What happens when you die?
What's next?
What can you do next?
I don't know. The only feeling I have now is guilty.
How I ended like that? How I ended dead. I'll tell you how. This story is about my past.. my heartbroken past.
When I was a filly I met that amazing friend. Her name is Fluttershy. She always was very calm, quiet and ... beautiful in her way. I was light-headed and could beat somepony before thinking about consequences.
You could tell now that we couldn't be friends forever because.. we were very different. Nothing more wrong. We always were friends. From the beginning to the end. And that sentence is very real.
She always was beside me to help me and vice versa. In fact, we were best of friends. Teachers didn't know how we could be best friends because we were so different but ... well, magic happens.
When I was sixteen, I came to her home, crying and heartbroken. I never cried before, I was too cool to cry but, when you're dating somepony and then you see that he is kissing with somepony else.. and not you, it's very bad to be frank.
So, I came to her home. Her mom opened the door and asked what happened. I said that I need to see Fluttershy. She let me in. I flew to her room. When she saw me like that she was sad and wanted to comfort me. She asked what happened, and I explained to her that what I experienced.
When I looked at her she was crying as well because I was heartbroken. She hugged me and told me that everything will be alright. I returned the hug and cried to her fur.
This was that moment when I realised something. I was searching for a colt-friend everywhere. For someone to spent my life happy. But, I was blind. Why did it need to be a colt-friend? Because everyone are with colt-friends?
You love someone not because of how good looking he or she is, but because of what that pony have in his or her heart. And you can't do anything about who you love. And now I knew who I loved.
I love Fluttershy. I loved her back then, now and will love her forever. Even now, in my afterlife.
When we were twenty-two, she told me to come to her home. That it was something important. I must say that when I read her letter my stomach turned around. Why? Because I had crush on her. Yes crush. She still didn't know about it.
It was six years and each next day I felt worse. She saw it, but I just kept telling her that I was little sick or something about bad breakfast or stuff like that.
Every time I saw her, I was feeling better. I was feeling like smiling all day. Her smile was just melting me. It was the sweetest thing ever.
Every night I had imagined her and me sitting on a cloud and watching sunset. Then we kissed each other. It was just the best. But better thing was only when I had these dreams. Each dream was with Fluttershy and me. Some sweet or romantic moments. Only when she was beside me or when I was going to sleep at night I was happy.
I'm just telling you this like I was some sort of romantic expert, heh ... I wasn't. Pony learn by time.
So, anyways. I came to her home. Her mother happy to see me as always, took me to her room. Like I didn't know where it is.
Maybe I didn't tell anyone this but one time, her mother told me to meet her outside her house for a little talk. I was thinking that she maybe want me to leave her alone because I'm ruining her life or some sort of these. Every parent would say something like that to keep her child save. Or maybe she knew about my crush to Fluttershy? Maybe she wanted to help me or ... told me to buck off? I really didn't know and that scared me so much.
When I came to her mother she gave me a hug. I was at lost of words. A hug? Why? I really didn't know what to said. When we broke apart she told me that she thank me for giving her child a friend like me to support her. She told me that every night when I went home from her house, Fluttershy was talking only about me how good friend I am, how supportive I am ... how loyal I am.
I was really happy to hear that. These were perfect words for my heart. Because of these words I knew that Fluttershy liked me very much. Like best friend. Maybe not like mare-friend but at least it was something.
After little talk I flew to my home and went to bed like always. Dreaming about her.
So, back to real plot. After that list from her, I flew to her home like I said before. When I knocked at her doors to her room, she opened them immediately.
She told me to come in and take a seat at the couch. She sat beside me. Oh Celestia I always felt amazing when she was sitting beside me.
So when we were comfortable she told me heartbreaking news ... she needed to go. Go to Ponyville, leave me and Cloudsdale.
I felt very very bad. Why? Why she needed to go? What am I going to do? I asked her why, and she told me that there is very beautiful house to buy on the outskirt of the village. She wanted to be nearer her animal friends.
She really loved her animals. They were always waiting for her in the same spot under Cloudsdale.
But, even if it was bad for me I felt happy for her. That she can be nearer something she love so much. I love sky, clouds ... and her but that's not the point. And she love ground and animals. How could I be so blind. It was obvious that she would have gone somewhere else eventually.
We talked about stuff and more stuff. About everything we had. We didn't notice that it was already pretty late and her mother came to her room and asked me if I want to maybe stay at her place that night. I of course said yes, and she said that she need to go to shop and she will tell my parents when she will be flying back here. I thank her and she left us alone, again.
Fluttershy was very happy about the sleepover with me. I was too, but I didn't show it. At least not now.
When we decided to go to bed and sleep I forgot that I don't have my sleeping bag because of unexpected sleepover. She told me to sleep with her on her bed. That they would fit here easily.
I felt like I could explode. My stomach upside down, my heart beating like crazy and my cheeks and nose now burning red of embarrassment.
She saw that and blushed too. Then she said that it will be only like friends and we won't do any intimate things so no need to worry. I nodded and hopped on her bed still blushing heavy. She asked is everything alright, and I answered her that I felt a little bad about this but no need to worry. That it will be gone.
No. It wasn't ok. It was two in the morning, and I still wasn't sleeping. Why? Because Fluttershy snuggled to me. I think you know how was I feeling so I'll skip that.
At her leaving day I gave her an envelope and said her to open it when she will see me again. Only, when she will see me again. She nodded at hugged me that last time. I whispered to her ear that I'll never leave her and after that she was gone. She was gone...
But did she really was gone? Well she thought that she was gone, but I never considered her gone as an option. I was planning to buy myself a cloud home and go with it to that Ponyville. It was the perfect plan, and I almost had money for that house.
When I finally bought that house I started a trip to that Ponyville. I already bought a place here so all paperwork was done. What mayor told me this will be the first cloud home here in Ponyville so it was more exciting for me to live there and better for mayor because of that all pegasi would know that even in Ponyville they could live in cloud houses.
After placing my home in good position with help of two pegasi that came there to help me, I flew to find that house what Fluttershy told me about. But when I was finding it someone shouted at me. I looked down who it was and it was pink earth pony who bolted to the center of that town after she saw that I spotted her. Then I continued my trip.
When I found it I landed in front of this house and knocked at doors three times. In the same rhythmic as I was knocking at Fluttershy's doors at her old house. When doors opened, they revealed Fluttershy with happy face and tears in her eyes. I wanted to say 'hi' but she wrapped me in her hooves and cried from joy.
After four hours of talking and revealing how I came here I told her to open that envelope what I gave her some time ago.
She came back with that envelope and opened it. She found a piece of paper and read it. After she read it she wrapped me in a hug and told me that I am the best friend in her whole life.
So what I wrote on that paper? Simple words what I said her before she left Cloudsdale. 'I'll never leave you Fluttershy.'
After that hug I told her to came with me to see my new home. She accepted it and went to other side of Ponyville.
When we were here she almost shouted with joy when she saw cloud house. She thought that she will never see cloud house again. But I was a little shocked. My home was in sky before and now it was on the ground that even earth ponies or unicorns could came there. When we came inside lights turned on and everyone shouted 'Welcome to Ponyville!'.
I must say that after this party I fell in love in this town and friended with some ponies. Few of them were: Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Lyra, Bon Bon, Big Mac and a lot more. I couldn't even remember all the names.
All this time was very good. The best party I ever was on and the best village I ever was in.
Everything seemed like my life will be good, but...
Life isn't fair. Even when you're trying your hardest to be good to everyone and everything.
Before sunset sun celebration we met that pony: Twilight Sparkle. After Nightmare Moon revealed she knew what's going on. Like she said we came to this old boring castle and then we met her there. Nightmare Moon. She then destroyed these elements what looked like stone balls. After this Twilight said something that we are the elements like she thought that this will end Nightmare Moon but.. nothing happened.
She then used her magic and threw Twilight at one of the pillars. Very hard. Her head was bleeding. We all rushed to her. She said that this is over. And then we heard someone screaming. I knew that voice.
It was Fluttershy.
I saw Nightmare moon using her magic to lift her. I shouted to her to leave her alone and bucked her in my flight.
I picked up Fluttershy and asked if she was ok. Then somepony lifted me with magic. Fluttershy watched in horror as I was flying in magic grasp to Nightmare Moon.
Then I saw her grin and she asked me to tell my last words to her friends. She was damned serious. And I was damned screwed.
Every eye of my friends was on me. I looked at Fluttershy and said my last words to her. I said something what I should say a long time ago.
I said that I love her.
Then I felt my bones started broking at them own. That pain was nothing to compared to the worst pain on this planet. I screamed at top of my lungs. The pain ... was awful.
Then, I felt my heart exploding. Like really exploding in my chest. Then I fell on the ground with hard *THUD* and ... it all was over.
Then I was seeing all from the ceiling. I saw my body. My dead body. I was all in blood. There still was blood leaving my body forming pool of blood.
I saw Princess Celestia appearing with colored stones. She said something to Nightmare Moon and the shot from her horn to her. Then ...
Nightmare Moon was defeated. After this I saw Fluttershy galloping to my lifeless body. She hugged me and cried very hard. I heard her saying 'I love you too Rainbow please don't go.'
And then I changed my mind. That pain can't be compared in any way to the worst possible pain. Seeing Fluttershy like that was just ... not right.
After some seconds I started to be lifting up to the sky and then ... I saw something.
I felt that I was standing on clouds. I started to walk to ... that sign. It was sign.
When I came to it I saw that something was written on it. It said 'You are in heaven. Thing of something you want to have in this afterlife and it will happened.'.
And then Fluttershy appeared in front of me. I couldn't believe my eyes. I wanted to say something but she wrapped her hoof around me and kissed me.
Then I knew I was in heaven.
I was dead.
And Fluttershy in Equestria was all alone.
I couldn't go to her. I was stuck here with this 'fake' Fluttershy.
I wasn't feeling good.
I wasn't feeling right.
...
I wasn't feeling loved.
The End.
Author's Note
Thank you all for reading this story. I wrote it in one day so it can't be even good but I wanted to write it in one day. To have all thoughts to this story at one day because now it's more ... ehh ... full? I don't know I just wanted to write it in one day. So here it is. I hope you will leave your comment to it and leave a like or dislike. And the next chapter is an alternative ending so if you're interested in happy ending go check it out. Again thanks for reading and leave a comment. I appreciate all comments because ... I'm an amateur :D
You can check my other stories ... of course if you want to. 
Author's Note
This is happy ending to chapter "Thoughts". There is no need to read this but if you like happy endings or want to read it you can. It won't be long because there is no need to. This is happy ending / epilogue not prologue. Eghmm ... so, yeah ... I hope you'll like it 
Happy ending. (Optional)
Rainbow Dash was standing there, kissing Fluttershy in heaven. Actually, Fluttershy was kissing her. Rainbow was just standing there with bored eyes. 'This isn't what I thought it'll be.' said Rainbow in her mind.
Then Fluttershy broke apart and looked at Rainbow with understanding eyes and told her "You don't like it? You want to be with her, right?"
Rainbow nodded and looked down feeling selfish.
Fluttershy lifted her head with her hoof and told her "I can help you then. It's supposed to be what you really want. I am exactly like Fluttershy ... but you don't love me. You want to be with Fluttershy you spent all your fillyhood. I understand."
And then Fluttershy started to shine bright light. Rainbow needed to cover her eyes with her hoof. And after some seconds she again saw that scene. That gross scene of her body lying lifeless on the ground.
She looked at 'fake' Fluttershy and then said "Do I have really chance to come back to her?"
Fluttershy nodded and said "When Celestia's horn start glowing you'll feel pain but only for ten seconds. But! This pain will be really bad. If you won't be able to survive you won't be able not only be with her on Equestria but come again to heaven. You will be stuck there as lost soul. No one will see you. No one will help you. You will be able only watch what is happening on Equestria, forever. Do you accept this?"
Rainbow Dash nodded her head. Even if she won't survive she will be able to watch REAL Fluttershy. Even if she won't be able to comfort her, she will be able to see real her.
So as 'fake' Fluttershy said Celestia's horn started glowing. In one second Rainbow felt pain. So much pain that she couldn't fight with tears. She screamed, tears falling from her eyes. She almost broke herself but then she imagined herself with Fluttershy lying on grass, looking at sunset. This gave her new amount of energy.
5 seconds.
4 seconds.
3 seconds.
2 seconds.
1 second.
And Rainbow saw bright flash. She felt her body. She felt her dry mouth. She even felt her heart, broken from all of this emotional pain.
She opened her eyes and saw all her friends and Celestia staring at her with tears, but then she saw Fluttershy.
"F-Fluttershy?" she asked weakly.
"R-Rainbow. You're ... alive!" and then she wrapped her hooves around Rainbow and hugged her. Rainbow wrapped her in hug as well and two ponies started crying.
In some time they broke apart and stared at each others. Then Rainbow Dash said "Can you guys help me stand up?"
Fluttershy and Applejack helped her stand up. When Rainbow was standing she couldn't wait any more. She just wrapped a hoof around Fluttershy and kissed her, Fluttershy squeaked a little but then closed her eyes like Rainbow did and moved kiss into more passionate one.
That was everything Rainbow wanted. A kiss. With her love. Her lips were very soft and sweet. She didn't want anything more in life. That was it. That was what she wanted all her life.
When they broke apart Rainbow whispered to her "Fluttershy, I love you so much."
"I love you too. I always did," Fluttershy said as she kissed her again. They again melted to kiss taking each other energy from it.
"Maybe we should leave them alone for a moment," said Princess Celestia and with other four ponies left the castle.
"And that's how we ended dating and knowing that we loved each other for a long time but hadn't told anyone anything. He he when I think about it I feel really bad for not telling her anything before. It would save us heartbroken emotions. But better late than never right." said Rainbow Dash to her and Fluttershy's parents.
"I must say this was a hell one good story Dashie. But I actually didn't know that you liked mares." said Dash's dad moving his forehoof in circles.
"I didn't and I don't. I love the pony who gave me happiness." said Dash kissing Fluttershy in cheek.
Fluttershy lightly squeaked and said with blush on her face "We can't control the one who we emotionally love." She then licked Rainbow's cheek with her tongue.
Rainbow burned crimson red from embarrassment and said to her "Fluttershy, not here please."
And then everyone laughed beside Rainbow who now was red all over her face, even a little on her neck.
"Wow Fluttershy I wouldn't know you could put that braw pony like Dash to embarrassment. Ha ha." said Fluttershy's dad giggling now.
"Ughh. You'll pay for this Flutters." said Rainbow Dash.
"Oh, I just can't wait Dashie. You remember that day when you said that to me and even then you just came-"
"NO! NOT HERE! PLEASE FLUTTERSHY! I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU'LL WANT!" said Dash who was now hovering above cough.
Four parents were now laughing very hard. Fluttershy giggled lightly and said "I'll remember that Dashie. I still have that toy yo-"
"No! Aghh! I'M GOING TO TOILET! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!" shouted Rainbow and then hovered to bathroom.
"Maybe you want a little help?" asked Fluttershy and heard Rainbow's groan and then her screaming to her "NO!"
This evening was much calmer and funnier than Fluttershy expected
...
And much worse than Rainbow expected.
HAHAHAHA EVEN I WAS LAUGHING HAHAHA. OH dear god. If something like that would happened to me I think I would just burned from embarrassment!
The End.
