The Spoof Collection

by Nickel Alloy

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Other, Romance, Original Character, Comedy, Random, Sex, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 1337

Several very short spoof stories of the traditional mainstream plot.

Several very short spoof stories of the traditional mainstream plot. Enjoy, and please, don't take me seriously.

Also inspired by this. Some similarities.

Published 2016-10-24 02:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-08-04 05:10:44 UTC

Human in Equestria

I was enjoying my normal human life when I fell into a portal suddenly. I became unconscious. Then I woke up in the arms of my waifu, Flutter Shy.

"Flutter Shy!" I said. "You're my waifu! Am I in Equestria?"

"Of course," Flutter Shy said. "I will introduce you to all my friends."

"Okay," I said.

Flutter Shy showed me all over Ponyville. Then she took me to see the princesses.

"Hello, Fred," said the princesses. "Welcome to Equestria."

"You know what I am?" I said.

"Of course," said Luna. "But you are still the first human ever. This is a record! Here, have this specially tailored human house just for you. I will move in with you and sex with you often."

"I will also live with you and sex you often," Flutter Shy said.

"Okay," I said.

Then I visited Sweet Apple Acres to visit Apple Jack.

"Howdy, pardner, it's shure nahce ta see yah ahll," said Apple Jack. "Ah'm Apple Jack."

"Okay," I said.

"Ah hard ponies ahre movin' in wid yah ahnd sexing yah," said Apple Jack. "Ah will ahlso move in wid yah ahnd sex yah."

"Okay," I said.

I proceeded like this for one hour. In that time I amassed 14 mares to sex me regularly. Then we all sexed. It was fun.

"I am going to live here forever," I said.

"Okay," said everypony.

Then we went back inside and sexed again. I got 3500 mares pregnant in the next year. I also became the new king of Equestria and saved it from eighty villains. The end.

Crossover Type 1

One day Fluttershy or somebody was walking through Ponyville. Then there was a portal, and Harry Potter showed up.

"Whoah!" said Fluttershy. "Who are you?"

"I'm Harry Potter," said Harry Potter.

"Well, you must be very special. Let's go defeat a monster," said Fluttershy.

They went to the Everfree forest where Tirek was wreaking havoc.

"Oh no!" said Fluttershy. "Tirek is wreaking havoc on my poor little animals! Can you save them?"

"Sure," said Harry Potter, who waved his wand. Tirek disappeared and the animals were saved.

"Oh, thank you!" said Fluttershy.

"No problem," said Harry Potter. "Oh wait, I do have a problem. I don't know how to get back to Humanland or whatever the place I'm from is called."

"I'm so sorry," said Fluttershy. "Maybe it is for the best. You can learn how to live with ponies."

"Ok," said Harry Potter. Harry Potter and Fluttershy kissed. Then they went back to Fluttershy's cottage and thirty seconds later Fluttershy had had human-pony-hybrid triplets.

"These are a feat of science!" said Twilight Sparkle, appearing out of thin air. Suddenly Ron Weasley dropped from the sky onto Twilight Sparkle and they fell in love. One minute later Twilight Sparkle had had human-pony-hybrid octuplets. They were cute. Then they all went to Canterlot and showed Celestia, who was shocked, and the humans and ponies and human-pony hybrids lived happily ever after with some other humans who had randomly dropped from the sky.

Also, Mrs. Cake fell in love with somebody and ran away and was never seen again. Mr Cake was sad for five minutes and then fell in love with Luna, who killed him. The End.

Author's Note

Sounds a lot like the Human In Equestria fic.

(In my experience, they are sometimes very similar genres. Here's why:
There are two types of Crossover fics I have found.
1) Crossover into Equestria
2) Equestria into Crossover
This is an embodiment of #1. I think I'm also going to do one of #2.)

Grimdark

The siege had been going on for months now. Queen Chrysalis had returned, and was now attacking the land. Several ponies had died, including Cadence, Applejack, and Bon Bon. It was up to Twilight to stop Chrysalis once and for all.

"Queen Chrysalis, prepare to meet your maker!" Twilight yelled.

"Twilight, can I--" Spike started.

"No. Chrysalis, get out where I can see you!"

The bug queen jumped down from the ceiling of her secret lair, which was where Twilight was. "Well, well, well. Twilight Sparkle. You've found me, Twilight Sparkle. What are you going to do, Twilight Sparkle?"

"I could use the Elements and defeat you, but I don't want to. Instead, I'm going to reform you!"

"What?" Chrysalis snarled. "You could never do that. I am unstoppable! My loyal subjects will destroy you!" She raised her hooves over her head and called down her army. Zillions of changelings magically appeared out of thin air and swarmed around Twilight. "Loyal subjects, destory her!"

The changelings attacked. Twilight blasted them. Soon the gajillions of changelings were lying on the floor dead. "I defeated them. Now what?"

"What? No!" Chrysalis yelled. "Damn you alicorns! My loyal subjects should have destroyed you!"

"I guess not," Twilight said. "Chrysalis, you are a psychopath. You could be much more than that with love. I can help you."

"Do you really think so, Twilight Sparkle?" Chrysalis asked, wiping away a tear. "I could have friends?"

"Yes. And so much more. Join me, Chrysalis!"

"Okay. I will join you, Twilight Sparkle." Chrysalis reached out her hoof to Twilight Sparkle. "Help me."

"Okay," said Twilight. She blasted Chrysalis with a blast of love magic. Chrysalis floated up in the air and then came down. She was now a sparkling purple alicorn with a long pink mane. Her hooves were gradiented to orange, her ears were green, and her eyes were turquoise. Oh, and her tail was now bright red with a black stripe.

"I look beautiful," said Chrysalis. "Thank you, Twilight Sparkle. You are my best friend."

Then Twilight showed Chrysalis to Celestia, and Celestia accepted Chrysalis as the new princess, and everyone lived happily ever after. Except Spike. Spike fell into a volcano and burned to death.

Oh, and then Fluttershy married Big Mac, Rainbow Dash created a harem, and Applejack became the queen of incest. Scootaloo killed herself. And Cherry Jubilee was poisoned by Braeburn in a plot to take over her cherry farm. The end.

Author's Note

I'm actually doing this. Ok.

Romance

Once there was an alicorn named Twilight Sparkle. One day she traveled to the Crystal Empire to visit her brother.

"Hi," said Flash Sentry. "I'm Flash Sentry. I'm going to be your personal guard."

"Okay," said Twilight.

Shining Armor came in. "Twilight, Flash, you are not allowed to fall in love." Then he went out again.

"Now that we're alone and our love is forbidden, I am feeling a sudden attraction to you," said Twilight.

"Damn right." Flash took Twilight out to the garden and they kissed.

"I love you, Flash," Twilight said.

"I love you, Twilight," Flash said.

Then they fell into a bush and did sex. The next week they tried to hide their love.

"Twilight are you pregnant," said Shining Armor. There was a one week old baby bump that was very noticeable.

"Yes, Shining Armor, and I'm taking Flash back to Ponyville where you can't hurt him," said Twilight.

"No!" yelled Shining Armor, and he killed Flash Sentry.

"What did you do!" yelled Twilight. "Think of the baby! I loved him! You're a horrible pony!"

Shining Armor hung his head. "I'm sorry. I was jealous because I am overprotective. You have my blessing."

"Thank you," said Twilight, and using her supreme alicorn powers she brought Flash back to life.

"What happened," said Flash.

"You're okay!" Twilight said. Then she went into labor and had a premature birth because of emotions. She got sick but luckily they were able to save both her and the baby. It was a beautiful yellow alicorn that they named Cerise Lemon Skyburst Sunlight Sparkle and then they moved back to Ponyville. The baby grew up to be even more powerful than Celestia. Flash and Twilight had eight more children who were all alicorns. Shining Armor was murdered by Flurry Heart. And Pinkie Pie overdosed on cocaine. The end.