously piercing a second cube with his fork and rolling it on the surface of the fondue, coating the exterior.

“So what? That’s no reason to kick me in the shin.”

Saul lifted his fork as he swallowed the first bit of bread, before pausing, “Actually, it is, considering what you had me promise after that fiasco in Bonham,” He gave an equal sniff, then used his teeth to gently bite the cheese-covered cube, drawing it off the fork and closing his mouth, shifting the morsel back to his tongue, careful to keep the hot fondue away from his lips till he’d gauged the temperature, before chewing and giving a small hum of appreciation.

“One, why would you bring that up? And two, how does that have anything to with you kicking me?” He grabbed a cracker, scooping up a glob of cheese and quickly eating it, going to grab another.

“Simple, you were about to divulge a bit of sensitive information that might have had you jamming your foot in your mouth and, following my promise, I stopped you.”

“Sensitive…what are you talking about?”

“You haven’t been reading The Tract have you?” Saul asked, switching to a stick of celery and filling the center with cheese, biting it in half and chewing.

Alan shook his head “No, and I still don’t understand why you do. All that thing ever seems to do is piss you off.”

“I read it because it reflects the opinions of a significant portion of the city,” Saul slipped the other half of the vegetable into his mouth, chewing and swallowing, “It’s useful for avoiding setting off a religious landmine in conversation…even if I wind up having the blood pressure of someone twice my age for a half hour after I read it.” The man smirked, taking a drink from his cup, draining it to the half-way point before frowning, “In any case, a lot of the writers have started latching onto the bureaus.”

“Bad?”

“This is The Tract remember. Bad doesn’t even cover it.” Saul stabbed another cube, along with a piece of broccoli this time, rolling the pair in cheese, “Care to guess what the headline was this week?”

“Something along the lines of ‘Evil Horses Corrupt Eastern United States’?” Quickly piercing, dipping, and eating various vegetables from the platter.

“Less accusation, more guilt,” The man once again lifted his fork to his lips, biting and dragging both the bread and broccoli off and into his mouth, before swallowing and adding on “It’s a familiar message.”

Alan’s eyes widened in understanding, “‘Thousands Abandon God’s Gift Of Humanity By Joining Ponies’ then.”

“Precisely,” Saul took another drink, “It’s the same attitude they take toward nano-enhancement, though a bit more…fanatical.”

“What do you mean?”

“They’re not just piling on the shame and dehumanization this time,” Saul shook his head, rolling another few morsels in the cheese, “The prevailing undercurrent seems to be that being ponified is equivalent to being transformed into an animal, or even a demon, giving up being a creation of the Lord for being the creation of a ‘False God,’ far worse than merely editing God’s blueprints, as was the accusation with nano-enhancement.” He finished before eating the new set.

“Hm,” Alan nodded, grimacing as he took a bit of another cracker, “I can see why you’d stop me then...” He said before glaring across the table, “But did you really have to kick me? That hurt you know.”

Saul grinned, a gesture which was quickly returned by Alan, “Hmph, there is a bright side to all of this though,” The man said.

“What’s that?”

Saul glanced around the room for a moment before turning back to his friend, still smiling, “With the public focused on the conversion bureaus, I was able to get this…” He pulled back his right sleeve, revealing a bright yellow-anodized steel bracelet, marked with a black triangle, circumscribing a circle, with a trio of broken bars in the center arranged in a pattern similar to that of a “radiation hazard” sign, “Without too much harassment.”

Alan gaped at the band for a moment, and continued to gape at Saul’s wrist once the metal had been covered again, “Was that what I think it was?”

“Do you think it was a permatech medical bracelet?” Saul’s grin grew wider.

“But…h-how? I thought the waiting list would have held you back for another six months at least, not to mention the price tag…”

“A combination of a few factors actually. For one thing, Bill S.296 was signed over in California last month, and it went into effect two weeks ago.”

“Wait, that passed? I thought there was this huge controversy over Grey Goo again.”

“The mainstream media wasn’t paying much attention to the raising of the cap and lowering of the tax on nano-assemblers at the state level, what with the whole ‘magical talking ponies’ thing going on. I actually didn’t find out until about a week ago, when I got called by the company I was on the waiting list with.”

“Oh,” Alan continued eating as he listened, “That makes sense. The immediate result of the law was…”

“A flooding of the market with abundant, cheap nanotech; permatech included, which caused supply to increase, prices to drop, and the queue to move faster.” Saul drained his glass, setting it down on the table and smiling, “Add to it that there’s an alternative to permatech, one that’s free, that just came out, and people dropped off the waiting list faster than you’d believe.”

Alan squinted, “Alternative…” Saul raised his eyebrows and cocked his head slightly, gesturing to his friend, before Alan’s eyes widened, “…ponification. It’s free, it makes a person essentially immune to illness, grants increased lifespan, rapid healing, sharpened senses, and even special abilities that are literally classified as magic.”

Saul nodded, before looking off to the side, “Hm…imagine if someone got both …the flexibility and adaptability of permatech combined with all of the advantages of ponification” He mused.

Alan shrugged, “It’d be interesting, but we’ll never know.”

The brown-haired man turned back, his brow furrowing, “What do you mean? What would stop someone from getting ponified and then installing permatech?”

His friend squinted, “You…you don’t know this?”

“Know what?”

“Nano-tech doesn’t work on ponies…or…at least, implants and permatech don’t.”

Saul’s eyes widened, “This is the first I’ve heard of that.”

“How’s that? It was in the documentation you sent me.”

“I never read it.”

“Wha…”

“It was a bureaucratic nightmare to get the NCBC to send a single copy of their stuff on such short notice; a copy I had sent directly to you.”

“Oh…why’d it take so much trouble?” Alan cocked his head to one side and squinted.

“Apparently some of the information hasn’t been released to the general public for security reasons,” Saul said, “It’s why the file is copy-protected, but that’s beside the point,” Saul made a waving gesture with his hand, leaning forward as he did so, “What’s this about permatech not working on ponies?”

Alan shrugged, “It’s just that; the stuff doesn’t work. Implants stop functioning within a week and are reabsorbed into the body in a matter of hours afterward; individual nanobots short out and dissolve within days of being introduced into a pony’s body. The short term tech like EMT bots will work, but nothing long term.”

Saul nodded, beginning to eat more steadily as Alan spoke, mainly focusing on the bread that was still present and occasionally combining a cube with a vegetable.

“At first they thought it was the ponification process that did it, destroying the nanotech in the transformation, and that’s what they said to the general public,” Alan took another few pieces of vegetables and a sip of water in rapid succession before continuing, “But recent experiments say otherwise, the tech just fails after a short time, and doesn’t usually work right when it’s working at all.”

The other human was nodding from across the table, lifting his glass and blinking as he lifted it and tasted water, realizing that it was filled with melting ice, he set it down again.

“They think it has something to do with the ponies’ high resistance to disease and poisoning,” Alan continued without missing a beat, “Ponies apparently don’t have lymphocytes or even a fully observable immune system, but, for some reason, anything foreign that enters their bodies, or any strange changes to their bodies, just gets wiped out over the course of anywhere from a few hours to a month.”

Saul held up his hand, palm out, as he chewed a bite, before swallowing, “Wouldn’t the ponies have any research of their own on that? Surely they must have some medicinal information.”

Alan shook his head “If they do it’s not in the documentation, but the NCBC seems to think it has something to do with the ‘magic’ that seems to be present throughout their biology.”

A nod from Saul, “So this position, how much are you getting paid anyway?”

The human squinted behind his spectacles, “What?”

“I don’t mean to pry, but I’m curious,” Saul’s eyes quickly glanced toward the center of the restaurant.

His friend followed his gaze and quickly focused back on him upon seeing Barbara walking toward their table, “Oh, uh, um…”

“Hey there, need a refill?” The server asked, smiling and indicating Saul’s glass.

“Yes, thank you,” Saul turned and returned the woman’s smile.

As she picked up the man’s glass, Barbara glanced at the tray and pot, “You two want to put in your order for the second course?” She asked.

Both men looked to the near empty objects, “Ah…could you give us a little more time?”

“No problem, I’ll be back in a moment with your drink.”

Alan looked after the server as she left, before turning back to find Saul’s face already hidden by his re-opened menu, “I’m thinking we just go with the ‘Traditional Canola’ for the cooking style, and then pick three of the meats each. How about you?”

“How do you do that?”

Saul peaked over the menu, “Do what?”

“Just…casually flip from one topic to another when someone else is in earshot like that.”

His friend shrugged, looking back down at the menu, “After all these years, it just comes naturally to me, it’s not like I had much of a choice in the matter.”

Alan leaned forward, “What do you mea…?” Saul looked up from the menu again, his brow low, the line of his mouth flat, “Oh…gotcha…sorry…” The blond said softly, leaning back and opening his own menu, peering at the choices.

Saul’s expression softened slightly, “It’s alright, don’t worry about it.”

It wasn’t long afterward that Saul set down his menu and folded his hands. He once again looked out the window at the revolving city, eyes gliding over the vast expanse of lights that had come on since the start of the meal, in the wake of the setting sun. Large strands of EL wire ran up and down the glass spires, combined with LED’s and other lights in and on nearly every other surface in the city. Greens, blues, and whites from the offices, banks, and other buildings; orange and red from the as of yet unthinned rivers of cars; all beneath the black, empty sky.

“Uh, Saul…”

“Hm?” The man turned back toward his friend, who’s lowered his menu slightly.

“I was wondering what you were planning to order; so I can pick something different and we can get a better variety.”

Saul smiled, “I was planning on the beef tenderloin from the red meats, the salmon from the seafood, and the garlic chicken from poultry.” The edges of his eyebrows drooped slightly, “Please tell me you have some idea of what you want.”

Alan grinned as he looked up, “Actually yes.” He said, a quick hand gesture toward Saul’s closed menu. His friend opened it immediately, “I know I definitely want the black tiger shrimp for the seafood choice, and I’m pretty sure I want the smoked sausage for red, but I’m having trouble deciding between the jerk and the teriyaki chicken…”

“Get both.”

“Huh?”

“I said that you should get both,” Saul smiled, closing his menu, “I can get chicken however I want, any time I want; you’ll not be able to eat it after this week.” He set the closed menu down and interlaced his fingers, resting them on the table, “Besides, you know I don’t really care for white meat anyway.”

Alan was silent for a moment, “Well…thanks Saul.”

“No problem man. Now, you are getting benefits right?”

There was a brief pause from Alan “Of course. Dental and chiropractic.”

There was a clink as a fresh glass of coke was set on the table, “Thank you,” Saul said, turning toward the server, but not before giving a small grin and nod to Alan, “I believe we’re ready to order.”

“Excellent,” Barbara smiled, motioning to the same waiter as before, a near-identical cart being wheeled out, and picked up the pot by a pair of handles, setting it on top of the cart, along with the tray, before placing a new pot over the burner, “What cooking style were you looking for? We like to get it started before we bring out the meat, so that you can cook right away.”

“Just the canola please.”

The server retrieved a large bottle from beneath the top of the cart, pouring the yellow liquid into the pot, filling it two thirds of the way high before capping it, putting it away, and flicking the burner to a high setting, the flame beneath the pot going from red to blue, small bubbles already popping up at the bottom, “There we are,” She took out a small notepad, “What did you want with it? Two from each of the columns remember.”

Saul smiled, “The beef tenderloin and salmon are all I need.”

Alan glanced at his friend and gave a smile of his own, “The Jerk and teriyaki chickens, smoked sausage, and black tiger shrimp please.”

Barbara gritted her teeth and the edges of her eyebrows drooped in a wince, “I’m sorry…I’m afraid we can’t serve the shrimp.”

“Hm?”

“The black tiger shrimp was placed on the endangered species list two days ago…we can’t legally sell it anymore, and we haven’t had a chance to change the menus…”

“Oh…okay then…um…” Alan picked his menu back up, opening it, “Let me see here…”

“I’m sorry…”

“No…no…it’s alright…it’s fine…”

Saul glanced at Alan before putting on a soft, close-lipped smile, “You…must have some shrimp left.”

“Well yes…it’s all in the refrigerator in back…but I’m afraid that we just can’t sell it.”

“Sell it…” Saul mused for a moment, “Could I…speak with your manager?”

“What?”

“Saul!” Alan glared over his menu.

“I won’t make trouble…”

Alan rolled his eyes behind his spectacles, “You’re not going to convince them to violate federal law.”

“I don’t intend to try,” He smiled back at Barbara, “I’d really like to speak with your manager if it’s not too much trouble.”

The server looked over her shoulder, before turning back, “I’ll go find him…”

“If it’s all the same, I’d prefer to come with you.” Saul stood up from the table.

Alan sighed, “In any case, I’ll go with the mahi-mahi.”

Barbara quickly scribbled the rest of the order down, “Right… put this in right away…” She handed the ticket to the waiter, who nodded and headed for the kitchen, before she turned toward Saul, who stood off to the side with his hands clasped behind his back, “Um…this way…” The man nodded and followed her.

-o-

Alan scratched his chin, opening his cell phone and checking the time. It had been roughly four minutes since Saul had left the table, one since they’d brought the plate of meat, along with several cups of batter and a few stuffed mushrooms that came with the oil, and about thirty seconds since he’d dipped his first piece of chicken, coated in the batter, into the bubbling pot.

The blond turned to see his friend trudging across the floor before slumping down into his seat, “Didn’t go well?”

Saul looked up, glaring at Alan for a moment, his lips pressed tightly together, before his face broke out in a grin, “You’re gonna get your shrimp.”

“Wha…how…”

“I talked to the manager, and informed him that while it was illegal to sell an animal that is on the endangered species list, it isn’t illegal to give one, or multiple ones, away, provided they were killed legally, before they were placed on the list. Ooo, that looks good,” Saul pierced one of the cutlets of tenderloin with his fork, and then lowered it into the hot oil, a hiss traveling up from the pot as he did so, before leaning back and continuing, “Anyway, from there, it was a relatively simple matter to convince him to offer everyone in the restaurant a free portion.”

“Ok…you lost me there. How the hell did you do that?”

Saul smiled and shrugged, “I told him that it would be to him and his business’s advantage. He’d gain some good will and a reputation with the customers as a good host, which is more than what he’d get what he was planning to do with that shrimp: throw it out.” He finished, spying his glass, wet with condensation now, picking it up, and taking a long drink.

Alan stared at him for a moment longer before laughing, “Saul…you’re nuts.”

“I’m not nuts,” The human’s grin was wider, “I’ve just learned some useful tricks. For instance, working for a bureaucracy has taught me: If you have a problem, and the person that you’re talking to can’t solve it, go to their superior. Works just about every time,” He chuckled, “This time included.”

Alan returned the chuckle, before his eyes widened and he smiled slightly more, “Oh, speaking of bureaucracy…” He felt over his pockets for a moment, before reaching into one and pulling out a set of folded papers, “Here’re the forms you gave me, before I forget.”

Saul took the papers, unfolding them and looking them over, “I appreciate it, you’ve saved someone in my department a bunch of work” he said before stopping on a new page and reading over a set of numbers, “Wait…I know this” He read the numbers again, his grin diminishing and his brow furrowing slightly, “These are your parent’s accounts.” He said, before turning back to his friend.

Alan nodded, though his visage shifted to a grinning wince, “Please don’t say ‘I told you so.’”

Saul smirked, “How about ‘What did I tell you?’”

The blond shook his head, “They were planning on going a week later than I was, before I even told them. When I told them I was going, well,” He shrugged, “They decided to move their flight up, so we’d all head out together.”

“I’m glad things worked out.”

“So am I,” Alan leaned back, looking out the window again. The rotation was coming back onto the industrial center. The black buildings were awash with red, orange, yellow, and white. The human narrowed his eyes slightly, “I wonder…” He tilted his head to the side, almost parallel to the ground, and chuckled. A memory surfaced, of being far out in the wilderness with his parents, atop a high mountain at night. The sky had been filled to the brim with uncountable stars, and the ground below completely black, “You’d probably get a kick out of this Saul…”

“What’s that?”

Alan looked back up, and his smile disappeared, his gaze focusing on his friend’s fingers. The middle and thumb were grinding against each other, “Saul…what’s wrong?”

Saul had been smiling, but the expression dimmed somewhat at the question, “Nothing. Why do you ask?”

“Don’t lie to me,” Alan leaned forward, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothi…”

“Let me rephrase that: You know you can’t lie to me. Tell me what’s wrong.”

Saul’s grin disappeared, he set the papers down on the table, “If there was anything wrong, which there isn’t, I’d tell you.”

“Not if it had to do with what I think it has to.”

“Which would be…”

“The fact that I just handed you what is, essentially, the prospect of me being on all fours in a week in hard numbers.” Saul opened his mouth to speak, but Alan held up his hand, “Saul, just…answer me this. Are you comfortable with this?” He tapped the papers.

Saul took a deep breath, looked down, and gave his lips a small lick before looking back up, “I refuse to answer.”

There was a long pause between the two, “Why?”

“Because, if I answer truthfully, you’ll stay,” Saul shook his head, “ You won’t get ponified, and it won’t be for a good reason.”

“Try me.”

“No,” There was another pause before he shook his head again, “I’m…experiencing…a directive instinct…”

“An emotion.”

“…yes. One triggered by the fact that something…or rather…someone, important to me, is going to change…drastically change,” Saul sighed, “It is not rational, reasonable, or even applicable to the current…situation. It’s born out of an obsolete evolutionary pressure for mundanity and xenophobia, the dangers inherent in drastic change for Paleolithic man.” Saul’s fingers were still rubbing together, he shook his head again, “And I will not allow my emotions to influence you out of getting something that I think, not ‘believe,’ not ‘feel,’ but ‘think,’ will bring you great happiness, just because I may or may not be ‘comfortable’ with it.” Saul held up his hand as he saw Alan’s mouth begin to open, “The feeling is not long term, nor is it directed at you, or the ponies, or ponification in general. It is purely against the prospect of dramatic change and it will pass when that change is completed.” He smiled, “Trust me Alan. If I had any serious problem with what you were doing I’d do my best to talk you out of it.”

Alan glanced at his friend’s fingers again, and smiled upon seeing that they’d grown still, “Ok Saul,” he nodded, before a buzzing sound from his pocket drew his attention. He pulled out his phone to see a timer he’d set on it had gone off, “Well, that means that my meat is done.” He said, pulling the fried piece of chicken from the pot, still dripping a bit of oil, “Yours should be done too.” He finished.

Saul pulled out the meat, setting the thin steak on a plate in front of him before setting another in the oil, and beginning to cut it with a conventional knife, before sticking the piece with an ordinary fork, and lifting it, “Savor it Alan, this is going to be good.” He said, as his friend bit into the chicken, and he slipped the tender cut between his lips…

Interlude I

The Conversion Bureau: Dinner Among Friends

Interlude I

A ‘My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic’ Fan Fiction by Mray

Original concept from “THE CONVERSION BUREAU” by Blaze

From the Author: As always, any feedback or constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated.

Interlude I, Part I

-1.53 A.F.C. (one year, three months later) Somewhere Over The DFW Metroplex, Texas-

The pegasus shifted his shoulders slightly, flexing his wings as he sat in the seat of the jet liner, his seat belt buckled over his waist. He reached forward, his forehooves clasping on either side of the rectangular bottle of ‘Fiji’ water resting on his tray-table, before lifting it and gripping the sport-cap between his teeth. He moved his hooves back, pulling the cap open, before squeezing the bottle to drink. He let out a satisfied “ah” as he set the bottle down, lightly tapping the lid with the back of his hoof to close it, before looking at the earth pony to his right.

She had her eyes closed and was breathing heavily, in through her nose and out through her mouth, her fore and hind legs were braced against the wall of the plane, her armrest, and the seat in front of her, leaving her half on her back so that they could all reach. The pegasus lightly touched her shoulder, making her jump slightly in her seat, her eyes opening wide before looking at him.

“Relax Whisper, we’ll be landing soon.” He said, eyebrow edges drooping as he gave her soft smile.

The earth pony gave a heavy sigh, “I know… I just wish it was sooner…”

“Same here,” The voice came from the row in front of them, a pair of hooves popped up and then hung over the back of the seat Whisper’s own hooves had dug into. A head soon followed them, along with a pair of wings, “I still don’t understand why WE couldn’t have flown ourselves, instead of having to be carried around in this…can!” The second pegasus glared at the first, who shook his head, his dirty-blond mane, cut relatively short, lagging slightly behind it.

“I already told you Sky Dancer, the no-fly zone over the Metroplex is beyond strict, only official airlines can get clearance, and then only along the air-spokes and the airport itself. We’re lucky that they even set aside a section where we could train newfoals.” Sky Dancer gave a snort and disappeared back behind the seat, leaving her peer to roll his eyes slightly, before looking across the aisle, “How’re you holding up Mason?” Silence, “…Mason?”

“Hm?” The slate grey earth pony turned away from the window he’d been looking out of, a slim smile on his snout, “Oh, fine…just fine…” He said, before turning back, to the window, his brown eyes darting back and forth, focusing on one of the spires below, only to rapidly shift to another, “Just…amazed is all.”

“What about?”

“What about?!” Mason whipped his head back around, before grimacing and glancing to his seat-mate, a slow-breathing unicorn mare wearing an eye-mask and reclining back in her seat. He shook his head before continuing quietly, smiling “The fact that we’re over one of the greatest architectural and engineering marvels of the human world. We never had anything like this back in Equestria…or, at least, nothing this large.”

“Didn’t you already study the Metroplex when you were designing the local bureau?”

“Yeah, but there’s a difference between reading about it, looking at pictures and blueprints, and actually seeing it,” He turned back to the window, his smile still on his face, “Especially like this…”

The pegasus smiled, “I think you and my friend are going to get along just fine…speaking of…” He looked over the seat in front of him to a white unicorn, “TP, do you have the…?”

“Right here” There was a soft glow as a pair of Lennon eyeglasses, the earpieces and bridge of which had been modified to fit a pony’s muzzle, lifted from a bag tucked under the seat in front of the unicorn and into the air.

The pegasus nodded as the spectacles slipped onto his face, “Thanks, I appreciate it.”

Sky Dancer looked up and tilted her head, squinting, “Why are you wearing those? I thought ponification got rid of problems like that.”

“It does.” The tan pony’s eyes looked down through the false lenses of the glasses, simple panes rather than the curved pieces needed to focus light and correct vision, “I’m keeping them mainly because it’ll make it easier for Saul to recognize me…that and I like the look.”

It was the violet coated pegasus’s turn to roll her eyes, “I’ll never understand newfoals…” She muttered.

Interlude I, Part II

-Simultaneously, 2.5 miles from the DFW Airport-

The radio of the old vehicle crackled as classical rock streamed out of the speakers, the pointer and middle fingers of the driver tapping on the steering wheel, a small tap being added to each beat as the metal joints along the inside of his knuckles rapped against the surface. Below the music and tapping were the whirl of the electric motor and the sound from the friction of tires against highway asphalt as the car weaved between lanes, before finally slipping into the far left set, which curved off of the main road, toward the vast airport.

As the driver checked his blind spot, the song slowly faded out, and the voice of a calm man came out of the speakers, “You’re listening to WNVA-The Companion. It’s ten o’clock in the morning, and that means it’s time for our hourly news update,” brown eyes turned back toward the windshield and the road outside, a soft red glow about the pupils. A closer examination of which would show letters and numbers scrolling along the inside of the lenses, “Protesters still remain gathered outside the yet to open Dallas and Fort Worth conversion bureaus. Official estimates put the number of demonstrators at roughly fifty at the Dallas bureau, and upwards of one hundred at the Fort Worth location. The NCBC, however, assures that the Fort Worth location will open on schedule later this week, along with the Dallas location next month, once construction is completed.”

There was a soft electronic beep in the human’s ear, echoed by the speakers, as the road, and the car on it, passed beneath a metal arch, a new set of characters entering his vision, as a second voice overrode that of the radio “Welcome to Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport. Do you require Parking Clearance ?” There was a slight twitch in the driver’s eyes, small but deliberate, “Confirmed. Long Term or Short Term?” Another twitch, “Confirmed. Is there a specific terminal you wish to park near?” A final twitch, before his mouth opened and he spoke.

“Terminal C.”

There was a second pair of beeps, before new text scrolled in and the voice spoke a final time, “Thank you. Your parking information will be forwarded to your vehicle’s onboard computer and/or ocular implants. Have a nice day ____Saul____.”

As the car came to a stop inside the assigned space, Saul turned his key and unbuckled his belt, the whirl of the engine dying, before his hands returned to the steering wheel, and he let his head rest against it. The human breathed for a moment before inhaling sharply and sitting up, “Okay…”

He stepped out of the car, tossing the door shut behind him, another twitch of his eye making the locks click into place as he moved to the stairs of the parking garage. Exiting the garage, Saul looked to either side of him, along a short curve of road that separated the building from the terminal across the street, watching carefully as cars moved along it, some pulling up to the opposite curb, others moving away from it as humans poured in and out. Finally, as a break appeared in the traffic, Saul dashed across along the crosswalk, before slowing his pace as he stepped up onto the pedestrian area and strolled inside.

The area was wide-open and vaulted, a steel ceiling hanging over the stone floor below, a floor covered in running, walking, and shuffling humans. Some were moving about the large ‘channel’ along the building’s central axis, others were in the slow lines, either at the counters to check in or at the security gates, and still others stood by the rotating baggage claim carousals. It was this final group that Saul would soon be counted as a part of, though he moved to a carousal yet to begin moving, and surrounded only sparsely by others.

Saul lifted his coat sleeve, glancing at his wrist, before doing a double-take at finding no watch upon it, his glowing eyes narrowing, before they relaxed and he rolled them, and a twitch brought up a set of numbers and letters “10:23 AM.”

The human moved to a dusty set of newspaper dispensers, fishing a quarter from his pocket and slipping it inside, before pulling out a copy of The Tract, turning, and going to take a seat in a line of linked chairs along one of the walls, unfurling the paper as he did so and beginning to read.

“Pardon me sir,” The voice came a few minutes later, long enough for the man to get through a few articles and develop a mild sneer, “Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your lord and…and…” The speaker, a rather tall gentleman wearing a white polo-shirt with a gold cross embroidered over the chest and matching slacks, a black bible and a small stack of pamphlets in his hand, had come to a stop as the newspaper had been lowered.

Saul’s outright sneer had been reduced to a merely off-putting Kubrick stare, his shining eyes narrowed as he looked up from beneath his brow and his mouth drew into a small frown, “Hm?”

The man’s nose wrinkled as he leaned back a fraction, his mouth rising as his own eyes narrowing as they glanced over the other human’s glowing pupils and chrome knuckles, his unoccupied hand balling up into a fist, before he gave a huff and left. Saul sighed and shook his head, his eyes twitching to check the time again “10:58 AM.” He folded the paper and slipped it into his jacket, pulling out another folded piece of material as he did so, before standing up and moving to stand midway between the outer wall of the building and the doors from the secure area of the terminal.

He unfolded the new piece of paper to reveal the large, bold letters “TCB” He remembered a phone conversation in which the letters had been chosen. He and his friend had decided to favor subtlety to avoid attracting unwanted attention. He waited there for a few more minutes, checking the time now and again and shifting his weight from one foot to the other to stay comfortable. He looked up to the ceiling, beginning to count the scratches he could see in the steel surface, before he heard the call, “Saul?”

His eyes widened as his head fell, looking around, “Alan?”

“Saul!” The voice came from the doors, the glowing gaze soon followed the sound, till it found a rapidly approaching tan and blond blur heading toward him.

“Alan!” There was a strong ‘oof’ as the pegasus hit his chest, the sign dropping as his arms wrapped around the pony in reflex, though he thought quickly and stepped, rotating in place to diffuse the momentum of his winged friend.

The pony hung on by locking his hooves as they turned, his wings flapping twice to aid him in slowing down before he laughed and let go, hovering at eye level with the human “Good to see you man, it’s been too long.”

“Indeed it has…something’s off though,” The glowing eyes glanced over the pegasus, their owner’s smile being suppressed, “Your voice is the same, as are your specs I see…did you change your hair or something?”

“Very funny,” Alan chuckled slightly, while Saul’s face broke back into a grin, “And I see I’m not the only one who’s had a few changes. What model are those OI’s?”

“M-I-17”

The pegasus paused, “Military grade? How’d you…”

“Ex-Special Forces guy hooked me up, let me get his pattern. Assimilated it into the permatech and…” He snapped his fingers, “State of the art ocular implants, free of charge.”

“Nice,” There was a clopping sound from behind the human as the pegasus glanced over his friend’s shoulder, “Ah, right.” The other four ponies had exited the doors and moved to the pair. Alan shifted over to hover next to them, “Saul, may I present: The forward staff of the Fort Worth Conversion Bureau. And friends, this is Saul, he’ll be our…”

“We know Cloud,” A slate coated earth pony rolled his eyes, “our liaison to the NCBC, via the IRS-DDC. Mason Blade, pleased to meet you.” He smiled, pausing for a moment before a unicorn next to him gave him a nudge, “oh!” he said, before extending a hoof.

Saul chuckled as he kneeled down, taking the hoof in his hand and shaking it, “Likewise,” before glancing back up at Alan, “Cloud?”

“Short for Cloud Kicker…don’t laugh,” The tan pegasus gave him a mock glare before smiling, “Long story, we’ll talk about it later. In the meantime, these are…” There was a loud buzz that made everyone, including Saul, flinch, as the baggage carousel began to turn.

“I think further introductions will have to wait,” Mason said, “I believe we should grab our luggage and leave soon. Cloud mentioned something about ‘unpredictable elements.’”

Saul glanced around, before spying the man from before, pale in the face and glancing over at the group every now and again as he spoke into his cell phone, “Yeah…we should probably go…over here” He said, moving toward the baggage claim, and beginning to look over the bags…