The Trotting Dead: Hellacious Happenings and Horrific Horrors

‘What is that you are drinking, the laughter of small fillies from a cup?’

‘It is not a cup, it’s a chalice, and yes. Yes, I am.’

~~~~~~

The sun loomed high. Cheap Trick stopped for a brief moment as he pulled his pocket watch; 1:30, at a quick glance. Precise minutes didn’t matter, not today. He pocketed the timepiece, and stared with uncertainty across the street. There, in Sugarcube Corner, was a most disastrous, calamitous, horrific situation that there could be for a pony such as himself: Today seemed to be a special promotion for one of Pinkie’s new recipes. Octavia was sitting on one of the stools with her Bass Cello; from what he could glean, it appeared that they’d hired her to entertain the patrons. To add the icing to this devil’s food, Fluttershy was there and already with a great number of presumably carrot-flavored treats, and waiting for more it seemed.

Well... Blast it all, and here I thought that I would be able to make a choice today... The corners of Cheap Trick’s mouth turned downwards; just as he’d decided that he would make a go for Pinkie, those two just had to up and be there... Cheap Trick just... just... stared at the storefront as his disappointment and frustration set in and mulled about. He sighed and hung his head as he pawed a rut into the ground in his agitation. He thought for a couple moments more on whether to enter or leave, but before he could make a decision he heard that sweet, cheery voice.

“Hiya, Tricks! Want to come on in and try some yummy, delicious cupcakes? Mmmmm, ohh gosh, they’re so good, you have to try one! It’s a new recipe that I’ve made, and I’m trying to get the opinion of everypony on it!” The pink party pony had declared as she bounced out of the shop towards him with a tray of multi-colored cupcakes balanced upon her head with such precariousness; the very sight of what occurred before him succeeded in eliciting a broad smile from the grumped entertainer. Cheap Trick nodded and accepted a cupcake that the fuschia pony had handed him.

The frosting was a rainbow of colors - quite literally. The full spectrum was proudly displayed in streams of color and intertwined with one another. The aroma competed with the lingering stench of death within his nose. The aromatic deliciousness won. His mouth salivated; he wanted to eat the cupcake.

And so he did.

The flavor of the cupcake was indescribable. It was vanilla, but not. There were hints of blueberries and cherries, but the flavors disappeared to be replaced by more fruit. The slow cycling of flavors continued as he savored the delectable cupcake. His audible signs of joy made Pinkie Pie beam with pride. The flavors should have been contradicting, but instead they simply complemented one another harmoniously. Cheap Trick would have been content to eat all her cupcakes out there in the fresh, clean air.

That would solve the problem, wouldn’t it? He thought about it as he savored the cupcake. If he and Pinkie stayed out there... And Fluttershy and Octavia are in there, away from him, so that he wouldn’t have to choose one over the other... But that’s selfish... I shouldn’t think like that. A frown spread across his forehead. She needs to be in there serving the customers. After all, it wouldn’t be very fair if I was in the middle of a performance and some mare pulled me away from the crowd...

He jumped.

His heart was racing; his mind panicked as he swallowed the instinct to run.

He opened his eyes to find that Pinkie had placed one of her hooves on his shoulder. He stared at her with daggers of disbelief. What was this? A hoof? On him? He wriggled uncomfortably as she guided him into the bakery.

Oh no.

Now, it wasn’t the thought of entering the bakery that held Fluttershy and Octavia, and soon would hold Pinkie Pie as well, that worried him - as the terror had shattered that thought, but rather it was the fact... that she... was touching him. Thoughts raced through his head. How to get her off without upsetting her? If her past deflation proved true then she was not one for rejection.

I got it! A trick! Trumpets blared in his cacophonous cranium. Uhm, uhm, ehh... Hmm. Blank. Yup, no tricks came to the stallion. Anything that came to mind must have been seen dozens over by Pinkie, as she attended all of his shows like it was her religion, and that was no way to slink out of a situation. I... No. No. This situation will not stop me. I will... Blast. He resigned to the situation. We was going to have to use... magic. He swallowed hard at what must be done. He sweated at the thought of using magic without the presence of Twilight or Nurse Redheart, but this touching... The touching was most definitely worse.

“Hey, uh, Pinkie...” His voice wavered.

“Yeah, Tricks?” She spoke as she turned her head to face him, and the cupcakes swayed with the motion.

“Want to see a trick? It’s, uhm, experimental. I’m still trying to work the kinks out, and I’d like your input..!” He grinned in his nervousness. He began going through the mental preparations as he awaited the almost immediate...

“Ohh, yes! Show me! Ohh, I’ll bet it’s amazing! Of course I want to see it!” her bouncing carried through to the cupcakes, those of which repeated the motions.

“I... Thought so,” He let out a heavy sigh; Pinkie’s face twisted in confusion at the entertainer’s nervousness. “Well, here goes!” He mentally marked his initial landing, and were he would exit, as well as his secondary landing point near the front of Sugarcube Corner.

He leapt as high as his legs would carry him into the sty, and dove, face first, straight towards the ground. He built up magick and cast the portal spell as his front hooves made contact. He sunk through the ground and reappeared, at a slight angle as to clear the portal, and he soared high with the impossible momentum that built from the portal. Firework-esque explosions colored the air around him and strands of solidified magick confettied the air as he peaked in his launch. He twirled at the last second and landed, straight-legged, on all fours. His mind eased. No one had died. Not this time, anyway. He even let a smile cross him.

“Ohh, wow, Tricks, that was amazing! Magic is amazing!” Her faced almost glowed from the beaming expression on her face. “But uh,” Now it was quizzical, that face of hers, “If you’d wanted me off, you could have just said so! But I guess that was my fault, I sort of forgot!”

What?

“Uhh, how’d you - “ He started, worry on his face. He didn’t much like his secrets being out like that. If that was out, then...

“Ohh, I have my sources.” She smiled as she interrupted him.

“Sources...?” Oh no, who knew?!

“Of course, silly! Like this crystal ball!” Sure enough, she materialized a crystal ball somewhere from behind her back, “By the way, I think that was the first time I’ve seen you use magic. Well, I’ve seen you do magic, but I’ve never seen you do magic-magic. Or was it magic-magic? Magic-magic?” Whew! So, it was Pinkie just being Pinkie, again. As the baker continued to contemplate the pronunciation of a moot point, another voice caught Cheap Trick’s attention.

“Wow, Cheap Trick, I’m impressed! I’ve never seen someone do something quite like that with magic!” The source of the voice turned to be Twilight, who brought Applejack, Rarity, and the loathsome dragon, Spike, in tow, “On top of that, this is the first that I’ve known of you practicing without Redheart or I! Making progress, Trick!” The librarian smiled as she walked nearer.

“Uhm, thanks. I still don’t have much control or finesse at all, unfortunately. So, you guys here for the muffins?” He said with a wink to the approaching ponies. This will be good! Pinkie’s head dipped and her jaw dropped.

“Mu-m-muffins?” Was all Pinkie could stammer out as her head dipped and her jaw dropped. The cupcakes emulated the head movements. Those cupcakes sure were expressive.

“Oh yes!” Twilight replied with a wink of her own. “Hey, Pinkie, mind if I try one of the muffins?” Twilight asked.

“Count me in! I love a good muffin!” Chimed Applejack. Pinkie looked at them in exasperation.

“Ohh, you know I’m on a diet, but... Ohh, alright, I’ll take a muffin, too.” Rarity tossed into the conversation.

“You guys, these aren’t muffins!” Pinkie was desperate.

“Did somebody say muffins?” The mail courier, Derpy Hooves, hovered right-side-down above Pinkie, spilling mail out of her satchel.

“Haha, no Derpy, although I’m sure there’s some inside.” Cheap Trick said with a shake of his head and a chuckle.

“Ohh, okay! I’ll come buy later and buy lots, okay?” And with that the mail courier flew off.

“You guys...” Pinkie sat on her rump, head slumped, and face sullen.

“Oh, we were just playing, Pinkie; we know they’re cupcakes, and I’m sure they’re delicious.” Twilight, now next to the baker and entertainer, wrapped her hoof around Pinkie Pie’s shoulder.

“Oh, thank goodness! I thought you guys were serious!” The Pink perked right up.

“But no, seriously, my dear, ah-hah, my diet.” Rarity said.

Screams.

Bloodcurdling screams.

“Those sound like they’re coming from the cemetery!” Twilight’s voice peaked in panick. Whatever was happening...

More screams.

“Everyone, inside.” Cheap Trick’s ears lay flat, remembrance of the dream coming to mind. The putrid stench returned, though whether it was simulated or real, he could only guess.

“Bu - “ Spike tried to interject.

“Now. Non-debatable.” He shot a hateful look at the purple whelping. Spike just swallowed and walked into the bakery with haste, along with everypony else. Once everypony else was in, Cheap Trick followed after and locked down the now-silent shop. A snarl spread across his face as the his hairs stood up on end. Closer and closer, the screams came. Everyone was mute, or spoke in hushed whispers.

“What in tarnation’s goin’ on out there?” A confused Applejack asked.

“Hell. Whatever it is, it’s Hell.” The entertainer spat.

“Well, whatever it is, I’m sure there’s a logical explanation! We, we can’t just hide in here and do nothing!” Twilight said.

“No help for whatever it is.”

“Come again?”

A crescendo of screams, ever closer.

“Whatever is out there, I saw it.”

“Well then, what is it?”

“Darkness beyond black.” A shiver coursed down his spine. Those eyes...

“What? Where’d you see it?”

“My dreams.” He seethed. Twilight scoffed in response.

“You’re afraid because of a nightmare?”

“I framed you as someone of more class and bravery than that.” Rarity’s words rang heavy with irritation and annoyance. Ponies ran by the shop in droves.

“Uhm, I’m afraid of my nightmares.” Came a Fluttercry from behind the counter. Naught a sight of the yellow pony was to be seen.

“It was the nightmare.” He whispered.

“Darlin’, I think you might be overreacting.” Concern showed on Applejack’s face.

“I agree with Applejack; now let’s go out there, and address the issue. Look, everypony’s frightened. They need our help,” A pony slammed into the door, aggressively rattling the handle in an attempt to find shelter in the middle of Twilight’s voicing, “See? This isn’t the logical route to do things. They need our help. Please.”

Without a word, Cheap Trick walked over and opened the door, which then burst inward, knocking him down. Running through the doorway was Nurse Redheart, who slammed the door shut and locked it again. “Stay inside!” She shouted. Whatever was out there had made her hysterical, frantic. Blood trickled down her face and collected at her chin, before it fell to the ground in beads. “Whatever happens, everybody must stay in here!” Everyone started to panic, except the musician, who seemed rather casual about it all.

“Well, now, if you’re all finished, may I get back to my music?”