The sun is rising again. Queen Chrysalis can finally make out the outline of the horizon again and starts to figure out where she is as though it matters. She gradually continues forward in a perfectly straight line with her wings stiffly spread, in the form of an eagle.
After surveying a huge gap that catches her eye, Chrysalis soon recognizes the Ghastly Gorge nearby; the eyes of an eagle have conveniently sharp vision. This can only mean that Ponyville is near by, and the queen promptly descends to the ground below, planting her talons into the grass and silently looking around. The morning mist obscures everything further than several feet away, and the light crimson glow from the sky slowly clashes with the darkness enough to let outlines from the distant swaying trees make themselves known to the lost queen. Only a weak but chilling breeze can be felt passing through Chrysalis's feathers that currently sprout from her head and body; it's the only thing that can be heard besides the chirping of early birds.
It still seems a little early for anypony to be up, but that doesn't mean that Chrysalis doesn't need to be careful. She almost ran into a couple of dragons the other day. In addition to the fact that Chrysalis never had a reason to trust the dragons herself, there was something about them that told her they were in alliance with the ponies. It might have just been the suspicions brewing from sour feelings regarding the ponies, but she didn't take the chance of confronting them. Not very many options when one is completely alone.
Chrysalis has gotten a little tired from flying all night anyway. She retires behind a tree and lies down on the ground, feeling her stomach rumbling more than she can hear it. For some form of comfort, she transforms from an eagle into a squirrel.
Changelings really can't handle being alone. And this feeling of urgency has twisted Chrysalis's plans for revenge to a point where they become more and more desperate for the sake of feeding off of love just for once.
Her old plan was to disguise herself as one of the newer reformed changelings that used to be under her command. That would have been a possibility, had she gotten a better look at them to know every detail of what to look like. She'd have to find a way to sneak back into the empire that's... no longer hers. They would probably be able to recognize her essence since she's been around her army for so long, connecting with them and being able to feel their presence at any time as well.
This only makes surrender appear to be the most reasonable option, but that is something Chrysalis has sworn to herself that she would never do.
She shuts her little eyes and can't help but imagine her moment her empire crumbled to the ground over and over again. It was such an ugly sight to her it makes her wince at the thought of it. All of those years of her hard work. Her dedication, her massive progress, her sanctuary. Fell to the ground beneath it in mere minutes; to never come back no matter what. What a heartbreaking memory to have in her mind. She couldn't possibly live with something like this.
Had Starlight Glimmer never told Thorax how to escape the mighty queenly grasp and demonstrate what more a changeling could be, Chrysalis would have been successful. And Chrysalis can't believe that's all it took to completely turn the table; it just didn't make sense. She had the upper hand for so long, even playing with her prey before defeating it. Why didn't she gag Starlight so she couldn't tell Thorax and the other changelings what she had?
Things could have played out differently. Chrysalis could have ruled all of Equestria by now. She was so close to everything she ever dreamed of. But it all had to fall at the hands of dumb luck on the other end.
The thought still makes Chrysalis shudder. Makes her shudder even more than the cold morning wind does as she tries to sleep at the base of the tree looming above her. But her sour feelings keep her awake, as well as the lack of love she has been subjected to for... however many days it has been at this point.
The queen was never supposed to go this long without feeding.
She groans in agony that spawns from both the inside and the outside. The pain only heightens her anger and makes her focus more and more oriented towards bringing the receiving end of this battle back to Starlight. But the battle has already ended, and Queen Chrysalis just doesn't want it to be. She can't give up after being that close. It's not an option. She refuses.
She must not give in. She must find a way. She... falls asleep.
~
The sun is near the center of the sky as Chrysalis opens her eyes once more. She hears the chirping of birds similar to before, accompanies by the rustling of seemingly millions of leaves surrounding her.
It's a little warmer now, but Chrysalis would trade this change in exchange for her defeat being reversed. The spite in her heart remains, and it feels worse than anything else Chrysalis can imagine at this disheartening moment in time. She struggles to her feet, still exhausted from being on the run. She knows she can't fly much right now; the cover of darkness from the night helps conceal her presence, just in case disguising herself fails for some reason. Chrysalis doesn't know why she's thinking like this. Maybe she just want to make herself completely sure that her plan absolutely cannot be foiled. Not being able to afford such a feat doesn't even begin to describe it.
But after she enters the warmth of the sun in a clearing in the swaying trees, Chrysalis feels a wave of guilt wash over her. It's only for a split second, but there is a reason why she could tell right away it was guilt.
She wouldn't even be here had she given Starlight's offer a chance. The unicorn didn't even do what Chrysalis had expected her to do after she came hissing out of the rubble. Chrysalis was ready to fight as many of those freed ponies as she could, willing to take as many of them down with her as possible.
Starlight reaching her hoof out to her for a chance for peace caught the defeated queen by surprise. Chrysalis didn't even know how to react to this, standing there perched like a trapped animal. Not knowing what action to take next in the intensity of her moment of absolution. Her moment that could have very easily been doom. A moment that could have also very easily been her victory had she kept Starlight from turning her army against her in such a seemingly spurious way to convert an entire hive against its queen. The anger returns to its heightened state, along with a question.
If Chrysalis's army was so loyal to the point where Starlight's converting them seemed spurious, then why did it work in the first place?
What if this would have happened at any time the changelings were told they could have given all of their love? If they were convinced that easily, then maybe they weren't truly loyal after all. But chrysalis shuts the thought out of her mind and focuses on her surroundings to distract herself from accepting what she doesn't want to be the truth. She transforms into a deer and gazes up at the slowly passing by clouds, wispy and boiling as they very slowly shape-shift like Chrysalis's point of view. But another type of clouds soon make themselves apparent in Chrysalis's eyes. She blinks the tears away as the truth keeps coming back.
Her army needed a hero to free them this whole time. From... their queen's grasp. And that hero turned out to be Starlight Glimmer, and they only realized that they needed her once she started preaching to them. It started with Thorax, and eventually the rest as though someone lit a match in a room full of dynamite.
Maybe there's something Chrysalis is refusing to see in all this. Maybe her bitterness regarding what happened is clouding her judgement and preventing her from seeing what's right. What if Starlight's message was... to her as well? Not just what the unicorn told her after the armies turned and everyone else was freed, but right before it. Chrysalis imagines that being directed to her. And it makes more sense to her mind more than she'd like to admit to herself.
The queen takes a deep breath of the open air, calming her nerves and trying to settle her mind. But she's still out here all alone with this giant hole inside. The one that used to have a healthy intake of love before she lost her queendom. That hole only grows, and Chrysalis can't calm down. Every second she is by herself feels worse and worse.
All of the things Chrysalis has ever known have changed now, except the queen herself. And now she lies here in the grass with a gentle wind brushing past her, completely by herself. Surrounded by a warm world that contrasts her still cold heart that's hungry for nothing but revenge. This raging hunger for revenge eclipses her hunger for love; perhaps that's why she's even here right now. That desire to turn the tables back to the way they ought to be... it's weighing her down. It weighed her down when she was offered a second chance by Starlight, and it's weighing her down when she's trying to figure out what to do next.
She stares at the grass beneath her. And that's all she can do anymore. Without even anyone to talk to about her feelings about being... so defeated. No way to even vent, which makes the spite grow into a heavier weight.
The urge to get revenge stays even though she can't do anything to defeat Starlight. Even though the easier option would be to give up and join her... to see where this all goes... the spite still blocks the option of giving up. The only thing to do is wonder as the wind picks up.
What would have Starlight and her friends done? It really doesn't make sense to Chrysalis that they would turn around completely after overpowering her and offer her a way out of her situation. There must have been something to it. Something that Chrysalis... simply isn't willing to discover at this time. But time still drags on, and so does the desire for revenge.
Chrysalis returns to the shade, feeling too vulnerable to be out in the open the way she was. She needs a place to hide away, to starve in solitude as she goes longer and longer without love. Without a way out of this that she's willing to accept.
She still forces her mind to think of ways to trick any of the ponies in Ponyville. To deceive them into letting her in to their home, where she can go undercover once more and formulate a plan. Then slowly learn the ropes and work her way up to reaching Starlight. And soon exacting the revenge she so unfortunately, desperately needs. Peace can't possibly be an option with the way Chrysalis feels her aching heart beating in her ears.
But that void keeps the second thoughts alive. The void that needs love. That void that needs... friendship?
No, Chrysalis must never think such a thing. Starlight must pay. And her comeuppance will have to come on a day other than today, the weight of the sour feelings has exhausted Chrysalis once more. It couldn't have been the weight of love instead.
There is nothing left for the queen to do but go back to sleep. She needs to be awake in the middle of the night anyway, just in case she gets some company. And not the kind that she won't admit she's hoping for.
Chrysalis transforms back into a squirrel to be able to fit between two roots of the same tree from before. They barely protrude out from the ground. It's absolutely nothing like a throne, but it's pretty much what Chrysalis is stuck with.
But even now, Chrysalis can't stop the wondering from coming back. She just can't help it with being alone with her thoughts and without her authority for so long. It forces her to think about how things can be different. Wondering what could have been when it comes to Starlight. How to answer to this hunger for love instead of mindlessly trying to suffice this hunger for revenge. She's been getting more and more hungry in both ways every time she wakes back up, and it's starting to feel like it's getting to the point where she might not make it for much longer. Loneliness is plaguing the queen as she drifts off to sleep once again, with nothing to say or do but everything to think about. And with no one to love her or give some form of affection.
It's too bad Chrysalis can't love herself.
~
"Hey, what's that over there?"
The sudden voice jolts Chrysalis awake from her sorrowful slumber. She looks around with darting eyes and arms and legs too tired to even move around.
From behind a couple of bushed emerges two younger ponies. Snips and Snails.
"Whoa..." Snails gasps. "Why is that squirrel lying there like that?"
Chrysalis completely freezes in place, having no plan of action in her mind. She has been completely drained of every last ounce of her energy at this point.
"You think it's sick?" Snips asks his friend who's already approaching the deceptively adorable squirrel.
"Looks like it. Let me see if it lets me pick it up."
A magical aura forms around Snail's horn, and momentarily around Chrysalis. She doesn't move, still in a state of prolonged shock. Snails levitates her towards him and his friend, smiling dopily but warmly.
"D'aww, aren't you the cutest thing?" Snails comments as Chrysalis is almost inches from his face.
At this very moment, Chrysalis experiences a slight shiver of something that counters how she has felt during the past couple of days. It doesn't take long to piece it together in her head.
"That's weird. It's not trying to scurry away or anything." Snips notices. "Maybe it really is hurt."
Oh, how right he is.
"We should take it home with us!" Snails suddenly blares.
Snips nods in agreement as the two young ponies turn themselves around and start heading back to town from whatever it was they were doing wandering through the Everfree Forest and the places neighboring it.
Chrysalis starts to form a plot in her head as they carry her away.
To be continued...~
Author's Note
I typed all of this the day after the season finale came out because I can't take my time with inspiration striking because I completely lose interest in my ideas after like three days.
